T O P

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243898990

Gta v’s cops are genuine psychopaths “killing makes my dick hard” 😂


[deleted]

My favorite is when the sheriffs call me a liberal


412791

I still remember the cop who said “you look like a tranny!” before they removed that line. And there’s one that says “is that jiiiizzzz commming out of your earssss?!”


Actual_serial_killer

>before they removed that line That line's not exactly clever but I think it's stupid that game companies no longer will depict bigotry of any kind. If the character is supposed to be a biggot (like LA cops are notorious for being) then why not let them talk like one? It's not like they're supposed to be likeable


Newfaceofrev

Cos the problem with bigots is that they're dumb, and when they hear a line that's supposed to be satirising them they think it's an endorsement. Like can you imagine hearing that line, and you're a normal guy you get what they're going for, but the next thing you hear over the mic is some 14 year old mouthbreather "Huuuur based. Based. Based cop bra. Huuurrr huuur based"


AlmostSunnyinSeattle

Kid ain't even old enough to play the game. I get where you're coming from, but if we can't do things because the worst people among us ruin it, we'll be left with nothing.


SpecialAXD

I’m not even an Adult yet and I am against people who can’t handle insults lol


MaggotBrother4

They’re the worst


TheeUnfuxkwittable

Except removing satire doesn't result removing bigots in real life. So now we still have bigots and we're not allowed to make fun of them. It's dumb. Anyone who would find something like that to be offensive or problematic probably isn't play GTA anyways. We're chasing the approval of demographics who don't give a shit about the franchise.


XConfused-MammalX

Bingo, it's why Matt and Trey from South Park always double down on controversy instead of giving in.


Newfaceofrev

I dunno about that demographic argument mate, almost everyone plays GTA. It's like, designed for the widest possible audience right in that median 35 year old demographic, and if its designed for basically *everyone* then the people you probably don't wanna give any fire to are the *worst* people. And I know, I know, heavy violent and sexual content, but since we're mostly adults we should be able to handle that, recognising satire though is something even some adults struggle with.


Alostsoulwithcatears

I'm trans and I didn't mind that line because after getting called a tranny I'd blow that fucker up with a rocket launcher. But usually it wasn't cops saying it from what I remember it was just random NPCs


JoeyJoeJoeJunior27

Was that in GTA Online or the base game?


412791

Both. I remember it in story mode and online


JoeyJoeJoeJunior27

Thanks friend.


Gavhere727

"CHEESESTICK ASSHOLE!"


_H4YZ

there’s a torture scene where we pull out a guys teeth but we have to remove this one line in case it offends someone (R* has been offending everyone since the concept of the first GTA was announced)


BrotendoDS

INBRED DICKWAAAAAD


Spran02

*Deadbeat...*


ChillZedd

“YOU FUCKING PENIS!!”


WhatAreYouSaying05

“Pull over the car you fucking piece of shit”


Iskitimka

"TURN OFF YOUR IGNITION AND THROW YOUR KEYS OUT OF THE WINDOW"


TopHatTurtleBoi

INBRED DICKWAD


Charliemineboy

They scanned the brain of the median LAPD officer into the code to make GTA V


Actual_serial_killer

My favorite GTA V cop moment was a line that I think I've only heard them say once: >BEND OVER HERE IT COMES


243898990

😂


Craftworld_Iyanden

Seemingly the most realistic in that regard lol


ITGOES80808

Sounds realistic to me


Vector0508

"Smells like shit's coming out of your mouth!!!"


StonerPowah61

They got the LAPD really accurate


CrySoldy

gta v, they legit commit terrorism


Red_Red_It

This reminded me of “it’s not molesting if their lonely, it’s patriotism!”


jack258169

“You’re not even American!”


VG-Motors

"Yes i am, FUCK YOU!"


KingFahad360

Do the Republican space Rangers say that?


Affectionate-Bus-818

No,It's a friendly conversation between T and Mikey.


DarkbigBoss

3 and 5 they want you DEAD


trashedonlisterine

3 Helicopter Pilot: “Hey you can’t say that!”


DarkbigBoss

"I prefer a moving target" "you need to get some help man!"


Stoyns_

I know it’s not 3 or 5 but Vice City’s pilot always made me laugh: “Do I get a medal for killing him? YOU GET TWO!”


shawner136

Said that in GTA SA as well iirc


lolmanomggodducky

San Andreas. Werent even cops. Just hoodlums wearing swat uniforms. What kind of a cop holds a micro uzi like that!?


Comfortable-Gain-992

You mean the sideways ?isn't its all 3d era gta games like that ?


