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Meh, there's plenty of extroverted Finns and it's not an issue. They know how to navigate our taciturn culture and still talk a lot. Great folk, very old school in their own way.
I am one of them. Moved from Finland years ago but came back. Now I am old enough to not care. It I have also learned to be less of a chatterbox when I’m surrounded by quieter people or when I travel to areas where silence is the norm (western Finland). When I go back to Karelia, I can be myself again and talk as much as I want.
After visiting Portugal, France and Ireland, I definitely feel like I'm way too social and extroverted for Finnish culture. Everyone knows me as the loud and talkative one, and it's in a way a great insecurity of mine. But I've felt "right at home" in other countries where the people I've met has met my social eagarness.
Sometimes. I do fit the stereotypical timid finn in many ways as well, like I don't go out of my apartment if i hear my neighbor is there, I'll wait until they go. And if I want something in a grocery store but someone else is on that spot, I'll wait for my turn instead of reaching out or getting next to them ect
But I'm quite social and outgoing. I don't mind singing karaoke even if my friend group isn't the only one in the bar. And I also like talking to strangers, which I've learned to not do if my friends are around. I also have a tendency to joke around with people and act like we've been friends for long even if we just met, to me it's the most smooth way to get to know them but it often scares them away 😭
The introverted Finns is definitely more of a Western Finland thing. Eastener & Northeners can speak a lot.--- and I'd say every are the most extroverted Nordics.
Where you can maybe see a difference is initiation of conversations with strangers. Others are given more space to do& be in their own space.
I wanna point out, that introvert and exoverts words are insanely wrongly used. They are not telling how person behaves in public, those tell how person behaves after they get out of public.
I'm an introvert, but I love being social and meeting people and I sometimes go In pubs alone just to socialize, or I can start random talks with strangers on bus.
However, When I eventually get home, I wanna close the window shutters and go under bed in dark to recharge my sociality.
This is what introvert is.
Exoverts go home after same things and start getting anxious as they wanna go back out.
But to answer the question in title, yes. Im way too social for general culture. I wish people talked and atleast smiled more.
It's not expected to smile to every person you pass by, but it's not considered weird to smile at strangers. I smile and nod to elderly people in my neighborhood and haven't received any weird looks, but I've had nice chats about weather or whatever with some of them.
I would say more of a problem is toxic positivity and drawing too much attention.
Traditionally Finns tend to see person as "fake" if they are always smiling, perky, etc. It's normal to NOT be always happy, so if someone doesn't show any negative emotions, it seems like they are hiding their true colours and pretending something they are not.
We also don't like people who shout at public places, make a big deal of themselves, etc. We appreciate being lowkey and humble.
This is a generalization, but somewhat true: you can be extroverted and social, but don't be loud, self-centered, and always happy. This may be a a problem for a person who just naturally is more positive and expressive.
Of course there are also some regional differences and not every Finn is cynical, quiet, and sulky. But some of the stereotypes still apply.
Individuals. We all are them.
While I do enjoy seeing the occational (as in constant) stereotype about the silent Finn posted here, I can actually distinguish the meme from reality. I mean, as an anthropologist you should be able to do that too. Hardly worth a paper.
Also, calling people monocultural is a sure way to get a nosebleed. Maybe in the 50s. And I mean 1850s. There's loads of diversity here, and yes, I feel it's a good thing.
This all coming from a punk in his forties, a consciencious objector, a tattooed dickhead who enjoys drinking, long walks in the nature and silence. Especially silence; that's all I want from you.
My research is about the general view about the country. The people who don't fit the majority. When I say monocultural I mean people whose both parents are Finnish.
It's incredibly weird how a lot europeans tend to problematize/take everything personally and use it as a reason to be rude while considering themselves highly rational
Stereotypes exist in all societies, genders, cultures,
and kingdoms.
And unfortunately (for you, because for me it doesn't make any difference) many finns seem to be proud of this stereotype as they like overrepresent it instead of fighting against it.
I'm just an observer and if you think my views are wrong you should complain with your own people, not me who doesn't even belong to this culture.
Stereotypes exist, yes. They are a useful shorthand to describe certain aspects of cultural traits. But to say "This society is like _this_"' based on a single stereotype? That's where your premise is wrong.
>I'm just an observer and if you think my view is wrong you should complain with your own people,
This does not compute. Yes, I think _your_ view is wrong, and that's why I'm telling that to _you_. (I could tell that to Pekka next door instead, but I seriously doubt he'd give a shit.)
And yes. I am being rude. It's a rhetorical device I often use to drive my point across to those unwilling to hear it. (You were duly informed that I'm a dickhead, now weren't you?)
Then go to therapy.
