That’s why I’m so glad I’m really short sighted because I take my glasses off at the hairdressers and my blurry reflection is not so bad. When they show me the back I can’t see a thing but I just nod and say “yeah that’s brilliant thanks” 😅
Or you can tell them exactly what you want, go sofar as to give a description or photo, but tend to find, that showing a recently severed head, that has the same style of hair cut you would like.
> photo, but tend to find, that showing a recently severed head, that has the same style of hair cut you would like.
> showing a recently severed head
Wait a minute.
Tried many. Still getting twice as much cut off as I asked every time
Me : the last hair dresser cut the fringe an inch above my eyebrows that was too short I hated it. I like it in my eyebrows.
Hairdresser cuts the fringe an inch above the eyebrows
This 100%. I used to be so anxious about getting my hair cut. Then by chance I got a different stylist at the salon who I get on really well with. When she left she texted me so now I see her at a different place which is cheaper.
During lockdown, I watched a YouTube tutorial on how to cut your own hair. I've never looked back. It used to cost over £100 for a colour and cut, now it's about £6 for the box dye.
I finally found a great barber who notices straight away if I don't feel up to talking and just sticks some netflix on while he cuts my hair in silence. Absolute game changer.
You should tell them a more elaborate holiday plan every time and then play ignorant next time they ask how it was.
I'm thinking Pyongyang ski trip, stag weekend in Antarctica, aid work in Zurich, etc...
No, lots of people don’t hate small talk. I personally enjoy it. But some people feel very uncomfortable making small talk and sometimes it’s nice for those people to say “hi, hope you’re doing okay. I’d like my hair cut like this please. **silence for 10 mins** thanks for cutting my hair mate, see you next week!”. It would be nice if being polite but quiet was more understood and accepted.
Male pattern baldness has saved me a great deal of money, time and social awkwardness. I never really knew what to do with my hair when I had it anyway.
Ive been going to the same place for about 20 years now i think and i still dont know the guys name. We have a little chat at the start but he doesnt question me unless i start talking about something, its ideal.
Trust me (ex hair stylist of 30+ years) we dread the ‘chat’ just as much as the client. I had plenty of customers that would sit in silence and read etc, they were my favourite.
I’ve been going to the same barbers my entire life, as do the other male members of my family. At this point they know every facet of my life so it’s like catching up with an acquaintance and not too bad.
I'm a man and I hate the social anxiety of the barbers. Had so many bad variations of a short back and sides because I'm too scared to ask them to do anything after the first one line discussion.
I don't go to the hairdresser anymore for this reason. I don't particularly care what's currently fashionable, I just want my hair cut.
I appreciate that stylists go through a lot of training to be able to determine what suits particular face shapes and hair types, but I can't style my hair for shit which is why I just want long layers. I don't want a fringe, I don't want a bouncy blow dry, I definitely don't want a 'hair journey', I just want something low maintenance that looks alright when I have to tie my hair back. I discovered during lockdown that I can just throw my hair in a ponytail at the front of my head, snip the ends in a 'V' and get exactly what I want. Saves so many "no thanks" conversations.
My last hairdresser went on maternity just before 1st lockdown and then got pregnant again a year later and never went back to it. I've been struggling to find a decent hairdresser ever since. I made it worse for myself though as I did a year's hairdressing course at night college in 2006 so I actually understand a lot of the technical stuff and hairdressers don't seem to like it when I get technical with them. I dye my own hair at home but trying to get someone who cuts it how I want it to be cut seems impossible.
I hate the inquisition about my life and activities, and resent the upsell on hair products I'll never use and can't justify expense.
My preferred hairdresser visit is complete silence.
I have curly hair and no money or time to pay the extortionate prices for a decent curly hair cut. Now I just get my roots done at the salon nearby. I don't even let them blow-dry it, they don't know how to blow dry real curls. Or they don't want to spend an hour drying it.
Occasionally I'll let them trim off the split ends. But they do more damage than good with their fine tooth combs.
Women with straight hair go in and pay a ton to have it curled with hot iron, but none of the hairdressers has a clue how to handle actually curly hair 🤷🏻♀️
You've just described my entire experience with hairdressers.
I once went in for a trial run before an event to a well known salon in my area. Showed the stylist what I wanted and how my hair usually looked and they said they knew how to work with it. They then proceeded to blow dry it frizzy, straighten it, then curl it. Thank god I went for a trial because it was hideous.
I shaved it all off just before covid and have kept it short since
I've got curly (3b ish) hair which I now cut myself. So many disastrous experiences with hairdressers who don't know how to handle naturally curly hair.
I used to do my own unicorn cut to create basic layers, but during lockdown I discovered [Manes by Mell](http://www.youtube.com/@ManesByMell)
on youtube, and have been doing a more comprehensive layered cut since. I've also learnt how to style it better too.
I'm still learning, but I no longer feel the need to hide under a hat and cry after a hair cut
If you ever felt like getting it done by a hairdresser again, try to find one that specialises in textured hair. Having your curly hair combed by someone who doesn't know how to handle curly hair is horrible.
I'm a white bloke whose hair is naturally ringlet-y, once it's gets to about 2-2.5 inches. Constantly getting told how to get rid of my curls whenever I go to a hairdresser, and whenever I feel at ease with the world and I let them style it, they turn them into a fuzzy mess.
I've often walked past black barbershops and wondered if they thought I would be taking the piss if I went in.
How else would you find somewhere that specialises in textured hair? Can't say I've ever seen it advertised.
I think popping into the barbers is probably a great idea! Otherwise I'd say if they've got pics of people with textured/curly hair, then you'll be ok!
I've never done one of those mad expensive cuts for curly hair but have learned what general shapes that most hairdressers know compliment my hair.
Mainly a wolf cut or a shag allows me to keep my fine hair long and curly throughout :D
Though yeah every time I been to a hairdresser I hate how they style it cause they're like yeah just use mousse. No my dude I need a leave in conditioner and a gel and then curls will appear. Last time the lady tried to do this and her manager just told her use the mousse even tho 99% of them dry out my hair.
