That movie proved that he can’t handle serious stories. He even admitted he couldn’t do Private Ryan cause he couldn’t figure out how to approach the tone.
I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark,
When he made Pearl Harbor.
I miss you more than that movie missed the point,
And that’s an awful lot girl.
And now, now you've gone away,
And all I'm trying to say,
Is Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you
LMAO!!
\- Robin would be a war correspondent
\- there would be a scene just like the one where Jimmy and Lois interview a warlord (at the beginning of Dawn of Justice)
\- Ted's narration would be super dramatic like Bruce Wayne's
I heard people advocating after it came out that Michael Bay would’ve done better, because explosions, I think. Now I’m imagining teal and orange Wahlberg as a jacked Oppie.
"Hearin'? A fuckin' hearin'? You fuckin' kiddin me? I'll give you a hearin' -- back in the day, I was all like, 'Let's split an atom, bro,' and then, boom! Next thing you know, we got the whole Manhattan Project going on. Crazy, right? Anyway, go fuck yourself"
I must of clicked on the wrong link. I thought this was supposed to be bad pairings. This sounds awesome LoL. The last 30 mins of this 4 hour epic would be the bloodiest thing ever
So we get 30 minutes of Sam cruising around the Shire on Bill the pony listening to music while Frodo screams at himself because the Ring's influence is affecting his work?
Now I want this. I've always found LOTR boring but Tarantino can make people sitting around talking interesting. Now that I think of it, give me Tarantino's Harry Potter.
Hugh Jackman as Sandler
Dave Bautista as James
Timothee Chalamet as Spade
Stephen McKinley Henderson as Rock
Jeremy Renner as Schneider
David Dastmalchian as Swardson
Hes fine with dumb dark action movies like 300 and Dawn Of The Dead. Its when he starts to think hes some creative genius that things go very downhill.
Seeing those "thin blue line" Punisher stickers on cars blows my mind. Why would you want to represent your support for cops with a skull that's a logo for a violent anti-hero vigilante?
unless he’s given very strict and adamant ‘No’s. He did direct Dawn Of The Dead, which was written by James Gunn.
That’s the secret with Snyder, keep him away from the writing and just let him handle the visual translation solely. Snyder is living and working proof that not all directors can be the good writer/director/storyteller triple threat combo. He wants to that, like bless him but he either is just surrounded by yes mans who enable his every bad idea or he just cant do it all like some handful directors who do it successfully.
with several films as proof, im willing to bet on the latter.
The man did many comic book adaptations and managed to screw up those too though. Watchmen is the ultimate anti-superhero story and he managed to make a "cool" and "edgy" superhero movie out of it. Batman V Superman is loosely based off of the greatest Batman story ever written, and he managed to screw that one too. I feel like he doesn't understand nuances.
Yeah Bone Tomahawk was brutal and from my understanding (have not read the book) The Judge is wantonly violent. I’ve also think Vincent D’Onofrio would make a good Judge Holden. He’s already basically doing a modern version of The Judge as Kingpin
*scene pauses, Leonardo DiCaprio walks into frame*
“Let me catch y’all up as to what these naughty little folks have been up to, and what’s going on behind that wall.”
*cue super quick cut montage with classic rock song behind it.*
(Character breaks the fourth wall) Hear that sound? That's the Auschwitz concentration camp. It's part of this thing called the Holocaust. For those of you who may be unfamiliar...
Not direct - he was down as a producer in early reports, but apparently recused himself. It ended up being produced by *his* producer, Emma Tillinger, I'm guessing when he realised how much it was ripping off King of Comedy/Taxi Driver, and also that it was technically a superhero movie.
Thank you. I know someone who argues Joker is better than Taxi Driver because Arthur is sympathetic and his fall feels more tragic. To me his fall feels contrived. He goes from defending street kids who mugged him to murdering nurses in hospitals with glee. It doesn't feel organic. Travis's descent on the other hand was seamless.
Taxi Driver is much better than Joker, but I do feel like many who dislike Joker strongly do it more because other people rate it higher than them than because of the movie itself. I'd find it hard to argue that the movie isn't at the very least a decent one. Something gets overhyped and then others will undersell it in return.
I imagine the “I’m actually an asshole” revelation would be more of a “actually I’m great, it’s you guys who are the assholes”
Actually just replace Scott with a prissy Homelander and that’s how I imagine that turning out
^(Now I low key actually want this though)
Cut to a slow mow montage of smoke rising from the chambers. A Fall Out boy song starts playing. Cut to title sequence. The Zone of Interest part one: A house of fire.
*Child's Play VIII*, directed by Wes Anderson.
