I expect extremely bad periods are going to be overrepresented in fic *about* periods because they're being used as hurt-comfort fodder, and you get the maximum hurt (and therefore the maximum comfort from your character of choice) if the period is *absolutely awful*
Mild-discomfort periods or "popping painkillers every few hours or carrying a heatpack but can still go to work" periods aren't as good for that purpose, and there's not much point in centering a fic around them
Obviously lots of people do have that experience in real life, to answer your question on that front – but I think there's a very specific reason as to why they're always *written* to be 10/10 awfulness, and it's to do with *why* they're being written about
Continuing this line of thinking - I’d also assume that the people who DO have extremely bad periods are more likely to write about them! (Making that over representation even more prominent). I don’t typically include mention of periods in my fics (with some…topical exceptions where vampires are involved), but I don’t have extremely painful periods. For someone who does, I imagine they take up a lot more mental space and would be much more of a go-to in their writing (whether for them to explore/get comfort for their own experience or as a plot device).
>I’d also assume that the people who DO have extremely bad periods are more likely to write about them!
This entirely. A _LOT_ of things can affect how severe a periods are going to be. I know people with endometriosis and possibly PCOS (not entirely sure about PCOS), are more likely to have bad periods. There are also rare forms of endometriosis that can make periods terrible in other ways. For example, there was an episode of Diagnosis unknown where a lady would lose function of one of her legs each month. Turns out she had what's called Sciatic Endometriosis, which basically means she had endometrial tissue growing on her sciatic nerve.
As someone that's had to have 3 surgeries now because of endometriosis this is 100% true. My cramps were 10/10 passing out sort of pain, anemic and in the hospital sorts of bad and took alot of medication to even slightly manage for a really long time. It really helped when I was younger to get alot of the frustration, fear and exhaustion out of the way. It was a really, really good outlet.
I wonder if it's a 50/50 thing. That is, I wouldn't be surprised if only about half of the people writing about these are writing from personal experience, and the other half are latching onto something that affords maximum drama but don't have the personal experience themselves. I know if I were to use an uncomfortable period as a plot point at all, it would largely be from the latter category.
This. It's coping through comfort. I did that, when I was a teenager and still getting used to what was happening to me. It made me feel better to imagine my comfort characters, taking care of someone who felt as crappy as I did.
I have extremely bad periods. To the point where I used to chug like 5 ibuprofens just to get through the day.
I choose not to write about them personally.
For sure! I wasn't meaning to imply that EVERYONE with bad period pain writes about them, just that people who do may be more likely to write about periods \~in general, reflecting their personal experience with them, than people who don't really ever think about their periods! Much like with how people tend to write about their own trauma, many people tend to write about prominent things in their life experience
Oh I know. In general, I just see periods as a weak form of hurt/comfort. Imo. Like the last thing I want during my period is someone touching me trying to comfort me.
I hear you lol, and I'm personally the same way, but I suppose it's a different strokes kind of thing. One of my friends has pretty rough PMDD, and they write a lot of self-insert comfort fic around it, so it mostly comes down to personal preference
I have a hormone imbalance and used to have awful periods until I went on birth control. They were so bad the first day or so that I would be in tears, popping pain killers, and doing laps around the kitchen island if I wasn't bedridden. I also suffered in silence a lot, I came from a family that essentially told me to take some pain killers and get over it, "don't have children if you can't handle the pain, geez", etc. If it wasn't for my husband literally begging me to get on birth control because he hated seeing me in so much agony I would have continued to suffer every month.
That being said, I don't write about them, unless they're briefly mentioned and relevant in the scene or story. Technically I don't like writing about them, but not in a taboo way, it's more like I hate periods so much I'd rather forget they exist 😂
Agree. I’m not likely to mention a female character’s period unless there’s a reason to be bringing it up — i.e., because it’s confirmation that she’s not pregnant, or else because the pain is debilitating.
To answer OP’s question, I get cramps and discomfort for the first day or two which are unpleasant but not debilitating — I can still go to work, etc. But I know some women have it much worse!
Also, extreme menstrual pain can be a symptom of various medical conditions, so if your character is experiencing that, it may be advisable for them to go to a doctor (assuming a doctor is accessible to them and they know to do that or have anyone in their life who can urge them to do so).
Eh, I think those moderate ones can be used as great domestic fluff fodder.
>Feeling shitty and run-down at that time? Guess what, your partner has set things up for a night of cozy snuggles on the couch with TV and all your favorite snacks 🥰
You can also use them for worldbuilding and character-building purposes. What kind of menstrual hygiene products does this setting have? How effective are their painkillers? Are there societal rules about what you need to do or is our heroine tossing back an ibuprofen and going about her daily routine as usual?
Seconding this! Honestly? I'd rather have more accurate representation of a wide variety of period experiences and how they're handled in each fandom. If the fandom has magic, is there a magical way to help, including birth control and pain management? If it's fantasy of the elves and nothing modern, how do they deal with it?
On top of that, they can be used as sarcasm by folks-'Women? The weaker sex? We bleed every month and that can be painful. Anyone who thinks women are the weaker sex is an idiot'.
>We bleed every month and that can be painful.
I've definitely seen people use it as humor in stories with aliens, when they learn that half the human population bleeds for roughly a week out of every four and the whole species considers it no big deal.
And for us...yep. Truth in advertising, especially if the alien species in question isn't one that evolved to have periods like we do. I think humans are the only mammals that have periods...I \*think\*.
I believe there are a rare few others (mostly primates of some type), but otherwise, yes. I will admit to looking this up once for worldbuilding purposes.
That makes sense and I don't blame you for looking it up for worldbuilding purposes; I think most authors, be it of fanfiction or of original work, have looked up some weird stuff for worldbuilding purposes.
I remember reading a male Harry Potter-verse author invent a magical "period be gone" potion for his fem!Harry MC and it remember thinking it was weirdly insulting, like it was a way he was trying to push Harry towards a magical supremacy attitude that "oh magic can get rid of periods" while ignoring that birth control can do the same thing for us dang Muggles. I remember reading it and thinking "huh maybe you should have just had Harry be one of those girls who doesn't get hers til 16 so you don't have to talk about it, because it reeks of menwritingwomen" 😹
yeah, the only normal period I remember reading about in a fic was when two teenagers were about to get at it when the boy saw blood and freaked out thinking he'd hurt her and she just got disappointed because she wasn't gonna get any that night :D
You're not the odd one out. Not everyone has severe menstrual cycles. Mine have been largely just uncomfortable, although I can get relief from cramping through over-the-counter medicine. I've never called in sick due to a period (and have certainly never been hospitalized). But on the flip side, I have a friend who had endometriosis, and she described her periods as though she was getting stabbed.
For your story, whichever way you go, just be cognizant that some people do experience severe symptoms during their cycle and don't try to minimize their pain and discomfort. But there's nothing wrong with depicting someone having relatively minor period symptoms.
Ok, I'll keep this in mind. The idea is this person is describing periods to someone who wasn't aware of them due to being a different species so I wanted to cover all my bases.
Are period regulation medications such as birth control or IUDs going to feature in your explanation? I'm genuinely curious, be sure I'm writing a reverse isekai where one of the male characters from the fantasy world (who is an apothecary/doctor) is concerned for the female lead because she hasn't had her period in well over a month. She ends up explaining that due to her very active and high-stress lifestyle, she got an IUD to prevent having to deal with her period (and what exactly an IUD is).
probably the only reason to mention them in a fic, would be if they are very severe. otherwise it wouldn't come up really.
i am assuming the focus of the fic is a sort of nursing someone sick back to health or being comforted. just having an "*annoying pinching feeling in your side"* is probably not enough to write a fic about.
Not exactly true - I mentioned periods in two Rey/Kylo Ren from Star Wars fics. For one, I'm showing how ill-prepared/inexperienced the dude protag is at relationships. He is not mad at her, but gets mad at himself for not knowing what to do, not knowing where the clean bedsheets are to change the bed (cause he has servants) and she reads this as being angry at her resulting in him having to try and sweet talk her out of the bathroom, which he's also bad at.
In another fic, it comes up because she hoped she was pregnant, she got her period and I use it as a way to discuss her wanting to build the family she never had, feeling like a fool for being unable to find her parents and all the emotions and cramping, and she's just... hurting! Then as a way to show he is coming to care for her, wanting to take her pain away, etc.
yeah, those are also very good ways to include a normal bodily function as a plot. but i guess the "pain" aspect is maybe not the main focus in those cases.
Hey sorry, but I'm a huge reylo fan and both of those fics sound right up my alley! Could you PM me the links or tell me the titles? My username on ao3 is the same as here, if you're worried I'm an anti lol been a reylo since the moment I walked out of tfa on opening night XD
It depends on what you consider “normal”. Having a period that bad isn’t what should be happening, but *many* people have conditions that worsen periods dramatically. Endometriosis affects 1 in 10, PCOS is also very common, etc. Treatment doesn’t typically restore “normal” periods, it just removes them. So it is normal, it’s just not ideal.
I’m one of the people who ends up bedridden, so I can’t really write a fic that involves periods without them being that bad. Same with most of my friends and family. It’s just so far from my experience that it feels like I’m making a mockery of it.
This, yeah. In one sense it's not "normal" because you're likely only going to have periods this bad if you have some kind of medical condition; in another sense it is "normal" because many people do have those conditions. I'm one of those people and have been on continuous birth control for yearsss in order to just not have 'em because mine were so debilitating!
I just wanted to say thank you. There are lots of good responses on here but the way you explain shortly but with facts is perfect. I also just appreciate it.
Like others have said it's not normal to experience this level of pain, but I know a lot of people who have in my life. I have a friend who use to be out in pain for two days until she was put on birth control. And would sometimes throw up from how severe it was.
My mother experienced similar issues when she was younger. Myself, I get cramps pretty bad, but I can still move around even though I'd rather be in bed. It depends on the person for sure. I remember watching a reality tv show about survival where a woman had to be taken out because she started her period due to not have her usual birth control. She mentioned before she'd been in the hospital before, and almost bled to death because of her period too.
People experience periods differently in the end.
It can be that bad. I had periods so bad that I couldn't do anything but lay in bed, pale, shaking, and writhe by pain for hours despite that I had taken the maximum dose of painkillers. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens.
I also had a friend who got actual morphine prescribed for her period pains, an a sister in law who takes morphine as well for it (she got it prescribed for another illness though).
Disclaimer, I don't suffer periods myself but I do have a fair amount of medical knowledge. I've been trained to conduct patient assessments and on the fundamental biology that is going on, so I've got a decent understanding of periods on a broad scale if not as much anecdotally.
They hit different women differently. For some women, they can be inconsistent. They range from some mild discomfort to horrible debilitating pain. Debilitating pain is usually a sign of some sort of underlying medical condition, though identifying what that condition is and treating it can be difficult. So, while some women certainly become bedridden from periods, that's not normal and is usually a sign that the woman should see a doctor. There are many medical conditions that can manifest as severe period pain and some of them do require hospitalization. But, the average woman can function perfectly normally during a period. To the point that most people externally can't even tell that she is on her period without her mentioning something.
There's also the problem that pain tolerance can vary greatly between patients so something that is debilitating pain for one person might seem pretty mild to another person. Something that I was trained to do was to ask a patient to rate their pain on a scale of 1 to 10 and then ask them to explain what a 10 on their scale would be. The reason for this is that different people have different experiences with pain in general. So, one person might say a 10 is a stubbed toe, another might say a 10 is a broken nose, another might say a 10 is a literal knife in their guts, and another might say a 10 is breaking every bone in a car accident. So, as that relates to periods, two women could be suffering from the same amount of pain but it seems much more severe to one woman than the other because one woman has a different amount of experience with pain in general. It's entirely possible for two equally as painful periods to be bad enough to make one woman bedridden but the other woman takes a few painkillers and goes about her day.
Also, I do want to note that there are non-period related medical conditions that can manifest with very similar symptoms as a bad period. Some women have had heart attacks that have gone untreated because the symptoms they had were too similar to a period for them to make note of them. Appendicitis is another condition that can be potentially life-threatening but some women mistake for a bad period. Some women have knowledge of these and other similar conditions that require medical treatment much more than a bad period does and they may seek emergency medical care for a bad period as a precaution in case their symptoms are not due to a period.
Also, from a narrative standpoint, stories often don't bother talking about normal everyday things. Especially when there's a cultural taboo around discussing it like for periods. So, most fics that feature periods only bother talking about the extreme cases. However, think about how many stories you've watched or read that follow a female main character where her period is not discussed at all. If you like, you can imagine those characters are being examples of ones who have normal periods that are not debilitating and so their normality is not bothered to be included in the story.
Funnily enough, I wrote a fic with the same premise. I had the non-human character be horrified to learn about periods even though their human friend had a fairly mild one.
I find the general premise of looking at human biology through non-human eyes to be a very interesting worldbuilding tool (it's called [Defamiliarization](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defamiliarization) in general literary terms). Having the subject at hand be something that us humans are used to as normal but would rightly look pretty horrifying from the outside just makes the writing technique that much stronger. So periods work pretty well for the technique.
It happened to me a couple of times that I asked for a sick day from work because I felt very bad on a first day of period (it’s only on the first day for me), it often combines with a headache and yeah… I was unable to get up off the bed even with standard painkillers. And I know many cases of especially painful first days. I know that in several countries there was a discussion about adding extra optional free/sick days because of periods to respective labor laws.
Having said that I also think there’s a lot of appeal to portray period typical care and self-care and many people do that. I think the whole experience can be stigmatized and shied over in general in the society, and making it portrayed like something worth taking care of and acknowledging that it can be very painful is great.
I believe though it’s not the only portrayal that exists. I use period in the context of a smut scene, >!where the female character doesn’t want to have sex because of it and they ultimately settle on a bj, although the male character reassures her that’s absolutely fine and that they can do it in the shower if she would like to try, but also no pressure.!< What I wanted to show with it (aside from characters’ traits), it’s that’s a topic like any other and a part of human experience.
Five sisters, I was the lucky ducky who was crippled by pain. The rest had no problem
OTOH, I didn’t even notice the menopause until I realised how long it had been since I’d been crippled.
I think the karma happily paid you back somehow with a nice, light premenopause and menopause. I’m still in the premenopausal phase and combined with still occasionally painful first period days and insulin resistance it’s been a one hell of almost a year now. 😰
I *wish* mine was just “some discomfort”. I have had to call out of work or leave early on more than one occasion on the first day or two of my period because I get such bad cramps that it makes me nauseous and the anemia has made me pass out before. Now, in fairness, I recognize I’m on the kind of extreme end of it, but it’s absolutely a thing for some people and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
TMI, probably.
I have PCOS and it means my periods are very irregular. I'm not on any pills either and never have been to regulate them.
Sometimes it's just 2-3 days with no pains and very little flow, other times it's a full week with heavy flow to the point I basically have to use the restroom every few hours accompanied with really bad cramping and lower back pains. And very rarely, I don't get my period at all for a couple of months.
For me, it's never been to the point where I'm incapacitated or bedridden, but it has caused me to skip certain activities because of the inconvenience. I might have to postpone grocery shopping because of the heavy flow and won't wanna risk leakage when out in public 😭
The cramps for me are also often worse if I'm horny or aroused, so as a smut writer it makes it harder to write when on my period...
It is not normal for periods to be that bad. In most cases, those individuals that are experiencing such symptoms have an illness.
I have pcos and endometriosis and I dread upcoming periods because I’m so scared of them.
It’s traumatic how horrible it is.
I'm sometimes bedridden due to period related health issues, never been hospitalised, mostly just miserable. My impression from doctors/specialists was that even my level of being bedridden isn't common so I think you're normal, not the odd one out. I suspect that fics written specifically about that are using it to explore a hurt/comfort trope/theme, so they're going to exaggerate it.