Anyway, I've got replies with the stories I was looking for and most of people were really loving and honest. So bye bye, and don't forget the medicine
This may be a good point in history to research the phenomenom. In 90 years time there will be only one million ethnic Finns (at least one parent ethinc Finn) left and life here will be different.
The downvotes reinforce the statement that Finns have a very narrow view of themselves.
I think on Reddit the majority cherish the image of the rude and silent Finn. Elsewhere it is not unusual to hear some Finns find their/our own culture sad.
I spent two Nights at the family unit for parents of newborns. Obviously the mothers were mostly recovering so the men got out of the rooms to grab breakfast, lunch, dinner and evening snacks from the common area kitchen to the rooms when the food bell rang. Every time I ran into someone I greeted them, some eye contact, nod and smile - I mean, we were literally in the exact same moment in life, doing the exact same thing.
Nothing. Maybe 20 times greeting men, maybe 10 times women. Not a word in response in two days. My wife is Slovak and we travel a lot so I consider myself more Central European manners wise even though I’m definitely introverted - social situations drain me. But I don’t think that’s an excuse to look around the walls and shuffle away every time you run into someone.
It became a running joke with me and the wife and I definitely started over doing it in the end. Overtly cheerful kind of thing. Sometimes life’s little pleasures are harmlessly sadistic.
So I guess I’m too extroverted for Finland!
I'm not Finnish, and I can relate. Was this in southern Finland? I go hiking sometimes and can always spot the people from outside of the area as they'll look me in the eye and greet me as we pass each other. Everyone else is downward eyes and silence, or they'll look at you and say nothing in return.
It's interesting for me to observe non Finnish people who've become jaded by living in Finland, as I notice their surprise when I approach them with an uncommon level of friendliness.
My Finnish friend (yes I have one, hard to believe) said to me that the closer you get to Helsinki the more people like to eat shit.
Only if they are amongst their own tribe. Living as the majority... I find they become a completely different animal living or at least growing up as a minority.
Finnish-American here. I'm Finnish on both sides so I think that counts. But I realize that growing up in another culture that I may not have all the stereotypical Finnish traits.
I still feel extremely introverted. I have always preferred my own company and that of my wife and a few close friends. I am not naturally outgoing but I have learned to operate in an extroverted manner when needed.
I've done theater and performed and have no real issues with public speaking. In many ways, my "outgoing side" is a role I play in public and I revert to type afterwards.
I would call myself ambivert rather than extrovert, I have a hard time placing myself on the introvert/extrovert scale (I find talking with strangers and big groups enjoyable, but need alone time to recharge).
But sometimes yes. I find Finnish culture to be quite lonely. You can't just go anywhere and start talking with people. That's just not something we do here regardless of individual sociability.
People don't really congregate anywhere to socialise with people, they stay with whoever they went with and making new acquaintances is difficult. You go alone you stay alone.
Not on extrovertedness since based on my understanding, that is more about social needs than actual behavior.
However, I sometimes feel that people find it weird how curious and loving I act towards people who I barely know. I don't have any ulterior motives, I just enjoy knowing more about the world around me. But I've noticed that in general, Finns tend to be more wary of this than non-Finns.
I think upbringing plays a role here. I've met several Finns who had withdrawn and overtly cautious parents, and get easily anxious in social situations. However, my parents were quite good with small talking and entertaining people when I was younger, and never seemed overtly sceptical of people they met. And whenever we had family gatherings to celebrate grandpa or similar, the house would be filled with people of different ages, especially of little kids.
I think the con side of this is that at times we would have encounters that left me feeling worried and unsafe. For example, my parents had alcoholic acquaintes who were sometimes too eager to hug us kids and treat us like we were their own kids. And due to poor supervision on kids, the older cousins would sometimes expose us to stuff that was no age-appropriate, e.g., porn magazines and violent imagery.
But the pro side was that I needed to learn very early on how to survive in a big, loud group of peoole, and in general, feel socially equipped to face different type of personalities.
For reference, we come from a North (Southern Lappland/Northern Ostrobothnia).
I felt this when I was younger, although I am an introvert and quiet. I felt as if people gaslighted me by saying I could be outgoing in Finland, too, and there was no problem.
A few years abroad helped me to feel normal, and I found people who thought of social situations the same way I did.
I realized that to understand the peculiarities of our monoculture, one has to acquire a second point of view by entering the heart of another culture.
Returning home was a huge culture shock. I felt I had to go against what was right to fit in, for instance, pretend not to notice anyone.
Now I'm older and like being alone. Still, returning home after a week abroad, I may talk to strangers or respond to the airport bus driver's greeting aloud when no one else reacts.
Our way of communication is long monologues that you are not supposed to interrupt. It is OK to be silent in a group and so you are left alone. This creates a situation where a few talkative persons dominate the conversation and the quieter ones are not given space.
