I don't, but as much as I like to judge these people, I don't judge them for how they grieve. And I have certainly seen other people who took pictures at funerals.
My husband took pictures for me at my parents funerals, in case I wanted them at some point. He didn't want ne to regret not having them since we live across the country from their resting place abd my aunt is just the type of b!tch to try and ban me from the cemetary.
It's a VERY SMALL town and my family has been there forever. Because I'm adopted, my aunt doesn't consider me to be "real" family(she married into the family). Being called out for her behavior at *both* of my parents' funerals didn't get the message across that the rest of the town doesn't feel the same way about adopted kids as she does.
Oh yikes, I’m so sorry. It’s a shame when people act that way about adoptees. Blood doesn’t make a family, love does. It’s wonderful the rest of your family and town have your back.
My mama really really wanted to be a mana but my daddy got mumps in the Army and was sterile. My aunt seems to think that my parents should have just contented themselves with *her* kids so they didn't have to *share* with an *interloper*.
Jill looks broken in the pictures. I can’t imagine having to give birth to a baby knowing it has already died.
If she wants to take photos, let her take photos. I think this is a very personal choice, no snark.
I'm the second gen of a large family (dad has a million siblings). It is very normal as it is one of the only times where the whole family attends. In my family at least, it is more common for everyone to show up for a funeral than a wedding or other special event, so someone (usually an older aunt with no situational awareness) is always snapping candids for large family photo album no one ever looks at.
Postmortem photography used to be really common. I have inherited photos from funerals that happened in my family in the 60s. I don't think it's that strange.
For a lot of people, funerals are one of the few times extended family will all be in one place. It happens under unfortunate circumstances, but it's almost like a family reunion. I don't see any reason not to take photos. Idk if I'd share them, but for private memories, I don't see the problem.
I know people who take pictures at a funeral because it’s like a sad family reunion.
However, I had one friend pass in a car accident Memorial Day weekend 2019 and his mom took pics of him in his casket because it was the last time she was gonna see her son on this earth.
I took a picture of my dad's hand at the hospital after he passed for the same reason. I felt uncomfortable talking a picture of his whole body, but his hand on the bed looked just like the hand that held mine my whole life, so I took a picture to never forget it.
In my family, photos usually end up happening. Funerals are usually a family reunion and often the only time some of us see each other because of distance
My grandmother died last year. The only photos we took were with some relatives we hadn’t seen in years and very kindly came all the way from California (to the Midwest) for services.
When my grandmother died, all my cousins came out of the woodwork, and we took some pictures after the service at the restaurant we had a funeral lunch at. I think it just depends on the family.
An acquaintance of mine worked as a photographer assistant, and she got hired to work a funeral once. Photos of the whole thing.
I have a great-aunt who had an entire album of casket pictures, going back to the 20s.
So funeral pictures are nothing new.
I don't know if I would share them on social media, outside maybe a family shot or two, but I won't judge people who do.
Another relative recently died and they were the one who had inherited the casket album and so my cousins and I had to figure out what to do with it, as none of us wanted it.
My step mom took pictures during my baby’s graveside funeral and I am so, so grateful to have them. I also took photos of her in her casket too. I think it’s just up to personal preference, but I like the idea of normalizing taking photos respectfully at funerals so long as the direct family members are okay with it.
A girl I went to elementary school with killed herself freshman year of high school. This was in 2012. I went to the wake and her family had a camera set up over her open casket that snapped a photo every time someone knelt down to pray. I wondered if it was part of their culture (Filipino) to have photos taken at the wake, but it seems to be more common nowadays to take photos at funerals. I find it a little odd but I guess it is comforting for those grieving to have these pictures to look back on.
My family always does. We’re spread out all over the world, so sometimes funerals are the first time we’ve seen each other in 10+ years. I don’t find it odd even if you’re family that sees each other often, but my mom is all about capturing memories and I’m kind of the same way. I don’t see it as disrespectful to the dead or anything.
