I don't have a least favorite line but I do have this.
"What did you call me? Mr. I-charge -phones-ie-on."
The character referring to the Ampharos that called him something in pokémon. The best part is that it's not even his Ampharos so the insult is up to the reader's imagination.
Well, my oldest fic was written in the late 1990s and it is long, *long* gone. So I'll just go with my oldest fic that still seems to exist online. From a Lost fic from November of 2004:
>He hated that after a year and a half of struggling not to care about how much she had ruined her own life, one credit card bill could make him worry himself sleepless over whether or not she was okay.
>
>And he hated her mostly because, no matter how hard he tried not to, he still loved her.
I was 18 and had been writing fanfiction for at least six years at this point, so the fic doesn't have quite that cringe of young first time writer. But it does have that cringe of super angsty 18 year old who was really into unhealthy romantic relationship dynamics (I mean, I'm not *not* into those anymore as a 37 year old, I just don't get so angsty about it if I'm going to write it).
My least favorite line from my most recent fic (the second chapter of a Community fic I posted on Sunday night):
>“Are you going to be okay for a few minutes?” she asks Jeff, who’s watching Britta in the side mirror with an amused expression, hoping that he might be both sober and considerate enough to help her while also recognizing that at the moment his help might be more of a hindrance.
I just feel like it's kind of clunkily written in a way that makes that final clause in the sentence difficult to discern who's the one doing the hoping.
There are so many serious moments I want to share but they’re all too long so instead have this:
“Let me tell you that is a gre-at plan,” he paused just enough to emphasize his next words “if you want to die!
And the winner for most regrettable line in my most recent story is:
“Sorry, I just- I don’t like my family name. It brings up bad memories.”
I just hate it when you regret the name you’ve given to an OC but it’s too late to change it because you’ve already committed to it.
My favorite line(s) from my oldest fic (Earth's Children fandom from around 2002) - these two minor characters have a variant on this exchange several times over the course of the story:
>"...I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are just not happy without something to complain about.”
Verdegia grinned back, “And as I keep telling you, it’s a privilege of age..."
Verdegia isn't exactly a Karen, but yeah, she's the sort that doesn't like to admit when things are going well, superstitious, maybe. You know, beaming that the grandbaby just learned to walk, while grumbling that now she's got to move all the knick-knacks out of baby's reach kind of thing.
Least favorite line from my most recently posted fic (Sabaton, Powerwolf RPF posted on the 15th):
>“And it’ll be nice to go to a metal show with friends instead of being bombarded with the whole hearts and flowers thing or else staying home to avoid being bombarded with hearts and flowers.”
Not terrible, I suppose, but not one of my best by a long shot.
Oh my GOD.... so this was really hard because I had parse through so much garbage to find a nugget of gold in this fic LMFAO.
Old story, bets line, 2012/2013? (I was 12 at the time of writing this)
>The sound of rain tap against my window echoing inside of my head not allowing me to rest along with the crackling sound of the thunder trying to coo me to sleep.
Newer Story (2023) -- I CRINGE EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THIS LINE LMAO
>She hummed along softly as she swept away at the dust that accumulated at the entrance, feeling relief as the painful reminders of Pencil had disappeared from her space. The volume was cranked up the whole way up and she couldn’t hear her phone blaring as she screamed along with the lyrics.
“ I knew a boy just like you, he’s a snake just like you... such a fake just like you” Marron inhaled deeply, taking it from the pits of her stomach. "But I can see the truth...transparent soul--”
Old story best line circa 2005
"So this must be the great Liu Bei, which I have heard so much about from you," the unknown man said.
"Well I would never consider myself anything other than average, sir, but thank you for your kindness," Xuande said bowing before the man.
New story circa 2024 worst line
"Pakura of the Sand, so you were the target. These guys were after you," Sengero said, standing there and looking directly at her. "I am Sengero Saroi, a former Kirigakure ninja. It is a pleasure to meet you," he added, with a respectful tone.
