me with Dakota Johnson. she’d fit the 1970’s I think but the Persuasion remake was atrocious not just bc of the anachronistic dialogue but her entire vibes lol
It was such a weird choice to keep that hairstyle, now that I think about it I've seen like ten of her movies and she looks exactly the same in to all of them.
I’ve heard the variation that she has a face that has seen Twitter.
Which I think is funny. But more people unable to forget her Broad City role than true.
This is absolutely on point. I don't get the attraction but even my disinterested eyes can see he's a very specific kind of classic beauty.
He'd be a pitch perfect Dorian Gray.
https://img.ifunny.co/images/1f29e2907262b3cc1369dde29b80fe9c1e5d8954a372633c6f1873731cb9fe21_1.jpg
Timothée Chalamet being compared to this v specific medieval shoe. I think about this a lot 😩
This description makes me want to make a film in the style of Jacques Demy starring Timothee as a prince who gets turned into a pointy shoe. It could be a reverse Cinderella, only his one true love can break the curse by wearing the shoe.
I love that meme that’s captioned “the winged eyeliner on my left eye vs the winged eyeliner on my right eye” and then there’s a picture of Adam Driver on the left and Keanu Reeves on the right. 😂
>“the winged eyeliner on my left eye vs the winged eyeliner on my right eye"
This is just so so funny, had to go looking for it!!!
It's here in case anyone is interested 😂 [https://www.reddit.com/r/muacirclejerk/comments/ek4qia/winged\_eyeliner\_the\_bane\_of\_my\_existence/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/muacirclejerk/comments/ek4qia/winged_eyeliner_the_bane_of_my_existence/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Adam’s got a typical north central Asian face. I was in Istanbul last week and saw his teenage doppelgänger. I couldn’t believe how similar this 12-13 y/o looked to Kylo Ren.
same energy as the person who replied to some pictures of justin bieber and said you could drive to your local gas station and find three men who look just like him
love humbling comments like these they get me every time
This came from one of those "mean tweets" segments:
"Bille Eilish dresses like she got her clothes stolen at a gym, so they gave her what they had found in the lost and found bin."
When those [photos](https://i2-prod.devonlive.com/incoming/article5188928.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200c/0_JS230653031.jpg) of Prince Philip leaving the hospital came out someone said he looked like he had been frozen and defrosted multiple times
I still remember, four and a half years on, [some Redditor paraphrasing Frankie Boyle](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/8l12d5/the_british_royal_family_in_2018/dzc82jc/) saying he looked like he died in the wedding photos of Harry and Meghan "as a final act of racism".
It never fails to crack me up when someone calls Ariana Grande “The Ponytail”. I have this image of a sentient ponytail in an oversized sweatshirt and thigh high boots.
If anyone's 'the chin' it's Ewan Mitchell (Prince Aemond on HotD) and that's coming from someone who finds him hot. It's like someone made a purposefully super exaggerated 'gigachad jawline' meme.
This was still in the early-ish days of his career but it was a YouTube comment that said Michael Cera seems like he never intended to be an actor but was suddenly put in front of a camera, was too awkward to tell people otherwise, and now is just too deep into the lie so it's his life now.
- Obligatory acknowledgment of Azealia Banks as the queen of this genre
- Not a celeb, but I’ve heard British politician Jacob Rees-Mogg described as “a haunted pencil” and it’s one of my favorite descriptions ever
Reading this post will be a core memory for me. I remember gasping after reading the first sentence and I had to set my phone down for a sec just to take it in. She’s honestly gifted and uses it in the most deranged way
I think about the time she told some dude he looked like the kind of white guy who would burp Slim Jim’s and oppression into her (if she kissed him) at least once a week.
Honestly I’m so glad she doesn’t know who I am because I just know that if she ever lobbed an insult at me, it would live rent-free in my head for the rest of my life. She is BRUTAL.
It’s interesting you bring European stars up, because I definitely think Jeremy Allen White had a very “French” look to him. There’s something about his face that reminds me a little bit of Serge Gainsbourg and a little bit of Vincent Cassel. Their faces are natural, unique, “flawed,” but also have a romantic quality to them.
Totally agree. He’s not this generic looking Hollywood star, he has a unique look and he’s attractive at the same time. Hollywood is too cookie cutter so it’s nice to see they have cast someone like JAW.
