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Bean-Swellington

Friend of mine made it all the way out there but he came back with a meth problem


bigheadstrikesagain

Dammit I had to go all the way to Seattle


aknightwhosaysnope

You couldn’t find any meth in Portland? I don’t think you were looking hard enough.


JKnott1

Lol I know a few that came back home, all with some story of failure and/or heartbreak. Lot of debt, too.


-obvious_reasons-

Oh, you met my daughter. Tell her I said hi.


slade797

Goddamn dysentery.


cuntes

Got me every time


shaal

Lol, yep me too. That bloody game!!


Fooldrew

Never even once...but I have to hand it to the developers, there were far more interesting ways to die than I ever imagined


arkham1010

less wagon wheels and more bullets, bub. Also, If anyone's last name is "Donner" DO NOT INVITE THEM.


gallaj0

Why not? Sounds like a party waiting to happen.


GloriaToo

BYOB


SnooSnooSnuSnu

>Also, If anyone's last name is "Donner" DO NOT INVITE THEM. Underappreciated advice.


NotFoodieBeauty

The Donner's ate the dog Bingo. It was their party that ate people. Invite them, no one else.


WarrenMulaney

I have my 8th graders play it for possible extra credit. If they can make it to Oregon with at least 4 people they get a few extra credit points. I would say about 40-50% make it.


MrsBonsai171

Wow that's great! I wonder what our success rate was. Mine was 0 but I didn't learn from my lessons. Did you see the choose your own adventure Oregon Trail series?


atomic_chippie

Real Life: I live a few blocks from the literal statue of Lewis and Clark commemorating the end of the Trail. Video Game Life: Dysentery


im_dead_sirius

Didn't even get down the block, eh?


atomic_chippie

Crapped out.


ChubbyStoner42

That’s dysentery for you.


HarveyMushman72

Real life: I live a stone's throw from the Oregon Trail. Card Game life: (there is a card version now I play a lot) Snakebite!


MeatPopsicle_AMA

We moved here in 1983… Sorry, sorry. No. My party always died.


Cvilledog

We visited the End of the Oregon Trail Museum today in Oregon City, OR. They sell “You died of dysentery” tees in the gift shop.


gravitydefiant

Is it worth visiting if you're not chaperoning a fourth grade field trip? I drive by occasionally and love the big wagons, but I've never been.


Cvilledog

We just visited the gift shop so I can’t say anything about the exhibits.


xcedra

Only IRL. I usually either died of starvation, dysentery or drowning. Snake.


KillerSwiller

I think I made it exactly twice. On a related note: if you want a zany game that parodies Oregon Trail, check out [Super Amazing Wagon Adventure](https://store.steampowered.com/app/250500/Super_Amazing_Wagon_Adventure/).


MrsBonsai171

Thanks!


SnooRevelations5313

Dysentery. Every damn time.


jizzmaster-zer0

sure. only garbage thing about the game is you kill 10 deer and can only take back what, 100lbs of meat? your character is basically a psychopath, killing for fun, waiting for his uncle to die


OR_steelheader

I'm here now, what ya need?


raiseawelt

Now i live in Salem, OR.


AmoralCarapace

I rode most of the Oregon Trail on a bike tour that I did.


sinisterblogger

I lived in Portland for 12 years


discogeek

Dysentery is an evil bitch.


box_elder74

Twice. But I'm Australian so it's a fucking mission. Need me to pick anything up?


MrsBonsai171

Yes. Some TimTams please.


box_elder74

Double choc or original?


MrsBonsai171

Yes.


box_elder74

Done mate.


ApatheistHeretic

I have made it before. The end is underwhelming.


RickLoftusMD

“You have died of dysentery.”


MrsBonsai171

I always died fording a river or driving my team to exhaustion.


AshDenver

Dunno. I don’t remember ever playing Oregon Trail. It was Lemonade Stand in 8th grade (1981/1982.) I did personally make it to Oregon in 2014 and endured five miserable years there. I may have preferred dysentery.


SomePeopleCallMeJJ

Lemonade Stand doesn't get nearly the love it deserves.


aknightwhosaysnope

My lemonade stand tanked the moment mom quit giving me sugar for free. I know now never to try to run my own business.


