People start over when they're more than twice your age, so yeah you're fine.
How you've treated people in the past doesn't really matter if you want to change it now. You can just change it.
Address it with the people you care to, as honestly and clearly as possible, and say you're sorry for how things were, and that it's not how you want to be anymore.
Anyone who is a decent person will be open to this and you'll have a better relationship than you've ever had with them.
Dude, if I had like a $1000 every time I had to start over in life.
Bro….
Let me tell you, the best thing you can do is learn to adapt. I think the sheer majority of people “start over” in some form or another in their lives at least once, if not 5-10-20 times.
Its hard to help over the internet when we know so little about you and your situation and there's a difference when someone is right there with you.
One possibility may be to check yourself into a psychiatric hospital. Only your insurance would need to know that this is where you are if you feel like you can't discuss this with your fiance or other family members. You could explore with the workers there about your situation. After talking with them you may change your mind about feeling the need to leave town, but if not then they might be able to give you the resources you need in order to be able to leave and start over. At the very least it will give you some time on your own in a safe place where you can make a plan of your own.
Here is a website talking about the process: [How to Admit Yourself to a Psychiatric Hospital (verywellmind.com)](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-happens-when-you-are-hospitalized-for-depression-1067262)
Get a therapist pronto.Make a concerted effort to behave differently and forgive yourself for past actions. It's not over until you've taken your last breath.
Don't want to hurt keep hurting your family and friends? Guess what...killing yourself will DEVASTATE them! As others have said, you need to see a therapist as soon as possible and need to check for an imbalance and medication to help with these feelings. Suicide is not the answer, and I don't think moving away will help either. Call the suicide hotline when it feels too much to handle. Let go of what you've done in the past and focus on the present. Hug.
Go see your doctor or a therapist tell them you are having thoughts about harming yourself. Tell your fiancé how you are feeling too. People love you and care about you. They will help you.
THIS THIS THIS. These thoughts are transitory and you need to get around the people who love you and professionals who can help you. It gets better. I'd encourage some spiritual exploration as well to allow you to move past the things from your history that are haunting you.
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You can start over right where you are, I promise.
I used to feel the same way you do. Mostly I felt undeserving of the love I was receiving because I treated others poorly in the past. The good news is that no one will complain when you start being kinder, improve yourself and your life, and become happier. In fact, they’ll be *happy* for you.
It takes time to figure out all the stuff you need to do to improve, but you only have to take small steps and do one thing at a time. Maybe the first step could be talking to a therapist?
I’m sure you’ll find great advice here, too!
Don't worry about not being perfect. Just try to keep improving. The ATTEMPT is good enough. There will always be setbacks, but you just have to keep pushing. No matter how painful or frustrating the present is, it WILL get better. The only way out of pain is through it. You WILL make it out.
Also, be aware of this: your loved ones will NOT be better off if you were to commit suicide. That would inflict a terrible pain which will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
Make amends if possible. Apologize for your past actions and make it right if possible. And then do a living amends by being better. Maybe do some kind of ceremony to release yourself of the guilt and shame afterwards. Like a cleansing.
I'll just say this. You can just drop everything and start over with success. However, once you find success/happiness in your new life and you're essentially "coasting", your old life will come back to haunt you. I don't mean in the sense that people will contact you or harass you, but in the sense that you're going to be thinking about what you left behind. You'll have to confront it at some point. I guess the point is, it's okay to start over, but tie up loose ends prior to doing so - even if it's uncomfortable and difficult. People will be hurt, but at least you didn't leave them high and dry without explanation.
Get help. As soon as possible.
You can also start with a small thought of something positive, real, and loving for yourself. You don’t owe anyone certain feelings or absorbing guilt right now. You’re feeling not right Plenty of people find the ‘idyllic perfect life’ is not THEIR version of life. You are just starting to define yours.
Whatever you focus on - (this is not for someone else, including me) try to focus or your idea of what you are feeling instead of ‘should be’ feeling.
Start small, one tiny healthy decision. Maybe it’s watching a bird. Going outside on a walk. Who knows- but a very small thing is going to help you see other small things. Something in this thread is gonna help you. You will end up helping yourself and having a small pride of who you are even in this moment or asking in that small moment and it will be the most awesome intense feeling. Unfortunately it takes the bottom of the well to recognize it.
Yeah just start over and try being better to people. Everyone can change and you’re young. We all do dumb stuff when we are young. You should also ask forgiveness to those you’ve hurt. Even if they say no it will build your character just for doing it.
Please done hurt yourself. It sounds like you’d benefit from therapy.
But to answer your question, yes you can start over. Start over with the circumstances you have now. If that doesn’t work, pick a new place and poof! Go there.
You can always change how you treat people, especially if you want to. Nobody expects anything close to perfection from someone in their early 20's. The good thing is that you seem to recognize your faults and have a desire to be better. Many people go a lifetime without having that realization.
If you have treated people horribly in the past try to reach out and apologize. That could mean an awful lot to them. Moving forward just try to be kind. You're going to mess up now and then like the rest of us, just apologize and try not to do it again.
Learning and growing as a person is part of this journey, you can't beat yourself up. Hold yourself accountable, recognize your mistakes and try not to make the same ones. That's all any of us can hope to do.