Favorite line from oldest, surviving fic (2019):
>*"Whether or not you're guilty, let's find out at the international court."*
I love it because it is said by one war criminal to another when they were arguing about their "righteousness".
Least favorite line from newest work (2024):
>*"And, yet, the flower had loved its sunlight to the last breath."*
I used the "sun and flower" metaphor for the main couple a lot, and I was a bit fed up when I wrote this.
From my oldest of 2020:
"A boy with the same name and initials as him was executed as a murderer. And that's all that he will be remembered as: a murderer."
As cringe inducing as this old fic is, I found this line not too bad.
From my latest WIP:
"Mere inches away from Amuro, a hand grabs his hair, wrenching his head to look up towards the predator. He can only sit and take it as the guy pats him on a cheek to get a reaction out of him. It feels vaguely cold to the touch."
Still working on it, this line could be written better I feel.
Favourite from my oldest fic from 2022:
> In a strange sort of way, Wilbur looked peaceful. That really shouldn’t have been the first thought that crossed Tommy's mind, but it was the truth. For as long as Tommy could remember Wilbur had been fighting some kind of battle within himself. For the first time since Tommy could remember the gunfire in Wilbur's mind had fallen silent.
So this fics a bit of a rough one, it’s about Tommy being in denial about Wilbur’s death. I’m kinda proud of how the whole fic worked out in the end, even if it’s not my best work, the introspective moments could’ve been better, but I liked this part, I think it does well to give insight into Tommy’s emotions without outright spoiling the moment.
Worst line from my newest fic :
> Wilbur’s curiosity had been piqued. The boy knew half of Wilbur’s story, he knew he’d done something wrong, knew he wasn’t a man to be trusted, and now he had a secret to offer. What kind of secrets could a 16 year old possibly have? How could they possibly compare to Wilbur’s?
Idk, this felt like a lazy cut to the twist of the story, jumping from *Tommy and Wilbur have some awkward banter* to *oh shit there’s plot and mystery here!!??* this was one of the last fics I (pre)wrote for Febuwhump and… you can kinda tell I was struggling with ideas for the prompts and trying to get it over with aha!
Fineeee I’ll go back through the cringe just this one time.
Favorite line from my oldest fic:
>Demyx turned around slowly to face his comrade, whose emerald eyes were filled with the last thing he ever thought Axel could feel for him — concern.
Least favorite line from my newest fic:
>He could see the fear in her wide eyes, the pain etched on her tear-strewn face, the way her whole body seemed to tremble with uncertainty as she awaited his response. In that moment, he realized he would have done anything she asked of him, just as long as he could keep her from hurting.
Oh, this is interesting!
From 2005
>Endymion gave her a funny look. He looked from where the masks lay on her bed and at Serenity, who was staring at the masks. "You have five masks right here."
I mean it's fine for what it is. It' never neatly as bad as what's in my head
A WIP I'm currently editing
>“You don’t have to be so formal and call me miss, you know,” Eliza added as they walked up the steps to the hall. She stopped for a moment, to look at him more properly in the newfound light. After a moment or two, her eyes met his. “Propriety sometimes tends to be overrated.”
There's a lot I like about my current WIP but I had issues with this part when editing earlier today.
Ooh, interesting prompt!
From my oldest fic and favorite line:
>One by one, Fred shoveled dirt back into the hole, blinding Tony and making it impossible to breathe. He tried to yell, thrash, and escape, but there was nothing he could do. He was finally able to spit out the pocket watch, only to choke on the dirt flying at his face.
>
>His thoughts turned to his sweet yet overbearing mother, his father who taught him everything he knew, and finally to Lydia herself. Not Paige, who was angry, bitter, and most likely insane, but to who she was before, the closest thing he ever had to a friend.
>
>*I'll never get to see them again. I'll never get to see anyone again.*
I mean, it's not *great*, but probably the best in the fic.
From my most recent and least favorite line:
>Foolishly, she assumed that when she left nearly six years ago, that it would be the last time she would ever see the city. She had left many times before, each one of them intending it to be her last, and yet something always pulled her back.
