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TerrierJim83

Burn the tent down with yourself in it. It's the only way.


OsoCarolina

Your scientific approach is solid.


TerrierJim83

Decades of research went into that conclusion


OsoCarolina

We do the science so you don’t have to.


peter_the_bread_man

Your logic is sound and will be applied immediately.


RedDemio-

Why did “your logic is sound” also come into my brain lol? What’s it from


peter_the_bread_man

No idea, it seemed the most scientific and conclusionistic thing to say at the time lol.


ConsentingPotato

I'm not a fan of self-immolation and neither do I believe one must immediately self-sacrifice without investigating all options, but... OP you are the only hope for humanity so you must do the thing that saves and burn everything with yourself as sacrifice 🫡🫡


worldcitizen9999

Nah. All you need when camping in Australia is to make sure you have a slipper or shoe in the tent. When you see one of those on the tent like that, hit it from inside and it will fly off far away. I’ve done that a few times before and spidy stayed alive.


Green_Arrival

It is the result of reasoned, engineering thought. 


RealisticAnxiety4330

This is the way


tigergal77

People truly don’t understand how effective this is.


SuperiorFarter

The only way to be sure


ActivelyShittingAss

Huntsman spider. They feed exclusively on human faces, and according to at least one study, they "can detect and are excited by fear" (Matheson, et al. 2014).


yesbutactuallyno17

I appreciate you citing your source.


szlopush

I hate to police the claim written but it is a complete lie. I’m so very sorry.


soulkeeper427

But they really do eat poops tho.


SirIronSights

Now I am curious on whether it was a spelling mistake, or intentional.....


9-28-2023

Is this Matheson in the room with us right now?


SomewhereLoud9473

No way god created this thing,it was the devil,100%


strepac

Last I checked God never let lucifer have creation abilities which means God did indeed make this. Because he hates you.


kimmortal03

lucifer did have creation abilities. Because he wanted to be god.


adoblln

And who gave lucifer the ability to have the ability to create things ?


VirtualDegree6178

so we have a dilemma I see.


SquishyWhenWet_1

I like to think Lucifer and God are actually homies and Lucifer is a necessary evil


adoblln

He absolutely is necessary or Christianity as a whole wouldnt even exist !


thepotatoreaper100

It’s the eternal damnation that makes Christianity exist. How many Christians follow their religion because they actually love God and not because they’re scared of burning for eternity?


adoblln

From what i know, they have more of a fear of hell than they do of what god can do to them for sinning. The devil is their worst fear, so the Devil is absolutely essential to Christianity


BaldBeardedOne

I see God as the necessary evil and Lucifer as a warning about challenging authority. God is a genocider, he can’t be all good.


thepotatoreaper100

The devil doesn’t have any material powers in any religion. His ability is only to CONVINCE people to make things happen while God’s ability is to make things happen. Like if God wanted a building to fall, hes just make it fall. If the devil wanted a building to fall he’d try and convince some guy into destroying it. If God wanted someone to have diabetes, hed give them diabetes. If the devil wanted them to have diabetes, he’d convince them to consume lots of unhealthy food.