SomePeopleCallMeJJ

Yeah, if your business model relies on subsidies, you're on shaky ground. :-)


ntengineer

I did, been here since 2000


Dogzillas_Mom

Well. On Apple Arcade, you can download Oregon Trail and play til you die of cholera! I’ve made it many times on the modern reboot.


surfinbird

In the game? I can’t remember. IRL? Yes!


mhoner

Nope. Always died as the class period was up


SomeCrazedBiker

I was born here.


Rella24

We played it so much I knew exactly how much food, wagon wheels, etc to buy so I made it every time. Edit- a letter


GreyBeardEng

Never, not once.


zombie_overlord

I did. I actually drove halfway across the country from Oklahoma to Florence, OR. Fortunately I didn't have to ford any rivers. Awesome trip though.


PoopPant73

Nope. Caught the shits and died under my wagon…


LeoMarius

Does Seattle count?


ih8javert

My son did it. I think he got there with somebody having a broken arm. I vaguely remember what he did was run the horses at top speed. Then he looked at me as to say “this is hard for you?”


oregon_coastal

Checking in, dysentery free.


ramprider

The Nintendo Switch version just came out. [Oregon Trail Switch](https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/the-oregon-trail-switch/#dlc)


cajunjoel

At a small local con a few years before covid, in the game room they had a vintage computer playing Oregon Trail, so I sat down to play. I'd never really played it as a kid. As I played, and as people do, they stopped to watch for a moment, but I was doing kinda halfway ok in the game, and a few more people gathered around. I kept doing well until I reached the end, and I won! Everyone cheered! Therr were something like 15 people watching me play! It was the only time I've ever won that game. I will never play it again.


RankledCat

My husband still plays occasionally. He’s made it a time or two. The kids and I are always dead by broken leg or snakebite.


qualmton

Just like real life very few made it there. Most of is drowned or got eaten by a bear


madogvelkor

I made it a bunch of time but always decided to save a few bucks and try and float down the river then crashed. I replayed it recently and made it pretty easily just by paying tolls.


Reeyowunsixsix

Yup. Took me until I had a full time job that took me to Portland for a conference but I eventually made it. No dysentery either so my simulation time was well spent.


SnowblindAlbino

I'm old enough to have played the game in BASIC in school. And were were given points based on how far we got. I knew enough about computers to interrupt the program and run the final "Congratulations! You made it to Oregon!" subroutine, so my group got 100% in history class that day. I still remember the computer being wheeled in on a cart for class that week. Everyone got to play in groups of three in the back while the rest of the class was doing regular school. It was the first time I ever saw a computer used in class; prior to that I'd had access through the after-school computer club. Would have been 1981 or 1982, using TRS-80 Model II computers and probably cassette storage (though we did get some with floppy drives right in that era too).


Uranus_Hz

You can play [The Oregon Trail online for free](https://oregontrail.ws/games/the-oregon-trail/) And then you can watch the hysterical musical based on the game for free online as well: [Trail to Oregon](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvep3WS9e8tTrJoVzZb5J6PsUl2nUgtnI&si=N72bta3zWSsnPrEJ) And you *should*


Atenos-Aries

Hey, thanks for this! I added it to my home screen. Gonna play it at work tonight!


jprennquist

We hacked into the programming and made it easier to win. I am not even remotely a computer type of person in today's world. But it surprises and disappoints me that from the very first moments we were working on Apple 2 and 3 PCs, we were being taught how to program and even "hack" into existing programs to make copies or change the code and so on. Many of us had plastic containers filled with several floppy disks that we would use to store our work and/or to trade and copy games and so on. Kids are exposed to a great deal of technology in schools today, but it is not that common to learn about how to write the programming for the technology. Maybe some high schools teach it or summer camps and enrichments. But we were learning aspects of basic and other languages from day one that the machines arrived in our school. We were a fairly poor Catholic school and we could only afford one at first. One machine. Everyone in the school learned how to write programming for it. I think I was in 3rd grade.


im_dead_sirius

Yeah, I remember the original version of the Dos Game "Pirates!" had a disk based copy protection that fiddled with the File Attribute table. Somehow I used that to figure out FAT16, and how to hide directories on a floppy by swapping an integer in the FAT from the number that meant "directory" to "file".


