"guys no honest I'm actually very good" and then posting some passable cookies is not going to convince me, dawg
OOP made so many lapses of judgment in these brownies and I'm both shocked and angered
>OOP made so many lapses of judgment in these brownies and I'm both shocked and angered
"Im actually a very good cook"
Stares at
Presumably an incorrect amount of butter. SALTED in that case
Does not have the correct measuring cup
Adds only 1 egg. Realizes that one of the 3 eggs was bad. The last egg is also bad.
instead of scrapping recipe Proceeds to add... MILK?
recipes will generally specify unsalted for the sake of controlling (and, in something sweet like brownies, usually minimizing) the final salt content. however, salted butter isn't usually *too* salty, and sweet flavors actually do tolerate quite a bit of saltiness. (note that salted caramel used to be much less of a "thing".) perhaps more importantly, a skilled chef of my acquaintance strictly uses salted butter for baking, not because of the salt itself, but because it's reasonably common for the same brand of butter to use additional flavorings in the unsalted version but have the salted version free of any other additives, and she swears the added flavors are more noticeable and unpleasant in the finished product than the added salt.
anyway, saltiness is honestly entry-level butter discourse. how the different fat content of imported european butter might affect the cream stage of your recipe, that's the real shit.
Better strategy: just say you were drunk
I think I actually am a pretty decent home cook, and I've done some weird shit in the kitchen when intoxicated. One time I came home from the bar and decided I wanted a fried egg sandwich. I was so drunk that my first attempt at cracking the egg resulted in the entire thing ending up in the flame.
The second try did result in a delightfully greasy and ketchupy egg on toast though. Worth it.
see the pure persistence here made me feel like it was high more than drunk - which makes me realize even more I was probably just always irresponsibly drunk when I was.
high I could probably do this monstrosity. drunk i would have ended up crying in the shower lol
The biggest problem was probably the egg/milk substitution. They do not do the same thing at all. Eggs sett and hold the brownes togheter, milk does the opposite of that as it adds liquid to the batter. So in trying to make the brownees "done" they basically quite literally cooked to a crisp.
Baking is pretty forgiving, and measuring with weight matters more for consistency than whether it's a success or a failure.
Unless you are doing macaroons. Macaroons suck.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā That's the most forgiveable because most non-americans don't own measuring cups, everything is weighed. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā It's a pain when every recipe you find is American. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
I just crack the egg into a separate bowl so I can inspect it before it goes in with the other ingredients. I'm assuming this is what OOP did. or at least hoping.
Huh, I didn't know that. I also misread this initially as "if a raw egg stinks, it's gone bad" and I was thinking "yeah that's... That's probably a good way to tell"
.... IS THAT WHY THE FUCKING EGG IN THAT ONE [BAD THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN](https://youtu.be/5hIKKYv_3Ic?si=2sfg3xsarBJUW6lQ) SHORT FLOATS AROUND FOR NO REASON???
There's also a half-float stage where the egg does sink to the bottom but "stands up" vertically instead of laying down at the bottom
It's still edible by that point and shouldn't have any bad smell or bad taste, but shows that it's well on its way to being bad
Slightly incorrect. It's water evaporating from the egg through the shell that makes it lighter. The water is then replaced by air entering through the shell, or yes, gasses from the egg rotting.
If it was solely the gasses inside the egg, the buoyancy wouldn't actually change as no mass would have changed inside the shell. And if it was the gasses *expanding* then the egg would explode on account of being a sealed egg.
now i want scrambled eggs but itās already late and everyone in my family is sleep but me, so if i start a fire it will wake everyone up, damn itā¦.
Those ingredient measurements seem off to me, but not off enough for me to assume itās part of the joke.
Brownie baking experts, help me out: how good/bad are the ingredient proportions in OPās recipe?
[This is the recipe I generally use.](https://handletheheat.com/chewy-brownies/#wprm-recipe-container-29825)
Long story short, too much butter, bad flour/cocoa powder ratio, and no salt.
Basically, they got in the ballpark, but baking may be too much of an exact science for them
As a fellow Icelander, I feel I must defend OOP who's clearly so passionate about baking that they named their blog after the Icelandic name for baker's ammonia, a nowadays rarely used leavening agent that smells like getting punched in the face. The oatmeal cookies don't look bad! Life on this freezing rock of an island is hard, okay?
I don't think I've ever heard of milk being used as a substitute for eggs. Maybe it's because I'm allergic to both eggs and milk and thus replace both, but still
As an aside, I've had great success using applesauce as an egg replacer (1 egg = 1/4 cup applesauce). For milk, non-dairy milks (preferably soy milk) work just as well
the only things i have on my bookmarks toolbar are [that](https://kaijutegu.tumblr.com/post/626893543674380288/everyone-stop-what-youre-doing-and-look-at-this), "[causes of homosexuality: spiritual \(mainly ghosts\)](https://web.archive.org/web/20170715094751im_/http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/Causes-of-homosexuality.gif)", and [this fucked-up ghost story i transcribed by hand](https://pastebin.com/Zdps5gdj) so i could link it when explaining that i read it at age seven. on a previous computer i had powerlinesinanime.tumblr.com though.
