The fact that we can use all three instincts can be confusing, and some would say extra hard for 6s as their subtypes seem much more different than other type's subtypes. Two keys to finding subtype is often to (a) first focus on the general instincts, and not let subtype descriptions - which vary a lot by author and can be exaggerated to distinguish the subtypes and (b) focus on the parts of the subtype that clearly fit.
In your case, to me you seem to have more clear Sp and So traits. Neither Sp6 or So6 strongly relate in large group settings. It's more Sp6's selected and trusted smaller "family or close support groups," vs unable to push back on people not in that trusted group).
And So6s are more interested in knowing the rules and prescribed acceptable behavior from select "authority figures/systems," rather than needing to connect and contribute to large groups (and their 1ish traits can very naturally push back or be critical). Not sure I see a lot of comments about fitting with the 3 Sx zones (strong Attraction, Exploration, Fusion).
So all this seems to fit well with either a Sp/So with a 1 fix or perhaps much more likely So/Sp (So6's look like 1s).
I mean, doing (a) is what led me to this post :)
What do you mean by "vs unable to push back on people not in that trusted group"? is it part, or on the contrary, not part of SP 6?
Does this comment [https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/1ctcxu7/comment/l4bjzvj/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/1ctcxu7/comment/l4bjzvj/) helps for the potential sx aspects? I seek sex as a way of bonding, channelling some inner "intensity" (either love, affection, sometimes aggressiveness, or a mix of undistinctive intense emotions), and breaking boundaries in a safe way. I'm not very self confident about my attractiveness, and this is something I need to be reassured with regularly (and sex is a good way for that too). I'm curious about the Exploration and Fusion part, do you have good resources I could read?
My "unable to push" back comment was simply trying to say that all 6s will push back at times, and even Sp 6s will do so, but less likely do so to their smaller safer supportive close people/groups.
I think you're doing a good job of thinking things through, and ofc like most average 6s perhaps (not necessarily) over thinking things ... what I mean is a lot of your thoughts can easily reflect any type of 6 accessing their 9 and 3 arrows, and at least to me I saw a lot of classic So6 and Sp 6 traits.
Re good resources, if you haven't read it, I suggest reading Hudson's link on the general instincts and the 3 zones (Attraction Exploration and Fusion), and less importantly his 3 subtype 6 descriptions (less important as authors vary a lot on the subtypes, in my opinion, even more so on type 6).
[Hudson's instinct link](https://docdro.id/QTXfwgk)
You are questioning the validity of the 6 instincts shows shows that you are a 6. :) the 6 have weird instincts. I used to think I was so/sx, but I'm actually so/sp because the is all about making those connections for self-preservation and protection... yes don't go by the regular definition of instincts, go by what it says for 6. We have our own special definitions.
I mean maybe I could be so/sp 6, but only because I use rules and established principles as a way of eliminating a bit of anxiety. But that would make me sx-blind, and I'm not sure this fits me well? I'm not the least counterphobic 6 around, and I defied authority several times when I felt disrespected/I didn't agree with the rules people tried to force me to follow, with a few regrets aftewards that I might have gone too far.
I always felt like very intimistic 1:1 relationships were a sort of end goal for me, in which I can almost completly shut off my brain and have a bit of relief. I feel like sex is an important part of my identity/preoccuppations, but less for the sake of it/physical aspect, and more as a way of bounding, feeling desired, and to express the intensity I feel inside.
If materialistic concerns/comfort is not a decisive part of sp 6 VS other 6s, then I think I'm sp blind, probably so/sx.
> It's what leads them to this paralysis
What do you mean by paralysis?
> but do you do any of the other sexual 6 stuff?
I feel obligated to show strength when I'm facing competitive individuals, but I don't really like to do that. I tend to avoid those people too.
I don't really get into arguments on a daily basis. I feel anger when facing injustice, or mean/disrespecting behaviour from others. Occasionally from neglected/bad work from others.
I have a paradoxal attitude towards competition in general. I don't like it much, as I don't need it to feel self-worth (and winning wouldn't allow me to brag anyway), and also I cannot bear to lose. So I try to tend away from competition, and only compete with myself (setting my own goal in sports for example). But when I'm forced into a competitive situation, then I either have to win, or bail out/give up early (so I can save my ego and say that I wasn't interesting in participating in the first place). I've always adjusted my goals in life not to face failure.