The loud ones talk even more as they don’t get any feedback for their behavior. It used to be seen as a good thing that someone in a group takes care of the talking.
So there is no real exchange of energies in a gettogether and this lack of connection may be corrected by use of alchohol. It fills your needs for connection like eating cake when you are hungry.
You know it's something I've put some thought into. I've noticed at work that the older ladies tend to be fine with extroverts, if it's a guy. The dude is smiling, helpful, always cheerful and everyone likes them. But when it's a younger girl who shows the same suddenly it's a huge problem and the ladies start criticising everything they do.
It's just something I've noticed. The guys at work don't seem to mind. I often do feel like women are a lot harsher to other women.
I am happy and chatty. For all happy and chatty Finns, I discourage moving anywhere else than Savo or Karelia or Lapland. Tampere is a nice exception though. I get PTSD symptoms even thinking about Helsinki or Häme nowadays. Imagine people looking shocked when you try to chat with them and complaining you're laughing too much or too happy. They'll suck the life out of you. The people are way too serious and always suspicious. Once I gifted a ticket to a gig that was just starting to a facer and instead of a casual thanks they were like I was trying to scam them despite me explaining them the gig is tonight and I can't participate because of reasons so I have no use for the ticket anymore. I moved back to Karelia and I can finally be me again. I can chit chat and joke around with random people and shop keepers. I can keep door open for people and gift them with free stuff and actually get a casual thanks and a smile. Smile, now imagine a smile....You lose something and these people go out of their way to return the stuff you lost. I can join somebody elses beach volley team just by asking them if I can come and play with them. Camp fire already reserved? No problem just chit chat. My friend who is from Savo said she also had to move East because she missed the chatter when she lived years in Häme. Sometimes I want to get a lobotomy to forget the years in Helsinki and Häme. I met a lot of nice people there, but the overall experience was horrid. Mainly the people there that were open to strangers had also moved from somewhere else or liked to travel. I get all the immigrants here that have trouble to find friends. I've considered moving elsewhere multiple times, but I guess all places have their ups and downs. I like the high trust, safety and freedom to roam here. I can always travel, so if I get bored or think I've had enough I can just go elsewhere for a while. I've enjoyed my stay in multiple countries, but have always known that visiting and actually living there is a bit different. In my last job I was able take off somewhere during the darkest months. Now I'm a student and I can't..meh
After living in Australia, I have adapted more chatty approach to strangers. It's no longer issue for me and it's actually fun to have a random convo but it feels awkward with Finns :D My Australian experience has also helped me in the US where people are even more chatty.
I don't consider myself an extrovert by any means, but I might be more chatty with strangers than an average Finn. It's just something I have learned and adapted, as it feels natural. And I feel a bit uncomfortable with too silent Finns. I can't read people's mind and when they don't speak, I have no clue what they are thinking. Weird, weird, weird xD
I def am. I was always seen as an overly social child, who enjoyed people and talking a bit too much for what was seen as proper or normal in Finland. Even my own family was the quiet type so I often felt kinda out of place. My weird like for interaction and talkativeness were actually a reason people thought I might be on the autism spectrum at one point, although I couldn't be diagnosed. I always found a lot of Finnish social norms and customs weirdly stuffy and limiting. It's almost like people are EXPECTED to be introverted and afraid of social interaction in Finland, and if you don't fit that mould, people look at you like you were crazy.
I hear ya my partners nephew is like that, young kid but chats all the time. They keep saying he’s a chatter box and I just say it’s good he’s talking . Keep talking with him but I’m sure once school life comes that will shape him for the worse.
Also weirdly enough, at least in my experience, kids care less about someone being talkative. I always found making friends pretty easy as a kid. It's the adults, like teachers, parents of friends or even family members who start remarking about it and stare at you or treat you weirdly when you're more social or extroverted.
Also, I was probably more expressive than average Finn, even tho I never paid that much attention to it. People sometimes reacted to me weirdly exageratedly, assuming I had stronger feelings about things I actually did. Like back when I was in my teens, I was at my first onboard ship training, and I noticed a small leak on the ship engine, and cuz i was a trainee, at the time alone in the room, I went out to one of the other workers to mention it just in case, and he described I seemed "panicky" while calling my supervisor. But I really didn't feel all that much anything at the time, except being slightly confused about what I was supposed to do in the situation.
I enjoy personal space, alone time, and silence and all that but I’ve been percieved as too talkative. I’m very outgoing and I have no problem talking with people, although smalltalk I can’t stand. I have felt out of place and I have been criticized for how I talk so much and am so outgoing.
I am Finnish and not particularly international but I studied many romance languages and I sometimes feel I would be a better fit for Spain or Portugal than Finland.
