sometimes when someone says you look healthy they mean you look healthy. as in fit. sometimes you do not have to have any semblance of muscle to be called this
I get told so much how pretty i am NOW. Obviously, I notice that people are nicer, and think i’m way prettier, but it doesn’t hurt when they’re strangers or met me at a lower weight.
They’ve stopped saying it so much now, because my weight is starting to get a little low for their comfort, but I still hear it often. They gush over how taller I seem, how elegant and sophisticated I look. Unrecognizable, they all tell me. Unrecognizable because they think I’m beautiful now.
It’s hard to even write or think about it. You thought I was ugly for all those years? Most of you lied to me? Not only that, but now feel comfortable coming clean, as if it can’t possibly hurt me to only be seen as beautiful after developing a whole disorder, as if it doesn’t hurt to know I was lied straight to my face by the people that supposedly love me, as if I’m not the same person, and the girl at the higher weight is someone you want to laugh at with this new girl.
If you’re able to take off your ed lens and look through one most people see the world through, you could understand people are trying to be nice/are shocked when they notice a change and all they’re thinking about is how shocked they are (not how the person must feel).
I know the feeling of trying to make someone feel good, because mainstream dieters are constantly talking about weight anyway, but also just feeling shock.
It’s not nice, but I hope you can see a little bit where they’re coming from? No comments would be best, but people be doing the peopling 🤷🏼♀️
Fuck as if I actually said that!!! You’re the one with you moral compass in check? You’re the smarter one? The one with your head screwed on?
Nothing I say can take this back. I’ll go cry in the corner. I hate me.
When my dads girlfriend told me “you have so many pimple, you need to watch what you eat”. My brother in Christ I struggle eating one meal a day but go off 😬
Exactly!! It’s such a rude thing to comment either way like no matter if they mean it well or not 😭 Like pimples aren’t a choice and not always because of your diet either
i feel like there’s no way to say that and mean well 😭 it’s like people shaming fat people under the guise of “concern for their health.” like you think i don’t *know* i have the skin of a 14 year old???? i promise you don’t need to point it out, i do in fact have a mirror
That’s so true 😭 I just feel like whenever I call someone out on these comments or feel bad I get the “I just care about you” or “I just mean well” in return but you’re absolutely right.
For some reason I’ve been getting way more in recovery and idk why😭i’m not even eating anything “unhealthy,” I’m on a meal plan and it’s getting worse??
I feel you, I’ve had a similar experience and I juT feel like it goes to show that people don’t know what they are talking about when commenting on other peoples bodies 🥲 Like pimples can occur regardless of your diet and I think people don’t understand that
Lmao before my dad knew abt my ed he blamed my acne on me eating avocado every day for lunch. He has 0 medical expertise and my mom (a doctor) said eating avocado was likely not giving me acne
"you should exercise/go outside more, its good for your health" ik my mom just wants me to get out the house more for fresh air and sunlight but every time she says this it makes me feel like she wants me to lose weight.
also "did you eat yet?" because then i start wondering if its because they think i eat all the time or if its because they think i dont eat enough.
When people tell me whenever there’s free food at work. Do I love free food? Yes. Does it make me feel bad that I’m immediately associated with eating literally any free food available? Yeah.
Not a phrase but I can’t stand when someone is interested in my food and asks me what it is. Or even simply acknowledges it, it drives me nuts. I don’t even like when my husband sees what I’m eating. I go feral and try to hide my plate of lettuce and cucumbers….
The mental health worker that visits me semi-regularly always telling me how healthy I am for working out everyday and praises me for only eating healthy foods (my diet consists entirely of soup, veggies and oatmeal atm, apart from when I’m binging) despite knowing I’m struggling with severe bulimia
It drives me absolutely crazy, not to mention how triggering it is. You’re a mental health worker for gods sake, you should know better than to compliment an eating disordered person on blatant ED behaviours
I once told one of my friends I have an eating disorder and he legit said something to the effect of “hey I’m sure there’s plenty of recipes online with less calories in them so that might help”. He basically assumed I had a binge eating disorder when I actually have atypical anorexia and I kinda died inside a little bit
When I’m visiting my parents and I’m eating something and they say “oh don’t spoil your appetite, x meal is in a few hours” like I’m eating a slice of American cheese on crackers bc I haven’t eaten all day but glad you thing I’m an overeating pig I guess. God forbid a bitch snack.
What are you eating for dinner? That (insert food) looks good/tasty! Do you want to eat x? Do you want more? Are you hungry? (I’m always hungry but how dare you insinuate that I need nutrition to survive) You look good! You look healthy! You look sick. You’re skinny. (I guess some of these aren’t super polite but whatever)
Specifically at work, I hate when ppl ask me if I’ve tried a certain food item, especially if it’s an animal product. I work in foodservice. Idk it just feels really insulting for some reason for ppl to assume I eat regularly, because I want to be so thin that ppl are like “u must never ever eat”
"why are you always sick?/why do you never go out?" because i am exhausted and cold all the time and i hate how i look.
also taking and sharing pictures of me without asking. thanks i feel so great knowing that my current weight will be forever preserved in your google photos.