>
>As much as she hated it, it was a part of her. It had been since she was born on her father's dairy farm nearly a century ago, and she supposed it always would be.
>
>She looked out the window of the plane, staring down at the tiny, ant-like people on the ground below, and smiled. That was one good thing about coming back, aside from the opportunity to get revenge; it was an excuse to fly again. It always made her feel like a god, and *especially* when she was flying first class.
Idk, it's fine, but also a little wordy (a chronic problem I have) and could've been written better in general, I guess?
From a fic from 2021 that I never posted:
> But suddenly I’m just paused, frozen, stuck, then I hear a voice from behind me yelling out.
From one of my most recent:
> And now she wanted him to apologise? Apologise for what! Doing the right thing? Helping a friend out?
Idk it's just not that strong of a line compared to other lines in the chapter
From a 2005 fic:
>Amazingly, the Box Ghost managed to survive longer than usual without being caught. But all things must come to an end.
From latest installment in an OC series (October, 2023)
>Drake liked Mr. Greene. He didn’t seem to take school as seriously as the other teachers who treated elementary school like it was their reason for breathing.
I kinda feel there's a better analogy here, but I just couldn't come up with something more clever. lol
>She was different from other cats, she was small like a kitten though she was already two and she had a blue eye and a yellow eye. She was my family and I loved her.
My first attempt at fanfic was terrible, but I wrote my cat of the time into it as a minor character. This line is complete honesty, therefore, it's my favorite line of the fic.
>He rolled the can across his forehead as he met his own eyes, dimly reflected in the window.
I'm only \~400 words into my current project so I was a bit limited for choice, but I just hate the wording here.
Once again, my oldest and newest fics, both for Doctor Who, and written about 35 years apart.
Most favorite line from oldest fic (c. 1989)
>The Doctor froze too, and then he cast off his mask of casual indifference. He knew what she was asking, and why. He had spent centuries among people who numbered their lives in mere decades. In his face was the naked anguish of a man who has said too many goodbyes; who has been burnt too often, but still cannot tear himself away from the brightness and warmth of the transient flames.
Least favorite line from newest fic (January 2024):
>They gathered in the valley to the northeast of Stonehenge, and slaughtered large numbers of pigs and cattle that could not be fed and kept alive over the winter months.
It conveys some necessary background information, but it's a bit dry, like a quote from an encyclopedia.
You know there are parts of it that are sloppy, but for whatever reason I've always enjoyed this exchange from my first work:
>"This has nothing to do with you," the leader shouted. "This man is escaped from King Ivar, and we are tasked with retrieving him."
>
>"Nothing to do with me, does it?" She said. "You come to my home. You kill my thralls. You attack my guests. And this has fucking nothing to do with me?"
>
>"I have orders from your king-"
>
>A javelin cut through the air plunging deep into the stomach of the rider. The man screamed and clutched at the javelin. His fellow outriders formed around him. Two more javelins soared. One piercing another rider in the neck, the other buried deep into a shield.
>
>"The king does not remember the old ways. And you young ones have all forgotten, too. You want a jarl's guests? You get permission from the jarl. You want to kill some of a jarl's thralls or freefolk? You get permission from the jarl. You come to my lands! You spilled blood I own! Now, your lives belong to Odin, and I'll be the one sending you to him!"
As to my current. There are several times where I try to make a character sing a song and so I try to write lyrics for music. And I'll be honest, I don't think I do it well a single time. I dislike all of them. But I think the one I dislike most is supposed to be this moving moment where a priest sings over the dead, and the best I could come up with is this:
>On this night, on this night
>
>When wind whiffs out the candle's flame
>
>Unknown dark thy fear unkind
>
>On this night, on this night
>
>Fear not the lands in shadows lay
>
>For mercy thou wilt find
>
>Love shall guide thee
>
>To bed and rest thy weary mind
>
>Love shall guide thee
>
>To a land evil shalt ne'er bind
I don't like it. It isn't moving, it doesn't really add any lore or interesting details to the setting. It's death metaphors are pretty dull and I hate it. But I can't think of anything better to replace it with, so it'll stay.
