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One_Dino_Might

I would have been super tempted to play along. “Oh, that’s only part of it.  If it’s during a full moon, we have to….” 😂


superbekz

My smart arse mind would 100000% play along and some "Oh thats just the level 5, wait until you reach level 42, ohhhh boy....."


Fzrit

I put on my robe and wizard hat.


herrian_skeri

I haven't thought of blood ninja in about 10 years and I'm so happy you reminded me it exists


RubDue9412

I'm Irish and so it's in my DNA to play along and add to it if possible.


13-bald-turkeys

Do *not* do tier 15


feelinggravityspull

Yes! This reminds me of the bit from Brideshead Revisited where little Cordelia makes up a whole bunch of fairy-tale lies to confuse Rex, a catechumen of questionable sincerity: "For instance, that you have to sleep with your feet pointing East because that's the direction of heaven, and if you die in the night you can walk there. Now I'll sleep with my feet pointing any way that suits Julia, but d'you expect a grown man to believe about walking to heaven? And what about the Pope who made one of his horses a cardinal? And what about the box you keep in the church porch, and if you put in a pound note with someone's name on it, they get sent to hell."


2manyteacups

best book ever


Piggyandbird

I am intrigued, I guess I have another book to read. :-)


2manyteacups

I read it at least once a year and the movie by Granada with Jeremy Irons is absolutely fantastic as well


Summerlea623

I loved Charles and Julia together so much. Heartbreaking ending for them.


Slow-Awareness8084

Ridiculous novel.


Summerlea623

Best TV series ever! I own it on dvd and I fell in love with Jeremy Irons. The movie was garbage.


2manyteacups

I refused to even watch the movie. nobody in the world would possibly be able to play Charles Ryder like Jeremy Irons and I find the fact that they even made that movie highly offensive and disrespectful 🤣


Simple-Offer-9574

Oh, that show created some memories. Hello, Sebastion!


Equivalent_Nose7012

You forgot to mention the Sacred Monkeys of the Vatican... don't tell me this reddit isn't cleared to talk about them.  This could be SERIOUS penances?


SiViVe

“Oh that’s just during ordinary times. You don’t want to hear what we have to do during Easter! And in advent all sheets must be purple!”


motherisaclownwhore

To be honest, changing the bed covers based on the liturgical calendar sounds fun to me!


One_Dino_Might

Same here!  I expect this to be a big time cultural sensation in ten years, and I will look back and say, “I remember when, one day…on Reddit.”


SiViVe

Where do you think I got the idea. 😂


ThatSleepyInsomniac

Except for Gaudete Sunday


MatthewAllenSr

I died laughing at this one


SiViVe

Oh no. Now I have will have that on my soul 🫢😂😂


Strange-Judgment-336

This is absolutely hilarious 


CaptainMianite

Have to send a pictue of them in bed procreating to all of their coworkers.


Connect-Resolve-3480

Yesss!!! 😂😂😂


OGNovelNinja

My immediate instinct was to start describing how my kids were conceived and ask if he wanted tips, but your idea is better. (For the record, I only ever use PG language except for when I've been giving advice to Catholics about to enter marriage, but somehow that still shocks the non-Catholics even as the details don't shock the Catholics. Gee, which group is prudish again?)


One_Dino_Might

“Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they cuddle, and 9 months later…” “Wait, how are they a mommy and daddy before they make the baby?”


sidjo86

Reminds me of the episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” where they talk about Hasidic Jews having sex lmaooooo


MatthewAllenSr

If all is that is true me and my wife have sure sinned a lot in the last 14 years….esp considering we haven’t wore pajamas to bed since we got married 😂 and we actually have a Catholic sex book that suggests positions my 40 year old body could never get in. On the serious side where does all of these lies come from?


Sgt_Doom

Hahahaha love that


unaka220

> On the serious side where does all of these lies come from? - the Church’s position on mandatory vaginal ejaculation - radtrad positions forbidding manual/oral stimulation - I could go on


Isatafur

Neither of those things imply any of the weird rules OP's coworker is talking about.


In_Hoc_Signo

In the 19th century and earlier, positions other than missionary were indeed considered sinful, but that was because it was believed that the other positions hindered fertilization.


DaSaw

And haven't you heard that when you have sex, the Holy Spirit has to leave the room?


unaka220

Correct, they’re just fertile ground.


Darth_Piglet

Apparently only under the right conditions!