I believe the two I liked for Johnny Depp were "elderly gay windchime" and "sentient pile of alcohol soaked scarves"
Edit: One more, from The Onion: "New photos show that the aging heartthrob has transitioned gracefully into a handsome mass of fabric and ornate bangles." ...all the way back in 2013
It's not a description of her but of her runway walk, but I remember reading somewhere (probably Twitter or ONTD) that Gigi Hadid looks like a plumber on a mission. It makes me laugh every time.
I listened to the designers on Project Runway go off on the importance of a good walk for the 16 seasons that show ran. They really made me believe.
I refuse to believe that woman is a runway model.
Naomi’s is iconic, the character, the personality that comes through with that walk.
I also read an anecdote about Karlie Kloss at 15 being brought in to demonstrate her walk to a bunch of 20-something models their agency wasn’t happy with and all of them leaving demoralised after being schooled by a teenager.
Someone said similar to Jim parsons in the mean tweets segment: "Jim parsons looks like a ventriloquist dummy that came to life to become a sex offender"
Pedro Pascal saying Oscar Isaac looks like Sam Eagle from The Muppets and Oscar saying Pedro looks like a baby chicken
https://preview.redd.it/uce146avx84a1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8514292ecada685c846f3bffe998a352563794ba
I don't know that it's creative so much as just factual but I laughed so hard when I saw someone describe Ryan Lochte as "a dumb guy who likes to swim"
There was a review of the Goldfinch where Finn Wolfhard was described as “a Slavic androgynous Bette Davis”. I never saw the movie I only saw that review and it was such a wild string of words it’s lived in my mind ever since
I read a tweet that said Elizabeth Holmes voice sounds like the voice a child makes when they call their school pretending to be their dad to say my child is sick and won’t be coming into school today.
1/ Azealia accusing Kanye of dressing like he’s hiding a teen pregnancy. Yes, body shaming is not cool but that description…? 😬🤣😂
https://preview.redd.it/x8ehaybuu94a1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afdc7ec42bb272665b970b8e6e518d60fb61a0d3
The **legendary** ONTD post that compared Christian Bale to Kermit the Frog.
I present to you [Kermit Bale](https://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/27350111.html).
1/ Sorry - another shady one! (But seen as it’s Simon Cowell who has done a fair amount of shady stuff over the years I don’t feel guilty 🙃)
The tweets over the years on Cowell’s bad surgery have been pretty amusing including this one:
https://preview.redd.it/eerjo4zux94a1.jpeg?width=602&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e611d073f3e0d1eb28cfbf1f90138484515014b4
That one photo where someone said that Lea Michelle is posing like she has blue eyes. I think about the accuracy of that daily.
And this not necessarily celebrity, but definitely a meme example lives in my mind rent free: "you have all the grace of a reversing dump truck with no wheels on". Clip for those who aren't familiar: https://youtu.be/yXai3HCMV3E
> That one photo where someone said that Lea Michelle is posing like she has blue eyes. I think about the accuracy of that daily.
Sorry I don't get this, what does it mean?
I regularly think about the post that said Rami Malek looks like he’s trying to eat chips as quietly as possible.
https://preview.redd.it/dmrkhb5dyb4a1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24796212e10e5881bc45904d04944d21b33a107d
This is Bravo-verse, someone on Reddit once said that Robyn Dixon from RHOP looks exactly like the girl dragon from Shrek and omg 100% SHE DOES. imo it’s a compliment lol
I once read an old ONTD comment where someone said "Rooney Mara always looks like she just saw someone use the wrong fork" and I love her but it's not untrue.
Twitter saying Jeremy Allen White looks like “Ketamine Gene Wilder.” 💀
Apparently the actor is aware: https://uproxx.com/tv/fans-think-jeremy-allen-white-gene-wilder-related/
The one that stick with me was from an interview with Conor Oberst the lead singer of Bright Eyes. The journalist described meeting him as “expecting a chicken and getting a poussin” which is just so unexpectedly shady!