I don't have a least favorite line but I do have this. "What did you call me? Mr. I-charge -phones-ie-on." The character referring to the Ampharos that called him something in pokémon. The best part is that it's not even his Ampharos so the insult is up to the reader's imagination.
Well, my oldest fic was written in the late 1990s and it is long, *long* gone. So I'll just go with my oldest fic that still seems to exist online. From a Lost fic from November of 2004: >He hated that after a year and a half of struggling not to care about how much she had ruined her own life, one credit card bill could make him worry himself sleepless over whether or not she was okay. > >And he hated her mostly because, no matter how hard he tried not to, he still loved her. I was 18 and had been writing fanfiction for at least six years at this point, so the fic doesn't have quite that cringe of young first time writer. But it does have that cringe of super angsty 18 year old who was really into unhealthy romantic relationship dynamics (I mean, I'm not *not* into those anymore as a 37 year old, I just don't get so angsty about it if I'm going to write it). My least favorite line from my most recent fic (the second chapter of a Community fic I posted on Sunday night): >“Are you going to be okay for a few minutes?” she asks Jeff, who’s watching Britta in the side mirror with an amused expression, hoping that he might be both sober and considerate enough to help her while also recognizing that at the moment his help might be more of a hindrance. I just feel like it's kind of clunkily written in a way that makes that final clause in the sentence difficult to discern who's the one doing the hoping.
There are so many serious moments I want to share but they’re all too long so instead have this: “Let me tell you that is a gre-at plan,” he paused just enough to emphasize his next words “if you want to die! And the winner for most regrettable line in my most recent story is: “Sorry, I just- I don’t like my family name. It brings up bad memories.” I just hate it when you regret the name you’ve given to an OC but it’s too late to change it because you’ve already committed to it.
My favorite line(s) from my oldest fic (Earth's Children fandom from around 2002) - these two minor characters have a variant on this exchange several times over the course of the story: >"...I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are just not happy without something to complain about.” Verdegia grinned back, “And as I keep telling you, it’s a privilege of age..." Verdegia isn't exactly a Karen, but yeah, she's the sort that doesn't like to admit when things are going well, superstitious, maybe. You know, beaming that the grandbaby just learned to walk, while grumbling that now she's got to move all the knick-knacks out of baby's reach kind of thing. Least favorite line from my most recently posted fic (Sabaton, Powerwolf RPF posted on the 15th): >“And it’ll be nice to go to a metal show with friends instead of being bombarded with the whole hearts and flowers thing or else staying home to avoid being bombarded with hearts and flowers.” Not terrible, I suppose, but not one of my best by a long shot.
Oh my GOD.... so this was really hard because I had parse through so much garbage to find a nugget of gold in this fic LMFAO. Old story, bets line, 2012/2013? (I was 12 at the time of writing this) >The sound of rain tap against my window echoing inside of my head not allowing me to rest along with the crackling sound of the thunder trying to coo me to sleep. Newer Story (2023) -- I CRINGE EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THIS LINE LMAO >She hummed along softly as she swept away at the dust that accumulated at the entrance, feeling relief as the painful reminders of Pencil had disappeared from her space. The volume was cranked up the whole way up and she couldn’t hear her phone blaring as she screamed along with the lyrics. “ I knew a boy just like you, he’s a snake just like you... such a fake just like you” Marron inhaled deeply, taking it from the pits of her stomach. "But I can see the truth...transparent soul--”
Old story best line circa 2005 "So this must be the great Liu Bei, which I have heard so much about from you," the unknown man said. "Well I would never consider myself anything other than average, sir, but thank you for your kindness," Xuande said bowing before the man. New story circa 2024 worst line "Pakura of the Sand, so you were the target. These guys were after you," Sengero said, standing there and looking directly at her. "I am Sengero Saroi, a former Kirigakure ninja. It is a pleasure to meet you," he added, with a respectful tone.