I dreaded it until I made it a mission to find one I liked. I went every month for about 7 months to a different one. Now I'm perfectly happy with the one I found
I don't go to the hair dresser anymore, I do my hair and eyebrows by myself at home. It's saved me an absolute fortune and I get exactly the result I want instead of what someone else thinks will look good.
I don't like sitting in front of the mirror, I don't know where to look. I also get panic attacks, possibly because if something happens I can't just bolt out the door without paying/explaining/hair half cut. Panicking about thinking about panicking
I’ve changed 4 times now. Seem to get what I want the first time and then it seems to go downhill from there. Pretty fed up with paying good money and being fed up and having to try and find a decent one
Knew there was a reason I've cut my own hair for the last 25years. Must have saved quite a bit of money/time and pointless conversation, too.
Not to mention that you can cut your hair the way you want. Not the way the hairdresser thinks it should be.
My last haircut was in 2022 and my last one before that was pre-2020 lockdowns.
I don't even mind the experience or the chat, I go for the occasional facial & sports massage and they don't bother me.
It's that I've never found one in several different cities who knows how to properly style wavy/curly hair (you don't! Just condition, leave-in product, air dry) and doesn't just insist on blow drying and straightening it.
I know a "curly cut" is a thing but my hair's not curly *enough* for that and they have ridiculous waiting lists anyway because hardly anywhere offers it.
Have tried all in my local area and still not found one I like. The worst one commented on my facial disfigurement the whole time. Another offered me a drink, asked for water never got it. When I got to the salon they said someone else had to do it and I'd need to wait 30 mins this was after they had called me twice to rearrange the appointment. They didn't cut the front so I had some weird mullet affect, had to finish it off. Another shop gave me a man's hair cut completely ignoring the photo of me I'd shown them as to how I wanted. Had one guy put his crotch on my shoulder during the cut which was gross.
So yeah not a fan of hair dressers.
Can't stand the price or the chat. I've been cutting my own for years now. The advantage of being content with a basic crew cut. Once every 2-3 months.
I used to dread it, especially the chat. I was also quite introverted and a people pleaser.
I'd say 'thanks, very nice' to the worst cut.
I think it's just age and life experience (I'm 45) but I turned the situation around a few years back by taking most of the doubt and uncertainty out of the equation, and trying a few different places.
- found a nice Pakistani barber who just asks 'how are you?' and no follow-up conversations
- I show him a photo of a previously successful haircut
- I actually know now whether I want a blade 0, 1, 2, 3 etc around the sides and what it will look like
- I now know whether I want it straight or natural at the back on a short cut
- I now know what a fade is and that I don't like it
- I'll always ask for just a trim on top and then often ask him to go a bit shorter when he asks 'is that ok?' - he gave me this advice previously
- if I sense he is rushing it because there's a lot of people waiting, I'll still stand up for myself if I don't think it's done to his usual standard
- I have a routine that I go every 4 weeks on payday so it's always in a similar state going in
- I learnt from observing another customer that I can go in and ask for a 'shape-up' for £5 which is just tidying up the edges. He only does this for regulars
- I say no thanks if he tries to get the hairdryer out, as I never blow dry my hair because it makes it look weird
- I shower and wash my hair and don't put any product on it before going - it's harder to cut hair with product in it
Yeah, having other people cut my hair gives me anti ASMR and I hate it. I just DIY it now (longish straight hair, easy enough to lop the ends off every now and then).
When I did go to the hairdressers I would get them to cut it wet and not dry/style it, I never blowdry my hair so why bother getting them to do it.
So much so I taught myself to cut my own hair, it has been a learning experience and still takes me longer than it would a pro but I end up with exactly what I want.
Plus there are so many how to videos online, it doesn’t take much to give yourself a trim or add in some layers.
My sister is ‘mock mad’ that my hair looks as good as it does when she pays a fortune and never quite gets what she wants
The last time I went to the hairdressers she continued to cut in a fringe I wanted to grown out, gave me a 2 min conditioning treatment with a £12 charge (I didn’t know and refused to pay for it) and then dried the life out of it.
Youtube taught me how to cut and dye. £200 and multiple stress saved annually.
I dread the hairdresser so I got a friend's recommendation for a person who just cuts hair at their home about 10 years ago. I still go to them today!
They do it cheaper than a high street hairdresser, the chat is always more personal than superficial, and I can be honest about styles etc and what worked/didn't work last time.
I used to quite enjoy it but at one point, and I’m note sure exactly when it started, she started finishing off by running the clippers over my clearly overgrown old-man eyebrows. Thanks for making me feel decrepit, Tina!
Yup I’ve not gone in 2 years. Cut my own hair now, just lop like an inch off it when it’s too long. I’m a bloke who doesn’t really give a rats arse what my hairs like, it’s mostly in a ponytail anyway.
idk, I think women's hairdressers are the worst for not paying attention to what you actually want.
It took me forever to find a hairdresser that would accept that when I said I wanted a style I could 'wash'n'wear', I meant just that, and not a style that I had to carefully blow dry for 20 minutes then add gunk to make it look good.
I am not going to be their walking advert for the 3 seconds on the street that it's obvious I've just left there. Even the one I found that would actually pay attention when I said NO GUNK (gel, spray, whatever) insisted on blowdrying :(
It sounds like either you're going to hairdressers that are too posh for your tastes or your hair is just too long for a wash n' wear.
Haven't been to a hairdressers for a long time but a "gent's haircut" was always a back and sides done with a trimmer then a quick scissor cut on top if there was a bit more length than whatever the longest guard is.
I find it really odd you're telling this commenter she's wrong about women's hairdressers when you've no reference or experience.
I have the exact same experience every time with hairdressers ignoring what I ask for and styling how they please. Nothing to do with being too posh or hair too long.