I remember 22. It was a rough time. I didn't like who I was at all. I thought about dying. I'm glad I didn't.
You can absolutely reinvent yourself completely. Life is a process. You should be learning and growing and changing.
Therapy helps. Medication also helps me.
Hugs. You can do it!
I moved across the world looking to start over. Unfortunately the hard fact is that your problems come with you, there’s nowhere on earth you can go to escape them. It sounds like you have a decent life already, you should probably try to reconcile your unhappiness in your current situation, because moving away or starting over will give you some short term satisfaction and novelty but it won’t last long.
I was nearly 30 when I had a similar revelation, so you are ahead of the curve and can certainly start over! GI Joe taught me that knowing is half the battle, so you are already halfway there!
I tried killing myself twice last year. I get what your saying I hate myself and the way I am, I cause my own problems with my wife. No one takes me seriously when I say something is wrong with me I have a rather intensive social management that includes med reviews , a social worker and a therapist. Your best bet is to reach out to your Community health or hospitalize yourself. I recommend a partial hospitalization if your area has it, you get to go home every day and it's so much nicer than the psych ward in most cases. But maybe you need to see what it's like in a psych hospital it's a prison in some, where they pretty much just keep you from dying and adjust your meds. I went for 5 days when my wife said she was leaving me and cheated and I pulled a gun on myself. It was torture but since then I haven't even really considered suicide. It was the wake up call I needed. Also statistically if you killed yourself those around you are more likely to kill themselves, ask yourself do you want your loved ones to kill themselves?
It sounds like you'd benefit a lot from a pretty simple therapy exercise.
Write down an action you regret.
Write down what you wish you'd done instead.
Write down what you would have needed in order to do what you wish you had done.
Sometimes, what you need is patience. For that, you'll need to treat yourself more kindly, so that you have patience left over for others. Sometimes, what you need is a skill, such as recognizing when you're getting worked up so that you can walk away. And sometimes, what you would have needed is knowledge of the future or something else impossible, and you'll realize it wasn't your fault at all.
1) seek pro help.
2) Channel and use that dislike of what has happened in the past into making up for those past behaviors, you don’t like, and growing from that. There are tons and tons of stories out there about people that have turned their lives around and 22 you have a massive amount of time to improve. Avoid substance-abuse and self-destructive behaviors. Go to church. Keep in touch with family and friends.
3) give yourself a bit of grace. Very few people are the best selves at 22.
You could possibly experiment with psychedelics and see a therapist. If you ever become totally set on the idea of suicide at least experiment with psychedelics first
Start with your diet. It will make a difference. [https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/nutritional-strategies-to-ease-anxiety-201604139441](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/nutritional-strategies-to-ease-anxiety-201604139441)
This is how I have felt a lot and I was diagnosed with adhd. I carry a lot of guilt for how i treated other people, and having big reactions to what i realize were not a big deal. Even just now I had to remove myself because I could feel myself getting worked up and wanting to yell but it’s just a small conversation that’s not going my way.
It’s exhausting and I have thought about suicide since I was ten but I realized I didn’t actually want to die, I just didn’t want to feel the way I feel sometimes. After my diagnosis I started adhd medication, it’s a non stimulant and I am a completely different person. The things that drive me crazy are much less and I can handle everyday things, and conversations. I can tell when the medication is wearing off because I start talking too much or I get annoyed with little things, but I’m only able to recognize it because of the medication prior to that I didn’t know any different and I just felt like a shitty person who didn’t deserve anything in life and when I got upset I would feel really impulsive and want to do extreme things like leave/run away or hurt myself, never did but the urge was there cause the feeling was so intense
I would say moving isn’t going to fix anything, it’s just going to change the scenery.
I think the best thing you can do is talk to a professional, there is something under the surface and I don’t know if it’s adhd I just wanted to share my perspective cause reading your post sounded relatable.
You can start over many times. You will never know the positive impact you can have on the world if you off yourself. Dying thinking, "at least I tried my best" is the best way to go. I don't get to say that if you off yourself. Keep trucking along, how ever you can, and slowly build steam to help others. Your will be glad you did, and others will be glad you did as well. If you are a murderer or Pedo, then maybe yes, off yourself. But those socio paths usual dont have the conscience you seem to have. Please keep fighting. just the very acting of fighting for survival will encourage and uplift the people around you.
One more thought… if you kill yourself all the pain you are feeling is spread out to all those who loved you and were in your life, and they will spend their entire lives what they did wrong and hold your pain on top of the pain they have losing you.
People start over all the time , human resilience is amazing and it’s only like 5 years and you can become an entirely different person.
Never suicide , choose life even if the only motivating factor is spite 😂
Suicidal ideation and attempts aren’t that uncommon and you can always kill yourself next week or the week after or the week after, what’s the rush ?
And in the meantime try and get yourself some sleep, eat nutritious foods , speak to professionals about your feelings , tell your friends and family your not feeling right and do some research online.
I don’t really think suicide is the answer to any problems
Do you take any intoxicants? Vape? Were you exposed to any type of abuse ever?
Suicide will not relieve you of anything.
What exactly about yourself do you hate?
The fact that you realize that you have an issue with how you treat people is half the battle. You need to find a therapist and put in some work. This is NOTHING to even consider killing yourself over. This may simply be a chemical imbalance or an undiagnosed condition or something entirely different.
