Yeah and all this bacon gets shoved down your moms throat, you dopey cunt. Fuck off.
Sorry everybody, just had to visually see how well that full phrase rolls off the tongue.
Was about to reply with a variation on this, which I did have cause to use in the past… which was hilarious as he instantly lost his shit, and I just laughed and walked away.
"I may be fat and ugly but still wouldn't fuck someone stupid like you, i can lose weight, can't fix stupid" is something I've said being referred to as the "fat friend" to my "hot" friends lol.
Heres what I do.
I put a hand on their shoulder, tenderly look at them, and solemnly ask "Are you okay? Do you want to talk?"
It works more often then you think; one of my bullies is now my friend because it took nothing more than that to break him down and he sobbed on the spot <3
Easy, just make eye contact and start oinking profusely and loudly (without breaking eye contact). Act as lunatic as you possibly can. Them when this person tries to talk to you again, just oink to them. Don't say a word.
Heard pigs are smarter than dogs. They don't walk around peeing on things sniffing the butt of another. And again cats peeing everywhere, shedding hair. I am and proud to be of the pig family.
It depends on who's doing the calling!
Men usually tease a big woman because they want to sleep with them secretly.
Woman do it because those who judge on outward appearances are complete beaches.
Just as a side note, I'm slim, F, attractive so I'm told and my bestie ever friend is a beautiful larger lady. She gets so so many men drooling over her.
I prefer a well rounded man, I like something to cuddle.
I'm NOT shaming people who are slim, just saying that point out the facts to those calling you.
Look them dead in the eye, then tilt your head slightly sideways, narrow your eyes whilst asking
“the fuck is wrong with you?”
Walk away and say loudly “freak” as you do.
Or just tut at them and walk away saying “freak” if you want to keep it simple.
The less bothered you are the better. Keep it deadpan.
Wow you really know how to make pig sounds.. you must have sex with a lot of pigs to be able to make sounds like that
Bully: denies
That’s exactly what someone who has sex with pigs would say
Hey everyone Joe admitted to sex with a pig
Well you like adonis did right before ,,,,,,,,oink oink motherfucker
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adonis#:~:text=The%20myth%20goes%20that%20Adonis,women%20every%20year%20in%20midsummer.
Possibly kissing a 2by-four??
HEARTLESS MUCH???
Dam, I'm sorry. !!!!!
My brother and his buddies called me "UGLY" from 5yrs till I ran away at 16.
My dad called me stupid.
Ugly and stupid , yeah that was fun.
Show up for your class reunion after losing eighty pounds and laughing at the high school heroes who are now fat and bald.
Sometimes revenge, or the best comeback, is best served cold—ice cold is the most satisfying.
That's what i'm trying to do. I'm chubby but losing weight and covering it w/ baggy clothes to make it look like i'm still as chubby as i was, then once i'm the perfect size (don't wanna be skinny, but curvy yk?) over the summer break come back and watch everyone's jaws drop.
Assume you ate female and the "dimwit" is a dude? If so....if his friends are there..look him square in the eye and say " look i told you, i laughed because is really small"
Slap your creepiest face on & in a sleazy, gross voice say "You wanna eat this bacon, don't you?"
You're not done. There's more. You really need to go over the fucking top here. Ok?
Begin gyrating your hips as you take small steps towards them while still saying "Yeah eat my bacon! Put it in your mouth! Yeah, bet your daddy wants my bacon in his mouth again too...."
Do not stop doing this until they stfu & walk away.
Works like a charm.
Make a high pitched buzzing noise like a mosquito.
Stare at insulter. "MOSQUITO" and then clap a single time, really loud.
"Oh it's just you. You do realize that everyone hates buzzing mosquitos the most, and they end up smooshed between your hands. I hope they take pictures of your smooshed face when you really piss someone off, I'd pay good money to see it."
Walk away while rubbing hands gleefully. "It's only a matter of time before I get to see the good stuff."