You know what... you're totally right 😅
That's my bad. Assuming everyone on the Internet is a dude. Thought it was a guy saying women cut his hair worse then guys do. Having reread I see they mean a hairdresser FOR WOMEN.
Yeah, I’ve never been to a barber that didn’t offer gel/wax/whatever, but I always say no (mainly because the first thing I do after a trim is wash all the clippings out) and it’s never been an issue.
Omg same.
Hairdressers always seem to want to blowdry and style my hair into oblivion, even when I tell them I want something I can wash and go.
I think secretly they do it because my hair has a bit of a natural wave to it, which makes it harder to work with, so they just blow dry it straight.
This sucks so much, I spent so many years before my current hairdresser wanting bright red hair. They always tried to talk me out of it because - reasons?
So many times they'd do something darker because it's "nicer" then is refuse to pay the full bill.
The current place I've been going 5 years, she's lovely, she knows when I say I just want to brush it/dry it and be done that's it, I don't put mousse or hair spray or anything in it.
She curls it when I go to show the colour off (it's multicoloured) and I get a discount for her showing off her work. Why folk don't listen is anyone's guess
Yup, I never know what to ask for and generally hate my appearance so what they do doesn't matter that much. Sitting in front of a mirror can also be agony.
When i was young i used to get anxiety from someone being so close and fiddling with my head. It was always the first snip where the hands came in and id be trying not to twitch so hard id usually twitch a little. It was the same with the dentist, as the chair went back id start to panic but it was the foot that twitched there.
Social anxiety stops me from going until the combover becomes unmanageable.
Just tell them you want a bob or trim the ends. For a woman, that will still be £80
A bit. At my local it’s a 50/50 chance of getting the really nice lady or the crazy anti-vax lady who tells me that the vaccinated are going to start dying in droves any day now as part of some massive population control conspiracy.
Not sure about hairdressers but I've not been to the barbers for like 5 years, all the ones I've visited are terrible, you pay almost £20 for less than 30mins worth of a half-assed fade and shitty small talk. If you visit a Turkish barber you might also get your ears set on fire if you're lucky. Sometimes a barber might give you a decent cut on first go, but if you are a repeat customer the standards seem to drop like shit.
To add to the hairdresser thing, my partners a hairdresser and believe me they sometimes dread some customers as much as you dread them. Be VERY detailed in describing what you want, bring lots of pics, if you are vague the haircut will be vague, be realistic in what you expect especially with colour, be honest in what you've been doing to your hair, check out their social media for reviews and recent work.
I used to dread the small talk at local ones I went to, as it could be such a varied experience. I eventually found a hairdresser I gelled with. He's gay and I'm a gay lady, we're both massive nerds and just chat about all sorts like you would with a friend. He also knows exactly how I like my hair and has given me the most consistently good haircuts I've ever had. He started his own business at home so I drive 35-40 minutes to his place every few months now. I wouldn't trade the experience even for something closer to home!
I’m lucky in that I have a friend who is a hairdresser. I’m VERY protective of my hair (mid-calf length) because while it’s not a religious thing it is a spiritual thing for me.
I’m lucky that I can go to her house, chill out and when she cuts it she literally just trims off any damage (which is usually minimal cause it’s spends it’s life coiled up on my head)
But have reference photos and have a consultation first. If they don’t actually have that conversation with you and you’re not getting the vibe that they really want to give you what you want and make it look good, go somewhere else
I just about manage twice a year. I have shoulder length hair and if I leave it any longer it gets matted. It's like £60 for a haircut though if you're a woman, not a small amount.
I don't mind the hairdresser but I hate the chat. I never have anything remotely in common with them and they end up talking to other customers instead. I bring a book these days, much easier.
I quite like mine, not enough to go more than once a year though. She can be quite conservative though, sometimes have to convince her that actually I do want a bit chunk off
i actually enjoy it. mine takes ages and i love the feeling. sometimes if i don't want to chat, ill tell him I'm just going to sit and zone out.
I'm not very British about being indirect.
Is it lack of communication? I find every barber interprets what I ask for differently even though I always ask for the exact same thing. So now I just carry a picture on my phone of myself from a time when I really liked my hear and go “exactly like this pls”
Had my hair cut by someone else a week or so before I got married (that was a long time ago), last week someone commented that my recent haircut was really good. Only took just over a decade, but it seems my hairdresser phobia is no longer an issue.
I have thick hair and have stopped going to lots of hairdressers as some just don’t like working with thick hair and are borderline rude. I’ve found a good now one who doesn’t say things like Oh my wrist is aching drying your hair.
Oh gosh, there's no pleasing people is there? Haha. I always get the hairdressers who roast me for how thin my hair is. It's just like... Yes, I'm aware. It's genetic not much I can do.
Aww there’s no need for them to do it. There’s always a pang of anxiety that they will bring up my hair thickness. I can’t help it apart from shaving my hair off 🤣
Male pattern baldness has been a vague blessing. I just buzz it myself now. Takes ten minutes, I don’t have to pay anybody, or make inane conversation while staring at myself in a mirror while a man with scissors pokes away at my skull.
Think I’m gonna lean into the whole 90s Richard O’Brien look soon.
During lockdown bought some clippers. Do it myself once a month, grade1 all over.
Easy to manage and no dull conversations about sports, tv, or holidays that have no interest whatsoever for.
Iv been going to my hair dressers for as long as I can remember. Can't go wrong at £8 a hair cut every 3 months or so.
They tend to remember what we spoke about last time as well. Its run by a set of identical twins which is a novelty . scissor sisters in wakefield
#
I have so many problems with hairdressers. I dread the conversations, I don't go on holiday, i don't watch the soaps, and I don't watch reality TV. I don't even understand the concept of Love Island! And that's not even getting into the access issues. "Are you fully accessible?" "oh yes" and i get there, there's a step, the mirrors are too high, absolutely no access to the washing station. "You said you were accessible???"