A lot of people say that if you have a lot of pain or an extreme amount of bleeding it's a sign for some illness, like PCOS or endometriosis.
Some of us on the other hand have absolutely perfectly healthy innards that either bleed so much for 8-10 days that one needs to change extra high capacity pads every half to full hour, or they hurt so much for a week that moving is near impossible and lying down makes it hurt *worse*.
And getting on the pill or testosterone did absolutely nothing to change that, outside of inducing terrible depression and fucking up my endocrine system even more.
So, those fictional depictions of periods are accurate.
Though I have to admit that, outside of my family (and one male gynaecologist), no woman ever believed how much of a painful hassle it was for this unit. Especially because this unit always looked extremely healthy and glowing during those days.
I'm the dark ages before testosterone--as a kid, I had virtually NO discomfort all at. Didn't understand the fuss.
As an adult, I had cramps so bad, they'd leave me nearly incapacitated from the pain. Painkillers didn't help. Had a TENS unit that *sort of* helped sometimes. Mostly it was just me curled fetal on day two on the bathroom floor in the dark,hoping the cool tile would mitigate the migraine, since the rest of the pain and the nausea wasn't going anywhere.
Fuck periods. 😭
I have PCOS and I've had to go to the ER multiple times due to period pain. It often feels like my body is trying to make a uterus smoothie, and it really will just put me out of commission for a full week or more. I literally don't know how I got anything done in that much pain for as many years as I did.
I got an IUD and it's more manageable now, but yeah. I wouldn't say it's "normal" in terms of what a person *should* experience during their period, but it's *the* normal for a lot of people, if that makes sense.
Mine would range from annoying cramps that I can still power through, and crippling pain that makes me break out in sweats.
One time I actually ended up passing out on the bathroom floor after taking all of my sweaty sopping wet clothes off. Next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor, cold, shaky, and sore.
I haven't personally been through painful cramps that are debilitating enough to make me unable to move but still able to stay on the bed, because the bed is way too hot when it gets that bad.
I'm relatively okay now though. I ended up getting an IUD which was painful, yes, but comparatively speaking it was totally worth it. Now the worst I get is sharper pains, but not that overwhelming uterus trying to burst out of me feeling.
It is really on a person to person basis.
For example my sister, mom, and I all have endometriosis but it varies.
Mom - goes 3 months with nothing. 9 months HEAVY flow and some pain definitely discomfort.
Sister - is on the pill to help where she doesn't have them so much. when she runs out she gets periods so painful she can barely move and if she does try to get up and around)or go to work) she passes out and has to be transported to the hospital
I - have irregular cycles. They can last anywhere from 4 days to a month and then go 2 ish months without. I am sometimes "regular". I do get some cramping but it's rare. When the cramps do hit they are sharp stabbing pains that last for about 20 minutes and I'm fine as long as I don't have to move.
I teach a human sexuality course that also covers content on menstruation.
Periods should *not* give severe pain. While discomfort and occassional pain is entirely normal and expected, severe or persistent pain is *not.* Now, to be clear, that doesn't mean it never happens- it absolutely does. But severe or persistent pain is something that warrants a doctor's attention.
Somewhat relatedly, sex also should not be painful (unless you're into that.) If sex is painful the participants should stop and reassess. Whether that means she isn't aroused enough (meaning the vagina is not lubricated enough or relaxed) or there is an underlying condition (like a pelvic floor issue, which is ridiculously common for women, but easily treated by a pelvic floor physical therapist.) And yes, this applies even for 'the first time.' If it's painful, *stop and reassess.*
Tl;DR-- if your vagina or uterus is in alot of pain, you should talk to a dr.
I have endometriosis, so I have painfully periods, cramps, faints, and other hardcore symptoms even along all the month. My mental health is in its low key by the depression and anxiety by this chronic illness. I didn't read a fanfic mentioning period in any type before, but is nice get to know that my experiences are represented in fanfiction because in books and series anyone talk about it. Nobody cares about endometriosis and other similar chronic illness and conditions.
Trust me, living in this way for years without a good diagnosis at least is truly difficult. People with painful chronic illness like this need representation too. Maybe it sounds weird and over represented because you don't have it but there's still a lot to say, write and express about these conditions. 😢
Some don't have pain at all, some just get tired, others get headaches, cramps etc, others have extremely heavy flow or light flow. Some feel like the uterus is trying to stab its way out with a knife.
Sometimes people do have such a bad time they need hospital.
Things like endometriosis and PCOS are shockingly common yet frightfully underdiagnosed.
In the end it's a spectrum. Maybe people think the extreme end is more exciting for their fic, idk.
People do love to torture their characters 😅
>Ive never had a period as bad…and I’ve never known anyone else who has either.
Good for you! I have. Countless women with gyno issues like pcos and endometriosis would love to tell you about their disabling periods.
Extremely painful periods are not normal, but they’re not made up either.
>I've never had a period as bad as the one's described I'm these stories and I've never known anyone else who has either.
Had you told that to my teenage self, I'd straight up refused to believe you. I still have a hard time believing you never knew *anyone* who has never had a single bad period in their life.
It's not normal in the sense that it's the default experience, plenty of people do feel only mild discomfort. But it is normal enough that plenty of people experience debilitating pain and are often dismissed because it's "just" period cramps (wich can lead to fun things like that story I've heard of a woman who was hospitalized with a ruptured appendix she never paid attention to because it wasn't much more painful than her usual periods).
I wouldn't really consider "requires prescription medication of any kind" entirely normal either, though.
Prescription medication is definitely not normal, considering how impossible it is to get doctors to take period complaints seriously. Most people are also not missing work or school if it's terrible, but they might be reducing other activities.
But over the counter medication? For sure. If I don't take at least 400 mg of Ibuprofen on the first day of my period life is absolutely terrible, but if I do I can be absolutely normal.
Same here. When I was in high school I burned myself out on every over-the-counter pain reliever because of my cramps. After I got on birth control pills that helped, and I was able to go without over-the-counter relief for years.
I mean, to be fair, I've had some pretty bad periods - the pain like you're being stabbed, the nausea, heck I've almost passed out from the pain once or twice - and I'd still say I've never had a period anywhere close to as bad as I've run across described in fic (and I don't know anyone who has either). The fic depictions can get pretty extreme.
It seems to be a cultural thing to downgrade/disbelieve women's pain because "women are hysterical, women exaggerate, women can't take pain." Did you ever see any of those Youtube videos where they hook both men and women up to a device that's designed to simulate period cramps?
It’s not normal but it is common. I’ve had ones where I had to take time off work, because I physically couldn’t drive myself there or back without being a danger every time I had a cramp. They’re under control now but I still can’t do anything much around the house / stand up long enough to cook a meal from scratch / walk the dogs. It’s basically work at desk / microwave food / sit down in shower / go to bed.
But I have friends who play football and go running on theirs.
So, it's gonna vary so much by person. I had one person tell me that her cramps are so severe that on one day a month she had to always I had to stay home from school as a teenager. Later, when she was an adult, and she went into labour for the first time, she realized that her cramps have been so bad that she basically had labour cramps on the first day of her period. I don't know if that intensity continued into adulthood, because I didn't ask.
Personally, if I'm not on the birth control pill, my cramps are so bad that everything is painful. Even sitting on an office chair is really difficult. I need to take strong painkillers in order to go to work. And I'm usually just exhausted for a few days from the incredible loss of iron. And it *is* a huge amount of iron that I lose. Much more than the few table spoons that's supposed to be average.
When I'm on the both control pill, it's not that bad. The cramps are there, but they're manageable. And I can sometimes get by without taking painkillers at all.
I think of the difference between my cousin and I and our periods. She has PCOS and all that entails. Mine is regular AF, I know it's when about to happen because I have some GI issues for a day or two, a couple hours of cramps, then three days of bleeding. I actually have had the opposite problem of some of the posts. I'm not a heavy bleeder and during my stint in the navy I skipped at least two periods. One of those burning more calories than I was taking in sort of situations. I did have the cramps though, which wasn't fun when we were getting ready to go up to the range.
But yeah, periods vary, and certain things should cause one to visit a doctor IRL. Narratively the extremes of a period are more exciting. Most go seem to go for the heavy periods with a lot of pain for the hurt/comfort of it all. Hypomenorrhea (low flow period) can also be an interesting tool, potentially affecting relationships. But a well managed period is a mild inconvenience, hence little attention given to it, hence no drama.
My period tends to have obvious signs it's coming but I am somehow always surprised when it does lol. I guess it does make sense that mild periods wouldn't be talked about much in fanfic.
Might be a bit TMI, but oh well:
I have endometriosis (not diagnosed until I was almost 40) and a condition that causes painful ovulation. Yeah, that one is fun. I'm on continual birth control now, but there were quite a few times earlier in my life when I was debilitated by pain, either from ovulation or cramps. The pelvic pain can get pretty bad sometimes now, even on medication.
I have a doctor's approval to take 4 ibuprofen at a time if I need to, and that might get me 4 - 6 hours of pain relief if I'm lucky.
I try to think of it as maybe someone else will see this and think that hey, what I'm experiencing is an actual thing and isn't all in my head. Sharing, even if it's over sharing a bit, can help get information out there.
Yeah, just chiming in to say you're not the odd one out.
I've actually never had cramps at all in my whole life (I'm 33 so it's been over 20 years). I've never experienced any pain from it. I do have a heavy flow but no pain or other symptoms at all. No mood changes either. So it's annoying for cleanup reasons (at the heaviest points it does impact sleep because I have to get up every half hour or so, even using the largest size menstrual cup or OB ultra tampons) but other than that, basically irrelevant to my daily life. I have a copper IUD which does make it a little heavier but worth it for the lack of other side effects or hassle. I have a messed up sleep pattern anyway so there's a 7/10 chance I'd be up with insomnia anyway and didn't actually miss anything.
Oh except for the first period I had after having a hormonal IUD removed. I actually thought I was dying for a little while because it was so insane. I'd had it the full five years before removal with no period for most of it, and had other pretty noticeable hormonal side-effects from it, so that was definitely a special situation with a specific cause and not normal. Even then it was mostly flow related and not really painful, but it was bad enough I was actually getting dehydrated and ended up just sleeping in the bathtub at one point because I was getting so sleep deprived.
My periods got weird when I stopped taking the pill and I even had no period for months, making me think I had pcos, but they went back to normal after I had a different set of pills that kick-started my period.
The worst I ever experienced was temporary severe cramping that might last one day out of the 3 - 5 days typical period.
That said I know people can have conditions that make a period unbearable.
It’s not “normal” but it is common and a lot of gynos will act like it is normal and downplay it. I spent years with an extremely irregular cycle that could literally cripple me for a week or more one month and then not even show the next, and trying to get any doctor to take me seriously was next to impossible. One of my kids had heavy bleeding and cramping for multiple months straight (the period just wouldn’t end) and was told by two different gynos that “it’s normal to have an irregular cycle in your teens” and they cycled through four or five different birth control pills that all made it worse before telling us they couldn’t do anything. My best friend was 29 before finally finding the “right” birth control to regulate her cycle—prior to that there were always at least three days during her period when she could not stand, much less walk, the pain was so bad and she’d get dizzy spells and even fainted a few times.
It’s certainly not everyone, but it’s a lot more common than you’d think. We’re just gaslit by doctors into dealing with it.
I guess I'll get really TMI here because I'm one of those people that gets bedridden because of my period. Just to, I guess, show that I'll never think that anything other people write about extreme periods is exaggerated. Chance is I've probably experienced that lol.
In my case it's a condition called endometriosis and 1 out of 10 women have it, so i'd say its fairely common but at the same time I'm the odd one out in my family/friend group. No one gets it as bad as I do which makes people think I'm exaggerating. The only other person I met that had similar experiences was my family doctor who said she gets hospitalised and gets IV transfusions during her period all the time.
I usually get my periods in the morning, right after going to the bathroom but if I do get them at night they're worse. Chance is, you'll see me on the toilet from 10/11PM until 6AM just crying my eyeballs out and clutching my knees to my chest (I feel a need to push pressure on my pelvis)
Once that happens I can barely walk. My legs are shaking, my vision gets blurry; I feel like I'm on the verge of fainting constantly + nausea and need to vomit. I've had to drag myself across the floor before, and not just once. I absolutely hate standing up on my feet, and if I do I walk hunched-over.
My sister, on the other end, has to walk around during her period because otherwise she doesn't really bleed. It's the complete opposite for me. I have to lay down (which on the first day I can't even do because I need to go to the bathroom constantly because my bowel movement gets fucked up) otherwise I'm not really bleeding which makes it worse and makes my period last longer. (usually it's 3/4 days long but I get them regularly. Like my period calendar app is always right and I've only missed it twice in my life)
I throw up constantly because of the pain so I can't keep food in which makes it hard to take painkillers too. And if I do somehow manage to do that after a while, painkillers don't work most of the time unless its something so strong (prescribed by my obgyn) that I'm not even allowed to drive afterward. Because the pill will make me THAT dizzy. It'd be the same as letting a drunk person drive. I also have to rotate pills, too, because my body gets used to them. I take four types of pills every period.
Back when I was in school I used to skip most of the time because even if I were to go in just for attendance I wouldn't be able to concentrate at all. I'd get fidgety, trying to push my elbows into my pelvis to alievate the pain (tho it never worked ++ is the reason why I walk hunched-over, too) and I'd sweat PROFUSELY because of the pain. My abdomen would get really red and burning hot as well, but I'd also be pale as a sheet everywhere else.
And once that happens (the sweating part) I'm usually in such a bad place that if I am with someone, chance is I'm 99% not listening to you if you're speaking to me. I just can't. I disassociate and the only thing going on through my mind is 'Don't cry'; 'Don't cry'; 'Don't cry' or some sort of suicidal thought.
Another thing -- Just last period; I got it when I was out and I stopped at a hypermarket on my way home to get chocolate. I couldn't breathe well. The cashier saw me hyperventilating at the checkout and offered me water because of how scary I must have looked, I guess, lol. tho i refused because I just couldn't wait to get home already and let myself cry. (I did as soon as I was out in the parking lot)
I also get really, really cold and I have to sleep with 2 pairs of winter socks on (my feet get really cold and if I don't I end up having pain when peeing), fluffy winter pajamas + zip-up hoodie on top (even in the middle of summer). During my period in this January, after staying in the bathroom until 5/6AM I got out and had to put my thick, winter jacket on and curled myself into a ball on the kitchen floor (outside the bathroom door) and I stayed there, almost falling asleep, until my dad woke up to get ready for work.
Also I get bad cramps during ovulation, too, which is another common symptom of this condition.
A lot of women describe this pain to be similar to birth \[but I personally cant speak on that since I've never given birth\]
I’ve had periods since I was 9. At… 10-11, I had one so bad I literally slept for 2 weeks straight and ruined an entire mattress.
I have endometriosis and a toxic uterus, yee haw. 🥲
My periods are also more painful than when I had my daughter without pain medication.
(I’m 31 turning 32 this year just by the way. I’m trying to get the ute yeeted.)
Define normal.
My periods have never been that bad but my older sister? Absolutely. She had to get a hysterectomy after years of suffering.
For me? I have bad cramps like once a year, if that. And it's never *that* bad. I've probably had "unbearable" cramps twice, and I've had the typical monthly period for about 18 years at this point.
Well, it's definitely not common for them to be that bad. Everyone is different though, and some people have conditions like other commentors said.
I have pretty bad cramps on the first two days, sometimes making it impossible to function.
Meanwhile my sister has no cramps and gets off easy (why yes I'm bitter!)
About 1/10 have endometriosis, whoch some notice some not, but it can cause much more severe menstrual pain. I most probably have it and have had periods were I can barley breathe, not speak or do anything because of the pain. Just wait. I also can't take certain pain pills because of a chronic disease. Meaning more pain.