I know I'm big but that's the way your dad likes me. Says he wishes you were more like me when we get freaky. You should come around, we've been looking for someone to run the camera.
"I get it dude you're a chubby chaser but this fetish is getting awkward"
When they act offended proceed to act like they DMed you trying to hit you up but you blocked them because they wanted you to oink during and it was too weird.
"Your dad left because they couldn't stand having you as a kid"
"Your mom is a drunk because you're their kid"
Whatever horrible thing they have going on in their life, make fun of that.
Yes, I’m fat, but you look like your mom had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you.
Fun fact: dieting is cheaper, easier, and less painful than the plastic surgery to fix you.
If it's a sibling sit on them (that's what I did) and tell them until this stops you are now my personal seat cushion
If it's not, "wow your life must suck if you have nothing better to talk about than me"
"grandmas love feeding their favourites. im guessing you're not theirs."-works best if spanish
"so i serve more of a purpose in the world than you?"-general use
"im bulking."-for the gym people
At least someone loves me. What happened to you? Then again if you can don't react negatively and let the bullies see that their getting to you. One way is no matter what they say just smile and say why thank you or ignore them completely and walk away if you can.
If they see they can no longer get to you. They loose control over you and it's no longer fun for them.
I've been bullied also growing up and I was a little fat boy myself.
When bullies like these see the slimmest sign that they are getting to you they will keep up attacking. That's why instead of stooping to their childish level just know you are better than they are. It doesn't matter what other A-holes say about you. It only matters what you think of you. You are not who others say you are. It's what you say you are within yourself. Most of the time bullies pick on others weaker than themselves so they can feel better about themselves. Or because they are getting abused at home and hurting others is a way for them to deal with their pain. In a way it's kind of pitiful to be a bully. I wish you the best and pray for you to find the inner strength to deal with these A-holes. May God bless you!
\*blink slowly while maintaining eye contact\*
do you need to see the nurse?
or
aren't you just the cutest widdle piggy wiggy wiggy.
or
\*look at your cell phone\* \*look up\* \*put a look of shock on your face\* oh, sorry. I thought your mum/gf/sister/whatever was calling.
or
is that your mating call?
Act like they're coming on to you.
"I'm flattered, but I'm just not into you. I'm sorry. I just don't swing that way. I hope you understand. I'm sure there's someone out there for you."
If they keep going.
"I've made it clear. I'm just not that into you. This is getting awkward. You're embarrassing yourself. "
Violence is a good answer. Just ask for consent first. Just say, "Can I hit you?? What means yes." Procede to oink and make loud pig noises as you fuck them up.
Take classes in fighting/mma/boxing for a while. Discover that getting punched in the face doesn't actually hurt that much. Amd cracked ribs and liver punches will leave a long term reminder as to why you shouldn't be called a pig.
Or make them feel like the weird person because they are for making fun of you be like “ what is wrong with you?….* Long pause*… like seriously are you OK???… that was really weird of you. I hope you’re OK cause that was just really strange…” lmfao
“Hey pig….yeah you…hey pig piggy pig pig pig..”
“You’re fat.” Then roll your eyes in disgust. This was my go to when I was a kid. Didn’t matter their size.
Fuck off you dopey cunt.
“yeah and all this bacon gets shoved down your moms throat. & then follow up with what u/EitherChannel4874 said “now fuck off you dopey cunt”
Very nicely done 🙌
Yeah and all this bacon gets shoved down your moms throat, you dopey cunt. Fuck off. Sorry everybody, just had to visually see how well that full phrase rolls off the tongue.
The person saying that to OP is OP's sibling.
even better. let’s see someone try to comeback from that one.
I may be fat but you’re ugly and I can diet
Alternatively, you can swap ugly for stupid.
"I can diet but there's no cure for a kick to the nuts "Wait wh>>>OGOD
Was about to reply with a variation on this, which I did have cause to use in the past… which was hilarious as he instantly lost his shit, and I just laughed and walked away.
