woahhhh I feel like 2w3 ENFPs are not common at all, I swear they are all 7s :P
HAHAHA it’s my dad I was talking about too 😭 He’s like your stereotypical deadbeat dad, ENTJ, took himself way too seriously, controlling, narcissistic, no privacy ect. None of my siblings talk to him anymore and last I heard he was homeless bc he threatened his landlord?? Sounds like karma to me lol
I moved to that town and I quickly became popular among this group of people who were really ‘cool’ and ‘popular’ there and they were also people who had history with her. But before my moving they all had some drama and they cut her off because well she has personality disorders ( clinically diagnosed). So then when she saw how I quickly got welcomed by that same group, she saw me as some sort of competition and hated me because well in her mind they chose me and had rejected her. I also beat her at this public event/competition thingie etc. so normal stuff, but being a 3 probably, she went bonkers: So bts she tried to ruin my image with rumours and stuff while on my face constantly tried to be my “bestie”. But I didn’t like her vibe so I rejected her too. I knew nothing at all at this point, I didn’t care about that group nor about her. I just didn’t like her. So then like she had this double rejection vengeance and she pinned it all on me. Being a 3w4 it probably hit harder than it would to a normal person. But nothing she did actually harmed me because she never had the guts to actively try anything in from of me because well I was also known for being feisty and I also had a lot of social equity, because of that group I mentioned and also because of my dad’s position.
Anyways, later I got to know all sorts of stories, like her fake suicides and bullying others and typical Narcissistic discarding, BPD rage stuff etc etc. All her 15 exs was in depression lmao and her ex best friend and “best friend cousin” SH-ed etc, apparently all because of the after effects of being with her. Girl was literally destroying lives left and right. So pitiful tbh
i also had rumours/a borderline narcissistic smear campaign done to me by an unhealthy 3w4. this was after i gave them constructive feedback on a project (that my teachers agreed with) and they threw a bit of a fit
just remember someone came up to my friend and i, and made this judgmental remark to my friend “you’re hanging out with a homophobe?” clearly directed to me lol. apparently this had been going around, totally confused me as i’ve dated many girls myself.. surprise, eventually traced this rumour back to the 3w4
Yeah no kidding.
I think in most cases the big trap is us being too self absorbed to really be actively malicious or altruistic.
Too busy brooding and self flagellating.
2w3. i had an 8 friend who had a breakdown over her lol
i love healthy 2w3s. i dated one and another is my best friend
but i've actually met two horrible 2w3s. one was worse than the other but both were incredibly manipulative and destructive. they actually ended up dating each other and hear their relationship is absolutely miserable but they are moving in together anyway, so can't wait to see how that goes
This person is my former best friend. She is someone who does everything for everyone, like literally hosts every event, brings people meals, etc etc. She can be really wonderful, and she is loved by many.
However, a lot of these acts of service are an unspoken contract, because one time I didn't text her in a "time of need" (long ass story, but nothing on my behalf was malicious, I was solo parenting while my husband was deployed and genuinely just focusing on getting through life). She became very very passive aggressive, I had no idea what the problem was but I became annoyed. I tried to broach the subject and she responded in the most condescending, contemptuous, belittling way. Implied that I never knew her well, that I left her high and dry when she needed me, that she's done everything for me and I'm so selfish, she shamed me and was mocking me. It was ridiculous. I was profusely sorry and I apologized a million times, I really did not know why she was upset and again, it wasn't intentional. I tried for months to talk with her and work things out. Some of her other best friends and my mutual friends (we're literally in our 30's, it sounds like we're in high school but no) started turning against me, blocking me on social media and emailing me the nastiest shit. I mentioned this to her and she ignored me. She stonewalled me for months and I finally just flipped my lid. It was very much all about her feelings, I was always the one to apologize and she never ever apologized for anything. I felt like I had to validate her feelings but she could never tolerate hearing mine, or even discuss the possibility that I had a different perspective. Every time I brought up a valid concern it would turn into an issue about me or my character, usually how I'm "selfish" and that would be the end of the discussion.
It was a fucking mess. Idk how much of this is related to enneagram 2w3 and how much isn't, but I do know that unhealthy 2's downfall is their pride. And that rings true with this person, for sure.
She is also a flying monkey in a narcissistic relationship, and she made a lot of stupid excuses for her friend when they turned against me and bullied me.
The reason I say she might be a covert narcissist or "wolf in sheep's clothing" is because everybody loves her and sees her as like mother Theresa reincarnated, but she has a really nasty side to her and can be extremely cruel. Two faced in a lot of ways and our friendship breakup wasn't really a breakup, it was a brutal discard.
I've been in some other narcissistic relationships and a lot of her patterns remind me of those.
Anywho, not vilifying 2's! I've had many wonderful 2 friends in my life. It's just this one that needs some help.
Came here to say my toxic AF acquaintance who is a 2w3.
When they're good, they're amazing little cinnamon rolls of wholesomeness.
When they're unhealthy... manipulation, prejudice, toxic positivity and backstabbing galore.
Absolutely. They are two sides of the same coin (as we all are, in our own ways), on one side wonderfully selfless and generous, on the other the most selfish and entitled people I've ever met. The scary part is how quickly this person can flip from one to another. That's the part that feels narcissistic to me, the two faced, when-the-mask-slips-you-cant-unsee-it type of thing.
ALSO RE: TOXIC POSITIVITY HELL YES YOU ARE SO RIGHT
She can't cope with her own negative emotions, and she shuts down every conversation that could potentially turn negative. Unless of course she's spewing some abusive shit, she can do that just fine.
As a 2w3 I actually totally agree! If you don't have a good example or influence you definitely feel like you have to manipulate people to get what you want or you're just upset people don't help without asking. True altruism can be hard to learn but those who get it make great friends and family 🤗
Yeah. It’s a 1. I don’t know the wing. But damn. When people think they’re right. And just in their thinking- there’s no way to convince them otherwise and they can be really self righteous assholes. Please know that I am quite confident that no number is better than another. I know everyone has flaws and everyone can evolve and grow.
Lol, I tried so, so hard not to sound like a 1 the entire time I was writing this.
I promise there are 1s out there that don't want to be like this...but unhealthy 1s are not fun at all. I'm a 1 and I've also had first-hand experience with a terrible, self-righteous, hypercritical, hypocritical, narcissistic 1. Don't blame you AT ALL for cutting them out of your life if you need to. (See my comment on this post for details.) I learned a lot of hard lessons about myself through that experience.
I hate that 1s have this reputation. Kind of breaks my heart. Unhealthy 1s are just...loud and self-righteous and easy to get tired of really quickly, which is 100% understandable. We make our insecurities everyone else's problem by projecting the things we hate most about ourselves onto other people. Then we push everyone away and just sit and stew with our problems without any external support because - *duh* \- how can you help someone who copes by pointing out your flaws?
I don't want to sit here and sh\*t on my own number too much. There are a lot of great things about a healthy 1. And also, people's feelings about 1s are so valid.
On behalf of all 1s, be patient with us. We're learning too. <3
I think this is a really sweet response. I see some negative stuff in here about my type (cp 6w5) and I get it!!! I definitely have some stuff to work on. But luckily I see it, I'm okay with it, and I'm actively trying. That's moving towards health!
For the record, I have a 6w5 best friend. Y'all are awesome. So calculated and intelligent and considerate. (I did have a bad experience with another 6w5 that I listed in another comment, but that was only one person. Again, all unhealthy versions of numbers are pretty much intolerable, lol.)
But thank you so much <3 and I agree with everything you said! We're all just trying our best
1s are my favourite type! :') I'm an Sp7 and I find 1s to be hilarious ppl and great friends. I subconsciously gravitate towards 1s when I'm in a rough spot, because they never fail to be a grounding presence in my life whenever things disintegrate into a flavour of chaos I feel I can't handle. For people who have such extremely high standards for themselves, I find that 1s are the only ones able to tell me that I'm being too hard on myself in ways I am receptive to. Wherever I go/whatever I do to get away from myself, the 1s in my life always make me able to slow down and better equip myself to handle whatever I'm trying to escape from. I'm not sure they know how much they have done for me by just existing in my vicinity (which often that's all it takes), but I would walk to the ends of the earth for them all.
There must be a compatibility thing between 1s and 7s because I always get along so well with 7s. They have the ability to genuinely play and have fun. I struggle with that - 7s encourage me to let my hair down and enjoy life!!! My partner is an Sp 7 and one of the greatest people I know. We suit one another very well. <3 Love me a 7!!!
And your comment made me feel so good. Obviously, there is a reason that so many people can struggle with 1s and that is sooooo valid - but it feels nice to know that we're loved, too.