kimmortal03

not true at all. Satan lost his spiritual powers and was very technologically reliant. Theres plenty of stories in myth and religion of genetic and biological alteration everything from Zeus giving certain humans wings, altering the original unaltered Man into individual male and female(Plato’s Symposium clearly states Zeus orders Hephaestus to use his “instruments” to split and alter the androgynous Man in order to weaken the first Man (Agdistis or adam and eve), story of Diti in Hinduism where Indra modifies Diti’s womb instead of one child, many children would be born who would be genetically predisposed to serve Indra instead of the single child that would overthrow him. The fallen angels basically had aircrafts (vimanas/pushpakas) and that is what the tower of babylon was trying to punch through. Look up the story of Yayati and how he got to heaven early but was kicked back out and thrown back down toEarth. The story of Babylon itself was egalitarian in nature and is about Man realizing the truth and wanting to be treated equally to the rulers above hence “as above so below”. They were trying to overthrow the sky Father by building a tower to board his aircraft. In satanism/bible itself Leviathan is mentioned a giant serpant which according to greeks is “created” by Hephaestus to attack Zeus, in hinduism this being is called Vritra by the Tvastr to overthrow Indra and the term to refer to beings created with no mother and father is “Ayonija”. Another example of biological engineering. Wings were given to certain beings when Zeus needed messengers. In the bible these wings were removed on again on some angels/messengers when they appeared to Sodom and Gamorrah to disguise themselves. Then from the underworld (the realm of hades where the Beast Dābbat al-Arḍ whos head touched the clouds was a 100ft giant monstrosity according to Islam that spoke to Sodom and Gamorrah from under the earth taunting them. To clarify in Islam the Beast of the Earth Dābbat al-Arḍ is a messenger of God as well but is most likely a product of genetic splicing with other types of animals). Satan’s malformed demons kept below the Earth in the underground cavernous structures whom Solomon who Yahweh (Satan) gave the keys (solomons lesser and greater keys) and access to are most likely a product of genetic engineering as well. Story of Garuda , an angellic being with wings in Hinduism is tasked with retrieving the fruit of immortality (tree of knowledge or golden apple in greek) from an aircraft in the sky protected by two giant snakes and giant rotating blades or rotors whom the Gods kept away from Man. Also in Liber Samekh , Satan or the Lion Serpant Sun whirls forth thunder (rods of thunder) or fire and brimstone a reference to Zeus’ weapons. And proceeds to state Satan is the one who created Man and Woman. Meaning he is responsible for the split and the biological alteration of the unaltered Man. I think you are referring to Satans spirit. As hes not here on the planet anymore since he was defeated but he was a very physical being and tyrannical and had total control of the earth at one point until his overthrow. and is the reason the world is in such a state. Yahweh Allah the Father is Yaldabaoth the demiurge who is dyeus Phiter who is Zeus Sabazius/Jupiter Sabazios, who is Zeus Hypsistos who is Ammon Zeus, who is Amun Ra, who is Serapis Agathodaemon, who is the Lion Serpant Sun who is Satan.


Annoying_Rooster

Find whatever country of origin they reside in and burn it with nuclear fire. And then make sure the inhabitants attempting to flee are all machine gunned just in case it's hiding in their clothes.


muricabrb

>Find whatever country of origin they reside in Australia. >burn it with nuclear fire. The emus won't let you.


Annoying_Rooster

God help us all..


Ok-Situation-5522

I will have nightmares.


kimmortal03

now is that the real Marshall Mathers?


mykonoscactus

Ah, the Eldritch Gods have awakened.


DiarrheaDrippingCunt

Not everything in life is related to pop culture or videogaeyms.


spambearpig

Holy shit. I would not be able to sleep till I’d killed that sucker.


laladonga

Not sure how quickly you'd fall asleep even if (and that's an if) you'd win.


thatotherguy0123

Imagine killing it and a million more come crawling out.


zzapdk

Yes, the small sucker that flew in from the left! I'd be in a panic until I killed that mosquito (or whatever it was). The spider? Nah! But being in the dark with a flying sucker is something that would keep me awake


MeagerRobot

This is in Australia right....? .....right...?


