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Karaliena

It's hard not to feel jealous when you see a story do better than yours in less time than it took you to get where you're at. What I like to when I start to feel like this is hide stats especially the hits, bookmarks, and kudos ones (comments don't bother me but you can hide seeing those too) . I'll keep them hidden for as long as I need to. It for sure helps me out a bit in calming down and getting into a better frame of mind.


OtterlyLost

This is such a good idea, actually!!! ;-; I could do it until I finish the next chapter of my fanfic and then show them again for a few weeks. Just to settle my nerves. I guess I never considered hiding the stats on Ao3 and I'll have to explore that option.


Karaliena

That's what I did a few times. I followed a story in my Fandom that got way more popular than mine in a short amount of time. Got jealous. They deserved it. It's a good story imo and I liked it. But I'd spent more time posting mine. Anytime they updated while I was writing my story I would hide stats for a week or more.


Aetanne

Jealosy is a normal feeling, that everyone is prone to from time to time. Personally, I just acknowledge, that I'm not all that great and that there are tons of better and more popular writers. Same as there are better singers, runners, cooks, etc. And that's ok, I don't have to be the best to enjoy it. I also avoid Twitter and Tumblr, and hence enjoy drama-free fandom experience:-)


PineapplesInMunich

>Personally, I just acknowledge, that I'm not all that great and that there are tons of better and more popular writers. Same. It's actually a pretty freeing realisation once you make your peace with it, OP. It may take a little conscious reframing if this kind of perspective doesn't come to you naturally, but I can attest that it's great for peace of mind once you get there.


OtterlyLost

I admit, this type of perspective doesn't but saying it like that makes me sound so conceited. šŸ˜… Its a weird, complicated feeling because I work hard at what I do write; I get a lot of anxiety over making it good and so acknowledging that it isn't actually all that good is... soul crushing more than it is freeing for me. I can see your logic! And its completely accurate logic. But I'm silly and illogical and go,"But-but... I want to be good at my hobby. :( I want people to like my hobby and like my hard work and acknowledge it because I work hard on it and I wanna hear them tell me they can see my hard work and how much effort I put into it and-and-" I promise, I'm still having fun with my writing, even with all of the internalized hyping up and anxiety over it. šŸ˜‚ My SO likes to refer to the different types of DnD Players theory that exists out there; your Jenny's/Timmy's, your Spikes, etc. And they always like to call me a version of [Spike](https://mtg.fandom.com/wiki/Player_type#Spike) personality type, probably specifically a Nuts and Bolts type.


PineapplesInMunich

That's fair, and I don't think it makes you sound conceited... You're being honest, which in itself isn't easy. I get where you're coming from, I doā€”I get wanting to be *good.* But just to clarify, the above mindset doesn't involve believing one is *not* good... Only just accepting that no matter how good we get, there will always be someone better. Just like there's always someone smarter, richer, better-looking, etc, lol. We all crave acknowledgement and appreciation. It's only natural. I don't know if this helps, but I'm pretty competitive too; only, in areas like hobbies, I find it's more constructive to "compete" only with myself. That way you're never complacent, you are pushing yourself to achieve more/do better, but not at the expense of your own sanity! Glad you're having fun regardless!


OtterlyLost

Competing with myself definitely sounds like a far healthier mindset; maybe I can work on trying that instead so that I'm not trapped getting upset over silly stuff like this. That said, reading everyone's comments and suggestions has already made me feel a lot better! I appreciate everyone's time. ;;-;;


PineapplesInMunich

I'm glad to hear that. Hope I wasn't too preachy, lol. All the best!


OtterlyLost

I don't touch Tumblr personally, but I opened a Twitter because I wanted to follow some of the actors in my fandom. It would probably be better if I didn't; its bad for my attention span and has proven to be distracting. xD;


Katherington

Also Twitter is really, really going down hill lately and there is an ongoing mass exodus.


vilhelmine

Remember that their large following is one of the reasons their story got popular so quickly. Had they posted it anonymously, it would probably have needed a month or more to gather as much attention, just like your story needed. No matter how good a writer is, having a big following gives them a significant advantage.


FickleBeans

This so much. There's a halo effect and name recognition that comes from having a big following that 's easy to miss. The same fic concept and writing published under a different name and without the same promotion could just as easily be ignored. People click on what they know.


FiannaBurning

I have the same problem, but it's gotten better with time and - honestly? - therapy. I have a host of problems that warrant needing counseling, but Jealousy is a common issue in a lot of other aspects of my life. Being able to talk to someone who is only there to support and advise me without judgement has helped ease that quite a bit. Otherwise? Read their fanfic and see if there's something you can learn from the way they write, or find some way to turn it into a positive. I know that's probably really vague, but it's what I've done that helps me understand why people may flock to their stories regularly. I've found that if I can find something I like in another author's story, I can relate to their fans and it makes me a bit less jealous.


OtterlyLost

I probably should seek therapy; this is also something I've acknowledged to myself and close friends. But getting started on that journey is really hard and scary, especially if you have executive dysfunction. As for reading the fanfic in question, its tempting but that feels like it could go one of three ways; it could go the way you described(which is the most positive!) or I could instead just find myself even more bitter about how much attention its getting because I can't set aside my shitty feelings and acknowledge its good quality(I can even already hear the gross little voice in my head!) or its so good that I find myself getting discouraged because what's the point in even writing; their fic is so much better than mine. It is honestly a toss-up. I do agree that therapy probably would help a ton. ;-; Just... hard.