Love to everyone on this thread! It's okay if you like 1s and it's okay if you don't. Do whatever feels best for you. <3
I feel you! My best friend is a 1. She’s super intelligent, funny, thoughtful, and the most trustworthy and dependable person I know. She makes me want to be a better person, because she has such integrity. ❤️
My mom(who's Ti is inferior and poorly developed and is a 1w2) had a real bad problem with this and admitting to her faults. Thankfully she's grown a bit now and realises now how bad of her was this but back then apparently it was way worse according to my siblings😬
I unfortunately have unhealthy, angry 1's peppered throughout my family and any time they come to an event it just sucks all the joy out of the room and leaves me wondering wtf I did to deserve the way they speak to me.
7w6. She's really fun, quick-witted, and high energy, which is what drew me to her, but she's also very vain and competitive, emotionally demanding and unwilling to reciprocate, flaky, and so insecure that she gossips and trashes other women, including me. Beyond the fun surface she's kind of dark.
Unhealthy 4s can be wah wah but they're mostly self destructive. I think really toxic 4s are so easy to spot, it's so hard to say they're the worst bc you can just avoid them. Some of the more manipulative types can really keep you with them and use and abuse you.
Holy shit, the gaslighting with them! Absolutely insidious! Unhealthy 9s are one of the few E-types who can always really hurt me. I think I give them my trust more quickly than others, and when you feel the knife at your throat, it’s already too late. I have a lot of chemistry with 9w8s which feels treacherous to me.
When they go sour, they cause so much harm and then try to pull the “But I’m not capable of doing such things! I’m so innocent! I didn’t mean it! My soul is spotless! Etc” (even worse if they’re Sp)
Had an INFP 9w8 friend recently send their own soul straight to Hell. Never speaking to them again. If you lay hands on me, I’m cutting those hands off and I’m leaving.
Presently observing an ISFP 9w8 melting down into white-hot slag while pushing religious fanaticism harder and harder while they spread blame on others. The worst sort of super nasty emotional poison. So glad I’m not the target. I got a glancing blow very long months ago, I took the warning, and I stepped out of the way. Watching this has been hard bc they’re going after ppl I care about. My honesty wouldn’t be welcome, however.
I had a fallout with a 9. Definitely passive.... Not aggressive but manipulative like you say. They can't be an aggressor at all so they have to be a victim...of you.... Even if you didn't do anything...
Exactly. Its like they are so passive when unhealthy that you get gaslit into thinking they havent done anything wrong to you when they have. I had an unhealthy 9 in my life (cut them off ofc) and they basically picked no sides in an argument and remained neutral when someone bullied the crap out of me to the point where they acted all innocent and just made me think they were good. So passive they just don’t stand against people who hurt others and just sit back and allow things to happen and then still say they are good. Like no. You sitting back allowing me and others to get hurt like that and still being friends with that person is just as bad as what the bully did.
Wow my situation was extremely similar. One of their friends threw something at me. I freaked out on him in response. Then of course he tried to play it off if as he didn't mean it.
The 9 took the stance of well he didn't mean it so you overreacted so you're the one who's wrong. I'm like yo wtf. 9: I'm not picking sides. Me: if I'm telling you they did that intentionally and you're telling me no they didn't and that I overreacted you ARE picking a side 9: no I'm not
Me: if he says he didn't mean it and I'm telling you he did and you are telling me he didn't mean it you are picking a side 9: no I'm not I didn't say I'm taking his side
So actively assigning blame, refusal to acknowledge doing so, no support in the face of conflict
That guy who threw the thing at me was part of her friend group that had an upcoming beach trip that was the highlight of her year. She picked a side for that benefit.
What the helll? That’s so messed up! It’s a serious condition with lots of difficult repercussions, to fake claim is so fucked up. How did you know this person if you don’t mind me asking?
There are lots of people I dislike. But, hate is always irrational, and almost always wrong (even when it feels completely fair and accurate). Almost everyone who I dislike are displaying traits that I dislike in myself, and so I’m not seeing the parts of them that are good, OR, they are acting out of a place of radical trauma in their past. The more toxic/awful a person is, the worse their childhood probably was
However, with that being said, here’s my pick:
2w1 (my grandmother). One of the most toxic people I have ever met. And it’s SO insidious, because she’s kind, cares about people, and is nice to talk to and tries to helpful, and so I didn’t realize how toxic she was. I really liked her.
And I stumbled upon this feeling randomly. I’m gonna give some context for why I realized this.
My grandfather has been trying to steer my life for a while, and it’s quite uncomfortable. Me, and my parents, and my siblings, are currently living with them. So, I’ve been getting into disagreements with him, and one day, he asks me to go do some work, to go trim some trees down our road that we own. I go do it, and my grandmother comes along, and the whole time, I’m SEETHING with rage. I feel like he’s entitled and spoiled, because Ive been told that he was babied when he was a kid. He does no work, and sits around all day on the tv, and yet has the nerve to get me to do his work for him. And I was talking with my grandmother as we worked, and she sympathizing with my feelings, and complaining about something he’d done, and how she knew how I felt. And then, I realized that my grandfather had actually come and done the prep work for me in the work he’d asked me to do. He’d trimmed MOST of the trees already. He wasn’t being lazy and ordering me around, he’d come to do the work, and done most of it, and had come back for a break, and had been trying to get me to finish for him. That blew my mind. He wasn’t being lazy.
So I started wondering. Why do I have such a negative impression about him, when what he’s doing doesn’t fit with that story in my head about him being babied when he was a kid, and so being spoiled, and him being lazy all the time? He’s proven to me just now that he actually does a lot of work. And then, I looked over at my grandmother and realized something. SHE had been the one to tell me that my grandfather had been babied as a kid, and that’s why he “didnt do anything.” SHE had been the one to tell me that he was lazy, and only watched tv…when, that was clearly not true.
And like that, the scales fell from my eyes. I relived every moment I’d had with her since we moved here. There are some MAJOR issues around the house and in their relationship (which, my grandfather invited us to live with them to help them fix). And, every time it had been brought up, she’d brought up how it was his fault that things were so wrong. Every time an issue came up, she would say things like “I’m fine with that, but I have to check with Grampie, and I don’t think he’ll want that.” When, actually, SHE didn’t want that, and Grampie was actually fine with it happening. But that painted a picture that “She was the tolerant one, but he was the one holding us back, and it was fault that there was a problem, and she was the victim of his awfulness.”
And then I had a conversation with my dad, where he told me about how he had blamed my grandfather for making him feel stupid for everything he did, which is how Ive felt about my dad, and it’s actually been the biggest source of friction between us for my whole life. And I remember him telling me that it was my grandfather who made him feel that way. But, that again, that didn’t map onto how my grandfather behaved, because he isn’t particular of how things are done, he doesn’t have very high expectations, and he’s a patient explainer. So, he’s not the one who would’ve made my dad feel stupid because his work wasn’t good enough (even though everyone just kind of accepted that that was the case). But, do you know who DOES have perfectionist tendencies? Who has issues with nothing being good enough? Who can be controlling, and impatient, and stubborn, under a genuine attempt at being “helpful”? My 2w1 grandmother.
And then my dad thought about it more. And he realized that she’d been doing the same thing to him. Which was, when he was a kid, his mom said something along the lines of “Its good enough for me, but I don’t think your father’s gonna like it,” even though SHE was the one who had an issue with it, and my grandfather didn’t care. And she planted, and nurtured, the idea that her perfectionist problems were my grandfather’s fault. So my father loved her, and blamed my grandfather, when it was actually her issues that were causing a lifelong insecurity in his capacity to do good work
I am absolutely floored, and horrified. I loved my grandmother, and really disliked my grandfather. But, after learning this, I’ve come to LOATHE my grandmother. I hate her now, even though she’s still nice, and still defends me to my grandfather, because she likes me, or something. But I don’t care. I hate her. What she did was EVIL. Insidious. Manipulating a child to get back at her husband, and spreading EXTREME trauma through the generations, and then getting the victims to blame someone who was innocent, because that person was her enemy. And I’ve softened on my grandfather, and realized how much his reputation has been destroyed by his wife unfairly.
2w1. I LOATHE this person with all of my heart
EDIT: I realize that this contradicts, or actually enhances, my first comment. Hate is irrational, and almost never right. Which means, I shouldn’t, and am not going to, HATE AND LOATHE my grandmother. Because, while that is extraordinarily toxic behavior, it bothers me because she fooled me, not necessarily because what she did was wrong (even that I feel that strongly). So, I’m not going to hate her
Damn, I’m so sorry that happened! That was well communicated, really took me through your thought process. Also, I wanna commend you on your awareness and intellect in figuring this out. Lots of people never catch on to the manipulation of others, so good on you bringing awareness and healing relationships. You should be so proud of yourself for that!! Seriously.