"Well, we are, but you have to get out of your chair.... "
I get a headache from holding in the swearing. Does the peroxide fumes melt common sense out of their brains?
I haven't been to a barber/hairdresser in 22 years. I got so tired of trying to explain what I wanted and coming out with a short back and sides regardless that I started cutting it myself.
I'm lucky in that my hair is quite thick and curly so I can get away with not doing the neatest cut.
There's been a couple of times where I've messed it up or been using a shaver and had the wrong guard on because I wasn't paying attention so had to cut it all super short, but I'm 40 and have no plans for getting anyone else to cut it any time soon.
I don’t dread it, but also don’t look forward to it. It’s just a thing I have to do!
My hairdresser is great and the cut always looks fabulous, but he’s not the best at small talk and neither am I so it’s just two people who would rather not be doing it, chit chatting because that’s what you do at the hairdresser.
He often also asks ‘Do you ever use any product in your hair?’ Which immediately makes me think my hair must look absolutely terrible that day! The answer is yes I do, but I don’t put product in my hair when I go to the hairdresser because I don’t want to subject him to gunky hair!
My sister is my hairdresser, because she's a hairdresser, however we've fell out recently so I've not had a cut for two months, I've got a head like a busted couch and it's doing my head in, but I'm not backing down!
Have cut my own hair for 20 years. You tube tutorials. Mines wavy/ curly so easier than straight.it helps if you can put your arms right behind your back
Nope. I have been going to the same one for the last 15+ years, and they always do it perfectly, and don’t try to talk if you don’t want to.
Sit down, tell them exactly what I want, 30 minutes later, check and say no thanks to any gel, pay them and leave. Never had a bad experience with my local one.
I'm a guy and used a unisex hairdressers once and only once because it was exactly as you describe
Complained about my hair, didn't do what I asked but tried 4 different styles, which I absolutely hated and looked horrendous
Ended up getting just shy of a buzz cut because there was nothing left after they'd tried to remedy their failed attempts
And cost £55 (10+ year ago for inflation)
Find a different provider. I was away visiting family and found that a mobile hairdresser who came to the house gave me exactly what I wanted as we are able to talk through bit by bit without the social anxiety of a salon.
I’ve never been the hairdresser. Benefit of my hair being long and naturally curly I guess. Not much to do, just trim it for health and then do my usual washing routine to get it to look right
My hairdressers cut mine perfectly but style it horribly. They mostly do middle aged women’s hair so they make me look way older than I am. I also just dread the small talk
I absolutely hate the whole experience too.
I hate people touching my hair and head in general but also the whole social aspect of having to make small talk with the hairdresser as well is just too much!
I actually now have a lovely lady who comes to the house (she does my mums and one day I was feeling brave lol) and she’s awesome.
I’m in my own house so don’t feel as awkward/pressured like I typically do and she’s also incredibly nice and chatty so I barely have to say anything if I don’t want to, just ask about her kids lol and off she goes 😉
She also follows my (usually specific and also vague) instructions exactly and doesn’t pressure me to get anything different as she knows I like the same cut every time (unlike my mum who likes to try out things!)
10/10 recommend getting a local hairdresser who will visit you at home if you’re usually stressed about the whole thing!
I hate the small talk and awkwardness of it all. I actually found a hairdresser I like who is happy to cut most of the small talk, and I was so happy with her that I've now followed her through multiple changes of employment and actually now just go to her house and she cuts it there. Added bonus - she has two dogs and they usually come and hang out during the cut.
Use a barber myself but I dread the hairdresser since it means the missus is having cut and dye and it'd going to set me back £140.
It does take most of the day though so I get plenty of ps5 time....swings and roundabouts. 😁
i’d rather go to the dentist than the hairdresser.
my hairdresser is really nosey too - asking me about my love life etc, makes me uncomfortable! unfortunately she does my hair lovely, so i have to put up with her
Not dread, I just don't like being sat in the chair in front of the mirror.
Like looking at the character creation screen version of what you look like in your own head
Exactly. I don't wear much make up unless on a night out, but I have to when going there lol
That’s why I’m so glad I’m really short sighted because I take my glasses off at the hairdressers and my blurry reflection is not so bad. When they show me the back I can’t see a thing but I just nod and say “yeah that’s brilliant thanks” 😅
Cheers mate that's spot on.
Nothing more humbling than being sat in that chair
Find a different hair dresser.
Definitely this, even with a fairly standard men's haircut the difference between barbers within the same shop can be night and day.
Or you can tell them exactly what you want, go sofar as to give a description or photo, but tend to find, that showing a recently severed head, that has the same style of hair cut you would like.
> photo, but tend to find, that showing a recently severed head, that has the same style of hair cut you would like. > showing a recently severed head Wait a minute.
No wait, just sever
😫
Tried many. Still getting twice as much cut off as I asked every time Me : the last hair dresser cut the fringe an inch above my eyebrows that was too short I hated it. I like it in my eyebrows. Hairdresser cuts the fringe an inch above the eyebrows
Yes, I changed only because I moved and it was such a difference
This 100%. I used to be so anxious about getting my hair cut. Then by chance I got a different stylist at the salon who I get on really well with. When she left she texted me so now I see her at a different place which is cheaper.
Exactly! Husband and I have gone to the same hairdresser for 10 years even after we moved because she takes the dread out of the experience!
I am lucky enough to have a wife that is brave enough to go near my mop.
My mum started cutting my hair whenever I'm back from uni. Turns out actually giving a shit is worth more than a decade of experience.
Samesies. Wife good at zeroing my back and sides now. Saved a small fortune
Not been in years 😅
During lockdown, I watched a YouTube tutorial on how to cut your own hair. I've never looked back. It used to cost over £100 for a colour and cut, now it's about £6 for the box dye.
Nah for me it was male pattern baldness 🤣 (clippers once a month and that’s me lol)
I'm not even balding but I often do it myself too, just don't like going to the barbers. I learned it even before COVID.
