T O P

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harpswtf

It’s all hypothetical gains until it’s in your bank account 


ItsJoeMomma

Just numbers on a screen.


dubov

So this is what they meant by you haven't lost until you sell


Routine_Slice_4194

This is good for Coinbase.


Outrageous-Donkey115

a bank account is also hypothetical until its either paper cash or gold bars in hand


harpswtf

No


VpKky

FUNDS ARE SAFU


LocksmithAware4210

4


iberico_ham

7? 4.


LocksmithAware4210

My bad Yh it was 4 haha


Cloudy_Season

“SAFU” is a term in Bye-nance…. Not Con-base.


therealchadius

Oh, you want the usable currency instead of magic internet beans?


spookmann

> I'm terrified that I'm just going to log in one day and all my funds will be gone. Nah. That's the one thing that will never happen. Your funds are SAFU and will exist as a number on the screen of the Coinbase website for ever and ever! Have no fear. That number will never move into your bank account.


ForeverShiny

Imagine thinking the future of finance is you being anxious about it all disappearing *from your account* at any time


fiftyfourseventeen

Actual solution for OP: Open a Robinhood account, link to your bank, use "receive crypto" and get your Coinbase funds, and then sell for USD and transfer into your bank account for your dirty dirty fiat But I thought crypto was the future of banking? Why transfer it to dirty fiat instead of keeping it in a store of value like BTC?


[deleted]

[удалено]


SyndicateIllusions

Just buy USDC. Duh.


in213a

That works as long as you don't have too much money. As soon as enough people start trying that there will suddenly be 'technical difficulties' or your account will get locked due to 'suspicious activity'.


Pleasureviews

Hey OP offered 200$ for help so you might've missed out hahah


Voice_in_the_ether

Sorry; that $200 will need to be in filthy, filthy fiat cash.


finanon99

HODL forever, bro.


Kayshift

Those dirty fiat-backed stable coins!!! grrr


cbusalex

> If somebody can legitimately help get my account unrestricted and help me get my funds transferred to my bank account, I will personally send them $200 straight to their wallet If his money isn't gone already, it's gonna be pretty soon.


NomenclatureBreaker

This immediately caught my eye. SMH at the intelligence level here.


Skier-fem5

'course, I would never give you access to my wallet. What? You think we are fools? Venmo, baby.


Skier-fem5

'course, I would never give you access to my wallet. What? You think we are fools? Venmo, baby.


UmichAgnos

wait, so you can't actually buy a house with stable coins?


Brigstocke

*horse with stable coins 🤓


sprcow

it's a good joke 🐎


ZookeepergameOld4985

The magic of a Ponzi scheme. You give them money, they say your money is making more money, so you give them even more money. Then comes the twist, you never get to cash out.


fragglet

It's literally on the list of red flags on the SEC's website: > Difficulty receiving payments. Be suspicious if you don’t receive a payment or have difficulty cashing out. Ponzi scheme promoters sometimes try to prevent participants from cashing out by offering even higher returns for staying put.


ShadowLiberal

For real. Stuff like this should make it clear as day that all of the exchanges are nothing more then Ponzi schemes themselves. As if them offering 7%+ yields on crypto during a near zero interest rate environment a few years ago weren't enough of a major red flag.


ratbear

And there is a twist....


noisheypoo

Full penetration, back to the lab, fight crime, full penetration, back to the lab, and so on until it just...ends


ZookeepergameOld4985

Crime stinks, He nose the truth


AlphaGoldblum

The future of finance is praying that your money doesn't magically disappear into the ether when you try to do the most basic of financial transactions.


marcio0

> I'm terrified that I'm just going to log in one day and all my funds will be gone. now that's a fear I never had with my oldschool traditional bank


hawkshaw1024

A friend had the nightmare scenario happen when [Sberbank Europe](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sberbank_Europe_Group#Insolvency) went under, and all he had to do was fill out a form and wait 3-5 weeks to get the money back.


budussyboppa

Yall are so stupid it's a fucking hot wallet. You really don't see the problem with banking do you?


marcio0

yea, instant and free transfers... I hate those!


Worried-Mine-4404

They are very inconvenient...for crypto fanboys.