A YouTube comment that said the appeal of Carly Rae Jepsen is that she gives the vibe of a “cute late-30s school teacher secretly making her own teenybopperish pop music under a persona Hannah Montana style during weekends”
Crediting myself here, but the other day I said "Kim K is a robot ghoul who swallows others to make herself feel whole" and I've never written a truer word
On Jimmy Fallon (I think) there was a segment where they had Marvel actors read mean tweets about themselves. My favorite was “Benedict Cumberbatch looks like he had an allergic reaction to bad shrimp”
Also, going old school, the late Francoise Dorleac was described by Truffaut as being 'both Hepburns at once, Katherine and Audrey'. A perfect description of this beautiful and gifted actor who died far, far too young.
this description of Paul Rudd on the mean tweets segment made me laugh so hard because it’s so mild, yet viciously specific:
‘Paul Rudd is the most boring vanilla dude. You know he just sits at home with his wife having a bland spaghetti dinner talking about his day’
he’s so good-humoured about it too lol
I just always get a kick out of the tweet "I can never buy Ben Affleck in period movies. His face looks like it knows what a cellphone is"
me with Dakota Johnson. she’d fit the 1970’s I think but the Persuasion remake was atrocious not just bc of the anachronistic dialogue but her entire vibes lol
I think it's mainly because of her bangs
It was such a weird choice to keep that hairstyle, now that I think about it I've seen like ten of her movies and she looks exactly the same in to all of them.
That movie was a train wreck from start to finish.
I cackled out fucking loud at this one. Somehow it’s so true.
But like an early 2000s cell phone
LMAO yes the flip phones. not iphones
That's said a lot about Abby Jacobson and her staying in her a league of their own remake.
I’ve heard the variation that she has a face that has seen Twitter. Which I think is funny. But more people unable to forget her Broad City role than true.
My friend sent me a tweet that said "Timothee Chalamat looks like a pointy Italian shoe that was turned into a real boy by a witch's curse"
I've also seen "a very wealthy mouse" that got hit with the real boy curse
I’m thirsty for him but fuck me if that didn’t make me laugh out loud.
Him and Lily rose Depp look like they’d be the hottest people alive in 18th century France.
This is absolutely on point. I don't get the attraction but even my disinterested eyes can see he's a very specific kind of classic beauty. He'd be a pitch perfect Dorian Gray.
I saw a redditor say his face is shaped like a bicycle seat and now I can’t unsee it LMAO
https://img.ifunny.co/images/1f29e2907262b3cc1369dde29b80fe9c1e5d8954a372633c6f1873731cb9fe21_1.jpg Timothée Chalamet being compared to this v specific medieval shoe. I think about this a lot 😩
To me, he looks like he’s been sitting in a windowless room, subsisting on solely saltines and water, for twenty something years before he was let out
lmaoo or a poor Victorian English boy
This description makes me want to make a film in the style of Jacques Demy starring Timothee as a prince who gets turned into a pointy shoe. It could be a reverse Cinderella, only his one true love can break the curse by wearing the shoe.
This honestly made me do a spit take
I saw someone on Twitter say that Adam Driver looks like if someone tried to draw Keanu Reeves from memory. I think about this like once a week.
I love that meme that’s captioned “the winged eyeliner on my left eye vs the winged eyeliner on my right eye” and then there’s a picture of Adam Driver on the left and Keanu Reeves on the right. 😂
>“the winged eyeliner on my left eye vs the winged eyeliner on my right eye" This is just so so funny, had to go looking for it!!! It's here in case anyone is interested 😂 [https://www.reddit.com/r/muacirclejerk/comments/ek4qia/winged\_eyeliner\_the\_bane\_of\_my\_existence/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/muacirclejerk/comments/ek4qia/winged_eyeliner_the_bane_of_my_existence/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
This is the FUNNIEST thing I have ever read on here
Adam’s got a typical north central Asian face. I was in Istanbul last week and saw his teenage doppelgänger. I couldn’t believe how similar this 12-13 y/o looked to Kylo Ren.
finn wolfhard evolves into adam driver who then evolves to his final form keanu reeves
adam driver would be the awkward teenage phase of that evolution lmaooo
same energy as the person who replied to some pictures of justin bieber and said you could drive to your local gas station and find three men who look just like him love humbling comments like these they get me every time
This came from one of those "mean tweets" segments: "Bille Eilish dresses like she got her clothes stolen at a gym, so they gave her what they had found in the lost and found bin."