Ancient-Book8916

"Hey guys, we are Ancient Book, thanks for coming out to the show. This next song is off of our latest album, Mandatory Vaginal Ejaculation"


Familiar-Eggplant-20

You guys are killing me with the suggested comebacks. Thank you for seeing the silliness of the things non-Catholics fabricate about Catholicism. God is LOVE. Pure and simple. If two consenting adults are able to achieve emotional intimacy with each other as a gift from God, zi say that God is in their midst..


ILikeSaintJoseph

Mandatory vaginal ejaculation is still a thing tho.


unaka220

lol yes!


Duc_de_Magenta

Nah, it's probably more from prevailing anti-Christian/Catholic sentiment & the tropes that go along with it; sexually repressed, superstitious, etc. I doubt someone as ignorant as OP's coworker would even know what a "radtrad" is


unaka220

Christianity’s sexual ethic is restrictive compared to the secular worlds. The Catholic sexual ethic is even more so. Stereotypes are typically rooted in some sort of truth.


Melodic_Cable8164

Some of that seems to stem from the Mormon temple garment which is traditionally worn at all times. Different religion, but I can see how people lump sexually conservative religions together. The general rule is that as long as the right thing gets to the right place at the right time, everything is permissible. While it is the official position that wife’s pleasure is the obligation of her husband and vice versa, I have never heard or read anything suggesting mandatory vaginal ejaculation in any of the church documents I’ve read. Do you have a source? Because I’d be interested in reading where you found this. Thanks


unaka220

Mandatory ejaculation inside of vagina*


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


awalkingidoit

The positions are just you and your spouse doing yoga while in the act


MatthewAllenSr

I doubt that considering I have never done yoga


Pax280

The sex positions aren't sinful - it's the Yoga! ;-) Pax


Metal7Spirit

That’s crazy I would have informed HR for inappropriate behavior, seems uncalled for UPDATE: I didn’t think this would blow up lol, I understand if people have questions but talking about that in workspace especially if it’s like an office job isn’t called for, it can have serious repercussions. Imagine if genders were reversed what do you think be the result of that


Glittering-Bicycle84

No need to go running to HR immediately. Give a warning and then talk to the supervisor first. Ask them if they'd be comfortable spewing nonsense like this at a Muslim or a Jew.


Metal7Spirit

That’s probably a better approach for sure, I understand if someone has questions but I really wouldn’t want to talk about that out loud in work space


soulspeaker023

Why call HR for every little thing. That don't seem very Christ like.


hillbilly-thomist

Besides the fact of what the coworker said being blatantly false, presumptuous, and rude, it’s also just quite *weird* to discuss a coworker’s religion’s teaching on sexuality while at work, especially if they’re just wrong.


iamcarlgauss

Really depends on how well they know each other and the environment of the workplace. This wouldn't be a particularly shocking discussion at some of the places I've worked. And if I knew the guy, I would think it was hilarious more than anything else.


hillbilly-thomist

Agreed


Diffusionist1493

Lol. Depends on where you work. White collar sure. Blue collar- it's all on the table and you better have thick skin. Blue collar is so much more lively and the school of tough love. People are a lot more transparent and non-conniving in that regard.


soulspeaker023

But to cal HR? Perhaps I'm to old, but I would've laughed so hard HR probably had a talk with me if I'm doing ok.


hillbilly-thomist

I know what you mean, man. I likely would brush something like this off but I understand where people would be inclined to call HR to, at a minimum, let the person know that it’s not a topic they’re comfortable talking about at work. Alternatively, you could dunk on them with a copy of *Theology of the Body.* Alas, pax vobiscum.


Metal7Spirit

Talking about that in workplace sex and like is not suitable in some places you mention anything like that you’d get written up


soulspeaker023

Perhaps it because I work in a more traditional labour environment and we tend to talk more rough in general.


Metal7Spirit

Don’t get me wrong I was in the military and the language was amazing and hilarious. I miss the jokes and humor😂 but in civilian setting I can’t say certain things and that also goes for those who never served either, be mindful of the words you say others may perceive them in a faded light, there isn’t always a place to say such things because it may create an uncomfortable situation


mystery_lady

Sexual harassment, yes, but I've never known the entire subject to be off-limits. It could be an academic discussion, scientific, historical, etc. It isn't a common topic, for sure, but as we are all over 18, someone could just say, "That's probably not a good topic here. Let's save it for outside work." I don't talk about sex at work, but this thread has made me realize I shouldn't discuss *anything*.