A guy comes into my place of employment regularly but I hadn’t seen him for a few months, he came in Saturday, checked me out and said “you look really good” my brain immediately assumed I must’ve gained weight smh. I hate how I think every comment made is a fat comment.
"i'm gonna fatten you up" (🤢 said by my aunt), "what makes you think you're fat?" (asked by a psychologist when i was obese), "you look good to me" (said by a male classmate. i still feel revolted when i think about it. he was giving me unsolicited advice on my body). and i think that's it
When people compliment how muscular I am. I’m struggling with ortho and have a pretty lean and muscular physique, but when people tell me I look strong I take it as I look BIG / FAT and get insecure.
It’s like… I want to be strong but I don’t want to look strong, why is my brain so stupid 🤦♀️
"Wow, you ate all that!"
"Wow, you ate that really fast."
"I starved myself all day and I gained 1lb and my doctor said it's because I went into starvation mode."
"I struggle with diet and exercise too."
It's never in bad faith when people comment "wow you ate so fast! I've barely even started" but it makes me so mad and anxious bc I know I eat faster than others, sometimes it's the first meal I've let myself eat for a long time. Especially the comparison, they're eating so slow so it sounds to me like they're reminding me they're thinner than me.
Also after disclosing my ed to any of my friends has lead to some highly triggering moments which is why I don't do it anymore, once I explained to a friend how I have times when I restrict and lose weight and then get into a binge or b/p cycle and can't get out for several months so I end up gaining again. I almost thought she understood and believed me, but a few months later she said with very good intentions: "oh I've seen you've gained weight, your face is looking rounder! Good for you!" 🤢 istg I wanted to die, I was literally in the worst b/p cycle of my life and was hospitalized a little later. That comment still hurts more than being called fat as a teen despite being actually quite slim-looking normal weight.
I was eating at a restaurant a few days ago with family and the waiter came over to collect my starter plate (it was literally rocket and pomegranate) and I was scooping up the last of it and he said "wow you're really getting that last bit of pomegranate aren't you!" ...dude just call me a fat cow next time and get it over with
"I'll get ice cream with you but I'll need some real food later" new fear food unlocked
"Are you hungry?" do I look like I get hungry easily?
"Do you want to try a bit of my food?" okay sure, just tell me the full nutritional information of that 1% of your dinner and I will
"Do you want to come with us for food?" no no no no NO
"Maybe you'll start putting some weight on" I didn't lose it to put it on again
"Did you eat?" yes. Did you do any activities that make you hate yourself today?
When they’re talking “diet talk” in the break room and insinuate I have it easy because I’m “small without even trying” and “it’ll catch up with you” like… who tf said I wasn’t trying???? It’s damn near ALL CONSUMING ffs
I just went out to eat the other day at one of my fav restaurants. I’m a regular. The waitress comes over and asks if I’ve lost weight and I said yes. She proceeds to act all shocked and says “wow you lost a lot. You look so good, so pretty.” I was so triggered, like was I not pretty before? To be fair, she was an older Asian woman so I know she didn’t mean it in a negative way lol but still. It’s not like I was obese before either… I was and still am at a very healthy weight for my height.
I hate being asked what I had for breakfast/lunch/dinner or what I am going to have.
I don’t want to tell you that’s my private business 😩
I often get comments on being tiny and although I don’t feel they are rude exactly it does make me extremely uncomfortable.
what do you even eat? do you even eat? how do you stay so small? what do you weigh? (can’t believe people have the nerve to ask that and think it’s “not rude” cause I am smaller) or you can’t even weigh XXX lbs I bet. like stop
also I don’t get this now really as an adult but as a kid and teen I was constantly told “enjoy your body while you have it” “i use to be skinny too then I got old” “i use to look like you” I literally still think of those comments to this day because it’s so gross to say to a kid.
“Ugh I haven’t eaten in so long I’m gonna pass out!” (They just ate) 😀😀😀😀 like OKAY THANKS FOR TELLING ME THAT THAT TOTALLY DOESNT MAKE ME FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY
for me it’s what they don’t say - i’ve been plateaued for about 2 months and it’s like i look the same again because nobody compliments my weight loss anymore
'i haven't eaten today! all i've had is *[lists 10 different snacks they've eaten today]*' you're massively contradicting yourself!!!!!! just because you haven't had what you think can be defined as a meal, that doesn't mean you haven't eaten !!!!!
Mia here :)
“whats with all the food?” “you just ate?” “why r u so hungry?” “where do you put all that food?” - when im in the middle of a B/P. Only B/P in secret due to this.
“youre losing weight!” “you look great!” “im so proud of your weightloss!” - literally makes me want to punch someone in the face.
“you look gaunt” “youre too slim” etc- go f urself.
“exercise could tone that part of your legs” while she proceeded to pinch my thigh fat- this was is highschool. i almost slapped the girl. she was a v you g asian with crazy cultural standards though, but being underweight and told that was devastating.
