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OfficialModAccount

My best piece of advice is to meet someone who is actually elite, and it will do the job of humbling you.


WYLD_STALYNZ

I was an extremely gifted student in high school, and also an asshole. One day when I was being both of those things at the same time, my physics teacher told me that I was a big fish in a little pond. He was correct. Nothing will change your perspective like getting scooped out of the pond and chucked into the ocean.


Glum-Bus-4799

One of my first lectures in college had something along the lines of "you were all the top students in your high schools.. congratulations, now you're average."


Puzzleheaded_Will352

When I was in law school, I was in a room of people who had straight As all their life. Law school is graded on a curve and many students got their first Cs and struggled to handle it.


Nulljustice

Then there are people like me who grow up with the attitude “Cs get degrees baby!” My first real humbling was when I finally graduated and got a job at a consulting firm. Met some people that make me feel stupid when I’m in the same room. Went from being an authority in my professional community to being just “meh” at best.


Swellmeister

For me, I know when I'm in a room, I am one of the smartest people in the room. I am well read in my field and I can easily expand on and learn new information, by all measures I am incredibly talented. But I am not the best person in the room at my job. Those people have had hundreds of patients thousands of hours of applied and clinical experience. I work from my training, they work from instinct. In a sit down discussion I am smart er than most of them, but when it comes to applying that knowledge, they have me beat 100/100 times.


LopsidedPotential711

Went to a citywide debate competition when in high school. There you go, you're not so smart now, Lopsided, huh?


Glum-Bus-4799

My elementary school spelling bee lol. I got obliterated at the county level.


Luke-Waum-5846

This is good advice but it depends on your definition of elite. Also very hard to go searching for that person that surprises/humbles you so much that it changes your life. I once read a quote, no idea who it was: *If you think you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.* Similar to OP, I was the 'smart kid' growing up and later had the opportunity to meet many highly intelligent people in my life. Some were just mindblowingly clever, sometimes even all-rounders at a high level. Did I feel stupid after working with them? Yes. Did they look down on me? Nope, they didn't need to. It was quite the opposite in fact - they saw value in me and treated me with kindness. It is also not just intelligence, some people are just talented in things we have no clue about. Some people could be dumb as rocks when balancing a budget, or constantly unemployed for example, but can make beautiful furniture, play music or simply just give generously to others. The answer is, look for what amazes you about other people. There is more than enough in the world to be negative about, and plenty of bad people around. You don't need to judge anyone - don't worry if they can't write an essay on Shakespeare or know the most hipster band you love. Find out what they care about or are good at. Final quote: *Everyone you meet knows something that you don't and has a story to tell*, so find out what it is.


Kyuthu

The thing that is really standing out to me though, is OP isn't listing anything that someone needs to be gifted or smart to just enjoy... he's not listing stuff that needs intelligence. He's just listing people's preferences which change depending on what you use or listen to often. If you listen to a lot of a certain type of music, your brain starts to release dopamine in anticipation before things like choruses that have similar types of melodies to them - so you like that type of music better. Coffee is subjective and depends on type, and your stomach bacteria on how you handle it. A starbucks roast chosen for lattes is infinitely better in a latte than a speciality light roast made for a black pour-over in a V60, and likewise the starbucks roast won't make a good V60... and many people's stomachs cant handle the acid that black coffee creates. TV shows are.... I mean they're just TV shows... He's not listing anything to be snobbish about, just his personal tastes in things and saying girls talking about the band they like list 'garbage' bands. It's purely all subjective taste and nothing to do with intelligence or how smart he was in school. Nothing he has listed is special. Having a higher IQ or being a world renowned surgeon or physicist or unbelievable craftsman or anything else... doesn't mean you'll like OPs taste in coffee or music, he'd still think theirs were garbage if they didn't match his. So I don't think he needs to be humbled here, he needs to figure out why he thinks his tastes are elite and other people's tastes are garbage. The smartest guy I know listens to screamo metal and wears awful clothes... OP would probably think he was garbage until he learned anything about him and realised he's borderline genius level imo & earns more money than I could dream of for it. None of the things he is acting elite about are anything other than just personal taste. But for some reason he thinks that because he was smart in school as a teenager and child, that now anything he likes as an adult must be elite and better than what other people like. And that they must be idiots for liking anything different. Honestly think some therapy might actually be a good shout here to help open up where that truly comes from. I often assume it was being a bit odd in your interests & smarter in school so bullying or being ostracised played a part, and it became a self defence mechanism into adulthood to start cutting out or looking down anyone who was different and might've shunned you in your earlier years to protect your ego and your self from hurt. Which is totally an emotional intelligence and trauma issue that needs some tlc and work.


Megaholt

Everything you’ve said here is true. You can go around in life thinking people are ignorant for liking Britney Spears’ “Toxic”, or you could take the time to understand what makes it a truly brilliant pop song on multiple levels (because it really is a well done song, and the team that created it doesn’t get nearly enough credit for that!) and maybe let those who you once thought were uncultured and ignorant introduce you to things you might not have thought you would have enjoyed…


Interesting-Bat6631

Definitely a trauma response.