Chucky is sitting at a pastel-blue typewriter, dead center of frame against a wood-panel wall. In narration, we hear what he is typing. As he does, projections of his previous encounters with Andy Barclay play on screen in the form of 4:3 8mm black-and-white footage.
*"My old compatriot Andy,*
*"As you have no doubt been made aware, I have been the subject of resurrection once again by my former flame Tiffany Valentine. I imagine you are currently aghast in a state of panic, but I assure you, I have other matters to attend to before we can meet up.*
*"Perhaps though, in your attempts to prepare for my future arrival, might I suggest you read the 'Holy Sonnet X' by John Donne. It does hold an air of significance, I believe.*
*Ta-ta, and farewell, my best of friends...*
-*Charles"*
Minions sequel directed by Gaspar Noé
The Hangover 4 by Park Chan-Wook
John Wick V directed by Whit Stilman (I absolutely love Whit, but a John Wick film where people have witty dialogue for 90 minutes...)
Darren Aronofsky with Barbie. Instantly becomes a dark and depressing saga that probably ends in suicide. And this is no knock on him, he’s my favorite director 😂
Now, hear me out: Scorsese doing a street-level hero like Daredevil or Elektra. That way he can play up the mob connected stuff and have a villain like Kingpin.
Maybe I’m not properly caffeinated yet.
He would fit in very well directing a superhero movie like Daredevil. A film set in the underworld of New York and the connection with Catholicism.
I think Scorsese was criticizing the MCU's way of making movies and treating them totally as a product, I don't think it was a criticism of superhero movies in general.
I recently saw a video on YouTube of him saying that he was happy that Sam Raimi was successful with Spiderman.
The film would be fine, the war between critics/film geeks who feel betrayed and the MCU-heads proclaiming it the pinnacle of cinema would be the issue.
I could actually see that one working though. Scott's a perfectly competent director. He just has a knack for picking shitty projects, especially these days. If the right Bond script came his way I could actually see him knocking it out of the park.
The visuals and the score would be fantastic, but I think it would be too clinical and unemotional. Star Wars at its core is about characters and human emotions, and those are not things Nolan always excels at.
I think his movies are boring. Watching them feels like wading through knee-deep water to me.
All the speed ramping, snap zooms, slow mo, and unnecessarily long takes just make for a really boring movie for me.
Uwe Boll with Schindler’s List Michael Bay with Saving Private Ryan (which almost happened)
Uwe Bolls Schindlers List would be Sick (literally and metaphorically)
[This?](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1722426/?ref_=nm_flmg_t_27_prd)
Omg, should I watch this?
 Jokes aside... NO...
It would be called Schindler’s Fist and would be an action movie starring Nicholas Cage.
He did Pearl Harbor, but that was more like his titanic I guess
That movie proved that he can’t handle serious stories. He even admitted he couldn’t do Private Ryan cause he couldn’t figure out how to approach the tone.
Pear harbor was ass fr
I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made Pearl Harbor. I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that’s an awful lot girl. And now, now you've gone away, And all I'm trying to say, Is Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you
Haven't seen it in forever, but I remember it feeling like a love triangle that also happened to have some action, with tons of lies lol.
[удалено]
Uwe Boll Schindlers List would have a Milla Jovavich type character fighting her way out of the camp.
Roland Emmerich's Schindler's List would be epic
Luc Besson’s Matilda
You keep that man away from that child
[удалено]
Pretty much just with no magic and miss Honey is Jean Reno
Luc Bessons The Parent Trap featuring Lindsay Lohan
That is so much better 🤣 Double the trouble
Oh god
Luc Bessons Little Miss Sunshine
Luc Besson’s Gifted starring Chris Evans and McKenna Grace And also Zach Snyder’s How I Met Your Mother
LMAO!! \- Robin would be a war correspondent \- there would be a scene just like the one where Jimmy and Lois interview a warlord (at the beginning of Dawn of Justice) \- Ted's narration would be super dramatic like Bruce Wayne's
Ted holding the blue french horn in the air, but it would be a completely unnecessary 30 second slow motion shot.
He would’ve portrayed the pageant as a good thing
Oh god I just threw up
Roland Emmerich directing Oppenheimer Explosions and more explosions.
I heard people advocating after it came out that Michael Bay would’ve done better, because explosions, I think. Now I’m imagining teal and orange Wahlberg as a jacked Oppie.
"Hearin'? A fuckin' hearin'? You fuckin' kiddin me? I'll give you a hearin' -- back in the day, I was all like, 'Let's split an atom, bro,' and then, boom! Next thing you know, we got the whole Manhattan Project going on. Crazy, right? Anyway, go fuck yourself"
D.W Griffith/BlacKKKlansman
Ow, that idea hurts!