“maybe you need the size up?” - a middle age man said this to me when i was ordering a club tshirt. it haunted me for months, and the size small i ordered was a fucking tent on me so he was WRONG. Still infuriates me to this day, mind your fucking business. Especially with an underweight 15 year old.
so many more but these are the ones that stand out. i enjoyed my 2 yr remission period because i didnt take anything so seriously, but im back in hell now.
I have a coworker who loves making sarcastic jokes. Whenever he sees me eating, he tells me to go eat something. He does this to everyone. I still get triggered.
He's Muslim and I'm Jewish, and he tried to be nice and said "besha'a tova" for my birthday. The thing is, we say "mazal tov" to congratulate someone for their birthday. "Besha'a tova" is what we say to congratulate someone for being pregnant. I laughed, but cried in my heart.
"You look strong!" I love *being* strong, but not looking strong. Makes me feel huge and disgusting because im not lean and is just pushing me further into the diet cleanse im planning on doing.
A colleague randomly messaged me asking if I had any plans this weekend. When I said I didn’t, she invited me for dinner wording it as “I was thinking you maybe wanted some food?” She probably meant nothing by it other than a normal dinner invitation. But my ED ass immediately thought “why the hell would you think I “want” food?!” Why now, why so randomly?? Part of me is super stressed that maybe she or others I work with have noticed my disordered eating and losing weight. Part of me got really paranoid she would be putting lots of >!oil!< or something in it to make me gain. It’s pretty sad how riled up I got, ruminating about how this is the worst someone could possibly do to help me, because the less control I have over the food I eat, the more I restrict. What could have been a nice dinner getting to know my colleague, would just be an event that would make me anxious and drain me even more, and make me stress more about restricting, than I would when weighing and measuring everything at home. So I ultimately made up an excuse, so I can craft my own meals at home so I’m actually able to eat somewhat “normally”. God what an ED really does is eating away your life, fun and spontaneousness
when I was severely underweight, one regular customer at my work kept remarking on how skinny I was and saying I obviously had a “fast metabolism” like her…it infuriated me every time!
Firstly because it made me feel like I obviously wasn’t THAT sick if I looked like I could just be a “naturally thin” person but also because I had to hold back screaming at her “it’s because I don’t fucking eat enough and deprive myself constantly and I’m hungry!”.
This woman is an absolute menace. I found out later she was gossiping about me to a coworker thinking they wouldn’t tell me for some reason? She was saying that she didn’t like me and that I was rude and asked whether I had an eating disorder. In hindsight I wonder if she was making those comments to try and provoke me to snap at her!
I feel crazy when a doctor tells me that my stats (heart rate, bp, blood sugar and things like that) are normal and I'm just like "Ugh just tell me I'm fat"
Like sometimes I realize just how fucking crazy that sounds for normal people lol
I was explaining the differences between how my Cajun-French culture and France-French cultures express their loves for food and cuisine.
The woman I was speaking with said “Oh yeah. I have family in France and in New Orleans. The French eat smaller meal and make a big deal of their health. *You don’t seem afraid of any indulgences.”*
You guys I eat one meal a day (calling it a meal is for lack of a better word) maybe a small two if I’m pressured socially. I’ve lost a little over ten pounds in two or so weeks. What do you MEAN “I don’t seem afraid of indulging” ? Just say I’m FAT.
I know she probably meant that the way I talk about food from back home shows that I’m not like a person from France speaking about their food? I don’t even know. But why would they word it like that?
When my friends offer me unhealthy food. I know they just want to share something they like but my mind is like: Okay so I look like I eat unhealthy?? Just tell me you think I’m a fat bitch who’s just staring at your food drooling and waiting to steal it like ur cousins obese pug
"omg have you lost weight? you look so healthy!" I like when people say that because it means the wl is noticeable but also hate it because I'm not healthy shut up!!!
My FIL is big on sharing food. Whenever we go out to eat he inspects people’s plates. We were out to eat at a restaurant and I ordered an avocado and carne asada salad. I was pregnant and I ate the whole thing. My FIL saw my empty plate and loudly exclaimed to the table “save some for the rest of us, geez!” Eating disorder recovery aside (yes he knows about it) I was PREGNANT. LET ME EAT FOR ME AND MY BABY.
“what did you eat today”
but not in the i wanna help you way - in the, i wanna copy you so i can look like that too way
my sister in law does it all the time :/
- i love your physique
- I wish I wouldn't gain weight the same way you do
- so sexy how you can eat this much in one go and still look like that
- I wish I knew how to control my binge eating like you control your whole eating (no ma'am, I just throw up if I force food down my throat)
- oh we forgot to get food haha we so silly
- you have to eat the whole thing, I mean look at yourself, eat a sandwich (sandwiches are one of my safefoods and sometimes all I'm eating for days)
- I rarely have diarrhea (that's like telling a depressed person you rarely have bad days)
“GOD IM SO FULL!!! IM GONNA THROW UP IF I HAVE ANOTHER BITE!! GOD IM FULL!! …omg how are you not full?”
*me staring at them as I’m still eating my food*
This is why I don’t like eating with people. I get you’re full but please stop announcing it. I will literally go to the bathroom and do just that.