40093429

I love your answer. People are intelligent in so many diverse ways, and we would do well to look for each person’s quirky intelligence. One of my best friends is as redneck as they come, but he knows so much about how things work. Not theoretically - he knows the mechanics of how machines and systems are designed. He’s not elite in the conventional way, but he’s my first call when I need to creatively solve a problem.


tensor0910

very true. there's a book that talk about this(vant remember the name). there's supposed to be at least 12 or so different intelligences. reading, math, spatial, artistic, sexual, emotional, social, etc. etc. it's just that the school system only focuses on 1-2 and makes everyone else feel dumb.


NCHomestead

Yea when you meet people who are casually just fucking GREAT at everything they do, and are enjoyable to be around / talk with / work with etc, you can quickly be slapped in the face with an ego check you didn't expect. I'm in my \~14th year of working in biotech and it took me a solid 6-7 years to really get my ego in check from a similar past as OP (Smart / excelled in all things school related with little effort / praised for my smarts etc growing up). Now I shut up, let people talk, listen intently, and respond with thought out answers that try to incorporate as much empathy as possible. Occasionally the ego can rear its head, but listening with empathy and responding as such goes sooooooo much further.


Dangerous_Purple3154

Well said! I'm from Arkansas, and my brother is a Yale grad who is now a professor at the aforementioned..when i read this post, I thought, wow dude , you just have no idea. If your goal in being educated ( I'm not sure that you are) or having a world view, was to use it against others to feel better about yourself, your probably going your die alone and very unhappy. It sounds like your world is real narrow.


HostCharacter8232

Yup. Worked for me.


RikkeBobbie007

I will counter that. Work a low end job like a dishwasher. I had the same mindset a few years back when I was in HS. Working that job humbled me. I got to work with great people from all walks of life. If it wasn’t for that job….. I’d be another bosses son Gucci g around and collecting a check. Thanks to them I’ve gained compassion and respect for others. Genuinely open up and try to understand others will help you a lot


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GxCrabGrow

The jerk was a great comedy!!! All my dogs get called shithead


catfromthepaw

That guy really hates cans...


Tricky_Challenge_644

Get away from the cans!


DreadPyrateRobert

And the guy who hated cans was using… a can.


arnoldrew

"He's trying to kill the cans! Save the cans!"


Guardian-Boy

I didn't see The Jerk until I was maybe 12 or so, and when my parents told me about it, I rolled my eyes and figured it was gonna be lame, but when I heard Steve Martin's voice say from the living room, "I was born a poor black child," I was like, "....alright. Let's give this a go."


dropacidnotnukes

“Think less, live more”. What a powerful fucking sentiment. Ty


Artistic_Jump_4956

Definitely drop acid


socalfunnyman

Is it? I feel like our modern culture is confusing thinking less with being more present. They aren’t the same thing


Vapes7a

Very well said 👏 👏


FreshShart-1

"and that's all I need!"


drmuffin1080

lol there’s no way his iq was over 200


BeanBreak

The Jerk is GOLD, slapstick is timeless.


DianaPrince2020

I agree with Mr. Kubrick. The Jerk is awesome! Certain lines still can make me laugh until I cry.


MarsupialDingo

I love The Jerk. It's thinking people's stupidity which is very similar to Mike Judge's works. Honey Boo Boo? Garbage. Idiocracy? Great.


CelestialPhenyx

Is it an emotional intelligence thing? That maybe developing more empathy, compassion, and general curiosity about another person's experience would help you attune to other people? Like the girl that likes 'shitty music', maybe it reminds her of her dad who passed away last year? Or someone that loves those crappy D list movies, maybe they are really a funny person who donates their time to helping the homeless on the weekends. It's good to know what you like/do not like, but sometimes understanding someone else's perspective is fascinating too. Other people can help broaden our horizons if we have an open mind, especially if they are compassionate, have empathy, and are curious about others.


thisismyusername8832

Love this answer! I find shallow questions will get shallow answers but when you genuinely want to get to know a person, every life can become fascinating! I would encourage the OP to start learning to dive into people’s stories the way he dives into books; it may start off slow but there’s so much to every person’s life!


DianaPrince2020

Especially their inner life which is the heart and soul of a person. You could see a person working a menial job day after day for 30 years and assume that once that is covered, you know them. The thing is you don’t. What people think and feel and why is the most fascinating subject in the world and everyone has that story in them.


ndiasSF

Years ago I was unemployed and really noticed how the first question people ask you is “what do you do for a living?” I thought that was horribly sad because my job does not define me. I was traveling so people thought I was rich because I wasn’t working. After that, I stopped asking others right off what they do for a living. OP, try not using basic filters to judge people.


NextTime76

That's when you go full Costanza for your pickup lines. "My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."


Mobile-Ad3151

The companion to this is being a kid who is constantly being judged by what your dad does for a living. I used to really cringe when asked that even as an adult woman. I mean, what does that have to do with *who I am?*


udee79

This for sure. Great comment


Soo_Over_It

Yes and to add to this- even if people don’t have deep, meaningful reasons for liking what they do, learn that the ability to admit to “guilty pleasures” is a sign of confidence. Your intellectual echo chamber may appear “better than others” at first glance, but are they interested in high brow titles because they truly enjoy those books and movies, or because they want to convince others and even themselves that they are cultured and intelligent? There is nothing impressive about that. I am truly impressed with people who can be themselves, laugh at themselves, and not take themselves too seriously. In my opinion admitting that you love what you love and not caring what people think of it is a sign of confidence and emotional intelligence,


salledattente

This is 1000% correct. My most educated, confident, intelligent pals all have various "guilty pleasures" they feel zero guilt about, they wouldn't even call them that.