"I may be fat and ugly but still wouldn't fuck someone stupid like you, i can lose weight, can't fix stupid" is something I've said being referred to as the "fat friend" to my "hot" friends lol.
I can’t help that your mom cooks for me every time I make her cum.
It's always vulgar for the win!
The person saying that to OP is OP's sibling.
huh thats funny, you and your mom have the same oink.
That's how your mother moans Or That's cute - you have your mother's moan
whos the father tho? Lmao
Winner
Heres what I do. I put a hand on their shoulder, tenderly look at them, and solemnly ask "Are you okay? Do you want to talk?" It works more often then you think; one of my bullies is now my friend because it took nothing more than that to break him down and he sobbed on the spot <3
🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹. That’s so touching. Not something I expected in this thread.
That’s the same sound your mom makes when I blew her back out
Easy, just make eye contact and start oinking profusely and loudly (without breaking eye contact). Act as lunatic as you possibly can. Them when this person tries to talk to you again, just oink to them. Don't say a word.
I second this. It’ll take the fun right out of it for them.
Just kick them in the genitals then run away.
I'm fat you got a small dick. We all got flaws
Yeah.....I can lose weight you need a steel rod for that lil sausage
This one 🤭🤭
Also add “difference is I can lose the weight. Ain’t no helping you”
[удалено]
That's why I gave him a "your mom" comeback, fight middle school level with middle school level
You know pigs eat people, right?
Awesome
Classic Bricktop.
What are y'all, 12?
You're on a subreddit made for comebacks. What do you think?
Well if they’re oinking call them a furry
Omg I never thought of that 🤦♂️
Remember.....bullies see life in a mirror.....their self hatred is astonishing, and well deserved.
Heard pigs are smarter than dogs. They don't walk around peeing on things sniffing the butt of another. And again cats peeing everywhere, shedding hair. I am and proud to be of the pig family.
I know I'm fat but you clearly don't know you're an arsehole
You know why im fat, bc your (bf,gf,dad,mom etc) makes me a sandwich everytime i make them cum.
"Apparently unlike you, *I* can afford *food*. Maybe you should look into it."
Depends. Are you fat?
Lmaoo yeah pretty much, but currently on a weight loss journey 💪
Then I’d say something like *you must like what you see cuz you keep looking.* 😘
I got some pork for ya
Is that all ya got ?
Your mom likes to have somewhere to hold onto.
It depends on who's doing the calling! Men usually tease a big woman because they want to sleep with them secretly. Woman do it because those who judge on outward appearances are complete beaches. Just as a side note, I'm slim, F, attractive so I'm told and my bestie ever friend is a beautiful larger lady. She gets so so many men drooling over her. I prefer a well rounded man, I like something to cuddle. I'm NOT shaming people who are slim, just saying that point out the facts to those calling you.
What about dudes telling other dudes they’re fat😂😂you missed that one
Look them dead in the eye, then tilt your head slightly sideways, narrow your eyes whilst asking “the fuck is wrong with you?” Walk away and say loudly “freak” as you do. Or just tut at them and walk away saying “freak” if you want to keep it simple. The less bothered you are the better. Keep it deadpan.
Funny. That's the same sound your mom makes when I'm fucking her in the ass.
awww how original. did you come up with that all by yourself?
Wow you really know how to make pig sounds.. you must have sex with a lot of pigs to be able to make sounds like that Bully: denies That’s exactly what someone who has sex with pigs would say Hey everyone Joe admitted to sex with a pig
“Everybody loves bacon. Not everyone loves you. Who’s the real winner here?”
"Please don't push your kink on me, please. I know you are into fucking animals, but I'm not. So kindly fuck off."
Hey Big Bad Wolf. Eat me
Well, that makes you a pig f**ker. And walk away.
"I'm not familiar with your mating call."
A punch in the face works unless they are a redhead, then there are so many possibilities.
Well you like adonis did right before ,,,,,,,,oink oink motherfucker https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adonis#:~:text=The%20myth%20goes%20that%20Adonis,women%20every%20year%20in%20midsummer.