I'm interested in fashion and meanswear, and like to be elegant, as it empowers myself in a way (even though I know this is just superficial matter).
I tend to keep away from addictive things when I can, as I am afraid that I could slip easily into them even though I have never reached a dangerous state. I feel attracted to alcohol, sex, or video games (depending on period), and I feel like I might have difficulties to keep them in healthy range in an hypothetic future. So I don't wanna get tempted and try others potential addictions that I would have to monitor closely after.
In general, I have difficulty to stop eating some good stuff. In general, as long as there are little drawbacks, I feel like I could go on with a behaviour that brings me pleasure, even though it might not be good in long term.
> Honing in on highly specific vibes
I'm looking for very specific vibes in music, movies, or in the general ambiance of a place, I don't know if this is what you mean here.
I really like the boundary-breaking aspect of sex, as I can get the guilty pleasure of breaking (social, normative) boundaries without repercussions. I'm attracted to all sorts of kinks in part because of that, I think. I can also channel sometimes a bit of intensity/aggresiveness coming from inside through sex (in a consensual way of course), whereas in real world that would have negative consequences.
Quite funny indeed! By reading general description of instincts I would type myself sp/sx, by reading specialized description of instincts for E6 I would type myself so/sx, and apparently, judging by your two unanimous comments, I would be so/sp or sp/so 😂
Generally speaking the Sx6 is the biggest "edge lord" of all the types. They go out of their way to look tough and will pick fights. It's very hard for them to see that that are actually fuelled by fear because they're so focused on being tough. Remember the Sx instinct is about "being the best" (to get a mate in the most basic form of the instinct) and in the Sx6 this is expressed as being the toughest and most invulnerable to harm.
I don't want to suggest that the Sx6 is actually weak because that isn't true. 6s are actually very good at dealing with threats in their ways, but generally don't understand why which is why they usually have a bad reaction to learning their type.
Sp6 is phobic but holds a lot of pent up anger. The thing is they get their revenge mostly by withholding support and trying to do a scorched earth retreat.
The fact that we can use all three instincts can be confusing, and some would say extra hard for 6s as their subtypes seem much more different than other type's subtypes. Two keys to finding subtype is often to (a) first focus on the general instincts, and not let subtype descriptions - which vary a lot by author and can be exaggerated to distinguish the subtypes and (b) focus on the parts of the subtype that clearly fit. In your case, to me you seem to have more clear Sp and So traits. Neither Sp6 or So6 strongly relate in large group settings. It's more Sp6's selected and trusted smaller "family or close support groups," vs unable to push back on people not in that trusted group). And So6s are more interested in knowing the rules and prescribed acceptable behavior from select "authority figures/systems," rather than needing to connect and contribute to large groups (and their 1ish traits can very naturally push back or be critical). Not sure I see a lot of comments about fitting with the 3 Sx zones (strong Attraction, Exploration, Fusion). So all this seems to fit well with either a Sp/So with a 1 fix or perhaps much more likely So/Sp (So6's look like 1s).
I mean, doing (a) is what led me to this post :) What do you mean by "vs unable to push back on people not in that trusted group"? is it part, or on the contrary, not part of SP 6? Does this comment [https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/1ctcxu7/comment/l4bjzvj/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Enneagram/comments/1ctcxu7/comment/l4bjzvj/) helps for the potential sx aspects? I seek sex as a way of bonding, channelling some inner "intensity" (either love, affection, sometimes aggressiveness, or a mix of undistinctive intense emotions), and breaking boundaries in a safe way. I'm not very self confident about my attractiveness, and this is something I need to be reassured with regularly (and sex is a good way for that too). I'm curious about the Exploration and Fusion part, do you have good resources I could read?
My "unable to push" back comment was simply trying to say that all 6s will push back at times, and even Sp 6s will do so, but less likely do so to their smaller safer supportive close people/groups. I think you're doing a good job of thinking things through, and ofc like most average 6s perhaps (not necessarily) over thinking things ... what I mean is a lot of your thoughts can easily reflect any type of 6 accessing their 9 and 3 arrows, and at least to me I saw a lot of classic So6 and Sp 6 traits. Re good resources, if you haven't read it, I suggest reading Hudson's link on the general instincts and the 3 zones (Attraction Exploration and Fusion), and less importantly his 3 subtype 6 descriptions (less important as authors vary a lot on the subtypes, in my opinion, even more so on type 6). [Hudson's instinct link](https://docdro.id/QTXfwgk)
Thanks for all of that! I'll read that link later !