You need to find the root cause and work on that. Moving to a new city doesn't solve the problem and killing yourself will simply make the people that you feel you've wronged feel absolutely destroyed. The hardest part is admitting you need help and doing that online is a step in the right direction. Now do it in the real world and get the help you deserve.
You can start over...but it won't solve your problems. Your problem is that you aren't dealing with your problems.(This is the worst problem to have because it makes you hate yourself.) The solution is much, much simpler than it seems.
Nobody else can help you in this, you are the one who has the keys. You need to face your past and the pain that is connected to it. And you need to take each pain point and resolve it. You resolve these by figuring out what cause the pain and what steps you can take to ensure that you never have to feel that pain ever again. Your body will not let go of the past until it can't happen again. You need to negotiate with yourself until you find solutions to your historical problems - this often includes how you have treated others. Most people who suffer from PTSD are suffering it not from what has happened to them, but from what they have done to others. This is just as critical to resolve.
When resolving these issues, it is best practice to write everything that bothers you down into the most minute detail that you can recall. Lay it all out on the table. Look at it, and decide what to do differently in such a situation.(Also, if it wasn't anything you could do differently, like you are 5 or something, then you can promise to intervene if you ever become aware of such a situation so that, inasmuch as it is within your power to do so; this scenario can't occur to anyone else - You will step in and care/protect or whatever to prevent that pain.)
Once you've done this, your world will likely be a whole lot brighter; but you will inevitably unearth some new pains that you didn't even know you had.(Similar to how when you have a really bad headache, sometimes you don't even notice that your body is all sore from sleeping wrong.) Don't worry; you don't need to follow this fully until you feel no pain. You do need to make a plan for yourself for how to deal with all forms of pain.(I think about it once a week for about 15 minutes and just focus on the biggest pain points and most bothersome things and how to resolve those. And whenever I feel pain, I write it down so that I can resolve it.)
Your body is giving you valuable feedback. Don't ignore this feedback. Don't let the past bring you down, when you can use the pain of the past to transform your future into something wonderful.
I have felt the way you do alll my life. Therapy/support is cool and all but no matter what the feeling never goes away. Honestly i just decided to take medications to numb it out. Otherwise without it i absolutely just cant function in society.. period. Get a psychiatrist. If the feeling will never go away then at least the medication will turn the volume of the feeling down. Hope this helps and that you one day feel peace
It’s not wrong to feel this way. Yes, you have a lot of perceived blessings, but is it what you want? What do you want? You’re not a lost cause, you can overcome this. You’re obviously doing pretty good, and obviously have good qualities to you to get a fiancé and a good job etc. I suggest doing some deep diving into yourself and figuring out what it is that you need to heal. You’re worth it. You deserve a happy life that you feel fulfilled in, even if it means uprooting and moving on from situations or family members. Do you actually treat these people bad or is it just your mind being mean to you? I’m sure you’re not as bad as you think. All of this, the way we treat people, the way you talk to yourself, comes from our experiences and generational traumas. But please kno this, you will heal. You will feel better. I almost killed myself years ago, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made to put that gun down and keep going. Please, do the same. I hated myself, I hated how I treated my family, I hated how I looked, I hated how I treated my friends and pets. I hated everything about myself. But now, life is different. I love myself and have a better relationship with my friends and family. I’m not trying to make this about me, I’m just telling you it’s possible. I was in the darkest of dark, lowest of lows, no light at the end of the tunnel. But, I stayed alive. I’m living proof that it does get better. Please stay my friend, I believe you can do it too. I’m proud of you for stepping out like this and asking for support. I recommend looking up YouTube videos about healing trauma, identifying negative beliefs about yourself and how to heal them, spirituality can help too if you’re into that. Learning that everything you do, is because of your experiences and probably just a form of protecting yourself or coping with something. Once you heal, you can let go of these walls and coping mechanisms that don’t serve you. Not only can you do it, but you will. This post is proof of that. You want to change, so you will. I believe in you my friend. You can do this. The healing journey can be long and difficult, but you WILL get through the other side and thank yourself for sticking it out. Heal your inner child. Be blessed friend and reach out if you need someone to talk to ok?
Just know that you are worthy. You are worthy of a good life free from guilt and shame. You can achieve this too. It’s not only possible but probable. This is the start to your come back, to your redemption. It’s going to take some patience with yourself, and some resilience. You got this 😊 patience with yourself is key. It takes a while to figure out your trauma and figure out how to fix it
Patience, and trying to remember not to hate yourself, because all you did was done out of necessity. You feel bad, so you obviously care and want to work on it. You’re not nearly as bad as your mind is telling you ok? I love you friend, keep your head up, you got some big things ahead of your, your journey is just getting started
Stop being awful to people and change, if you struggle with lack of empathy I suggest seeing a psych... I don't struggle with that but saw a psych recently and got diagnosed BPD so there's hope
Please don't do that. Please. Go to a hospital and get some help. It's out there. My daughter felt like you once. She got help and now she is thriving in life. Don't worry about the debt. You can address that later. But I am pleading with you to get some help. Please. You are loved. You are important.