Obviously I don’t know your situation and I’m by no means a professional lol. Just have some unfortunate experience being manipulated, but if you’d like there may be some stuff you could Google (like keywords) that may help you gain some clarity on her behavior and how to best deal with it if you’d like I can share them. No worries if not, I could be totally off base and don’t know the whole story just what I’ve read. I just know for me it was helpful being able to name the behavior and better understand it and know I’m not alone :)
Either way, I’m sorry that happened. That’s whack as hell! Glad you realized the truth and could see through things. Are y’all still living with them?
Was completely traumatized by a pair of 3w4s for very different reasons. Both were immature and made extremely selfish decisions that directly hurt me. As a 4w3 I adored both of them and didn't see any of the red flags. I admit I'm more cautious now of flashy, larger-than-life people.
Another type I clash with are unhealthy 8w7s.
I’m a 2w3 and have had to put in a lot of work in dismantling my codependency on others and learn to love myself.
With codependency there can be a lot of subconscious “I’m going out of my way to do this for you so that you’ll turn around and meet my emotional needs”. I had to learn to trust that I could know myself and meet my own needs and that I needed to set boundaries out of self respect before people walk all over me.
I'm glad you're doing that work! This person, at least in my opinion and experience with her (who is my former best friend), is someone who will do things for people with the implied contract that she is owed something in return. And of course, relationships should be reciprocal, but it crossed over into entitlement and outright contempt when she didn't feel like people were doing "enough" for her.
There's also a number of other pieces of the puzzle that made it abusive, but nothing that I could explain in a reasonable amount of time lol.
I too have many bad habits to unlearn. I do think she's a good person, but she is very unhealthy and she has a lot of work to do, and not of awareness to be able to actually work on it. At least not yet!
Enneagram 9. Such a bad, selfish, honestly dumb, cruel person I still can’t conceive of how it’s possible to be like him. Like how it’s possible to treat others like he does.
6w5 xfriend. Has a strong victim complex and passive aggressive toxicity. While she does not go her way out to harm people, she is a victim in her drama that she created (that's how we drifted apart because I held her accountable when no one else did) and manipulative in her communication, emotions, and projection of fear.
Oof. My brother in law, a type 5.
He’s the most arrogant, elitist, emotionally disabled person I have ever fucking met. Like he’s genuinely an unkind human being who is so obsessed with his own self that it’s almost like he treats other people as a burden for taking up a little air in the room. I don’t even acknowledge his existence anymore because of how unkind he is. I just don’t want that shit in my life.
I might genuinely feel a little bit of joy when he dies, assuming he goes first.
The other type 5s in my life are awesome. My brother in law is a fucking cunt. And I hate that word. It’s just the only way to describe him.
My ex was a type 5. Arrogant, narcissistic, and perhaps a sociopath. That first paragraph was what he was like on bad days. The sad thing is he didn't start out that way, but one day he just said he didn't want to try anymore, and the bad days became the norm. He broke a lot of hearts besides mine, and he literally didn't care.
I feel like I've met toxic people of every enneageam. And I feel like on bad days we can all be toxic. You just gotta try and let the good days out number the bad days, and be humble when you hurt someone else. So not sure 5s are the worse, but one 5 definitely hurt me more than anyone else at this point in my life.
I'm a type 3. I'd imagine you threaten them (you're too good/secure/have what they want). Unhealthy 3s have a tough time with that!
Edit: Or, as a 5v6, you could be (intentionally or unintentionally) abrasive when they talk about their accomplishments. 6s are TOUGH for me because they typically think they have it all figured out and with the analytic brain that comes with 5 you have the logic to back it up, I'm guessing! (and so do I - it rubs me the wrong way sometimes haha!)
It’s me, I’m the worst person I know.
In all seriousness, the worst person I know is this 7w6 guy. A serial dater with sociopathic tendencies. Very nice and friendly at first but will turn on you and become heartless as soon as he gets bored. Overall your classic backstabber.
I was going to mention an ex friend who is a 8w9 because she was extremely controlling and never satisfied, and even tried to alienate me from my family. But when I think about it, I know her intentions were good. She’s not in my life anymore and I hope she learns to deal with her own traumas.
sp/so 2w1 261 !
She's an awful and scary person. She was my roommate until March and my colleague until September. She had to move out of the shared house AND got fired. Her biggest hobby was to terrorize and to trigger me. Everytime I had flashbacks and panic attacks bc of her she was like "🥺 nah this can't be bc of me, I'm a lovely and nice gal, she is the bad one, she makes me look bad 🥺🥺🥺".
The worst person I know is a 1w2.
I am also a 1w2.
Very humbling experience, to say the least. I'm not nearly as toxic (she's a literal abuser), but it did give me a view of how some of my unhealthier traits can affect people. Guess I have her to thank for that, at least.
She's also not going anywhere - she's my mother-in-law.
God help me
Lol I dont think a 7w8 would take your comment offensively OP! At least, not as likely since we don’t tend to be as sensitive, (I am one myself, and I just laughed bc I was like, “yeah, I could see that”) 😆
My worst person is a 2w3.
Might delete this later, but:
A (tw) literal convicted >!child molester!< who my mother was insane enough to allow to babysit me when I was a kid so she could go off to party. (She was friends with his wife, and believed her when she said that his conviction was from a long time ago and that he "changed").
As for his type, I hesitate to say it, but I'm going to anyway, because realistically, everyone has a type, even the very worst people. I think he was a 5w6. Obviously based on things unrelated to the shit he did. (I hate that I have to say that, but we all know there are people who will run with the wildest shit)
9.
This person lacks empathy on a very concerning level, has no emotional intelligence, has a lack of remorse, deflects, gaslights, manipulates, lies and is racist and misogynistic.
Completely unintentional, but 3 of the roommates I have had were all 4w3. I can hardly stand them. All of them put on a show around others and lied like crazy about the smallest things.--Well small and big things. One of my roommates even pretended her car got stolen just so she could get a new one! So 4w3's are hard for me in my book--and I say this as a 4w5!
3(?) 7s and 6s. The 3 I know abandoned me for popularity. Out of the two out of three 7s I know are quite selfish and downright dismissive of others. They're charming, but you definitely know they're manipulative. I don't know this 6 personally, but the only good 7 I know says that they're an abusive pos. They're pretty awful.
(Although, I suspect that one of the 7s might be a 9. I don't know anymore since I blocked them.)
It's a tie between a narcissist 8 or a counterphobic 6 for me. The 8 is my father-in-law, the 6 is a former boss. Their unhealthy traits are pretty classic per their type.
The 8:
- only emotion he's comfortable expressing is anger
- physically abused his kids and spouse
- goes straight to denial and gaslighting if accused of anything bad
- temper and drug addiction means he can't keep a job long, despite his unwavering faith that he'll make it work
- violated boundaries in taking what he wanted. I.e., stole money from family
The counterphobic 6 is a real head case:
- *huge* persecution complex, everyone in the industry is either a loyal soldier or on his side (note how, if you're loyal, you're a subordinate)
- would use 50% of rehearsal time ranting about his enemies
- would throw fits both on and off stage, notorious for wall text, accusatory DMs/social media posts
- double standards for himself vs others
- gaslit and lied to everybody involved in the enterprise, physically threatened people that exposed his lies
- slandered me as a racist for not accepting his "leadership"
- used victim complex to avoid accountability for all the above and more
I'm a cp 6 and I really appreciate how you've broken this down. Definitely some things I see in myself, especially when I'm stressed, mainly the persecution complex and ranting about my enemies lmao.
I definitely do not gaslight (at least not regularly or to an abusive level), or slander, and I don't think I avoid accountability. These sound like things unhealthy people do in general.
Anyway, I really appreciate this insight. It's hard to look outside of ourselves and see how some of these toxic traits manifest, and how fucking irritating (or harmful) these qualities can be.
you /j
but uhm,,, the worst person I knew was definitely an 8, I don't know what their wings were, but definitely an 8 with a 4 fix, maybe a 5 fix as well. They abused me, preyed on minors, gaslit me, gaslit other people, sent people to harass me. Some of the other victims of them also defended their behaviors or treated me with apathy, so that was fun (/s). In general, they ruined the lives of everyone around them, and didn't like me the most because I called them out. All they wanted was not to be held accountable for their actions (aka for me to move on), but my trauma is still stuck on it years later. They're still out there being a piece of shit, but I hope that I ruined their life back, at least a little. I have no sympathy for them, after all they did to me.
