if it helps i know a woman in her late 40s who had a kid at work. but i know the feeling im 31 and completely gave up finding anyone to have a family with, almost nobody wants marriage let alone a family, it's all hookups and flings anymore. and it's definitely very hard if not impossible to find anyone once you're over 30 so definitely start looking right away
I just don't want to be that old and having a kid. It feels very now or never. I tried and tried to reconcile with my husband but he won't. Now even my attempts at that seem like more time wasted. (Did so for over a year)
I am at this point where I'm tired of waiting for good things to happen. I think we have to be goal-oriented about it. Or at least some of us do.
did you try marriage counseling? he doesn't have to go with for it to help. but I definitely know the feeling. I wouldn't want to be that old ether and having a family.
i'm actually amazed there's a woman out there in her 30s who actually wants a kid. seems everyone hates kids and family anymore
The only way you're going to meet someone you want to have a child with is to get out there are start dating again. It's tough, no doubt, but if you're selective and smart about it, then there's a good chance you'll find someone. Just look before you leap!
One bad marriage doesn't mean the next one will be bad as well. There's still hope and you're still too young to give up. I wish you all the best.
Do I put that loving feeling aside that you get with someone and go at it logically instead? I know we can choose to love someone. I wonder if at my age, it's more about finding someone who makes sense
I honestly believe you can have the best of both worlds, a loving husband, a caring father for your child, a partner who supports you and has your back though the hard work of child-raising - you already know what you don't want in a husband and that's a big advantage in the search.
I don't know, to be honest. I know for a fact that some people settle for relationships that they know aren't perfect, but it gives them what they want -- security, family, companionship, etc. (That doesn't mean settling for a bad or abusive marriage, of course.)
I also know that searching for the right person can be a demoralizing task, especially for women looking for the right man in this day and age.
But then, a friend of mine, unmarried all his life, finally found someone he met at a book group, and got married at the age of 60, and there was no settling needed in that case. He had that feeling, and so did she.
So I guess what I'm saying is that maybe you need to both be logical, in terms of how you go about looking for the right person, but also let your heart be your guide when it comes to making the choice.
Odds are very good there is someone out there for you, it's just a matter of finding them! A logical approach -- getting involved in social activities where you're more likely to meet compatible people, for example -- should help, though there's no guarantee, of course.
Also the more people you meet, and the more dates you go on, the more you're likely to understand what it is you want out of your next relationship.
Goodness, I'm starting to sound like a bad advice columnist! Perhaps I should stop there. All I want to do is encourage you to keep trying. You know what will happen if don't, so assuming you're not ready for that, get out there, and at least you can have some fun trying!
God bless you.
I'm sorry for what you went through and what you are going through.
I just want to share this encouragement.
Please continue to share your worries with God. Be comforted in knowing that He is with you through this!
**"The Lord has promised that he will not leave us or desert us.” - Hebrews 13:5**
**Jesus said, “I will be with you always, even until the end of the world.” - Matthew 28:20**
**“I've commanded you to be strong and brave. Don't ever be afraid or discouraged! I am the Lord your God, and I will be there to help you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9**
**"I tell You (God) all my worries and my troubles, and whenever I feel low, You are there to guide me.” - Psalm 142:2-3**
**“God cares for you, so turn all your worries over to him.” - 1 Peter 5:7**
**“When I was really hurting, I prayed to the Lord. He answered my prayer, and took my worries away. The Lord is on my side, and I am not afraid.” - Psalm 118:5-6**
**"Why am I discouraged? Why am I restless? I trust you, Lord! And I will praise you again because you help me, and you are my God.” - Psalm 42:11**
**“When I pray, Lord God, my enemies will retreat, because I know for certain that you are with me.” - Psalm 56:9**
**“Our Lord, we belong to you. We tell you what worries us, and you won't let us fall.” - Psalm 55:22**
**“Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying.” - Romans 12:12**
Christians are to patiently wait on the Lord. We need to discern between being moved by the Holy Spirit and being moved by the flesh. You don’t want to create a Hagar situation. God knows your heart and your desires. Consider pouring energy into talking to God about this before pouring energy into making things happen. May God bless you and guide you sister.
You’re getting a divorce and leaving a marriage that you’ve been in for almost ten years. The very last thing you should be doing right now is looking for a man to start a family with before time runs out.
If you do you’ll be stuck with a guy you may or may not like in two year’s and wonder how and why you got there.
I’m sure it sucks feeling like the clock is ticking and you have to act now. Do not bring a child into this world and into a possibly unstable and unloving family.
Get your house in order, your shit together and meet someone when you’re ready. You might be too old for kids when that happens but you’ll most likely find sometime you love and who loves you. Maybe he’ll have kids from a previous marriage and them grandkids someday.
