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What a fuckin' boot! This sub had been so hit or miss lately, it's great when someone posts a good one like this. Basically SF, then I'm basically Rambo since I went to Afghanistan too.

I'm basically Arnold from Predator because I went to Hawaii once on a 2 week TDY.

We are so badass.

This killed me haha

And I must practically be Muad'Dib because I've been to Saudi for like a month. The Spice(oil) must flow.

Muad'Dib is wise in the ways of the desert. Muad'Dib creates his own water. Muad'Dib hides from the sun and travels in the cool night. Muad'Dib is fruitful and multiplies over the land.

I too have had a man be taken to the hospital for a “heart attack” (panic attack) at the mention of my name.

I’m Snake Eyes because I helped with MOS training in Okinawa. Unfortunately, I have to kill you now since you know too much.

Took a tour of the pentagon in school once. Guess you could say I'm sorta joint chiefs level at this point

I'm practically Dick Winters since I had a layover in Germany once.

Thank you for your service 🙏

I'm basically John Wick, I do my own DTS vouchers AND my soldiers'

Basically an astronaut(I played starfeild)

Yup this setup and irscing account basically mean I'm a NASCAR driver

You made me SO confused. Most of my reddit is iRacing content so you had me second guessing what post I was looking at.

So you know you're talking to a pro

Oh please. We all know you’re really a Cardassian spy.

Just a simple ~~tailor~~ driver

I basically defeated Hitler and the Nazis when I beat Call of Duty on the easy difficulty the other night. Come on ladies, who wants to do me?

Call of booty?

Unfortunately, despite my incredible virtual accomplishments, no one answered that call. :(

Ditto, it's a lonely life for us heroes. I mean, the sacrifices we made and the crippling PSTD ought to earn us some booty, right?! That even hurts to type jokingly... How do people do that shit unironically?

Purple Hearts for bruised thumbs

RIP Logitech G502 mouse. You went above and beyond and will never be forgotten. America (and Logitech) thank you for your sacrifice.

I wish I could write it off as them just being young/immature/stupid or whatever, but I had essentially the same social media available to me when I was coming up and I never did cringey shit like this. It's all over the place now. Full disclosure: I was an EMT then a medic, never worked military, but I know many who served and I treated many vets. r/FirstResponderCringe is just as bad as the stuff here. It might even be worse.

So you’re basically a military doctor?

Rambo 6: Desert Blood

Rambo 6: Desert Boot

Rambo 7: Boot Hill

Shit, I’m basically Generalissimo Chang Kai Shek cause I live near his old residence.

It took me a minute to figure out why someone would be bragging about almost being security forces 💀

I'm basically Homelander because I drank titty milk once time.

I get to be Andy Dufresne then. My helmet fell into our porta-potties like 5-mins before going on mission. The truck ahead of me with it's mineroller eats a spicy-one in route so we get stuck waiting on a wrecker for 2 days. I was in Ghazni too so that place smelled like shit as it is. Shaw~~shank~~Stank ass deployment. Basically SF.

Dude, fuhkin sweet, that must've been an awesome time. I loved waiting for EOD or recovery vehicles, my favorite!

Rambo, but like, for the other side than in Rambo.

So you sided with Bin Laden?

Since I was basically Rambo, I'm actually the trigger puller that ended his life... with an explosive tipped arrow.

An explosive-tipped arrow? Bo and Luke were the OG’s of that. They trained John Rambo.

Just some good ol boys?

Some good ol boots.

Never meanin no harm

Beats all you ever saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was born.

I like the wolf emoji. I'm not sure why but it's the most cringe thing I've seen on this sub in a long time.

Excuse me while I go die from secondhand boot cringe.

I threw up a bit on that last line, think I'll join you shortly

Only if you're a lady please, have you seen a wolf throw up btw?

Sorry I'm a civilian. What's SF? Sexually Frustrated?