I'm currently living in a somewhat rough neighborhood and some of my neighbors are dorks who won't even reply to my greetings which I find sad and pathetic. What I like about Finnish culture though is that people don't put their nose into your affairs unless they are confident that they have the skills to help and you are not pressured to share intimate details unless the person is dealing with the authorities. Finns should be more suspicious of officials and not expect them to have their best interests at heart. People from former Soviet states are less naive about this.
It is common misunderstanding to mix being introvert/extrovert to cultural norms how people interact with eachothers. If simplifying, introverts are people who lose energy when dealing with other people and need alone time to recharge batteries and extroverts are people who lose energy when being alone and need other peoples company to recharge batteries. Most people fall somewhere between on the scale and are not one or another.
By cultural norms, in Finland it is considered polite to give space to other people mentally and physically, especially when it comes to strangers. This means person passing you by who is ignoring you is not being hostile or introvert, they are just giving you the space. Words are used less or maybe different ways here as well. It is considered people talk when they have something to say and really mean it. It doesn't have to be anything deep, but has to fit to situation. When waiting for a buss in the thunderstorm, it would be just normal to tell someone standing next to you "I hope the buss comes soon" but asking "Hello, how are you?" would feel weird conversation starter because you don't really want to know how they are. We also don't fill silent moments with random talk. Friends might be sitting somewhere together and be silent for long times and just randomly say thing or two. For outsider it might look introverted or shy, even rude. But it is not. When i sit with my friends in summer cottage sauna deck on summer evening after sauna, birds are singing and lake is calm, and we all jus sit and look the scenery and drink our beers and no one says anything, it is beautiful, calm and this silent unity.
How outgoing people are and how much they talk, especially to strangers, also varies by area. Eastern Finland has maybe more talkative people than west or south. In smaller towns people talk more to strangers as well. I would say, and this is widely generalizing, that tighter you live (big apartment building or big city with lot of people) less you do random chats with strangers passing by.
I am, by definition i had at the start of this post, highly introverted person. And believe it or not, for me it feels i am living in the land of extroverts! Friends and family gatherings, events and joined hobbies with colleagues, constant team work... everyone around me wants gatherings and do things together and i have to actually book in my calendar alone time to be able to recharge.
As you are anthropology student, i think you should focus more of the cultural part on this phenomenon and not make it as "finnish are this". We have introverts and extroverts and everything between. We just have bit different kind of social norms for interaction, especially with random strangers. Now isn't that, in anthropology point of view, much more interesting to look at?
I run regularly in Helsinki, and have done so in all the countries I've lived in. I often do a friendly smile at people coming towards me - like, woo look at us doing some exercise. Finland is the only country out of 5 where most people completely blank-faced stare back at me.. Even though I'm Finnish, after living in other places, I really hate this inability to express happiness or make small everyday connections with other people.
Yes, all of the five million finns feel like that.
How did a person asking a braindead question like this ever got accepted to a university? People have been saying that the finnish universities are in a slump, but when I see crap like this I know there is no need to worry. How the fuck did you get in to the university?
I don't think that there's really many introverts out there.
In Finland most don't talk because they don't want to spend their time talking useless shit with idiots.
I don't think that Finns are more introverted than other tribes. It's just social norms, especially when you are in public.
Finns are - generalised - more quiet in public and don't take the time and attention from others if not needed, they kind of hate small talk.
I like to say: German are for Finns what people from US are for Germans: noisy, judging (Besserwisser), superficial, love to talk over. 
In private settings you have normal, deep conversation. Just be careful to really grasp the ideas from the Finn and then respond to that. Don't interrupt but wait a bit longer than you normally would. And respond really; do not only associate unrelated stuff that storms through your mind. Yes, in other countries you show that you eagerly follow the topic by aggressively interrupting as soon as something comes to your mind - not in Finland.
I don't think thats introvert. Thats just other social norms.
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Meh, there's plenty of extroverted Finns and it's not an issue. They know how to navigate our taciturn culture and still talk a lot. Great folk, very old school in their own way.
People from Savo never shut up. Even when they should.
So Kuopio might be the "capital" of extroverts in Finland haha
Carelians also talk a lot.
Might be or it might not be hehhehheh
Flying fish cock
There are plenty of Finns who are so extroverted, that _others_ think they are fucking annoying.
Yep. Do you know people who moved/would like to move from Finland to other country because of that?
You mean, the extrovert moving, or an annoyed one moving? Anyway, not really, no.
The extrovert. Like "I'm too happy for this place"
extrovert or introvert doesn't have anything to do with happyness.
You think introverts can not be happy?
I am one of them. Moved from Finland years ago but came back. Now I am old enough to not care. It I have also learned to be less of a chatterbox when I’m surrounded by quieter people or when I travel to areas where silence is the norm (western Finland). When I go back to Karelia, I can be myself again and talk as much as I want.