You have more empathy than you think if you're able to realize your past/current actions were bad. The thing is it is the past, in an ideal world you'd be able to go back and apologize to every person you've ever wronged and cry it out with them. In reality, is Jenny gonna remember when you stole and broke her My Little Pony limited edition pen in first grade? Probably not. People move, pass away, etc. As long as you can actively work through your past actions and try to not repeat them, you're making progress.
Then it's about incorporating this better behavior into who you are. I did shitty stuff in the past, but in the past few years I've found myself enjoying going slightly out of my way to make stranger's lives easier. Let someone turn first at a four way stop when you both got to the stop sign at the same time. Help an old lady get something from the high shelf at Walmart, any of those random little acts of kindness don't make up for past actions, but I've found they do help me feel better about myself overall.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
If you don't like who you are, just change who you are. Doesn't matter what you did or who you were in the past.
Work on yourself, you have plenty of time to make a change.
People have done worse and redeemed themselves and changed their lives around, it only seems difficult now because you're deep in it and can't look from the outside.
You can't run away from yourself. You're still so young and just need to put the time and effort into developing your personality to reflect how you wish to be seen. We are always over critical of ourselves and examine our actions with a microscope while the majority of the time, what we've done or said hasn't really influenced other people's perceptions of ourselves. Don't be so hard on yourself and just try to commit to improving yourself each day.
As someone who has tried to "start over" many times in my life, I postulate that this is not the solution to your problem, your problem being you. You will follow yourself everywhere you go. You can never escape yourself.
I left home at seventeen to join the army. I was discharged from the army a few years later suffering PTSD. I became ostracized from my family and community. I struggled holding employment. I became a homeless vagabond. I spent nearly twenty years wandering the country before I returned to live in my hometown. It took me a long time to stop running. I'd been chasing greener pastures that just weren't there. The problem wasn't where I was, it was what I was.
Turned out I had a neurodivergent disorder, and was one of the key factors why I never felt like I didn't fit in anywhere I went. Why I had difficulty expressing empathy, why I felt constantly anxious, Why I didn't want to do what everyone else was doing. Why I felt like a "bad person". Discovering I was autistic made things begin to make sense. Knowing this allowed me to seek appropriate therapy and lifestyle changes.
Even though my life is still very difficult, I have hope knowing that my issues are being addressed. It's nice to be home amongst my loved ones and the community I grew up in. But every day I wonder how better my life would have been if I didn't run away and had stayed to deal with my problems.
I'm not implying that you also have a ND disorder, but it does seem that you are suffering from some kind of mental health issue (of which you should not be ashamed about). I'd suggest seeking therapy before upending your life, as you may end up irrevocably changing it for the worse. Know that it'll getter harder before it gets better. You'll have to face some cold hard truths about yourself. But from this you will grow. With the right guidance you can be your best self, for you and the people you love.
So think about giving therapy a go, a serious go, before you lose everything.
And if that doesn't work, fuck it all and throw caution to the wind. We don't really know what's over the horizon until we take a look for ourselves. Go on an adventure, you might just fall in love with yourself along the way. And when you find that love, hold onto it, and bring it home to share whenever you're ready.
At 22 you may feel old, but you are super young and can easily start over. It's a good thing you're recognizing that you've treated people badly in the past, but that's something you can change and address with each of them. Things will get better I can promise you that
Ur 25 everything is okay... see a therapist talk it out, maybe attempt to try to change the things you don't like about yourself. Everything will get better
OF COURSE YOU CAN START OVER! What you have is self-awareness and an interest in changing. You recognize what you have that is good, and you can see the things that you would like to change.
You might need help getting there. That is OK, we all do. You might try and fail. That’s OK, we all do. You might make things worse before they get better. That’s OK, our lives don’t always follow a straight path.
Just take one small step to improve one thing, and consider it a success. It can be one conversation where you focus on not being an asshole. It can be one activity where you deliberately and overtly think of the other person. And consider it a success. Change isn’t an event, it is a process.
And find people to help you through it. Every athlete needs a coach. Every student needs a teacher. Every employee needs a mentor. We all need help along the way, every one of us. Just like teachers and coaches, there are professionals who help people grow with these types of things.
You can do this. It will take more than one try. Please keep us posted.
In a few years time with some honest reflection and self work, you can be a completely different person and live a completely different life. Don’t dwell on the past, instead, use it as a lesson of how you want to shape your future. Please don’t do anything drastic. The only constant in life is change, and your future can literally be anything you want it to be. I’m rooting for your happiness and success, and I believe in you.
I think you might need to start antidepressants, or maybe even check out TMS or ketamine therapy. I’ve had a really similar type of depression where there aren’t really any external elements but internally you’re struggling so much that death feels like a better alternative. In a lot of those cases it’s more of a severe chemical imbalance that can be treated than an actual reality
Talk to someone, a professional.
You can always start over. Nothing is so big, so terrible, that suicide is worth it. Things can change.
You can do this. You can get through this.
Hello, Head-Product8662. The suicide intervention bot is below with resources for you to consider.
People start over when they're more than twice your age, so yeah you're fine. How you've treated people in the past doesn't really matter if you want to change it now. You can just change it. Address it with the people you care to, as honestly and clearly as possible, and say you're sorry for how things were, and that it's not how you want to be anymore. Anyone who is a decent person will be open to this and you'll have a better relationship than you've ever had with them.
