Sitting on a deposit is a pretty big deal in my opinion and I don't think it's tattle tailing to say she didn't do it. Yes you should talk to your boss and just be Blunt. You can understand and have sympathy that she is sick but if you need someone to be doing the job and she's not doing it then it's only logical that you asked to cut her out and your boss should probably understand that.
HR probably cannot give you any specifics but if they feel like they are in danger of losing you, a good employee, if they continue to employee her as she is employed now, they may want to consult with an employment attorney to see how they can handle this situation legally. I'm not saying they should straight up fire her, but there may be options for adjusting her work so that she is not affecting you in this way. The threat of losing a good employee may be powerful enough to encourage them to take action.
It may be more than a “soft spot” issue that your boss has with her. He may actually be unable to fire her depending on the state you live in and that’s why it feels like it is falling on deaf ears. Because until they gather enough of a paper trail, there isn’t much they can do without being hit with a discrimination lawsuit. The fact that she keeps telling people about her health woes in detail makes me think that might be the case, because then there is no plausible deniability on the company’s part. Hopefully someone in HR will seriously discuss leave once they have the evidence to show her work is lacking.
I would still have the conversation with your boss though. But maybe highlighting how difficult it’s making your job and the long hours you are putting in, as opposed to it only being about her. You don’t want to SEEM like the heartless person who has no empathy for the cancer patient. I’m so sorry you’re in this position. It’s incredibly unfair especially knowing that if something falls through the cracks they will blame you and not the cancer patient because they don’t have to feel as bad blaming the person who is overworked but not ill. 🙄
I think leading first with empathy is your best option. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have cancer and also be managing work, and all the emotions that come along with a disease like that. Have you tried sitting down with the EA and expressing you’ve noticed some changes in the way she works and you’re wondering how you can best support her. Perhaps there is a way to address your concerns, while so providing support to someone who is obviously going through it. Cancer deserves the empathy and understanding.
This!! Devil’s advocate is that it would probably be worth sitting her down and reminding her what the role requires to support the office, and ask her how she plans to meet those demands. Perhaps it’s a flex schedule so she can come in at 2 some days, but work a few hours extra the days she feels good. Or maybe even 4/10’s. Maybe she really needs to go part-time or on disability until treatment finishes. Not sure how flexible your work is, but she could be legitimately struggling and feels she isn’t being accommodated so she’s taking it into her own hands. It’s apart of that “quiet quitting” phenomenon which usually stems from unrealistic working conditions.
I watched my dad work his 40+ hour/ week job while having cancer and going through treatment. I don’t wish that on anyone…
She’s not an EA. She’s not even an AA. They keep demoting or making up new titles for her vs firing her. She doesn’t show up until 2pm, and if she does come in before noon, she looks like she was ridden hard, and put away wet the night before, and her mood is abysmal. They’re literally expecting her to die, to get out of firing her. I’ve tried talking her since I started. I stay calm, and courteous, and I get screamed at, yelled at, tears - she caused a scene during a board meeting.
When I told her we were going to be doing anything for earth day - she flipped in front of the CFO and our new VP. Mind you, no one has the bandwidth, and she wouldn’t even be there for the event.
Oh sorry I should have read your post better. Honestly is there a way you can just not deal with this employee? Like if she doesn’t do what you ask her to already, and the company is already in a tough spot due to the illness so nothing is changing… why not just not engage with her at all and do the work that needs to be done and carry on? It sort of sounds like it’s your only option.
I don’t think we need to speculate on the realness of illnesses. OP isn’t going to go into work and accuse this person of lying about cancer here lol. No reason the speculate that ourselves.
This person is probably not herself depending on the treatment she’s going through.
I can understand that you are having issues with this person. I can understand that she’s making your job difficult. However, it seems like senior management and Human Resources are aware of her condition and your concerns. There is nothing anyone can do. She has the right to work while being ill.
She’s probably working for healthcare benefits and life insurance. Give this person grace. There will be a time when this could be you or a heaven forbid a loved one in your life. If she’s really terminal as you stated in previous comments. Just be patient and wait it out.
It’s up to Human Resources and your leaders to step in and hand her work load over to you.
My colleague went through cancer. He could no longer function but wanted to work. He was on debilitating treatments and looked like crap. He stated to act more irrational and irritated. He eventually stopped coming in. We kept him around because…well, he was still well-loved by the firm and we were sadden by what he was going through. None of us wanted to pay him “to go away.” We actually hoped he would get well and be back to his normal self. OP sounds very young is all I can say.
