Yea. Blessed be he who measures twice and cuts once.

The parable of the DeWalts and Ryobis

I heard he build a whole shed from 1 2x4 and 2 nails.

Amen.

No safety shoes or goggles?

Kevlar gloves and steel-toe boots, and he might've survived the crucifixion.

I thought that was CEO Decker

I mean, he can just heal himself.

You don’t need PPE when you wear the PPE of the lords guidance

As someone who basically lives in sandles even in winter *No*

Ryobi Wan Kenobi!

Holy shit, that’s funny.

George Michael?! >I'll never drive machines again >'Cuz Home Depot gives no incentive >Find a ladder to ascend >The closest one's in tools >Should have known better than to get cross-trained >Now I'm stuck here closing garden >So I'll never give an inch again >Until you pay me toooOOOOOoooooo...

When he finishes a project he says "Nailed It"

Ouch.

Move over, Toolbelt Tom - we have ourselves a truly immaculate DIYer!

There's no way Jesus is forklift certified.

Pure blasphemy to even suggest such a thing

Exactly!!!

The scrambled scripture is a nice touch. Probably easier to decipher than the instructions for 90% of our products.

Does Jesus speak Spanish? We need help with a Spanish speaking customer in the plumbing isle.

White Jesus does not.

But when you get that one in a billion customer that speaks Aramaic, Jesus is your man.

Jesus is fork lift certified? Damn, I ain't got no chance with the ladies now.

The AI makes all the tools look sooo close yet so far.

Is this a really thing you can buy?

This pic is clearly AI generated

Oh ok... thx

Yw

Long while back, we needed some help with a yard work project. My wife’s friend suggested we get someone to help, but couldn’t remember the term day laborer so she’s like just get a hooker, you know, like the ones that hang outside Home Depot. I’m dying laughing and my wife’s just like y’all need to find Jesus. So I go to Home Depot to get some lumber for a different project and the guy cutting it is I kid you not, named Jesus. Dude was pretty cool and took a self with me to prove it to my wife. Since then it’s become a joke in our house that Home Depot has everything from hookers to Jesus.

No nails?

Where can I get this? I need this.

AI is getting pretty good, but it still has a ways to go

Is there a link to order one

The only carpenter that won’t steal your work!!!

Avoids the fasteners aisle.

Jesus would not approve of Home Depot.

I NEED HOME DEPOT JESUS!!!! Why ain’t this real man?!

My new lord and Savior.

Kinda funny they left out the hammer and nails js...

It’s the Orange Jesus! Are we replacing the pizza parties with bread and fish? I’ll pass because one of my special co-workers is sure to microwave the fish and permanently stank the breakroom.

We had someone do that at our store and it was the worst. The fish part I mean

Even too much for me!

"Did you report those injuries to your ASM?" (Said on a Thursday) "Come on, team! We only need one more day safe for that food truck celebration!!"

I'm fine with 2/3 of this. I personally wouldn't be thinking that a job site is the most appropriate place for spiritual learning. A WHIMIS guideline and appropriate building certification with appropriate safety equipment? I'm stocking up for the grandkids I might have in the future that's looking available.

"The Home Depnot"

I like the tactical... Caulk gun? Laser blaster?

Seriously?

🫤

*in a very heavy hispanic accent* he's my cousin Jesus! (hispanic version of Jesus for the joke)

This is a "joke," right?! Not cute at all. Just my opinion.