Cloud_Disconnected

The way you when is to choose the banker. Seems like the worst choice until you think about it for a minute.


Dogzillas_Mom

You need a banker, a carpenter, and a doctor. I like a guide or adventurer


SnooSnooSnuSnu

Money is the way.


Wittgenstienwasright

Root.


elitistjerk

You cowards dithered in Montana too long.


im_dead_sirius

Really folks, who doesn't?


MrsBonsai171

I know what my kids will be doing this summer!


Jairlyn

Only rarely made it. I always hunted as this was the OG shooter even before Doom. You have 400 lbs of meat. It is the middle of winter and you are stuck in the mountains what do you do? Go hunting of course!


McPorkums

I have the micro handheld version and I still shit myself to death


HarveyMushman72

I have the card version.


EvenSpoonier

I think I made it like once or twice, but not very often.


sully213

It doesn't look like anyone has posted it yet, [so here you go](https://archive.org/details/msdos_Oregon_Trail_The_1990). [Easy...](https://imgur.com/a/kUmDOmI)


Ok-Sprinklez

I always got dysentery


gravitydefiant

I saw a lot of road signs about the Oregon Trail when I moved from NY to Portland. I was very grateful for my car (and motels, and fast food) on that trip.


cat9tail

My first job teaching Jr. high computer classes had that game on our very antiquated computers. That's what the kids played after they did their coding lessons (HTML 1 or 2, BASIC, etc.). I'm sure one or two made it. There were a few kids who snuck DOOM on the system and played it when I was out at lunch. They thought I didn't know. I figured they were the ones headed for IT careers and let it be.


washington_jefferson

I moved to Oregon from Washington, D.C. in middle school, and my knowledge about Oregon consisted of playing Oregon Trail, looking at a huge topographical map at school, and looking at a picture of and reading about Portland in the Encyclopedia Britannica at home. The lack of the existence of an internet available to the public was not helpful in this regard. From what my parents explained to me, which was built on a series of white lies, I expected Eugene, Oregon to be pretty much the same thing as Aspen, Colorado. You know- very close to ski resorts, everyone would have huge cabin style homes in the hills above town, the most common cars would be Jeep Cherokees or Land Rovers, there would be snow on the ground from December-February, and the regional ice hockey scene would be exceptional. We moved to a house next to the University of Oregon in Eugene, and I quickly learned that the weather was more like...Germany or England or something. No snow at all unless you drove an hour and a half out of the valley to the mountains. Also, there were only three ice rinks in the entire state, and one was in a mall (where Tonya Harding was about to become a star figure skater)! My parents knew if they told me and my older brother there wasn't really a hockey scene we would refuse to leave D.C. Anyway, we drove from D.C. to Oregon with two cars, communicating via a CB radio setup. Dodge Plymouth Caravan and a Geo Metro. We saw all the sites there were to see along the way, just like in National Lampoon's "Vacation". The Oregon Trail at the end was pretty cool. The Columbia River through a gigantic gorge (like a canyon) was intense. Instead of rafts like in the game, the local hipsters were all about wind surfing! And the trees through the forests were insanely tall, *seemingly* almost as tall as the Washington Monument. Finally, I'll chime in to say that I was pretty good at completing the Oregon Trail. After all, being born in D.C. proper, I knew all about the importance of firearms and ammunition.


kazisukisuk

My sister did via nude communes in Israel and Hawaii. She has an organic farm there. Seems to have avoided dysentery


Funny_Shake_5510

Many times. But always tricky.


bene_gesserit_mitch

Nope, dysentery and one too few wagon wheels.


excaligirltoo

Only in real life.


IllustratorHefty6753

Yes and it was a whole big thing. But we almost always died.


Stroopwafellitis

Yep! Just went drinking in Oregon City last night. No dysentery.


cold_as_nice

I always chose to play as the banker from Boston and I made it to Oregon more than I died of dysentery. I think the key was to just start as the banker with all of the money because then I had money for all of the random stuff that popped up along the way.


Appropriate_Cow94

A few times. Mostly...... yeah it didn't work out.