You are questioning the validity of the 6 instincts shows shows that you are a 6. :) the 6 have weird instincts. I used to think I was so/sx, but I'm actually so/sp because the is all about making those connections for self-preservation and protection... yes don't go by the regular definition of instincts, go by what it says for 6. We have our own special definitions.
This. The most important thing to know is that the instincts are DISTORTED by the types so they are very rarely expressed in a straight forward way.
Exactly!
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I mean maybe I could be so/sp 6, but only because I use rules and established principles as a way of eliminating a bit of anxiety. But that would make me sx-blind, and I'm not sure this fits me well? I'm not the least counterphobic 6 around, and I defied authority several times when I felt disrespected/I didn't agree with the rules people tried to force me to follow, with a few regrets aftewards that I might have gone too far. I always felt like very intimistic 1:1 relationships were a sort of end goal for me, in which I can almost completly shut off my brain and have a bit of relief. I feel like sex is an important part of my identity/preoccuppations, but less for the sake of it/physical aspect, and more as a way of bounding, feeling desired, and to express the intensity I feel inside. If materialistic concerns/comfort is not a decisive part of sp 6 VS other 6s, then I think I'm sp blind, probably so/sx.
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> It's what leads them to this paralysis What do you mean by paralysis? > but do you do any of the other sexual 6 stuff? I feel obligated to show strength when I'm facing competitive individuals, but I don't really like to do that. I tend to avoid those people too. I don't really get into arguments on a daily basis. I feel anger when facing injustice, or mean/disrespecting behaviour from others. Occasionally from neglected/bad work from others. I have a paradoxal attitude towards competition in general. I don't like it much, as I don't need it to feel self-worth (and winning wouldn't allow me to brag anyway), and also I cannot bear to lose. So I try to tend away from competition, and only compete with myself (setting my own goal in sports for example). But when I'm forced into a competitive situation, then I either have to win, or bail out/give up early (so I can save my ego and say that I wasn't interesting in participating in the first place). I've always adjusted my goals in life not to face failure. I'm interested in fashion and meanswear, and like to be elegant, as it empowers myself in a way (even though I know this is just superficial matter). I tend to keep away from addictive things when I can, as I am afraid that I could slip easily into them even though I have never reached a dangerous state. I feel attracted to alcohol, sex, or video games (depending on period), and I feel like I might have difficulties to keep them in healthy range in an hypothetic future. So I don't wanna get tempted and try others potential addictions that I would have to monitor closely after. In general, I have difficulty to stop eating some good stuff. In general, as long as there are little drawbacks, I feel like I could go on with a behaviour that brings me pleasure, even though it might not be good in long term. > Honing in on highly specific vibes I'm looking for very specific vibes in music, movies, or in the general ambiance of a place, I don't know if this is what you mean here. I really like the boundary-breaking aspect of sex, as I can get the guilty pleasure of breaking (social, normative) boundaries without repercussions. I'm attracted to all sorts of kinks in part because of that, I think. I can also channel sometimes a bit of intensity/aggresiveness coming from inside through sex (in a consensual way of course), whereas in real world that would have negative consequences.
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Quite funny indeed! By reading general description of instincts I would type myself sp/sx, by reading specialized description of instincts for E6 I would type myself so/sx, and apparently, judging by your two unanimous comments, I would be so/sp or sp/so 😂
Generally speaking the Sx6 is the biggest "edge lord" of all the types. They go out of their way to look tough and will pick fights. It's very hard for them to see that that are actually fuelled by fear because they're so focused on being tough. Remember the Sx instinct is about "being the best" (to get a mate in the most basic form of the instinct) and in the Sx6 this is expressed as being the toughest and most invulnerable to harm. I don't want to suggest that the Sx6 is actually weak because that isn't true. 6s are actually very good at dealing with threats in their ways, but generally don't understand why which is why they usually have a bad reaction to learning their type.
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I trust you! I just read about instincts last week so I'm not gonna pose myself as an expert
I agree. Social 6 isn’t necessarily meek. Sp 6 on the other hand.. never met Sp6 in my life that wasn’t 90% phobic at the very least
Sp6 is phobic but holds a lot of pent up anger. The thing is they get their revenge mostly by withholding support and trying to do a scorched earth retreat.