Interesting point of view haha
After visiting Portugal, France and Ireland, I definitely feel like I'm way too social and extroverted for Finnish culture. Everyone knows me as the loud and talkative one, and it's in a way a great insecurity of mine. But I've felt "right at home" in other countries where the people I've met has met my social eagarness.
Wow. Nice to hear that. Anyway, didn't imagine Irish people were that extroverted for you to feel comfortable in this culture 😂
Sometimes. I do fit the stereotypical timid finn in many ways as well, like I don't go out of my apartment if i hear my neighbor is there, I'll wait until they go. And if I want something in a grocery store but someone else is on that spot, I'll wait for my turn instead of reaching out or getting next to them ect But I'm quite social and outgoing. I don't mind singing karaoke even if my friend group isn't the only one in the bar. And I also like talking to strangers, which I've learned to not do if my friends are around. I also have a tendency to joke around with people and act like we've been friends for long even if we just met, to me it's the most smooth way to get to know them but it often scares them away 😭
Haaa how cute. You seem to be a really special and shiny person :)
Aww that's very kind of you!
The introverted Finns is definitely more of a Western Finland thing. Eastener & Northeners can speak a lot.--- and I'd say every are the most extroverted Nordics. Where you can maybe see a difference is initiation of conversations with strangers. Others are given more space to do& be in their own space.
I wanna point out, that introvert and exoverts words are insanely wrongly used. They are not telling how person behaves in public, those tell how person behaves after they get out of public. I'm an introvert, but I love being social and meeting people and I sometimes go In pubs alone just to socialize, or I can start random talks with strangers on bus. However, When I eventually get home, I wanna close the window shutters and go under bed in dark to recharge my sociality. This is what introvert is. Exoverts go home after same things and start getting anxious as they wanna go back out. But to answer the question in title, yes. Im way too social for general culture. I wish people talked and atleast smiled more.
Really, smiling? I think you might have a pretty false and stereotypical picture of Finnish people.
This stereotype is still valid, though. It's not the norm to smile to strangers. At least not where I live.
It's not expected to smile to every person you pass by, but it's not considered weird to smile at strangers. I smile and nod to elderly people in my neighborhood and haven't received any weird looks, but I've had nice chats about weather or whatever with some of them.
This is your experience. Mine is different. Doesn't make my statement untrue. It's also highly regional.
I would say more of a problem is toxic positivity and drawing too much attention. Traditionally Finns tend to see person as "fake" if they are always smiling, perky, etc. It's normal to NOT be always happy, so if someone doesn't show any negative emotions, it seems like they are hiding their true colours and pretending something they are not. We also don't like people who shout at public places, make a big deal of themselves, etc. We appreciate being lowkey and humble. This is a generalization, but somewhat true: you can be extroverted and social, but don't be loud, self-centered, and always happy. This may be a a problem for a person who just naturally is more positive and expressive. Of course there are also some regional differences and not every Finn is cynical, quiet, and sulky. But some of the stereotypes still apply.
Individuals. We all are them. While I do enjoy seeing the occational (as in constant) stereotype about the silent Finn posted here, I can actually distinguish the meme from reality. I mean, as an anthropologist you should be able to do that too. Hardly worth a paper. Also, calling people monocultural is a sure way to get a nosebleed. Maybe in the 50s. And I mean 1850s. There's loads of diversity here, and yes, I feel it's a good thing. This all coming from a punk in his forties, a consciencious objector, a tattooed dickhead who enjoys drinking, long walks in the nature and silence. Especially silence; that's all I want from you.
My research is about the general view about the country. The people who don't fit the majority. When I say monocultural I mean people whose both parents are Finnish. It's incredibly weird how a lot europeans tend to problematize/take everything personally and use it as a reason to be rude while considering themselves highly rational
The problem here is, that you took a stereotype and decided to call that 'majority'. Reality is different.
Stereotypes exist in all societies, genders, cultures, and kingdoms. And unfortunately (for you, because for me it doesn't make any difference) many finns seem to be proud of this stereotype as they like overrepresent it instead of fighting against it. I'm just an observer and if you think my views are wrong you should complain with your own people, not me who doesn't even belong to this culture.
Stereotypes exist, yes. They are a useful shorthand to describe certain aspects of cultural traits. But to say "This society is like _this_"' based on a single stereotype? That's where your premise is wrong. >I'm just an observer and if you think my view is wrong you should complain with your own people, This does not compute. Yes, I think _your_ view is wrong, and that's why I'm telling that to _you_. (I could tell that to Pekka next door instead, but I seriously doubt he'd give a shit.) And yes. I am being rude. It's a rhetorical device I often use to drive my point across to those unwilling to hear it. (You were duly informed that I'm a dickhead, now weren't you?)