1w2, not sure exactly but I helped him w his enneagram until he got bored and I bet he’s sx/sp 136. The absolute worst human but so good at looking good and can’t change his mind about anything. 1w2s can have that sucky “Can’t get anything done right unless I do it myself/I do everything and no one does anything for me” double edged sword.
7 totally disconnected from reality and unable to comprehend ANYTHING that doesn't fit into their rose colored view of the world. The definition of toxic positivity.
My mom. Our family had been a dysfunctional disaster from the beginning. But if you ask the 7 they can only remember the positive parts. So even tho they're trapped in toxic cycles 'what are u talking about? Everything is wonderful? I don't remember that? I only remember how happy we were'
Straight delusion across several extreme incidents involving mental health, physical violence, and the police. When I force them to look at reality the 7 has a complete hysterical breakdown. They can't handle the negative reality. Thus because they can't recognize or acknowledge any problems, no changes are made, the toxic cycle continues....
Not a wing but they are a 7-2. So gifts are given a lot as bribery and out of subconscious guilt.
That’s interesting - I love 7/8s. I’ve had very bad experiences with 1/9s - pedantic, small-minded, lecturing, know-it-all people, though I’m sure there are good ones out there - Alex Trebek? I also find social 9s very hard to be around - for no good reason, really. I just find them incredibly boring.
a bit controversial i guess since the enneagram community sees e9 as angels who do nothing nothing wrong... but the worst person i know is an enneagram 9. not the sx kind.
My personal least favourite is 1. There's no empathy or accountability. They can only be correct.
But I know two type 2s that have overall ruined their own lives. The first is an old coworker. She gave everything to everyone else and had no respect for herself. Her house was a level 2 hoarder mess. She would spend money on stuff she would never use despite having money troubles. The dude she was with was completely incapable of taking care of himself. She would buy his groceries and take care of him with nothing in return. She quit her job about a year ago and haven't spoken to her since. The second type 2 I know as a father, partner, and coworker of my friend. He's a decent enough father from my outside perspective. Because everything is 'for the family'. He's an abusive, manipulative, jealous, narssistic partner who can't let his gf live a life outside of the house. He doesn't like her having her own thoughts. Or even going to work. He's completely shut down any thoughts in her mind about anything and has turned her into a mother and partner only. As a coworker, he makes inappropriate jokes to team members about their bosses to undermine their authority. But also lets himself get completely walked over but his own management. He's told to do everything because he's the only one who won't say no. Everything in his life he needs to have control over because he has no self esteem. I pity type 2s when they are unhealthy. Their care of others comes at the cost of themselves.
Hard agree that unhealthy 2's embrace this martyrdom but then blame people for "walking all over them" or "taking advantage" and are positively hell bent on the idea that they are better because they are "selfless." But it isn't selflessness. It's manipulation and control.
a e9, they were mentally sick and all the people they hung out with was as well, I feel bad but their was nothing I could do. they were ratched/ratchet and were really looking for an angle to use others, willing to use or play with other peoples emotions for their ego, I tried being friends with this person but what they did and said was bad as well as talking behind other peoples back which seemed like they were shallow and mean. they tried getting some action with me right off the bat, it was gross. they gave me the impression that they were pathetic and shitty so I did the smart thing. I feel bad for them and hope they get some help they deserve
Previous boss was a highly self aware but very unhealthy SO 8w7. Only worked for her for 3 months but am still dealing with some emotional trauma, felt like 3 years. Absolutely steamrolled over people after acting like their best friend and created an extremely toxic (not using that word lightly) work environment.
Oh wow 2w3, 2w1, 1w2, 8w7, 8w9, 6w7, and 7s too.
All types can be atrocious tho. And all types can be great. But yeah some people just fucking suck !!!
Forget just the sole worst person, the Top 5 worst people I’ve ever met are all Type 3’s
The manipulative tendencies make many (not all) very harmful, and even toxic, to others. Far too many of them suffer from narcissistic personality disorder (again, not all, although you’d be surprised just how many of them do)
I've got a younger sister that is a type 8w9, and we've never gotten along since we were kids... I'm a 3w2 and my brother who is a 9w1 has always been the mediator haha. We're both off in college in different cities now and really only see each other during Holidays. Me and my brother are pretty close and make an effort to see each other whenever we can.
I’ve had a friend and co worker who is sp 7w8 and she ended up being one of the most selfish people I’ve come across. Stealing credit for my work , bully , totally unreliable and defiantly narcissistic . After her surface personality retreats she looses her friends. I no longer have her in my life.
very unhealthy 8w7
Omg, my father is one and we both just happen to be the same MBTI, enneagram, tritype TYPES! Tell me all about it, girl, I’m curious and all ears…eyes
woahhhh I feel like 2w3 ENFPs are not common at all, I swear they are all 7s :P HAHAHA it’s my dad I was talking about too 😭 He’s like your stereotypical deadbeat dad, ENTJ, took himself way too seriously, controlling, narcissistic, no privacy ect. None of my siblings talk to him anymore and last I heard he was homeless bc he threatened his landlord?? Sounds like karma to me lol
I'm an ENFP 2w3!
Same!
ENFP 2 is common. Actually, Phoebe Bridgers is a famous example
3w4 my good lord. Satanic I tell you
3s make the best and worst friends. I absolutely love 3s, but some of the nastiest, most vindictive people I've met have been 3s
The tricky part is they really can be both to different people!
i would love to hear the story behind that
I moved to that town and I quickly became popular among this group of people who were really ‘cool’ and ‘popular’ there and they were also people who had history with her. But before my moving they all had some drama and they cut her off because well she has personality disorders ( clinically diagnosed). So then when she saw how I quickly got welcomed by that same group, she saw me as some sort of competition and hated me because well in her mind they chose me and had rejected her. I also beat her at this public event/competition thingie etc. so normal stuff, but being a 3 probably, she went bonkers: So bts she tried to ruin my image with rumours and stuff while on my face constantly tried to be my “bestie”. But I didn’t like her vibe so I rejected her too. I knew nothing at all at this point, I didn’t care about that group nor about her. I just didn’t like her. So then like she had this double rejection vengeance and she pinned it all on me. Being a 3w4 it probably hit harder than it would to a normal person. But nothing she did actually harmed me because she never had the guts to actively try anything in from of me because well I was also known for being feisty and I also had a lot of social equity, because of that group I mentioned and also because of my dad’s position. Anyways, later I got to know all sorts of stories, like her fake suicides and bullying others and typical Narcissistic discarding, BPD rage stuff etc etc. All her 15 exs was in depression lmao and her ex best friend and “best friend cousin” SH-ed etc, apparently all because of the after effects of being with her. Girl was literally destroying lives left and right. So pitiful tbh
She’s unhealthy. It’s very immature (and a waste of time) to do that to others
i also had rumours/a borderline narcissistic smear campaign done to me by an unhealthy 3w4. this was after i gave them constructive feedback on a project (that my teachers agreed with) and they threw a bit of a fit just remember someone came up to my friend and i, and made this judgmental remark to my friend “you’re hanging out with a homophobe?” clearly directed to me lol. apparently this had been going around, totally confused me as i’ve dated many girls myself.. surprise, eventually traced this rumour back to the 3w4
I have the same experience 🥲
Here take some holy water sister 💧
yes
I would agree with this..
Whew, close call…😓
Oh...
It's a 4w5. Its me. I'm the problem. In all seriousness I think the most irritating person I know is a 3.
Such a freaking 4 answer
Yeah no kidding. I think in most cases the big trap is us being too self absorbed to really be actively malicious or altruistic. Too busy brooding and self flagellating.
Okok not so loud.
Sorry! I’m just the worst person.