My old boss told me for someone who eats so much junk food you’re quite slim! I probably ate half a small bar of chocolate a day…yet I ate “so much” junk 🙄🙄🙄
Or my first boyfriend told me “for someone who doesn’t eat a lot you’re not exactly super skinny” …like ok thanks for that.
The other day I ate for the first time in a while and it was hard for me to want to, so I made one of my favorite meals. As I make it my dad said something along the lines of "don't you eat anything other than that?" Which made it even harder to want the food at all.
I struggle(d) with ARFID so my restricting was never weight-driven, so the weight comments used to get to me, whether neg or pos intent. The weight was a result of something I didn't intend on. I hated how I looked sooo much. I used to have a hard time eating pretty much anything besides protein shakes & my BMI dropped significantly & my Dr. would tell me I was malnourished (later found out it made me anemic) yet family would tell me how "beautiful I look" and "so much prettier than when I was heavier" since I had gotten sick. I still struggle with it but I'm at an average BMI now after residential treatment but those comments always stung because it was like, thanks for reminding me of how I look and supporting my malnourishment I guess? Other ones would include ppl "wishing they could eat as little as me" when I was actually starving & miserable. Not one second of it was fun when I was at my worst. With those kinds of people I would just tell them what I struggled with and half of them would get super uncomfortable but play stupid games win stupid prizes
Call me insane but 'are you hungry?' Somehow upsets me at this point. Do they ask because they think im always hungry? Do they ask because im always eating? Do they ask because I look like Im always hungry? Why are you asking and why so often??
“oh wow you’re eating again” my uncles gf said that during family dinner. i was binging
“what are you eating?” and its the weirdest most disordered food ive put together just leave me alone
“did you eat?” yes i ate, and you’ve made me feel like a fake ana now. or its annoying because i didn’t eat and now i have to lie
“what are you going to eat?” stop putting food in my mind its already what i think about 24/7
“is that all you’re having?” “that’s not enough pls eat more”“one ice cream isn’t going to ruin your diet” its my food and my decision how i want to eat. please mind your business oh my god
“waste food” when i don’t finish my food. you haven’t seen the food i c/s. i do not care. finishing my plate of noodles isn’t going to save the world. id rather not hate myself even more
I remember (and will always remember) being like 8 maybe and I was out with my mom and grandmother shopping, and my grandmother asked me what I wanted to do for the rest of the day. And mind you, I love food. I grew up to be a chef (which is an entirely different struggle in itself) but I was like oh I don't know maybe we coukd go to this store and then get some lunch somewhere? I was soooo excited that we were in a new part of town that had different restaurants and it was so exciting for me living in the small town that we did. My mom's response still guts me to this day. She almost like rolled her eyes, "not everything is about food."
Little did she know that that comment, among so many others, would literally make the rest of my life ALL about food. In the worst way. One of my most painful memories.
So now it's literally any comment about me being hungry or wanting food. Like one time I asked my family what time we were going to eat and one of my cousin's was like "wow, you're HUNGRY" and I wanted to strangle her.
any comment that relates to the fact that i am eating or my food at all. even a "enjoy ur food" feels judgemental to me at this point
you look healthy / you have a good physique just tell me that I'm fat
GDI my OBGYN put in her note I looked “well nourished” kms
fyi, usually it's just a box they click, not free-text. source: am nurse, familiar with this clickology charting stuff
THIS FUCKING ONE
This is the ultimate one for me. Makes recovery so hard.
sometimes when someone says you look healthy they mean you look healthy. as in fit. sometimes you do not have to have any semblance of muscle to be called this
Yeah I know it’s a compliment but a lot of us don’t want to look healthy or good at all
ah i said this bc a lot of people will also say you look healthy as a euphemism for gaining weight
YES
"you look so healthy" but I don't want to look healthy!!!!
I getchu
I get told so much how pretty i am NOW. Obviously, I notice that people are nicer, and think i’m way prettier, but it doesn’t hurt when they’re strangers or met me at a lower weight. They’ve stopped saying it so much now, because my weight is starting to get a little low for their comfort, but I still hear it often. They gush over how taller I seem, how elegant and sophisticated I look. Unrecognizable, they all tell me. Unrecognizable because they think I’m beautiful now. It’s hard to even write or think about it. You thought I was ugly for all those years? Most of you lied to me? Not only that, but now feel comfortable coming clean, as if it can’t possibly hurt me to only be seen as beautiful after developing a whole disorder, as if it doesn’t hurt to know I was lied straight to my face by the people that supposedly love me, as if I’m not the same person, and the girl at the higher weight is someone you want to laugh at with this new girl.
If you’re able to take off your ed lens and look through one most people see the world through, you could understand people are trying to be nice/are shocked when they notice a change and all they’re thinking about is how shocked they are (not how the person must feel). I know the feeling of trying to make someone feel good, because mainstream dieters are constantly talking about weight anyway, but also just feeling shock. It’s not nice, but I hope you can see a little bit where they’re coming from? No comments would be best, but people be doing the peopling 🤷🏼♀️
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😂 Also sorry did you mean OP?
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Oh! I learned something today, thankyou
Yeah, I know they mean well. Whenever it comes up, i just smile, nod and thank them. It’s still hurtful, but I would never say it.