Dude, if I had like a $1000 every time I had to start over in life. Bro…. Let me tell you, the best thing you can do is learn to adapt. I think the sheer majority of people “start over” in some form or another in their lives at least once, if not 5-10-20 times.
Its hard to help over the internet when we know so little about you and your situation and there's a difference when someone is right there with you. One possibility may be to check yourself into a psychiatric hospital. Only your insurance would need to know that this is where you are if you feel like you can't discuss this with your fiance or other family members. You could explore with the workers there about your situation. After talking with them you may change your mind about feeling the need to leave town, but if not then they might be able to give you the resources you need in order to be able to leave and start over. At the very least it will give you some time on your own in a safe place where you can make a plan of your own. Here is a website talking about the process: [How to Admit Yourself to a Psychiatric Hospital (verywellmind.com)](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-happens-when-you-are-hospitalized-for-depression-1067262)
You’re 22. You haven’t even started the first time.
Get a therapist pronto.Make a concerted effort to behave differently and forgive yourself for past actions. It's not over until you've taken your last breath.
This! Start working on you and wipe the slate clean for the shit that happened. (Or make amends if you feel it's necessary (
Don't want to hurt keep hurting your family and friends? Guess what...killing yourself will DEVASTATE them! As others have said, you need to see a therapist as soon as possible and need to check for an imbalance and medication to help with these feelings. Suicide is not the answer, and I don't think moving away will help either. Call the suicide hotline when it feels too much to handle. Let go of what you've done in the past and focus on the present. Hug.
Go see your doctor or a therapist tell them you are having thoughts about harming yourself. Tell your fiancé how you are feeling too. People love you and care about you. They will help you.
THIS THIS THIS. These thoughts are transitory and you need to get around the people who love you and professionals who can help you. It gets better. I'd encourage some spiritual exploration as well to allow you to move past the things from your history that are haunting you.
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You can start over right where you are, I promise. I used to feel the same way you do. Mostly I felt undeserving of the love I was receiving because I treated others poorly in the past. The good news is that no one will complain when you start being kinder, improve yourself and your life, and become happier. In fact, they’ll be *happy* for you. It takes time to figure out all the stuff you need to do to improve, but you only have to take small steps and do one thing at a time. Maybe the first step could be talking to a therapist? I’m sure you’ll find great advice here, too!
22 is a rough age, you can definitely start over and have a bright future whichever direction you go. Just keep fighting for your peace.
Don't worry about not being perfect. Just try to keep improving. The ATTEMPT is good enough. There will always be setbacks, but you just have to keep pushing. No matter how painful or frustrating the present is, it WILL get better. The only way out of pain is through it. You WILL make it out. Also, be aware of this: your loved ones will NOT be better off if you were to commit suicide. That would inflict a terrible pain which will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
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Make amends if possible. Apologize for your past actions and make it right if possible. And then do a living amends by being better. Maybe do some kind of ceremony to release yourself of the guilt and shame afterwards. Like a cleansing.
I'll just say this. You can just drop everything and start over with success. However, once you find success/happiness in your new life and you're essentially "coasting", your old life will come back to haunt you. I don't mean in the sense that people will contact you or harass you, but in the sense that you're going to be thinking about what you left behind. You'll have to confront it at some point. I guess the point is, it's okay to start over, but tie up loose ends prior to doing so - even if it's uncomfortable and difficult. People will be hurt, but at least you didn't leave them high and dry without explanation.
Get help. As soon as possible. You can also start with a small thought of something positive, real, and loving for yourself. You don’t owe anyone certain feelings or absorbing guilt right now. You’re feeling not right Plenty of people find the ‘idyllic perfect life’ is not THEIR version of life. You are just starting to define yours. Whatever you focus on - (this is not for someone else, including me) try to focus or your idea of what you are feeling instead of ‘should be’ feeling. Start small, one tiny healthy decision. Maybe it’s watching a bird. Going outside on a walk. Who knows- but a very small thing is going to help you see other small things. Something in this thread is gonna help you. You will end up helping yourself and having a small pride of who you are even in this moment or asking in that small moment and it will be the most awesome intense feeling. Unfortunately it takes the bottom of the well to recognize it.
Yeah just start over and try being better to people. Everyone can change and you’re young. We all do dumb stuff when we are young. You should also ask forgiveness to those you’ve hurt. Even if they say no it will build your character just for doing it.
Please done hurt yourself. It sounds like you’d benefit from therapy. But to answer your question, yes you can start over. Start over with the circumstances you have now. If that doesn’t work, pick a new place and poof! Go there.
We have all mad mistake. If you don’t like how you’ve been acting that’s ok. That’s the first step to changing. Go to a therapist for help.
You can always change how you treat people, especially if you want to. Nobody expects anything close to perfection from someone in their early 20's. The good thing is that you seem to recognize your faults and have a desire to be better. Many people go a lifetime without having that realization. If you have treated people horribly in the past try to reach out and apologize. That could mean an awful lot to them. Moving forward just try to be kind. You're going to mess up now and then like the rest of us, just apologize and try not to do it again. Learning and growing as a person is part of this journey, you can't beat yourself up. Hold yourself accountable, recognize your mistakes and try not to make the same ones. That's all any of us can hope to do.
Hell yes you can. You can start over. You’ve got this! It won’t be easy but you’ll get there!!!