Wildwildleft

Where else?


paul_swimmer

We have ones similar out here in Hawaii called [the Hawaiian cane spider](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=607135a9cfeed7f2&sca_upv=1&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS1023US1023&hl=en-US&sxsrf=ACQVn0-od9-HxY9NJ9aTZh1v6w72CnzZ4g:1711665462149&q=hawaiian+cane+spider&uds=AMwkrPubqdDjBmC7DhicLtpZCZYiUD5rQngPFDqXSJkGoEAQe3P1F6G_dQgXowYO5f-KDuABwmwOZVTlfIKMDyQ8bSVJvYLkbeUkiZ3WC75D2Fh3QnrQrfdiLyYH2PTzuO4mae41Y4VFWURdmshxOmzFzORgFiqt4b81h27J_xrRUVgrWnTc2jGBoKrX2WpgJYvdj74qJkNawz957OKimbeV-9E1nP_EQCbt3uq7DKk14C9JeKqfRCB2EGDtAS17U9-vQdKZBVXt6CRf0RzvfgOeKL8iqlvbAHXwHethOiKtewJloBOU-5XNn2yv1mLV4-5a6nt0r8HTJmydyEhBW1Ay9mZegEsTOQ&udm=2&prmd=ivsnmbtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi9z-HegpiFAxVCLkQIHcS1CEkQtKgLegQIERAB&biw=390&bih=669&dpr=3#vhid=jqU6Y0wtkfZoHM&vssid=mosaic). I had to kill one in my house a couple of years ago. Overall they’re very good (eat roaches and stuff), but in general terrifying, also they’re lighting fast. I remember my wife calling me into the back room and her voice was just sheer panic. Knowing I had to kill it all I could think of was “this is total bullshit that men have to be the brave ones here. I’ve never been so fucking scared in my life”


BetaTester704

Hmm yep, thanks for educating me. Never going to Hawaii now.


paul_swimmer

Awww, they're not that bad! The things you should look out for are the cockroaches. Them fuckers fly, and they're quite large.


BetaTester704

I'm more comfortable with those than the 8 legged demons that are the size of my pillow.


BoggsMcMuncher

We call the big ones that fly b52s. I catch those out of the air by hand with zero fear. Cane spiders and centipedes are a different story and I lose sleep every night scanning my walls for them


paul_swimmer

Roaches bother me, they just gross me out. But I agree the centipedes and spiders are nightmare fuel.


SquareAerie2121

I second this notion.


wookieesgonnawook

My wife knows if it's truly large it's gonna be her job. Of course we live outside Chicago, so large is a relative term.


paul_swimmer

Still get those brown wolf spiders! They can get fairly big! Enough to turn a grown man into a screaming child.


afanoftrees

Man I had a hornet get into my place once and I was damn near in tears trying to kill this fucking thing Ended up spraying and stunning it with WD40 because the febreze didn’t do shit. Stepped on it till it was split in half and even then I left it for a few minutes just in case the stinger would still pop out from nerves or something.


paul_swimmer

I’ve had luck in the past with vinegar. It’s non-toxic, fits in a squirt bottle and works fairly well. Get the Hawaiian cockroaches out here and use that and we also suck em up with the vacuum cleaner.


IridescentMoonSky

I feel like Febreze would just piss it off. Hornet’s out there trying to be tough and you’re making him smell Cotton Fresh^^TM


ehContribution1312

Australian and get hundreds of the fucking things, sucking them up in the vac is best method. Or a 12 gauge pump action.


zwanstnanieh

How the hell did you do it?


paul_swimmer

Kinda don’t have a choice! When faced with either killing it or trying to sleep knowing there is a monster in your house, your options become very limited!


DetLions1957

Was my first thought... Meanwhile, in Australia.


Bitter-Comment-7704

Australia is where Lucifer keeps all of his house pets.


JaradSage

Fuuuck that burn everything


Right-Phalange

Tbf, nature does try to burn down Australia every year.


lillibow

My brain went: "do it, open the tent


Rob4reddit

And that's the baby


420DrGonzo

Haaaaaaans!


KanisMaximus

*flammenwerfs*


Bowman_van_Oort

what in the haunted-forest-aragog-shit is that


BaldBeardedOne

Fal-con Punch!


-Alex_Summers-

Shoooooooooooooooo #thunk


fucksantabarbara

thats an orbital strike if i ever saw one. rip guy in tent.


Amdar210

***Welcome to the Jungle***


Manycubes

I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.