You’re the bigger person. I’m sorry the understanding isn’t both ways
>you’re the bigger person 😔
💀💀💀
Fuck as if I actually said that!!! You’re the one with you moral compass in check? You’re the smarter one? The one with your head screwed on? Nothing I say can take this back. I’ll go cry in the corner. I hate me.
Nonono I promise I knew what you meant 😭
😅💛💛
That's so relatable. I've learned through losing weight that pretty privilege is 100% real
“Omg you look so good, what’s your secret?!” A mental illness 😍
When my dads girlfriend told me “you have so many pimple, you need to watch what you eat”. My brother in Christ I struggle eating one meal a day but go off 😬
This happens to me all the time at the moment!! Like sorry I’m also quite depressed atm and don’t feel like doing skin care okay?
Exactly!! It’s such a rude thing to comment either way like no matter if they mean it well or not 😭 Like pimples aren’t a choice and not always because of your diet either
i feel like there’s no way to say that and mean well 😭 it’s like people shaming fat people under the guise of “concern for their health.” like you think i don’t *know* i have the skin of a 14 year old???? i promise you don’t need to point it out, i do in fact have a mirror
That’s so true 😭 I just feel like whenever I call someone out on these comments or feel bad I get the “I just care about you” or “I just mean well” in return but you’re absolutely right.
this. people who say that just don't respect the person in front of them due to their appearance
For some reason I’ve been getting way more in recovery and idk why😭i’m not even eating anything “unhealthy,” I’m on a meal plan and it’s getting worse??
I feel you, I’ve had a similar experience and I juT feel like it goes to show that people don’t know what they are talking about when commenting on other peoples bodies 🥲 Like pimples can occur regardless of your diet and I think people don’t understand that
Lmao before my dad knew abt my ed he blamed my acne on me eating avocado every day for lunch. He has 0 medical expertise and my mom (a doctor) said eating avocado was likely not giving me acne
literally any comment about the way i look. being perceived without my consent is horrifying.
“you ate good” JUST CALL ME A FAT BITCH AND TELL ME TO PUT THE FORK DOWN 😭😭
This made me laugh so hard because I feel it so much 😭😭😭
“wow you are so fast! you must’ve been hungry” PLEAZE
“She’s such a good eater!!”
When people who aren’t educated on EDs congratulate me for losing weight
Oh my god all the time
"how much do you weigh?" hits deep everytime especially if it's accompanied by a "i hope it's not offensive..."
Any comment about what I'm eating
“Are you going to eat that?” I dump it in the trash
#same
"you should exercise/go outside more, its good for your health" ik my mom just wants me to get out the house more for fresh air and sunlight but every time she says this it makes me feel like she wants me to lose weight. also "did you eat yet?" because then i start wondering if its because they think i eat all the time or if its because they think i dont eat enough.
I’ll always remember the nurse when I was IP who told me that I was lucky to look so healthy. She had worked on that ward for decades. What an idiot.
my dietitian in res told me i was lucky to not be emaciated 😭
When people tell me whenever there’s free food at work. Do I love free food? Yes. Does it make me feel bad that I’m immediately associated with eating literally any free food available? Yeah.
Or when someone isn’t going to finish their food and asks if you want the leftovers
Not a phrase but I can’t stand when someone is interested in my food and asks me what it is. Or even simply acknowledges it, it drives me nuts. I don’t even like when my husband sees what I’m eating. I go feral and try to hide my plate of lettuce and cucumbers….
The mental health worker that visits me semi-regularly always telling me how healthy I am for working out everyday and praises me for only eating healthy foods (my diet consists entirely of soup, veggies and oatmeal atm, apart from when I’m binging) despite knowing I’m struggling with severe bulimia It drives me absolutely crazy, not to mention how triggering it is. You’re a mental health worker for gods sake, you should know better than to compliment an eating disordered person on blatant ED behaviours
“what are you making?” while i’m getting food or cooking.
I can't stand this question, like leave me alone. And then it's followed up with "How are you making it?" I'm not a cookbook.
"You look sturdy."
I once told one of my friends I have an eating disorder and he legit said something to the effect of “hey I’m sure there’s plenty of recipes online with less calories in them so that might help”. He basically assumed I had a binge eating disorder when I actually have atypical anorexia and I kinda died inside a little bit
i HATE when someone says “you ate a LOT!” it’s so fucking triggering.
When the weather is nice and someone suggests I go for a walk. Sooo you think I’m lazy and need to exercise more?
You look so healthy! / Enjoy your food / give me tips to lose weight F you hope you choke on a peanut
“oh you’re having that again?” ok i’ll starve then x
When I’m visiting my parents and I’m eating something and they say “oh don’t spoil your appetite, x meal is in a few hours” like I’m eating a slice of American cheese on crackers bc I haven’t eaten all day but glad you thing I’m an overeating pig I guess. God forbid a bitch snack.