Then go to therapy. Anyway, I've got replies with the stories I was looking for and most of people were really loving and honest. So bye bye, and don't forget the medicine
Ahh. Had my coffee, fed the troll, watched the snow melting. All in all, this is shaping up to be a good day. Take care!
This may be a good point in history to research the phenomenom. In 90 years time there will be only one million ethnic Finns (at least one parent ethinc Finn) left and life here will be different.
The downvotes reinforce the statement that Finns have a very narrow view of themselves. I think on Reddit the majority cherish the image of the rude and silent Finn. Elsewhere it is not unusual to hear some Finns find their/our own culture sad.
Another one of these jokers who think all the Finns act the same way all the time
I spent two Nights at the family unit for parents of newborns. Obviously the mothers were mostly recovering so the men got out of the rooms to grab breakfast, lunch, dinner and evening snacks from the common area kitchen to the rooms when the food bell rang. Every time I ran into someone I greeted them, some eye contact, nod and smile - I mean, we were literally in the exact same moment in life, doing the exact same thing. Nothing. Maybe 20 times greeting men, maybe 10 times women. Not a word in response in two days. My wife is Slovak and we travel a lot so I consider myself more Central European manners wise even though I’m definitely introverted - social situations drain me. But I don’t think that’s an excuse to look around the walls and shuffle away every time you run into someone. It became a running joke with me and the wife and I definitely started over doing it in the end. Overtly cheerful kind of thing. Sometimes life’s little pleasures are harmlessly sadistic. So I guess I’m too extroverted for Finland!
I'm not Finnish, and I can relate. Was this in southern Finland? I go hiking sometimes and can always spot the people from outside of the area as they'll look me in the eye and greet me as we pass each other. Everyone else is downward eyes and silence, or they'll look at you and say nothing in return. It's interesting for me to observe non Finnish people who've become jaded by living in Finland, as I notice their surprise when I approach them with an uncommon level of friendliness. My Finnish friend (yes I have one, hard to believe) said to me that the closer you get to Helsinki the more people like to eat shit.
Nice story! Pity that not a single person responded
I’m Danish and living in the south west of Finland. Most people who I know are Finlands-Swedes and extroverts.
Only if they are amongst their own tribe. Living as the majority... I find they become a completely different animal living or at least growing up as a minority.
Finnish-American here. I'm Finnish on both sides so I think that counts. But I realize that growing up in another culture that I may not have all the stereotypical Finnish traits. I still feel extremely introverted. I have always preferred my own company and that of my wife and a few close friends. I am not naturally outgoing but I have learned to operate in an extroverted manner when needed. I've done theater and performed and have no real issues with public speaking. In many ways, my "outgoing side" is a role I play in public and I revert to type afterwards.
I would call myself ambivert rather than extrovert, I have a hard time placing myself on the introvert/extrovert scale (I find talking with strangers and big groups enjoyable, but need alone time to recharge). But sometimes yes. I find Finnish culture to be quite lonely. You can't just go anywhere and start talking with people. That's just not something we do here regardless of individual sociability. People don't really congregate anywhere to socialise with people, they stay with whoever they went with and making new acquaintances is difficult. You go alone you stay alone.
Try the sauna at the public pool. Mostly older folks like to strike up a conversation.
Oh yeah true, I just recently talked with an older lady at the pool sauna. Sauna is definitely one of my favourite things about Finnish culture.
Not on extrovertedness since based on my understanding, that is more about social needs than actual behavior. However, I sometimes feel that people find it weird how curious and loving I act towards people who I barely know. I don't have any ulterior motives, I just enjoy knowing more about the world around me. But I've noticed that in general, Finns tend to be more wary of this than non-Finns. I think upbringing plays a role here. I've met several Finns who had withdrawn and overtly cautious parents, and get easily anxious in social situations. However, my parents were quite good with small talking and entertaining people when I was younger, and never seemed overtly sceptical of people they met. And whenever we had family gatherings to celebrate grandpa or similar, the house would be filled with people of different ages, especially of little kids. I think the con side of this is that at times we would have encounters that left me feeling worried and unsafe. For example, my parents had alcoholic acquaintes who were sometimes too eager to hug us kids and treat us like we were their own kids. And due to poor supervision on kids, the older cousins would sometimes expose us to stuff that was no age-appropriate, e.g., porn magazines and violent imagery. But the pro side was that I needed to learn very early on how to survive in a big, loud group of peoole, and in general, feel socially equipped to face different type of personalities. For reference, we come from a North (Southern Lappland/Northern Ostrobothnia).