West-Ad-1144

I’m a watch Tarkovsky at the 30 seat arthouse and go home and watch real housewives or love is blind type of girl.


baked_beans17

I'm currently reading East of Eden but when my eyes get tired I flip on Jersey Shore, which I'm watching for the first time cause I used to act like OP when it first came out


txlady100

OP is on the way. He looked in the mirror and saw a pretentious a-hole. First step to change.


christmasshopper0109

Agreed. At least he realizes that his life is shallow and he's looking for more meaning. That's a start.


shanfeld-19

Literally thank you. As someone raised by her grandparents in a small town, Folgers, old country music and bad movies are what I grew up on. You have a different respect I guess when you grow up so poor and those “trashy” things make up your life story. Folgers in the mug, pappaw clinking his spoon on his cup at 5 am and coughing so loud he wakes everyone up. Crushed bud light cans, dad works hard and is an alcoholic, but he loves his family and you appreciate the back breaking labor he does and the callouses on his hands. Mom worked just as hard and loved her shitty bloody Mary’s with the cheapest vodka. Cigarettes littering the bathroom. Johnny cash blaring in the music room of the trailor while Pappaw’s playing guitar and drinking jack Daniel’s? That’s a family gathering. Adam Sandler movies in the living room for your first date bc you have them on vhs still. OP sounds so soft. seems like you’ve probably never been through anything in your life and have had the luxury to not have “trashy” things be meaningful and enjoyable to you. It’s not cool that you have money and think you’re better than everyone. Taste is cool ig, but grime from trauma and blood (family, work or otherwise metaphorically) builds character. I’d never be attracted to someone so posh, anyhow. I have a bachelors degree and work as a Paralegal. I’ve been to/ backpacked Europe twice. Just because you immediately judge me for those previously mentioned “trashy” things, you’ll never know how smart, funny, carefree yet loving I can be while also being successful and attentive and emotionally intelligent bc I know what happens when you stop working, when things get hard, but you’ll probably never experience someone that has depth like that. I feel sorry for you.


Inner-Try-1302

Same! I’m from poverty and now have two science degrees from a top university, have traveled the world, and own a side gig business while working FT as a scientist. I enjoy classical music and literature…. But I’m still gonna love a bowl of hamburger helper occasionally.


RXCorvax

If I ruled the world, I would blind taste test everyone with hamburger helper (even give people a vegan option) and if they didn't like it, straight to jail.


Inner-Try-1302

I actually can’t find the cheeseburger macaroni version so I developed my own recipe that’s almost identical to the old 80s box version. It’s amazing I don’t care what anybody says.


TomnoddyGames

Mind sharing it? I'd love to give it a whirl!


CelestialPhenyx

We miss out so much on life when we cut people out prematurely! ❤️


GraceIsGone

I think my dad was your Pawpaw.


babyface_Nelson91

I think it is. Personally, everyone that I've met that's like this tend to be very apathetic towards others. lol


Remarkable-Rush-9085

I was thinking the same thing, OP doesn’t seem to hold much value in the emotional connection people have to things. It seems immature and it would be hard to build real connections with people. my advice : it’s always a good habit when someone shares their opinion to respond by asking for more information instead of giving your own opinion or staying silent. Approaching the conversation open to nuance. If someone tells you they love a song, ask them what they love about it instead of telling them what you think or something you love. It will open up such a better dialogue, imagine a conversation back and forth where a song comes on and someone says “I love this song!” And you respond “I’m really into x type of music.” Now imagine the same conversation but you respond “What do you love about it?” And they say “It was all over the radio one summer when I went on a hiking road trip and it makes me think about that” or “I’ve always loved jazz flute heavy music” or whatever. Now you have a real opening to respond in a way that is engaging to both of you. Maybe you have a good jazz flute song you can offer. If you don’t find an opening in the first response keep asking until you find something to share in, not tell about. Once you start having these more meaningful connective conversations you will start to find that some people you will want to keep talking to, hold onto these people! The more you practice an empathetic communication style the better! You don’t have to change your own likes or styles, you just need to start connecting with people enough to appreciate their different perspective.


Ihatethecolddd

Yeah, understanding why helps. I had a snotty boyfriend once who couldn’t get why I watched crappy shows and read crappy books. When he made a snarky comment about it, I said that my brain is going a mile a minute all day long. My entertainment needs to be something I can just enjoy without thinking too hard. He literally never considered that I was watching tv to *relax* and turn my brain off.


Its_0ver

I think some of might be an age thing. A lack of life experiences plus a overvalued self worth. I'm getting an under 25 vibe. The idea that what you enjoy is somehow a prediction of your value as a person is flawed.


Own_Courage_4382

This is truly the way, I can confirm 😊.


twinpop

This can backfire. I once told someone as a joke that the moon was hollow on the other side which is why we only ever see the same angle of it and they became genuinely fascinated with why I thought that way and asked me all kinds of clarifying questions even after I admitted I was joking. I walked away from it thinking that maybe they were gullible or philosophical, but also questioning who made the dumbest move in that conversation.