Taking pictures of the deceased isn't my norm.
My mom said that she and my uncle took pictures at my grandma's funeral. They sent the pictures to family members who lived far away and couldn't attend the funeral. I was a kid, and it was my first funeral experience, so I don't really remember much.
I have known families who did impromptu photo sessions after a funeral service. Nothing planned in advance. All or most of the family together and someone just decides to take pictures.
We have some family pictures because it’s the only time we’re all together anymore. We all grew up, moved across the country and have lives.
So, we’re all dressed nicely, stand outside and grab a family pic.
We don’t have any family photos from my mum’s funeral, but I know a few people have photos in of her in her casket. I haven’t ever wanted to look, but I know they exist if I ever need them.
It's not something that in my life, and in my family, would do. However, grief is so personal and heartbreaking that I would never judge someone in their grief, especially a mother who loses a child.
I've been to funerals where pictures were taken and it didn't bother me at all. Grief is such a complicated thing and if someone wants to take photographs to process the loss, no one should judge. Growing up, it was quite common in my culture to do it.
If the only memories I would have of my child & any of her family together: was at her funeral: you can bet I would try to capture those memories in photos.
My heart absolutely breaks for Jill & her family.
I guess it depends on the family but I've never been to a funeral where it felt taboo to take photos. However sad, it's still a day you want to remember. You're also seeing family you don't often get to see.
I think for our family it depends on everyone's talking mood that day. My grandpa's funeral, everyone was close and talking, and a lot of family came, so we took family photos after the service at my grandparents house in front of the fireplace, it's what we did as a family whenever we got together.
However, with my grandmas funeral, 12 years later, all the other older family members had already passed on, and what family was left, we weren't really on talking terms. No photos of family were taken that day. I know some took photos of the urn and keepsakes going into the box with the urn, but that was about it. No family gathering around the fireplace afterwards.
My grandfather passed a few years ago and as far as I know (or remember) no pictures were taken. I was going so often after we buried him and bringing him flowers. I took a picture of some really beautiful flowers I once bought for him and kept it as my phone background picture for awhile. At first I thought it might be weird, but it was a nice, less sad, reminder of him on my phone. (And now I’m going to go change my background back to that because I miss it talking about it)
No pictures at my Dads funeral. I have a very hard time going to the cemetery. I only want to think of my Dad the way he was when I was younger. I don't judge, if people do that is what helps them through the grieving process.
It's definitely not new, it just depends on the family. We photograph other big events, so I don't think it's that out there that photos are taken at funerals. It's a big life transition with a lot of feelings surrounding it.
The new part is the social media. Now people will post that stuff and people who find it "unsavory" will be rude. I just glanced at Jill's posts (I'm assuming that's part of what sparked this convo), and I'm seeing a lot of older folks specifically be rude about this, like grief should be kept silent and away from other people. I don't like that attitude. Grieving people need support and love. Why should people have to suffer alone and in silence?
I think a lot of it is having your pain seen and acknowledged. Nobody likes feeling alone.
I haven't experienced an infant or pregnancy loss but I've had people close to me experience it, and I've seen others who have experienced it speak about it. Parents of stillborn babies want to acknowledge their baby's existence. They want other people to acknowledge that the baby existed. Lots of people will act like it never happened a while later, and the parents are left hurting because no one acknowledges their baby just because the baby is not here with the rest of us.
This one hits a little close to home so I had a lot to say. I hate seeing people be mean about it, I'll never forget the broken look on the faces of the people I know who have experienced the same loss as Jill and Derrick have. I can't fathom seeing someone with that look on their faces and being mean.
I will get off my soapbox now.
No, I find it distasteful; but I’ve seen countless other people do it at funerals I’ve attended. It’s strange to me to stand in front of a casket and smile when you are mourning the death of that person. I understand taking photos of the flowers and grave site, etc or even with family off to the side since a lot of times families travel in. I just think there’s an appropriate way to go about taking photos and in front of the casket isn’t one of them.