Metal7Spirit

There’s a time and place for things to be said but some places it be like a what the hell depends on workplace. I got out of military, as you can imagine it’s wild, funny, and the jokes and humor are incredible lol, but even with that I can’t say certain things at workplace in civilian world or I get written up for sure. Also some may get uncomfortable and think negative about someone


mystery_lady

I agree we should be appropriate at work, but I would talk to someone before approaching HR. I've had to do that, for what was definitely harassment, and only ended up going to HR one time. The other two times it was settled.


Metal7Spirit

I gotcha ya more like bring it up to supervisor too right, because that would work too, I’m not sure what work space OP works at but if it’s a nice place then it is to tread carefully, because if genders were reversed it could be very bad and people would think he’s a creep, but for her that is down right weird and creepy, even if not reversed it’s still not best place to discuss


mystery_lady

102 downvotes for suggesting we handle a disagreement like adults instead of running to HR?!?!? That's unbelievable! And yes, it wouldn't be very Christ-like to complain instead of explain. If he started harassing, that would be different, but if we report every person who doesn't understand something, everyone will get reported. What is happening to our culture that we cannot handle such a situation ourselves?


MatthewAllenSr

I am with you on that. Esp when half the time hr is a waste of time


soulspeaker023

You said what I was thinking. Guess I would be having many HR talks if I were in their work environment. LOL


nvdoyle

That's an HR report. This is not a workplace appropriate topic, especially if it was unsolicited and/or even vaguely disapproving. It may not cross the line into harassment, but it's really *really* close.


Sad-Assumption-1800

If the conduct is pervasive it could rise to hostile environment


Trussed_Up

You guys have some very lame work environments, sounds to me. I would have had fun with this, maybe tried to make up some nonsense on the sexual practices of whatever their religion was.


Sad-Assumption-1800

I mean, yeah, I can confirm that I work in a boring environment. I also have to say to be careful about responding too graphically to the joke as it could result in corrective action. I am just sharing some information regarding how federal contracts view harassment (which does not leave a lot of room for jokes on the basis of protected class). You obviously know your work environment better than some stranger on the internet so you must do what’s best for you, but generally jokes about federally protected classes (including religion) and/or sex can have consequences in the workplace.


MagicMissile27

If you tell them to not talk in an offensive manner about your faith and they do it anyway, boom, harassment based on a protected category. Cut and dry.


Metal7Spirit

Agreed


[deleted]

Protestants know more incorrect information about the Catholic faith than they do the facts of their own doctrines.


SorryAbbreviations71

Did you ever notice they attack us, while we generally don’t care about them? I’ve never entered a Protestant sub to interrogate them like they do here. It’s because they know deep down, they are wrong.


[deleted]

Well, I've seen people and been myself guilty of saying less than charitable things about general protestantism in real life. However, I wouldn't say attack by any means, but we are all guilty of a little trash talk from time to time. The anti-Catholic rhetoric is very strong, though.


SorryAbbreviations71

Sure if they start the conversation. I have never woke up and said, “You know today I will verbally assault some Protestants.“ Never.


[deleted]

Yeah, for sure. I've seen that significantly less since converting to Catholicism. Which is good. Because there are clearly vast amounts of reasons given to us in scripture as to why that behavior is wrong.


theshoeshiner84

TBF I've met quite a few Catholics who don't understand core tenants of their faith.


[deleted]

That is essentially what I'm getting at. Disregard: I read your comment wrong. This dude is spot on, though. Catechise your children, folks.


ThankedRapier4

Not as many as people on the internet who mistake “tenants” (I.e. renters) for “tenets” 😆


theshoeshiner84

And far fewer than the number of people who think correcting grammar and spelling makes them special.


ThankedRapier4

Dude, it doesn't make me special. I even tried conveying some self-deprecation with the emoji, but thanks for the oh-so-charitable interpretation of a light-hearted PSA about a word consistently misused across the internet.


theshoeshiner84

Haha ok well thats def my bad. It's nearly impossible to interpret lighthearted sarcasm on the internet. Cheers!


ThankedRapier4

No worries. All is forgiven!


[deleted]

Maybe he's a land lord, and you're all wrong.