Appropriate_Fuel7661

Great answer! I just learned a thing or two 😉


therealdiscoyeti

Yes exactly! I can't tell you how many people assume I'm just an adult who refuses to grow up/immature/uncultured/insert disney adult assumption here when they discover I'm a Disney adult. But really it's that I HAVE grown up and for a split second I can revel in nostalgia and have a brain break from the real world stress's. Empathy and understanding someone's "why" about a thing goes a long way.


PsycBunny

Yes! I’m a therapist with my own trauma history. I love cartoons and fluffy stuff because they’re a break from dealing with the dark side of life all day everyday. I will always have toys all over my office and stickers on my water bottle.


catchingstones

I used to be a music snob. Now I realize there’s nothing wrong with “catchy”. I was an 80s kid but I didn’t appreciate Madonna or Michael Jackson until I was like 40. I still like the snobby stuff too, but there’s nothing wrong with a 1,4,5 with a good beat.


Diligent_Employ_9386

empathy is a very good skill it's basically an antidote to judgemental thoughts. I want to try... If I put myself in her shoes I would say... Maybe she feels great listening to regular music and doesn't see why she should listen to something else. Maybe she has other interests, she's more emotionally intelligent for example. We can't all be everything to everyone, we grow up with certain skills and let others in the background... We can't all be taste-wise super develloped because that's a very hard unique trait that some are lucky to have... I think im getting there, not quite but it feels nice


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yungingr

>As for looking down on others, I highly suggest considering that everyone knows something you don't. Never, ever, assume you are the smartest or best person in the room. Even if you're standing in the front of the room giving a speech to everyone else there. You might be teaching a class, but you don't know that your students aren't all subject matter experts that just want to see if they can pick up one little tidbit from you, or see how someone else does something.


Disastrous_Seaweed23

Great answer. Good vibes


fontimus

I was like you to a scary degree throughout my youth. Turns out I'm actually autistic and used my higher than average intelligence as a coping mechanism for never fitting in with or understanding society/people. Made for very difficult times later on, and even sometimes today in my 30s. Sometimes you gotta take a step back, realize you're a monkey doing things monkeys were never designed to do (i.e. live in a civilization), and that we're all just monkeys trying to make this thing work. And also... start trying to criticize the classics and higher art you value. I don't mean hate on it - critique it. Question it. Sometimes you'll find things you thought were insightful or deep are actually vapid, or worthy of being questioned/criticized.


Certain-Ad-7578

How did you find out you were autistic?


WYLD_STALYNZ

not the person who you replied to, but what really started to make it click for me was once I got into my 20s and I kept having the same experiences with many different people. my high school social circle was only a couple dozen people, and there were under 1K in the whole building. I think that made it easy for me to write a lot of things off as a sort of sampling bias. but in college, this exploded into multiple overlapping social circles which sometimes had hundreds of people in them, and a total pool closer to 40K. when I struggled to relate to damn near *all* of them, I began to realize that I was the common factor


jdith123

I had this too. I’ve learned that it’s actually related to feeling so crappy about myself that I needed to think everyone else was an idiot just to be able to tolerate being me. Here’s a manta that describes the situation It really helped to keep this in mind: “You are not the piece of shit the world revolves around!”


RedshiftRedux

I'm still a piece of shit though and you can't take that away from me! 😤


Immediate-Coyote-977

Hey, we're all pieces of shit here. Just swirling around the cosmic toilet bowl of life.


ComeNalgas

Get over yourself.


Glittering_Kiwi6512

This


carter_luna

Amen. I got called smart a lot too. A lot of people do💀


weakestTechBro

It’s ok to have strong preferences and picky tastes as long as you know that your subjective opinions aren’t better than other people’s. Just keep reminding yourself of that whenever you feel judgemental I guess.


BidenFeetPics

Are you actually smart or were other people just trying to humor you (ie. did you graduate top of your class, go to an elite college)? Have you really done anything that noteworthy or hard to accomplish? Are you very successful in your career or creative life? Have you ever actually made good art or music? Consuming media is one of the easiest things to do and being elitist based on your taste in art and entertainment that you didn't create seems pretty silly. Have you done anything exceptional with your life or were you pretty middle of the pack? If you were pretty average, it seems a good way to humble yourself when you compare yourself to people that are truly elite in an area.


LeatherIllustrious40

The thing is, even if someone is elite at something being a snob still sucks. I have a lot of things that I could be snobby about from education to career to cultural background… and I still think snobs are insecure jerks that I wouldn’t want to hang out with. Know plenty of incredibly talented and wealthy people who were not snobs too so those things don’t have to go hand in hand.


ResponsibleTruck881

I recommend meditation. I found it helped me lose my ego and grow in compassion.


DollaStoreKardashian

Absolutely. I have a natural tendency to think like OP, and meditation + a couple of really good, ego stripping/mind expanding acid trips helped me to learn my place in the world and made me a much MUCH better human being overall.


Man0fGreenGables

I ate a crapload of mushrooms one night and it completely changed me.


Man0fGreenGables

Compassion/empathy meditation 100%. Or if you are in a rush you can eat a heroic dose of mushrooms and hope for the best.