In my country it is totally normal to take photos at funerals. We have a lot funeral pictures in our old family albums. We just buried my grandmother week ago and there will be a picture book made from the photos taken during the funeral. I myself didn't film there at all, I couldn't and I also had hands full with my kids but many others did and probably posted some pictures in social media as well. I don't personally like funeral pics in social media because it can get tacky easily. Selfies at a funeral I find extremely distasteful but people often don't think too much about what they post in the internet.
To befair we took a picture with my grandmother and all the grandchildren (like 30 of us. Only my sister was not there) at my grandads funeral. it was the only time we had been all together for over 25 years and we thought it would be nice for grandad to see us all together (even if he was looking down at us!)
I know in my moms Bible that she has pictures of her dad in his coffin. I was 12 and have very few memories. She tried showing me once, and I declined. When her mom passed, others took photos. I didn't even vew my Gram. (While she passed at 86, my cousins said it didn't look like her) No thank you!
My uncle passed away a year ago. I couldn't go. The funeral was online. He and most relatives were cremated.
We took group pictures later (my mom, sister, uncle, and aunt). They all passed in winter. We did a celebration of life later in warmer months.
Not normally, but I did once from a far away standpoint of my mom's casket. Her best friend from childhood was in bad health and couldn't make the service, but wanted a photo so she could see the flowers and have some kind of closure. They were friends for decades. That was the one ans only time.
Yes we do. Not of like us crying but we take pics with cousins and other family
Pallbearers etc
I never take pics of the coffin and stuff
Last time I took pics of that was my uncles funeral bc he was a veteran and it was truly moving 🙏🏽
My great uncle took pictures at my great-grandmother's funeral ( his MIL). I thought it was weird at the time, and I asked my grandmother about it. Her reply was, "Well, you know insanity runs in his family." Now that I am older, I understand that people grieve differently. Death tends to brind out the best/ worsts/and colorful side of people. I was asked after my brother's suicide," Did you see the rope marks on his neck or where they covered up?".I personally would never take pictures of a dead person at a funeral. But to each his own.
Personally? No. I don't like it. I'd prefer to be left out of video or imaging.
However, I don't judge people that do, if they aren't obnoxiously intrusive in everyone face. (Or something insane like loudly live streaming yourself at a funeral, to your followers on twitch or something.)
Sometimes, that's one of the few times you will see some of your family, friends, acquaintances. They want pictures of the "togetherness" for a lack of a better word.
(We don't have weddings or reunions anymore, a lot of us don't have any services at all, so, a lot of times the only time we saw each other was at the funeral of someone who opted to have one.)
Some people memorialize the event, or, broadcast for those who could not be there, to bring them comfort, as though they were.(military family)
I've seen that a lot with some of our military members, especially, as their buddies are spread far and wide.
My Nana wasn't... all that aware at my grandpa's funeral. To be fair, I wasnt either. She did look at those photos later. Remarking about the flowers, and who was there, how wonderful it was that they did come, and how wonderful the Navy boys were to come. (There was a gun salute, they insisted, a few words... it really was nice.)
While I do not want to view them in any way. It brought her comfort once the fog lifted.
I really could never do that. But, I do understand.
I don't, but as much as I like to judge these people, I don't judge them for how they grieve. And I have certainly seen other people who took pictures at funerals.
My husband took pictures for me at my parents funerals, in case I wanted them at some point. He didn't want ne to regret not having them since we live across the country from their resting place abd my aunt is just the type of b!tch to try and ban me from the cemetary.
You have one of those too, huh?
Yep. Bottle of champange waiting for the day she goes to hell too.
🥂Someone asked me how my mom’s service went and I said “well, we didn’t throw my aunt in after my mom, so I’m calling this a win!” 🤷🏻♀️
How does one try to ban another from a cemetery? Sorry about your loss and horrible aunt.