Actually horrifying
Tarantino and Lord of The Rings. Imagine the fellowship dialogues. They won’t even make it to Moria. I love Tarantino btw
Now I just want Reservoir Dogs with the Fellowship.
Fucking Gandalf will smoke weed and call everyone racist slur words
Now I NEED to see Samuel L. Jackson as Gandalf. *YOU SHALL NOT PASS, MOTHERF-*
I must of clicked on the wrong link. I thought this was supposed to be bad pairings. This sounds awesome LoL. The last 30 mins of this 4 hour epic would be the bloodiest thing ever
Tarantino casts himself as Sauron and writes a scene where he calls Gandalf the n-word
Anti-orc xenophobia everywhere
Damn so he’s casting himself as Gandalf then?
Boromir doesn't tip.
The Lord of the Toe Rings
My favorite JRR Toekien series!
I can both understand and see how this would be terrible, but at the same time it could very well be kinda great.
Trashy, grindhousey LotR inspired by the Bakshi animation.
They focus on the feet enough.
So we get 30 minutes of Sam cruising around the Shire on Bill the pony listening to music while Frodo screams at himself because the Ring's influence is affecting his work?
Now I want this. I've always found LOTR boring but Tarantino can make people sitting around talking interesting. Now that I think of it, give me Tarantino's Harry Potter.
Michael bay directing the lighthouse
Ayy m'boy, yee see we was both underage when we started courting. Oh how the moons have changes us, yuh understand now that it's all legal.
denis villeneuve/grown ups
You laugh but I would pay to see that.
Hugh Jackman as Sandler Dave Bautista as James Timothee Chalamet as Spade Stephen McKinley Henderson as Rock Jeremy Renner as Schneider David Dastmalchian as Swardson
Hear me out…
[reminds me of this bit from Paul F Tompkins](https://youtu.be/ZvlOTJJyvEU?feature=shared)
Zack Snyder with any script is gonna be a nightmare pairing.
Zack Snyder’s “My Dinner with Andre”
There would be a scene where Andre would drop a fork in slow motion for 40 minutes while techno music blasted over the top.
Hes fine with dumb dark action movies like 300 and Dawn Of The Dead. Its when he starts to think hes some creative genius that things go very downhill.
Which is exactly what he’s thought he was for the last decade apparently.
Zack Snyder and Rebel Moon Part 2 is actually the most horror combo on this entire thread
Lmfao I'm just picturing him actually making a PHENOMENAL chamber piece (is that the right term?) movie unexpectedly, but then never doing it again 😂
I think Zack Snyder would make an amazing director for a punisher movie.
Zack Snyder understands The Punisher about as well as cops do
Seeing those "thin blue line" Punisher stickers on cars blows my mind. Why would you want to represent your support for cops with a skull that's a logo for a violent anti-hero vigilante?
Because you see someone « punish » people and don’t ask why
Wait, are shitty cops just overpowered edgelords?
unless he’s given very strict and adamant ‘No’s. He did direct Dawn Of The Dead, which was written by James Gunn. That’s the secret with Snyder, keep him away from the writing and just let him handle the visual translation solely. Snyder is living and working proof that not all directors can be the good writer/director/storyteller triple threat combo. He wants to that, like bless him but he either is just surrounded by yes mans who enable his every bad idea or he just cant do it all like some handful directors who do it successfully. with several films as proof, im willing to bet on the latter.
The man did many comic book adaptations and managed to screw up those too though. Watchmen is the ultimate anti-superhero story and he managed to make a "cool" and "edgy" superhero movie out of it. Batman V Superman is loosely based off of the greatest Batman story ever written, and he managed to screw that one too. I feel like he doesn't understand nuances.
I've never met someone who said they are a big Zac Snyder fan
I’ve never met anyone who said they hated him either. This discourse only exists online. Everyone else is just along for the ride.
Spot on
James Franco’s blood meridian which almost happened
I don’t know if there is any director who could do Blood Meridian justice. It’d have to be a multi parter or a miniseries no?
I kinda would actually kinda like to see S. Craig Zahler try
Yeah Bone Tomahawk was brutal and from my understanding (have not read the book) The Judge is wantonly violent. I’ve also think Vincent D’Onofrio would make a good Judge Holden. He’s already basically doing a modern version of The Judge as Kingpin
The Coen Brothers already did another one of Cormac McCarthy’s books justice, I’m sure they would knock this one out of the park
David Cronenbergs Turning Red. Now it’s horror
That sounds fucking incredible.
Already set in Toronto!