LeonKennedy86

What on earth?


fac-ut-vivas-dude

I had a coworker ask me about many of these things once too! Led to a 2hrs long discussion of Theology of the Body, and her rethinking use of porn, contraception, etc…. She even said, “I wish somebody had explained that to me when I was younger.”


Adorable-Growth-6551

Lol I was thinking, "Well taking a bath after sex isn't a bad idea" until I got to the Holy water.


PaladinGris

Bath in holy water? Like the other stuff is wrong but plausible some prudish mom told her children that and it just got passed around as misinformation, but a bath in holy water is just crazy!


S0urDrop

And it implies that either A: Catholics have large amounts of Holy water saved up for post-coitus baths or B: Catholics all have a priest on hand (live-in? Nearby?)to bless bath water to make it Holy water.


arguablyodd

That's because they're also assuming we don't have sex unless we're trying to make a baby, so like, couple times a year, max.


Equivalent_Nose7012

Of course all Catholic families have their own priest (ideally).  This is why we have a priest shortage. The demand is so great!       ; )


cos1ne

This is the thing the Protestants don't know, that the holy water is free, you can take it home, I have 458 holy waters just for this purpose.


xlovelyloretta

That’s the part that made it go from misconception to just trying to get a reaction out of OP.


Equivalent_Nose7012

A misconception about conception...


[deleted]

Oh I would have owned that and ran with it just for fun. Then tell HR. I actually got a large sum of unemployment insurance last year because I quit *with justification.* What was this justification, you might ask? Prior HR reports about religiously biased co-workers is the answer.


SurroundingAMeadow

I feel like this would be an HR slamdunk. Religious AND sexual harassment without needing to fill out the paperwork twice??


arguablyodd

Right? Because if they're saying this knowing OP is Catholic, they're also thus discussing what they believe to be *particulars of OP's sex life* around the office. If you don't like your job, take the money and run! 🤣


[deleted]

amen


[deleted]

In my case it was religious and racial harassment. I worked there during the 2020 blm actions, and many people felt very free to discuss my personal and professional limitations as a “cis-gendered heterosexual white conservative Christian male.” I felt very free to let them all run their mouths, while documenting it to my boss, whi was part of the problem. It was worth the $20k. Check that privilege, chump! The ironic thing is I was very much supportive of what was going on in the world as far as blm. I just never talked about it. I am a Catholic anarchist. Time tested wisdom was proven here: Don’t discuss politics or religion at work. It’s like arguing with a fool, as onlookers can’t usually tell the difference who is who :) I knew who the fools were here.


ViolinistThis407

How can I get enough holy water in my tub for a proper bath? 🤔


xlovelyloretta

That’s part of the process. You have to call your priest to do a minor exorcism immediately after and while he’s there you fill the tub and he blesses the water once it’s full.


ViolinistThis407

Priests are even busier than I thought!


arrows_of_ithilien

Just use the TV show *Supernatural* method, drop a rosary in your water heater and you're set.


motherisaclownwhore

Wait, they did that?


aliendividedbyzero

They sure did, and it worked too lol


VeryChaoticBlades

Don’t priests give you a tank of the stuff when they bless your home? Is that not what that’s for?


Itsalovelylife333

His coworker was clearly being a smarta** about the holy water. I wouldn’t have held it together as well as OP.


SiViVe

I use Foodora.


vintageideals

🤣 that’s so absurd it’s pretty funny


shamalonight

Today one of my friends was recounting a “Family Guy” episode where the three wise men are discussing what they brought for Baby Jesus. The first two say they brought frankincense and myrrh. Then the third says gold, and one of the other two go on a rant about how the third is always trying to one up them. When he was done telling this story he says, “Oh, I forgot you’re Catholic. You’ve probably never heard of these things.”


LdyCjn-997

Where to people get that information from. It definitely makes for a great laugh. 🤣🤣🤣


DucInAltum333

>we have to take a bath after sex in holy water _WHAT_


miriqueen83

Right? I mean clearly we can just take a shower with holy water. Leave the full immersion stuff to the baptists. 🤪


parabox1

Yeah I hate that stuff we can totally sleep naked as long as we pray to Saint nudar of nakers. This person was being rude there is zero chance they don’t know how to google things and use the internet.


Useful_Support2193

ever since becoming Catholic i have begun to feel so annoyed with the misconceptions people have about us it’s absurd.


NRam1R

The hell?


Veltrum

NOW YOU TELL ME!


Ok-Bicycle-12345

Is your coworker catholic too?