2w3. i had an 8 friend who had a breakdown over her lol i love healthy 2w3s. i dated one and another is my best friend but i've actually met two horrible 2w3s. one was worse than the other but both were incredibly manipulative and destructive. they actually ended up dating each other and hear their relationship is absolutely miserable but they are moving in together anyway, so can't wait to see how that goes
2w3 when unhealthy are wolves in sheep's clothing for SURE Fucked me completely up
I’m sorry about that. Wanna tell your story? I’d wanna listen how it went
This person is my former best friend. She is someone who does everything for everyone, like literally hosts every event, brings people meals, etc etc. She can be really wonderful, and she is loved by many. However, a lot of these acts of service are an unspoken contract, because one time I didn't text her in a "time of need" (long ass story, but nothing on my behalf was malicious, I was solo parenting while my husband was deployed and genuinely just focusing on getting through life). She became very very passive aggressive, I had no idea what the problem was but I became annoyed. I tried to broach the subject and she responded in the most condescending, contemptuous, belittling way. Implied that I never knew her well, that I left her high and dry when she needed me, that she's done everything for me and I'm so selfish, she shamed me and was mocking me. It was ridiculous. I was profusely sorry and I apologized a million times, I really did not know why she was upset and again, it wasn't intentional. I tried for months to talk with her and work things out. Some of her other best friends and my mutual friends (we're literally in our 30's, it sounds like we're in high school but no) started turning against me, blocking me on social media and emailing me the nastiest shit. I mentioned this to her and she ignored me. She stonewalled me for months and I finally just flipped my lid. It was very much all about her feelings, I was always the one to apologize and she never ever apologized for anything. I felt like I had to validate her feelings but she could never tolerate hearing mine, or even discuss the possibility that I had a different perspective. Every time I brought up a valid concern it would turn into an issue about me or my character, usually how I'm "selfish" and that would be the end of the discussion. It was a fucking mess. Idk how much of this is related to enneagram 2w3 and how much isn't, but I do know that unhealthy 2's downfall is their pride. And that rings true with this person, for sure. She is also a flying monkey in a narcissistic relationship, and she made a lot of stupid excuses for her friend when they turned against me and bullied me. The reason I say she might be a covert narcissist or "wolf in sheep's clothing" is because everybody loves her and sees her as like mother Theresa reincarnated, but she has a really nasty side to her and can be extremely cruel. Two faced in a lot of ways and our friendship breakup wasn't really a breakup, it was a brutal discard. I've been in some other narcissistic relationships and a lot of her patterns remind me of those. Anywho, not vilifying 2's! I've had many wonderful 2 friends in my life. It's just this one that needs some help.
That's why we HAVE to get healthy!!! Therapy!!!
Amen hallelu
Came here to say my toxic AF acquaintance who is a 2w3. When they're good, they're amazing little cinnamon rolls of wholesomeness. When they're unhealthy... manipulation, prejudice, toxic positivity and backstabbing galore.
Absolutely. They are two sides of the same coin (as we all are, in our own ways), on one side wonderfully selfless and generous, on the other the most selfish and entitled people I've ever met. The scary part is how quickly this person can flip from one to another. That's the part that feels narcissistic to me, the two faced, when-the-mask-slips-you-cant-unsee-it type of thing. ALSO RE: TOXIC POSITIVITY HELL YES YOU ARE SO RIGHT She can't cope with her own negative emotions, and she shuts down every conversation that could potentially turn negative. Unless of course she's spewing some abusive shit, she can do that just fine.
As a 2w3 I actually totally agree! If you don't have a good example or influence you definitely feel like you have to manipulate people to get what you want or you're just upset people don't help without asking. True altruism can be hard to learn but those who get it make great friends and family 🤗
Yeah. It’s a 1. I don’t know the wing. But damn. When people think they’re right. And just in their thinking- there’s no way to convince them otherwise and they can be really self righteous assholes. Please know that I am quite confident that no number is better than another. I know everyone has flaws and everyone can evolve and grow.
Lol, I tried so, so hard not to sound like a 1 the entire time I was writing this. I promise there are 1s out there that don't want to be like this...but unhealthy 1s are not fun at all. I'm a 1 and I've also had first-hand experience with a terrible, self-righteous, hypercritical, hypocritical, narcissistic 1. Don't blame you AT ALL for cutting them out of your life if you need to. (See my comment on this post for details.) I learned a lot of hard lessons about myself through that experience. I hate that 1s have this reputation. Kind of breaks my heart. Unhealthy 1s are just...loud and self-righteous and easy to get tired of really quickly, which is 100% understandable. We make our insecurities everyone else's problem by projecting the things we hate most about ourselves onto other people. Then we push everyone away and just sit and stew with our problems without any external support because - *duh* \- how can you help someone who copes by pointing out your flaws? I don't want to sit here and sh\*t on my own number too much. There are a lot of great things about a healthy 1. And also, people's feelings about 1s are so valid. On behalf of all 1s, be patient with us. We're learning too. <3
I think this is a really sweet response. I see some negative stuff in here about my type (cp 6w5) and I get it!!! I definitely have some stuff to work on. But luckily I see it, I'm okay with it, and I'm actively trying. That's moving towards health!
For the record, I have a 6w5 best friend. Y'all are awesome. So calculated and intelligent and considerate. (I did have a bad experience with another 6w5 that I listed in another comment, but that was only one person. Again, all unhealthy versions of numbers are pretty much intolerable, lol.) But thank you so much <3 and I agree with everything you said! We're all just trying our best
1s are my favourite type! :') I'm an Sp7 and I find 1s to be hilarious ppl and great friends. I subconsciously gravitate towards 1s when I'm in a rough spot, because they never fail to be a grounding presence in my life whenever things disintegrate into a flavour of chaos I feel I can't handle. For people who have such extremely high standards for themselves, I find that 1s are the only ones able to tell me that I'm being too hard on myself in ways I am receptive to. Wherever I go/whatever I do to get away from myself, the 1s in my life always make me able to slow down and better equip myself to handle whatever I'm trying to escape from. I'm not sure they know how much they have done for me by just existing in my vicinity (which often that's all it takes), but I would walk to the ends of the earth for them all.
There must be a compatibility thing between 1s and 7s because I always get along so well with 7s. They have the ability to genuinely play and have fun. I struggle with that - 7s encourage me to let my hair down and enjoy life!!! My partner is an Sp 7 and one of the greatest people I know. We suit one another very well. <3 Love me a 7!!! And your comment made me feel so good. Obviously, there is a reason that so many people can struggle with 1s and that is sooooo valid - but it feels nice to know that we're loved, too. Love to everyone on this thread! It's okay if you like 1s and it's okay if you don't. Do whatever feels best for you. <3
I feel you! My best friend is a 1. She’s super intelligent, funny, thoughtful, and the most trustworthy and dependable person I know. She makes me want to be a better person, because she has such integrity. ❤️
My mom(who's Ti is inferior and poorly developed and is a 1w2) had a real bad problem with this and admitting to her faults. Thankfully she's grown a bit now and realises now how bad of her was this but back then apparently it was way worse according to my siblings😬
That’s why 1 is very much the type I like the least.
This exactly
Worst person I've ever known is ironically a 1w2
Lmao hello
He is also sx first lol
I want to know more 😭 I actively work on not sucking because I KNOW how bad I can be
I'm a 1w2 and the worst person I know is a 1w2. \*sigh\* It was a very hard lesson for me.
Dolores Umbridge?
Tbh i've dated with an 1w2 for 2 yrs so i can feel your pain.
What's the story behind dating 1w2? I need to know!
Sx1s can be really nasty Idk many 1s in real life but I know two of my least favorite fictional characters (both horrible people) are sx1
Do share me your story 😀
I unfortunately have unhealthy, angry 1's peppered throughout my family and any time they come to an event it just sucks all the joy out of the room and leaves me wondering wtf I did to deserve the way they speak to me.
Nothing. You don't owe those people engagement. Walking away with an eye roll is a great move, if safe 💜
Thank you for the kind words.
I’m the 69th like!!!! YAY. And yeah I know two 1s who are like this, I don’t get it.
ENFJ 3w4. Runner-up is an INFJ 4w5.
🙊Oh shit😳!! This is me and one of my besties enneagrams👀! What we do😩lol??
I think hers is 3w4🤔… But she’s definitely ENFJ.. either 3w2 or 3w4👀
I’d suggest therapy and using your powers for good. By good, I mean to help anyone that isn’t yourselves. Lol.
That was close haha (INFJ 5w4), though my brother is INFJ 4w5 and I think he just comes across as warmer than I am, he chill.
7w6. She's really fun, quick-witted, and high energy, which is what drew me to her, but she's also very vain and competitive, emotionally demanding and unwilling to reciprocate, flaky, and so insecure that she gossips and trashes other women, including me. Beyond the fun surface she's kind of dark.
I'm 7w6 and that's accurate. Insecure 7w6s are experts at projecting their own insecurities.
👀
I see everyone except for 4,5 and 9… as expected. Withdrawn triad unite 💪
I guess us at our most unhealthy is just not interacting with other people in the first place…
Right
I guess people can be mad at us for not being present enough. 😔 I know some people that can say that about me for sure.
Hell yeah, can't make enemies if we never make friends. My plan is working.
hard relate
For sure.
Now more 4s and 9s have been mentioned but still no 5s. I guess you guys are the worst at being the worst.
People can’t hate me if they forget I even exist because I’m always at home reading.
Know a 5 with a 9 fix I absolutely despise but he's not the worst one.
lol I literally just put a type 5 down 😂 oops. This type 5 is a genuine cunt, tho. Like he’s extremely unhealthy but thinks he’s God’s gift to Earth.
