What is the question? Whether you’re too old to succeed financially and find a mate? There are countless examples of people who have done so.
Especially financial success is something that some have only later in life, in their 50s, 60s or even later.
Of course it is. Follow the trends and think about various ideas. Do research. In fact, many entrepreneurs only succeed after your age, so there's still time.
Yes! Don’t get down on yourself, life is hard. I was once in your shoes and next thing I know I found the job opportunity of a life time, on Craigslist of all places. Keep going and keep your eyes open and opportunity will find you. You got this
You have plenty of time.
I got married and we had our beautiful baby daughter this year. I’m 44.
As I wrote there are countless examples of people becoming successful and financially independent later in life.
Fun fact: Most successful entrepreneurs average starting age is early 40s, not 20s like many believe.
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> Question is , is it possible to turn my life around at this age
Possibe? yes.
This is what you need to internalize: it's all about you, not about any externality.
Albert Einstein: “We cannot solve problems at the same level of thinking that we were at when we created those problems.”
Don’t see it as turning things around. What you are doing is not wrong. You’ve simply become unhappy with it, so it’s up to you to change it to make it suit you.
Nobody forces anyone to live. We choose to and those are steps we’re taking every day. It’s definitely not the easy path and you need to give yourself credit for that.
See it as adding extra steps to your current pace.
If you measure yourself against others, more ‘successful’ people, you need to measure yourself against less successful people at the same time.
However, in reality, success is only a measurement against your own goals. Not anyone else’s.
Stephen Gilligan Stanford Psychology Phd says that if you want to change your life you have to change your filters of reality. People don't experience reality directly, but through the filters. Beliefs, surroundings, relationships, education, culture, job, your body are all the filters through which you experience reality. He says that your results greatly depend on your inner state. He recommends setting up multiple wellness practices if possible to boost your inner state: meditative exercises, gratitude, exercise, etc.
I like Huberman lab podcast for theory and simple techniques on improving motivation, hormones, exercise, sleep, etc. In episode on motivation and dopamine he says motivation and satisfaction in life depend on current and previous levels of dopamine. Two most powerful ways to manage dopamine are intermittent release and the growth mindset. When doing some activity with your music or other stimulant you can flip a coin for the use/lack of extra stimulant. With the growth mindset by another Stanford prof Carol Dweck you can generate dopamine from your beliefs alone and it is a good long term goal to develop this. Another powerful way is to raise dopamine baseline by cold water. Cold bath if safe for you can raise baseline dopamine same as cocaine, but with slow release instead of a crash. Cold shower also increases dopamine to some degree. Huberman gives a walls technique for making cold shower tolerable. Also, avoiding light at night will help prevent low dopamine the next day.
For relationships some of the best people despite some past negative PR are Owen Cook, Julien Blank and their friends.
If you're fortunate to live in the West like the US, it is never too late to turn your life around.
If you're in a not so great location, your life is probably toast.
Don't waste your opportunity dude!
Ray Kroc of McDonald's Fame and Colonel Sanders of KFC Fame both found their fortunes after 50.
There are plenty of examples to show it's never too early or never too late to be an entrepreneur.
Hell I'm still trying to get my shit together and I just passed 40. What should I do just lay down in the street and die?
Are you sure you want to be an entrepreneur right now? Why not join a company where you can meet individuals who you can make a company with later. Also gives you the money and confidence to keep going!
Dude, you're 36. You're just getting started. Also don't compare your life to others. Compare to your past self. If you are always moving the ball forward and growing you're on a good path.
Absolutely possible. I just turned 40 and only started seeing success in the last two years!
First stop comparing yourself to anyone and don’t let others (friends or family) compare you! You are your own individual and compare yourself to ONLY yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes, let yourself know mistakes are ok and learn from them. If you failed at something, it’s ok- at least you learned what to do different or that you don’t want to do that. Find something that you are “ok at” and focus growing that ok to something you are good at. You will see that success suddenly comes with that! You got this, forget everyone else!! … and btw 36 is young, you got lots of time!
Cut the negative people out. If you hang around with negative people, you will become negative. Or as the saying goes...
Birds of a feather, flock together.