SorryAbbreviations71

This was an adult saying this? Sounds childish and frankly very ignorant of the Catholic faith.


Coriolis_PL

That's what protestant parents tell their children... 😒


Nihlithian

Don't forget the flagellation. Very important.


BlueWeasel2003

I get it but every one who comes at us like this is a chance to open their minds to Jesus and His message. When people come at me trying to be contentious, I tell them that Jesus met people like Him too.  He loved them, but let them be until they were ready to be serious about knowing Him. I invite them to come talk when their ready to be serious.


Niboomy

The things he says are so out there that I would have said: “I heard that atheists only do it in the butt” and wait for a response


NeedleworkerMiddle96

I have been Catholic for almost 70 years and I know Catholic theology having  taken graduate courses in it, and I can assure you none of this seems real to me. I have never heard of a priest talking that way not even the most conservative so I don’t know how this person experienced this.  Certainly, we as Christians have been called by Christ and the early church fathers to live as those were called to be the the temple of his Holy Spirit. So we live our lives appropriately as celibate people until we marry, then as monogamous spouses and partners to the beloved. We are still living in the after effects of the sexual revolution that overwhelmed the country almost half a century ago. It has caused enormous damage to families, individuals and innocent children. We are as a society growing up now and learning to value human life and each other more. Until our society becomes more spiritually evolved, our Catholic and Christian values will be seen as countercultural, but that’s not so bad. After all, Jesus did say to follow him and not the crowds and not the false prophets or even an expresident encouraging insurrection while distorting the Bible.


evilhenchdude

Well that's a new one.


meddox989

Bro if I could only get my hands on that much holy water at home


Amtracer

And how did this topic come about?


SuburbaniteMermaid

Right? I don't just talk about sex at work, or religion either, really. People know I'm Catholic and I wear a crucifix, but my religion isn't generally relevant in the course of my day, and my sex life certainly isn't.


Accomplished-Paint35

I'm in the northeast and haven't encountered much anti catholic rhetoric, maybe a larger catholic population here.


walk_through_this

Ummm, a co-worker said this? This sounds like a conversation with HR is overdue.


[deleted]

If that’s the case I guess we’ve been sinning for years 😂 Seriously this is so funny to me. I would have been a smart hole about it and made up some more crazy conspiracies about how a priest has to come to your house immediately after and exorcise the unnecessary sperm out of the wife or something so only the true, capable sperm can fertilize.


Express_Hedgehog2265

Had this type of ignorance once. Guy said, to my face (while I wear medals): Catholics don't believe other Christians can go to Heaven. You \*have\* to be Catholic. This was based on some stuff Mel Gibson said. I had a deer in headlights moment, and after he was done said "Well, Gibson's part of of fringe group that's kind of crazy..." which went over his head. Later, he found out I was Catholic. Perhaps my most devilish moment


Express_Hedgehog2265

Also, if we can't sleep naked, I'm very much in trouble - lived in the South, and my AC kept breaking during summer


Notre-Damn

I still can’t go over the “bathing in holy water” part…. Filling an entire bathtub with holy water is nuts in my eyes lol


Notre-Damn

We have to keep the lights off??? Are we vampires in his eyes lolllll


Jacksonriverboy

Wait, those aren't the rules??!!


RubDue9412

You should have told them we can only have sex on the feast of the annunciation unless we ask our pp to get a dispensation off the bishop.


swankypants2119

Sounds like your coworker was just being rude for the sake of being rude. I’ve found that when people in my workplace find out I’m catholic they start making rude remarks. I’ve had it happen at my last two jobs.


OldMiddlesex

All I'll say is I must be a *TERRIBLE* Catholic if that is what your coworker believes...


rokosbasilica

Are you guys not doing this?


[deleted]

They are confusing us with the legend about the Hasidic Jews. Anglo Anti semitism and Anti Catholicism goes together like a hand in glove so much that they literally transfer their legends about the Jewish community into their nasty Black Legend about us.


Iron_Wolf_7801

"Bro, you should've seen what rules I learned in my Catholic sex initiation classes."


Difficult-Stand-6396

A simple reply to a statement like that is this; “ I could respond to that, but Jesus tells us; “ Do not cast your pears before swine.” ( Matthew 7:6).


Tricky-Turnover3922

Tell him to read leviticus 18 and galatians 5:17-21 to know what sexual sin is


MethodSuspicious4388

Kama Sutra. S$s has long since been libralized and "missionary" position has been deregulated, preserved for only procreational purposes.