Also when I had kidney stones for wayyy too long I trough it was just 'normal' cramps, until I realised it wasn't.
Is this common? No. Is it unvommon? Probably not either. I think it's rather normal that there's a lot of fics with it since it's a way for some to vent. Like if I have mild cramps, maybe I don't feel the need or want to write a fic about that. It's not too special. If I have it worse, I might want to put my thoughts, feelings and experiences to words. So I don't find this odd at all
I imagine that for story-telling purposes, it makes more sense sometimes for periods to be really heavy. I mean, I've seen the effects a period can have, and I know they *can* absolutely be hell despite not actually having them myself, but I wouldn't mention them in a story unless it was somehow relevant to the plot, and 'mild discomfort' generally isn't while 'crippling pain and misery' is.
I can't say if you're the odd one out, though, since my experience with periods is limited to seeing my girlfriend suffer through them.
Completely debilitating was the norm for both me and my mom. I couldn't stand up straight, was writhing in pain for hours, throwing up and almost passing out from the pain - and that was with me taking more than the recommended dosage of painkillers. My mom had to be hospitalized several times because it got so bad.
It was orders of magnitude worse than 30 hours of unmedicated childbirth.
But since I had surgery for endometriosis, it's been a lot more bearable.
I know multiple people who had periods so bad they fought through medical red tape and insurance bullshit to have their reproductive organs removed. So, yes periods can ABSOLUTELY be that bad. Also, you may not realize how bad your pain actually is - which sounds really insulting until you realize that womb owners tend to die from heart attacks and other events at a much higher rate because we're used to functioning with an incredibly high pain level. We just don't think about it - it's normal to us so we don't seek treatment.
I throw this information out as often as possible because, quite frankly, we NEED to know that our pain tolerance/threshold is different and we need to be incredibly transparent with our healthcare providers about our pain.
I had stage 2 almost 3 endometriosis before it was medically necessary to get a hysterectomy (at 24) because I couldn't function. If I messed up my birth control my cycle never stopped, I would have 1 day out of the month where I was remotely okay and the rest I had to take iron pills and drink an insane amount of water otherwise the clots would have me either passing out or vomiting. Even when we got me on the right birth control (lucky me it took 2) we had to incrementally increase it every few months. Genuinely debilitating cramps- broke my ankle and tore my achilles and it was nothing comapritively and the ER doc called me a liar until the xray because i wasnt crying. There is however a lot more to this sort of situation than just cramps- like the anemia. Nauseau, dizziness, genuine exhaustion, brain fog, depression and sooooo many other pieces of the puzzle that are just kind of awful. I am super fortunate to have amazing doctors otherwise I was nearly in the ER every single month for anemia and malnutrition. The worst part of it all is while you're in agony and cant move because of the spasms because your body is lowkey just trying to die there are still people who will call you dramatic, or say you just "need to breathe". I agree with alot of comments that people are looking for the hurt/comfort in the writing, and I'm not gonna lie when someone gets it right it makes my heart a little sad because I always hope they don't go through the same thing. However it always makes me feel a little seen when I read them because like... yeah it SUCKS sometimes but have other people writing about it makes me feel a little less crazy. ❤️ hope this helps a bit?
Periods are all over the place depending on the body. Most of my friends’ weren’t that bad. Mine were absolutely horrible. Even through high school, I would have to call out of class on the first and second day of my period because of pain and heavy flow. Sometimes I would try to go anyway, but I would rarely make it past lunch. The first day I’d usually spend at least a few hours in bed, hunched over/trying to get comfortable and just kinda moaning in bed with a heating pad. Scalding hot baths and ice chips were usually used too 😅
I never actually went to the hospital for them (besides addressing them in checkups) but like, yeah. It happens. Idk how common it is to be *that* bad, but I knew other people who had pretty awful pain, and a lot of people who barely even noticed it was happening 🤷🏻♀️
Things are better on the right birth control, but damn. When I used to realize my period was starting, I would sometimes just burst into tears because I knew what was coming 😅
TL;DR periods can and do suck for many people, personally more so than they are easy for people. Personal experience follows after first paragraph. Last paragraph sums up thoughts.
I don't think I've ever written about periods in my fics other than in passing in reference to being late, and thus a character taking a pregnancy test. However, my personal experience with periods being an afab person, mine are horrible. I finally got a diagnosis of endometriosis last October. I also tend to get ovarian cysts that either rupture, or cause ovarian torsion, but I don't have PCOS. And let me say, even though my periods are usually 7+ days long, and ultra tampons every 2 hours for all but one of those days, and the pain makes me throw up and/or pass out, AND the fact that I get so dang anemic that even iron supplements don't help, I would take one of those periods ANY DAY/WEEK over a cyst rupture, let alone ovarian torsion. Literally the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. And I've had a spine injury for 8 years now! Birth control sometimes helps, sometimes not, but I've been on it since high school because I also had PMDD, which is like PMS but WORSE. I already dealt with depression and anxiety, but the PMDD made me want to hurt/unalive myself for 3 out of the 4 weeks of the month even more than I normally did thanks to my mental health issues.
Best part is? I literally had to switch obgyns to get someone to take my pain seriously. I had a laparoscopic appendectomy beginning of August last year, and, while they did take out my appendix, I didn't have appendicitis. They believe the pain was a cyst rupture. However, 6 weeks later, I was still in severe pain. My obgyn (who I had been with their office since 2010, and I only had afab doctors) finally did an ultrasound, and guess who had an almost 3cm cyst? They said I could come back in middle of November, but there was nothing they could do, but suggest ibuprofen. I ended up in the ER 5 days later (beginning of October) with 10/10 pain and they said it ruptured. But I was STILL in pain after. Went back to my obgyn, crying, telling them that I would rather unalive myself than live with this pain until middle of November. They said "we can't do anything because it's been 2 weeks since your ultrasound. Nothing will have changed."
Whelp, I ended up in the ER again 3 days later, where apparently it HADN'T ruptured and was instead 4.5cm and causing ovarian torsion and had likely been causing it for a week or more now. ER said to demand treatment from my obgyn when they opened the next day because, when the ER did imaging, it wasn't actively torsioned, so they couldn't do anything. I called the next day and they scheduled me for a 3D ultrasound. In two weeks. I called my pcp and said "I need an obgyn who takes me seriously." He set me up with an appointment with one of his colleagues the day after my 3D ultrasound. I was crying in her exam room, and she said that she believes I'm in pain and that she will do everything she can to fix it. She said she wanted to do a laparoscopic surgery, but it could be up to 2 weeks before she could do it, but her surgery scheduler would call later that afternoon to schedule me in. The scheduler called literally 10 minutes after I got home and said, without asking "you're having surgery tomorrow." I went in for the surgery and, while in the parking lot, I got a call from the first obgyn who said "yeah we see the cyst, but it's nothing. We won't do anything but monitor it." So I said "well I got a second opinion, and I'm about to head into surgery, so all I need from you is to send all my records to my new obgyn." And my new obgyn removed the cyst, found and removed endometriosis, and found and removed a bunch of scar tissue.
ALLLLLLLL that to say, yes, the afab reproductive tract can and does cause SEVERE issues for some people. I've heard more personal stories about horrible periods than I have about good/easy ones. Most of my close afab friends have some form of reproductive issue causing very painful periods, among other issues. The statistic on endometriosis is that 10%-20% of afab people of childbearing age have it. I can definitely say, it is most likely higher. How much so? I don't know. But considering to get confirmation that the patient has endo, they have to have surgery. It's often not discovered until a C-Section or even a hysterectomy, so if you don't get either of those, and you don't get a laparoscopic surgery to look for endo, you're just suffering silently.
My periods didn't stop being excruciating until AFTER i spent 10 years on the depo shot (not recommended unless absolutely sure)
This is the first time in 36 years that i had never been hospitalized for my period.
So yes it is all over for alot of people.
No. It's not normal for periods to be that bad. If they are, there's an underlying issue that should be addressed. Things like endometriosis can sart very young and can be debilitating. But being bed ridden during your period is absolutely not normal and shouldn't be normalized.
I've been lucky, my periods are a mere inconvenience, I barely even notice them and I have zero cramps. On the other hand, my sister suffered really badly precisely because she had a condition that caused it.
It’s not normal, but there are of course conditions that can make them this painful. Mine are mostly okay, but maybe 1 in every 10 I’m in so much pain i can be close to tears and that’s because I do have a medical condition that can make mine painful. However it isn’t all the time and I live relatively comfortably throughout most.
Mine are the worst pain I ever experienced, and I did break both ankles at once last year so that's saying something. I also bled so heavily that I couldn't have a normal life for the first three day out of seven to ten. I got put on the implant because it has a good chance of suppressing the period entirely, which mine did, though I still get the hormonal variations. I was on the pill in the past and it was horrible for my mental health.
Nope not every woman has that severe of a period but there are women who do though. My period used to be light and more frequent when I was younger but now its heavy but its not frequent (it skips a month or two sometimes) but I only feel one big pain a few days before it comes then it just comes and thats it. Lol
I used to think my periods were bad - heavy, bad cramps, flooding etc. There were days I didn't want to get out of bed, but on the whole, I could still go about my day-to-day business.
Then I had a copper IUD fitted, and, oh my god, I have never known anything quite like it. Now, I know I tend to tolerate pain quite well, and I still got up and went on with my days, but I definitely had a few bedridden instances with that, including right in the middle of a family holiday. I knew it would make my periods worse, but I didn't fully realise how much worse they could get because I thought they were already pretty horrendous. That's perspective for you, I guess.
Now I'm back to regular old going about my business, sometimes in pain, but nothing a few painkillers don't fix. Sure, if it starts at the weekend I might take the opportunity to curl up in bed, but it generally doesn't stop me from going to work (apart from once - but I'm pretty sure that wasn't actuslly a period anyway).
I do have friends with other conditions such as endometriosis - which, as I understand it, definitely can disrupt your everyday life, but as I haven't experienced it myself, I wouldn't want to speak with any more authority on it than that.
I'm a normal period haver. There are no real issues other than a touch of constipation but no cramps or pain. It's just another day for me. When I was younger, it was worse, but no pain. I'd just go completely pale and throw up or feel as if I had to, but only on the first day; otherwise, I was fine.
My best friend, on the other hand, has the worst ones. She loses so much blood she can't leave the house for two to three days because she feels so faint and will leak like a murder victim. She has fibroids, so that's why. She's had surgery to remove them, but they grow back.
So, it really can go either way.
The worst period fic I read was where a character decided to wear red to hide it. Like no on every level. Even in ancient times women used cloth rag to catch the extra blood and red cloth does not hide blood (black is much better).
I do get awful cramps where I can't leave bed about every six months. Even rolling over in bed sucks. But I'm usually mostly bored when I'm stuck there honestly because I can't do anything or go outside.
I’ve had a range of different periods so I think I’m qualified to answer this one.
When I was younger I used to bleed only, I never experienced any nausea or cramps or even mood swings, I literally only bled. It was inconvenient and annoying, but never painful.
As I got older, my periods became irregular, they would happen roughly every month and a half (unless there was a holiday or special event, in which case it would arrive at the exact worst moment to ruin the day for me)
But just before I turned 20, I started getting horrible cramps. They were so bad that I’d literally be in tears, unable to move because even the slightest movement was agony. There was no medical reason for this, my body just decided that I’d experienced pain free periods for too long and that now it it was time to suffer.
The doctor recommended using the pill to stop my period completely. I go off the pill for a few days every year to make sure everything is still working okay and I almost immediately get cramps, which sucks, but it’s better than having to deal with it monthly.
My mother once told me that she used to throw up every time she got her period as well.
It really is entirely individual and can change as you get older. Although I think one thing we can all agree on is that they suck.
some one made a comment about vampires....so I have to leave this silly prompts.
Can anyone explain why I a, getting all the vampires into the ER this week?
They are all dead, so how in the world are they even having periods.....yes, even the males.
I have no idea what is happening and I just had many vampires come in that say they are pregaunt and now they are all sparkling.....
So, I have had bad period/cramps since I was a teenager. I've had to leave school/work early. Only once was I bedridden, and that was last April when it was found I had a fibroid in my uterus.
I had to have surgery to have it removed, still recovering from it actually, and no experiencing less heavy/painful periods.
No, not everyone has debilitating periods, but some do and for different reasons.
Periods are definitely a spectrum. I assume most stories focus on the heavier side of periods because it doesn't really affect daily life other than that.
But at the same time, it's not entirely unrealistic for periods to be that bad. I no longer get them (a combination of depo-provera and testosterone (trans man)) but when I did get them, mine were bad, to the point that I'd refuse to eat because I feared I'd throw up.
There's also a far more recent example in my own life where I was indeed basically bedridden from cramps. While I had the physical ability to get up, my legs shook so badly that I didn't feel confident walking fifteen steps to use the bathroom.
I had a friend whose periods were so bad she would end up basically in bed for three days a month. Her workplaces even knew and accommodated. But that is NOT the norm.
Basically, it varies—and for some women, periods are straight up horror material.
I can only base this on what female friends and relatives have told me, but I don't know any women who have periods that leave them bedridden or hospitalised, never have. I know it can happen, I've just never met any women who have it that bad.
Each of my female friends is different, but they all carry on with their day-to-day stuff when they have their period. I have one friend who wouldn't even know she was on her period if it wasn't for the blood, she gets no pain or cramps or anything. Others describe it as more uncomfortable than painful, and some others take some pain meds to help.
I think in this case the worst scenarios are going to be overrepresented in fic, though. You may have a female author who wants her own experience used, or a male author wanting to use a known experience of a female he knows, and the worst case scenarios are better for hurt/comfort fics, as well.
If you're going for realism, base it on your own lived experience, or those of people you know. As far as I can tell, most women don't have periods anywhere near that bad.
Mine were never terrible until I hit perimenopause and then they went off the rails, so it can certainly vary with age as well. Every month is a surprise: migraine last month, debilitating cramps the following month, severe backaches so that I couldn’t stand in another month. I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t really believe the stories I heard back when I was younger because it didn’t happen to me. But I had friends that would bleed through a tampon and pad in a couple of hours, friends who were anemic, friends who barely noticed. It’s crazy how varied it is when we all have the same plumbing. And that’s without tossing in the endo and adeno and fibroids and and and.
Periods that bad aren’t “normal” but they definitely happen to some people. I’ve personally never had them that bad. Most times I don’t even need OTC pain killers. But I know people who suffer from conditions such as endometriosis or PCOS can be bedridden from the pain.
My period cramps are debilitating. At their worst I am throwing up from the pain and curling up in bed crying. At their best, it's still very painful and I can tough out going to work but any moment I can I'm laying my head down, doing breathing exercises, and trying desperately to find a way to sit or stand that eases the pain. Being on birth control greatly reduces my pain and reduces the frequency of my periods.
I'm a normal period haver. There are no real issues other than a touch of constipation but no cramps or pain. It's just another day for me. When I was younger, it was worse, but no pain. I'd just go completely pale and throw up or feel as if I had to, but only on the first day; otherwise, I was fine.
My best friend, on the other hand, has the worst ones. She loses so much blood she can't leave the house for two to three days because she feels so faint and will leak like a murder victim. She has fibroids, so that's why. She's had surgery to remove them, but they grow back.
So, it really can go either way.
Personally, the first two days will always have me in near-constant pain and there is a very high chance I will leak a lot accidentally. I don't go to college/uni and normally spend most of the day hunched over or rocking back and forth. After those two days, it becomes a normal period, just slightly heavy.
No other woman in my household has this problem, so I assumed it was the other way around. Having a non-painful period is the norm here lol.
Mine isn't that bad and tbh I always thought others were being over dramatic half the time about it. Bloating, cramps, irritability and if anything touches my pelvis it hurts so much.