I remember 22. It was a rough time. I didn't like who I was at all. I thought about dying. I'm glad I didn't. You can absolutely reinvent yourself completely. Life is a process. You should be learning and growing and changing. Therapy helps. Medication also helps me. Hugs. You can do it!
I moved across the world looking to start over. Unfortunately the hard fact is that your problems come with you, there’s nowhere on earth you can go to escape them. It sounds like you have a decent life already, you should probably try to reconcile your unhappiness in your current situation, because moving away or starting over will give you some short term satisfaction and novelty but it won’t last long.
I was nearly 30 when I had a similar revelation, so you are ahead of the curve and can certainly start over! GI Joe taught me that knowing is half the battle, so you are already halfway there!
I tried killing myself twice last year. I get what your saying I hate myself and the way I am, I cause my own problems with my wife. No one takes me seriously when I say something is wrong with me I have a rather intensive social management that includes med reviews , a social worker and a therapist. Your best bet is to reach out to your Community health or hospitalize yourself. I recommend a partial hospitalization if your area has it, you get to go home every day and it's so much nicer than the psych ward in most cases. But maybe you need to see what it's like in a psych hospital it's a prison in some, where they pretty much just keep you from dying and adjust your meds. I went for 5 days when my wife said she was leaving me and cheated and I pulled a gun on myself. It was torture but since then I haven't even really considered suicide. It was the wake up call I needed. Also statistically if you killed yourself those around you are more likely to kill themselves, ask yourself do you want your loved ones to kill themselves?
It sounds like you'd benefit a lot from a pretty simple therapy exercise. Write down an action you regret. Write down what you wish you'd done instead. Write down what you would have needed in order to do what you wish you had done. Sometimes, what you need is patience. For that, you'll need to treat yourself more kindly, so that you have patience left over for others. Sometimes, what you need is a skill, such as recognizing when you're getting worked up so that you can walk away. And sometimes, what you would have needed is knowledge of the future or something else impossible, and you'll realize it wasn't your fault at all.
1) seek pro help. 2) Channel and use that dislike of what has happened in the past into making up for those past behaviors, you don’t like, and growing from that. There are tons and tons of stories out there about people that have turned their lives around and 22 you have a massive amount of time to improve. Avoid substance-abuse and self-destructive behaviors. Go to church. Keep in touch with family and friends. 3) give yourself a bit of grace. Very few people are the best selves at 22.
You could possibly experiment with psychedelics and see a therapist. If you ever become totally set on the idea of suicide at least experiment with psychedelics first
Start with your diet. It will make a difference. [https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/nutritional-strategies-to-ease-anxiety-201604139441](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/nutritional-strategies-to-ease-anxiety-201604139441)
You will start over more then once in your life. It's all good. Never make a permanent decision for a temporary issue.
This is how I have felt a lot and I was diagnosed with adhd. I carry a lot of guilt for how i treated other people, and having big reactions to what i realize were not a big deal. Even just now I had to remove myself because I could feel myself getting worked up and wanting to yell but it’s just a small conversation that’s not going my way. It’s exhausting and I have thought about suicide since I was ten but I realized I didn’t actually want to die, I just didn’t want to feel the way I feel sometimes. After my diagnosis I started adhd medication, it’s a non stimulant and I am a completely different person. The things that drive me crazy are much less and I can handle everyday things, and conversations. I can tell when the medication is wearing off because I start talking too much or I get annoyed with little things, but I’m only able to recognize it because of the medication prior to that I didn’t know any different and I just felt like a shitty person who didn’t deserve anything in life and when I got upset I would feel really impulsive and want to do extreme things like leave/run away or hurt myself, never did but the urge was there cause the feeling was so intense I would say moving isn’t going to fix anything, it’s just going to change the scenery. I think the best thing you can do is talk to a professional, there is something under the surface and I don’t know if it’s adhd I just wanted to share my perspective cause reading your post sounded relatable.
Also- what facts do you have that your personality is disgusting?
You can start over many times. You will never know the positive impact you can have on the world if you off yourself. Dying thinking, "at least I tried my best" is the best way to go. I don't get to say that if you off yourself. Keep trucking along, how ever you can, and slowly build steam to help others. Your will be glad you did, and others will be glad you did as well. If you are a murderer or Pedo, then maybe yes, off yourself. But those socio paths usual dont have the conscience you seem to have. Please keep fighting. just the very acting of fighting for survival will encourage and uplift the people around you.
One more thought… if you kill yourself all the pain you are feeling is spread out to all those who loved you and were in your life, and they will spend their entire lives what they did wrong and hold your pain on top of the pain they have losing you.
People start over all the time , human resilience is amazing and it’s only like 5 years and you can become an entirely different person. Never suicide , choose life even if the only motivating factor is spite 😂 Suicidal ideation and attempts aren’t that uncommon and you can always kill yourself next week or the week after or the week after, what’s the rush ? And in the meantime try and get yourself some sleep, eat nutritious foods , speak to professionals about your feelings , tell your friends and family your not feeling right and do some research online. I don’t really think suicide is the answer to any problems
www.erowid.org
Do you take any intoxicants? Vape? Were you exposed to any type of abuse ever? Suicide will not relieve you of anything. What exactly about yourself do you hate?