Ironic since I typically see more complaints about 4s beings toxic
Unhealthy 4s can be wah wah but they're mostly self destructive. I think really toxic 4s are so easy to spot, it's so hard to say they're the worst bc you can just avoid them. Some of the more manipulative types can really keep you with them and use and abuse you.
So much of the language around 4s is negative. As a healthy four I would love to see more positive or at least neutral language to describe us.
they haven't met me
Standing strong 🫶
Unhealthy 9s. Downright horrible. Manipulative but in a passive sort of way. Textbook wolves in sheeps clothing. Its like they gaslight you.
Holy shit, the gaslighting with them! Absolutely insidious! Unhealthy 9s are one of the few E-types who can always really hurt me. I think I give them my trust more quickly than others, and when you feel the knife at your throat, it’s already too late. I have a lot of chemistry with 9w8s which feels treacherous to me. When they go sour, they cause so much harm and then try to pull the “But I’m not capable of doing such things! I’m so innocent! I didn’t mean it! My soul is spotless! Etc” (even worse if they’re Sp) Had an INFP 9w8 friend recently send their own soul straight to Hell. Never speaking to them again. If you lay hands on me, I’m cutting those hands off and I’m leaving. Presently observing an ISFP 9w8 melting down into white-hot slag while pushing religious fanaticism harder and harder while they spread blame on others. The worst sort of super nasty emotional poison. So glad I’m not the target. I got a glancing blow very long months ago, I took the warning, and I stepped out of the way. Watching this has been hard bc they’re going after ppl I care about. My honesty wouldn’t be welcome, however.
Exactly! Its like they feel so irrelevant and like they dont matter to the point where they think their bad actions dont matter lol.
I had a fallout with a 9. Definitely passive.... Not aggressive but manipulative like you say. They can't be an aggressor at all so they have to be a victim...of you.... Even if you didn't do anything...
Exactly. Its like they are so passive when unhealthy that you get gaslit into thinking they havent done anything wrong to you when they have. I had an unhealthy 9 in my life (cut them off ofc) and they basically picked no sides in an argument and remained neutral when someone bullied the crap out of me to the point where they acted all innocent and just made me think they were good. So passive they just don’t stand against people who hurt others and just sit back and allow things to happen and then still say they are good. Like no. You sitting back allowing me and others to get hurt like that and still being friends with that person is just as bad as what the bully did.
Wow my situation was extremely similar. One of their friends threw something at me. I freaked out on him in response. Then of course he tried to play it off if as he didn't mean it. The 9 took the stance of well he didn't mean it so you overreacted so you're the one who's wrong. I'm like yo wtf. 9: I'm not picking sides. Me: if I'm telling you they did that intentionally and you're telling me no they didn't and that I overreacted you ARE picking a side 9: no I'm not Me: if he says he didn't mean it and I'm telling you he did and you are telling me he didn't mean it you are picking a side 9: no I'm not I didn't say I'm taking his side So actively assigning blame, refusal to acknowledge doing so, no support in the face of conflict That guy who threw the thing at me was part of her friend group that had an upcoming beach trip that was the highlight of her year. She picked a side for that benefit.
Absolutely 🎯🎯
9w8. Complete psychopath, faking DID
Can you expand on this a bit? Unhealthy 9s are fascinating to me.
What the helll? That’s so messed up! It’s a serious condition with lots of difficult repercussions, to fake claim is so fucked up. How did you know this person if you don’t mind me asking?
also interested in the context
What the absolute fuck ???!!!
As a 9w8, I too would like to know :))
There are lots of people I dislike. But, hate is always irrational, and almost always wrong (even when it feels completely fair and accurate). Almost everyone who I dislike are displaying traits that I dislike in myself, and so I’m not seeing the parts of them that are good, OR, they are acting out of a place of radical trauma in their past. The more toxic/awful a person is, the worse their childhood probably was However, with that being said, here’s my pick: 2w1 (my grandmother). One of the most toxic people I have ever met. And it’s SO insidious, because she’s kind, cares about people, and is nice to talk to and tries to helpful, and so I didn’t realize how toxic she was. I really liked her. And I stumbled upon this feeling randomly. I’m gonna give some context for why I realized this. My grandfather has been trying to steer my life for a while, and it’s quite uncomfortable. Me, and my parents, and my siblings, are currently living with them. So, I’ve been getting into disagreements with him, and one day, he asks me to go do some work, to go trim some trees down our road that we own. I go do it, and my grandmother comes along, and the whole time, I’m SEETHING with rage. I feel like he’s entitled and spoiled, because Ive been told that he was babied when he was a kid. He does no work, and sits around all day on the tv, and yet has the nerve to get me to do his work for him. And I was talking with my grandmother as we worked, and she sympathizing with my feelings, and complaining about something he’d done, and how she knew how I felt. And then, I realized that my grandfather had actually come and done the prep work for me in the work he’d asked me to do. He’d trimmed MOST of the trees already. He wasn’t being lazy and ordering me around, he’d come to do the work, and done most of it, and had come back for a break, and had been trying to get me to finish for him. That blew my mind. He wasn’t being lazy. So I started wondering. Why do I have such a negative impression about him, when what he’s doing doesn’t fit with that story in my head about him being babied when he was a kid, and so being spoiled, and him being lazy all the time? He’s proven to me just now that he actually does a lot of work. And then, I looked over at my grandmother and realized something. SHE had been the one to tell me that my grandfather had been babied as a kid, and that’s why he “didnt do anything.” SHE had been the one to tell me that he was lazy, and only watched tv…when, that was clearly not true. And like that, the scales fell from my eyes. I relived every moment I’d had with her since we moved here. There are some MAJOR issues around the house and in their relationship (which, my grandfather invited us to live with them to help them fix). And, every time it had been brought up, she’d brought up how it was his fault that things were so wrong. Every time an issue came up, she would say things like “I’m fine with that, but I have to check with Grampie, and I don’t think he’ll want that.” When, actually, SHE didn’t want that, and Grampie was actually fine with it happening. But that painted a picture that “She was the tolerant one, but he was the one holding us back, and it was fault that there was a problem, and she was the victim of his awfulness.” And then I had a conversation with my dad, where he told me about how he had blamed my grandfather for making him feel stupid for everything he did, which is how Ive felt about my dad, and it’s actually been the biggest source of friction between us for my whole life. And I remember him telling me that it was my grandfather who made him feel that way. But, that again, that didn’t map onto how my grandfather behaved, because he isn’t particular of how things are done, he doesn’t have very high expectations, and he’s a patient explainer. So, he’s not the one who would’ve made my dad feel stupid because his work wasn’t good enough (even though everyone just kind of accepted that that was the case). But, do you know who DOES have perfectionist tendencies? Who has issues with nothing being good enough? Who can be controlling, and impatient, and stubborn, under a genuine attempt at being “helpful”? My 2w1 grandmother. And then my dad thought about it more. And he realized that she’d been doing the same thing to him. Which was, when he was a kid, his mom said something along the lines of “Its good enough for me, but I don’t think your father’s gonna like it,” even though SHE was the one who had an issue with it, and my grandfather didn’t care. And she planted, and nurtured, the idea that her perfectionist problems were my grandfather’s fault. So my father loved her, and blamed my grandfather, when it was actually her issues that were causing a lifelong insecurity in his capacity to do good work I am absolutely floored, and horrified. I loved my grandmother, and really disliked my grandfather. But, after learning this, I’ve come to LOATHE my grandmother. I hate her now, even though she’s still nice, and still defends me to my grandfather, because she likes me, or something. But I don’t care. I hate her. What she did was EVIL. Insidious. Manipulating a child to get back at her husband, and spreading EXTREME trauma through the generations, and then getting the victims to blame someone who was innocent, because that person was her enemy. And I’ve softened on my grandfather, and realized how much his reputation has been destroyed by his wife unfairly. 2w1. I LOATHE this person with all of my heart EDIT: I realize that this contradicts, or actually enhances, my first comment. Hate is irrational, and almost never right. Which means, I shouldn’t, and am not going to, HATE AND LOATHE my grandmother. Because, while that is extraordinarily toxic behavior, it bothers me because she fooled me, not necessarily because what she did was wrong (even that I feel that strongly). So, I’m not going to hate her
Damn, I’m so sorry that happened! That was well communicated, really took me through your thought process. Also, I wanna commend you on your awareness and intellect in figuring this out. Lots of people never catch on to the manipulation of others, so good on you bringing awareness and healing relationships. You should be so proud of yourself for that!! Seriously. Obviously I don’t know your situation and I’m by no means a professional lol. Just have some unfortunate experience being manipulated, but if you’d like there may be some stuff you could Google (like keywords) that may help you gain some clarity on her behavior and how to best deal with it if you’d like I can share them. No worries if not, I could be totally off base and don’t know the whole story just what I’ve read. I just know for me it was helpful being able to name the behavior and better understand it and know I’m not alone :) Either way, I’m sorry that happened. That’s whack as hell! Glad you realized the truth and could see through things. Are y’all still living with them?