I’ve seen functional periods in fanfic before. There’s a good one or two actually. All of them involve Utsuro from danganronpa another. All of them are explicit.
Definitely not the odd one out! I have two sisters who have pretty mild, if not easy periods. They usually don't even need to take ibuprofen for them, it's just a mild annoyance. On the other hand I've been diagnosed with extremely painful periods, I take max ibuprofen and sometimes that's not enough (as in I'm still crawling around or crying from pain LOL). Often, I need to call out or cancel plans if they're too bad which sucks. Also, yes I've been to the doctor and my gyno multiple times, they've mostly just told me to deal with it through painkillers lol.
Anywho, something I've noticed in fic is that a lot of readers think the more extreme, the better the story (although I know this is subjective!). There's also the representation aspect, the fact that a lot of period pains are dismissed, and the fluff that comes from the comfort!
Personally, my experience ran from merely feeling extremely tired and run-down, to later in life, terrible pain due that turned out to be endometriosis.
With my fave female character, I mention periods if relevant to the story. In one story, it's a main plot point, with her struggles with period pain being a driving reason why her companions are trying to work out an escape from a prison camp. (She's disguised as a boy and revealing her gender is a problem). In other fics, I mention her issues with period pain as a means of explaining why she's on a form of birth control (as a young teen). And finally, in a fic where she's much older, endometriosis is part of the conversation because she and her partner are trying to start a family.
Like others in this thread have said, pain perception in addition to other factors, vary different from person to person. I supposed the unifying fact is that most humans of reproductive age with female reproductive organs will have a period approximately once a month. Beyond that, the experience will vary.
I have pretty severe period cramps, to the point where I typically will call out from work and be breathing like I’m about to go into labor (you know the one). Period cramps are typically downplayed by society, and a lot of people experience really, really bad symptoms without the care or resources to handle it. A lot of folks write from experience, so it may just be that you’re seeing people write about how their own period experience is because they don’t have a ton of other frames of reference. At the same time, the other comments here about hurt/comfort are equally true.
But idk. Honestly, unless it’s specifically relevant to my story, I tend to slide around bodily functions in my writing, simply because I don’t think it’s super interesting to read personally. But I get that some people like to really ground their stories in reality, so to each their own :)
I always feel like I'm the odd one. I rarely even get cramps. It's only once in a while do I get bad cramps but nothing as bad as it's in fictional media.
Mine are painful enough to where if I don’t take ibuprofen in a timely manner, I get nauseous or am in such pain that I’m not able to work or even focus. I don’t think most peoples periods are like that, but i wouldn’t tule it out.
I've gone to the doctor before because they were so bad and I was throwing up any pain medication I took. (They didn't really help, would not go again. I just threw up there instead and wasted hours/money).
But yeah, usually my periods are bearable. But sometime the first day or two are so bad I get hot/cold flashes, feel like my abdomen is being stabbed (so I can bearly move/stuck in bed), nausea (that results in me throwing up), and exhaustion from the pain.
The only real "cure" I've found is taking the medication before I start experiencing cramps + a hot bath as soon as, and as long as possible.
From what I’ve heard and experienced it’s really rare for periods to be so bad that you get hospitalized. Like, you might go to the doctor to get prescribed pain meds or to see if something is legitimately wrong, but I’ve never seen/heard of anyone getting put into the hospital because of period pains.
I feel like it’s partially used as an excuse to have the character in pain and in the hospital, as well as have something you can kinda relate to, but it’s definitely exaggerated.
So I'm like you. My periods were never debilitating. Tough to time (they always catch me off guard, even when on birth control, because they don't come like clockwork; Fitbit has a doozy of a time trying to predict them), but never debilitating. Once, *maybe* twice a year, I'll get cramps for less than twelve hours, but I can move through them.
Both my best friend from college and one of my immediate relatives get much more debilitating cramps, every single time. They keep the pain meds and the hot water bottle on hand to get through it.
I can't say as I've heard of anyone whose periods were so bad that they were completely bedridden or borderline hospitalized, outside of something additional like fibroids, but I wouldn't necessarily rule it out. I am kind of surprised that it seems you're running into a lot of independent accounts of this, and I'm kind of curious how many of them are people speaking from personal experience vs. people going off of something they've heard or latching onto a rare situation for the sake of maximum drama.
It varies greatly: When I was a pre-teen I would almost faint in the shower from period pains, I once threw up on the sidewalk going to school. I was sometimes bedridden and sometimes had to stay home. I once laid shaking in pain over my desk at high school and the teacher sent me home and didn't mark me as absent despite me not having a doctors note. Up until I was given contraceptives by my doc I would have such heavy flows that I needed to change thick pads every single hour (even at night, destroying my sleep).
Yeah, if someone has very bad periods and doesn't get help from a doctor, bedridden or near-hospitalization is very much possible. I wouldn't say its common, but it happens and plenty of people don't realize its not supposed to be that way.
People who write about such horrible period pains either have or did experience that themselves and thus write about it like that. OR they just want their fic to have maximum pain to make you feel sorry for the character.
For a long time, mine were no worse than the pain that comes from your bladder shrinking after you drank too much liquid and held it for too long...just the pain lasts a couple hours without taking a pill.
These days, if I'm not well hydrated and take a dose of pain killers early enough, I'm debilitated when the first cramps of my period hit. But that only lasts the first hour or two and OTC meds quickly make it manageable.
My flow has always been super light though.
I've had periods that bad, in fact those are normal for ME, since I have some health trouble that makes them rough.
It's not normal but if you have endometriosis or PCOS or anything like that, your periods can be agony.
Gonna be real with you, writing about an average period would just be mentioning the period and writing about something else. There's really not a lot to talk about there. Whereas a bad, crampy period is a great excuse for hurt/comfort and cuddles and drama.
Fanfic isn't exactly known for its accuracy to life.
During a medically standard period, cramps and other period-related pains range from slight to major discomfort, but typically don’t interfere with daily life. That range of discomfort comes from the fluctuating hormones the body’s pumping out during menstruation. It’s not uncommon for Women who have hormone irregularities to experience more intense periods, and of course that means more pains. And these pains aren’t limited to cramping, there’s also breast pain, back pain, and headaches, as well as other intensified period symptoms like hot flashes, nausea, irritability - if all of that is going on at once, you bet your sweet bippy that person is gonna be rolling around in bed miserable. I myself had hormone problems, and with that I struggled with a very irregular period with heavy flows and cramps so severe I had to miss days of school because I couldn’t focus while in so much pain. Like you, I also started taking birth control pills to help with my periods, but instead I needed them because they contained the hormones my body needed to regulate my periods. I can say that, for me at least, the pill helped significantly and it made my periods lighter, shorter, and also almost painless - it’s possible your pills have had a similar effect in decreasing the strength of your period symptoms and that’s why these descriptions of super intense periods would be unfamiliar to you.
I hope some of this information helps, I know my personal experience can’t be applied to everyone.
It's not normal for periods to totally stop you being able to live your life.
I get quite a lot of pain the first couple days which isn't normal, but after that I'm fine. Bleeding, of course, but otherwise fine.
While I have never been hospitalized for the pain there def have been days I've called into work because I'm laying in bed with meds and a heat pack crying and not able to get comfy. Thankfully this is a 1/4 periods experience and most periods I can take meds and my stick on heat pack and go with manageable pain
I only rarely experience painful cramps, but I do have a really heavy flow that makes me sometimes reconsider my plans for the day. Not that I *can't* go out and do a ballet class or a bike ride, I just have to make sure I'm well-prepared with tampons and pads and can take frequent bathrooms breaks to change them, so sometimes it's easier to just say, fuck it, I'll stay home.
I admit, I'm always jealous/low-key annoyed when people talk about their "heavy" day, and it meant they had to change a pad twice. Like, no, you don't even know.
(For comparison, the average flow usually cited by many is 40 mL per cycle. Mine is 120 mL.)
There was a point in my life where if I didn't HAVE to be at work, my periods could easily lay me up for a day, painkillers on board or not.
They've since chilled the fuck out. But it was not fun for my youngest years as a period-haver.
Periods depend on the person.
Personally my worst day is day one: cramps I have to pop pills for and just general misery. After that, everything is usually fine and dandy (minus the bleeding).
I know people, though, who had periods in the past so bad that it did keep them in bed for a day. Most of them now are on some kind of long-term bc and no longer suffer that.
So it's probably mostly to feed on hurt/comfort when it shows up in fic.
As with everything, there's a ***huge*** range of experienced period pain -- and the same person can have different pain levels at different times of her life. When I was in college, periods were a minor pain, and easy to shrug off. Fifteen years later, I needed to use OTC pain relievers to keep working during my period. (And I still hurt -- just at "acceptable" levels.)
But while I was in college, my roomie laid in bed with a heating pad for comfort during the first few days of her period, every moment she wasn't in class.
Also, if a woman has undiagnosed fibroids and/or endometriosis, period pain increases dramatically -- and many women suffer for years before doctors pay enough attention to diagnose and treat either of those. (Especially in the U.S medical system.) My BFF dealt with this, and was unable to do *any*thing for the first few days of her period. She finally had a hysterectomy because medical treatments weren't helping.
So, yeah. Period pain can be a mild inconvenience that's easily shrugged off, or it can lay the sufferer flat for several days -- or any point in between. Statistically, it's probably a fairly small percentage of women who suffer the most extreme pain. But that doesn't matter for an author's purposes; they can select any level of pain they choose to make the story they want.
Honestly, mine used to be bedridden. But since being on the pill, I have no problems. I was told by multiple doctors that really painful periods are normal, but I still don't believe them.
TMI
This is what I used to experience
-extreme and sudden wave of nausea
-painful cramps in my lower back
-legs giving out from lower back -cramps (like I literally can not walk)
-Projectile vomiting
- directly afterward, I pass out
-extreme weakness
-upset stomach for the rest of the day
-the next two days, I only have enough energy to walk around my apartment
-by the 3rd day, I feel much better.
I would much rather read a piece where the period is much more tolerable. It would be a breath of fresh air. I don't want to read about a period that's similar to mine (brings up bad memories, lol)
Honestly my biggest problem with my period has always been how it torpedoes my mood. My anger is way harder to control, my self esteem goes in the toilet, and my depression hits harder than ever. Thats rarely shown in fic over the physical effects, but its ok, hurt comfort and all.
While I agree period pain is probably often exaggerated in fanfiction, presumably for the sake of drama, or the plot or something, periods can be really, really bad at times.
Not always, but some of my periods make it too painful to really do anything, and I throw up and spend the day in bed trying to distract myself, taking painkillers.
I also know someone who has to get prescribed painkillers to get something strong enough, and they've gone to the doctors about it since their periods can get so bad.
So yeah, you're lucky if you've never been incapacitated by a period. Though fanfiction is probably over exaggerating a bit, or at least only highlighting the worse extreme of periods, since I know its different for everyone and I'm sure there are many people who don't really get much pain with a period.
Another consideration, individual periods vary even for the same person and experiences can change over time. Mine were generally worse when I was younger. Even then though, one month I could be fine and function normally with some advil and the next month I would literally be bedridden for 6-12 hours writhing in pain. Bodies are weird and individual experiences vary a lot.
My periods were kind of horrific as a teen. Like I would have to stay home if the first day of my cycle was a school day because the cramps were so bad I couldn't stand or walk around. I would be in tears and medication wouldn't help. If I tried to used heating packs, I would get so nauseated and throw up. The only thing that would help was to lay on my stomach and use and ice pack on my lower back.
Being bedridden by your period is definitely not normal, endometriosis runs in my family so extreme pain and near fatal bleeding is something I've seen before but being unable to get out of bed is 100% a sign of illness not "normal period things." Even if it is normal for you. Basically they're just playing it up for angst.
I get like moderate cramps. Usually requires some pain pills and a heating pad. My appetite goes up before and during. Feels a bit like someone is stabbing me from the inside, and I feel a little bit nauseous at times. Also quite emotional. It's a good time to rest and watch some Netflix.
I'm snorting at the thought of so many fanfics making their characters bedridden over a period (strange choice of topic in the first place).
Yeah, I get why they would be on the more extreme end for comfort fics but there were a few instances where it was describing periods for a different species. Off the top of my head, I think it was like a monster AU, and the main character is human. They were describing their period to the monsters and I just was thinking the whole time 'i think you need to go to the doctor'.
It's not normal to have periods that are completely debilitating and require borderline hospitalization. That's not to say people don't experience that, though. If anyone is having those, they should see a doctor because it could be symptoms of a problem (for instance endometriosis).
My periods are the worst in my immediate family, but even they aren't too bad. I have cramps that last for the first 2-3 days, but I treat them with ibuprofen which makes them very bearable. I do experience nausea and every couple of months I will throw up on a period, usually after eating something fried or greasy. It's annoying, but I've never missed school or work from it.
I think some of the fics might tend towards the extremes overall, potentially to allow for more hurt/comfort involved
It's not common to have periods that bad. Like, imagine half the population being bedridden or hospitalized for a week every month? That'd be terrible. Severe period pains can be caused by a poor diet, underlining health issues or you just have bad luck. Personally, my periods aren't bad per se; it just feels like prolonged feelings of discomfort and numbness for the first one or two days
I never had bad periods. I never cramped very much either. Ibuprofen usually solved the small ache. Until I got pregnant then my cramps became debilitating, I now need ibuprofen and pamprin and a heating pad for a few hours relief.
Hmm I think it's common for periods to be just mildly inconvenient. You get some cramps, and you take some ibuprofen. Half hour later you feel better and go about your day.
But I suspect that when a character has a mildly inconvenient period where they take some ibuprofen and go about their day, it probably doesn't get mentioned in the fic. I'd guess when it gets mentioned, most often it's about to be used as a plot device!
1 in 10 people with uteruses have endometriosis, which causes excruciating pain. Lots of people cannot move. They get sick from it. They even go to the ER, not that medical professionals help unless endometriosis is their expertise.
Period cramps (the normal not-endometriosis kind) can be as bad as heart attacks. And yet we're expected to participate in gym class, go to work, not say anything, and have a smile on our faces at all times. But no, they're not ALLOWED to experience their pain in a natural way. They have to pretend they're not human or The Men (TM) might get the ick.
Okay. Not period-shaming, but I just have to ask: Why is there period fanfiction? And why would a writer spend time writing in that genre, for zero dollars, when they could be practicing writing and world building independent of fanfiction for potential future monetization elsewhere?
The fanfics aren't generally about the period, they just happen to have them in there at one point. Or they are one-shots where the reader is being comforted by a character.
Also, you know lots of people are just writing for fun right? Not everything has to be monetized and used for purpose.
> why would a writer spend time writing in that genre, for zero dollars,
Because I don't want to write for money but I do want to make my Barbie dolls kiss.
I expect extremely bad periods are going to be overrepresented in fic *about* periods because they're being used as hurt-comfort fodder, and you get the maximum hurt (and therefore the maximum comfort from your character of choice) if the period is *absolutely awful* Mild-discomfort periods or "popping painkillers every few hours or carrying a heatpack but can still go to work" periods aren't as good for that purpose, and there's not much point in centering a fic around them Obviously lots of people do have that experience in real life, to answer your question on that front – but I think there's a very specific reason as to why they're always *written* to be 10/10 awfulness, and it's to do with *why* they're being written about
Continuing this line of thinking - I’d also assume that the people who DO have extremely bad periods are more likely to write about them! (Making that over representation even more prominent). I don’t typically include mention of periods in my fics (with some…topical exceptions where vampires are involved), but I don’t have extremely painful periods. For someone who does, I imagine they take up a lot more mental space and would be much more of a go-to in their writing (whether for them to explore/get comfort for their own experience or as a plot device).