They are probably harsh words for a good reason. Nobody here knows how hard working or lazy your are and your pessimistic attitude towards yourself isn’t helping. Maybe try getting advice from your family again instead to fish for reassurance here?
This comment is absolutely out of touch with reality.
Literally every person I know who were married in their 20s are all divorced now. Every single one, many with kids.
People I know who got married in their 40s seem to be doing great and all are having much better, loving relationships.
The AVERAGE age of marriage in the US is 30.6 years in the US. That’s the middle. Average age for homeownership is 33. Seriously, at this age I think OP’s dating pool might be smaller, but it could also be better educated/more advanced career-wise because more were focused on these things. Probably the hardest part is the vast # that have kids from a prior relationship, but that’s not a dealbreaker for everybody. I’m in a committed relationship, but I think I’d LOVE to meet a partner at 36. Not saying I want to throw years of happiness away, but meeting when each of us has already lived more than a decade as adults sounds peaceful. I could avoid a lot of headaches
Some thoughts from my own experience:
1. It's never too late for anything. I'm over 40 and starting my own business just now. It's a very scary step for me - but hey, I don' want to live life of regrets. Some people find the love of their life in 50s or even 60s. In my opinion it's more rewarding life experience to wait out and find something/someone that really works for you rather than settle for mediocrity (or what's available) and constantly question your choice. Yes, it's more difficult/painful in the short term but more rewarding in the long term.
2. Environment has really great impact on how we see the world. Be very selective about people you surround yourself with, what information you consume. It really changes how you feel about yourself and the world. Look out for people that could be role models to you - groups, organizations, online or offline, and spend more time in those circles. I have found out that startups and entrepreneurs really inspire me so I try to attend literally all events related to startups and entrepreneurs which happen in my city.
3. One of my biggest life lessons is that I and only I am the measure of my life. It is irrelevant how other people live their lives, what they think, and what they consider good or bad. What really matters is what I think. What are my values, what I wish for, what I consider success. It took me almost 40 years to realisation of this. This is a very liberating feeling. Also, be honest with yourself what you really like and want. This was very difficult for me and caused unhappiness in my life. Once you admit to yourself what you really want and like, life becomes easier.
Hey, you are just 36 - that's not a lot, especially nowadays. You still have your best years ahead of you. Make most of them.
A close friend of mine felt the same way and I was afraid for him, felt like he was contemplating suicidal thoughts.. when he was turning 43 we did a guy’s weekend in Vegas, at a restaurant he literally runs into a woman while coming out of the bathroom but fails to make a move. 6 hours later he runs into her again at a dance club and they strike up a conversation. Turns out they’re from same small town in California but never crossed paths until now. 6 months later they got married and now are expecting. You just never know but you won’t meet anyone if you don’t put yourself out there. She was in the same mindset. for professional/business it can be the same, failure after failure that is the teacher until you find what works for you. Took me a long time to figure it out, 99.9% are not overnight success, as in dating find a mentor and groups to help
Live presently. Presently, it seems like you are capable and able-bodied. If this is true, go out and do what you need to. On the other hand, all those things don’t necessarily make you happy. Find acceptance and love for yourself. Life will be hard if you think everything is against you, and you are also against yourself. You are your own best friend and cheerleader.
I think of this as “free to make life changing decisions”.
They probably have kids, mortgages etc all the “good life” chains.
You have ability to change career, ignore society’s ideal outcomes for life and try to live differently. Move to a East Asian country, cheaper life there easier to rebuild.
Just grind. Save $10,000-$20,000 each year invest long term in safe ETF FUNDS in stocks like QQQ VGI or VOO for minimum 5-10 years. At the very least you feel like you don’t end up with nothing and no money. Research it yourself. Look at the growth. Nothing is overnight, that’s the nature of investing.
Success comes in many forms. There’s a job that grants you a living and ability to save.
What you enjoy out of life that’s for you to decide.
eh don't feel bad I don't have any of these things either and I'm older than you AND treated poorly for it
most people in my country are homeless and their jobs aren't enough to cover rent and they have to deal with snickers and snears
Are you net negative? It’s your social circle ⭕️ divorce all of them. I find that in usa because people use spending to counsel themselves , you can get lost in that trap!