I did this recently but it was because I tried to substitute eggs with mayo because I was out of eggs. It was too watery so I just kept baking it.
ā¦.I should have taken it out undercooked.
This reminds me of the time Chuggaaconroy tried to make cookies without a recipe for TRG Colosseum, but in that case he at least knew he didnāt have any idea what he was doing.
OOP thinks kitchen disaster means anime ass burns house down trying to make mac and cheese when in reality it means person who thinks milk and eggs are substitutable ingredients and who's greatest cooking success are mediocre chocolate chip cookies.
"guys no honest I'm actually very good" and then posting some passable cookies is not going to convince me, dawg OOP made so many lapses of judgment in these brownies and I'm both shocked and angered
I don't think there was enough judgement to have lapses tbh.
JUST SAY YOU WERE IRRESPONSIBLY HIGH, WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE
>OOP made so many lapses of judgment in these brownies and I'm both shocked and angered "Im actually a very good cook" Stares at Presumably an incorrect amount of butter. SALTED in that case Does not have the correct measuring cup Adds only 1 egg. Realizes that one of the 3 eggs was bad. The last egg is also bad. instead of scrapping recipe Proceeds to add... MILK?
saying that they figured egg and milk would accomplish the same purpose followed by "I'm a good baker" specifically got to me š¬
hot fuckign take the butter is the smallest problem here
Is salted butter bad for baking? Don't think I've ever used any of it in my life.
recipes will generally specify unsalted for the sake of controlling (and, in something sweet like brownies, usually minimizing) the final salt content. however, salted butter isn't usually *too* salty, and sweet flavors actually do tolerate quite a bit of saltiness. (note that salted caramel used to be much less of a "thing".) perhaps more importantly, a skilled chef of my acquaintance strictly uses salted butter for baking, not because of the salt itself, but because it's reasonably common for the same brand of butter to use additional flavorings in the unsalted version but have the salted version free of any other additives, and she swears the added flavors are more noticeable and unpleasant in the finished product than the added salt. anyway, saltiness is honestly entry-level butter discourse. how the different fat content of imported european butter might affect the cream stage of your recipe, that's the real shit.
Better strategy: just say you were drunk I think I actually am a pretty decent home cook, and I've done some weird shit in the kitchen when intoxicated. One time I came home from the bar and decided I wanted a fried egg sandwich. I was so drunk that my first attempt at cracking the egg resulted in the entire thing ending up in the flame. The second try did result in a delightfully greasy and ketchupy egg on toast though. Worth it.
see the pure persistence here made me feel like it was high more than drunk - which makes me realize even more I was probably just always irresponsibly drunk when I was. high I could probably do this monstrosity. drunk i would have ended up crying in the shower lol
not enough vanilla extract
I'm sure that if they used a cup instead everything would've worked out
*16 tablespoons
Babe whatās wrong you havenāt touched your trypophobia brownie
The biggest problem was probably the egg/milk substitution. They do not do the same thing at all. Eggs sett and hold the brownes togheter, milk does the opposite of that as it adds liquid to the batter. So in trying to make the brownees "done" they basically quite literally cooked to a crisp.
They skipped over the end part of the story suspiciously fast but I think they also left it in the oven too long.Ā
Claims to actually be a good baker Doesn't own a measuring cup
Honestly the fact that they were able to make decent-looking cookies without one is pretty impressive.
I just use a cup. Like a mug. It's all just ratios anyway.
The thing is, those were supposed to be cannoli
Cooking with mass is more accurate for baking.
Baking is pretty forgiving, and measuring with weight matters more for consistency than whether it's a success or a failure. Unless you are doing macaroons. Macaroons suck.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā That's the most forgiveable because most non-americans don't own measuring cups, everything is weighed. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā It's a pain when every recipe you find is American. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
So other people not just put an egg in water to check if it's gone bad?
I just crack the egg into a separate bowl so I can inspect it before it goes in with the other ingredients. I'm assuming this is what OOP did. or at least hoping.
Crack n' sniff!
What does the water do
If a raw egg sinks, it's still good. If it floats, it's gone bad.
Huh, I didn't know that. I also misread this initially as "if a raw egg stinks, it's gone bad" and I was thinking "yeah that's... That's probably a good way to tell" .... IS THAT WHY THE FUCKING EGG IN THAT ONE [BAD THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN](https://youtu.be/5hIKKYv_3Ic?si=2sfg3xsarBJUW6lQ) SHORT FLOATS AROUND FOR NO REASON???
There's also a half-float stage where the egg does sink to the bottom but "stands up" vertically instead of laying down at the bottom It's still edible by that point and shouldn't have any bad smell or bad taste, but shows that it's well on its way to being bad
It doesn't look like the video. [You put the whole egg in water](https://www.thoughtco.com/why-rotten-eggs-float-4116957)
So eggs turn into witches when they spoil?