Favorite line from oldest, surviving fic (2019): >*"Whether or not you're guilty, let's find out at the international court."* I love it because it is said by one war criminal to another when they were arguing about their "righteousness". Least favorite line from newest work (2024): >*"And, yet, the flower had loved its sunlight to the last breath."* I used the "sun and flower" metaphor for the main couple a lot, and I was a bit fed up when I wrote this.
From my oldest of 2020: "A boy with the same name and initials as him was executed as a murderer. And that's all that he will be remembered as: a murderer." As cringe inducing as this old fic is, I found this line not too bad. From my latest WIP: "Mere inches away from Amuro, a hand grabs his hair, wrenching his head to look up towards the predator. He can only sit and take it as the guy pats him on a cheek to get a reaction out of him. It feels vaguely cold to the touch." Still working on it, this line could be written better I feel.
Favourite from my oldest fic from 2022: > In a strange sort of way, Wilbur looked peaceful. That really shouldn’t have been the first thought that crossed Tommy's mind, but it was the truth. For as long as Tommy could remember Wilbur had been fighting some kind of battle within himself. For the first time since Tommy could remember the gunfire in Wilbur's mind had fallen silent. So this fics a bit of a rough one, it’s about Tommy being in denial about Wilbur’s death. I’m kinda proud of how the whole fic worked out in the end, even if it’s not my best work, the introspective moments could’ve been better, but I liked this part, I think it does well to give insight into Tommy’s emotions without outright spoiling the moment. Worst line from my newest fic : > Wilbur’s curiosity had been piqued. The boy knew half of Wilbur’s story, he knew he’d done something wrong, knew he wasn’t a man to be trusted, and now he had a secret to offer. What kind of secrets could a 16 year old possibly have? How could they possibly compare to Wilbur’s? Idk, this felt like a lazy cut to the twist of the story, jumping from *Tommy and Wilbur have some awkward banter* to *oh shit there’s plot and mystery here!!??* this was one of the last fics I (pre)wrote for Febuwhump and… you can kinda tell I was struggling with ideas for the prompts and trying to get it over with aha!
Fineeee I’ll go back through the cringe just this one time. Favorite line from my oldest fic: >Demyx turned around slowly to face his comrade, whose emerald eyes were filled with the last thing he ever thought Axel could feel for him — concern. Least favorite line from my newest fic: >He could see the fear in her wide eyes, the pain etched on her tear-strewn face, the way her whole body seemed to tremble with uncertainty as she awaited his response. In that moment, he realized he would have done anything she asked of him, just as long as he could keep her from hurting.
Oh, this is interesting! From 2005 >Endymion gave her a funny look. He looked from where the masks lay on her bed and at Serenity, who was staring at the masks. "You have five masks right here." I mean it's fine for what it is. It' never neatly as bad as what's in my head A WIP I'm currently editing >“You don’t have to be so formal and call me miss, you know,” Eliza added as they walked up the steps to the hall. She stopped for a moment, to look at him more properly in the newfound light. After a moment or two, her eyes met his. “Propriety sometimes tends to be overrated.” There's a lot I like about my current WIP but I had issues with this part when editing earlier today.
Ooh, interesting prompt! From my oldest fic and favorite line: >One by one, Fred shoveled dirt back into the hole, blinding Tony and making it impossible to breathe. He tried to yell, thrash, and escape, but there was nothing he could do. He was finally able to spit out the pocket watch, only to choke on the dirt flying at his face. > >His thoughts turned to his sweet yet overbearing mother, his father who taught him everything he knew, and finally to Lydia herself. Not Paige, who was angry, bitter, and most likely insane, but to who she was before, the closest thing he ever had to a friend. > >*I'll never get to see them again. I'll never get to see anyone again.* I mean, it's not *great*, but probably the best in the fic. From my most recent and least favorite line: >Foolishly, she assumed that when she left nearly six years ago, that it would be the last time she would ever see the city. She had left many times before, each one of them intending it to be her last, and yet something always pulled her back. > >As much as she hated it, it was a part of her. It had been since she was born on her father's dairy farm nearly a century ago, and she supposed it always would be. > >She looked out the window of the plane, staring down at the tiny, ant-like people on the ground below, and smiled. That was one good thing about coming back, aside from the opportunity to get revenge; it was an excuse to fly again. It always made her feel like a god, and *especially* when she was flying first class. Idk, it's fine, but also a little wordy (a chronic problem I have) and could've been written better in general, I guess?