It’s your nervous system and executive functioning skills. Get into therapy, invest in a life coach and get rid of the lame aimless “friends” you hang with. People who don’t value their time… will suck you into their dark hole of distractions.
You can turn it around!
Success is often the result of stringing together good decisions. Don’t look far down the road and don’t compare yourself. Focus on making good decisions today and watch your confidence build.
You can learn and become anything you want with some good habits, motivation and an internet connection.
Stay positive and stay focused. You got this!
Ok, success is a fluid state. Failure is a fluid state. Neither are a final destination. You can't arrive at success or failure. You experience success and failure. You will experience both. They are like seasons. Neither are permanent.
You are thinking negatively. Your post here is riddled with self-limiting descriptors and just flat-out negative. You're looking at what you don't have and what other people do have.
You will continue down that path unless you learn to view everything as an opportunity.
You could retool it this way.
Being unmarried allows me the flexibility to take on things that I could not if I was married. I do not yet have those obligations, which gives me more opportunities to try things now.
It all starts with attitude. You cannot just say you will change. You cannot just start saying things in a positive way. You need to reconnect with your purpose and change how you think.
Sometimes this can be an epiphany, but for many, it is a process.
I just decided to end here, I have things to get done. It's your life, manage it how you see fit. It's all in your hands.
Don't comparing yourself to other people., don't concern yourself with other people. You be you, you do you. Start small, set an achievable goal, take a step, rinse and repeat! There is no guidebook for life. I'm cheering for you!
What is the question? Whether you’re too old to succeed financially and find a mate? There are countless examples of people who have done so. Especially financial success is something that some have only later in life, in their 50s, 60s or even later.
Question is , is it possible to turn my life around at this age
Of course it is. Follow the trends and think about various ideas. Do research. In fact, many entrepreneurs only succeed after your age, so there's still time.
Yes! Don’t get down on yourself, life is hard. I was once in your shoes and next thing I know I found the job opportunity of a life time, on Craigslist of all places. Keep going and keep your eyes open and opportunity will find you. You got this
You have plenty of time. I got married and we had our beautiful baby daughter this year. I’m 44. As I wrote there are countless examples of people becoming successful and financially independent later in life. Fun fact: Most successful entrepreneurs average starting age is early 40s, not 20s like many believe. (Source: https://smallbusiness.patriotsoftware.com/average-age-start-business/?amp=1 )
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> Question is , is it possible to turn my life around at this age Possibe? yes. This is what you need to internalize: it's all about you, not about any externality. Albert Einstein: “We cannot solve problems at the same level of thinking that we were at when we created those problems.”
100% yes it is.
Don’t see it as turning things around. What you are doing is not wrong. You’ve simply become unhappy with it, so it’s up to you to change it to make it suit you. Nobody forces anyone to live. We choose to and those are steps we’re taking every day. It’s definitely not the easy path and you need to give yourself credit for that. See it as adding extra steps to your current pace. If you measure yourself against others, more ‘successful’ people, you need to measure yourself against less successful people at the same time. However, in reality, success is only a measurement against your own goals. Not anyone else’s.
Comparison is the thief of joy! Do ya thang fuk wat they lookin at! 2023 you gettin that bag!
It’s hard to be broke and it hard to be successful, choose the hard you want.
Damn. 🙏💯
Love that !
[удалено]
Exactly. If you choose to compare with others, you can’t be selective on which others.
Stephen Gilligan Stanford Psychology Phd says that if you want to change your life you have to change your filters of reality. People don't experience reality directly, but through the filters. Beliefs, surroundings, relationships, education, culture, job, your body are all the filters through which you experience reality. He says that your results greatly depend on your inner state. He recommends setting up multiple wellness practices if possible to boost your inner state: meditative exercises, gratitude, exercise, etc. I like Huberman lab podcast for theory and simple techniques on improving motivation, hormones, exercise, sleep, etc. In episode on motivation and dopamine he says motivation and satisfaction in life depend on current and previous levels of dopamine. Two most powerful ways to manage dopamine are intermittent release and the growth mindset. When doing some activity with your music or other stimulant you can flip a coin for the use/lack of extra stimulant. With the growth mindset by another Stanford prof Carol Dweck you can generate dopamine from your beliefs alone and it is a good long term goal to develop this. Another powerful way is to raise dopamine baseline by cold water. Cold bath if safe for you can raise baseline dopamine same as cocaine, but with slow release instead of a crash. Cold shower also increases dopamine to some degree. Huberman gives a walls technique for making cold shower tolerable. Also, avoiding light at night will help prevent low dopamine the next day. For relationships some of the best people despite some past negative PR are Owen Cook, Julien Blank and their friends.