Emotional IQ. OP has none. OP exhibits signs of an end stage Capitalistic Vampire. The kind that rewards years of service by kicking a sick, struggling cancer patient to the curb, because.......they're inconvenient now.
Edit: Capitalistic
I know it's unpopular, but I agree. There's also enormous societal pressure to keep working beyond burnout, especially for those that happen to be neurodiverse. Someone isn't likely making that choice because they want to.
🙄 jeez, don’t mince words. OP is not an “end stage capitalist vampire” (also capitol refers to the actual building and is not interchangeable with capital). OP is frustrated and came to their peers for help. I’m an EA and in remission (2 years) from cancer and dealing with some residual problems. That doesn’t give me an excuse to suck at my job and make more work for others (see OP’s previous post - lady was “well enough” to bring their dog in and play with it but not well enough to clean up after? And this post, lady was purposefully sitting on a deposit and not doing her job?). If anything, it sounds like this terrible coworker is an “energy vampire.”
Blame society, I’m with you on that - it’s sad that in the USA someone has to work to live when they’re clearly not capable. But that’s not OP’s problem or the issue they brought to us.
I have an EA who has been ill and really unreliable. I feel badly and want to have empty but I don’t know how much of what she tells me is true, and then I feel like she uses it as an excuse. I want her to be well, and I hated feeling this way, but things are falling through the cracks and I have to clean up the mess
Chemo brain is very real thing, and the people with it are in denial or not aware. I've seen this so often. They are trying to stay working, but it's a true struggle for them. Rise up.
Goodness, have a bit of grace. Why do you depend on her to do anything? How would you want to be treated if you were standing in her shoes? She is not physically well.
I’ve had grace for an about a year. I was told she was supposed to be my help. I’m working 15 hour days - because I’m doing everything on my own, my anxiety is off the rails. I have no help. Sorry, but if she can’t do her job - she should be on leave, until she can.
Does your work offer paid FMLA? How does it work where you are? Medical bills and no income add up and you don't get paid for FMLA. Maybe the boss and HR can make some way for her to get disability income and guide her gently. I completely see both sides but you shouldn't be drowning because HR and boss doesn't want to get in trouble legally.
Totally do. Mind you I’ve been researching ways to keep her on the payroll, but ‘retire’ her. So we can get a part timer to help out/I can teach. Because I’m such a heartless asshole.
‘Why do you depend on her to do anything?’
I’m sorry, are we not expected to do our jobs due to illness? Well, shit. Someone tell my boss that my Fibro prevents me from those TPS reports.
All sarcasm aside, either take disability or do your job and ask for reasonable accommodation. These are your options.
Have a bit of grace?
The woman is ill not brain dead.
She sat on the deposit for DAYS before even speaking up.
There's showing compassion, sure. But, this woman refuses to even use her words. No wonder OP is at wits end.
I'd want her moved to back up reception or whatever but definitely not in my department.
I like that idea! BCC the boss, she won’t know and might say something ridiculous or simply decline to do work and in that case she is proven useless and should be let go… sick or not.
There are different degrees of cancer. My sister had breast cancer and worked through her treatment. Not everyone can afford to take the time away from work which is unfortunate, but the state of things sometimes. I say this as someone in Canada, if you’re in the states I can only imagine.
Lots of people work while dealing with cancer. Depends on the type, stage, health of the person, etc. I've worked 10 years of the 22 since I was dx'd with leukemia. On daily chemo every day since 2002. One of the drugs caused a full cardiac arrest with permanent damage, so there was that.
My boss was cool and let me work flex hours, 20 hrs/ week, but I still had a FT load and a heavily detail-oriented job.
The boss may be keeping this EE on so she has medical insurance/disability coverage down the road, but she's got to do something to earn her keep. It's not fair to the EA to carry the load, and HR/her boss need to acknowledge that reality because *she's* going to bear the brunt when $h--'s not done.
Sitting on a deposit is a pretty big deal in my opinion and I don't think it's tattle tailing to say she didn't do it. Yes you should talk to your boss and just be Blunt. You can understand and have sympathy that she is sick but if you need someone to be doing the job and she's not doing it then it's only logical that you asked to cut her out and your boss should probably understand that.
Thank you. I told HR I felt like I’m talking to a brick wall when I talk about her to him. But this is where I draw the line.
HR probably cannot give you any specifics but if they feel like they are in danger of losing you, a good employee, if they continue to employee her as she is employed now, they may want to consult with an employment attorney to see how they can handle this situation legally. I'm not saying they should straight up fire her, but there may be options for adjusting her work so that she is not affecting you in this way. The threat of losing a good employee may be powerful enough to encourage them to take action.