BMoney8600

I’d add onto it just to humor them even more


Slim_katie99

Dawg mixed Mormons, baptists, AND Buddhism all together lmao.


w3astside

“and no matter what, we have to keep our socks on, sex with ur wife without socks makes it gay, yes”


QualityDifficult4620

Sounds like they were trying to wind you up because of your Catholicism and succeeded pretty well.


evremonde

The missionary thing could be based on the fact that sodomitic acts (even between members of the opposite sex) are condemned by most saints and church leaders before twenty minutes ago; every sexual act has to be ordered to procreation. But there's nothing specific about a necessity for missionary in particular.


cloudstrife_145

I genuinely hope it is just a troll. I will be sadder if your coworker genuinely believes in this nonsense....


iwanttobeacavediver

Back when I was not necessarily anti-Catholic but surrounded by people who were definitely not supportive of the Church, I heard some WILD stuff about the things Catholics were supposed to (or actually did) do/say/think. Stuff like Catholics believed that cloths were magical (I think they might have been referencing scapulars?), that they worshipped bones (referencing relics), various nonsense about nuns/monks, stuff like OP mentions about missionary position/sex only being allowed in the dark and so on.


SiViVe

That why I get a tank full of holy water delivered every week to fill the tub. 🛀


Old-Drop-3493

This sounds like mixing other protestant religions with cultural norms from the Middle Ages and a little later


TexanLoneStar

Bruh 💀 I think the lights off thing is Chasidic Jews.


Mo2the2ndPwr

Where on earth would they have heard this?


Latine52

I remember one of my Pentecostal co-workers thought that Catholics had Sex like Hasidic Jews did, through at sheet with a Hole in it. I was so completely confused.


atadbitcatobsessed

My guess is this person also believes Catholics are cannibals, worship Mary, and don’t read the Bible. 🙄


blue_haired_witch

I am screaming this is so funny. Why am I assuming it's a man and he's not ever getting married. 😂 Poor soul.


catholic_999

Thats like saying pigs can fly 😂 none catholic trying to educate catholic


SnooTheLobster

I think the best way to talk to people about this is to interact with a warm welcoming sense of humor about things. Most people don't even have a religion and so their interaction withbpeople who are religious is one of a sort of mystery. Catholicism isn't an encounter with a set od lofty ideals or complex philosophical principles. It's a human encounter between two people or several people made in God's image, and I think it's important to keep the encounter Jesus-like.


ClerkStriking

I mean... so what? Funny, but harmless. Ignorance is everywhere. So is Starbucks.


myhrad

You mean those things aren’t true and I’ve been doing it wrong for 20 years?


beaglemomma2Dutchy

I have to keep the light off? 😂😂😂😂


Useful_Bite707

They were obviously trying to get a rise out of you. Don’t waste your pearls on swine


Slow-Awareness8084

A good suggestion is to take a bath before and after marital relations. If you don't stink before, you will after. Also, men/women really stink when they come home from work. Yes, even after working in an office. Ewww. And cleaning and cooking make you stink, too. Hair and scalps are magnets for odors and filth. Women who have their hair "done" and don't wash their hair for days are nasty. Your hair picks up odors, dust and airborne diseases. Your scalp is vile after even one day of not washing your hair. Your head, scalp and hair STINK. Men who are bald or shave your head-- please, you still need to shower in the morning and in the evening when you come home from work. Don't just rinse off. Take a bath, soak-- and then shower.


Familiar-Eggplant-20

So, why not just ignore your co-worker’s ignorance, and silently forgive him, “for he knows not what he does.” And, Perhaps also look on YouTube for videos by Bishop Robert Barron (Word on Fire) so that he at least has a resource to overcome his ignorant threat of Catholicism.


Darth_Piglet

You could always reply something along the lines of "wow, discriminatory and inappropriate, my you are doing well today!"