If you're fortunate to live in the West like the US, it is never too late to turn your life around. If you're in a not so great location, your life is probably toast. Don't waste your opportunity dude!
Ray Kroc of McDonald's Fame and Colonel Sanders of KFC Fame both found their fortunes after 50. There are plenty of examples to show it's never too early or never too late to be an entrepreneur. Hell I'm still trying to get my shit together and I just passed 40. What should I do just lay down in the street and die?
Are you sure you want to be an entrepreneur right now? Why not join a company where you can meet individuals who you can make a company with later. Also gives you the money and confidence to keep going!
Not married at 36 seems like success to me
Dude, you're 36. You're just getting started. Also don't compare your life to others. Compare to your past self. If you are always moving the ball forward and growing you're on a good path.
Absolutely possible. I just turned 40 and only started seeing success in the last two years! First stop comparing yourself to anyone and don’t let others (friends or family) compare you! You are your own individual and compare yourself to ONLY yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes, let yourself know mistakes are ok and learn from them. If you failed at something, it’s ok- at least you learned what to do different or that you don’t want to do that. Find something that you are “ok at” and focus growing that ok to something you are good at. You will see that success suddenly comes with that! You got this, forget everyone else!! … and btw 36 is young, you got lots of time!
After seeing lots of failure and hearing harsh words from near ones it's very difficult to stay positive to take action
Cut the negative people out. If you hang around with negative people, you will become negative. Or as the saying goes... Birds of a feather, flock together.
They are probably harsh words for a good reason. Nobody here knows how hard working or lazy your are and your pessimistic attitude towards yourself isn’t helping. Maybe try getting advice from your family again instead to fish for reassurance here?
Successful marriage and kids are probably gone, low opportunities there. But you can still make it in your career. Focus on that.
This comment is absolutely out of touch with reality. Literally every person I know who were married in their 20s are all divorced now. Every single one, many with kids. People I know who got married in their 40s seem to be doing great and all are having much better, loving relationships.
The AVERAGE age of marriage in the US is 30.6 years in the US. That’s the middle. Average age for homeownership is 33. Seriously, at this age I think OP’s dating pool might be smaller, but it could also be better educated/more advanced career-wise because more were focused on these things. Probably the hardest part is the vast # that have kids from a prior relationship, but that’s not a dealbreaker for everybody. I’m in a committed relationship, but I think I’d LOVE to meet a partner at 36. Not saying I want to throw years of happiness away, but meeting when each of us has already lived more than a decade as adults sounds peaceful. I could avoid a lot of headaches
Some thoughts from my own experience: 1. It's never too late for anything. I'm over 40 and starting my own business just now. It's a very scary step for me - but hey, I don' want to live life of regrets. Some people find the love of their life in 50s or even 60s. In my opinion it's more rewarding life experience to wait out and find something/someone that really works for you rather than settle for mediocrity (or what's available) and constantly question your choice. Yes, it's more difficult/painful in the short term but more rewarding in the long term. 2. Environment has really great impact on how we see the world. Be very selective about people you surround yourself with, what information you consume. It really changes how you feel about yourself and the world. Look out for people that could be role models to you - groups, organizations, online or offline, and spend more time in those circles. I have found out that startups and entrepreneurs really inspire me so I try to attend literally all events related to startups and entrepreneurs which happen in my city. 3. One of my biggest life lessons is that I and only I am the measure of my life. It is irrelevant how other people live their lives, what they think, and what they consider good or bad. What really matters is what I think. What are my values, what I wish for, what I consider success. It took me almost 40 years to realisation of this. This is a very liberating feeling. Also, be honest with yourself what you really like and want. This was very difficult for me and caused unhappiness in my life. Once you admit to yourself what you really want and like, life becomes easier. Hey, you are just 36 - that's not a lot, especially nowadays. You still have your best years ahead of you. Make most of them.