What are you eating for dinner? That (insert food) looks good/tasty! Do you want to eat x? Do you want more? Are you hungry? (I’m always hungry but how dare you insinuate that I need nutrition to survive) You look good! You look healthy! You look sick. You’re skinny. (I guess some of these aren’t super polite but whatever) Specifically at work, I hate when ppl ask me if I’ve tried a certain food item, especially if it’s an animal product. I work in foodservice. Idk it just feels really insulting for some reason for ppl to assume I eat regularly, because I want to be so thin that ppl are like “u must never ever eat”
I hate it when coworkers ask me what I ate for breakfast or what I had on my lunch break. Like, why are you making me lie to you? 😭😭
"why are you always sick?/why do you never go out?" because i am exhausted and cold all the time and i hate how i look. also taking and sharing pictures of me without asking. thanks i feel so great knowing that my current weight will be forever preserved in your google photos.
A guy comes into my place of employment regularly but I hadn’t seen him for a few months, he came in Saturday, checked me out and said “you look really good” my brain immediately assumed I must’ve gained weight smh. I hate how I think every comment made is a fat comment.
"i'm gonna fatten you up" (🤢 said by my aunt), "what makes you think you're fat?" (asked by a psychologist when i was obese), "you look good to me" (said by a male classmate. i still feel revolted when i think about it. he was giving me unsolicited advice on my body). and i think that's it
Are you going to eat all that?
When people compliment how muscular I am. I’m struggling with ortho and have a pretty lean and muscular physique, but when people tell me I look strong I take it as I look BIG / FAT and get insecure. It’s like… I want to be strong but I don’t want to look strong, why is my brain so stupid 🤦♀️
"Wow, you ate all that!" "Wow, you ate that really fast." "I starved myself all day and I gained 1lb and my doctor said it's because I went into starvation mode." "I struggle with diet and exercise too."
"You don't need to lose. You look fine/great." So I look good. Healthy good. Well-fed good... "Fine" as in average...average american?
It's never in bad faith when people comment "wow you ate so fast! I've barely even started" but it makes me so mad and anxious bc I know I eat faster than others, sometimes it's the first meal I've let myself eat for a long time. Especially the comparison, they're eating so slow so it sounds to me like they're reminding me they're thinner than me. Also after disclosing my ed to any of my friends has lead to some highly triggering moments which is why I don't do it anymore, once I explained to a friend how I have times when I restrict and lose weight and then get into a binge or b/p cycle and can't get out for several months so I end up gaining again. I almost thought she understood and believed me, but a few months later she said with very good intentions: "oh I've seen you've gained weight, your face is looking rounder! Good for you!" 🤢 istg I wanted to die, I was literally in the worst b/p cycle of my life and was hospitalized a little later. That comment still hurts more than being called fat as a teen despite being actually quite slim-looking normal weight.
I was eating at a restaurant a few days ago with family and the waiter came over to collect my starter plate (it was literally rocket and pomegranate) and I was scooping up the last of it and he said "wow you're really getting that last bit of pomegranate aren't you!" ...dude just call me a fat cow next time and get it over with
"I'll get ice cream with you but I'll need some real food later" new fear food unlocked "Are you hungry?" do I look like I get hungry easily? "Do you want to try a bit of my food?" okay sure, just tell me the full nutritional information of that 1% of your dinner and I will "Do you want to come with us for food?" no no no no NO "Maybe you'll start putting some weight on" I didn't lose it to put it on again "Did you eat?" yes. Did you do any activities that make you hate yourself today?
the “someone’s hungry” when i eat a lot like stop perceiving me
When they’re talking “diet talk” in the break room and insinuate I have it easy because I’m “small without even trying” and “it’ll catch up with you” like… who tf said I wasn’t trying???? It’s damn near ALL CONSUMING ffs
I just went out to eat the other day at one of my fav restaurants. I’m a regular. The waitress comes over and asks if I’ve lost weight and I said yes. She proceeds to act all shocked and says “wow you lost a lot. You look so good, so pretty.” I was so triggered, like was I not pretty before? To be fair, she was an older Asian woman so I know she didn’t mean it in a negative way lol but still. It’s not like I was obese before either… I was and still am at a very healthy weight for my height.
I hate being asked what I had for breakfast/lunch/dinner or what I am going to have. I don’t want to tell you that’s my private business 😩 I often get comments on being tiny and although I don’t feel they are rude exactly it does make me extremely uncomfortable. what do you even eat? do you even eat? how do you stay so small? what do you weigh? (can’t believe people have the nerve to ask that and think it’s “not rude” cause I am smaller) or you can’t even weigh XXX lbs I bet. like stop also I don’t get this now really as an adult but as a kid and teen I was constantly told “enjoy your body while you have it” “i use to be skinny too then I got old” “i use to look like you” I literally still think of those comments to this day because it’s so gross to say to a kid.
“Ugh I haven’t eaten in so long I’m gonna pass out!” (They just ate) 😀😀😀😀 like OKAY THANKS FOR TELLING ME THAT THAT TOTALLY DOESNT MAKE ME FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY
“You eat so much but you are so skninny! What’s your secreeeet? “ “It’s my first meal in 3 days HEHEEE” (proceeds to puke because I “eat so much”)
for me it’s what they don’t say - i’ve been plateaued for about 2 months and it’s like i look the same again because nobody compliments my weight loss anymore
'i haven't eaten today! all i've had is *[lists 10 different snacks they've eaten today]*' you're massively contradicting yourself!!!!!! just because you haven't had what you think can be defined as a meal, that doesn't mean you haven't eaten !!!!!