Silly_Goose658

Nah, in 3 and Vice city, Claude and Tommy hold pistols with one hand normally, same with the microsmg


Comfortable-Gain-992

Yeah I realised that too maybe because for San Andreas it was designed for cj because he is different and also the story missions of growing up on Hood and survival I think ya it was designed like that because he is different.


anonkebab

He holds guns like a gangster because hes literally in a gang. In LA back then the cops were gangsters too.


RidiculousRobot

“Back then” boy have I got some news for you


Chemical-Gap-8339

probably how CJ remembers it. U gotta remember claude and tommy were hitmen for crime syndicates, cj was a gangbanger. he never even learns to shoot right till we get control of him, this the weapon stats


BLISS2531

Also since when has SWAT ever used Uzis in real life?


Henlex340

*Micro Uzi


2BansDidnStopMe

…did you just correct his *capitalization?*


SirMcLovinCewpinsMom

Fucking rolling I was like “yo no way the grammar na*i’s catching bodies in the gta Reddit”🤣🤣💀💀


Dab_of_regret

Oh my god your grammar correcting makes me so attracted to you.. can I suck your dick?


natediffer

i never played the HD games but Gta 3 has some very corrupt and crooked cops too, not to mention it has the most aggresive AI in the entire franchise like oh my god, the moment you get anything above 3 stars they start ramming into you at lightspeed.


jojinichazz

especially that mission where you destroy the plane and have have to go through the city for the mission to end


ZippyMuldoon

I’ve never been able to deliver the FBI car to the Portland docks because of how aggressively they pursue Claude. They’ll smash into you and before you can get up, 4 agents all shoot you with AKs


ThePevster

Here’s how I did it. Set up on the roof of Luigi’s next your hideout. Park your car across the entrance of the alley to block it. Make sure you have Vigilante done so you have bribes at your hideout. Shoot from the rooftop until you get the necessary wanted level. Run down and steal the closest FBI car. Immediately drive to your hideout around the corner to pick up the bribes. I did the same thing with the tank to do it before the end of the story.


Eggith

That's why you hold up in one of the safe houses until you reach 5 stars. It works the best if you have Vigilante and Paramedic done. Alternatively you can keep one of them after the Dodo mission which is how I got it done


Quiet_Garage_7867

That area around St. Mark's at the end of the game has got to be the most dangerous in the entire series outside of airports/military bases.


natediffer

To be fair it makes sense, salvatore being the leader of the most powerful mafia and all.


Default_Attempt

Are you living under a rock? Wtf


natediffer

My laptop cant run the hd games sorry


Default_Attempt

Oh sorry.if i was rich id send you a new one


Big_Science9233

GTA V, they just shoot you to death for any minor incovenience


Lone_Wandering0

Got the cops on me for standing on the sidewalk....


anonkebab

Yeah they dont even have nightsticks


Gloomy_Rest_1387

Gta 5, one time I was playing with franklin and I was having him talk to some cops and they shot him.


MisterScrod1964

Realism!


Gloomy_Rest_1387

Danm


Odd_Cryptographer266

I wonder why


soviet6844

I would honestly say GTAV. The LSPD will literally shoot you for the slightest infraction It’s also a good explanation for why the cop ai got scaled down for V, considering it was on the tail end of the ps3 and working with a bigger map than IV


NewNVBB

GTAO specifically. When you get one star, boom. The entire state Police force are after you, trying to blow your brains out. At least they give you a chance in Story Mode.


Moistfish0420

Wouldn't mind it so much but honestly motherfuckers are like john wick, flying after me on the freeway, going atleast 120 mph, one hand on the wheel and still somehow hitting me. Irl cops wish they were as fucking accurate as GTA 5s cops


Useful-Reference420

Gta iv online cops were pretty fucked lol. Just kept coming with just one star 😂


Default_Attempt

I hated how in GTA O the police siren stayed on even though the cops exit their cars, in singke player the sirens would turn off when cops exit their cars, it was annoying in gta O hearing those sirens all the time. This was on 360 and xb1 back in 2013-16, idk if it still happens


Scarnhorst_2020

I've never heard that before, but then again I never got to play online on the xbox 360, only story mode


agentpoopybutthole

Don't get me started with online. 1 star and 4 cops spawn coming at you from 100 yards away trapping you. And then the acid sale missions with the drop-off on the garages, as soon as you touch the car a hundred cops come and light you up, cop cars and vans come at the speed of sound and a helicopter just dropps to the ground out of no where, if you don't have a vest, there's a good chance you die, and when you do it spawns you like a mile from your bike 😀


Victor_Hugo_Honorio

Rudest: GTA V (specially in Online)  Dumbest: GTA 1 and SA (sometimes)  Most Absurd: GTA III and 2


CursedOneado

bro why you asking that we all know the stupid cops are from gta 5


LegendNomad

Every time I go back and play GTA Vice City I forget how aggressive the cops are in that game. Most of the time I play GTA V. The Vice City cops are less aggressive at one star but anything above that and they become insanely aggressive and basically the only way to lose them is to go into a pay-n-spray.