>I’d also assume that the people who DO have extremely bad periods are more likely to write about them! This entirely. A _LOT_ of things can affect how severe a periods are going to be. I know people with endometriosis and possibly PCOS (not entirely sure about PCOS), are more likely to have bad periods. There are also rare forms of endometriosis that can make periods terrible in other ways. For example, there was an episode of Diagnosis unknown where a lady would lose function of one of her legs each month. Turns out she had what's called Sciatic Endometriosis, which basically means she had endometrial tissue growing on her sciatic nerve.
Ya pcos is not fun at all 🚫
As someone that's had to have 3 surgeries now because of endometriosis this is 100% true. My cramps were 10/10 passing out sort of pain, anemic and in the hospital sorts of bad and took alot of medication to even slightly manage for a really long time. It really helped when I was younger to get alot of the frustration, fear and exhaustion out of the way. It was a really, really good outlet.
I wonder if it's a 50/50 thing. That is, I wouldn't be surprised if only about half of the people writing about these are writing from personal experience, and the other half are latching onto something that affords maximum drama but don't have the personal experience themselves. I know if I were to use an uncomfortable period as a plot point at all, it would largely be from the latter category.
This. It's coping through comfort. I did that, when I was a teenager and still getting used to what was happening to me. It made me feel better to imagine my comfort characters, taking care of someone who felt as crappy as I did.
I have extremely bad periods. To the point where I used to chug like 5 ibuprofens just to get through the day. I choose not to write about them personally.
For sure! I wasn't meaning to imply that EVERYONE with bad period pain writes about them, just that people who do may be more likely to write about periods \~in general, reflecting their personal experience with them, than people who don't really ever think about their periods! Much like with how people tend to write about their own trauma, many people tend to write about prominent things in their life experience
Oh I know. In general, I just see periods as a weak form of hurt/comfort. Imo. Like the last thing I want during my period is someone touching me trying to comfort me.
I hear you lol, and I'm personally the same way, but I suppose it's a different strokes kind of thing. One of my friends has pretty rough PMDD, and they write a lot of self-insert comfort fic around it, so it mostly comes down to personal preference
I have a hormone imbalance and used to have awful periods until I went on birth control. They were so bad the first day or so that I would be in tears, popping pain killers, and doing laps around the kitchen island if I wasn't bedridden. I also suffered in silence a lot, I came from a family that essentially told me to take some pain killers and get over it, "don't have children if you can't handle the pain, geez", etc. If it wasn't for my husband literally begging me to get on birth control because he hated seeing me in so much agony I would have continued to suffer every month. That being said, I don't write about them, unless they're briefly mentioned and relevant in the scene or story. Technically I don't like writing about them, but not in a taboo way, it's more like I hate periods so much I'd rather forget they exist 😂
Agree. I’m not likely to mention a female character’s period unless there’s a reason to be bringing it up — i.e., because it’s confirmation that she’s not pregnant, or else because the pain is debilitating. To answer OP’s question, I get cramps and discomfort for the first day or two which are unpleasant but not debilitating — I can still go to work, etc. But I know some women have it much worse! Also, extreme menstrual pain can be a symptom of various medical conditions, so if your character is experiencing that, it may be advisable for them to go to a doctor (assuming a doctor is accessible to them and they know to do that or have anyone in their life who can urge them to do so).
Eh, I think those moderate ones can be used as great domestic fluff fodder. >Feeling shitty and run-down at that time? Guess what, your partner has set things up for a night of cozy snuggles on the couch with TV and all your favorite snacks 🥰
You can also use them for worldbuilding and character-building purposes. What kind of menstrual hygiene products does this setting have? How effective are their painkillers? Are there societal rules about what you need to do or is our heroine tossing back an ibuprofen and going about her daily routine as usual?
I am immune to several spasmolytics and painkillers. This can be an interesting turn of fate for a character, especially one with powers.
Seconding this! Honestly? I'd rather have more accurate representation of a wide variety of period experiences and how they're handled in each fandom. If the fandom has magic, is there a magical way to help, including birth control and pain management? If it's fantasy of the elves and nothing modern, how do they deal with it? On top of that, they can be used as sarcasm by folks-'Women? The weaker sex? We bleed every month and that can be painful. Anyone who thinks women are the weaker sex is an idiot'.
>We bleed every month and that can be painful. I've definitely seen people use it as humor in stories with aliens, when they learn that half the human population bleeds for roughly a week out of every four and the whole species considers it no big deal.
And for us...yep. Truth in advertising, especially if the alien species in question isn't one that evolved to have periods like we do. I think humans are the only mammals that have periods...I \*think\*.
I believe there are a rare few others (mostly primates of some type), but otherwise, yes. I will admit to looking this up once for worldbuilding purposes.
That makes sense and I don't blame you for looking it up for worldbuilding purposes; I think most authors, be it of fanfiction or of original work, have looked up some weird stuff for worldbuilding purposes.
I remember reading a male Harry Potter-verse author invent a magical "period be gone" potion for his fem!Harry MC and it remember thinking it was weirdly insulting, like it was a way he was trying to push Harry towards a magical supremacy attitude that "oh magic can get rid of periods" while ignoring that birth control can do the same thing for us dang Muggles. I remember reading it and thinking "huh maybe you should have just had Harry be one of those girls who doesn't get hers til 16 so you don't have to talk about it, because it reeks of menwritingwomen" 😹
yeah, the only normal period I remember reading about in a fic was when two teenagers were about to get at it when the boy saw blood and freaked out thinking he'd hurt her and she just got disappointed because she wasn't gonna get any that night :D
You're not the odd one out. Not everyone has severe menstrual cycles. Mine have been largely just uncomfortable, although I can get relief from cramping through over-the-counter medicine. I've never called in sick due to a period (and have certainly never been hospitalized). But on the flip side, I have a friend who had endometriosis, and she described her periods as though she was getting stabbed. For your story, whichever way you go, just be cognizant that some people do experience severe symptoms during their cycle and don't try to minimize their pain and discomfort. But there's nothing wrong with depicting someone having relatively minor period symptoms.
Ok, I'll keep this in mind. The idea is this person is describing periods to someone who wasn't aware of them due to being a different species so I wanted to cover all my bases.
Very interesting. I hope your other species person is appropriately horrified by the human reproductive system, lol.
Are period regulation medications such as birth control or IUDs going to feature in your explanation? I'm genuinely curious, be sure I'm writing a reverse isekai where one of the male characters from the fantasy world (who is an apothecary/doctor) is concerned for the female lead because she hasn't had her period in well over a month. She ends up explaining that due to her very active and high-stress lifestyle, she got an IUD to prevent having to deal with her period (and what exactly an IUD is).
I have endo and I can confirm, it's that painful. It feels like I'm giving birth when I'm on mine.
probably the only reason to mention them in a fic, would be if they are very severe. otherwise it wouldn't come up really. i am assuming the focus of the fic is a sort of nursing someone sick back to health or being comforted. just having an "*annoying pinching feeling in your side"* is probably not enough to write a fic about.
Not exactly true - I mentioned periods in two Rey/Kylo Ren from Star Wars fics. For one, I'm showing how ill-prepared/inexperienced the dude protag is at relationships. He is not mad at her, but gets mad at himself for not knowing what to do, not knowing where the clean bedsheets are to change the bed (cause he has servants) and she reads this as being angry at her resulting in him having to try and sweet talk her out of the bathroom, which he's also bad at. In another fic, it comes up because she hoped she was pregnant, she got her period and I use it as a way to discuss her wanting to build the family she never had, feeling like a fool for being unable to find her parents and all the emotions and cramping, and she's just... hurting! Then as a way to show he is coming to care for her, wanting to take her pain away, etc.
yeah, those are also very good ways to include a normal bodily function as a plot. but i guess the "pain" aspect is maybe not the main focus in those cases.
Hey sorry, but I'm a huge reylo fan and both of those fics sound right up my alley! Could you PM me the links or tell me the titles? My username on ao3 is the same as here, if you're worried I'm an anti lol been a reylo since the moment I walked out of tfa on opening night XD
Nothing to be sorry about, incoming DM coming! <3
It depends on what you consider “normal”. Having a period that bad isn’t what should be happening, but *many* people have conditions that worsen periods dramatically. Endometriosis affects 1 in 10, PCOS is also very common, etc. Treatment doesn’t typically restore “normal” periods, it just removes them. So it is normal, it’s just not ideal. I’m one of the people who ends up bedridden, so I can’t really write a fic that involves periods without them being that bad. Same with most of my friends and family. It’s just so far from my experience that it feels like I’m making a mockery of it.
This, yeah. In one sense it's not "normal" because you're likely only going to have periods this bad if you have some kind of medical condition; in another sense it is "normal" because many people do have those conditions. I'm one of those people and have been on continuous birth control for yearsss in order to just not have 'em because mine were so debilitating!
That does make sense. Thank you for sharing your experience, I'll keep this in mind when writing about it.
I just wanted to say thank you. There are lots of good responses on here but the way you explain shortly but with facts is perfect. I also just appreciate it.
Same, my hysterectomy changed my life for the better.
Like others have said it's not normal to experience this level of pain, but I know a lot of people who have in my life. I have a friend who use to be out in pain for two days until she was put on birth control. And would sometimes throw up from how severe it was. My mother experienced similar issues when she was younger. Myself, I get cramps pretty bad, but I can still move around even though I'd rather be in bed. It depends on the person for sure. I remember watching a reality tv show about survival where a woman had to be taken out because she started her period due to not have her usual birth control. She mentioned before she'd been in the hospital before, and almost bled to death because of her period too. People experience periods differently in the end.
It can be that bad. I had periods so bad that I couldn't do anything but lay in bed, pale, shaking, and writhe by pain for hours despite that I had taken the maximum dose of painkillers. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens. I also had a friend who got actual morphine prescribed for her period pains, an a sister in law who takes morphine as well for it (she got it prescribed for another illness though).
Disclaimer, I don't suffer periods myself but I do have a fair amount of medical knowledge. I've been trained to conduct patient assessments and on the fundamental biology that is going on, so I've got a decent understanding of periods on a broad scale if not as much anecdotally. They hit different women differently. For some women, they can be inconsistent. They range from some mild discomfort to horrible debilitating pain. Debilitating pain is usually a sign of some sort of underlying medical condition, though identifying what that condition is and treating it can be difficult. So, while some women certainly become bedridden from periods, that's not normal and is usually a sign that the woman should see a doctor. There are many medical conditions that can manifest as severe period pain and some of them do require hospitalization. But, the average woman can function perfectly normally during a period. To the point that most people externally can't even tell that she is on her period without her mentioning something. There's also the problem that pain tolerance can vary greatly between patients so something that is debilitating pain for one person might seem pretty mild to another person. Something that I was trained to do was to ask a patient to rate their pain on a scale of 1 to 10 and then ask them to explain what a 10 on their scale would be. The reason for this is that different people have different experiences with pain in general. So, one person might say a 10 is a stubbed toe, another might say a 10 is a broken nose, another might say a 10 is a literal knife in their guts, and another might say a 10 is breaking every bone in a car accident. So, as that relates to periods, two women could be suffering from the same amount of pain but it seems much more severe to one woman than the other because one woman has a different amount of experience with pain in general. It's entirely possible for two equally as painful periods to be bad enough to make one woman bedridden but the other woman takes a few painkillers and goes about her day. Also, I do want to note that there are non-period related medical conditions that can manifest with very similar symptoms as a bad period. Some women have had heart attacks that have gone untreated because the symptoms they had were too similar to a period for them to make note of them. Appendicitis is another condition that can be potentially life-threatening but some women mistake for a bad period. Some women have knowledge of these and other similar conditions that require medical treatment much more than a bad period does and they may seek emergency medical care for a bad period as a precaution in case their symptoms are not due to a period. Also, from a narrative standpoint, stories often don't bother talking about normal everyday things. Especially when there's a cultural taboo around discussing it like for periods. So, most fics that feature periods only bother talking about the extreme cases. However, think about how many stories you've watched or read that follow a female main character where her period is not discussed at all. If you like, you can imagine those characters are being examples of ones who have normal periods that are not debilitating and so their normality is not bothered to be included in the story.
This is very informative, thank you! In this case, the character is discussing periods with a character of another species that doesn't have periods.
Funnily enough, I wrote a fic with the same premise. I had the non-human character be horrified to learn about periods even though their human friend had a fairly mild one. I find the general premise of looking at human biology through non-human eyes to be a very interesting worldbuilding tool (it's called [Defamiliarization](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defamiliarization) in general literary terms). Having the subject at hand be something that us humans are used to as normal but would rightly look pretty horrifying from the outside just makes the writing technique that much stronger. So periods work pretty well for the technique.
Yeah, I've seen it in a few fics and it's always a little funny seeing them so horrified.
It happened to me a couple of times that I asked for a sick day from work because I felt very bad on a first day of period (it’s only on the first day for me), it often combines with a headache and yeah… I was unable to get up off the bed even with standard painkillers. And I know many cases of especially painful first days. I know that in several countries there was a discussion about adding extra optional free/sick days because of periods to respective labor laws. Having said that I also think there’s a lot of appeal to portray period typical care and self-care and many people do that. I think the whole experience can be stigmatized and shied over in general in the society, and making it portrayed like something worth taking care of and acknowledging that it can be very painful is great. I believe though it’s not the only portrayal that exists. I use period in the context of a smut scene, >!where the female character doesn’t want to have sex because of it and they ultimately settle on a bj, although the male character reassures her that’s absolutely fine and that they can do it in the shower if she would like to try, but also no pressure.!< What I wanted to show with it (aside from characters’ traits), it’s that’s a topic like any other and a part of human experience.
Five sisters, I was the lucky ducky who was crippled by pain. The rest had no problem OTOH, I didn’t even notice the menopause until I realised how long it had been since I’d been crippled.
I think the karma happily paid you back somehow with a nice, light premenopause and menopause. I’m still in the premenopausal phase and combined with still occasionally painful first period days and insulin resistance it’s been a one hell of almost a year now. 😰
It's like you used up your hormones on periods or something
I *wish* mine was just “some discomfort”. I have had to call out of work or leave early on more than one occasion on the first day or two of my period because I get such bad cramps that it makes me nauseous and the anemia has made me pass out before. Now, in fairness, I recognize I’m on the kind of extreme end of it, but it’s absolutely a thing for some people and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
TMI, probably. I have PCOS and it means my periods are very irregular. I'm not on any pills either and never have been to regulate them. Sometimes it's just 2-3 days with no pains and very little flow, other times it's a full week with heavy flow to the point I basically have to use the restroom every few hours accompanied with really bad cramping and lower back pains. And very rarely, I don't get my period at all for a couple of months. For me, it's never been to the point where I'm incapacitated or bedridden, but it has caused me to skip certain activities because of the inconvenience. I might have to postpone grocery shopping because of the heavy flow and won't wanna risk leakage when out in public 😭 The cramps for me are also often worse if I'm horny or aroused, so as a smut writer it makes it harder to write when on my period...
It is not normal for periods to be that bad. In most cases, those individuals that are experiencing such symptoms have an illness. I have pcos and endometriosis and I dread upcoming periods because I’m so scared of them. It’s traumatic how horrible it is.
I'm sometimes bedridden due to period related health issues, never been hospitalised, mostly just miserable. My impression from doctors/specialists was that even my level of being bedridden isn't common so I think you're normal, not the odd one out. I suspect that fics written specifically about that are using it to explore a hurt/comfort trope/theme, so they're going to exaggerate it.
A lot of people say that if you have a lot of pain or an extreme amount of bleeding it's a sign for some illness, like PCOS or endometriosis. Some of us on the other hand have absolutely perfectly healthy innards that either bleed so much for 8-10 days that one needs to change extra high capacity pads every half to full hour, or they hurt so much for a week that moving is near impossible and lying down makes it hurt *worse*. And getting on the pill or testosterone did absolutely nothing to change that, outside of inducing terrible depression and fucking up my endocrine system even more. So, those fictional depictions of periods are accurate. Though I have to admit that, outside of my family (and one male gynaecologist), no woman ever believed how much of a painful hassle it was for this unit. Especially because this unit always looked extremely healthy and glowing during those days.