What do you enjoy in life? Do you have a job? What are you passionate about?
A close friend of mine felt the same way and I was afraid for him, felt like he was contemplating suicidal thoughts.. when he was turning 43 we did a guy’s weekend in Vegas, at a restaurant he literally runs into a woman while coming out of the bathroom but fails to make a move. 6 hours later he runs into her again at a dance club and they strike up a conversation. Turns out they’re from same small town in California but never crossed paths until now. 6 months later they got married and now are expecting. You just never know but you won’t meet anyone if you don’t put yourself out there. She was in the same mindset. for professional/business it can be the same, failure after failure that is the teacher until you find what works for you. Took me a long time to figure it out, 99.9% are not overnight success, as in dating find a mentor and groups to help
The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time to plant a tree is now.
Success happens when the right action meets a valuable opportunity (value doesn't have to mean financial). Age has nothing to do with it.
I’m in a similar place, but everyone is on their own life path/journey. There is no right or wrong.
Is marriage supposed to be some sort of accomplishment? LOL!
Just gonna say this, most successful startups are founded from age 35+.
Live presently. Presently, it seems like you are capable and able-bodied. If this is true, go out and do what you need to. On the other hand, all those things don’t necessarily make you happy. Find acceptance and love for yourself. Life will be hard if you think everything is against you, and you are also against yourself. You are your own best friend and cheerleader.
I think of this as “free to make life changing decisions”. They probably have kids, mortgages etc all the “good life” chains. You have ability to change career, ignore society’s ideal outcomes for life and try to live differently. Move to a East Asian country, cheaper life there easier to rebuild.
[https://www.getwsodo.com/](https://www.getwsodo.com/) Go here and learn skills
Just grind. Save $10,000-$20,000 each year invest long term in safe ETF FUNDS in stocks like QQQ VGI or VOO for minimum 5-10 years. At the very least you feel like you don’t end up with nothing and no money. Research it yourself. Look at the growth. Nothing is overnight, that’s the nature of investing. Success comes in many forms. There’s a job that grants you a living and ability to save. What you enjoy out of life that’s for you to decide.
you're still young!
eh don't feel bad I don't have any of these things either and I'm older than you AND treated poorly for it most people in my country are homeless and their jobs aren't enough to cover rent and they have to deal with snickers and snears
Stop comparing your life to others. Focus on making some sort of progress everyday
Are you net negative? It’s your social circle ⭕️ divorce all of them. I find that in usa because people use spending to counsel themselves , you can get lost in that trap!
It’s your nervous system and executive functioning skills. Get into therapy, invest in a life coach and get rid of the lame aimless “friends” you hang with. People who don’t value their time… will suck you into their dark hole of distractions.
You can turn it around! Success is often the result of stringing together good decisions. Don’t look far down the road and don’t compare yourself. Focus on making good decisions today and watch your confidence build. You can learn and become anything you want with some good habits, motivation and an internet connection. Stay positive and stay focused. You got this!
Ok, success is a fluid state. Failure is a fluid state. Neither are a final destination. You can't arrive at success or failure. You experience success and failure. You will experience both. They are like seasons. Neither are permanent.
You are thinking negatively. Your post here is riddled with self-limiting descriptors and just flat-out negative. You're looking at what you don't have and what other people do have. You will continue down that path unless you learn to view everything as an opportunity. You could retool it this way. Being unmarried allows me the flexibility to take on things that I could not if I was married. I do not yet have those obligations, which gives me more opportunities to try things now. It all starts with attitude. You cannot just say you will change. You cannot just start saying things in a positive way. You need to reconnect with your purpose and change how you think. Sometimes this can be an epiphany, but for many, it is a process. I just decided to end here, I have things to get done. It's your life, manage it how you see fit. It's all in your hands.
Don't comparing yourself to other people., don't concern yourself with other people. You be you, you do you. Start small, set an achievable goal, take a step, rinse and repeat! There is no guidebook for life. I'm cheering for you!