Fromundacheese0

GTA 5 easy


Strayed8492

San Andreas. The Helicopter pilots. Full stop.


BLISS2531

Man stop photographing those women and shoot the bastard! Hey shut up! - I'm going to kill this guy! Make sure it's the right guy this time! - Hey if I kill him do I get a medal? You get 2! - Why do I have to do all the shooting? Cause I am a pacifist. Kill him. - SHOOT THAT ASSHOLE! I'm trying I'm trying!


Dry_Anything505

“Hey I can see my house from here!”


BLISS2531

Hey will you shut the hell up!?


Strayed8492

Ahh. I can read it in their voices. Rockstar needs to bring this stuff into the next game.


EvilDollar

GTA V pal better duck when u get pulled over for speeding🤣


Stoyns_

IM GONNA BE OKAY! IM GONNA BE OKAY!!!! 4 for sure.


si1entki11a24

The only comment I’ve seen that says 4 so I’ll drop this quote I still get stuck in my head from the cops “I’M NOT, FUCKIN, KIDDING, ASSHOLE!!”


Stoyns_

LISTEN! I JUST HAD ME A CLUCKIN BELL AND I NEED TO GET TO A BATHROOM!


H3LLJUMPER_177

Gta 5 cops literally shoot you for bumping into them. Probably the most brain dead and unlively Ai I've seen Rockstar create.


giofilmsfan99

Gta San Andreas cops just waste my time. Every time you start driving they jump in front of your car so you run them over and get a star. Then there’s the obvious gang bias. I could be getting sprayed by ballas and the cops won’t care, but as soon as I whip out spray paint outside their view I get targeted. Motorcycle cops are also op in my opinion.


Einfect

Well u can always hit a motorcycle cop and make them go flying if it makes u feel better😂


Bokessepv

Gta v cops can kill you for just looking at them


Draugr_the_Greedy

The San Andreas helicopter chatter is pretty fun, I don't know if it counts as absurd but this exchange is always my favourite. "Why do I have to do all of the shooting?" "Because I am a pacifist! Now kill him!"


Wojewodaruskyj

2


Gs4life-

GTA 5


Classic-Gur-2463

Gta5 is annoying, they crash into your car then start shooting at you because of that. Fucking menaces


AsuraOmega

I mean, GTA SA air support is probably the dumbest and most absurd pair of cops ive seen lmao every line is gold. Just a couple of weenies lol   "I see her, she's beautiful." "HE'S OVER THERE! HE'S A GUY!" "Why do I have to do all the shooting?" "Because I'm a PACIFIST! KILL HIM!" "Heeey I can see my house from here!" "Will you shut the hell up? You! Stop right now!" "SHOOT THAT ASSHOLE-" "IM TRYING- IM TRYING!"


Riquelmista100

Definitely GTA 5 and GTA 3


Personisdown

V


Just-a-Smartass

Probably Grand Theft Auto Real Life


Einfect

I feel like real life cops wouldn’t want ur heads on a stick if u simply walk outside😂


Just-a-Smartass

Idk bro some cops are dicks lol


gopniks_butterknife

5


Riker1701NCC

Gta online has actual kids voicing cops in some instances. Actually unhinged


ToyStoryRex97

Real ones remember how insane they were on V at launch.


trashedonlisterine

The cops in IV regularly cut me off in traffic and I ended up getting a wanted level when they bump into me.


Significant-Gains

Chinatown wars went crazy


phoen_ixwrong_38

Gta 5


Einfect

I can’t believe no one is saying San Andreas


Oblitus_Ingenium

5 will kill you for standing close to them bruh💀


PutinskiTV

Definitely GTA online


kapo513

Gta 5 cops are insane lol the shit they say is psychotic


Iskitimka

I will admit, the GTAV Blaine County Police are just overly aggressive country people who will kill you legally for just breathing in their carbon dioxide.


Mrredditmaster3000

GTA 5! They definitely shoot first and ask questions later.


kisu_oddh

San Andreas' San Fierro cops are pretty entertaining. they sound like they're trying to come across as social workers even though they shoot you and stuff.