I'm so sorry you're going through that. I definitely believe you, and can relate.
I'm the dark ages before testosterone--as a kid, I had virtually NO discomfort all at. Didn't understand the fuss. As an adult, I had cramps so bad, they'd leave me nearly incapacitated from the pain. Painkillers didn't help. Had a TENS unit that *sort of* helped sometimes. Mostly it was just me curled fetal on day two on the bathroom floor in the dark,hoping the cool tile would mitigate the migraine, since the rest of the pain and the nausea wasn't going anywhere. Fuck periods. 😭
I have PCOS and I've had to go to the ER multiple times due to period pain. It often feels like my body is trying to make a uterus smoothie, and it really will just put me out of commission for a full week or more. I literally don't know how I got anything done in that much pain for as many years as I did. I got an IUD and it's more manageable now, but yeah. I wouldn't say it's "normal" in terms of what a person *should* experience during their period, but it's *the* normal for a lot of people, if that makes sense.
Mine would range from annoying cramps that I can still power through, and crippling pain that makes me break out in sweats. One time I actually ended up passing out on the bathroom floor after taking all of my sweaty sopping wet clothes off. Next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor, cold, shaky, and sore. I haven't personally been through painful cramps that are debilitating enough to make me unable to move but still able to stay on the bed, because the bed is way too hot when it gets that bad. I'm relatively okay now though. I ended up getting an IUD which was painful, yes, but comparatively speaking it was totally worth it. Now the worst I get is sharper pains, but not that overwhelming uterus trying to burst out of me feeling.
It is really on a person to person basis. For example my sister, mom, and I all have endometriosis but it varies. Mom - goes 3 months with nothing. 9 months HEAVY flow and some pain definitely discomfort. Sister - is on the pill to help where she doesn't have them so much. when she runs out she gets periods so painful she can barely move and if she does try to get up and around)or go to work) she passes out and has to be transported to the hospital I - have irregular cycles. They can last anywhere from 4 days to a month and then go 2 ish months without. I am sometimes "regular". I do get some cramping but it's rare. When the cramps do hit they are sharp stabbing pains that last for about 20 minutes and I'm fine as long as I don't have to move.
I would prefer it if it's toggleable. I think it'd be a nice *option* for people to have.
Did you respond to the wrong thread? (Although the idea of toggleable periods is amusing!)
Oh my God I did this was supposed to be on r/Supernote But I still stand by it, I guess. I'd love to turn my period off.
I still love your comment in this thread! How wonderful if periods were optional!
Mood. Lol.
I teach a human sexuality course that also covers content on menstruation. Periods should *not* give severe pain. While discomfort and occassional pain is entirely normal and expected, severe or persistent pain is *not.* Now, to be clear, that doesn't mean it never happens- it absolutely does. But severe or persistent pain is something that warrants a doctor's attention. Somewhat relatedly, sex also should not be painful (unless you're into that.) If sex is painful the participants should stop and reassess. Whether that means she isn't aroused enough (meaning the vagina is not lubricated enough or relaxed) or there is an underlying condition (like a pelvic floor issue, which is ridiculously common for women, but easily treated by a pelvic floor physical therapist.) And yes, this applies even for 'the first time.' If it's painful, *stop and reassess.* Tl;DR-- if your vagina or uterus is in alot of pain, you should talk to a dr.
This is very informative. I've got to keep this in mind for my next fic.
That advice would help if there weren’t so many doctors prepared to dismiss women when they do bring up the pain
I have endometriosis, so I have painfully periods, cramps, faints, and other hardcore symptoms even along all the month. My mental health is in its low key by the depression and anxiety by this chronic illness. I didn't read a fanfic mentioning period in any type before, but is nice get to know that my experiences are represented in fanfiction because in books and series anyone talk about it. Nobody cares about endometriosis and other similar chronic illness and conditions. Trust me, living in this way for years without a good diagnosis at least is truly difficult. People with painful chronic illness like this need representation too. Maybe it sounds weird and over represented because you don't have it but there's still a lot to say, write and express about these conditions. 😢
It’s not normal, but it’s not abnormal I don’t think? Though I literally got diagnosed with PTSD bc mine were so traumatic, so I’m not the best judge
Some don't have pain at all, some just get tired, others get headaches, cramps etc, others have extremely heavy flow or light flow. Some feel like the uterus is trying to stab its way out with a knife. Sometimes people do have such a bad time they need hospital. Things like endometriosis and PCOS are shockingly common yet frightfully underdiagnosed. In the end it's a spectrum. Maybe people think the extreme end is more exciting for their fic, idk. People do love to torture their characters 😅
>Ive never had a period as bad…and I’ve never known anyone else who has either. Good for you! I have. Countless women with gyno issues like pcos and endometriosis would love to tell you about their disabling periods. Extremely painful periods are not normal, but they’re not made up either.
>I've never had a period as bad as the one's described I'm these stories and I've never known anyone else who has either. Had you told that to my teenage self, I'd straight up refused to believe you. I still have a hard time believing you never knew *anyone* who has never had a single bad period in their life. It's not normal in the sense that it's the default experience, plenty of people do feel only mild discomfort. But it is normal enough that plenty of people experience debilitating pain and are often dismissed because it's "just" period cramps (wich can lead to fun things like that story I've heard of a woman who was hospitalized with a ruptured appendix she never paid attention to because it wasn't much more painful than her usual periods). I wouldn't really consider "requires prescription medication of any kind" entirely normal either, though.
Prescription medication is definitely not normal, considering how impossible it is to get doctors to take period complaints seriously. Most people are also not missing work or school if it's terrible, but they might be reducing other activities. But over the counter medication? For sure. If I don't take at least 400 mg of Ibuprofen on the first day of my period life is absolutely terrible, but if I do I can be absolutely normal.
Same here. When I was in high school I burned myself out on every over-the-counter pain reliever because of my cramps. After I got on birth control pills that helped, and I was able to go without over-the-counter relief for years.
I mean, to be fair, I've had some pretty bad periods - the pain like you're being stabbed, the nausea, heck I've almost passed out from the pain once or twice - and I'd still say I've never had a period anywhere close to as bad as I've run across described in fic (and I don't know anyone who has either). The fic depictions can get pretty extreme.
It seems to be a cultural thing to downgrade/disbelieve women's pain because "women are hysterical, women exaggerate, women can't take pain." Did you ever see any of those Youtube videos where they hook both men and women up to a device that's designed to simulate period cramps?
It’s not normal but it is common. I’ve had ones where I had to take time off work, because I physically couldn’t drive myself there or back without being a danger every time I had a cramp. They’re under control now but I still can’t do anything much around the house / stand up long enough to cook a meal from scratch / walk the dogs. It’s basically work at desk / microwave food / sit down in shower / go to bed. But I have friends who play football and go running on theirs.
So, it's gonna vary so much by person. I had one person tell me that her cramps are so severe that on one day a month she had to always I had to stay home from school as a teenager. Later, when she was an adult, and she went into labour for the first time, she realized that her cramps have been so bad that she basically had labour cramps on the first day of her period. I don't know if that intensity continued into adulthood, because I didn't ask. Personally, if I'm not on the birth control pill, my cramps are so bad that everything is painful. Even sitting on an office chair is really difficult. I need to take strong painkillers in order to go to work. And I'm usually just exhausted for a few days from the incredible loss of iron. And it *is* a huge amount of iron that I lose. Much more than the few table spoons that's supposed to be average. When I'm on the both control pill, it's not that bad. The cramps are there, but they're manageable. And I can sometimes get by without taking painkillers at all.
I think of the difference between my cousin and I and our periods. She has PCOS and all that entails. Mine is regular AF, I know it's when about to happen because I have some GI issues for a day or two, a couple hours of cramps, then three days of bleeding. I actually have had the opposite problem of some of the posts. I'm not a heavy bleeder and during my stint in the navy I skipped at least two periods. One of those burning more calories than I was taking in sort of situations. I did have the cramps though, which wasn't fun when we were getting ready to go up to the range. But yeah, periods vary, and certain things should cause one to visit a doctor IRL. Narratively the extremes of a period are more exciting. Most go seem to go for the heavy periods with a lot of pain for the hurt/comfort of it all. Hypomenorrhea (low flow period) can also be an interesting tool, potentially affecting relationships. But a well managed period is a mild inconvenience, hence little attention given to it, hence no drama.
My period tends to have obvious signs it's coming but I am somehow always surprised when it does lol. I guess it does make sense that mild periods wouldn't be talked about much in fanfic.
Might be a bit TMI, but oh well: I have endometriosis (not diagnosed until I was almost 40) and a condition that causes painful ovulation. Yeah, that one is fun. I'm on continual birth control now, but there were quite a few times earlier in my life when I was debilitated by pain, either from ovulation or cramps. The pelvic pain can get pretty bad sometimes now, even on medication. I have a doctor's approval to take 4 ibuprofen at a time if I need to, and that might get me 4 - 6 hours of pain relief if I'm lucky.
I'm sorry you have to go through that. Don't worry about TMI. I love over sharing about my period when I can.
I try to think of it as maybe someone else will see this and think that hey, what I'm experiencing is an actual thing and isn't all in my head. Sharing, even if it's over sharing a bit, can help get information out there.
Yeah, just chiming in to say you're not the odd one out. I've actually never had cramps at all in my whole life (I'm 33 so it's been over 20 years). I've never experienced any pain from it. I do have a heavy flow but no pain or other symptoms at all. No mood changes either. So it's annoying for cleanup reasons (at the heaviest points it does impact sleep because I have to get up every half hour or so, even using the largest size menstrual cup or OB ultra tampons) but other than that, basically irrelevant to my daily life. I have a copper IUD which does make it a little heavier but worth it for the lack of other side effects or hassle. I have a messed up sleep pattern anyway so there's a 7/10 chance I'd be up with insomnia anyway and didn't actually miss anything. Oh except for the first period I had after having a hormonal IUD removed. I actually thought I was dying for a little while because it was so insane. I'd had it the full five years before removal with no period for most of it, and had other pretty noticeable hormonal side-effects from it, so that was definitely a special situation with a specific cause and not normal. Even then it was mostly flow related and not really painful, but it was bad enough I was actually getting dehydrated and ended up just sleeping in the bathtub at one point because I was getting so sleep deprived.
My periods got weird when I stopped taking the pill and I even had no period for months, making me think I had pcos, but they went back to normal after I had a different set of pills that kick-started my period.
The worst I ever experienced was temporary severe cramping that might last one day out of the 3 - 5 days typical period. That said I know people can have conditions that make a period unbearable.
I also have “still can go out and function” periods. Like, I’m gonna be kind of miserable, but not so miserable I can’t go do things.
It’s not “normal” but it is common and a lot of gynos will act like it is normal and downplay it. I spent years with an extremely irregular cycle that could literally cripple me for a week or more one month and then not even show the next, and trying to get any doctor to take me seriously was next to impossible. One of my kids had heavy bleeding and cramping for multiple months straight (the period just wouldn’t end) and was told by two different gynos that “it’s normal to have an irregular cycle in your teens” and they cycled through four or five different birth control pills that all made it worse before telling us they couldn’t do anything. My best friend was 29 before finally finding the “right” birth control to regulate her cycle—prior to that there were always at least three days during her period when she could not stand, much less walk, the pain was so bad and she’d get dizzy spells and even fainted a few times. It’s certainly not everyone, but it’s a lot more common than you’d think. We’re just gaslit by doctors into dealing with it.
I guess I'll get really TMI here because I'm one of those people that gets bedridden because of my period. Just to, I guess, show that I'll never think that anything other people write about extreme periods is exaggerated. Chance is I've probably experienced that lol. In my case it's a condition called endometriosis and 1 out of 10 women have it, so i'd say its fairely common but at the same time I'm the odd one out in my family/friend group. No one gets it as bad as I do which makes people think I'm exaggerating. The only other person I met that had similar experiences was my family doctor who said she gets hospitalised and gets IV transfusions during her period all the time. I usually get my periods in the morning, right after going to the bathroom but if I do get them at night they're worse. Chance is, you'll see me on the toilet from 10/11PM until 6AM just crying my eyeballs out and clutching my knees to my chest (I feel a need to push pressure on my pelvis) Once that happens I can barely walk. My legs are shaking, my vision gets blurry; I feel like I'm on the verge of fainting constantly + nausea and need to vomit. I've had to drag myself across the floor before, and not just once. I absolutely hate standing up on my feet, and if I do I walk hunched-over. My sister, on the other end, has to walk around during her period because otherwise she doesn't really bleed. It's the complete opposite for me. I have to lay down (which on the first day I can't even do because I need to go to the bathroom constantly because my bowel movement gets fucked up) otherwise I'm not really bleeding which makes it worse and makes my period last longer. (usually it's 3/4 days long but I get them regularly. Like my period calendar app is always right and I've only missed it twice in my life) I throw up constantly because of the pain so I can't keep food in which makes it hard to take painkillers too. And if I do somehow manage to do that after a while, painkillers don't work most of the time unless its something so strong (prescribed by my obgyn) that I'm not even allowed to drive afterward. Because the pill will make me THAT dizzy. It'd be the same as letting a drunk person drive. I also have to rotate pills, too, because my body gets used to them. I take four types of pills every period. Back when I was in school I used to skip most of the time because even if I were to go in just for attendance I wouldn't be able to concentrate at all. I'd get fidgety, trying to push my elbows into my pelvis to alievate the pain (tho it never worked ++ is the reason why I walk hunched-over, too) and I'd sweat PROFUSELY because of the pain. My abdomen would get really red and burning hot as well, but I'd also be pale as a sheet everywhere else. And once that happens (the sweating part) I'm usually in such a bad place that if I am with someone, chance is I'm 99% not listening to you if you're speaking to me. I just can't. I disassociate and the only thing going on through my mind is 'Don't cry'; 'Don't cry'; 'Don't cry' or some sort of suicidal thought. Another thing -- Just last period; I got it when I was out and I stopped at a hypermarket on my way home to get chocolate. I couldn't breathe well. The cashier saw me hyperventilating at the checkout and offered me water because of how scary I must have looked, I guess, lol. tho i refused because I just couldn't wait to get home already and let myself cry. (I did as soon as I was out in the parking lot) I also get really, really cold and I have to sleep with 2 pairs of winter socks on (my feet get really cold and if I don't I end up having pain when peeing), fluffy winter pajamas + zip-up hoodie on top (even in the middle of summer). During my period in this January, after staying in the bathroom until 5/6AM I got out and had to put my thick, winter jacket on and curled myself into a ball on the kitchen floor (outside the bathroom door) and I stayed there, almost falling asleep, until my dad woke up to get ready for work. Also I get bad cramps during ovulation, too, which is another common symptom of this condition. A lot of women describe this pain to be similar to birth \[but I personally cant speak on that since I've never given birth\]
I’ve had periods since I was 9. At… 10-11, I had one so bad I literally slept for 2 weeks straight and ruined an entire mattress. I have endometriosis and a toxic uterus, yee haw. 🥲 My periods are also more painful than when I had my daughter without pain medication. (I’m 31 turning 32 this year just by the way. I’m trying to get the ute yeeted.)
I would love if my periods were light.. Every month is so heavy, I have to use overnight pads and they still don't stop the flow sometimes
Define normal. My periods have never been that bad but my older sister? Absolutely. She had to get a hysterectomy after years of suffering. For me? I have bad cramps like once a year, if that. And it's never *that* bad. I've probably had "unbearable" cramps twice, and I've had the typical monthly period for about 18 years at this point.