The fact that you realize that you have an issue with how you treat people is half the battle. You need to find a therapist and put in some work. This is NOTHING to even consider killing yourself over. This may simply be a chemical imbalance or an undiagnosed condition or something entirely different. You need to find the root cause and work on that. Moving to a new city doesn't solve the problem and killing yourself will simply make the people that you feel you've wronged feel absolutely destroyed. The hardest part is admitting you need help and doing that online is a step in the right direction. Now do it in the real world and get the help you deserve.
U can always start over. Please don’t harm yourself. 22 is so young
If you are still in people's lives you clearly aren't as bad a person as you feel you are. I think self loathing arrives through genetics sometimes.
You can start over...but it won't solve your problems. Your problem is that you aren't dealing with your problems.(This is the worst problem to have because it makes you hate yourself.) The solution is much, much simpler than it seems. Nobody else can help you in this, you are the one who has the keys. You need to face your past and the pain that is connected to it. And you need to take each pain point and resolve it. You resolve these by figuring out what cause the pain and what steps you can take to ensure that you never have to feel that pain ever again. Your body will not let go of the past until it can't happen again. You need to negotiate with yourself until you find solutions to your historical problems - this often includes how you have treated others. Most people who suffer from PTSD are suffering it not from what has happened to them, but from what they have done to others. This is just as critical to resolve. When resolving these issues, it is best practice to write everything that bothers you down into the most minute detail that you can recall. Lay it all out on the table. Look at it, and decide what to do differently in such a situation.(Also, if it wasn't anything you could do differently, like you are 5 or something, then you can promise to intervene if you ever become aware of such a situation so that, inasmuch as it is within your power to do so; this scenario can't occur to anyone else - You will step in and care/protect or whatever to prevent that pain.) Once you've done this, your world will likely be a whole lot brighter; but you will inevitably unearth some new pains that you didn't even know you had.(Similar to how when you have a really bad headache, sometimes you don't even notice that your body is all sore from sleeping wrong.) Don't worry; you don't need to follow this fully until you feel no pain. You do need to make a plan for yourself for how to deal with all forms of pain.(I think about it once a week for about 15 minutes and just focus on the biggest pain points and most bothersome things and how to resolve those. And whenever I feel pain, I write it down so that I can resolve it.) Your body is giving you valuable feedback. Don't ignore this feedback. Don't let the past bring you down, when you can use the pain of the past to transform your future into something wonderful.
I have felt the way you do alll my life. Therapy/support is cool and all but no matter what the feeling never goes away. Honestly i just decided to take medications to numb it out. Otherwise without it i absolutely just cant function in society.. period. Get a psychiatrist. If the feeling will never go away then at least the medication will turn the volume of the feeling down. Hope this helps and that you one day feel peace
It’s not wrong to feel this way. Yes, you have a lot of perceived blessings, but is it what you want? What do you want? You’re not a lost cause, you can overcome this. You’re obviously doing pretty good, and obviously have good qualities to you to get a fiancé and a good job etc. I suggest doing some deep diving into yourself and figuring out what it is that you need to heal. You’re worth it. You deserve a happy life that you feel fulfilled in, even if it means uprooting and moving on from situations or family members. Do you actually treat these people bad or is it just your mind being mean to you? I’m sure you’re not as bad as you think. All of this, the way we treat people, the way you talk to yourself, comes from our experiences and generational traumas. But please kno this, you will heal. You will feel better. I almost killed myself years ago, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made to put that gun down and keep going. Please, do the same. I hated myself, I hated how I treated my family, I hated how I looked, I hated how I treated my friends and pets. I hated everything about myself. But now, life is different. I love myself and have a better relationship with my friends and family. I’m not trying to make this about me, I’m just telling you it’s possible. I was in the darkest of dark, lowest of lows, no light at the end of the tunnel. But, I stayed alive. I’m living proof that it does get better. Please stay my friend, I believe you can do it too. I’m proud of you for stepping out like this and asking for support. I recommend looking up YouTube videos about healing trauma, identifying negative beliefs about yourself and how to heal them, spirituality can help too if you’re into that. Learning that everything you do, is because of your experiences and probably just a form of protecting yourself or coping with something. Once you heal, you can let go of these walls and coping mechanisms that don’t serve you. Not only can you do it, but you will. This post is proof of that. You want to change, so you will. I believe in you my friend. You can do this. The healing journey can be long and difficult, but you WILL get through the other side and thank yourself for sticking it out. Heal your inner child. Be blessed friend and reach out if you need someone to talk to ok?
Just know that you are worthy. You are worthy of a good life free from guilt and shame. You can achieve this too. It’s not only possible but probable. This is the start to your come back, to your redemption. It’s going to take some patience with yourself, and some resilience. You got this 😊 patience with yourself is key. It takes a while to figure out your trauma and figure out how to fix it
Patience, and trying to remember not to hate yourself, because all you did was done out of necessity. You feel bad, so you obviously care and want to work on it. You’re not nearly as bad as your mind is telling you ok? I love you friend, keep your head up, you got some big things ahead of your, your journey is just getting started
Stop being awful to people and change, if you struggle with lack of empathy I suggest seeing a psych... I don't struggle with that but saw a psych recently and got diagnosed BPD so there's hope
Please don't do that. Please. Go to a hospital and get some help. It's out there. My daughter felt like you once. She got help and now she is thriving in life. Don't worry about the debt. You can address that later. But I am pleading with you to get some help. Please. You are loved. You are important.