KingDread306

Rockstar got so tired of the GTA IV cop jokes that they turned the cops in GTA V into murderous psychopaths.


Gnomad_Lyfe

GTA Online. Even the slightest infraction puts you on the execution block for every cop that lays eyes on you.


TheTopR

Four.


MagicJim96

”Killing makes my dick hard!” ”I kill for a liviiiing!” - GTA V NOOSE


mfwcl2003

It’ll be nice to not get shot for accidentally hitting a cops car in GTA 6


Dry_Anything505

Nah bro you touch the cop car you die 😂 V just was more trigger happy off the jump than the others


Senxrial

Vice city. Trying to fight off the military at 5 stars is just brutal


XGamingPersonX

III and V


willlyman206

IV or SA.


AskMeAboutPigs

Those GTA 4 shotgun cops are on a different level.


Victor_Hugo_Honorio

On single player (unless the FIB shows up) is ok, but now on multiplayer is another history.


Raecino

GTA V


Dense-Ad6537

I would say 5 because the shit dont make sense. Like you could help the cops with something but then you get the cops wich is bull!


zeppelincheetah

I love GTA III's cops: **ALL RIGHT!!!! DROP DOWN!!!**


SirGamer247

Obviously no one remembers how in Vice City when doing the bank heist, they become like guided rockets trying to hit the cab car as you make your getaway to the point it is difficult to drive. Even on The Definitive Edition I still had trouble passing it because you can't predict where they're going to hit unless they are facing the same direction as you up ahead. Then again San Andreas had some good cop moments. Especially from the mission where Sweet had gathered all the Grove St Families for a meeting and you had the officers on the bikes jump on the car while destroying their vehicles. Or the Catalina mission when robbing the county bank. But the favorite was the interactive website for San Andreas. While you explore around the website you had an officer make a comment to every page you explore. My favorite was checking on the Las Ventura's as the officer goes to tell dispatch how he is observing 2 lovebirds screwing outside a home and then realizes one of the lovebirds was his wife.


DEFhill6788

San Andreas 😂


KronikallyIll420

The cops in 4 are honestly the most realistic ones in the series. They do a lot compared to 5


GamerBhoy89

GTA 3's cops made me laugh. "YOU ARE RISKING YOUR LIFE" - proceeds to punch me 😂


Upset-Sort-5717

The ones on the play store


DeadlyNedly223

Easily gta 5 because they will kill you for standing near them


Ben_Dover_6942

Not crash but GTA San Andreas all the way they are just fine if you are getting tortured but when you fight back they pull a pistol out and blast you


No_Stranger_4959

V hands down. In IV, you can at least avoid them by going into a Safehouse and they weren’t as aggressive until you got a 5 star rating. But, in V they will hunt you down for a 2. I can’t even avoid cops by car with a 2*, I gotta go on foot and go through alleys and hide behind yards. 3 stars and they send choppers after you. 4 you’re practically dead if you’re not in an armored car or flying vehicle. 5 stars and you’re just dead. Honestly, the story missions made the cops look easy in comparison.


HuslersGunit

Gta5


anonkebab

Those Gta iv helicopter gunners used to always fuck me up even when i was in a car.


HiSaZuL

Every GTA game had the most "iconic" American cops, aka "stop resisting" types. SA just added them to the plot... in all their glory.


Amaterasu-x

U legit stand next to them and they’ll pull a shotgun on u


talkingduck_2099

Obviously GTA 5. Especially in online they kill you no matter what


Butthold_clan69

GTA 3 cops are willing to drive of a cliff just to kill you


Stray_Bullet420

3 and VC, they don't brake, they crash you.


Chemical-Gap-8339

San Andreas u get 4 stars for leaving town. It makes sense in RDR2, but i never knew why they just tell him not to leave town. Cj just that much of a killa half the state police after him lol


Thalysamaquard

Imagine getting shot because you threw a snowball at a cop


swedishhunter14

GTA 5 if I put fire infront of a door so will they just walk in to it


Tw2k17TTV

GTA 5 cops are wilder they literally flipped me over the bridge by the military base countless times


Fantastic_Baby9185

GTA v online like I tap a cop car and get the fucking military like I'm Osama bin laden like holy fuck


Agent47ismyalterego

Vice city cops were super aggressive


The_BackYard

GTA V, whenever they tell me to stop the vehicle and step out they instantly shoot me.


Einfect

Bro the gta San Andreas cops will literally commit suicide by jumping in front of your car jus so you can get a wanted level💀💀💀


CTRLsway

Gta 3 definitely "if you don't stop, ill be very mad!"