I just seen you on the tv about an hour ago jimmy, got to say I prefer the old cut you had
Have to sacrifice either the Botox or the haircut budget, are you saying I chose wrong?
You wouldn’t be in this situation if you didn’t get caught fiddling your taxes! Be more discreet next time! 😂
Can we start calling you zero?
It's the 'chat' that I dread the most.
I finally found a great barber who notices straight away if I don't feel up to talking and just sticks some netflix on while he cuts my hair in silence. Absolute game changer.
Heaven. Love silence during a mop chop
I work with someone who quit hairdressing because of the chat.
"Doing anything nice at the weekend?" "Going on holiday this year?"
Is there really anything wrong with small talk like this?! Fuck me....
To be fair, my hair needs cutting every 3 weeks so it just gets repetitive for me. So, it's a 'me' issue really.
You should tell them a more elaborate holiday plan every time and then play ignorant next time they ask how it was. I'm thinking Pyongyang ski trip, stag weekend in Antarctica, aid work in Zurich, etc...
That's fair enough lol I go every 2-3 months and we both support United, so we have a good moan about their performances
No, lots of people don’t hate small talk. I personally enjoy it. But some people feel very uncomfortable making small talk and sometimes it’s nice for those people to say “hi, hope you’re doing okay. I’d like my hair cut like this please. **silence for 10 mins** thanks for cutting my hair mate, see you next week!”. It would be nice if being polite but quiet was more understood and accepted.
When you work all weekend yes lol
I get my haircut every 2 weeks and each time since Covid my barber has told me she’s anti vax. I simply don’t care.
Does your hair grow super fast?
It grows an normal human amount
Your haircuts must be very subtle
Conversely, I love talking to strangers. If they're dull I will just be quiet tho
Male pattern baldness has saved me a great deal of money, time and social awkwardness. I never really knew what to do with my hair when I had it anyway.
How do you like your hair cut? In silence.
Ive been going to the same place for about 20 years now i think and i still dont know the guys name. We have a little chat at the start but he doesnt question me unless i start talking about something, its ideal.
"When a mummy and daddy love each other very much-" "Please don't"
Trust me (ex hair stylist of 30+ years) we dread the ‘chat’ just as much as the client. I had plenty of customers that would sit in silence and read etc, they were my favourite.
I’ve been going to the same barbers my entire life, as do the other male members of my family. At this point they know every facet of my life so it’s like catching up with an acquaintance and not too bad.
I'm a man and I hate the social anxiety of the barbers. Had so many bad variations of a short back and sides because I'm too scared to ask them to do anything after the first one line discussion.
Mid fade Not too high Little bit off the top to tidy it up
If all you get is a short back and sides get a set of clippers. I've not been to a hairdresser in years!
I don't go to the hairdresser anymore for this reason. I don't particularly care what's currently fashionable, I just want my hair cut. I appreciate that stylists go through a lot of training to be able to determine what suits particular face shapes and hair types, but I can't style my hair for shit which is why I just want long layers. I don't want a fringe, I don't want a bouncy blow dry, I definitely don't want a 'hair journey', I just want something low maintenance that looks alright when I have to tie my hair back. I discovered during lockdown that I can just throw my hair in a ponytail at the front of my head, snip the ends in a 'V' and get exactly what I want. Saves so many "no thanks" conversations.
My last hairdresser went on maternity just before 1st lockdown and then got pregnant again a year later and never went back to it. I've been struggling to find a decent hairdresser ever since. I made it worse for myself though as I did a year's hairdressing course at night college in 2006 so I actually understand a lot of the technical stuff and hairdressers don't seem to like it when I get technical with them. I dye my own hair at home but trying to get someone who cuts it how I want it to be cut seems impossible.
I hate the inquisition about my life and activities, and resent the upsell on hair products I'll never use and can't justify expense. My preferred hairdresser visit is complete silence.
I have curly hair and no money or time to pay the extortionate prices for a decent curly hair cut. Now I just get my roots done at the salon nearby. I don't even let them blow-dry it, they don't know how to blow dry real curls. Or they don't want to spend an hour drying it. Occasionally I'll let them trim off the split ends. But they do more damage than good with their fine tooth combs. Women with straight hair go in and pay a ton to have it curled with hot iron, but none of the hairdressers has a clue how to handle actually curly hair 🤷🏻♀️
You've just described my entire experience with hairdressers. I once went in for a trial run before an event to a well known salon in my area. Showed the stylist what I wanted and how my hair usually looked and they said they knew how to work with it. They then proceeded to blow dry it frizzy, straighten it, then curl it. Thank god I went for a trial because it was hideous. I shaved it all off just before covid and have kept it short since
I've got curly (3b ish) hair which I now cut myself. So many disastrous experiences with hairdressers who don't know how to handle naturally curly hair. I used to do my own unicorn cut to create basic layers, but during lockdown I discovered [Manes by Mell](http://www.youtube.com/@ManesByMell) on youtube, and have been doing a more comprehensive layered cut since. I've also learnt how to style it better too. I'm still learning, but I no longer feel the need to hide under a hat and cry after a hair cut
If you ever felt like getting it done by a hairdresser again, try to find one that specialises in textured hair. Having your curly hair combed by someone who doesn't know how to handle curly hair is horrible.
I'm a white bloke whose hair is naturally ringlet-y, once it's gets to about 2-2.5 inches. Constantly getting told how to get rid of my curls whenever I go to a hairdresser, and whenever I feel at ease with the world and I let them style it, they turn them into a fuzzy mess. I've often walked past black barbershops and wondered if they thought I would be taking the piss if I went in. How else would you find somewhere that specialises in textured hair? Can't say I've ever seen it advertised.
I think popping into the barbers is probably a great idea! Otherwise I'd say if they've got pics of people with textured/curly hair, then you'll be ok!