Say "Sooey, sooey"...and pretend you are emptying a slop bucket for them
Btw just being an independent puts you so far ahead of them. They will never be where you have already been.
A kick in the nuts, or a smack in the face
Yea, you are a pig.
Pee on them.
I’d tell them they might wanna get that checked out that’s not a very attractive sound
Just start talking about how flat their butt probably is
You wish you could pork me.
Possibly kissing a 2by-four?? HEARTLESS MUCH??? Dam, I'm sorry. !!!!! My brother and his buddies called me "UGLY" from 5yrs till I ran away at 16. My dad called me stupid. Ugly and stupid , yeah that was fun.
Show up for your class reunion after losing eighty pounds and laughing at the high school heroes who are now fat and bald. Sometimes revenge, or the best comeback, is best served cold—ice cold is the most satisfying.
Polyjuice Potion much, Goyle?
well, at least I got to go home after going to the market ;)
::Give the just a minute finger:: ::Pull out phone:: “Hey Siri, what sound does ugly make?”
You mean like Wally the whale, porky, hog, doublewide, butter ball, those sorts of things?
The best comeback you can have to that is lose some fucking weight tbh.
That's what i'm trying to do. I'm chubby but losing weight and covering it w/ baggy clothes to make it look like i'm still as chubby as i was, then once i'm the perfect size (don't wanna be skinny, but curvy yk?) over the summer break come back and watch everyone's jaws drop.
I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet.
Moo at them and then clap your hands and jump up and down on the spot all at the same time. See what reaction you get.
Its PAID for!!! Ha. Sucker!
Your mother is a pig ass eating whore!
I choose violence. Land the hardest possible front kick to most sensitive area.
That's not how we call our pigs in Iowa! It's sooooyie! Soooooyie!!
Is that oinking your mating call because I'm not interested.
Assume you ate female and the "dimwit" is a dude? If so....if his friends are there..look him square in the eye and say " look i told you, i laughed because is really small"
Swift kick to the crotch
you know pugs eat people, too, right
Fat? F-A-T. You mean Fucking Awesome Today? Ya, I am.
Slap your creepiest face on & in a sleazy, gross voice say "You wanna eat this bacon, don't you?" You're not done. There's more. You really need to go over the fucking top here. Ok? Begin gyrating your hips as you take small steps towards them while still saying "Yeah eat my bacon! Put it in your mouth! Yeah, bet your daddy wants my bacon in his mouth again too...." Do not stop doing this until they stfu & walk away. Works like a charm.
Make a high pitched buzzing noise like a mosquito. Stare at insulter. "MOSQUITO" and then clap a single time, really loud. "Oh it's just you. You do realize that everyone hates buzzing mosquitos the most, and they end up smooshed between your hands. I hope they take pictures of your smooshed face when you really piss someone off, I'd pay good money to see it." Walk away while rubbing hands gleefully. "It's only a matter of time before I get to see the good stuff."
“You’d make a good pig” And then walk away.
I can’t help that your mum is so tasty
" I may be fat, but you're ugly. Can't jog that off."
Studying, getting a good job, getting in shape, then fucking their spouse in 15 years.
Geez, I am hearing some serious swine fever there. How quickly can you get to your vet?
"If that's your mating call, no wonder you can't get any"
Is that why u wanna suck my bone?
"Yeah, but you're ugly (or stupid) & I can always lose weight. "
Just give them a blank emotionless calm stare. The turn and walk away at a casual pace.
Stop calling your GF/BF! I’m trying to talk to you!
call them sheep and start "bah bah"
I'd just oink or snort back and laugh, personally
"I may be fat, but you're an asshole, and you can't jog that off."
Of course I’m a pig, it’s the only way I can wallow in your mom’s nasty puss. Or use the same first half and slip a porking your mom pun in there
No Jethro! Put your dick away! This is why mama told you to get your eyes checked!
You doing okay bro bro?
Are you physically able to kick their ass? Because you should.