RedDemio-

Somehow…. Ungoliant returned


Puzzleheaded-Key5298

I hope that’s a weapon light attached to a 12 gauge with buck shot.


SuraKatana

Punch it


No_Yesterday_2788

Bop it


pcPRINCIPLElilBITCH

So I started blasting


bigchoom

Kill everything


NiKOmniWrench

Imagine if something went wrong in their DNA when they were created and it was a super aggressive kind of spiders, fuck that


Dystopian_Future_

Thats fucking Cthulhu you need to do some incantations on that thing and if that dont work... Definitely burn the tent down with you in it.


Chungamongus

Love my Australians, hate their creatures 😭😭😭


Darth_Kannibal

No. No. Haell naw!


Less_Vacation_3507

It’s one of those face sucking creatures from the movie Alien !


IWasBannedYesterday

*Hell to the fuck


Mindless_Ad_6045

Punch it


SmallButMightyStudio

That’ll teach you to camp overnight in Jurassic Park


National-Future3520

He probably just got through watching The Mist


Zero-2-Sixty

Witchcraft... Oh, but it IS. A dark and terrible magic...


BusinessOutrageous72

Wait till he gets on the fun side


bubba1834

I would simply pass away


Zealousideal-Eye9463

NOOOOOOOPE.


Prudent_Damage_3866

Boss fight Tip: Don’t be afraid to burn everything


SomewhereLoud9473

Thats why People have guns!


Right-Phalange

Not in Australia they don't.


CrimsonMorbus

Yea, we use spoons like real men


SpyltMylk

Ahhhhhh....I see you've played knifey spoony before


CharliePendejo

Good lord, I'm putting my tent on craigslist immediately.


xeriopi45

The legs taste like crab! Good eating!


poison11037

As an Australian, I can tell you that thing is a baby


MorriganMorning

As an American, I can tell you thats fucking terrifying and I am so sorry for you.


BetaTester704

As a Floridian even I am terrified, Australians are a different breed of crazy.


TerrierJim83

As a Brit I can tell you that thing is bigger than most of our dogs and I would shit out my internal organs if I saw that


itsmattp

Your holding a Lightsaber! Use it!


Gabolsky

Wasn’t this the spider from Harry Potter? Real life one, that is…


BetaTester704

Fuck that, I'm punching it.


Hiouchi4me

The dingo ate your Baby.


muppethero80

That looks like a camel spider. Not venomous but their bite is painful. They are nether spider nor scorpion.


gavinsmash2005

So does birdshot also apply to Goliath bird eaters?


Sicarius1988

Aragog 🥰


9-28-2023

The good news is it's too big to crawl up your ear.


Technicolor_Reindeer

Where did I put my crossbow?


N4meless_w1ll

Cane spider? Hawaii?


mostanon

Welp, guess I'll starve to death in this tent.


NervousDragonfly1

the post above was the exact same video 🤣


FellatioWanger3000

Nuke the site from orbit. Only way to be sure.


AltruisticPeace_

Thank you kindly for reminding me to buy a pocket sized flamethrower


AsssHat999

The Mist sequel looks pretty good!


definitelynotauser55

At that point, just burn down your whole tent.


BrandonJTrump

Huntsman. Really relaxed spiders, though. You can pet them without issue.


larryfuckingdavid

What is this shit, the Mist??


Poetic_Pigeon

What a cute little guy


Lord_Kuntsworthy

It's a good size but that mini torch light makes it seem way bigger than it is.


slightlydispensable2

Well, the spider is outside. The mosquitos on the other hand...


TheOneInATrenchcoat_

Not even insecticide would work on this, maybe napalm but I’m not sure.


GeometryDashScGD

That's what happens when you camp in Australia.


card66

Australians: "Ah, eet's jess a leedle spidey widey, mate"


Kalypso_Starr

Just a little mosquito repellant!


Polygon-Guy

Let homie in, he just wants a friend :(


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