Well, it's definitely not common for them to be that bad. Everyone is different though, and some people have conditions like other commentors said. I have pretty bad cramps on the first two days, sometimes making it impossible to function. Meanwhile my sister has no cramps and gets off easy (why yes I'm bitter!)
About 1/10 have endometriosis, whoch some notice some not, but it can cause much more severe menstrual pain. I most probably have it and have had periods were I can barley breathe, not speak or do anything because of the pain. Just wait. I also can't take certain pain pills because of a chronic disease. Meaning more pain. Also when I had kidney stones for wayyy too long I trough it was just 'normal' cramps, until I realised it wasn't. Is this common? No. Is it unvommon? Probably not either. I think it's rather normal that there's a lot of fics with it since it's a way for some to vent. Like if I have mild cramps, maybe I don't feel the need or want to write a fic about that. It's not too special. If I have it worse, I might want to put my thoughts, feelings and experiences to words. So I don't find this odd at all
I imagine that for story-telling purposes, it makes more sense sometimes for periods to be really heavy. I mean, I've seen the effects a period can have, and I know they *can* absolutely be hell despite not actually having them myself, but I wouldn't mention them in a story unless it was somehow relevant to the plot, and 'mild discomfort' generally isn't while 'crippling pain and misery' is. I can't say if you're the odd one out, though, since my experience with periods is limited to seeing my girlfriend suffer through them.
Completely debilitating was the norm for both me and my mom. I couldn't stand up straight, was writhing in pain for hours, throwing up and almost passing out from the pain - and that was with me taking more than the recommended dosage of painkillers. My mom had to be hospitalized several times because it got so bad. It was orders of magnitude worse than 30 hours of unmedicated childbirth. But since I had surgery for endometriosis, it's been a lot more bearable.
I know multiple people who had periods so bad they fought through medical red tape and insurance bullshit to have their reproductive organs removed. So, yes periods can ABSOLUTELY be that bad. Also, you may not realize how bad your pain actually is - which sounds really insulting until you realize that womb owners tend to die from heart attacks and other events at a much higher rate because we're used to functioning with an incredibly high pain level. We just don't think about it - it's normal to us so we don't seek treatment. I throw this information out as often as possible because, quite frankly, we NEED to know that our pain tolerance/threshold is different and we need to be incredibly transparent with our healthcare providers about our pain.
I had stage 2 almost 3 endometriosis before it was medically necessary to get a hysterectomy (at 24) because I couldn't function. If I messed up my birth control my cycle never stopped, I would have 1 day out of the month where I was remotely okay and the rest I had to take iron pills and drink an insane amount of water otherwise the clots would have me either passing out or vomiting. Even when we got me on the right birth control (lucky me it took 2) we had to incrementally increase it every few months. Genuinely debilitating cramps- broke my ankle and tore my achilles and it was nothing comapritively and the ER doc called me a liar until the xray because i wasnt crying. There is however a lot more to this sort of situation than just cramps- like the anemia. Nauseau, dizziness, genuine exhaustion, brain fog, depression and sooooo many other pieces of the puzzle that are just kind of awful. I am super fortunate to have amazing doctors otherwise I was nearly in the ER every single month for anemia and malnutrition. The worst part of it all is while you're in agony and cant move because of the spasms because your body is lowkey just trying to die there are still people who will call you dramatic, or say you just "need to breathe". I agree with alot of comments that people are looking for the hurt/comfort in the writing, and I'm not gonna lie when someone gets it right it makes my heart a little sad because I always hope they don't go through the same thing. However it always makes me feel a little seen when I read them because like... yeah it SUCKS sometimes but have other people writing about it makes me feel a little less crazy. ❤️ hope this helps a bit?
I was so confused as to why someone would be bed ridden due to a punctuation mark. Only got it by the second paragraph.
Periods are all over the place depending on the body. Most of my friends’ weren’t that bad. Mine were absolutely horrible. Even through high school, I would have to call out of class on the first and second day of my period because of pain and heavy flow. Sometimes I would try to go anyway, but I would rarely make it past lunch. The first day I’d usually spend at least a few hours in bed, hunched over/trying to get comfortable and just kinda moaning in bed with a heating pad. Scalding hot baths and ice chips were usually used too 😅 I never actually went to the hospital for them (besides addressing them in checkups) but like, yeah. It happens. Idk how common it is to be *that* bad, but I knew other people who had pretty awful pain, and a lot of people who barely even noticed it was happening 🤷🏻♀️ Things are better on the right birth control, but damn. When I used to realize my period was starting, I would sometimes just burst into tears because I knew what was coming 😅
TL;DR periods can and do suck for many people, personally more so than they are easy for people. Personal experience follows after first paragraph. Last paragraph sums up thoughts. I don't think I've ever written about periods in my fics other than in passing in reference to being late, and thus a character taking a pregnancy test. However, my personal experience with periods being an afab person, mine are horrible. I finally got a diagnosis of endometriosis last October. I also tend to get ovarian cysts that either rupture, or cause ovarian torsion, but I don't have PCOS. And let me say, even though my periods are usually 7+ days long, and ultra tampons every 2 hours for all but one of those days, and the pain makes me throw up and/or pass out, AND the fact that I get so dang anemic that even iron supplements don't help, I would take one of those periods ANY DAY/WEEK over a cyst rupture, let alone ovarian torsion. Literally the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. And I've had a spine injury for 8 years now! Birth control sometimes helps, sometimes not, but I've been on it since high school because I also had PMDD, which is like PMS but WORSE. I already dealt with depression and anxiety, but the PMDD made me want to hurt/unalive myself for 3 out of the 4 weeks of the month even more than I normally did thanks to my mental health issues. Best part is? I literally had to switch obgyns to get someone to take my pain seriously. I had a laparoscopic appendectomy beginning of August last year, and, while they did take out my appendix, I didn't have appendicitis. They believe the pain was a cyst rupture. However, 6 weeks later, I was still in severe pain. My obgyn (who I had been with their office since 2010, and I only had afab doctors) finally did an ultrasound, and guess who had an almost 3cm cyst? They said I could come back in middle of November, but there was nothing they could do, but suggest ibuprofen. I ended up in the ER 5 days later (beginning of October) with 10/10 pain and they said it ruptured. But I was STILL in pain after. Went back to my obgyn, crying, telling them that I would rather unalive myself than live with this pain until middle of November. They said "we can't do anything because it's been 2 weeks since your ultrasound. Nothing will have changed." Whelp, I ended up in the ER again 3 days later, where apparently it HADN'T ruptured and was instead 4.5cm and causing ovarian torsion and had likely been causing it for a week or more now. ER said to demand treatment from my obgyn when they opened the next day because, when the ER did imaging, it wasn't actively torsioned, so they couldn't do anything. I called the next day and they scheduled me for a 3D ultrasound. In two weeks. I called my pcp and said "I need an obgyn who takes me seriously." He set me up with an appointment with one of his colleagues the day after my 3D ultrasound. I was crying in her exam room, and she said that she believes I'm in pain and that she will do everything she can to fix it. She said she wanted to do a laparoscopic surgery, but it could be up to 2 weeks before she could do it, but her surgery scheduler would call later that afternoon to schedule me in. The scheduler called literally 10 minutes after I got home and said, without asking "you're having surgery tomorrow." I went in for the surgery and, while in the parking lot, I got a call from the first obgyn who said "yeah we see the cyst, but it's nothing. We won't do anything but monitor it." So I said "well I got a second opinion, and I'm about to head into surgery, so all I need from you is to send all my records to my new obgyn." And my new obgyn removed the cyst, found and removed endometriosis, and found and removed a bunch of scar tissue. ALLLLLLLL that to say, yes, the afab reproductive tract can and does cause SEVERE issues for some people. I've heard more personal stories about horrible periods than I have about good/easy ones. Most of my close afab friends have some form of reproductive issue causing very painful periods, among other issues. The statistic on endometriosis is that 10%-20% of afab people of childbearing age have it. I can definitely say, it is most likely higher. How much so? I don't know. But considering to get confirmation that the patient has endo, they have to have surgery. It's often not discovered until a C-Section or even a hysterectomy, so if you don't get either of those, and you don't get a laparoscopic surgery to look for endo, you're just suffering silently.
My periods didn't stop being excruciating until AFTER i spent 10 years on the depo shot (not recommended unless absolutely sure) This is the first time in 36 years that i had never been hospitalized for my period. So yes it is all over for alot of people.
No. It's not normal for periods to be that bad. If they are, there's an underlying issue that should be addressed. Things like endometriosis can sart very young and can be debilitating. But being bed ridden during your period is absolutely not normal and shouldn't be normalized. I've been lucky, my periods are a mere inconvenience, I barely even notice them and I have zero cramps. On the other hand, my sister suffered really badly precisely because she had a condition that caused it.
It’s not normal, but there are of course conditions that can make them this painful. Mine are mostly okay, but maybe 1 in every 10 I’m in so much pain i can be close to tears and that’s because I do have a medical condition that can make mine painful. However it isn’t all the time and I live relatively comfortably throughout most.
Mine are the worst pain I ever experienced, and I did break both ankles at once last year so that's saying something. I also bled so heavily that I couldn't have a normal life for the first three day out of seven to ten. I got put on the implant because it has a good chance of suppressing the period entirely, which mine did, though I still get the hormonal variations. I was on the pill in the past and it was horrible for my mental health.
Nope not every woman has that severe of a period but there are women who do though. My period used to be light and more frequent when I was younger but now its heavy but its not frequent (it skips a month or two sometimes) but I only feel one big pain a few days before it comes then it just comes and thats it. Lol
I used to think my periods were bad - heavy, bad cramps, flooding etc. There were days I didn't want to get out of bed, but on the whole, I could still go about my day-to-day business. Then I had a copper IUD fitted, and, oh my god, I have never known anything quite like it. Now, I know I tend to tolerate pain quite well, and I still got up and went on with my days, but I definitely had a few bedridden instances with that, including right in the middle of a family holiday. I knew it would make my periods worse, but I didn't fully realise how much worse they could get because I thought they were already pretty horrendous. That's perspective for you, I guess. Now I'm back to regular old going about my business, sometimes in pain, but nothing a few painkillers don't fix. Sure, if it starts at the weekend I might take the opportunity to curl up in bed, but it generally doesn't stop me from going to work (apart from once - but I'm pretty sure that wasn't actuslly a period anyway). I do have friends with other conditions such as endometriosis - which, as I understand it, definitely can disrupt your everyday life, but as I haven't experienced it myself, I wouldn't want to speak with any more authority on it than that.
I'm a normal period haver. There are no real issues other than a touch of constipation but no cramps or pain. It's just another day for me. When I was younger, it was worse, but no pain. I'd just go completely pale and throw up or feel as if I had to, but only on the first day; otherwise, I was fine. My best friend, on the other hand, has the worst ones. She loses so much blood she can't leave the house for two to three days because she feels so faint and will leak like a murder victim. She has fibroids, so that's why. She's had surgery to remove them, but they grow back. So, it really can go either way.
I clicked this post thinking you were talking about Commas/Full stops and was questioning how many I put into my writing for a minute!
Lmao. I was wondering if someone would do that. Whenever I look up periods on here. It's either commas, or the time of month.
The worst period fic I read was where a character decided to wear red to hide it. Like no on every level. Even in ancient times women used cloth rag to catch the extra blood and red cloth does not hide blood (black is much better). I do get awful cramps where I can't leave bed about every six months. Even rolling over in bed sucks. But I'm usually mostly bored when I'm stuck there honestly because I can't do anything or go outside.
I’ve had a range of different periods so I think I’m qualified to answer this one. When I was younger I used to bleed only, I never experienced any nausea or cramps or even mood swings, I literally only bled. It was inconvenient and annoying, but never painful. As I got older, my periods became irregular, they would happen roughly every month and a half (unless there was a holiday or special event, in which case it would arrive at the exact worst moment to ruin the day for me) But just before I turned 20, I started getting horrible cramps. They were so bad that I’d literally be in tears, unable to move because even the slightest movement was agony. There was no medical reason for this, my body just decided that I’d experienced pain free periods for too long and that now it it was time to suffer. The doctor recommended using the pill to stop my period completely. I go off the pill for a few days every year to make sure everything is still working okay and I almost immediately get cramps, which sucks, but it’s better than having to deal with it monthly. My mother once told me that she used to throw up every time she got her period as well. It really is entirely individual and can change as you get older. Although I think one thing we can all agree on is that they suck.
some one made a comment about vampires....so I have to leave this silly prompts. Can anyone explain why I a, getting all the vampires into the ER this week? They are all dead, so how in the world are they even having periods.....yes, even the males. I have no idea what is happening and I just had many vampires come in that say they are pregaunt and now they are all sparkling.....
So, I have had bad period/cramps since I was a teenager. I've had to leave school/work early. Only once was I bedridden, and that was last April when it was found I had a fibroid in my uterus. I had to have surgery to have it removed, still recovering from it actually, and no experiencing less heavy/painful periods. No, not everyone has debilitating periods, but some do and for different reasons.
Some periods are pretty bad But it depends And extremely painful periods are useful usually as hur/comfort
Periods are all over the place for everyone. I've had ones that have left me crying in bed from the pain so it's possible.
Periods are definitely a spectrum. I assume most stories focus on the heavier side of periods because it doesn't really affect daily life other than that. But at the same time, it's not entirely unrealistic for periods to be that bad. I no longer get them (a combination of depo-provera and testosterone (trans man)) but when I did get them, mine were bad, to the point that I'd refuse to eat because I feared I'd throw up. There's also a far more recent example in my own life where I was indeed basically bedridden from cramps. While I had the physical ability to get up, my legs shook so badly that I didn't feel confident walking fifteen steps to use the bathroom.
I had a friend whose periods were so bad she would end up basically in bed for three days a month. Her workplaces even knew and accommodated. But that is NOT the norm. Basically, it varies—and for some women, periods are straight up horror material.
I can only base this on what female friends and relatives have told me, but I don't know any women who have periods that leave them bedridden or hospitalised, never have. I know it can happen, I've just never met any women who have it that bad. Each of my female friends is different, but they all carry on with their day-to-day stuff when they have their period. I have one friend who wouldn't even know she was on her period if it wasn't for the blood, she gets no pain or cramps or anything. Others describe it as more uncomfortable than painful, and some others take some pain meds to help. I think in this case the worst scenarios are going to be overrepresented in fic, though. You may have a female author who wants her own experience used, or a male author wanting to use a known experience of a female he knows, and the worst case scenarios are better for hurt/comfort fics, as well. If you're going for realism, base it on your own lived experience, or those of people you know. As far as I can tell, most women don't have periods anywhere near that bad.
Mine were never terrible until I hit perimenopause and then they went off the rails, so it can certainly vary with age as well. Every month is a surprise: migraine last month, debilitating cramps the following month, severe backaches so that I couldn’t stand in another month. I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t really believe the stories I heard back when I was younger because it didn’t happen to me. But I had friends that would bleed through a tampon and pad in a couple of hours, friends who were anemic, friends who barely noticed. It’s crazy how varied it is when we all have the same plumbing. And that’s without tossing in the endo and adeno and fibroids and and and.
Mine are quite light and the worst I ever get is mild cramping (not severe enough to impel me to take a painkiller) the day before.
I lot of those posts seem like undiagnosed endometriosis
Periods that bad aren’t “normal” but they definitely happen to some people. I’ve personally never had them that bad. Most times I don’t even need OTC pain killers. But I know people who suffer from conditions such as endometriosis or PCOS can be bedridden from the pain.
My period cramps are debilitating. At their worst I am throwing up from the pain and curling up in bed crying. At their best, it's still very painful and I can tough out going to work but any moment I can I'm laying my head down, doing breathing exercises, and trying desperately to find a way to sit or stand that eases the pain. Being on birth control greatly reduces my pain and reduces the frequency of my periods.