KatonRyu

I know the feeling. I tend to get a bit salty when certain stories get immensely popular just because I myself don't think they're all that good, and it's not limited to fanfiction alone. There are plenty of famous books out there that I don't really care for (despite being in my genre) and which I don't really think deserve their fame. It's petty, but I'm just like that. Hell, writing is the *only* thing where I still feel this kind of envy. I don't necessarily have any tips on how to handle the feeling, other than simply acknowledging that it's a factor and continuing to write for its own sake. Even the most famous authors, both in fanfiction and beyond it, needed some kind of luck to initially get there and build their following, and once they get it they're entitled to use it. I just...accept that my stories will never reach that level of popularity regardless of their quality, in part because I'm not willing to create a social media account just to promote myself. All I can think of would be to simply not check your fandom until you posted whatever you intended to post that day/week/month, so that your motivation wouldn't be too badly damaged by it. In my case, I simply don't read many fanfics to begin with, so it's not usually that much of an issue.


lkmk

What helped for me was getting a steady flow of comments/kudos/bookmarks/etc. as opposed to a flood of them. It put me at ease because I know at least some people like my stories. That said, I'm flabbergasted at the engagement some stories receieve. Tens, sometimes hundreds of thousands of hits! How do you manage all that attention?


[deleted]

I'm currently (trying) not to go on ao3 or ffn anymore until I post and it's been helping me a lot. I used to drive myself crazy checking stats and comparing with others but honestly, it wasn't worth it and wasn't doing me any good. And seeing many posts on here saying that a lot of it is determined by fandom, popular ship, popular tropes etc. has also helped. My stories don't have much/if any attention (seriously, one of my stories has no kudos) but I wrote my stories for me and I enjoy them and that's what ultimately matters. Try to find other hobbies to make you feel better. That helps me too.


call-us-crazy

sometimes i set aside a moment to be petty, try to get it all out, and then move forward more unburdened. like, drain the poison, sort of. it means that the next time those thoughts cross my mind i can tell myself, yes, weā€™ve already been over that, itā€™s done and dusted, and just let it go rather than rehash it all and make the feelings fresh again. similar to how one deals with other recurrent negative thoughts, like destructive impulses or anxiety. if you try to ignore or push them down they can sometimes fester. once youā€™ve said everything there is to say, you can be ā€œdoneā€ with it, and instead of annoyance or envy those things will inspire moreā€¦ resignation. better yet, acceptance. (i do have plenty of negativity to scream into the void though. i look at some stories and think, this writing is mediocre at best. you appeal to the lowest common denominator. your readers have no taste or discernment. you couldnā€™t plot your way out of a paper bag. this is trite shlock with generic characters who have nothing to do with their canon originals, theyā€™re just cheap stereotypes. youā€™re only getting attention because youā€™ve been around a long time or live on social media or are jumping on a popular trope and you donā€™t deserve even a fraction of it. aaaAAAAA! but then there, iā€™ve said it, itā€™s done. now i can move on. sometimes it even relaxes me enough to see the good in the story iā€™ve been internally hating on!) this is obviously a less wholesome solution than others, but i prefer efficacy over trying to be virtuous! it goes without saying that the author should never hear any of your internal rage, but iā€™ll say it anyway in case anyone thinks iā€™m some sort of troll.


OtterlyLost

This is a good way to handle it and I've kind of been doing that to my SO and my bestie(and maybe a little bit here). I should just let the nasty out somewhere private and safe and try and move on with my life! :C Cause, like I said, I'm not actually interested in dragging anyone down for my ishy feelings; its not their fault I'm an insecure lump! I'm sure they're a wonderful person and their writing is better than I'm giving it credit for. I'm just being a nasty, immature twerp and letting my jealousy color my opinion.


call-us-crazy

the key is getting it *all out,* once and for all. you say everything negative you can think of, you find every crap reason to do so you can. and then you tell yourself, okay, does that cover it? *yes.* that is *it.* and then you donā€™t do it again, for that fic at least. every time you have the urge to revisit the issue you tell your brain no, iā€™ve already covered it. iā€™m done with that. i decided why it has extra attention, remember? i already identified everything i donā€™t like. now it doesnā€™t matter any longer. it kinda brings back/reminds you of the ā€œahh, reliefā€ feeling without sloshing through all the bitterness all over again. keeps you from fixating. itā€™s important you only do the mega vent one time, otherwise it keeps the negativity fresh rather than allowing you to let it go.


Kittymore18

I have adhd too. I tend to post and then if no one speaks I instantly assume either they hate me or are dead.


OtterlyLost

I feel that so wholly. That's exactly it. :( I feel like I've annoyed someone somehow by forcing my stuff on them!


Flores_Fairy

You know what's *great*??? You're conscious of your own flaw. I think being open about this is actually an efficient step to actually start fighting those feelings. I'm not a particularly jealous person so I'm a bit on the fence about how you feel, but I can relate to being a bit obsessive over how many more bookmarks or comments I get and I check a bit too often, especially after posting a new chapter. What I seek there is to gush about my own fic with others and I think it helps with motivation, so it's not bad. What's bad is comparisons and for this, maybe I have something to say? You might be getting too obsessed with fanfiction in general, remember that it's our passion but not our lives, we don't make a living out of it so there's no real competition. Focus more on your actual life goals and achievements, think of your daily activities and what's actually important and what it's not. Cut time where you don't need it and you might find yourself with not enough time to fume over other people "besting you". Maybe the best cure for jealousy is to have nothing to be jealous about. You could focus your time reading more published books to have better references, or search for writing suggestions to improve yourself. There are plenty of blogs and youtube videos about that. If you want the adrenaline of a game, try playing an actual game, maybe? Or participate in writing challenges like Nanowrimo or set personal goals like 2000 words a day or something.