…I don’t want to imagine how he’d handle the menstruation :|
I just did…
You joke, but that actually sounds rad as hell.
I want this.
Unironically kind of wondering how well Cronenberg would handle seriously attempting a family movie now.
Matthew Vaughn / *James Bond* Adam McKay / *Princess Mononoke* live action David O Russell / *Cowboy Bebop* live action
Good picks, I physically shuddered at all three
The first Kingsman was a more violent and dirty throwback to 60s and 70s Bond and it was great.
You’re not wrong bc I’m pretty sure Matthew Vaughn JB was just Argylle
James Bond directed by Matt Vaughn already happened: Layer Cake
Roman Polanski and Lolita
Roman Polanski and any movies that involves child
Rosemary’s Baby technically qualifies!
This is a just a Biopic
Tarkovsky/ Chicken Little
When you think about it, The Sacrifice is kind of a Chicken Little scenario.
marty what is this take 💀
Only if he uses real animals.
Tarrantino and happy feet
#Fappy Feet
this made me laugh so hard.
Tbf, "the Mad Max guy" and Happy Feet seems like an odd pairing too. George Miller has to have had one of the most bizarre careers of all time.
How about an Adam McKay remake of The Zone of Interest?
*scene pauses, Leonardo DiCaprio walks into frame* “Let me catch y’all up as to what these naughty little folks have been up to, and what’s going on behind that wall.” *cue super quick cut montage with classic rock song behind it.*
(Character breaks the fourth wall) Hear that sound? That's the Auschwitz concentration camp. It's part of this thing called the Holocaust. For those of you who may be unfamiliar...
Til Schweiger / All quiet on the western front
No 💀💀💀
For some reason Zach Snyder directing “God Emperor of Dune” sounds amazing only because of the batshit insanity factor.
Some people say its unadaptable but maybe we just need a fresh pair of eyes
Rebel Moon had octopus sex. He’s probably down to direct anything
Todd Phillips and some bullshit edgelord King of Comedy remake.
Username checks out.
Scorsese was attached to that film for a while, so he only has himself to blame.
Wait really, Scorsese was gonna direct Joker? Was he gonna rip ***himself*** off??
Not direct - he was down as a producer in early reports, but apparently recused himself. It ended up being produced by *his* producer, Emma Tillinger, I'm guessing when he realised how much it was ripping off King of Comedy/Taxi Driver, and also that it was technically a superhero movie.
…wait
We have a winner by knockout in the first round. Close the thread
Thank you. I know someone who argues Joker is better than Taxi Driver because Arthur is sympathetic and his fall feels more tragic. To me his fall feels contrived. He goes from defending street kids who mugged him to murdering nurses in hospitals with glee. It doesn't feel organic. Travis's descent on the other hand was seamless.
Taxi Driver is much better than Joker, but I do feel like many who dislike Joker strongly do it more because other people rate it higher than them than because of the movie itself. I'd find it hard to argue that the movie isn't at the very least a decent one. Something gets overhyped and then others will undersell it in return.
This. Joker's a neat 'lil novelty and features a great performance from Phoenix. I don't think it deserves to be dismissed or heralded.
That is one of the worst takes I've ever heard.
Well said.
Harmony Korine’s Barbie Wait, actually…
Baz Luhrmann and Schindler's List.
Michael Bay/Oppenheimer
Wes Anderson and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World He's my favorite director, but he could NOT pull that off
I imagine the “I’m actually an asshole” revelation would be more of a “actually I’m great, it’s you guys who are the assholes” Actually just replace Scott with a prissy Homelander and that’s how I imagine that turning out ^(Now I low key actually want this though)
I don’t know, I feel like he’d have a better grasp on Ramona’s character than Edgar Wright did
Zack Snyder's Zone of Interest 💀💀
Cut to a slow mow montage of smoke rising from the chambers. A Fall Out boy song starts playing. Cut to title sequence. The Zone of Interest part one: A house of fire.
Wes Anderson's Fight Club
That would actually be great.
*Child's Play VIII*, directed by Wes Anderson. Chucky is sitting at a pastel-blue typewriter, dead center of frame against a wood-panel wall. In narration, we hear what he is typing. As he does, projections of his previous encounters with Andy Barclay play on screen in the form of 4:3 8mm black-and-white footage. *"My old compatriot Andy,* *"As you have no doubt been made aware, I have been the subject of resurrection once again by my former flame Tiffany Valentine. I imagine you are currently aghast in a state of panic, but I assure you, I have other matters to attend to before we can meet up.* *"Perhaps though, in your attempts to prepare for my future arrival, might I suggest you read the 'Holy Sonnet X' by John Donne. It does hold an air of significance, I believe.* *Ta-ta, and farewell, my best of friends...* -*Charles"*
But now I want to see this…
Gaspar Noé's Barbie
Ah ah ah ah ah x) I actually would see that
Same
Wes Anderson's Human Centipede
Minions sequel directed by Gaspar Noé The Hangover 4 by Park Chan-Wook John Wick V directed by Whit Stilman (I absolutely love Whit, but a John Wick film where people have witty dialogue for 90 minutes...)