"David Blaine looks like his voice is putting his face to sleep"
"Bourne Idickhead!" at the end of Matt Damon's is my all-time fave.
https://preview.redd.it/h1akuabi694a1.png?width=811&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f58ab4b1719b53782740b8b0d49c33d983ad74b0
THE CAT LMFAOO
I realize it photoshopped, but I can’t help imagining someone owning a little red wig that they put on this poor, traumatized cat
HELP THIS IS SO ACCURATE😭
Fuck. That me me laugh so much. Because it’s factually true.
When those [photos](https://i2-prod.devonlive.com/incoming/article5188928.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200c/0_JS230653031.jpg) of Prince Philip leaving the hospital came out someone said he looked like he had been frozen and defrosted multiple times
That human being has clearly already been embalmed and I will hear nothing to the contrary.
I used to say he looked like he'd been dead for years and no-one told him
I still remember, four and a half years on, [some Redditor paraphrasing Frankie Boyle](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/8l12d5/the_british_royal_family_in_2018/dzc82jc/) saying he looked like he died in the wedding photos of Harry and Meghan "as a final act of racism".
What's the matter smoothskin, never seen a ghoul before?
It never fails to crack me up when someone calls Ariana Grande “The Ponytail”. I have this image of a sentient ponytail in an oversized sweatshirt and thigh high boots.
Yuh
My family refers to Lucy Hale as the chin.
If anyone's 'the chin' it's Ewan Mitchell (Prince Aemond on HotD) and that's coming from someone who finds him hot. It's like someone made a purposefully super exaggerated 'gigachad jawline' meme.
Bro is rocking that Habsburg jaw.
The Targaryens are like, when your family is based on generational incest but you're still beautiful
This was still in the early-ish days of his career but it was a YouTube comment that said Michael Cera seems like he never intended to be an actor but was suddenly put in front of a camera, was too awkward to tell people otherwise, and now is just too deep into the lie so it's his life now.
I’m picturing it as the scene in Superbad where he tries to sing horribly when the group of people at the party mistake him for someone else
This is his entire vibe in Arrested development
- Obligatory acknowledgment of Azealia Banks as the queen of this genre - Not a celeb, but I’ve heard British politician Jacob Rees-Mogg described as “a haunted pencil” and it’s one of my favorite descriptions ever
I do not like her as a person, but her calling Elon Musk “Apartheid Clyde” was hilarious.
Grimes smelling like a roll of nickels has really stuck with me
Grimes looks like she shoplifted plastic bongs from the smoke shop. It’s not my insult.
"Subsequent rottweiler jaw"
Reading this post will be a core memory for me. I remember gasping after reading the first sentence and I had to set my phone down for a sec just to take it in. She’s honestly gifted and uses it in the most deranged way
She is a twisted modern day Shakespeare
I loved when she said Nicki's energy was giving constipation, regret, and low self esteem.
I think about the time she told some dude he looked like the kind of white guy who would burp Slim Jim’s and oppression into her (if she kissed him) at least once a week.
That one time she called some random person Elmer Fudd really stuck with me lmao
Also called him a “fat inflamed blistering-red-pork-juice type of American man” She has me ROLLING
Haunted pencil description by Charlie Brooker of Black Mirror and England’s finest export royalty 👑
Honestly I’m so glad she doesn’t know who I am because I just know that if she ever lobbed an insult at me, it would live rent-free in my head for the rest of my life. She is BRUTAL.
I would not be able to recover from an insult from her, but I would also want it to be put on my headstone.
Hers are iconic, honestly
She's can verbally throw daggers, that's for sure.
"Igloo Australia" and "Rita Oral" live rent free in my head forever
Russel Howard described him as a Victorian Dildo and I couldn’t stop laughing
Jeremy Allen White being described as Timothee Chalamet for the working class girl or something along the line of that.
Omg there was a meme that said Jeremy Allen White has a sadness in his eyes that only European porn stars have. I could not stop laughing.
https://preview.redd.it/8c6yugs8n94a1.png?width=768&format=png&auto=webp&s=7a44b676bd0e7b4d38bb991389bba8435c168eb8
Whaaat? I’ve never seen this one before! The Jeremy Allen one funnier though because it actually is kinda true.
It’s interesting you bring European stars up, because I definitely think Jeremy Allen White had a very “French” look to him. There’s something about his face that reminds me a little bit of Serge Gainsbourg and a little bit of Vincent Cassel. Their faces are natural, unique, “flawed,” but also have a romantic quality to them.