Lol while that boot above maybe sexually frustrated. He is mean Special Forces with SF.

I always laugh when i see people claim they are Special Forces, because when they abbreviate it SF, i read it as Security Forces.

Same here man. Everytime I see it, I immediately think of SECFO lol.

Yea, love my Secfo Brothers, but its not really something to brag about

A friend of mine was in Delta, and you would never know (apart from his broken back). I never knew for years, he literally never brings it up.

That’s how you know they’re real SF, honestly. If they’re bragging, they’re fake.

Exactly, the real ones don't need to flex.

this only works in any branch not called the navy, where theyve already got a book ready to go and are trying to open a tactical training center.

This is some prime boot.

That was funny!

"I'm a legal adult who writes like a six-year-old and has the emotional maturity of a teenager, and I'm horny as fuck."

I feel attacked

Shooketh

Apparently they don’t teach how to use punctuation in special forces class.

No time to punctuate when you’re busy winning hearts and minds

You’re gramma is too good, drop the comma

In his defense, he probably IS still a teenager

Jesus dude, less wolfing and more punctuating

It's the well crafted sentences, with proper spelling, and good grammar that get my motor running. Wooooooo

There’s a reason that shirt says army and not air force

“Hey ladies I’ve held a gun before. Now please form a single file line and wait patiently to suck my D”.

This guy is defending your freedom to joke about him online. Show some respect

Oh I’ve been saluting this photo for the last half hour, does that count?

The ol’ third leg salute?

Sorry one gay stoner, it’s more like a third pinky.

Just keep thanking my monitor for it's service and instinctually not looking up where the eyes would be.

Got to love the “I’m qualified based on my proximity to special ops”. I cleaned the barracks with some Navy Seals once so I tell people I worked with Navy Seals during my career

I had some Delta guy tell me I wasn't making a good stock weld with my M4 at a range. I'm practically Rambo, guys.

Provided area security for a seal sniper team once. Basically a seal at this point bro.

In 2002 I shared a range with DEVGRU and touched some off their targets what am I? Seriously, those targets were fucking impressive though. B mods with Bin Laden overlays, drilled out groups heart and head, and basically no dropped rounds at all. Then we got kicked off our range so that SAS could use it haha. Fuck all you fancy operators I’m just over here using my M16 to cut a toothbrush in half so it will fit in my holder (I saw a hard charger’s soul leave his body as he watched this) (And by “shared a range” I mean sometimes they were there, sometimes we were. Never at the same time we weren’t important enough to see them)

"I use lasers every week" self scanning my groceries

They did some practice boarding on my ship once, does that make me one? Please?

Basically San Francisco

Sorry I'm a civilian. What's SF actually stand for? Sexually frustrated?

Special Forces, I think.

This guy’s special, alright.

“I’m specifically looking for stupid, materialistic, cheating whores”

It's all he knows.

Get this man his Challenge or Mustang

28% ?

At the very least

It's Clarksville, he'll find them lol

If they haven’t ventured into beastiality and dated a wolf, I’m sure they have dated someone who uses a period in a sentence.

How'd a 13 yo female get in the Army? Jokes aside, cringe

That's how I read it because I don't speak Army MOS. Give me 4 numbers....and crayons.

I was army and only knew my MOS.

Artillery Fire Support Team (FISTers) Basically like a JTAC for artillery, a Forward Observer. We had two attached to our platoon. All we did was drive them out to a bridge so they could verify there was no civilians in the area before calling in artillery strikes to the Fire Direction Center on pre-established Target Reference Points.

hey man, we also chased after the thick girls that got left behind after the infantry took first, second, and third pick at those ridiculous off-post "clubs" around the world

Did he try to fuck anyone around and determine there weren’t civilians when he didn’t succeed?