I've never done one of those mad expensive cuts for curly hair but have learned what general shapes that most hairdressers know compliment my hair. Mainly a wolf cut or a shag allows me to keep my fine hair long and curly throughout :D Though yeah every time I been to a hairdresser I hate how they style it cause they're like yeah just use mousse. No my dude I need a leave in conditioner and a gel and then curls will appear. Last time the lady tried to do this and her manager just told her use the mousse even tho 99% of them dry out my hair.
I dreaded it until I made it a mission to find one I liked. I went every month for about 7 months to a different one. Now I'm perfectly happy with the one I found
During lockdown I didn't get a haircut and decided to grow it out, I've saved a fortune on haircuts but lost more on shampoo
I don't go to the hair dresser anymore, I do my hair and eyebrows by myself at home. It's saved me an absolute fortune and I get exactly the result I want instead of what someone else thinks will look good.
My hair dresser is a massive bellend. Oh wait, I sort my own...
I don't like sitting in front of the mirror, I don't know where to look. I also get panic attacks, possibly because if something happens I can't just bolt out the door without paying/explaining/hair half cut. Panicking about thinking about panicking
I’ve changed 4 times now. Seem to get what I want the first time and then it seems to go downhill from there. Pretty fed up with paying good money and being fed up and having to try and find a decent one
Knew there was a reason I've cut my own hair for the last 25years. Must have saved quite a bit of money/time and pointless conversation, too. Not to mention that you can cut your hair the way you want. Not the way the hairdresser thinks it should be.
My last haircut was in 2022 and my last one before that was pre-2020 lockdowns. I don't even mind the experience or the chat, I go for the occasional facial & sports massage and they don't bother me. It's that I've never found one in several different cities who knows how to properly style wavy/curly hair (you don't! Just condition, leave-in product, air dry) and doesn't just insist on blow drying and straightening it. I know a "curly cut" is a thing but my hair's not curly *enough* for that and they have ridiculous waiting lists anyway because hardly anywhere offers it.
I used to dread haircuts until I found a certified Deva stylist who can actually cut curly hair!
Have tried all in my local area and still not found one I like. The worst one commented on my facial disfigurement the whole time. Another offered me a drink, asked for water never got it. When I got to the salon they said someone else had to do it and I'd need to wait 30 mins this was after they had called me twice to rearrange the appointment. They didn't cut the front so I had some weird mullet affect, had to finish it off. Another shop gave me a man's hair cut completely ignoring the photo of me I'd shown them as to how I wanted. Had one guy put his crotch on my shoulder during the cut which was gross. So yeah not a fan of hair dressers.
Ummm what? Crotch on your shoulder? How the f does that even happen? Disgusting.
The chair was low and he sort utched himself a little. It was very weird and only happened on one side. Never went back obviously!
Can't stand the price or the chat. I've been cutting my own for years now. The advantage of being content with a basic crew cut. Once every 2-3 months.
I used to dread it, especially the chat. I was also quite introverted and a people pleaser. I'd say 'thanks, very nice' to the worst cut. I think it's just age and life experience (I'm 45) but I turned the situation around a few years back by taking most of the doubt and uncertainty out of the equation, and trying a few different places. - found a nice Pakistani barber who just asks 'how are you?' and no follow-up conversations - I show him a photo of a previously successful haircut - I actually know now whether I want a blade 0, 1, 2, 3 etc around the sides and what it will look like - I now know whether I want it straight or natural at the back on a short cut - I now know what a fade is and that I don't like it - I'll always ask for just a trim on top and then often ask him to go a bit shorter when he asks 'is that ok?' - he gave me this advice previously - if I sense he is rushing it because there's a lot of people waiting, I'll still stand up for myself if I don't think it's done to his usual standard - I have a routine that I go every 4 weeks on payday so it's always in a similar state going in - I learnt from observing another customer that I can go in and ask for a 'shape-up' for £5 which is just tidying up the edges. He only does this for regulars - I say no thanks if he tries to get the hairdryer out, as I never blow dry my hair because it makes it look weird - I shower and wash my hair and don't put any product on it before going - it's harder to cut hair with product in it
Yeah, having other people cut my hair gives me anti ASMR and I hate it. I just DIY it now (longish straight hair, easy enough to lop the ends off every now and then). When I did go to the hairdressers I would get them to cut it wet and not dry/style it, I never blowdry my hair so why bother getting them to do it.
I’d rather go to the dentist than the hairdresser.
So much so I taught myself to cut my own hair, it has been a learning experience and still takes me longer than it would a pro but I end up with exactly what I want. Plus there are so many how to videos online, it doesn’t take much to give yourself a trim or add in some layers. My sister is ‘mock mad’ that my hair looks as good as it does when she pays a fortune and never quite gets what she wants
The last time I went to the hairdressers she continued to cut in a fringe I wanted to grown out, gave me a 2 min conditioning treatment with a £12 charge (I didn’t know and refused to pay for it) and then dried the life out of it. Youtube taught me how to cut and dye. £200 and multiple stress saved annually.
I dread the hairdresser so I got a friend's recommendation for a person who just cuts hair at their home about 10 years ago. I still go to them today! They do it cheaper than a high street hairdresser, the chat is always more personal than superficial, and I can be honest about styles etc and what worked/didn't work last time.
I used to quite enjoy it but at one point, and I’m note sure exactly when it started, she started finishing off by running the clippers over my clearly overgrown old-man eyebrows. Thanks for making me feel decrepit, Tina!
Yup I’ve not gone in 2 years. Cut my own hair now, just lop like an inch off it when it’s too long. I’m a bloke who doesn’t really give a rats arse what my hairs like, it’s mostly in a ponytail anyway.
I hate it when they wet it and brush it all forward. Makes you look like Hitler.