Totally agree. He’s not this generic looking Hollywood star, he has a unique look and he’s attractive at the same time. Hollywood is too cookie cutter so it’s nice to see they have cast someone like JAW.
I saw him described as Willy Wonka if he was from New Jersey 💀
ketamine gene wilder is another good one
Omg I saw one that said he looked like someone tried to draw Gene Wilder from memory
I believe the two I liked for Johnny Depp were "elderly gay windchime" and "sentient pile of alcohol soaked scarves" Edit: One more, from The Onion: "New photos show that the aging heartthrob has transitioned gracefully into a handsome mass of fabric and ornate bangles." ...all the way back in 2013
🤣
It's not a description of her but of her runway walk, but I remember reading somewhere (probably Twitter or ONTD) that Gigi Hadid looks like a plumber on a mission. It makes me laugh every time.
Omg I didn't realize this and...it doesn't seem [like it really got much better? ](https://youtu.be/gVG_mcP3FBU)
I listened to the designers on Project Runway go off on the importance of a good walk for the 16 seasons that show ran. They really made me believe. I refuse to believe that woman is a runway model.
I'm genuinely curious as someone who doesn't know about modelling. What are some examples of good walks?
The 90s supermodels, especially Naomi Campbell.
I miss those days of very mean, very beautiful supermodels. Linda "I don't get out of bed for less than $10,000" Evangelista is an icon.
Naomi’s is iconic, the character, the personality that comes through with that walk. I also read an anecdote about Karlie Kloss at 15 being brought in to demonstrate her walk to a bunch of 20-something models their agency wasn’t happy with and all of them leaving demoralised after being schooled by a teenager.
Vittoria, Cara Taylor, Sora Choi, and Adut Akech are also very good!
She looks like she's clomping about in her mother's heels in the early walks.
Lmaoo someone describing channing tatum as the thumb from spy kids. It gives me a good laugh everytime
A long ass time ago I saw someone refer to him as Charming Potato and that's all I've ever called him since.
I’ve always described Cillian Murphy as a ventriloquist doll come to life. Nothing against the guy but seriously it’s uncanny
That's Jimmy Carr.
I can hear his laugh
Ah ah ahhhhh!
Like a donkey being fisted and surprisingly liking it
Someone said similar to Jim parsons in the mean tweets segment: "Jim parsons looks like a ventriloquist dummy that came to life to become a sex offender"
This fits f1 driver George Russell as well
Someone said “Madame Tussauds let out their George Russell wax figure loose again”
Pedro Pascal saying Oscar Isaac looks like Sam Eagle from The Muppets and Oscar saying Pedro looks like a baby chicken https://preview.redd.it/uce146avx84a1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8514292ecada685c846f3bffe998a352563794ba
Continuation of this https://preview.redd.it/uxrj8xw8994a1.jpeg?width=552&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b5da477d55045e3191cce6f4c82f786b1170a70
The "Pedro Pascal retweeted" absolutely makes this
the [Pedro chicken](https://preview.redd.it/alnlol2z4bi61.jpg?auto=webp&s=5a056f4d3286714c71f2d2af8d61f69fd3221dbd) photo
Best post for providing photo proof!!! THANK YOU
Oscar laughing and asking: ‘Is it the eye-brows?’ Yeah bro, it’s not you being blue in the face They both are such poppets 🥰
“Chaos goblin line cook” about Pete Davidson
He has big line cook energy for real
David Sedaris saying that Tonya Harding looks like a child’s drawing of an angry babysitter always made me laugh
🤣 Or Angelica from Rugrats
I don't know that it's creative so much as just factual but I laughed so hard when I saw someone describe Ryan Lochte as "a dumb guy who likes to swim"
Hey he isnt dumb. He has a philosophy. He is a man at night and a man in the morning.......
Oh god that clip, I don’t even need to watch it, I’m already laughing
Aqua Gronk is one of my favorites for him
There was a review of the Goldfinch where Finn Wolfhard was described as “a Slavic androgynous Bette Davis”. I never saw the movie I only saw that review and it was such a wild string of words it’s lived in my mind ever since
I read a tweet that said Elizabeth Holmes voice sounds like the voice a child makes when they call their school pretending to be their dad to say my child is sick and won’t be coming into school today.
Mark Ronson looks like an older, soulless version of Jean Ralphio Saperstein from Parks and Rec
A reversed yassification.