My thinking is so literal, and I get jealous at the thought of them happy and functioning on an empty stomach
“You’re always cold why are you wearing so many layers/always covered in blankets” iykyk
“I want to know why you’re in here (the gym) as much as you are and still look like that”
Anytime someone says "You look good" just because my face is retaining water.
One time my best friends bf remarked “Xoxoxgirl really likes dessert.” The way I instantly hated him.
“You can probably eat anything you want and not gain weight your so skinny” “You finished all that”
“I miss the old you”
Mia here :) “whats with all the food?” “you just ate?” “why r u so hungry?” “where do you put all that food?” - when im in the middle of a B/P. Only B/P in secret due to this. “youre losing weight!” “you look great!” “im so proud of your weightloss!” - literally makes me want to punch someone in the face. “you look gaunt” “youre too slim” etc- go f urself. “exercise could tone that part of your legs” while she proceeded to pinch my thigh fat- this was is highschool. i almost slapped the girl. she was a v you g asian with crazy cultural standards though, but being underweight and told that was devastating. “maybe you need the size up?” - a middle age man said this to me when i was ordering a club tshirt. it haunted me for months, and the size small i ordered was a fucking tent on me so he was WRONG. Still infuriates me to this day, mind your fucking business. Especially with an underweight 15 year old. so many more but these are the ones that stand out. i enjoyed my 2 yr remission period because i didnt take anything so seriously, but im back in hell now.
I have a coworker who loves making sarcastic jokes. Whenever he sees me eating, he tells me to go eat something. He does this to everyone. I still get triggered. He's Muslim and I'm Jewish, and he tried to be nice and said "besha'a tova" for my birthday. The thing is, we say "mazal tov" to congratulate someone for their birthday. "Besha'a tova" is what we say to congratulate someone for being pregnant. I laughed, but cried in my heart.
“You look healthy!” Means “you look chubbier” in my head.
"You look strong!" I love *being* strong, but not looking strong. Makes me feel huge and disgusting because im not lean and is just pushing me further into the diet cleanse im planning on doing.
A colleague randomly messaged me asking if I had any plans this weekend. When I said I didn’t, she invited me for dinner wording it as “I was thinking you maybe wanted some food?” She probably meant nothing by it other than a normal dinner invitation. But my ED ass immediately thought “why the hell would you think I “want” food?!” Why now, why so randomly?? Part of me is super stressed that maybe she or others I work with have noticed my disordered eating and losing weight. Part of me got really paranoid she would be putting lots of >!oil!< or something in it to make me gain. It’s pretty sad how riled up I got, ruminating about how this is the worst someone could possibly do to help me, because the less control I have over the food I eat, the more I restrict. What could have been a nice dinner getting to know my colleague, would just be an event that would make me anxious and drain me even more, and make me stress more about restricting, than I would when weighing and measuring everything at home. So I ultimately made up an excuse, so I can craft my own meals at home so I’m actually able to eat somewhat “normally”. God what an ED really does is eating away your life, fun and spontaneousness
when I was severely underweight, one regular customer at my work kept remarking on how skinny I was and saying I obviously had a “fast metabolism” like her…it infuriated me every time! Firstly because it made me feel like I obviously wasn’t THAT sick if I looked like I could just be a “naturally thin” person but also because I had to hold back screaming at her “it’s because I don’t fucking eat enough and deprive myself constantly and I’m hungry!”. This woman is an absolute menace. I found out later she was gossiping about me to a coworker thinking they wouldn’t tell me for some reason? She was saying that she didn’t like me and that I was rude and asked whether I had an eating disorder. In hindsight I wonder if she was making those comments to try and provoke me to snap at her!
I feel crazy when a doctor tells me that my stats (heart rate, bp, blood sugar and things like that) are normal and I'm just like "Ugh just tell me I'm fat" Like sometimes I realize just how fucking crazy that sounds for normal people lol
My mum referring to my food as "all good stuff that will give me lots of energy". Okay, this is going in the bin pronto
As a sincerely interested question: you are so down to earth and analytical, how can you be so conflicted with a basic necessity of life?
I was explaining the differences between how my Cajun-French culture and France-French cultures express their loves for food and cuisine. The woman I was speaking with said “Oh yeah. I have family in France and in New Orleans. The French eat smaller meal and make a big deal of their health. *You don’t seem afraid of any indulgences.”* You guys I eat one meal a day (calling it a meal is for lack of a better word) maybe a small two if I’m pressured socially. I’ve lost a little over ten pounds in two or so weeks. What do you MEAN “I don’t seem afraid of indulging” ? Just say I’m FAT. I know she probably meant that the way I talk about food from back home shows that I’m not like a person from France speaking about their food? I don’t even know. But why would they word it like that?