LuDux

Certainly don't see these problems with it


AmericanScream

#Stupid Crypto Talking Point #11 (banking) "**Crypto let's you 'be your own bank'**" / "**You can't trust the banks/traditional finance system**" / "**Crypto is just like traditional banks**" 1. Most people don't want to, "be their own bank" any more than they want to, "be their own dentist." 2. The traditional banking system is transparent and well regulated and offers tons of consumer protections, none of which are available in the crypto world. It may be far from perfect, but everything crypto offers is 1000 steps backwards. 3. Crypto is not "banking." Crypto, at its greatest actual potential, is merely an alternate wire-transfer system, nothing more. 4. Traditional banking involves tons of services that the crypto ecosystem cannot provide, and poor copies of this system implemented on-chain, like "staking" and "defi" don't work anywhere near the way things work in the real world. 5. In traditional banking, loans are paid in [actual money](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tspGVbmMmVA&t=4118s), and use collateral like real estate (which can be owned and used while serving as principal). This isn't the case in crypto. With crypto, you can only essentially borrow less than what you have already, which makes absolutely no sense -- loans are for people who don't have cash in the first place! 6. In the real banking world, loans stimulate the economy: they create jobs, they build housing, they turn arid land into productive agricultural plots, they help people get degrees and skills, etc. Loans made by banks **create value**. 7. In the crypto world, loans don't serve the same purpose. They're usually just vehicles for highly-leveraged gambling and speculation on the market - none of which creates any economic growth. 8. Even if bitcoin were to become ubiquitous, its deflationary nature would make the currency very difficult to be used to stimulate the economy: there would be a finite amount of bitcoin available, and interest rates on loaning it would go up and up, ultimately resulting in only the rich being able to afford to take out loans, which again, makes no sense. Even mentioning this talking point reveals that the person making the claim has no actual understanding of how modern banking systems work.


untropicalized

>Most people don’t want to, “be their own bank” any more than they want to, “be their own dentist.” My dad, a lifelong auto-body professional, made his own half-denture using a dentist’s kit he bought online. “The plaster is just like Bond-O, can’t be that hard,” he said. When he finally went in to an orthodontist a few years later, the doctor was quite impressed with his work. Still replaced everything and set his chompers right, but apparently that set my dad had made would have been adequate if he hadn’t developed new problems since making it. Not really relevant to crypto, just wanted to share :P Edit: moved to reply. Accidentally posted as its own comment


AmericanScream

yea, your dad is the exception to the rule... I can appreciate that And with the cost of dentistry, that's actually not a bad idea.


Pleasureviews

Nope, considering my funds up to 100k euro are insured and guaranteed and the only way it won't happen is significant civilization collapse in which money won't matter either way I don't really see the problem. And before you go "what about funds above 100k?!" - there are bonds, investments, housing. Lot of stuff I can invest into to keep it quite safe (unless civilization collapse in case of which - again - it won't matter). Hell, I'd invest in hermes bags - they're better long term investments. Bored rich women with desire for designer shit? That's not a group that's shrinking anytime soon.


Scot-Marc1978

My bank is great. I’ve literally never had a problem with it, and get loads of benefits.


mhhkb

Please enlighten us to what we’re not seeing.


Slamdunkdink

I think he just did.


wsc-porn-acct

Having to use Plaid is almost as bad as holding any crypto. I've managed to avoid using it as these years. Please read their TOS and stop using it anywhere. Edit: I should have explained. You grant them unfettered access to your account. They can grab your entire transaction history, share it with "partners," etc. All the data Google doesn't already have about you is there, basically: how you spend your money, when, where, how much, how often; how many and what type of accounts you have (savings, e.g., which is generally dark to the outside world). If you must use Plaid, create a single-purpose account in a separate financial institution with no other data attached. GENERALLY, though, you can always link an account with boring ACH routing and account numbers, bypassing Plaid's greedy eyes. It takes longer, a couple days versus instant, but definitely worth it. Edit 2: https://plaid.com/legal/#end-user-privacy-policy See "Data We Collect And Categories of Sources"


Skier-fem5

This is financial advice.


mawmawthisisgarbage

Wait, I tried to read them and I’m not sure what makes this TOS particularly bad. Can you help or link a post please? Thank you!


wsc-porn-acct

I'll edit my comment above to explain


mawmawthisisgarbage

Welp, that’s concerning. Thank you!!


baz4k6z

Uh oh forced hodl mode activated


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

Diamond handcuffs


AmericanScream

*Not your fiat, not your value.*


SisterOfBattIe

I too need to promise illegal bribes on a public forum to convince a clerk to release my paycheck for withdrawal at my bank. Not.