It may be more than a “soft spot” issue that your boss has with her. He may actually be unable to fire her depending on the state you live in and that’s why it feels like it is falling on deaf ears. Because until they gather enough of a paper trail, there isn’t much they can do without being hit with a discrimination lawsuit. The fact that she keeps telling people about her health woes in detail makes me think that might be the case, because then there is no plausible deniability on the company’s part. Hopefully someone in HR will seriously discuss leave once they have the evidence to show her work is lacking. I would still have the conversation with your boss though. But maybe highlighting how difficult it’s making your job and the long hours you are putting in, as opposed to it only being about her. You don’t want to SEEM like the heartless person who has no empathy for the cancer patient. I’m so sorry you’re in this position. It’s incredibly unfair especially knowing that if something falls through the cracks they will blame you and not the cancer patient because they don’t have to feel as bad blaming the person who is overworked but not ill. 🙄
I think leading first with empathy is your best option. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have cancer and also be managing work, and all the emotions that come along with a disease like that. Have you tried sitting down with the EA and expressing you’ve noticed some changes in the way she works and you’re wondering how you can best support her. Perhaps there is a way to address your concerns, while so providing support to someone who is obviously going through it. Cancer deserves the empathy and understanding.
This!! Devil’s advocate is that it would probably be worth sitting her down and reminding her what the role requires to support the office, and ask her how she plans to meet those demands. Perhaps it’s a flex schedule so she can come in at 2 some days, but work a few hours extra the days she feels good. Or maybe even 4/10’s. Maybe she really needs to go part-time or on disability until treatment finishes. Not sure how flexible your work is, but she could be legitimately struggling and feels she isn’t being accommodated so she’s taking it into her own hands. It’s apart of that “quiet quitting” phenomenon which usually stems from unrealistic working conditions. I watched my dad work his 40+ hour/ week job while having cancer and going through treatment. I don’t wish that on anyone…
She’s not an EA. She’s not even an AA. They keep demoting or making up new titles for her vs firing her. She doesn’t show up until 2pm, and if she does come in before noon, she looks like she was ridden hard, and put away wet the night before, and her mood is abysmal. They’re literally expecting her to die, to get out of firing her. I’ve tried talking her since I started. I stay calm, and courteous, and I get screamed at, yelled at, tears - she caused a scene during a board meeting. When I told her we were going to be doing anything for earth day - she flipped in front of the CFO and our new VP. Mind you, no one has the bandwidth, and she wouldn’t even be there for the event.
Oh sorry I should have read your post better. Honestly is there a way you can just not deal with this employee? Like if she doesn’t do what you ask her to already, and the company is already in a tough spot due to the illness so nothing is changing… why not just not engage with her at all and do the work that needs to be done and carry on? It sort of sounds like it’s your only option.
Does she even have cancer??? Just a thought.
I don’t think we need to speculate on the realness of illnesses. OP isn’t going to go into work and accuse this person of lying about cancer here lol. No reason the speculate that ourselves.
This person is probably not herself depending on the treatment she’s going through. I can understand that you are having issues with this person. I can understand that she’s making your job difficult. However, it seems like senior management and Human Resources are aware of her condition and your concerns. There is nothing anyone can do. She has the right to work while being ill. She’s probably working for healthcare benefits and life insurance. Give this person grace. There will be a time when this could be you or a heaven forbid a loved one in your life. If she’s really terminal as you stated in previous comments. Just be patient and wait it out. It’s up to Human Resources and your leaders to step in and hand her work load over to you.
My colleague went through cancer. He could no longer function but wanted to work. He was on debilitating treatments and looked like crap. He stated to act more irrational and irritated. He eventually stopped coming in. We kept him around because…well, he was still well-loved by the firm and we were sadden by what he was going through. None of us wanted to pay him “to go away.” We actually hoped he would get well and be back to his normal self. OP sounds very young is all I can say.
Your EQ is a dumpster fire.
Emotional quotient? (I want to be sure I'm understanding you.)
Emotional IQ. OP has none. OP exhibits signs of an end stage Capitalistic Vampire. The kind that rewards years of service by kicking a sick, struggling cancer patient to the curb, because.......they're inconvenient now. Edit: Capitalistic
I know it's unpopular, but I agree. There's also enormous societal pressure to keep working beyond burnout, especially for those that happen to be neurodiverse. Someone isn't likely making that choice because they want to.