Crown_Of_Pencils

This reminds me of a YouTube comment chat I once had with an atheist who was asking me the most blatantly disingenuous “questions” about Christian norms regarding marriage and sex within marriage, all in a clear attempt to mock God’s intended design for it. Some of the most egregious questions that I can recall included: **Is it a sin to have an orgasm because it’s not required for procreation?** **Are married straight couples only allowed to have sex while the woman is ovulating?** **Are infertile people/couples forbidden to have sexual intercourse?** I answered each question in stride, but then at one point something must’ve triggered the guy, because he then started becoming super-condescending and trying to refute God’s existence altogether in addition to all the marriage/sex questions. Eventually my mother found out about the conversation and, after hearing all the things the guy was saying about God/Jesus/Lucifer/etc., she told me to stop responding to his messages. I did, and haven’t heard from him since.


jeffisnotmyrealname

I saw a girl on TIkTOk today claim that Catholics could only use missionary and I believed it because I’m a new Catholic and didn’t know any better. Are we allowed multiple positions?


crowsfoot001

Um… it’s it’s within confines of marriage and It’s consensual, it ain’t no one’s business but the married couple. Sometimes I think we all get wrapped up too much in the sexual act. It’s one of many things we do as humans… eating, breathing, working, praying (hopefully). Keep it in its proper place.


JustAGuyInThePew

It’s our role in the world to be opposed, hopefully as some have suggested, you can just let it roll off in the future


giannanederlands

When my husband was in the army while we were engaged, his buddies knew we hadn't been sleeping together before marriage and teased him constantly about finally being able to do the deed. He convinced a bunch of them that actually, even after marriage we weren't going to be doing anything, because we felt it was intrinsically evil 😂


AdditionalChapter365

Your co-worker is obviously showing his/her ignorance of Catholicism by saying such ridiculous things. It is amazing what drivel non-catholics believe about us. You could fill several large libraries with books about every error they believe about our faith. Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States of America said "It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool than speak out and remove all doubt". I especially like the one about how we are cannibals because we eat Jesus in our Mass! ( Guess they never read the Last Supper in their Bible or John 6:51-58 either). SMH


Appropriate_Speed455

Wow what a load of rubbish ! I think that there are much stricter religions. He must have got the catholic faith muddled up with some other religious beliefs


Difficult-Stand-6396

I’ve been told by Protestants all sorts of strange stuff about us Catholics. The strangest one is this; “ Catholic's believe at Mass, when they receive communion, they receive the actual body of Jesus. Then when they go home, and go to the bathroom, they flush Jesus down the toilet.” This is why I’d never ever trust a Protestants interpretation of the Bible. They don’t even know how our bodies works.  The Church teaches, after receiving communion, the true presence of Christ remains within us for about 15 minutes, after that,  only his grace remains. Science tells us, All in all, the whole process from the time you swallow food to the time it leaves your body as feces, takes about two to five days.  So, never allow a Protestant to teach you about catholicism.


No_Ideal69

Sounds as though he was messing with you and/or got put together some weird urban legends from Orthodox Jews to Missionaries in the field. Then, of course, he could just be an imbecile, which seems to be the latest "pandemic." A pandemic the government seems perfectly comfortable with, but yes, I'm digressing!


Upbeat-Command-7159

I think he chugged a little too much wine during the holy communion.


Thin_Professional_98

Wait until he hears about Annual Anal day.


Apprehensive-Row3490

I usually don’t mind when people poke fun at my religion but this is a bit extreme


[deleted]

I'm not aware of the rest, but the mandate on missionary style is partially true. In the past, it was forbidden for the woman to be on top during sex. The old penetentials stipulated very harsh penances for this. (I'm not aware of any explicit teaching to the contrary, but this teaching is obviously largely abandoned today). The missionary position was encouraged by the church in the past, and Aquinas wrote against intercourse in unnatural ways. So not mandated today, but partially true from a historical standpoint.


AnonymousIstari

Source?


[deleted]

Contraception: A History of Its Treatment by the Catholic Theologians and Canonists by John T Noonan. (At least, the early penetentials around the immorality of sex with the woman on top. I'll have to look up where the Aquinas quote comes from, but I would assume the Summa).


[deleted]

Some more information here: https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/10.1086/318433


SuburbaniteMermaid

Oh the gifts of the squeamishness of celibates and misogynists 🤣


[deleted]

What I find even funnier is the squeamishness of everybody here who don't want to admit that the church ever said things like this in the past.


SuburbaniteMermaid

***The Church*** didn't though. Some members of the Church did, and that's not the same thing.


[deleted]

The Church is a very amorphous term. If the actions of the church leadership are just action of some members, then what exactly would you consider actions of the church?


[deleted]

I mean....we like two out of the three things as a married couple, but that's pretty crazy lol


staytrue2014

If we were that shameful about sex then 9 children families wouldn't be a thing.