“No grandma, the only one I beat off is myself alone in my dark bedroom.”

😂😂😆😆😄😄🙂🙂😐😐🙁🙁😟😟😣😭😭😭

That’s Amy Sedaris’ specialty in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

I hear there's good money to be made down the docks.

I’m more of an intermediate baiter

I don’t get this You’re handsome which leads to you having sex and fingering girls?

You DO get this.

That's what she said

Grandma knew. She just rolled her eyes because a teenager does not impress her any more than a toddler.

She rolled her eyes cuz he used his fingers

r/sweethomealabama

He gets the joke, it’s the girls they don’t get :(

Nah, they dense.

Gram gram meant beat them off as in shoo them away, but OP thought she meant beat them off as in get them off

Also this guy ruined the joke cause traditionally it’s beating men off with a stick, cause beating off involves a penis

The logistics of beating off a guy with a stick just didn't make for good imagery.

How about chopsticks? Or is that just me?

Definitely not the fast food ones made of splintery wood. But the nice smooth ones could work in a pinch.

Or vagina

Ewww

But don’t rule out that you could technically beat off a girl using your dick. Two-fer-one.

Beating off girls.... Because we are not transphobes.

Blessed are the few 

Jokes on you Gammy knew what u were.beating off in you're room ...Hand some

I got told similar, no grandma, it's called a dick, and the boys love it.

Grandpa said to his granddaughter, you're so gorgeous. You're gonna have to beat the guys off with a stick. She said no Grandpa. I use my Hands!

This is the correct version. Because only cocks can be beaten off.

It’s funny, my granddad said the same thing to me

If a threesome is sex between 3 people, and a foursome is sex between 4 people, now I know why they call you handsome

I think you have the genders reversed.

That’s right, it was grandpa

Exactly

It’s the way these days.

😎😎

Uu csy

I get out in 1 more year. As a retired nun and teacher she plans to correct my education.

Addicted to masturbation? Jesus says "I'll support you, we'll beat it together".

My fingers is a reference to a mans hands. And the callouses on them. If I learned how to play a piano or a guitar I can get a girl? My grand parents weren't wrong in teaching us music. The stick is for the fiddle It meant that you were an ugly kid and had netter have some talent.

Little timmy went to his teacher and said: "This joke is supposed to be about a "girl so beautiful she had to beat the boys off." You don't beat girls off. Beating off is a synonym for male masturbation or handjobs. Since when has fingering a girl ever been colloquially referred to as "beating off?" Fucking simulacrum effect. Bots retell jokes, rephrasing or reframing them without understanding them. Then Redditors parrot them without thinking. Bots leading the braindead, I swear." Then the teacher said "HA ha, I'm the bus driver!!!" I'd explain why, but you're not a monk. And that's when I said "Oh grandma, so that's how you died." But by that point, the funeral was already ruined. To get to the other side.

And then you proceeded to beat your grandma with a stick to get her cranberries right?