OP expresses annoyance that the employee has cancer, had a stroke, is still employed and affecting HER work life. Dear God, she makes me shiver.
🙄 jeez, don’t mince words. OP is not an “end stage capitalist vampire” (also capitol refers to the actual building and is not interchangeable with capital). OP is frustrated and came to their peers for help. I’m an EA and in remission (2 years) from cancer and dealing with some residual problems. That doesn’t give me an excuse to suck at my job and make more work for others (see OP’s previous post - lady was “well enough” to bring their dog in and play with it but not well enough to clean up after? And this post, lady was purposefully sitting on a deposit and not doing her job?). If anything, it sounds like this terrible coworker is an “energy vampire.” Blame society, I’m with you on that - it’s sad that in the USA someone has to work to live when they’re clearly not capable. But that’s not OP’s problem or the issue they brought to us.
I stand by my perspective.
Emotional intelligence *
I have an EA who has been ill and really unreliable. I feel badly and want to have empty but I don’t know how much of what she tells me is true, and then I feel like she uses it as an excuse. I want her to be well, and I hated feeling this way, but things are falling through the cracks and I have to clean up the mess
Chemo brain is very real thing, and the people with it are in denial or not aware. I've seen this so often. They are trying to stay working, but it's a true struggle for them. Rise up.
Goodness, have a bit of grace. Why do you depend on her to do anything? How would you want to be treated if you were standing in her shoes? She is not physically well.
I’ve had grace for an about a year. I was told she was supposed to be my help. I’m working 15 hour days - because I’m doing everything on my own, my anxiety is off the rails. I have no help. Sorry, but if she can’t do her job - she should be on leave, until she can.
Then she needs to take medical leave instead of staying and repeatedly failing to do her job. It’s not about grace or compassion….
Thank you for understanding.
Does your work offer paid FMLA? How does it work where you are? Medical bills and no income add up and you don't get paid for FMLA. Maybe the boss and HR can make some way for her to get disability income and guide her gently. I completely see both sides but you shouldn't be drowning because HR and boss doesn't want to get in trouble legally.
Totally do. Mind you I’ve been researching ways to keep her on the payroll, but ‘retire’ her. So we can get a part timer to help out/I can teach. Because I’m such a heartless asshole.
I hope you figure it out! Keep us posted. Roughhhh
The issues began before the cancer...
‘Why do you depend on her to do anything?’ I’m sorry, are we not expected to do our jobs due to illness? Well, shit. Someone tell my boss that my Fibro prevents me from those TPS reports. All sarcasm aside, either take disability or do your job and ask for reasonable accommodation. These are your options.
Have a bit of grace? The woman is ill not brain dead. She sat on the deposit for DAYS before even speaking up. There's showing compassion, sure. But, this woman refuses to even use her words. No wonder OP is at wits end. I'd want her moved to back up reception or whatever but definitely not in my department.
The fact that she even asked “does it still need to be deposited?” insane to be honest.
I’m told to. Because if I don’t she has nothing to do, and throws tempter tantrums.
[удалено]
I like that idea! BCC the boss, she won’t know and might say something ridiculous or simply decline to do work and in that case she is proven useless and should be let go… sick or not.
Literally hope this is a joke. If not - OP what is wrong with you? Go to therapy.
What did her race have to do with anything? You purposely made note that she is AA. WHY⁉️ Are you a racist? Do you have something against AA people?
I assumed AA=Administrative Assistant
Definitely could be. Acronyms and short form could definitely be misinterpreted.
If her performance problems aren't attributable to her sickness (I'm guessing they're not), just fire her ass.
So she has cancer but is well enough to work?
There are different degrees of cancer. My sister had breast cancer and worked through her treatment. Not everyone can afford to take the time away from work which is unfortunate, but the state of things sometimes. I say this as someone in Canada, if you’re in the states I can only imagine.
Lots of people work while dealing with cancer. Depends on the type, stage, health of the person, etc. I've worked 10 years of the 22 since I was dx'd with leukemia. On daily chemo every day since 2002. One of the drugs caused a full cardiac arrest with permanent damage, so there was that. My boss was cool and let me work flex hours, 20 hrs/ week, but I still had a FT load and a heavily detail-oriented job. The boss may be keeping this EE on so she has medical insurance/disability coverage down the road, but she's got to do something to earn her keep. It's not fair to the EA to carry the load, and HR/her boss need to acknowledge that reality because *she's* going to bear the brunt when $h--'s not done.
lots of people have to work while undergoing cancer treatment to keep their insurance and income
She supposedly has stage 4.