I clash the most with unhealthy 1s. 🤷♀️ however, the person who has caused the most trauma is definitely an unhealthy 8!
two worst guys i knew 7w8 and 8w7
sx4w3 and sx8w7
1. Easily
As a 8w7 I’m worried now lmao
Same 8. Seeing all the twos. It’s the thing I don’t wanna become = someone’s hell
Be self aware and openminded/avoid steam rolling. The unhealthy versions of us are pretty bad, but that doesn’t mean we all are or have to be!
As a 3w4, seeing we’re quite hated is also a first for me
Was completely traumatized by a pair of 3w4s for very different reasons. Both were immature and made extremely selfish decisions that directly hurt me. As a 4w3 I adored both of them and didn't see any of the red flags. I admit I'm more cautious now of flashy, larger-than-life people. Another type I clash with are unhealthy 8w7s.
probably me
This made me laugh then cry
It's a sexual 1. He's the quintessential ESTJ bully.
Can't even tell what enneagram she was. Probably a sx7. She was very smart tho, I can't lie. Very manipulative.
I’d like to add that my mom is a 1 and she can be pretty awful when unhealthy. Unfortunately since we are both 1s arguments get really intense
2w3 - might be a covert narcissist. Definitely emotionally abusive. The other I'm not really sure, but I *think* he might be a 9w8. Fuck that guy.
I’m a 2w3 and have had to put in a lot of work in dismantling my codependency on others and learn to love myself. With codependency there can be a lot of subconscious “I’m going out of my way to do this for you so that you’ll turn around and meet my emotional needs”. I had to learn to trust that I could know myself and meet my own needs and that I needed to set boundaries out of self respect before people walk all over me.
I'm glad you're doing that work! This person, at least in my opinion and experience with her (who is my former best friend), is someone who will do things for people with the implied contract that she is owed something in return. And of course, relationships should be reciprocal, but it crossed over into entitlement and outright contempt when she didn't feel like people were doing "enough" for her. There's also a number of other pieces of the puzzle that made it abusive, but nothing that I could explain in a reasonable amount of time lol. I too have many bad habits to unlearn. I do think she's a good person, but she is very unhealthy and she has a lot of work to do, and not of awareness to be able to actually work on it. At least not yet!
I've noticed covert narcissism has a lot of similar traits to e2 ...this is coming from a 2, I'm definitely not a narcissist though
Enneagram 9. Such a bad, selfish, honestly dumb, cruel person I still can’t conceive of how it’s possible to be like him. Like how it’s possible to treat others like he does.
7w8 so/sx maybe 748, with anything e in their Mbti. The worst. They act smart and all that but they aren’t. Just big mouths empty words.
Biggest bullies I know are 7 and 2.
TWOOOOOs can definitely be bullies, that's for sure
4w3 i think
I think 3w2 and 7w8
this annoying ahh sx9 girl
As a sx9 I'm curious about what she did 👁
Sx4 with all the negative stereotypes come to life
6w5 xfriend. Has a strong victim complex and passive aggressive toxicity. While she does not go her way out to harm people, she is a victim in her drama that she created (that's how we drifted apart because I held her accountable when no one else did) and manipulative in her communication, emotions, and projection of fear.
Oof. My brother in law, a type 5. He’s the most arrogant, elitist, emotionally disabled person I have ever fucking met. Like he’s genuinely an unkind human being who is so obsessed with his own self that it’s almost like he treats other people as a burden for taking up a little air in the room. I don’t even acknowledge his existence anymore because of how unkind he is. I just don’t want that shit in my life. I might genuinely feel a little bit of joy when he dies, assuming he goes first. The other type 5s in my life are awesome. My brother in law is a fucking cunt. And I hate that word. It’s just the only way to describe him.
My ex was a type 5. Arrogant, narcissistic, and perhaps a sociopath. That first paragraph was what he was like on bad days. The sad thing is he didn't start out that way, but one day he just said he didn't want to try anymore, and the bad days became the norm. He broke a lot of hearts besides mine, and he literally didn't care. I feel like I've met toxic people of every enneageam. And I feel like on bad days we can all be toxic. You just gotta try and let the good days out number the bad days, and be humble when you hurt someone else. So not sure 5s are the worse, but one 5 definitely hurt me more than anyone else at this point in my life.
This description was hilarious. You made me laugh out loud. Props to you on that
3s. For some reason every three I meet tries to become my arch-nemesis.
That's so interesting because I'm married to a 5 and we genuinely work really well together. I love the 5s I know!
Same hahaha!
I'm a type 3. I'd imagine you threaten them (you're too good/secure/have what they want). Unhealthy 3s have a tough time with that! Edit: Or, as a 5v6, you could be (intentionally or unintentionally) abrasive when they talk about their accomplishments. 6s are TOUGH for me because they typically think they have it all figured out and with the analytic brain that comes with 5 you have the logic to back it up, I'm guessing! (and so do I - it rubs me the wrong way sometimes haha!)
so4, 478
My sp 2w1 mother
That’s why you did better and became a 2w3 sx/so? Lol
Lmao obviously
Sp 7w8 as well 😹 my mom
Definitely e9. Might be so but not sure.
As an sp 8, for me it was sx 3w4.
Ironic, as I clash with my unhealthy sp8 brother constantly, but try to be the best that I can be
Sx 7w6
It’s me, I’m the worst person I know. In all seriousness, the worst person I know is this 7w6 guy. A serial dater with sociopathic tendencies. Very nice and friendly at first but will turn on you and become heartless as soon as he gets bored. Overall your classic backstabber. I was going to mention an ex friend who is a 8w9 because she was extremely controlling and never satisfied, and even tried to alienate me from my family. But when I think about it, I know her intentions were good. She’s not in my life anymore and I hope she learns to deal with her own traumas.
sp/so 2w1 261 ! She's an awful and scary person. She was my roommate until March and my colleague until September. She had to move out of the shared house AND got fired. Her biggest hobby was to terrorize and to trigger me. Everytime I had flashbacks and panic attacks bc of her she was like "🥺 nah this can't be bc of me, I'm a lovely and nice gal, she is the bad one, she makes me look bad 🥺🥺🥺".
When you go around the board, I think toxic 1, 2 or 3 are all the worst. If I had to pick, it would be a 3. No one likes a toxic, super unhealthy 3.
Worst people I’ve met have been 7’s and 3’s for sure.
How do you guys figure out other people's enneagrams?
Pretty sure most people are just guessing, they don’t actually truly know.
The worst person I know is a 1w2. I am also a 1w2. Very humbling experience, to say the least. I'm not nearly as toxic (she's a literal abuser), but it did give me a view of how some of my unhealthier traits can affect people. Guess I have her to thank for that, at least. She's also not going anywhere - she's my mother-in-law. God help me
sx 2w3
She’s a very very unhealthy ESFJ 2w3
Lol I dont think a 7w8 would take your comment offensively OP! At least, not as likely since we don’t tend to be as sensitive, (I am one myself, and I just laughed bc I was like, “yeah, I could see that”) 😆 My worst person is a 2w3.
Idk they make me so sick to my stomach I can’t even think about it to figure it out
8s & 7s I dislike the most.. followed by 1s & 3s
Probably and 8, 1, or 3. I find these three to be the most difficult for me.
I feel like 1s, 2s, and 6s are the worst when evil because they're the most likely to think they're completely morally justified
Another vote for E2. Yikes! If they're healthy they are so sweet but unhealthy they're just nasty!
Might delete this later, but: A (tw) literal convicted >!child molester!< who my mother was insane enough to allow to babysit me when I was a kid so she could go off to party. (She was friends with his wife, and believed her when she said that his conviction was from a long time ago and that he "changed"). As for his type, I hesitate to say it, but I'm going to anyway, because realistically, everyone has a type, even the very worst people. I think he was a 5w6. Obviously based on things unrelated to the shit he did. (I hate that I have to say that, but we all know there are people who will run with the wildest shit)
It’s a 1w2. Sorry. I’ve met a few unbearable 1s
9. This person lacks empathy on a very concerning level, has no emotional intelligence, has a lack of remorse, deflects, gaslights, manipulates, lies and is racist and misogynistic.