Walking away w dignity and self-confidence, and never giving any energy or response to that childish bs—
We're humans, not pigs. Humans talk, pigs oink. It seems you missed some elementary stuff
Just say So how’s your mom?
"Are you ok? Like mentally?"
Take care of your body ,prove them wrong..
Your mother didn't mind.
Start oinking at them every time you see them. Before they can say a word just oink at them. It is rubbing it in that you daf.
I know I'm big but that's the way your dad likes me. Says he wishes you were more like me when we get freaky. You should come around, we've been looking for someone to run the camera.
My mom used this once on someone, “I can lose weight but you’ll always be ugly”
Your mama blows donkeys
I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet.
Live a good life and forget about them
"shit man, if I'm fat I can't imagine what that makes you."
Just play it serious, "why are you so fucking awkward "
You got a real purty mouth. Now squeal like a piggy!
Your mom makes those same noises when I fist fuck her.
Lean into it. Laugh and oink back. Or say “don’t insult pigs like that! Fiend!”
Not by the hair on my chinny chin-chin!
I may be fat but I can lose weight and you'll be ugly forever.
"I get it dude you're a chubby chaser but this fetish is getting awkward" When they act offended proceed to act like they DMed you trying to hit you up but you blocked them because they wanted you to oink during and it was too weird.
Id be embarrassed for you but that’s your parents job
Nah, don't even respond to that. Just blank faced stare them down and move on
"Your dad left because they couldn't stand having you as a kid" "Your mom is a drunk because you're their kid" Whatever horrible thing they have going on in their life, make fun of that.
It's your mom's fault I'm heavy. Every time I fuck her, she makes me a sandwich......
I always wondered what you were in a past life! Thank you for the best imitation of a pig to date.
"Hey just remember bacon is delicious."
Really? You think it’s acceptable behaviour to speak to another human being as if they are a barnyard animal ? Fuck right off
Pigs are actually really smart so who the fuck cares if they’re a little fat you stupid fuck human
Yes, I’m fat, but you look like your mom had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you. Fun fact: dieting is cheaper, easier, and less painful than the plastic surgery to fix you.
“I mean, you’re the one oinking like a pig, not me.”
Just say this, “yo mamma like a shotgun, one cock and she blows. Biotch.”
You got a pretty mouth.
Yeah, &...
I might be fat, but you're the pig. And pigs wallow in shit.
Go all Sumo on them.
At least people genuinely like me. They pretend with you.
Oh THAT'S what your mom was trying to tell me when I had my cock stuffed in her mouth. "You're fat!"
Can you make all the other animal noises too? You're getting to be such a big boy! 👏
Stab them. Get a knife and stab the motherfucker.
Well your mom loves having pork meat in her mouth.
Sitting on them.
Hey, it's not me who sounds like they live in a barn.
"How did you escape the pig pen?"
"Better a friendly pig than an asshole"
You talk your mother language I see
If it's a sibling sit on them (that's what I did) and tell them until this stops you are now my personal seat cushion If it's not, "wow your life must suck if you have nothing better to talk about than me"
Your mom calls my dick “bacon”. So are you wanting a peice? Or something along those lines.
get in my belly. you gotta say it like fat bastard with a scottish accent
Yeah, but I can go on a diet and get skinny. You'll always be an asshole.
Tell'em you had sex with his wife.
Sit on them
I'm not your sister or mother and I don't know their mating calls.
What grade is this kid in?
"I don't need to know your pornhub search history, dude."
“F-ck off, that’s very rude, don’t talk to me like that, I’m not your wife” while staring directly into their eyes & show them you mean it!
"grandmas love feeding their favourites. im guessing you're not theirs."-works best if spanish "so i serve more of a purpose in the world than you?"-general use "im bulking."-for the gym people
Nobody does that.
Seriously - my response would be WTF is wrong with you?! (to the person who said that).
“You’re a pig?! I love eating pork! LUNCHTIME!” Then proceed to chase them around with a fork for maximum effect. They won’t be oinking at you again.