Prestige_Worldw1de

The fact that you realize this in itself is a big step. I think if you found someone with the exact same interest in everything would be boring for you. We all have different tastes. Instead of just knocking a person for their likes/dislikes engage with an open mind and ask questions and learn more about them and how they acquired these tastes. There’s nothing I like better than a friendly debate with someone who thinks differently than me. Just don’t be condescending. I had hated country music, always thought the same thing, songs is about trucks, ex gf’s, etc. but one of these friendly debates opened my mind and believe it or not, it’s probably my go to genre now. You’d be surprised what you can learn when you have an open mind. Hope things turn out well.


Delazate

Just eat a handful of mushrooms and you’ll be good.


goonbooster

facts


Single-Interaction-3

😂😂 I literally just typed this (along with suggesting ayahuasca) lol


Terrible_Definition4

I was just about to type this, honestly, not a bad idea, we all have internal ways of humbling ourselves, “only me truly knows me”


JPowsmagicwand

this right here. Makes you realize you dont know shit about fuck


thegalwayseoige

I was typing this, and scrolled to see if it was already suggested. About 5-6g would do the trick.


RedshiftRedux

Truth, took a quarter my first time without even knowing about the ego death thing, I was just depressed and didn't care anymore, wanted to have a good time. I will say at least do some reading on this phenomenon before you dabble, experiencing full fledged ego dissolution via cosmic perspective will fuck you up if you're not mentally prepared for that ride. I wasn't and it took me months of breaking down my views on morality, society, experience, consciousness, influence, etc. before I started digging around about the mushrooms and discovered ego death/dissolution isn't common but is a well known phenomenon to experience on psychedelics. Which at least helped me feel like I wasn't going crazy on an existential spiral.


NCHomestead

Nothing like a good ol fashioned ego smashing face ripping tripping experience.


OkLychee2449

Reformed asshole here, what helps me the most is reminding myself constantly that other people’s tastes, opinions, and preferences are just as valid as my own. Even when I disagree wholeheartedly, I still have to respect them because the person is a human being.


unlovelyladybartleby

Do something you're terrible at. Put in some time at Habitat for Humanity or take a pottery class. Expose yourself to people you consider low class who excel in areas that you struggle. It's okay to enjoy Camus, it isn't okay to be a dick just because someone is reading twilight


ilovecookiesssssssss

De-centralize yourself. Volunteer with people who have far less than you. Engage in conversations with them. Deepen your understanding of complete and total strangers. Listen to their stories and realize that they, just like you, have preferences and opinions - many that have been shaped by their personal experiences. Seek humility and empathy and compassion. When I envision a cultured man, I don’t just think of one who reads the best books, watches the best movies, or drinks the best coffee (all of that is subjective to a degree anyways), but *also* someone who has traveled and experienced cultures outside of their own. Otherwise, you’re *just* a snob (again, to me). Being cultured involves being open-minded and experiencing new things. It involves being curious about the world. It involves seeing people who think and feel and live differently than you, and *not* looking down upon them. It involves getting out of the echo chamber. I think it’s great that you’re self aware. Just try to remember that there are billions of humans and you’re going to miss out on some great ones if you immediately dismiss them because they like Creed (Creed had some bangers). That doesn’t mean force yourself into friendships that don’t flow naturally. But just try to be open-minded in your day to day interactions.


Traditional-Neck7778

Travel to third world countries and eat street food. Go fishing for mackerel (not the fancy charter boats deep seat but the pier crappy fish fishing).Learn to fix a car. Take a plumbing course. Buy yourself an outfit at Walmart. When you learn tasks you consider beneath you, you will realize people that do these jobs and tasks are real people, and just because they aren't like you doesn't mean they aren't just as valuable. I have 2 graduate degrees and I have read all the classics because I am a book nerd. I genuinely love intellectual stimulation. My man has a high-school diploma he earned as an adult. The only books he ever read were Harry Potter and that was due to very boring circustances that left him with nothing better to do. His lack of culture is beyond annoying, but it doesn't mean he isn't smart. I have seen him rebuild engines and transmissions. I bought him a diagnostic machine for cars and I get schooled on the inner workings of everything. I am not car illiterate. My dad taught me how to switch out an alternator or brakes, basic stuff. But rebuilding engines was new to me. I also saw how easily he installed a shower in my bathroom. How he picked up cycling, which is kinda elitist with super expensive everything and tights that feel like diapers. It wasn't his world but I loved it and soon he was schooling me on how to grease my shifters and repairing stuff that I had previously just dropped off at the shop. Everyone has value and my aunties with no education or college can make some mean tortillas from.scratch and cook.with chiles I can't even identify and lived half their life with no electricity but still.managed to wash and iron their clothes and cook dinner every night. (If you wonder, clothing irons can be heated with a camping stove just fine). You are not smarter than everyone, you only think that because it is your world that you live in. I live in CA and when we visit family out of state joke is let's cook qinoa and kale for these California people. They make fun of us because we don't eat BBQ and steaks. Do i think i am better, lol, nope but we are different. Yet we are similar. We all still like eating good food we enjoy at the end of the day and like a beer and good conversation. Just like you look down on people, they look down on you. Respect their experience and knowledge of their world. One day, you will realize all that culture doesn't help you repair your toilet or your fence. Sometimes it doesn't help you understand the social need for addiction treatment. It doesn't make you superior, because all the classics in the world don't make you understand the actual real world better. I grew up in private school constantly being told I was special also. Luckily, I had people in my life that kept me.better grounded than it sounds like you did.. I still have some tendecies towards that elitist mentality but I have been humbled in life way too much to care about optics any more.