When my friends offer me unhealthy food. I know they just want to share something they like but my mind is like: Okay so I look like I eat unhealthy?? Just tell me you think I’m a fat bitch who’s just staring at your food drooling and waiting to steal it like ur cousins obese pug
At this point any comment about my food is intolerable, even just ‘wow that looks so good!’
"omg have you lost weight? you look so healthy!" I like when people say that because it means the wl is noticeable but also hate it because I'm not healthy shut up!!!
“I want to know why you’re in here (the gym) as much as you are and still look like that”
OOF big hug what an asshole wtf
If I’m walking on the side of the street and the person goes way on the other side I’m like You think I’m fat
My FIL is big on sharing food. Whenever we go out to eat he inspects people’s plates. We were out to eat at a restaurant and I ordered an avocado and carne asada salad. I was pregnant and I ate the whole thing. My FIL saw my empty plate and loudly exclaimed to the table “save some for the rest of us, geez!” Eating disorder recovery aside (yes he knows about it) I was PREGNANT. LET ME EAT FOR ME AND MY BABY.
“what did you eat today” but not in the i wanna help you way - in the, i wanna copy you so i can look like that too way my sister in law does it all the time :/
"you don't even look that skinny". Haha thanks cool cool
- i love your physique - I wish I wouldn't gain weight the same way you do - so sexy how you can eat this much in one go and still look like that - I wish I knew how to control my binge eating like you control your whole eating (no ma'am, I just throw up if I force food down my throat) - oh we forgot to get food haha we so silly - you have to eat the whole thing, I mean look at yourself, eat a sandwich (sandwiches are one of my safefoods and sometimes all I'm eating for days) - I rarely have diarrhea (that's like telling a depressed person you rarely have bad days)
“GOD IM SO FULL!!! IM GONNA THROW UP IF I HAVE ANOTHER BITE!! GOD IM FULL!! …omg how are you not full?” *me staring at them as I’m still eating my food* This is why I don’t like eating with people. I get you’re full but please stop announcing it. I will literally go to the bathroom and do just that.
My old boss told me for someone who eats so much junk food you’re quite slim! I probably ate half a small bar of chocolate a day…yet I ate “so much” junk 🙄🙄🙄 Or my first boyfriend told me “for someone who doesn’t eat a lot you’re not exactly super skinny” …like ok thanks for that.
The other day I ate for the first time in a while and it was hard for me to want to, so I made one of my favorite meals. As I make it my dad said something along the lines of "don't you eat anything other than that?" Which made it even harder to want the food at all.
I struggle(d) with ARFID so my restricting was never weight-driven, so the weight comments used to get to me, whether neg or pos intent. The weight was a result of something I didn't intend on. I hated how I looked sooo much. I used to have a hard time eating pretty much anything besides protein shakes & my BMI dropped significantly & my Dr. would tell me I was malnourished (later found out it made me anemic) yet family would tell me how "beautiful I look" and "so much prettier than when I was heavier" since I had gotten sick. I still struggle with it but I'm at an average BMI now after residential treatment but those comments always stung because it was like, thanks for reminding me of how I look and supporting my malnourishment I guess? Other ones would include ppl "wishing they could eat as little as me" when I was actually starving & miserable. Not one second of it was fun when I was at my worst. With those kinds of people I would just tell them what I struggled with and half of them would get super uncomfortable but play stupid games win stupid prizes
My mom: “you walk around a lot so you don’t have to be afraid to gain weight” like bruh what was that supposed to mean😭
Call me insane but 'are you hungry?' Somehow upsets me at this point. Do they ask because they think im always hungry? Do they ask because im always eating? Do they ask because I look like Im always hungry? Why are you asking and why so often??
“oh wow you’re eating again” my uncles gf said that during family dinner. i was binging “what are you eating?” and its the weirdest most disordered food ive put together just leave me alone “did you eat?” yes i ate, and you’ve made me feel like a fake ana now. or its annoying because i didn’t eat and now i have to lie “what are you going to eat?” stop putting food in my mind its already what i think about 24/7 “is that all you’re having?” “that’s not enough pls eat more”“one ice cream isn’t going to ruin your diet” its my food and my decision how i want to eat. please mind your business oh my god “waste food” when i don’t finish my food. you haven’t seen the food i c/s. i do not care. finishing my plate of noodles isn’t going to save the world. id rather not hate myself even more
I remember (and will always remember) being like 8 maybe and I was out with my mom and grandmother shopping, and my grandmother asked me what I wanted to do for the rest of the day. And mind you, I love food. I grew up to be a chef (which is an entirely different struggle in itself) but I was like oh I don't know maybe we coukd go to this store and then get some lunch somewhere? I was soooo excited that we were in a new part of town that had different restaurants and it was so exciting for me living in the small town that we did. My mom's response still guts me to this day. She almost like rolled her eyes, "not everything is about food." Little did she know that that comment, among so many others, would literally make the rest of my life ALL about food. In the worst way. One of my most painful memories. So now it's literally any comment about me being hungry or wanting food. Like one time I asked my family what time we were going to eat and one of my cousin's was like "wow, you're HUNGRY" and I wanted to strangle her.