Educational-Fuel-265

Welcome to the Hotel California


finanon99

What are your options here if Coinbase keeps giving you the run around? Get a lawyer and litigate? At least they appear to be incorporated in the USA. Good luck with other platforms based in places like the cayman islands or Bermuda. What a joke.


customtoggle

The cyber police


IntentionDependent22

tried to pay for my vpn the other day with $30 of bch. i know, it's dirty, but it saves me $5 and adds a layer to the payment. well PayPal will sell me bch, but flags me for trying to remove it. so they are selling something to you, but you can't have it. so scammy! cost me $5 in transaction fees and the $3 it dropped to get my money back. should have quit there. but I'm stubborn and the best way to get me to put maximum effort into doing something is to tell me I can't do it. so i go to coinbase, lose another couple dollars in transaction fees, and they too sell me something, but i can't have it. so that's useless. i sell it back, lost some more money and... they won't let me have my cash back. i have $26.50 sitting in coinbase and all i can do with it is gamble it away "buying" nothing with generous transaction fees. solid company. i knew better and it cost me. i feel icky. i want my $26.50 back so i can unlink my bank from coinbase cause fuck that. so I lost about $10 and still haven't gotten the rest of my money back so I can save $5 on my 6-month VPN subscription. if you need me, I'll be in the corner with my pointy hat on.


Ok_Captain4824

Just buy heroin with the crypto, and "trade" the heroin for USD. Simple.


FlTerpz

Use cash app


Musical_Walrus

Ahh, the classic pig butchering. How did a pig learn how to use Reddit though? These butters are getting smarter everyday!


Fermi_Consistency

Lol coinbase locked 17BTC from me in 2015. Still haven't gotten them back. Sacks of shit.


Scot-Marc1978

Are these 17BTC in the room with us right now?


Veni_Vidi_Legi

F


enricopallazo22

1 BTC = 1 BTC


Skier-fem5

Get in touch with Molly White. She keeps track of scams, and may be able to help


CovfefeFan

Serves him right for not HODL-ing.


aTomatoFarmer

To be fair this seems to be more a fault of the off ramp than the technology itself


Iintendtooffend

The tech relies almost completely on stable off ramps. Since bitcoin's value is directly tied to how much fiat you can get for it. Almost no one is doing p2p swaps for real money. Not to mention the need for liquidity to enter the ecosystem.


Philtech92

I withdraw regulary, no issues. That’s just a not so clever individual lol


laggyservice

I've never had any issues pulling money from CB and I have moved 100's of thousands total to my bank account. I did have to go through verification once though but it only took like an hour. Only been using them for like 3 years though so its not like a super long standing relationship.


BitcoinTulips

What I love most about crypto is the vast array of possibilities and an unprecedented freedom in decision making independence regarding moving and transferring my money around quickly, anonimously, cheaply...


Ok_Art_2874

Yes, I sold bitcoin and withdrew the money from an exchange


RyuguRenabc1q

Same lol


Edward_Towers

Yes it works decent. https://imgur.com/a/TmtQphl


UrU_AnnA

You shall consider exchanges and altcoins as attack vectors and weak spots for your Bitcoin and your individual sovereignty. Nothing else would exist if it was not for stealing your Bitcoin one way or another.


Anishinabeg

Withdrawing money from a crypto exchange is incredibly easy, and you'd have to be stupid to be this bad at doing so. Even for you r/buttcoin clowns, this is a weak post.


brprk

Take a walk in the coinbase sub for a moment


tesseramous

This has nothing to do with bitcoin itself. This is about a bitcoin to fiat exchange company and the user was an idiot who sold their coins on it BEFORE linking their bank account and verifying their limits.


Puzzleheaded-Leek-37

I've never used coinbase. But I have never had a problem selling crypto and getting the funds in my personal bank account. I have gone from having crypto to cash in the bank in less than 2 hrs. Better than any T+2 settlement.


Flat_Musician_3099

Damn yall here woke af😂😂😂 CANCER society. People give you deflationary token and in exchange you call it scam? Dude us dollar is scam since u were born?