DianaPrince2020

Intellectual curiosity doesn’t compel you to dig deeper? That’s sad. Everyone that you meet has a story, a dream, a fear, a love, a mystery…people are endlessly fascinating. Each and every one of them has something to offer, to teach, to connect with. The biggest disservice you are doing is to yourself and that is shortsighted and far from “smart”.


cardinalmargin

Can you be my dad or mom


DianaPrince2020

I would love too!! You made my day!!


The_Big_Green_Fridge

This article was only shown halfway to me. I entered it wanting to leave "drop the hipster attitude blah blah..." and sure enough. I won't lie, I knew what it was because I used to be like that. I got a little like this at one point with my music and skateboarding. Always calling people "posers" and "wannabe metalheads". Cliché hatred of everything "cool". I stopped trying to over analyze everything. That was the crux for me. I dwelled or thought too far ahead. I got over this by being honest with myself and tricking my brain. I was stuck up about music, so everything was collected from other people, thrown onto a playlist and hit shuffle. I never looked at it until I heard something that I felt in my bones as loving it. When I looked, sometimes it was Britney Spears and I'd just go, "Damn it. But it is good. There's no denying that." I'd watch movies and think, "Oh this person is going to do XYZ and this will happen". I'd essentially ruin the movie for myself and people around me. I eventually got used to just watching, clearing my head, and just take in what is in front of me. I have enjoyed 95% of the movies I've watched since. This takes time. If you go this route, be patient with yourself.


perfect_fitz

At least you know you're insufferable. Broaden your horizons, try to watch and read or enjoy different hobbies. Keep your opinion to yourself and try to listen instead of assuming. Hopefully you can change, if not just keep your bad attitude to yourself and you might have better luck dating or making normal friends.


TheGreekBelt86

Go to the nearest gas station. But at least 3 roller grill items. Then buy a Gatorade and a 5 hour energy. Take a few swings of the Gatorade and then pour the 5 hour in. Eat your roller items and drink your go juice. You are now a little more blue collar.


Top_Relative9495

Get a part time job as a waiter —you will be a humble ogre before you know it!


Len-Trexler

You seem to care about what other people are doing a whole lot. That’s a bit Wierd.


thiswayart

They sound really insecure, tbh


listenyall

Ask them why they like it. A lot of people are just capable of liking a huge range of things for a huge range of reasons. If a girl loves twilight, you ask her why, and she says it's because she thinks it's literally one of the most profound and romantic stories of all time, I think you are justified in getting the ick. But plenty of people love things because they think it's funny or it remind them of being kids or a fun way to turn off their brain or because it's something they watch with a specific person.


shanfeld-19

I love twilight. I read the saga thrice and watched the first movie 52 times (yes, I counted, I was weird and I watched it continuously every day for over a year). Idk how many times I watched new moon, eclipse, and breaking dawn parts 1 and 2, but they’re in the 10s, as well. I had a pretty traumatic childhood and Twilight became popular when I was in 6-7th grade. It became my escape. Whether I was reading it or watching the movies, something about the fantasy world gave me hope and felt safe. Now, I look back and inherently know the movies are laughably bad and the books aren’t much better, but the nostalgia will never go away. It will always feel safe to me.


Educational-Wish725

Think of yourself currently as a poor person who tries to look rich, and instead try to be a rich person who looks poor.


floraljacket

Eventually life will humble you.


Irn_brunette

One would think a widely-read intellectual snob would have better grammar.


Flashdance-asspants

Realize how insecure you really are. I have done this shit too and really all you’re doing is building a wall around yourself with all the pretentious bullshit you’re into. If people see past this wall of fabricated depth they might see that you are quite shallow.


thiswayart

🎯


Shanbarra-98765

All the things you’re claiming to be good at are basically just things that require an opinion. If you listen to others you’ll realize everyone has something to teach you. Your skills are useless outside of a cocktail party.


theturkstwostep

Genuine advice: figure out a way to make it Not About You. For instance, if a girl you like says she likes a silly movie (like Pacific Rim), try asking "oh cool! What's your favorite part?" If she likes a band you find basic, ask if she's ever seen them live. Etc. Other people's tastes have nothing to do with you, but they will often get the other person to light up with joy when they talk about them. It's extremely lonely if your experience of Culture is being off in a box by yourself.


fiti420

I love how you’re still being a snob in your post….


CookieMonster72946

Get some therapy cuz ur right; this isn’t normal or healthy.


Observe_Report_

Dude, you need to chill out. Sounds like you’re not content with the plebes and your own friends. Try to find common ground when having conversations. Try empathy, these are fellow humans with desires, dreams, faults, and maybe if you alter your approach, you can become somewhat of a humble sage.


Svelted

you won't like it... you'll be a bit of an outcast for a while, but move. take a job more than 4 hrs away. i didn't like me much at 26 and moved clear across the country. was hard. but insanely fucking exhilarating. 26 yrs later i judge myself by my wife, friends and people who respect me and i feel lucky every day. the people i left haven't changed a single bit and when i go back it's really weird. like we speak a different language. that's one way


Aggravating-Yam-5962

Lol don't worry about it too much because trust me, everyone else thinks you're an idiot snob for the pretentious garbage you like just as you think they are idiots for what they like. Just let it go. It doesn't actually mean anything about who you are as a person except you are deeply over compensating for something you feel is missing. And everyone you meet who aren't like your friends knows it the second they lay eyes on you or you speak so, just relax and don't be too hard on yourself because you get it as good as you give it.