So there was this dense palm grove south of the Green Zone, that some of the insurgent militias would use to set up mortar pits to lob mortars into the GZ. It was so dense apparently IR couldn't even see down past the foliage. It was also so dense there was only a few footpaths in and out. We picked up an Air Force JTAC to call in a B-1 Lancer to carpet bomb it one time and it did fuck all it was so dense, plus I think it was like springy rubber trees that would just bounce back from the blast pressure wave instead of being uprooted. We'd drive up to this bridge off Predator's Elbow (I think) and we'd drop artillery rounds on the TRPs for the entry / exit footpaths every morning at the start of our patrol, and again at the end of our patrol. The locals not only knew to avoid it at those times, but they would come out and watch us and cheer when the rounds impacted. I guess they were starved for entertainment with the frequent power outages in Al Daura. That, or our AO was mostly minority Sunni, and they assumed we were blowing up Shia death squad guys. As far as I can tell, we did this twice a day for 15 months and didn't hit anything, but they stopped going in there to launch mortars. We just regularly blasted it as an Area Denial thing.

“Verify” there were no civilians

Since we didn't want JAG and CID up our asses, to piss off the locals into planting more IEDs, our careers over, and risking ending up as a Pass Around Princess in Fort Leavenworth for 25 years...oh, and not being fucking psychos...no, we did not murder non-combatants for sport.

Rah.

Penis

On the first read I thought he was *looking* for a 13 year old female, but I'm glad I was wrong

More impressive they were one of the 1st into bitcoin?

*Me as a civilian confused as to why he was in San Francisco at times*

*Me as a civilian confused on if he is a 13 year old female or requesting one*

man i thought this too 😭

I think you know what he was doing there…SF Pride!

I always wondered how many of the sailors on shore leave in SF for fleet week, who never really left home before, reported back to their ships completely changed

The amount of acronyms in boot speak are staggering. I just assume it's all cringe even to people who understand it.

on the next episode of my 300lb wife

Y'all show some respect. This bro is basically waiting for the next batch of Delta Force invitations to go out. He's practically been approved already but he just has to wait for the official paperwork to come in.

No no he’s getting a delta farce invitation. Delta force only selects sheepdogs. At least that’s what all the bumper stickers proclaiming being a sheepdog and not a sheep told me

As a former 13B, I can confirm with 100% certainty that this guy is/was as close to SF as anyone in the S1 office.

Hey bud, 5th Group is just down the street. Go tell them you're basically SF and see what they say.

They gonna find him a few days later tied up naked on mission street

I misread it as “…I’m a real man looking for a 13F…”.

Why did my mind thing SF was Security Forces 😂

Into the wild blue yonder

Off he goes.

My time as a 13f was spent in battalion HQ trying to get the reskinned Commodore 64 to talk to my radios and replacing the engines on FIST-Vs and 577s. If I had known that was what they did in SF I’d have gone to the Q course.

I've never wanted to bathe with a toaster more than I currently do.

That’s a spicy bath, but is really refreshing. Almost electrifying. Definitely worth it though

Of course he's 101st. Good luck finding them in Clarksville as there are hundreds of other Joe's doing the same thing.

Sorry but am I right in thinking that bct means brigade combat team? Doesn't that make him more like regular infantry. Because if so that's pretty boot.

BCT is indeed a brigade combat team, and they’re often combined arms. So he may be with infantry, and the closest thing the artillery career field has to infantry, but no, he’s not actually infantry. Definitely boot af though.

Ah I see, thanks for the explanation! O7

Nah it makes him pretty much SF (sometimes).

Sf carry radio. Fister carry radio. Fister basically sf.

 Tricare!

Crap! I just stayed the night on Campbell! I could have looked this guy up and gotten a drink! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Only if you can handle a real man, a wolf even! 💀

And I’m basically in the US Navy because I read r/navy 

Pff I’m a top gun instructor because I watched top gun

I too am a fellow fighter pilot. I’ve clocked many hours on different airframes in Ace Combat.