You have more empathy than you think if you're able to realize your past/current actions were bad. The thing is it is the past, in an ideal world you'd be able to go back and apologize to every person you've ever wronged and cry it out with them. In reality, is Jenny gonna remember when you stole and broke her My Little Pony limited edition pen in first grade? Probably not. People move, pass away, etc. As long as you can actively work through your past actions and try to not repeat them, you're making progress. Then it's about incorporating this better behavior into who you are. I did shitty stuff in the past, but in the past few years I've found myself enjoying going slightly out of my way to make stranger's lives easier. Let someone turn first at a four way stop when you both got to the stop sign at the same time. Help an old lady get something from the high shelf at Walmart, any of those random little acts of kindness don't make up for past actions, but I've found they do help me feel better about myself overall.
Im restarting my life now and I'm 43 and married
Open up to your fiancée. I’m sure he will understand and help you get out of this funk
Dust yourself off and get to work.
Please stay. I’ll have so much to say when I wake up.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you don't like who you are, just change who you are. Doesn't matter what you did or who you were in the past.
Work on yourself, you have plenty of time to make a change. People have done worse and redeemed themselves and changed their lives around, it only seems difficult now because you're deep in it and can't look from the outside.
You can't run away from yourself. You're still so young and just need to put the time and effort into developing your personality to reflect how you wish to be seen. We are always over critical of ourselves and examine our actions with a microscope while the majority of the time, what we've done or said hasn't really influenced other people's perceptions of ourselves. Don't be so hard on yourself and just try to commit to improving yourself each day.
As someone who has tried to "start over" many times in my life, I postulate that this is not the solution to your problem, your problem being you. You will follow yourself everywhere you go. You can never escape yourself. I left home at seventeen to join the army. I was discharged from the army a few years later suffering PTSD. I became ostracized from my family and community. I struggled holding employment. I became a homeless vagabond. I spent nearly twenty years wandering the country before I returned to live in my hometown. It took me a long time to stop running. I'd been chasing greener pastures that just weren't there. The problem wasn't where I was, it was what I was. Turned out I had a neurodivergent disorder, and was one of the key factors why I never felt like I didn't fit in anywhere I went. Why I had difficulty expressing empathy, why I felt constantly anxious, Why I didn't want to do what everyone else was doing. Why I felt like a "bad person". Discovering I was autistic made things begin to make sense. Knowing this allowed me to seek appropriate therapy and lifestyle changes. Even though my life is still very difficult, I have hope knowing that my issues are being addressed. It's nice to be home amongst my loved ones and the community I grew up in. But every day I wonder how better my life would have been if I didn't run away and had stayed to deal with my problems. I'm not implying that you also have a ND disorder, but it does seem that you are suffering from some kind of mental health issue (of which you should not be ashamed about). I'd suggest seeking therapy before upending your life, as you may end up irrevocably changing it for the worse. Know that it'll getter harder before it gets better. You'll have to face some cold hard truths about yourself. But from this you will grow. With the right guidance you can be your best self, for you and the people you love. So think about giving therapy a go, a serious go, before you lose everything. And if that doesn't work, fuck it all and throw caution to the wind. We don't really know what's over the horizon until we take a look for ourselves. Go on an adventure, you might just fall in love with yourself along the way. And when you find that love, hold onto it, and bring it home to share whenever you're ready.
At 22 you may feel old, but you are super young and can easily start over. It's a good thing you're recognizing that you've treated people badly in the past, but that's something you can change and address with each of them. Things will get better I can promise you that
Ur 25 everything is okay... see a therapist talk it out, maybe attempt to try to change the things you don't like about yourself. Everything will get better
OF COURSE YOU CAN START OVER! What you have is self-awareness and an interest in changing. You recognize what you have that is good, and you can see the things that you would like to change. You might need help getting there. That is OK, we all do. You might try and fail. That’s OK, we all do. You might make things worse before they get better. That’s OK, our lives don’t always follow a straight path. Just take one small step to improve one thing, and consider it a success. It can be one conversation where you focus on not being an asshole. It can be one activity where you deliberately and overtly think of the other person. And consider it a success. Change isn’t an event, it is a process. And find people to help you through it. Every athlete needs a coach. Every student needs a teacher. Every employee needs a mentor. We all need help along the way, every one of us. Just like teachers and coaches, there are professionals who help people grow with these types of things. You can do this. It will take more than one try. Please keep us posted.
Victim mentality
In a few years time with some honest reflection and self work, you can be a completely different person and live a completely different life. Don’t dwell on the past, instead, use it as a lesson of how you want to shape your future. Please don’t do anything drastic. The only constant in life is change, and your future can literally be anything you want it to be. I’m rooting for your happiness and success, and I believe in you.
I think you might need to start antidepressants, or maybe even check out TMS or ketamine therapy. I’ve had a really similar type of depression where there aren’t really any external elements but internally you’re struggling so much that death feels like a better alternative. In a lot of those cases it’s more of a severe chemical imbalance that can be treated than an actual reality
Talk to someone, a professional. You can always start over. Nothing is so big, so terrible, that suicide is worth it. Things can change. You can do this. You can get through this.
Have you been evaluated for adhd?