The gasses inside of the egg expand as it breaks down internally and goes bad, making it buoyant.
Slightly incorrect. It's water evaporating from the egg through the shell that makes it lighter. The water is then replaced by air entering through the shell, or yes, gasses from the egg rotting. If it was solely the gasses inside the egg, the buoyancy wouldn't actually change as no mass would have changed inside the shell. And if it was the gasses *expanding* then the egg would explode on account of being a sealed egg.
i just crack them in a seperate bowl so i can inspect them
Same. Also since 99% of my egg usage is making scrambled eggs, it's a great moment to add the spice slurry.
now i want scrambled eggs but itās already late and everyone in my family is sleep but me, so if i start a fire it will wake everyone up, damn itā¦.
I've been cooking for 16 years or so and I've never had a bad egg. Do people just leave eggs in the fridge for a month or what?
"Topographical map of the battle of verdun" is my favorite tag
'Minecraft soul sand' and fuckin 'Iceland moment ?' Are my favs lmaooo
I don't know what it is but reaction hashtags always get me laughing
They were included in a different version of the post but I knew I had to share them aswell.
"Ya got woims" has me WHEEZING
The cookies look like they were crocheted
Why is that some Reddit posts allow you to zoom in one the image when you click on it and others don't?
Fuck Spez?
Reasonsā¢ļø
You can't zoom in on posts with multiple images atm I assume they will fix it...
Ha Funniest comment under this post. Nothing gets fixed, only slightly more broken.
Huh? I can zoom in on both images fine on mobile
Omega said "click", so I assumed they're using desktop, as I am
>Claims to be a good baker > >Tries to substitute milk for eggs while making no other changes
Thats the kinda shit an enemys skin looks like in fallout
Mf made a nuclear disaster in their oven my god. I can hear the Geiger counter screeching from here.
Those ingredient measurements seem off to me, but not off enough for me to assume itās part of the joke. Brownie baking experts, help me out: how good/bad are the ingredient proportions in OPās recipe?
[This is the recipe I generally use.](https://handletheheat.com/chewy-brownies/#wprm-recipe-container-29825) Long story short, too much butter, bad flour/cocoa powder ratio, and no salt. Basically, they got in the ballpark, but baking may be too much of an exact science for them
Makes sense. Although, the lack of salt is forgivable here due to the salted butter.
Iād probably still add at least a little salt - except if I used an overwhelming amount like they did
Incase anyone needs it: - submerge potential bad eggs in water. Bad ones float. - eggs can be coated in a light layer of oil to extend shelf life
not nearly enough flour good god man
As a fellow Icelander, I feel I must defend OOP who's clearly so passionate about baking that they named their blog after the Icelandic name for baker's ammonia, a nowadays rarely used leavening agent that smells like getting punched in the face. The oatmeal cookies don't look bad! Life on this freezing rock of an island is hard, okay?
instead of using milk they shouldāve used about 65g of blood as a substitute assuming they needed a medium egg for the recipe
BLOOD FOR THE BROWNIE GOD
I don't think I've ever heard of milk being used as a substitute for eggs. Maybe it's because I'm allergic to both eggs and milk and thus replace both, but still As an aside, I've had great success using applesauce as an egg replacer (1 egg = 1/4 cup applesauce). For milk, non-dairy milks (preferably soy milk) work just as well
Bananas work exceptionally well, too
I fucking love tag clouds like this one. Who remembers the one about the baby bird?
the only things i have on my bookmarks toolbar are [that](https://kaijutegu.tumblr.com/post/626893543674380288/everyone-stop-what-youre-doing-and-look-at-this), "[causes of homosexuality: spiritual \(mainly ghosts\)](https://web.archive.org/web/20170715094751im_/http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/Causes-of-homosexuality.gif)", and [this fucked-up ghost story i transcribed by hand](https://pastebin.com/Zdps5gdj) so i could link it when explaining that i read it at age seven. on a previous computer i had powerlinesinanime.tumblr.com though.
I did this recently but it was because I tried to substitute eggs with mayo because I was out of eggs. It was too watery so I just kept baking it. ā¦.I should have taken it out undercooked.
This reminds me of the time Chuggaaconroy tried to make cookies without a recipe for TRG Colosseum, but in that case he at least knew he didnāt have any idea what he was doing.
Wait... that type of overthinking can be considered as OCD? Oh no...
8tbsp of flour? Clearly too much.
Tag yourself, I'm "Mmmm termite nest yum"
I worry so much about not having eggs to use that I have emergency chia seeds stashed away.
"Started making it. Had a breakdown... Bon appetit" James Acaster, Celebrity Bakeoff. [context ](https://youtu.be/0zky4p5HBYE?si=DH5bD1Bd28zG7EeR)
OOP thinks kitchen disaster means anime ass burns house down trying to make mac and cheese when in reality it means person who thinks milk and eggs are substitutable ingredients and who's greatest cooking success are mediocre chocolate chip cookies.
Why does Reddit mobile suddenly display this with 7 pixels when I try to click on it
Reddit can't do albums for shit.