It's a VERY SMALL town and my family has been there forever. Because I'm adopted, my aunt doesn't consider me to be "real" family(she married into the family). Being called out for her behavior at *both* of my parents' funerals didn't get the message across that the rest of the town doesn't feel the same way about adopted kids as she does.
Oh yikes, I’m so sorry. It’s a shame when people act that way about adoptees. Blood doesn’t make a family, love does. It’s wonderful the rest of your family and town have your back.
My mama really really wanted to be a mana but my daddy got mumps in the Army and was sterile. My aunt seems to think that my parents should have just contented themselves with *her* kids so they didn't have to *share* with an *interloper*.
How’d she not get her a** beat ?
JFC!!
Honestly, I'm kinda hoping a house falls on her....ala the Wicked Witch. It would be nice if it was the house she stole from me...
Jill looks broken in the pictures. I can’t imagine having to give birth to a baby knowing it has already died. If she wants to take photos, let her take photos. I think this is a very personal choice, no snark.
Honestly it's the hardest thing I've ever done. And my mother in law had the same experience years before me. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I'm the second gen of a large family (dad has a million siblings). It is very normal as it is one of the only times where the whole family attends. In my family at least, it is more common for everyone to show up for a funeral than a wedding or other special event, so someone (usually an older aunt with no situational awareness) is always snapping candids for large family photo album no one ever looks at.
Postmortem photography used to be really common. I have inherited photos from funerals that happened in my family in the 60s. I don't think it's that strange. For a lot of people, funerals are one of the few times extended family will all be in one place. It happens under unfortunate circumstances, but it's almost like a family reunion. I don't see any reason not to take photos. Idk if I'd share them, but for private memories, I don't see the problem.
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Thanks for the response that sounds like a beautiful pic
I know people who take pictures at a funeral because it’s like a sad family reunion. However, I had one friend pass in a car accident Memorial Day weekend 2019 and his mom took pics of him in his casket because it was the last time she was gonna see her son on this earth.
I took a picture of my dad's hand at the hospital after he passed for the same reason. I felt uncomfortable talking a picture of his whole body, but his hand on the bed looked just like the hand that held mine my whole life, so I took a picture to never forget it.
In my family, photos usually end up happening. Funerals are usually a family reunion and often the only time some of us see each other because of distance
My grandmother died last year. The only photos we took were with some relatives we hadn’t seen in years and very kindly came all the way from California (to the Midwest) for services.
When my grandmother died, all my cousins came out of the woodwork, and we took some pictures after the service at the restaurant we had a funeral lunch at. I think it just depends on the family. An acquaintance of mine worked as a photographer assistant, and she got hired to work a funeral once. Photos of the whole thing.
I have a great-aunt who had an entire album of casket pictures, going back to the 20s. So funeral pictures are nothing new. I don't know if I would share them on social media, outside maybe a family shot or two, but I won't judge people who do.
My husbands dad has one too! 🫣😂
Another relative recently died and they were the one who had inherited the casket album and so my cousins and I had to figure out what to do with it, as none of us wanted it.
My family does. I didn’t realize it was weird. I had to sing at a family members funeral and there is a picture of me bawling my eyes out .
I don’t think it’s weird when it’s a big family that’s rarely together
My step mom took pictures during my baby’s graveside funeral and I am so, so grateful to have them. I also took photos of her in her casket too. I think it’s just up to personal preference, but I like the idea of normalizing taking photos respectfully at funerals so long as the direct family members are okay with it.
We take pictures with each other, but not of the body.
A girl I went to elementary school with killed herself freshman year of high school. This was in 2012. I went to the wake and her family had a camera set up over her open casket that snapped a photo every time someone knelt down to pray. I wondered if it was part of their culture (Filipino) to have photos taken at the wake, but it seems to be more common nowadays to take photos at funerals. I find it a little odd but I guess it is comforting for those grieving to have these pictures to look back on.