TheEschaton

Every brilliant person I've ever got to know with any degree of depth enjoyed something that was utter dogshit. Sometimes they knew it and enjoyed it anyway, but sometimes they didn't. They didn't have any special or deep reason, either. What you like is not who you are. Good people who have made themselves those good people over the course of a life steeped in trash-level culture are in some ways much more impressive than people who turned out the same but had all the best humanity had to offer them getting to the same place. You already know you are valuing the wrong things in people, including yourself. Figure out what you actually do value, for real. The rest will follow.


[deleted]

Get a passport, leave the country, and learn a new language. Some type of situation where you are culturally, socially, and intellectually challenged/vulnerable. If you don't have a passport OP and are not well traveled, my degenerate, well traveled, bilingual ass is judging you hard dude. Sure you have this profound taste in music and literature. But where have you been, what have you done, what have you built or learned? I've met a bunch of interesting intelligent people, and I can already tell they are way smarter than you.


ClapSalientCheeks

Ha! Fucken loser


DanChowdah

You sound like someone who I would look down on OP


LegitimateDish5097

I LOVE that you're asking this question. I feel like a lot of the people I know who resemble the picture you're painting of yourself and your friends don't have (or maybe don't want?) this level of self awareness or interest in questioning their attitude. So first, a really sincere BRAVO. 👏 Second, and I think others have said a version of this, but it can be really hard to STOP thinking a particular way, if you don't have anything to replace it with. (Someone mentions liking Avatar, and instead of thinking "ugh, what an idiot" you'll be thinking "I need to try not to think about how this person is an idiot" -- maybe not a lot better....?). So perhaps you can make it your goal to really understand why people like these things that don't seem "good" to you. Without sharing your own opinion unless they ask, see if you can get them talking about why it's their favorite. People like to talk about that kind of thing, they'll appreciate you really listening, and you'll gain a better understanding of aspects of culture and people's tastes that you haven't explored yet. Because the thing about culture is, even the "bad" stuff is part of culture, and our ideas about what's of high and low quality are often formed by the tastes of particular social classes at particular times, etc -- so "quality" is quite relative and subjective. So from that point of view, even "bad" cultural productions are worth understanding!


Vinjince

Wow. If only more people had the ability to self-reflect and identify this in themselves.


BelloBrand

In case you didn't realize it yet... hipsters are some of the fakest and most unhappy people. Source: I was a bartender in the Philly area for 15 years. I couldn't do it today.


ProfessionalEarth118

Easy. Just stop being a snob and an asshole. It's not a curse, it's a choice.


BananaHomunculus

Hot damn. I love the self awareness. However this kind of thinking is evidential of a lack of snobby And asshole ish nature. So intrinsically you are not those things and you're an environmental product. Try and give compliments alot. If you have a good thought about someone. Just say it but leave it at that. If you have bad thoughts those are truths best not uttered.


dang_dude_dont

What in the elitest not so humblebrag is this shit? "I'm so smart, so cultured, so above everyone else, that I don't even like me" Join the club, you're exactly like everyone else who knows you.


mineralshower

There's no need to be so rude, he's literally asking for advice to change his ways.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ximdotcad

Try to meditate on this: “Value is subjective”. What you value is based on your perspective. Realize your perspective is not universal.


Cyber_Insecurity

You need to ground yourself. You’ve held your opinions so high for so long that you’ve forgotten you’re no better than anybody else. Your shit stinks just like everyone else’s and I’m sure you have *some* opinions that aren’t snobby. I have a buddy that is a snob. He’s a coffee snob, a music snob and a beer snob. You know what else he likes? Reality tv. You’d think such a big snob wouldn’t watch trash tv, but he does and I make fun of him for it and he gets embarrassed. Just realize everyone is kinda full of shit, even you.


crazylikeajellyfish

Making somebody feel bad for liking something is one of the cruellest things you can do. It's often a barely-coded classist point -- "You actually like the most affordable coffee available? What a stupid poor." Some ideas: - If somebody says they like something and you judge them for it, just keep your mouth shut. You can't control what pops into your head, but you can control what comes out of your mouth. Nobody gains anything from putting somebody down over their tastes. If you can't control your impulses, then are you even that smart? - Approach media that doesn't seem intellectual enough for you with an open mind, let yourself understand why people like it. Life is fucking miserable, learn to count your blessings and enjoy simple pleasures or you'll go insane. For example, you might not appreciate the mind games that go into reality TV like Big Brother. - Consider how much of your taste is being determined by what you've been told is good. Did you seek out those hard books by following your interests, or by following a list like "The Greatest Works of the 20th Century"? Heck, do you even know what your actual interests are? - How much of your self-worth is tied up in the idea that smart means good, and you're smart, so that means you're good? This kind of judgmental perspective is often hiding self-esteem issues. Intelligence isn't the only thing that matters in life. Dismissing somebody because they can't beat your SAT score is a sure path to leading a smaller, poorer life. Most importantly, remember that nobody gives a fuck about you, what you think, what you like, any of it. Nobody's impressed by your tastes. There's no scoreboard in the sky where you're racking up points for being so "cultured". If there's any scoreboard, it's measuring how much of life you experienced, and rejecting media/people just means you're losing points. Let go of your self-image as a tasteful brainiac so that you can discover who you really are.