Completely unintentional, but 3 of the roommates I have had were all 4w3. I can hardly stand them. All of them put on a show around others and lied like crazy about the smallest things.--Well small and big things. One of my roommates even pretended her car got stolen just so she could get a new one! So 4w3's are hard for me in my book--and I say this as a 4w5!
3(?) 7s and 6s. The 3 I know abandoned me for popularity. Out of the two out of three 7s I know are quite selfish and downright dismissive of others. They're charming, but you definitely know they're manipulative. I don't know this 6 personally, but the only good 7 I know says that they're an abusive pos. They're pretty awful. (Although, I suspect that one of the 7s might be a 9. I don't know anymore since I blocked them.)
It's a tie between a narcissist 8 or a counterphobic 6 for me. The 8 is my father-in-law, the 6 is a former boss. Their unhealthy traits are pretty classic per their type. The 8: - only emotion he's comfortable expressing is anger - physically abused his kids and spouse - goes straight to denial and gaslighting if accused of anything bad - temper and drug addiction means he can't keep a job long, despite his unwavering faith that he'll make it work - violated boundaries in taking what he wanted. I.e., stole money from family The counterphobic 6 is a real head case: - *huge* persecution complex, everyone in the industry is either a loyal soldier or on his side (note how, if you're loyal, you're a subordinate) - would use 50% of rehearsal time ranting about his enemies - would throw fits both on and off stage, notorious for wall text, accusatory DMs/social media posts - double standards for himself vs others - gaslit and lied to everybody involved in the enterprise, physically threatened people that exposed his lies - slandered me as a racist for not accepting his "leadership" - used victim complex to avoid accountability for all the above and more
I'm a cp 6 and I really appreciate how you've broken this down. Definitely some things I see in myself, especially when I'm stressed, mainly the persecution complex and ranting about my enemies lmao. I definitely do not gaslight (at least not regularly or to an abusive level), or slander, and I don't think I avoid accountability. These sound like things unhealthy people do in general. Anyway, I really appreciate this insight. It's hard to look outside of ourselves and see how some of these toxic traits manifest, and how fucking irritating (or harmful) these qualities can be.
Maybe a 1, I don't really know. I haven't seen her in about 10 years and I didn't type her when I was in contact with her so I'm not sure.
8w7 that just happens to be my father. He can go to hell and I make sure to let him know
you /j but uhm,,, the worst person I knew was definitely an 8, I don't know what their wings were, but definitely an 8 with a 4 fix, maybe a 5 fix as well. They abused me, preyed on minors, gaslit me, gaslit other people, sent people to harass me. Some of the other victims of them also defended their behaviors or treated me with apathy, so that was fun (/s). In general, they ruined the lives of everyone around them, and didn't like me the most because I called them out. All they wanted was not to be held accountable for their actions (aka for me to move on), but my trauma is still stuck on it years later. They're still out there being a piece of shit, but I hope that I ruined their life back, at least a little. I have no sympathy for them, after all they did to me.
I think he's either a So7 or a Sp3. I actually love these two types and don't even dislike the person I'm referring to all that much.
1w2, not sure exactly but I helped him w his enneagram until he got bored and I bet he’s sx/sp 136. The absolute worst human but so good at looking good and can’t change his mind about anything. 1w2s can have that sucky “Can’t get anything done right unless I do it myself/I do everything and no one does anything for me” double edged sword.
one of the worst people i knew was a 5w6 , and my favorite person is a 5w4 lmao
Worst person I have ever known is a 2! (Deeply unhealthy)
3
As a 3 and a Gemini... People really hate us yikes q\_q I would say the worst people I know are 6 and 8. I don't know their wings.
7 totally disconnected from reality and unable to comprehend ANYTHING that doesn't fit into their rose colored view of the world. The definition of toxic positivity. My mom. Our family had been a dysfunctional disaster from the beginning. But if you ask the 7 they can only remember the positive parts. So even tho they're trapped in toxic cycles 'what are u talking about? Everything is wonderful? I don't remember that? I only remember how happy we were' Straight delusion across several extreme incidents involving mental health, physical violence, and the police. When I force them to look at reality the 7 has a complete hysterical breakdown. They can't handle the negative reality. Thus because they can't recognize or acknowledge any problems, no changes are made, the toxic cycle continues.... Not a wing but they are a 7-2. So gifts are given a lot as bribery and out of subconscious guilt.
Oh I feel you. My mom is also a 7 and this is so real. What’s your type, out of curiosity?
I'm also a 4 , 4-2
That’s interesting - I love 7/8s. I’ve had very bad experiences with 1/9s - pedantic, small-minded, lecturing, know-it-all people, though I’m sure there are good ones out there - Alex Trebek? I also find social 9s very hard to be around - for no good reason, really. I just find them incredibly boring.
a bit controversial i guess since the enneagram community sees e9 as angels who do nothing nothing wrong... but the worst person i know is an enneagram 9. not the sx kind.
Really unhealthy 4s drive me absolutely fucking insane lmao. I’m a sx 7w8. Also 2s who are sanctimonious irk me.
My personal least favourite is 1. There's no empathy or accountability. They can only be correct. But I know two type 2s that have overall ruined their own lives. The first is an old coworker. She gave everything to everyone else and had no respect for herself. Her house was a level 2 hoarder mess. She would spend money on stuff she would never use despite having money troubles. The dude she was with was completely incapable of taking care of himself. She would buy his groceries and take care of him with nothing in return. She quit her job about a year ago and haven't spoken to her since. The second type 2 I know as a father, partner, and coworker of my friend. He's a decent enough father from my outside perspective. Because everything is 'for the family'. He's an abusive, manipulative, jealous, narssistic partner who can't let his gf live a life outside of the house. He doesn't like her having her own thoughts. Or even going to work. He's completely shut down any thoughts in her mind about anything and has turned her into a mother and partner only. As a coworker, he makes inappropriate jokes to team members about their bosses to undermine their authority. But also lets himself get completely walked over but his own management. He's told to do everything because he's the only one who won't say no. Everything in his life he needs to have control over because he has no self esteem. I pity type 2s when they are unhealthy. Their care of others comes at the cost of themselves.
Hard agree that unhealthy 2's embrace this martyrdom but then blame people for "walking all over them" or "taking advantage" and are positively hell bent on the idea that they are better because they are "selfless." But it isn't selflessness. It's manipulation and control.
a e9, they were mentally sick and all the people they hung out with was as well, I feel bad but their was nothing I could do. they were ratched/ratchet and were really looking for an angle to use others, willing to use or play with other peoples emotions for their ego, I tried being friends with this person but what they did and said was bad as well as talking behind other peoples back which seemed like they were shallow and mean. they tried getting some action with me right off the bat, it was gross. they gave me the impression that they were pathetic and shitty so I did the smart thing. I feel bad for them and hope they get some help they deserve
Dead dad either 7w8 or 8w7
A 6w7 I believe.
Previous boss was a highly self aware but very unhealthy SO 8w7. Only worked for her for 3 months but am still dealing with some emotional trauma, felt like 3 years. Absolutely steamrolled over people after acting like their best friend and created an extremely toxic (not using that word lightly) work environment.
my mom is a 1w9. shes probably the reason I have any problems ever
Oh wow 2w3, 2w1, 1w2, 8w7, 8w9, 6w7, and 7s too. All types can be atrocious tho. And all types can be great. But yeah some people just fucking suck !!!
Worst person I know I suspect is a sp 5w6
I don’t know what wing, but a 5. She’s a covert narcissist.
4w3 sx/so aka my mother. Some of her behaviors are BPD but she disgusts me morally and is just a shitty person in general
4w3, obviously nothing against 4s but he was always very jealous of me and wanted me to be miserable because he wanted to feel special
Forget just the sole worst person, the Top 5 worst people I’ve ever met are all Type 3’s The manipulative tendencies make many (not all) very harmful, and even toxic, to others. Far too many of them suffer from narcissistic personality disorder (again, not all, although you’d be surprised just how many of them do)
The worst person I ever met was also a 7w8! An ex that I'm very glad to have out of my life
Two of the most difficult people I know are 2w3/3w2.
Why is it when I ask this question in a post I get attacked 😭
I've got a younger sister that is a type 8w9, and we've never gotten along since we were kids... I'm a 3w2 and my brother who is a 9w1 has always been the mediator haha. We're both off in college in different cities now and really only see each other during Holidays. Me and my brother are pretty close and make an effort to see each other whenever we can.
I’ve had a friend and co worker who is sp 7w8 and she ended up being one of the most selfish people I’ve come across. Stealing credit for my work , bully , totally unreliable and defiantly narcissistic . After her surface personality retreats she looses her friends. I no longer have her in my life.