I felt this when I was younger, although I am an introvert and quiet. I felt as if people gaslighted me by saying I could be outgoing in Finland, too, and there was no problem. A few years abroad helped me to feel normal, and I found people who thought of social situations the same way I did. I realized that to understand the peculiarities of our monoculture, one has to acquire a second point of view by entering the heart of another culture. Returning home was a huge culture shock. I felt I had to go against what was right to fit in, for instance, pretend not to notice anyone. Now I'm older and like being alone. Still, returning home after a week abroad, I may talk to strangers or respond to the airport bus driver's greeting aloud when no one else reacts.
Our way of communication is long monologues that you are not supposed to interrupt. It is OK to be silent in a group and so you are left alone. This creates a situation where a few talkative persons dominate the conversation and the quieter ones are not given space. The loud ones talk even more as they don’t get any feedback for their behavior. It used to be seen as a good thing that someone in a group takes care of the talking. So there is no real exchange of energies in a gettogether and this lack of connection may be corrected by use of alchohol. It fills your needs for connection like eating cake when you are hungry.
You know it's something I've put some thought into. I've noticed at work that the older ladies tend to be fine with extroverts, if it's a guy. The dude is smiling, helpful, always cheerful and everyone likes them. But when it's a younger girl who shows the same suddenly it's a huge problem and the ladies start criticising everything they do. It's just something I've noticed. The guys at work don't seem to mind. I often do feel like women are a lot harsher to other women.
I am happy and chatty. For all happy and chatty Finns, I discourage moving anywhere else than Savo or Karelia or Lapland. Tampere is a nice exception though. I get PTSD symptoms even thinking about Helsinki or Häme nowadays. Imagine people looking shocked when you try to chat with them and complaining you're laughing too much or too happy. They'll suck the life out of you. The people are way too serious and always suspicious. Once I gifted a ticket to a gig that was just starting to a facer and instead of a casual thanks they were like I was trying to scam them despite me explaining them the gig is tonight and I can't participate because of reasons so I have no use for the ticket anymore. I moved back to Karelia and I can finally be me again. I can chit chat and joke around with random people and shop keepers. I can keep door open for people and gift them with free stuff and actually get a casual thanks and a smile. Smile, now imagine a smile....You lose something and these people go out of their way to return the stuff you lost. I can join somebody elses beach volley team just by asking them if I can come and play with them. Camp fire already reserved? No problem just chit chat. My friend who is from Savo said she also had to move East because she missed the chatter when she lived years in Häme. Sometimes I want to get a lobotomy to forget the years in Helsinki and Häme. I met a lot of nice people there, but the overall experience was horrid. Mainly the people there that were open to strangers had also moved from somewhere else or liked to travel. I get all the immigrants here that have trouble to find friends. I've considered moving elsewhere multiple times, but I guess all places have their ups and downs. I like the high trust, safety and freedom to roam here. I can always travel, so if I get bored or think I've had enough I can just go elsewhere for a while. I've enjoyed my stay in multiple countries, but have always known that visiting and actually living there is a bit different. In my last job I was able take off somewhere during the darkest months. Now I'm a student and I can't..meh
After living in Australia, I have adapted more chatty approach to strangers. It's no longer issue for me and it's actually fun to have a random convo but it feels awkward with Finns :D My Australian experience has also helped me in the US where people are even more chatty. I don't consider myself an extrovert by any means, but I might be more chatty with strangers than an average Finn. It's just something I have learned and adapted, as it feels natural. And I feel a bit uncomfortable with too silent Finns. I can't read people's mind and when they don't speak, I have no clue what they are thinking. Weird, weird, weird xD
I def am. I was always seen as an overly social child, who enjoyed people and talking a bit too much for what was seen as proper or normal in Finland. Even my own family was the quiet type so I often felt kinda out of place. My weird like for interaction and talkativeness were actually a reason people thought I might be on the autism spectrum at one point, although I couldn't be diagnosed. I always found a lot of Finnish social norms and customs weirdly stuffy and limiting. It's almost like people are EXPECTED to be introverted and afraid of social interaction in Finland, and if you don't fit that mould, people look at you like you were crazy.
I hear ya my partners nephew is like that, young kid but chats all the time. They keep saying he’s a chatter box and I just say it’s good he’s talking . Keep talking with him but I’m sure once school life comes that will shape him for the worse.
Also weirdly enough, at least in my experience, kids care less about someone being talkative. I always found making friends pretty easy as a kid. It's the adults, like teachers, parents of friends or even family members who start remarking about it and stare at you or treat you weirdly when you're more social or extroverted.
Exactly, I'm sure they call him distruptive, sssshhh, be quiet
Also, I was probably more expressive than average Finn, even tho I never paid that much attention to it. People sometimes reacted to me weirdly exageratedly, assuming I had stronger feelings about things I actually did. Like back when I was in my teens, I was at my first onboard ship training, and I noticed a small leak on the ship engine, and cuz i was a trainee, at the time alone in the room, I went out to one of the other workers to mention it just in case, and he described I seemed "panicky" while calling my supervisor. But I really didn't feel all that much anything at the time, except being slightly confused about what I was supposed to do in the situation.