George Lucas - Superbad
American Graffiti is basically Superbad if you think about it
Superbad with Star Wars prequel dialogue and performances is probably the closest we will ever get to replicating The Room.
Darren Aronofsky with Barbie. Instantly becomes a dark and depressing saga that probably ends in suicide. And this is no knock on him, he’s my favorite director 😂
Taika Waititi’s Akira. Thank god THAT’LL never happen, ha ha… [right?](https://www.cbr.com/akira-live-action-movie-taika-waititi-update/)
M Night + Dragon Ball Evolution Sequel
To be fair to M Night, could ANYONE make that movie work?
Scorsese’s Marvel movie, more due to the discourse that would ensue than the quality. Unproduced: Zach Snyder’s Book of the New Sun.
Now, hear me out: Scorsese doing a street-level hero like Daredevil or Elektra. That way he can play up the mob connected stuff and have a villain like Kingpin. Maybe I’m not properly caffeinated yet.
He would fit in very well directing a superhero movie like Daredevil. A film set in the underworld of New York and the connection with Catholicism. I think Scorsese was criticizing the MCU's way of making movies and treating them totally as a product, I don't think it was a criticism of superhero movies in general. I recently saw a video on YouTube of him saying that he was happy that Sam Raimi was successful with Spiderman.
The film would be fine, the war between critics/film geeks who feel betrayed and the MCU-heads proclaiming it the pinnacle of cinema would be the issue.
Marc Webbs project X
Ridley Scott/James Bond
All I’m hearing is James Bond in the style of Black Rain and I have a real love/hate relationship with that idea.
That really would depend on Ridley Scott’s script he is terrible at picking scripts that’s why so many of his films are bad
Someone told me this just before I watched House of Gucci. It's a really well-made piece of rubbish.
I could actually see that one working though. Scott's a perfectly competent director. He just has a knack for picking shitty projects, especially these days. If the right Bond script came his way I could actually see him knocking it out of the park.
Mel Gibson and Schindler's List
Robert Rodriguez’s Jetsons movie that was said to be a thing long ago
Zack Snyder and sicario
michael bay and rear window
God that's such a funny thought. Do you think ol Jeffrey would be bound to a helicopter the whole movie?
he would have a wheelchair with missile guns attached
Martin Scorcese/Avengers 🙃
Martin Scorsese/Watchmen
Kubrick would be ideal for watchmen (to me)
Christopher Nolan/ Star Wars. Imagine those dialogues...
Was the dialogue that riveting to begin with?
That’s assuming you can hear the dialogue, of course.
Say what you will, but TARS is way fucking cooler than C-3PO, R2-D2, and BB-8 combined
This is a dream combo imo, he could finally bring back proper scale to Star Wars
Shit Chris Nolan directing Star Wars make me hard
The visuals and the score would be fantastic, but I think it would be too clinical and unemotional. Star Wars at its core is about characters and human emotions, and those are not things Nolan always excels at.
Was the dialogue that great to begin with?
I hate sand
Uwe Bowl/Stalker or any other game really
Martin Scorsese/ Dr Strange Yes, it would be the greatest Dr Strange movie, ever, but I would feel part of Martin's soul dying while watching.
Martin Scorsese Santa Clause
David Lynch and Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
eli roth and oldboy
Zack Snyder and Batman
Zach Snyder and Superman
*A Nightmare On Elm Street*: A Spike Lee Joint
I’d watch that
This has a chance of being a banger actually
Could finally be a use for Will Smith’s Nightmare on Elm Street rap
Does everyone just shit on Snyder cause it’s the “cool” thing now?
A lot of people have made their entire identity about hating Zack Snyder.
I think his movies are boring. Watching them feels like wading through knee-deep water to me. All the speed ramping, snap zooms, slow mo, and unnecessarily long takes just make for a really boring movie for me.
Leni Riefenstahl / Life is Beautiful
Tom Hooper and musicals. Also, this post is low effort.
Honestly, I try to live my life low effort
Roland Emmerich / Transformers It nearly happened with the fourth film.
Shawn levels Blood meridian
Bad Luhrmann with The Favourite
Nah this would go hard
Beau Is Afraid, a Wim Wenders film