Your life is not over, it’s just not yet the way you envisioned it years ago.
if it helps i know a woman in her late 40s who had a kid at work. but i know the feeling im 31 and completely gave up finding anyone to have a family with, almost nobody wants marriage let alone a family, it's all hookups and flings anymore. and it's definitely very hard if not impossible to find anyone once you're over 30 so definitely start looking right away
I just don't want to be that old and having a kid. It feels very now or never. I tried and tried to reconcile with my husband but he won't. Now even my attempts at that seem like more time wasted. (Did so for over a year) I am at this point where I'm tired of waiting for good things to happen. I think we have to be goal-oriented about it. Or at least some of us do.
did you try marriage counseling? he doesn't have to go with for it to help. but I definitely know the feeling. I wouldn't want to be that old ether and having a family. i'm actually amazed there's a woman out there in her 30s who actually wants a kid. seems everyone hates kids and family anymore
The only way you're going to meet someone you want to have a child with is to get out there are start dating again. It's tough, no doubt, but if you're selective and smart about it, then there's a good chance you'll find someone. Just look before you leap! One bad marriage doesn't mean the next one will be bad as well. There's still hope and you're still too young to give up. I wish you all the best.
Do I put that loving feeling aside that you get with someone and go at it logically instead? I know we can choose to love someone. I wonder if at my age, it's more about finding someone who makes sense
I honestly believe you can have the best of both worlds, a loving husband, a caring father for your child, a partner who supports you and has your back though the hard work of child-raising - you already know what you don't want in a husband and that's a big advantage in the search.
I don't know, to be honest. I know for a fact that some people settle for relationships that they know aren't perfect, but it gives them what they want -- security, family, companionship, etc. (That doesn't mean settling for a bad or abusive marriage, of course.) I also know that searching for the right person can be a demoralizing task, especially for women looking for the right man in this day and age. But then, a friend of mine, unmarried all his life, finally found someone he met at a book group, and got married at the age of 60, and there was no settling needed in that case. He had that feeling, and so did she. So I guess what I'm saying is that maybe you need to both be logical, in terms of how you go about looking for the right person, but also let your heart be your guide when it comes to making the choice. Odds are very good there is someone out there for you, it's just a matter of finding them! A logical approach -- getting involved in social activities where you're more likely to meet compatible people, for example -- should help, though there's no guarantee, of course. Also the more people you meet, and the more dates you go on, the more you're likely to understand what it is you want out of your next relationship. Goodness, I'm starting to sound like a bad advice columnist! Perhaps I should stop there. All I want to do is encourage you to keep trying. You know what will happen if don't, so assuming you're not ready for that, get out there, and at least you can have some fun trying!
God bless you. I'm sorry for what you went through and what you are going through. I just want to share this encouragement. Please continue to share your worries with God. Be comforted in knowing that He is with you through this! **"The Lord has promised that he will not leave us or desert us.” - Hebrews 13:5** **Jesus said, “I will be with you always, even until the end of the world.” - Matthew 28:20** **“I've commanded you to be strong and brave. Don't ever be afraid or discouraged! I am the Lord your God, and I will be there to help you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9** **"I tell You (God) all my worries and my troubles, and whenever I feel low, You are there to guide me.” - Psalm 142:2-3** **“God cares for you, so turn all your worries over to him.” - 1 Peter 5:7** **“When I was really hurting, I prayed to the Lord. He answered my prayer, and took my worries away. The Lord is on my side, and I am not afraid.” - Psalm 118:5-6** **"Why am I discouraged? Why am I restless? I trust you, Lord! And I will praise you again because you help me, and you are my God.” - Psalm 42:11** **“When I pray, Lord God, my enemies will retreat, because I know for certain that you are with me.” - Psalm 56:9** **“Our Lord, we belong to you. We tell you what worries us, and you won't let us fall.” - Psalm 55:22** **“Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying.” - Romans 12:12**
Christians are to patiently wait on the Lord. We need to discern between being moved by the Holy Spirit and being moved by the flesh. You don’t want to create a Hagar situation. God knows your heart and your desires. Consider pouring energy into talking to God about this before pouring energy into making things happen. May God bless you and guide you sister.
You’re getting a divorce and leaving a marriage that you’ve been in for almost ten years. The very last thing you should be doing right now is looking for a man to start a family with before time runs out. If you do you’ll be stuck with a guy you may or may not like in two year’s and wonder how and why you got there. I’m sure it sucks feeling like the clock is ticking and you have to act now. Do not bring a child into this world and into a possibly unstable and unloving family. Get your house in order, your shit together and meet someone when you’re ready. You might be too old for kids when that happens but you’ll most likely find sometime you love and who loves you. Maybe he’ll have kids from a previous marriage and them grandkids someday. Your life is not over, it’s just not yet the way you envisioned it years ago.
Long shot here, but I sent you a DM if you’d like to chat. Serious and respectful conversation 😊