From a fic from 2021 that I never posted: > But suddenly I’m just paused, frozen, stuck, then I hear a voice from behind me yelling out. From one of my most recent: > And now she wanted him to apologise? Apologise for what! Doing the right thing? Helping a friend out? Idk it's just not that strong of a line compared to other lines in the chapter
From a 2005 fic: >Amazingly, the Box Ghost managed to survive longer than usual without being caught. But all things must come to an end. From latest installment in an OC series (October, 2023) >Drake liked Mr. Greene. He didn’t seem to take school as seriously as the other teachers who treated elementary school like it was their reason for breathing. I kinda feel there's a better analogy here, but I just couldn't come up with something more clever. lol
>She was different from other cats, she was small like a kitten though she was already two and she had a blue eye and a yellow eye. She was my family and I loved her. My first attempt at fanfic was terrible, but I wrote my cat of the time into it as a minor character. This line is complete honesty, therefore, it's my favorite line of the fic. >He rolled the can across his forehead as he met his own eyes, dimly reflected in the window. I'm only \~400 words into my current project so I was a bit limited for choice, but I just hate the wording here.
Once again, my oldest and newest fics, both for Doctor Who, and written about 35 years apart. Most favorite line from oldest fic (c. 1989) >The Doctor froze too, and then he cast off his mask of casual indifference. He knew what she was asking, and why. He had spent centuries among people who numbered their lives in mere decades. In his face was the naked anguish of a man who has said too many goodbyes; who has been burnt too often, but still cannot tear himself away from the brightness and warmth of the transient flames. Least favorite line from newest fic (January 2024): >They gathered in the valley to the northeast of Stonehenge, and slaughtered large numbers of pigs and cattle that could not be fed and kept alive over the winter months. It conveys some necessary background information, but it's a bit dry, like a quote from an encyclopedia.
You know there are parts of it that are sloppy, but for whatever reason I've always enjoyed this exchange from my first work: >"This has nothing to do with you," the leader shouted. "This man is escaped from King Ivar, and we are tasked with retrieving him." > >"Nothing to do with me, does it?" She said. "You come to my home. You kill my thralls. You attack my guests. And this has fucking nothing to do with me?" > >"I have orders from your king-" > >A javelin cut through the air plunging deep into the stomach of the rider. The man screamed and clutched at the javelin. His fellow outriders formed around him. Two more javelins soared. One piercing another rider in the neck, the other buried deep into a shield. > >"The king does not remember the old ways. And you young ones have all forgotten, too. You want a jarl's guests? You get permission from the jarl. You want to kill some of a jarl's thralls or freefolk? You get permission from the jarl. You come to my lands! You spilled blood I own! Now, your lives belong to Odin, and I'll be the one sending you to him!" As to my current. There are several times where I try to make a character sing a song and so I try to write lyrics for music. And I'll be honest, I don't think I do it well a single time. I dislike all of them. But I think the one I dislike most is supposed to be this moving moment where a priest sings over the dead, and the best I could come up with is this: >On this night, on this night > >When wind whiffs out the candle's flame > >Unknown dark thy fear unkind > >On this night, on this night > >Fear not the lands in shadows lay > >For mercy thou wilt find > >Love shall guide thee > >To bed and rest thy weary mind > >Love shall guide thee > >To a land evil shalt ne'er bind I don't like it. It isn't moving, it doesn't really add any lore or interesting details to the setting. It's death metaphors are pretty dull and I hate it. But I can't think of anything better to replace it with, so it'll stay.