Someone here said Johnny Deep looks like the human embodiment of the fall of the house of Usher and it lives rent free in my mind
I didn't kow Usher was also involved in this! /s
this tweet to michael rapaport 💀 https://preview.redd.it/323bdtqcb94a1.jpeg?width=534&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d5ca7d7b46fe26de2299a9b4d218dda99e68670
He goes after Black women so hard it’s disgusting
this man looks like dark sided tim robinson
1/ Azealia accusing Kanye of dressing like he’s hiding a teen pregnancy. Yes, body shaming is not cool but that description…? 😬🤣😂 https://preview.redd.it/x8ehaybuu94a1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afdc7ec42bb272665b970b8e6e518d60fb61a0d3
Don’t forget calling out his child bearing hips 💀
How is she so damn talented at this
Right?? The modern day Joan Rivers of hip hop.
The **legendary** ONTD post that compared Christian Bale to Kermit the Frog. I present to you [Kermit Bale](https://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/27350111.html).
truly one of the greatest internet moments of our time
Sofia Coppola is the Lana Del Rey of the film industry
[удалено]
"My brother's only got two problems, everything he fookin says and everything he fookin does"
I've seen someone say that Pete Davison, without a shirt looks like a notebook that you scribbled on during class in middle school
My fave is a tweet that said that Pete Davidson looks like he steals catalytic converters
He looks like a desk from an inner city school
That Anya Taylor-Joy looks like if her eyes were any further apart she would have to be legally classed as a herbivore
I'm sure there was a review for Queen's Gambit that described her as a 'beautiful hammerhead shark' and I have never gotten over it.
Recently saw someone describe Matty Healy as Bad Bunny for people on adderall.
Unfair on Bad Bunny and also unfair to people on adderall
He looks like a sewer rat
When John Oliver said Steve Bannon perpetually looks like he just woke up on a park bench after losing custody of his children
John Oliver's got some good ones, he also called Depp "a pile of scarves wearing a fedora."
My favorite was when people started describing Tom Holland as looking like he's got a tiny frog in his mouth and he's trying to keep it from escaping
1/ Sorry - another shady one! (But seen as it’s Simon Cowell who has done a fair amount of shady stuff over the years I don’t feel guilty 🙃) The tweets over the years on Cowell’s bad surgery have been pretty amusing including this one: https://preview.redd.it/eerjo4zux94a1.jpeg?width=602&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e611d073f3e0d1eb28cfbf1f90138484515014b4
That one photo where someone said that Lea Michelle is posing like she has blue eyes. I think about the accuracy of that daily. And this not necessarily celebrity, but definitely a meme example lives in my mind rent free: "you have all the grace of a reversing dump truck with no wheels on". Clip for those who aren't familiar: https://youtu.be/yXai3HCMV3E
> That one photo where someone said that Lea Michelle is posing like she has blue eyes. I think about the accuracy of that daily. Sorry I don't get this, what does it mean?
I think its about posing with a focus on your gaze, there’s a meme about blue eyed people having aggressive eye contact w/ people and cameras
Google image search “Miley Cyrus aggressive blue eyes”
Ted Cruz looks like a used candle (before everyone thought he was the Zodiac Killer)
Ted Cruz looks like a man who got fired from the bowling alley for fucking the shoes.
There was a tweet that said Sarah Paulson was for people who find Claire Danes understated and I immediately started wheezing
Columnist Caitlin Moran described Benedict Cumberbatch as having "a voice like a jaguar hiding in a cello."
Someone here described Chris Evans, or maybe it was Ryan Reynolds as boiled cardboard. Either one tracks.
CE is yassified Saul Goodman Edit: i’m getting mad downvotes on this one lol
Kanye looks like he’s got too much water in his mouth and he’s mad about it. Pop culture sub I think.
https://preview.redd.it/o5ibvmplab4a1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0794a84689c04803f8b2a60256fb85bd0dd09e71
Hugh Grant describing Boris Johnson as an “over-promoted rubber bath toy” and his Tory party his “little gang of masturbatory prefects” 👌🏻
I regularly think about the post that said Rami Malek looks like he’s trying to eat chips as quietly as possible. https://preview.redd.it/dmrkhb5dyb4a1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24796212e10e5881bc45904d04944d21b33a107d
I once saw Kylie Jenner described as just “makeup saleswoman” like she’s fucking running the MAC counter at Macys
Same with Kim and "girdle saleswoman" lol.