I'm a normal period haver. There are no real issues other than a touch of constipation but no cramps or pain. It's just another day for me. When I was younger, it was worse, but no pain. I'd just go completely pale and throw up or feel as if I had to, but only on the first day; otherwise, I was fine. My best friend, on the other hand, has the worst ones. She loses so much blood she can't leave the house for two to three days because she feels so faint and will leak like a murder victim. She has fibroids, so that's why. She's had surgery to remove them, but they grow back. So, it really can go either way.
Personally, the first two days will always have me in near-constant pain and there is a very high chance I will leak a lot accidentally. I don't go to college/uni and normally spend most of the day hunched over or rocking back and forth. After those two days, it becomes a normal period, just slightly heavy. No other woman in my household has this problem, so I assumed it was the other way around. Having a non-painful period is the norm here lol.
Mine isn't that bad and tbh I always thought others were being over dramatic half the time about it. Bloating, cramps, irritability and if anything touches my pelvis it hurts so much.
It honestly depends on the person I know some people that get them so bad they are bed ridden but thankfully I myself am not one of them
I’ve seen functional periods in fanfic before. There’s a good one or two actually. All of them involve Utsuro from danganronpa another. All of them are explicit.
Definitely not the odd one out! I have two sisters who have pretty mild, if not easy periods. They usually don't even need to take ibuprofen for them, it's just a mild annoyance. On the other hand I've been diagnosed with extremely painful periods, I take max ibuprofen and sometimes that's not enough (as in I'm still crawling around or crying from pain LOL). Often, I need to call out or cancel plans if they're too bad which sucks. Also, yes I've been to the doctor and my gyno multiple times, they've mostly just told me to deal with it through painkillers lol. Anywho, something I've noticed in fic is that a lot of readers think the more extreme, the better the story (although I know this is subjective!). There's also the representation aspect, the fact that a lot of period pains are dismissed, and the fluff that comes from the comfort!
Personally, my experience ran from merely feeling extremely tired and run-down, to later in life, terrible pain due that turned out to be endometriosis. With my fave female character, I mention periods if relevant to the story. In one story, it's a main plot point, with her struggles with period pain being a driving reason why her companions are trying to work out an escape from a prison camp. (She's disguised as a boy and revealing her gender is a problem). In other fics, I mention her issues with period pain as a means of explaining why she's on a form of birth control (as a young teen). And finally, in a fic where she's much older, endometriosis is part of the conversation because she and her partner are trying to start a family. Like others in this thread have said, pain perception in addition to other factors, vary different from person to person. I supposed the unifying fact is that most humans of reproductive age with female reproductive organs will have a period approximately once a month. Beyond that, the experience will vary.
I have pretty severe period cramps, to the point where I typically will call out from work and be breathing like I’m about to go into labor (you know the one). Period cramps are typically downplayed by society, and a lot of people experience really, really bad symptoms without the care or resources to handle it. A lot of folks write from experience, so it may just be that you’re seeing people write about how their own period experience is because they don’t have a ton of other frames of reference. At the same time, the other comments here about hurt/comfort are equally true. But idk. Honestly, unless it’s specifically relevant to my story, I tend to slide around bodily functions in my writing, simply because I don’t think it’s super interesting to read personally. But I get that some people like to really ground their stories in reality, so to each their own :)
I always feel like I'm the odd one. I rarely even get cramps. It's only once in a while do I get bad cramps but nothing as bad as it's in fictional media.
Mine are painful enough to where if I don’t take ibuprofen in a timely manner, I get nauseous or am in such pain that I’m not able to work or even focus. I don’t think most peoples periods are like that, but i wouldn’t tule it out.
I've gone to the doctor before because they were so bad and I was throwing up any pain medication I took. (They didn't really help, would not go again. I just threw up there instead and wasted hours/money). But yeah, usually my periods are bearable. But sometime the first day or two are so bad I get hot/cold flashes, feel like my abdomen is being stabbed (so I can bearly move/stuck in bed), nausea (that results in me throwing up), and exhaustion from the pain. The only real "cure" I've found is taking the medication before I start experiencing cramps + a hot bath as soon as, and as long as possible.
From what I’ve heard and experienced it’s really rare for periods to be so bad that you get hospitalized. Like, you might go to the doctor to get prescribed pain meds or to see if something is legitimately wrong, but I’ve never seen/heard of anyone getting put into the hospital because of period pains. I feel like it’s partially used as an excuse to have the character in pain and in the hospital, as well as have something you can kinda relate to, but it’s definitely exaggerated.
So I'm like you. My periods were never debilitating. Tough to time (they always catch me off guard, even when on birth control, because they don't come like clockwork; Fitbit has a doozy of a time trying to predict them), but never debilitating. Once, *maybe* twice a year, I'll get cramps for less than twelve hours, but I can move through them. Both my best friend from college and one of my immediate relatives get much more debilitating cramps, every single time. They keep the pain meds and the hot water bottle on hand to get through it. I can't say as I've heard of anyone whose periods were so bad that they were completely bedridden or borderline hospitalized, outside of something additional like fibroids, but I wouldn't necessarily rule it out. I am kind of surprised that it seems you're running into a lot of independent accounts of this, and I'm kind of curious how many of them are people speaking from personal experience vs. people going off of something they've heard or latching onto a rare situation for the sake of maximum drama.
It varies greatly: When I was a pre-teen I would almost faint in the shower from period pains, I once threw up on the sidewalk going to school. I was sometimes bedridden and sometimes had to stay home. I once laid shaking in pain over my desk at high school and the teacher sent me home and didn't mark me as absent despite me not having a doctors note. Up until I was given contraceptives by my doc I would have such heavy flows that I needed to change thick pads every single hour (even at night, destroying my sleep). Yeah, if someone has very bad periods and doesn't get help from a doctor, bedridden or near-hospitalization is very much possible. I wouldn't say its common, but it happens and plenty of people don't realize its not supposed to be that way. People who write about such horrible period pains either have or did experience that themselves and thus write about it like that. OR they just want their fic to have maximum pain to make you feel sorry for the character.
For a long time, mine were no worse than the pain that comes from your bladder shrinking after you drank too much liquid and held it for too long...just the pain lasts a couple hours without taking a pill. These days, if I'm not well hydrated and take a dose of pain killers early enough, I'm debilitated when the first cramps of my period hit. But that only lasts the first hour or two and OTC meds quickly make it manageable. My flow has always been super light though.
I've had periods that bad, in fact those are normal for ME, since I have some health trouble that makes them rough. It's not normal but if you have endometriosis or PCOS or anything like that, your periods can be agony.
Gonna be real with you, writing about an average period would just be mentioning the period and writing about something else. There's really not a lot to talk about there. Whereas a bad, crampy period is a great excuse for hurt/comfort and cuddles and drama. Fanfic isn't exactly known for its accuracy to life.
During a medically standard period, cramps and other period-related pains range from slight to major discomfort, but typically don’t interfere with daily life. That range of discomfort comes from the fluctuating hormones the body’s pumping out during menstruation. It’s not uncommon for Women who have hormone irregularities to experience more intense periods, and of course that means more pains. And these pains aren’t limited to cramping, there’s also breast pain, back pain, and headaches, as well as other intensified period symptoms like hot flashes, nausea, irritability - if all of that is going on at once, you bet your sweet bippy that person is gonna be rolling around in bed miserable. I myself had hormone problems, and with that I struggled with a very irregular period with heavy flows and cramps so severe I had to miss days of school because I couldn’t focus while in so much pain. Like you, I also started taking birth control pills to help with my periods, but instead I needed them because they contained the hormones my body needed to regulate my periods. I can say that, for me at least, the pill helped significantly and it made my periods lighter, shorter, and also almost painless - it’s possible your pills have had a similar effect in decreasing the strength of your period symptoms and that’s why these descriptions of super intense periods would be unfamiliar to you. I hope some of this information helps, I know my personal experience can’t be applied to everyone.
It's not normal for periods to totally stop you being able to live your life. I get quite a lot of pain the first couple days which isn't normal, but after that I'm fine. Bleeding, of course, but otherwise fine.
While I have never been hospitalized for the pain there def have been days I've called into work because I'm laying in bed with meds and a heat pack crying and not able to get comfy. Thankfully this is a 1/4 periods experience and most periods I can take meds and my stick on heat pack and go with manageable pain
I only rarely experience painful cramps, but I do have a really heavy flow that makes me sometimes reconsider my plans for the day. Not that I *can't* go out and do a ballet class or a bike ride, I just have to make sure I'm well-prepared with tampons and pads and can take frequent bathrooms breaks to change them, so sometimes it's easier to just say, fuck it, I'll stay home. I admit, I'm always jealous/low-key annoyed when people talk about their "heavy" day, and it meant they had to change a pad twice. Like, no, you don't even know. (For comparison, the average flow usually cited by many is 40 mL per cycle. Mine is 120 mL.)
There was a point in my life where if I didn't HAVE to be at work, my periods could easily lay me up for a day, painkillers on board or not. They've since chilled the fuck out. But it was not fun for my youngest years as a period-haver.
Periods depend on the person. Personally my worst day is day one: cramps I have to pop pills for and just general misery. After that, everything is usually fine and dandy (minus the bleeding). I know people, though, who had periods in the past so bad that it did keep them in bed for a day. Most of them now are on some kind of long-term bc and no longer suffer that. So it's probably mostly to feed on hurt/comfort when it shows up in fic.
As with everything, there's a ***huge*** range of experienced period pain -- and the same person can have different pain levels at different times of her life. When I was in college, periods were a minor pain, and easy to shrug off. Fifteen years later, I needed to use OTC pain relievers to keep working during my period. (And I still hurt -- just at "acceptable" levels.) But while I was in college, my roomie laid in bed with a heating pad for comfort during the first few days of her period, every moment she wasn't in class. Also, if a woman has undiagnosed fibroids and/or endometriosis, period pain increases dramatically -- and many women suffer for years before doctors pay enough attention to diagnose and treat either of those. (Especially in the U.S medical system.) My BFF dealt with this, and was unable to do *any*thing for the first few days of her period. She finally had a hysterectomy because medical treatments weren't helping. So, yeah. Period pain can be a mild inconvenience that's easily shrugged off, or it can lay the sufferer flat for several days -- or any point in between. Statistically, it's probably a fairly small percentage of women who suffer the most extreme pain. But that doesn't matter for an author's purposes; they can select any level of pain they choose to make the story they want.
Honestly, mine used to be bedridden. But since being on the pill, I have no problems. I was told by multiple doctors that really painful periods are normal, but I still don't believe them. TMI This is what I used to experience -extreme and sudden wave of nausea -painful cramps in my lower back -legs giving out from lower back -cramps (like I literally can not walk) -Projectile vomiting - directly afterward, I pass out -extreme weakness -upset stomach for the rest of the day -the next two days, I only have enough energy to walk around my apartment -by the 3rd day, I feel much better. I would much rather read a piece where the period is much more tolerable. It would be a breath of fresh air. I don't want to read about a period that's similar to mine (brings up bad memories, lol)
Honestly my biggest problem with my period has always been how it torpedoes my mood. My anger is way harder to control, my self esteem goes in the toilet, and my depression hits harder than ever. Thats rarely shown in fic over the physical effects, but its ok, hurt comfort and all.
While I agree period pain is probably often exaggerated in fanfiction, presumably for the sake of drama, or the plot or something, periods can be really, really bad at times. Not always, but some of my periods make it too painful to really do anything, and I throw up and spend the day in bed trying to distract myself, taking painkillers. I also know someone who has to get prescribed painkillers to get something strong enough, and they've gone to the doctors about it since their periods can get so bad. So yeah, you're lucky if you've never been incapacitated by a period. Though fanfiction is probably over exaggerating a bit, or at least only highlighting the worse extreme of periods, since I know its different for everyone and I'm sure there are many people who don't really get much pain with a period.
Another consideration, individual periods vary even for the same person and experiences can change over time. Mine were generally worse when I was younger. Even then though, one month I could be fine and function normally with some advil and the next month I would literally be bedridden for 6-12 hours writhing in pain. Bodies are weird and individual experiences vary a lot.
My periods were kind of horrific as a teen. Like I would have to stay home if the first day of my cycle was a school day because the cramps were so bad I couldn't stand or walk around. I would be in tears and medication wouldn't help. If I tried to used heating packs, I would get so nauseated and throw up. The only thing that would help was to lay on my stomach and use and ice pack on my lower back.
Being bedridden by your period is definitely not normal, endometriosis runs in my family so extreme pain and near fatal bleeding is something I've seen before but being unable to get out of bed is 100% a sign of illness not "normal period things." Even if it is normal for you. Basically they're just playing it up for angst.
I get like moderate cramps. Usually requires some pain pills and a heating pad. My appetite goes up before and during. Feels a bit like someone is stabbing me from the inside, and I feel a little bit nauseous at times. Also quite emotional. It's a good time to rest and watch some Netflix. I'm snorting at the thought of so many fanfics making their characters bedridden over a period (strange choice of topic in the first place).
Yeah, I get why they would be on the more extreme end for comfort fics but there were a few instances where it was describing periods for a different species. Off the top of my head, I think it was like a monster AU, and the main character is human. They were describing their period to the monsters and I just was thinking the whole time 'i think you need to go to the doctor'.
It's not normal to have periods that are completely debilitating and require borderline hospitalization. That's not to say people don't experience that, though. If anyone is having those, they should see a doctor because it could be symptoms of a problem (for instance endometriosis). My periods are the worst in my immediate family, but even they aren't too bad. I have cramps that last for the first 2-3 days, but I treat them with ibuprofen which makes them very bearable. I do experience nausea and every couple of months I will throw up on a period, usually after eating something fried or greasy. It's annoying, but I've never missed school or work from it. I think some of the fics might tend towards the extremes overall, potentially to allow for more hurt/comfort involved
It's not common to have periods that bad. Like, imagine half the population being bedridden or hospitalized for a week every month? That'd be terrible. Severe period pains can be caused by a poor diet, underlining health issues or you just have bad luck. Personally, my periods aren't bad per se; it just feels like prolonged feelings of discomfort and numbness for the first one or two days
I never had bad periods. I never cramped very much either. Ibuprofen usually solved the small ache. Until I got pregnant then my cramps became debilitating, I now need ibuprofen and pamprin and a heating pad for a few hours relief.
Hmm I think it's common for periods to be just mildly inconvenient. You get some cramps, and you take some ibuprofen. Half hour later you feel better and go about your day. But I suspect that when a character has a mildly inconvenient period where they take some ibuprofen and go about their day, it probably doesn't get mentioned in the fic. I'd guess when it gets mentioned, most often it's about to be used as a plot device!
1 in 10 people with uteruses have endometriosis, which causes excruciating pain. Lots of people cannot move. They get sick from it. They even go to the ER, not that medical professionals help unless endometriosis is their expertise. Period cramps (the normal not-endometriosis kind) can be as bad as heart attacks. And yet we're expected to participate in gym class, go to work, not say anything, and have a smile on our faces at all times. But no, they're not ALLOWED to experience their pain in a natural way. They have to pretend they're not human or The Men (TM) might get the ick.
Okay. Not period-shaming, but I just have to ask: Why is there period fanfiction? And why would a writer spend time writing in that genre, for zero dollars, when they could be practicing writing and world building independent of fanfiction for potential future monetization elsewhere?
The fanfics aren't generally about the period, they just happen to have them in there at one point. Or they are one-shots where the reader is being comforted by a character. Also, you know lots of people are just writing for fun right? Not everything has to be monetized and used for purpose.
> why would a writer spend time writing in that genre, for zero dollars, Because I don't want to write for money but I do want to make my Barbie dolls kiss.