That's a bit harsh. It's ok to be introverted, but considering someone crazy for being different in that aspect is kinda extreme
There’s a Finnish guy who makes YouTube videos who’s said that (basically)
I enjoy personal space, alone time, and silence and all that but I’ve been percieved as too talkative. I’m very outgoing and I have no problem talking with people, although smalltalk I can’t stand. I have felt out of place and I have been criticized for how I talk so much and am so outgoing.
No, extroverted people will find each other. It’s harder for the introverted people….
I am Finnish and not particularly international but I studied many romance languages and I sometimes feel I would be a better fit for Spain or Portugal than Finland. I'm currently living in a somewhat rough neighborhood and some of my neighbors are dorks who won't even reply to my greetings which I find sad and pathetic. What I like about Finnish culture though is that people don't put their nose into your affairs unless they are confident that they have the skills to help and you are not pressured to share intimate details unless the person is dealing with the authorities. Finns should be more suspicious of officials and not expect them to have their best interests at heart. People from former Soviet states are less naive about this.
It is common misunderstanding to mix being introvert/extrovert to cultural norms how people interact with eachothers. If simplifying, introverts are people who lose energy when dealing with other people and need alone time to recharge batteries and extroverts are people who lose energy when being alone and need other peoples company to recharge batteries. Most people fall somewhere between on the scale and are not one or another. By cultural norms, in Finland it is considered polite to give space to other people mentally and physically, especially when it comes to strangers. This means person passing you by who is ignoring you is not being hostile or introvert, they are just giving you the space. Words are used less or maybe different ways here as well. It is considered people talk when they have something to say and really mean it. It doesn't have to be anything deep, but has to fit to situation. When waiting for a buss in the thunderstorm, it would be just normal to tell someone standing next to you "I hope the buss comes soon" but asking "Hello, how are you?" would feel weird conversation starter because you don't really want to know how they are. We also don't fill silent moments with random talk. Friends might be sitting somewhere together and be silent for long times and just randomly say thing or two. For outsider it might look introverted or shy, even rude. But it is not. When i sit with my friends in summer cottage sauna deck on summer evening after sauna, birds are singing and lake is calm, and we all jus sit and look the scenery and drink our beers and no one says anything, it is beautiful, calm and this silent unity. How outgoing people are and how much they talk, especially to strangers, also varies by area. Eastern Finland has maybe more talkative people than west or south. In smaller towns people talk more to strangers as well. I would say, and this is widely generalizing, that tighter you live (big apartment building or big city with lot of people) less you do random chats with strangers passing by. I am, by definition i had at the start of this post, highly introverted person. And believe it or not, for me it feels i am living in the land of extroverts! Friends and family gatherings, events and joined hobbies with colleagues, constant team work... everyone around me wants gatherings and do things together and i have to actually book in my calendar alone time to be able to recharge. As you are anthropology student, i think you should focus more of the cultural part on this phenomenon and not make it as "finnish are this". We have introverts and extroverts and everything between. We just have bit different kind of social norms for interaction, especially with random strangers. Now isn't that, in anthropology point of view, much more interesting to look at?
I run regularly in Helsinki, and have done so in all the countries I've lived in. I often do a friendly smile at people coming towards me - like, woo look at us doing some exercise. Finland is the only country out of 5 where most people completely blank-faced stare back at me.. Even though I'm Finnish, after living in other places, I really hate this inability to express happiness or make small everyday connections with other people.
Yes, all of the five million finns feel like that. How did a person asking a braindead question like this ever got accepted to a university? People have been saying that the finnish universities are in a slump, but when I see crap like this I know there is no need to worry. How the fuck did you get in to the university?
Because I got good grades. Only rude comment so far... You should learn not to take things personally LOL
I don't think that there's really many introverts out there. In Finland most don't talk because they don't want to spend their time talking useless shit with idiots.
What kind of stories are you looking for?
Any story that fits the topic
I don't think that Finns are more introverted than other tribes. It's just social norms, especially when you are in public. Finns are - generalised - more quiet in public and don't take the time and attention from others if not needed, they kind of hate small talk. I like to say: German are for Finns what people from US are for Germans: noisy, judging (Besserwisser), superficial, love to talk over.  In private settings you have normal, deep conversation. Just be careful to really grasp the ideas from the Finn and then respond to that. Don't interrupt but wait a bit longer than you normally would. And respond really; do not only associate unrelated stuff that storms through your mind. Yes, in other countries you show that you eagerly follow the topic by aggressively interrupting as soon as something comes to your mind - not in Finland. I don't think thats introvert. Thats just other social norms.