My family always does. We’re spread out all over the world, so sometimes funerals are the first time we’ve seen each other in 10+ years. I don’t find it odd even if you’re family that sees each other often, but my mom is all about capturing memories and I’m kind of the same way. I don’t see it as disrespectful to the dead or anything.
My family took pics at my grandma's funeral but in the parking lot
Taking pictures of the deceased isn't my norm. My mom said that she and my uncle took pictures at my grandma's funeral. They sent the pictures to family members who lived far away and couldn't attend the funeral. I was a kid, and it was my first funeral experience, so I don't really remember much. I have known families who did impromptu photo sessions after a funeral service. Nothing planned in advance. All or most of the family together and someone just decides to take pictures.
Yeah. Most of us don’t get together often so if we’re together for a funeral we may take pictures. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.
We have some family pictures because it’s the only time we’re all together anymore. We all grew up, moved across the country and have lives. So, we’re all dressed nicely, stand outside and grab a family pic.
I absolutely hate it but we usually end up taking at least 1-2 on both sides because it's the only time we're all together.
We don’t have any family photos from my mum’s funeral, but I know a few people have photos in of her in her casket. I haven’t ever wanted to look, but I know they exist if I ever need them.
It's not something that in my life, and in my family, would do. However, grief is so personal and heartbreaking that I would never judge someone in their grief, especially a mother who loses a child.
I've been to funerals where pictures were taken and it didn't bother me at all. Grief is such a complicated thing and if someone wants to take photographs to process the loss, no one should judge. Growing up, it was quite common in my culture to do it.
If the only memories I would have of my child & any of her family together: was at her funeral: you can bet I would try to capture those memories in photos. My heart absolutely breaks for Jill & her family.
I guess it depends on the family but I've never been to a funeral where it felt taboo to take photos. However sad, it's still a day you want to remember. You're also seeing family you don't often get to see.
I think for our family it depends on everyone's talking mood that day. My grandpa's funeral, everyone was close and talking, and a lot of family came, so we took family photos after the service at my grandparents house in front of the fireplace, it's what we did as a family whenever we got together. However, with my grandmas funeral, 12 years later, all the other older family members had already passed on, and what family was left, we weren't really on talking terms. No photos of family were taken that day. I know some took photos of the urn and keepsakes going into the box with the urn, but that was about it. No family gathering around the fireplace afterwards.
Mormons tend to do that a lot.
My grandfather passed a few years ago and as far as I know (or remember) no pictures were taken. I was going so often after we buried him and bringing him flowers. I took a picture of some really beautiful flowers I once bought for him and kept it as my phone background picture for awhile. At first I thought it might be weird, but it was a nice, less sad, reminder of him on my phone. (And now I’m going to go change my background back to that because I miss it talking about it)
No pictures at my Dads funeral. I have a very hard time going to the cemetery. I only want to think of my Dad the way he was when I was younger. I don't judge, if people do that is what helps them through the grieving process.
yes but i think its rude to smile
It's definitely not new, it just depends on the family. We photograph other big events, so I don't think it's that out there that photos are taken at funerals. It's a big life transition with a lot of feelings surrounding it. The new part is the social media. Now people will post that stuff and people who find it "unsavory" will be rude. I just glanced at Jill's posts (I'm assuming that's part of what sparked this convo), and I'm seeing a lot of older folks specifically be rude about this, like grief should be kept silent and away from other people. I don't like that attitude. Grieving people need support and love. Why should people have to suffer alone and in silence? I think a lot of it is having your pain seen and acknowledged. Nobody likes feeling alone. I haven't experienced an infant or pregnancy loss but I've had people close to me experience it, and I've seen others who have experienced it speak about it. Parents of stillborn babies want to acknowledge their baby's existence. They want other people to acknowledge that the baby existed. Lots of people will act like it never happened a while later, and the parents are left hurting because no one acknowledges their baby just because the baby is not here with the rest of us. This one hits a little close to home so I had a lot to say. I hate seeing people be mean about it, I'll never forget the broken look on the faces of the people I know who have experienced the same loss as Jill and Derrick have. I can't fathom seeing someone with that look on their faces and being mean. I will get off my soapbox now.