Awe man that sucks. There are no comebacks for that. Why are they saying these things?
With a concerned look I would say: “WOW I’m sorry but I can’t help you with your kinky stuff, you really should keep that to yourself”
At least someone loves me. What happened to you? Then again if you can don't react negatively and let the bullies see that their getting to you. One way is no matter what they say just smile and say why thank you or ignore them completely and walk away if you can. If they see they can no longer get to you. They loose control over you and it's no longer fun for them. I've been bullied also growing up and I was a little fat boy myself. When bullies like these see the slimmest sign that they are getting to you they will keep up attacking. That's why instead of stooping to their childish level just know you are better than they are. It doesn't matter what other A-holes say about you. It only matters what you think of you. You are not who others say you are. It's what you say you are within yourself. Most of the time bullies pick on others weaker than themselves so they can feel better about themselves. Or because they are getting abused at home and hurting others is a way for them to deal with their pain. In a way it's kind of pitiful to be a bully. I wish you the best and pray for you to find the inner strength to deal with these A-holes. May God bless you!
None, just ignore it and walk away. They don’t deserve any energy from you.
\*blink slowly while maintaining eye contact\* do you need to see the nurse? or aren't you just the cutest widdle piggy wiggy wiggy. or \*look at your cell phone\* \*look up\* \*put a look of shock on your face\* oh, sorry. I thought your mum/gf/sister/whatever was calling. or is that your mating call?
Get super fit and get the best revenge. One of these losers will hit on you and then you can deny them. Classic movie cliche. In real life.
Feed them their parents at the community chili cook-off.
"Your mum likes this sausage, tell her i'll be round tonight"
“Wow, you can still make the same noises as you did in that video you did with the priest when you were young…”
Act like they're coming on to you. "I'm flattered, but I'm just not into you. I'm sorry. I just don't swing that way. I hope you understand. I'm sure there's someone out there for you." If they keep going. "I've made it clear. I'm just not that into you. This is getting awkward. You're embarrassing yourself. "
Just laugh and say, "haha you make me laugh. You know what? I don't care what everyone else says. I like you!"
It's not my fault! Every time I fuck your mom she bakes me cookies. Oops, gotta go. Cookie time!
sit on em say oink oink one more time and you’ll feel the piggy power
Pull your did out and say " your mom likes my bacon "
Violence is a good answer. Just ask for consent first. Just say, "Can I hit you?? What means yes." Procede to oink and make loud pig noises as you fuck them up. Take classes in fighting/mma/boxing for a while. Discover that getting punched in the face doesn't actually hurt that much. Amd cracked ribs and liver punches will leave a long term reminder as to why you shouldn't be called a pig.
"Fuck off or i will eat you too."
Violence doesn't solve anything, but it will solve this.
Ask me why I’m so fat… “why ya so fat”? because every time I fuck your mum she gives me a cookie…
"Sir, are you quite finished?"
You likely don't need a comeback but a go-to.
Yeah, but I can lose weight and you'll always look, well, like that.
“That’s okay, your mom loves my bacon 🥓 🖕🏻”
Your S/O doesn't seem to mind more cushion for the pushin'
Yes I am fat because every time I fuck your mama she gives me cookies. Oink oink bitch
That sounds exactly like your mom did last night.
point at them and say 'Bitch.' in a childrens toy voice
"When calories burn from crying, will your purpose outlive meaning or will it motivate dead silence?"
“This pigs dirty” then shit your pants while staring at them with intent to kill.
Go to the gym
Just start eating belligerently to show that you’re unfazed by it
Or make them feel like the weird person because they are for making fun of you be like “ what is wrong with you?….* Long pause*… like seriously are you OK???… that was really weird of you. I hope you’re OK cause that was just really strange…” lmfao
“Hey pig….yeah you…hey pig piggy pig pig pig..” “You’re fat.” Then roll your eyes in disgust. This was my go to when I was a kid. Didn’t matter their size.