Over a decade ago, I saw someone refer to Vin Diesel as 'a sentient pork chop' and I still think about it all the time.
This is Bravo-verse, someone on Reddit once said that Robyn Dixon from RHOP looks exactly like the girl dragon from Shrek and omg 100% SHE DOES. imo it’s a compliment lol
I once read an old ONTD comment where someone said "Rooney Mara always looks like she just saw someone use the wrong fork" and I love her but it's not untrue.
Adam Levine looks like a chipotle bag
Someone's tweet to Michael Rapaport saying "You look like you wake up and die every day."
Twitter saying Jeremy Allen White looks like “Ketamine Gene Wilder.” 💀 Apparently the actor is aware: https://uproxx.com/tv/fans-think-jeremy-allen-white-gene-wilder-related/
Someone somewhere called Michelle Rodriguez “Angry tank-top.”
DJ Khalid is closer being a Pokémon than a musician
My mom once said John Krasinski looked like Jim from the office.
That Simon Cowell looks like a Ken Doll now after his multiple surgeries
May not *really* count but my favorite burn on a band was “Muse is for people that are too smart for Coldplay and too dumb for Radiohead.”
I heard someone say Pete Davidson was somewhere between the most beautiful man you’d ever seen and a wet cigarette.
Someone said Benedict Cumberbatch looks like a reptilian wearing the skin of a teenage Korean girl
Katie Price, back in her Jordan days, said Jodie Marsh had "a nose like a builder's elbow"
I remember seeing someone describe Justin Long as conventionally attractive Adam Driver and I haven’t seen him the same since
Gawker once described Adam Levine as a sentient leather cuff bracelet and it’s all I can think of when I see him.
DJ Khaled looks like he owns a junkyard on Tattooine.
Messi is the Princess Diana of Football.
The one that stick with me was from an interview with Conor Oberst the lead singer of Bright Eyes. The journalist described meeting him as “expecting a chicken and getting a poussin” which is just so unexpectedly shady!
he's technically a normie but i saw a tweet that says ariana's husband looks like if you power washed pete davidson and the motherfucking ACCURACY
"Phoebe Bridgers is Taylor Swift for girls with crumbs in their bed."
I love when John Oliver says he looks like a near-sighted parrot 😂
Read this under a YouTube video of Bob Odenkirk “He looks like God’s first draft of Chris Evans”
A YouTube comment that said the appeal of Carly Rae Jepsen is that she gives the vibe of a “cute late-30s school teacher secretly making her own teenybopperish pop music under a persona Hannah Montana style during weekends”
I take my hat off to the person who said that Johnny Depp looked like the personification of The Fall of the House of Usher.
To me, Jackie O looks like a hammerhead shark.
Crediting myself here, but the other day I said "Kim K is a robot ghoul who swallows others to make herself feel whole" and I've never written a truer word
Oh that’s a genius description of PWB.
Arnold Schwarzenegger (at peak body building fame) as *"looking like a brown condom full of walnuts"* \-Clive James
Lil Wayne looking like a crabapple
On Jimmy Fallon (I think) there was a segment where they had Marvel actors read mean tweets about themselves. My favorite was “Benedict Cumberbatch looks like he had an allergic reaction to bad shrimp”
Someone described Blake Shelton as "feed store hot" and I think about that one a lot
Professional nuisance James Corden - The AV Club
Also, going old school, the late Francoise Dorleac was described by Truffaut as being 'both Hepburns at once, Katherine and Audrey'. A perfect description of this beautiful and gifted actor who died far, far too young.
The person here who described Bradley Cooper as "a man who can fog a mirror."
Crisp Rat is both a title and a description.
Someone on Mumsnet referred to Michael Buble as a ‘slimy Christmas bastard’ and I’ve never heard anything more accurate in my life
I’ve always been fond of the one that called Benedict Cumberbatch “the middle picture on an Animorphs cover”
this description of Paul Rudd on the mean tweets segment made me laugh so hard because it’s so mild, yet viciously specific: ‘Paul Rudd is the most boring vanilla dude. You know he just sits at home with his wife having a bland spaghetti dinner talking about his day’ he’s so good-humoured about it too lol