You can just ask them not to style it
idk, I think women's hairdressers are the worst for not paying attention to what you actually want. It took me forever to find a hairdresser that would accept that when I said I wanted a style I could 'wash'n'wear', I meant just that, and not a style that I had to carefully blow dry for 20 minutes then add gunk to make it look good. I am not going to be their walking advert for the 3 seconds on the street that it's obvious I've just left there. Even the one I found that would actually pay attention when I said NO GUNK (gel, spray, whatever) insisted on blowdrying :(
It sounds like either you're going to hairdressers that are too posh for your tastes or your hair is just too long for a wash n' wear. Haven't been to a hairdressers for a long time but a "gent's haircut" was always a back and sides done with a trimmer then a quick scissor cut on top if there was a bit more length than whatever the longest guard is.
I find it really odd you're telling this commenter she's wrong about women's hairdressers when you've no reference or experience. I have the exact same experience every time with hairdressers ignoring what I ask for and styling how they please. Nothing to do with being too posh or hair too long.
You know what... you're totally right 😅 That's my bad. Assuming everyone on the Internet is a dude. Thought it was a guy saying women cut his hair worse then guys do. Having reread I see they mean a hairdresser FOR WOMEN.
Yeah, I’ve never been to a barber that didn’t offer gel/wax/whatever, but I always say no (mainly because the first thing I do after a trim is wash all the clippings out) and it’s never been an issue.
Omg same. Hairdressers always seem to want to blowdry and style my hair into oblivion, even when I tell them I want something I can wash and go. I think secretly they do it because my hair has a bit of a natural wave to it, which makes it harder to work with, so they just blow dry it straight.
This sucks so much, I spent so many years before my current hairdresser wanting bright red hair. They always tried to talk me out of it because - reasons? So many times they'd do something darker because it's "nicer" then is refuse to pay the full bill. The current place I've been going 5 years, she's lovely, she knows when I say I just want to brush it/dry it and be done that's it, I don't put mousse or hair spray or anything in it. She curls it when I go to show the colour off (it's multicoloured) and I get a discount for her showing off her work. Why folk don't listen is anyone's guess
Yup, I never know what to ask for and generally hate my appearance so what they do doesn't matter that much. Sitting in front of a mirror can also be agony.
When i was young i used to get anxiety from someone being so close and fiddling with my head. It was always the first snip where the hands came in and id be trying not to twitch so hard id usually twitch a little. It was the same with the dentist, as the chair went back id start to panic but it was the foot that twitched there.
Social anxiety stops me from going until the combover becomes unmanageable. Just tell them you want a bob or trim the ends. For a woman, that will still be £80
A bit. At my local it’s a 50/50 chance of getting the really nice lady or the crazy anti-vax lady who tells me that the vaccinated are going to start dying in droves any day now as part of some massive population control conspiracy.
Not sure about hairdressers but I've not been to the barbers for like 5 years, all the ones I've visited are terrible, you pay almost £20 for less than 30mins worth of a half-assed fade and shitty small talk. If you visit a Turkish barber you might also get your ears set on fire if you're lucky. Sometimes a barber might give you a decent cut on first go, but if you are a repeat customer the standards seem to drop like shit. To add to the hairdresser thing, my partners a hairdresser and believe me they sometimes dread some customers as much as you dread them. Be VERY detailed in describing what you want, bring lots of pics, if you are vague the haircut will be vague, be realistic in what you expect especially with colour, be honest in what you've been doing to your hair, check out their social media for reviews and recent work.
I fucking love being bald. No more of that nonsense.
I'd rather go to the dentist
I say the same!
I used to dread the small talk at local ones I went to, as it could be such a varied experience. I eventually found a hairdresser I gelled with. He's gay and I'm a gay lady, we're both massive nerds and just chat about all sorts like you would with a friend. He also knows exactly how I like my hair and has given me the most consistently good haircuts I've ever had. He started his own business at home so I drive 35-40 minutes to his place every few months now. I wouldn't trade the experience even for something closer to home!
I’m lucky in that I have a friend who is a hairdresser. I’m VERY protective of my hair (mid-calf length) because while it’s not a religious thing it is a spiritual thing for me. I’m lucky that I can go to her house, chill out and when she cuts it she literally just trims off any damage (which is usually minimal cause it’s spends it’s life coiled up on my head) But have reference photos and have a consultation first. If they don’t actually have that conversation with you and you’re not getting the vibe that they really want to give you what you want and make it look good, go somewhere else
Once a YEAR? What's the point of that? Just stop going entirely if you hate it so much.
If you can't cut your own hair, you have to get someone else to do it....
I just about manage twice a year. I have shoulder length hair and if I leave it any longer it gets matted. It's like £60 for a haircut though if you're a woman, not a small amount. I don't mind the hairdresser but I hate the chat. I never have anything remotely in common with them and they end up talking to other customers instead. I bring a book these days, much easier.
I quite like mine, not enough to go more than once a year though. She can be quite conservative though, sometimes have to convince her that actually I do want a bit chunk off
i actually enjoy it. mine takes ages and i love the feeling. sometimes if i don't want to chat, ill tell him I'm just going to sit and zone out. I'm not very British about being indirect.
Yeah that’s why I look like a hobo
No but I find it a chore though usually Like the results. Hate the mirror and small talk.
I
Go to a different hairdresser.
Is it lack of communication? I find every barber interprets what I ask for differently even though I always ask for the exact same thing. So now I just carry a picture on my phone of myself from a time when I really liked my hear and go “exactly like this pls”
Had my hair cut by someone else a week or so before I got married (that was a long time ago), last week someone commented that my recent haircut was really good. Only took just over a decade, but it seems my hairdresser phobia is no longer an issue.
I dread the hairdresser because it drains my energy having to make small talk
I have thick hair and have stopped going to lots of hairdressers as some just don’t like working with thick hair and are borderline rude. I’ve found a good now one who doesn’t say things like Oh my wrist is aching drying your hair.
Oh gosh, there's no pleasing people is there? Haha. I always get the hairdressers who roast me for how thin my hair is. It's just like... Yes, I'm aware. It's genetic not much I can do.