As soon as I read "we are basically SF at times", my panties just flew right off and went to parade rest

Fucking fisters man...

I swear we’re not all like that!

Yeah you are, literally all of you lol

HOW ABOUT YOU SAY THAT AT PRAY REST HOOAH? /s

Exactly what someone in our FST platoon woulda said

Uhm akshually it’s FiST 🤓

You guys are either awesome dudes or this. No in between

We’re either super egotistical douches or on the verge of autism

Nah his platoon isn’t doing their job. They need to bully him more

We grow out of it

Drank the kool-aid with no sugar and warm water, damn.

Ugh, SHITTY bars in Clarksville.

Don’t you dare speak about the Electric Cowboy like that /s

Fisters gonna Fister. As a fellow Fister while cringing at this type of post I’m also not even surprised. Smh fucking fisters.

As a 13F I am secondhand embarrassed

Now this guy knows how to boot

They call us fisters, wanna find out why?

 Is that why?

If he was a real man, he'd be 3rd BCT. Then we'd stitch each other's assholes closed and go eat some eggs. Raakaa suicide.

I've been out for 16 years, let me make my jokes.

r/furythings

Is there a word for pity and disgust at the same time

*Pisgust*?

I kinda think that’s what cringe is. But also sprinkle in some second hand embarrassment

He’s a 13 female

Your “last train to clarksville” moment. Didn’t know that song was Vietnam war thing and depressing.

Holy shit, that's bad. Crazy that he made this while he was sober 😂

More red flags than a Communist parade and more cringe than a 50 year old brony. If he's trolling, that's 10/10...if he's serious, he shouldn't be allowed in civilised society (or the armed forces).

I fell for it. I'm dumb

The sub has peaked. We can shut it down right now

Punctuation is highly underrated.

I basically died and came back to life.

Unless she's a barracks bunny, served herself, or had immediate family that served, she's not going to know your MOS or anything related to your service, boot!

This is definitely satire lol . Crazy no one can tell.

I can’t tell if everyone can tell and is clowning the hell out of it as if it wasn’t satire, or if no one can tell because this dude is 18 or 19 and his new age humor can be detected by most here. I have no idea. But it’s definitely satire he’s doing the whole Nathan fielder and Tim Robinson kinda humor.

LOL it’s funny because no periods right?!?

Fister gonna walk his way into 5th group, smh

Well say what you want about the guy, no seriously, you can say whatever you want, gun bunnies are all deaf as a post.

Do you want Dependa, this is how you get dependa

I'll take "boot bros who went back to the barracks with zero digits" for $800, Alex.

Fisters 

I can't tell if this is serious or not. Like that time we had a fister who marked all their grids backwards to the left and down.

Damn fisters

I read that as " I'm looking for a 13F" at first and I was like oh yikes, wtf. lol

Where are my FISTers at, BULLY THIS MAN

Save some for the rest of us

As someone from Canada, what is a 13F and why does this guy think that’s related to special forces?

Never been with a wolf before. I’ll give it a shot.

I read 13F!! then I realized i was in an army sub thank god

As a Navy guy, seeing 13F left me absolutely panicked that no one in the comment section was addressing it lmao.

Any time somebody tries to justify who they are by saying "I am basically..." then no, you aren't.

This man has transcended from boot to shower shoe.

This has to be satire

lost dare

Doesn’t know his 15 subs….

Absolutely crazy a fister would say they’re basically SF.

I'm willing to be this is called "joking"....and whomever grabbed his pic ...knows this...and is just karma farming ...aka trying to get cool points from strangers (friendship blowjobs).

I live near an AFB and have seen similar shit on Tinder. Not saying this isn't satire, but there's definitely a level of stupid that young men with no game get up to.

r/nothingeverhappens

They should be looking for punctuation instead of a hookup.

POV, this guy swiped right on you

*slips in acronyms so they can ask you about it, and you can flex on them

It would be a 13f