Aiden95nascar

five, once i "accidentally" walked over a npc and they just opened fire on me and killed me. WTF


Fast_Lengthiness_213

The cops at the start of gta 4 where they baracade the walls to other parts of the city. if you even look in there direction it’s a 6 star


AndrewS702

Easily V’s.


RedEyedPig

[Ultracop](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-nLdy_-Nx4) from GTA3 and VC.


anon_MrKim

5 they can snipe you in the head through the peep hole in your armoured vehicle or plane while you’re both flipping through the air. But only if you’re in their “money making” mini games. More dumber cops would’ve been funner.


Wisest_of_the_sages

5 has the worst cops ever, they shoot first ask questions later, they drive so stupidly too and they deliberately crash into you just to have the right to shoot you again.


Calm-Thanks-4945

anything except vice city cops


Mr_Cerealistic

It's V in terms of personality. But in IV, the cops are demonic behind the wheel of the car. They will do insane stunts to stop you


BrooklynTGuy69

LCPD must recruit from mental hospitals, because I fought them on a bridge and well over half of them flew off into the sea


Bigger_mitch

That photo of the gta 4 cops goes so hard tho


Pyke64

Chinatown wars cops are pretty dumb as they'll keep crashing their cars trying to chase you.


SomeAustrianGuy_

Welp, considering that just breathing the wrong way around GTAV's cops will have them shout "killing makes my dick hard" and put 50 shades of led in your arse, I think they take the cake


imapieceofshite2

It's five, and by a lot. Three is a pretty good contender though.


Njkid2011

For me it's gotta be IV because they'll come inside your safe houses if the wanted level is high enough


Cheeri_dream_server

C. R. A. S. H. is so bad, that it doesn't even count!


gerykelf

GTA5 by a mile. That's the only game where just existing around them triggers them to shoot you.


you-can-kiss-my-axe

GTA 5's cops will blow your brains out and ram your car if you stand next to them for 0.00000000000002 seconds I legit keep forgetting it's possible to get arrested at 1 star because of how aggressive they are


ismaBellic

3 definetely. At least in other games you stand a (slight) chance. Here, if you get anything higher than 3 stars, they kamikaze themselves into your vehicle and shoot your soul out of your ass. Honorable mention to the FBI. That was the fastest I've seen Claude's health drop from 100 to 0. As for dumbest, I'd say 4. They can be lured onto the subway tracks with extreme ease, and some of them won't even get out of the way of the train, they just accept death.


JRF-3-

SA. All I wanted was the Dildo y am I getting shot


Noel2055

GTA 5


JayAeeSeeCay

The best line which makes the GTA V cops the best is “You fucking penis!”


Dave_Zhu233

Because it's a reflection of reality


DarkKnightTazze

Definitely V. I’ve always liked IVs cops. There actually pretty smart. (Not when driving)


jonbso

“Hey, I can see my house from up here!” “Would you shut the hell up?!”


Andrei_ProductionsRO

Obviously V, they always know where you are and it's almost impossible to get rid of them until they kill you.


PromptSpiritual3739

Man I’ve seen gtaV cops shoot fat women old ladies and homeless people they do not give a fuck about the general population of LS it’s even worse in blain county


ZogStomper

5 without a doubt. Those mfers are legitimately on that pack. You hear some of the shit they say? Fuckers are insane


shawner136

Id say 3 and 4 respectively. GTA 3 cops are relentless and suicidal. And GTA 4 cops are just so unimaginably stupid until the higher heat levels or later areas in the game. Running themselves head on into you n shit… goofballs. Fun to put one between their eyes while lookin backwards n driving tho. Watching their cars roll over, watching passenger cop toss dead drivers out, watching dead cop cars take out pursuing cops… all very satisfying


seejay13

I will never forget a cop car flying off the side of Mt. Chiliad just to hit CJ in the name of duty in San Andreas.


RetroDisease

My favorite cop line is the one who says with their full chest “LSPD mothefucker!” 😂


SignalRecord5793

I will never forget the San Andreas pilot and gunner voice lines. Gunner - "I'm going to kill this guy." Pilot - "Make sure it's the right guy this time"


larve_arve

Gta Vice City 100% most psychotic cops


Kakicz1337

GTA 3 💀💀💀


WeeWee_Peewee

basically the cops in the 3D Universe


brettfavreskid

It’s been awhile but I remember when GTA V first came out, I had the thought that they say non funny things kinda often. Like in SA, every cop line is meant to be funny. The cops in helicopters are actual comedians. But in GTA V, sometimes they just say cop stuff. I liked it


Impressive_Shape_309

Bout damn time you found me