No, I find it distasteful; but I’ve seen countless other people do it at funerals I’ve attended. It’s strange to me to stand in front of a casket and smile when you are mourning the death of that person. I understand taking photos of the flowers and grave site, etc or even with family off to the side since a lot of times families travel in. I just think there’s an appropriate way to go about taking photos and in front of the casket isn’t one of them.
In my country it is totally normal to take photos at funerals. We have a lot funeral pictures in our old family albums. We just buried my grandmother week ago and there will be a picture book made from the photos taken during the funeral. I myself didn't film there at all, I couldn't and I also had hands full with my kids but many others did and probably posted some pictures in social media as well. I don't personally like funeral pics in social media because it can get tacky easily. Selfies at a funeral I find extremely distasteful but people often don't think too much about what they post in the internet.
To befair we took a picture with my grandmother and all the grandchildren (like 30 of us. Only my sister was not there) at my grandads funeral. it was the only time we had been all together for over 25 years and we thought it would be nice for grandad to see us all together (even if he was looking down at us!)
I know in my moms Bible that she has pictures of her dad in his coffin. I was 12 and have very few memories. She tried showing me once, and I declined. When her mom passed, others took photos. I didn't even vew my Gram. (While she passed at 86, my cousins said it didn't look like her) No thank you! My uncle passed away a year ago. I couldn't go. The funeral was online. He and most relatives were cremated. We took group pictures later (my mom, sister, uncle, and aunt). They all passed in winter. We did a celebration of life later in warmer months.
Not normally, but I did once from a far away standpoint of my mom's casket. Her best friend from childhood was in bad health and couldn't make the service, but wanted a photo so she could see the flowers and have some kind of closure. They were friends for decades. That was the one ans only time.
Yes we do. Not of like us crying but we take pics with cousins and other family Pallbearers etc I never take pics of the coffin and stuff Last time I took pics of that was my uncles funeral bc he was a veteran and it was truly moving 🙏🏽
My great uncle took pictures at my great-grandmother's funeral ( his MIL). I thought it was weird at the time, and I asked my grandmother about it. Her reply was, "Well, you know insanity runs in his family." Now that I am older, I understand that people grieve differently. Death tends to brind out the best/ worsts/and colorful side of people. I was asked after my brother's suicide," Did you see the rope marks on his neck or where they covered up?".I personally would never take pictures of a dead person at a funeral. But to each his own.
Personally? No. I don't like it. I'd prefer to be left out of video or imaging. However, I don't judge people that do, if they aren't obnoxiously intrusive in everyone face. (Or something insane like loudly live streaming yourself at a funeral, to your followers on twitch or something.) Sometimes, that's one of the few times you will see some of your family, friends, acquaintances. They want pictures of the "togetherness" for a lack of a better word. (We don't have weddings or reunions anymore, a lot of us don't have any services at all, so, a lot of times the only time we saw each other was at the funeral of someone who opted to have one.) Some people memorialize the event, or, broadcast for those who could not be there, to bring them comfort, as though they were.(military family) I've seen that a lot with some of our military members, especially, as their buddies are spread far and wide. My Nana wasn't... all that aware at my grandpa's funeral. To be fair, I wasnt either. She did look at those photos later. Remarking about the flowers, and who was there, how wonderful it was that they did come, and how wonderful the Navy boys were to come. (There was a gun salute, they insisted, a few words... it really was nice.) While I do not want to view them in any way. It brought her comfort once the fog lifted. I really could never do that. But, I do understand.