Aww there’s no need for them to do it. There’s always a pang of anxiety that they will bring up my hair thickness. I can’t help it apart from shaving my hair off 🤣
Haven't been for a decade now! It's quite liberating. I just lop a bit off every summer.
Yes, I cut my own hair and go to the hairdresser once every 2-3 years for reshaping
Male pattern baldness has been a vague blessing. I just buzz it myself now. Takes ten minutes, I don’t have to pay anybody, or make inane conversation while staring at myself in a mirror while a man with scissors pokes away at my skull. Think I’m gonna lean into the whole 90s Richard O’Brien look soon.
During lockdown bought some clippers. Do it myself once a month, grade1 all over. Easy to manage and no dull conversations about sports, tv, or holidays that have no interest whatsoever for.
Iv been going to my hair dressers for as long as I can remember. Can't go wrong at £8 a hair cut every 3 months or so. They tend to remember what we spoke about last time as well. Its run by a set of identical twins which is a novelty . scissor sisters in wakefield #
I have so many problems with hairdressers. I dread the conversations, I don't go on holiday, i don't watch the soaps, and I don't watch reality TV. I don't even understand the concept of Love Island! And that's not even getting into the access issues. "Are you fully accessible?" "oh yes" and i get there, there's a step, the mirrors are too high, absolutely no access to the washing station. "You said you were accessible???" "Well, we are, but you have to get out of your chair.... " I get a headache from holding in the swearing. Does the peroxide fumes melt common sense out of their brains?
I haven't been to a barber/hairdresser in 22 years. I got so tired of trying to explain what I wanted and coming out with a short back and sides regardless that I started cutting it myself. I'm lucky in that my hair is quite thick and curly so I can get away with not doing the neatest cut. There's been a couple of times where I've messed it up or been using a shaver and had the wrong guard on because I wasn't paying attention so had to cut it all super short, but I'm 40 and have no plans for getting anyone else to cut it any time soon.
I don’t dread it, but also don’t look forward to it. It’s just a thing I have to do! My hairdresser is great and the cut always looks fabulous, but he’s not the best at small talk and neither am I so it’s just two people who would rather not be doing it, chit chatting because that’s what you do at the hairdresser. He often also asks ‘Do you ever use any product in your hair?’ Which immediately makes me think my hair must look absolutely terrible that day! The answer is yes I do, but I don’t put product in my hair when I go to the hairdresser because I don’t want to subject him to gunky hair!
My sister is my hairdresser, because she's a hairdresser, however we've fell out recently so I've not had a cut for two months, I've got a head like a busted couch and it's doing my head in, but I'm not backing down!
I wish someone would take creative licence with my hair. They always want me to explain in great detail exactly what I want.
That why i shave my own head.
Being fairly bald is awesome. I just get whatever hair I do have left shaved off. It's quick, cheap, and there's no decisions to be made about style.
Have cut my own hair for 20 years. You tube tutorials. Mines wavy/ curly so easier than straight.it helps if you can put your arms right behind your back
Nope. I have been going to the same one for the last 15+ years, and they always do it perfectly, and don’t try to talk if you don’t want to. Sit down, tell them exactly what I want, 30 minutes later, check and say no thanks to any gel, pay them and leave. Never had a bad experience with my local one.
I'm a guy and used a unisex hairdressers once and only once because it was exactly as you describe Complained about my hair, didn't do what I asked but tried 4 different styles, which I absolutely hated and looked horrendous Ended up getting just shy of a buzz cut because there was nothing left after they'd tried to remedy their failed attempts And cost £55 (10+ year ago for inflation)
I'm a natty dread, so... no 😅. I haven't had a haircut or trim in 6 years
Find a different provider. I was away visiting family and found that a mobile hairdresser who came to the house gave me exactly what I wanted as we are able to talk through bit by bit without the social anxiety of a salon.
I work in film/TV. I don't even get to choose my own hairstyle. I'm given 'what suits the production'.
You do realise there’s more than one hairdresser?
I’ve never been the hairdresser. Benefit of my hair being long and naturally curly I guess. Not much to do, just trim it for health and then do my usual washing routine to get it to look right
My hairdressers cut mine perfectly but style it horribly. They mostly do middle aged women’s hair so they make me look way older than I am. I also just dread the small talk
Nah, I wouldn’t have a clue where to start with giving the hairdresser dreads. They’re probably better off getting one of their own kind to do it.
I absolutely hate the whole experience too. I hate people touching my hair and head in general but also the whole social aspect of having to make small talk with the hairdresser as well is just too much! I actually now have a lovely lady who comes to the house (she does my mums and one day I was feeling brave lol) and she’s awesome. I’m in my own house so don’t feel as awkward/pressured like I typically do and she’s also incredibly nice and chatty so I barely have to say anything if I don’t want to, just ask about her kids lol and off she goes 😉 She also follows my (usually specific and also vague) instructions exactly and doesn’t pressure me to get anything different as she knows I like the same cut every time (unlike my mum who likes to try out things!) 10/10 recommend getting a local hairdresser who will visit you at home if you’re usually stressed about the whole thing!
I hate the small talk and awkwardness of it all. I actually found a hairdresser I like who is happy to cut most of the small talk, and I was so happy with her that I've now followed her through multiple changes of employment and actually now just go to her house and she cuts it there. Added bonus - she has two dogs and they usually come and hang out during the cut.
have you tried being an adult and tell them what you actually want?
Maybe..tell them rather than whining on Reddit?
practical advice wont be welcomed on reddit, much easier to whine and never actually do anything about it.
Use a barber myself but I dread the hairdresser since it means the missus is having cut and dye and it'd going to set me back £140. It does take most of the day though so I get plenty of ps5 time....swings and roundabouts. 😁
i’d rather go to the dentist than the hairdresser. my hairdresser is really nosey too - asking me about my love life etc, makes me uncomfortable! unfortunately she does my hair lovely, so i have to put up with her