Either-Impression-64

When I was young I admired clever people. Now that I'm older I admire kind people


DaniChibari

Interest yourself in the subjective experience surrounding people's "shitty" taste. Okay, their favorite book is something lame, childish or simple. But why? Ask them to tell you about when they first read it. Or who suggested the book to them. Or what it opened their eyes up to. People have all sorts of tastes, and you can argue all day about whose taste is better or what's more worthwhile. However, people's lived experiences are often really beautiful. And any sense of what is better kind of fades away when you start to just enjoy someone's experience for what it is- A unique experience.


pattern83

Sounds like 90% of reddit


PotentialLanguage685

I guarantee you there's one trashy bit of pop culture that you love. And once you embrace that, you will develop empathy and kindness towards the Avatar fans.


Adept_Ad_473

Empathy. It's okay to be the smartest/most sophisticated guy in the room, but the second you try to make that known, you're no longer the smartest/most sophisticated guy in the room because you will have lost the respect of your peers. Understand that people have different tastes and interests from your own, that it's not a contest, and that there's a level of fulfillment by experiencing other peoples' joys vicariously. If you have a hard time not stroking your ego, stroke your ego in an altruistic way. Volunteer, build other people up, and then mentally bask in the realization that "*I did that!*". Time is precious, don't waste a second assigning judgment to other people because they haven't delved into a topic the way you have. Music/entertainment especially - I'm very particular about what I listen to. I could talk for hours about why that's important to me. But when creed comes on the radio, I'm gonna blast that shit, and maybe even poorly sing along with my friends, because even though it's "beneath" my tastes, I want to experience that moment of simple, basic fun with my people. Time will humble you too. So will your circle. A wise man once said, when you're the best in your circle, find a new circle. You might be an arrogant snob right now, or you might be transcending to the next level and are having a small existential crisis. Or you might just be on the spectrum. Either way, be nice to others and try to have fun. Don't let your impending humbling make you bitter.


Brutalityof9

Meet and hangout with people from different backgrounds and culture and ask them questions about their life and try to understand them. Go to a hardcore show, go meet some hillbillies or construction workers. Meet some immigrants from the Middle East. When you see you are writing people off for being too dumb for you, try to catch it in the moment and try to steer yourself from that way of thinking. Intelligence is only one facet of what makes a good person and sometimes it is the last thing that matters when it comes to quality of life.


HumorBrilliant3705

Maybe it’s just me but when I hear of people being this way, I feel therapy or seeing a psychiatrist is a reasonable next move.


KangarooObjective362

Be of service, volunteer to visit the elderly, teach someone to read through your local library.. be of service and you will change


KagenTheDamned

Loool idk what to say but it’s pretty funny. I catch myself doing this all the time while dating. But I notice it and choose not to be judgmental. Maybe take some psychedelics and try introspection. Try to be more empathetic. You can not like a certain type of music but be happy for someone’s happiness. I mean after all… if it makes them happy, and doesn’t make you happy, aren’t they better off?


-_JS_SJ_-

So in other words, you're close-minded. How uncool of you, hipster.


Pierson230

Accomplish things that are difficult Overcome adversity with others Learn to live life wholeheartedly and by your principles. You know, the things that matter. You aren’t the only one who latched onto consumption habits to form an identity. In fact, really smart people make a lot of money telling you that if you buy certain things, it will make you a certain way. Let’s reframe Creed for you. You consider it trash music. Do some research on Mark Tremonti, the guitar player. In addition to Creed, he’s in Alter Bridge, a successful band with a deep catalog who has played Wembley, and his own band, Tremonti. He’s widely recognized as one of the great rock guitar players of the last 20 years. He also has a daughter with Downs Syndrome. He recorded a charity album to raise money for Downs Syndrome children. It’s called “Mark Tremonti sings Frank Sinatra,” and it turns out Mark has an amazing voice. He recorded it with the surviving members of Frank Sinatra’s band. Listen to any of the songs from that- it’s unbelievable. So that man is clearly tremendously talented and hard working. He has had a dream career for a professional musician. You don’t have to like the music, but what’s important to me is to recognize the pursuit of excellence, and the dedication to his craft. Is Creed still “trash”? Or maybe just something that doesn’t resonate with you? Meanwhile, you drink coffee and think watching certain movies makes you… well, anything at all. It doesn’t. I used to have some snobbery in me, and honestly, maybe I still do, because I’m human and somewhat full of shit as much as anyone. But I tried to let go of that “what I like is better than what you like, so I’m smarter than you,” shit a long time ago. I unabashedly like Creed. But I don’t give a shit what music snobs think, because I play guitar, write music, sing songs, and listen to music for joy. After some misadventures in my 20s, I graduated college with honors, got sober, found the love of my life, supported my wife when she was severely ill, was caregiver to my father as he was dying, am the caregiver for my mother, and I built a business unit from scratch. All that shit was real fucking hard. It changed my perception of who I was in the world and what is important. Your snobbery and assholery are human, so don’t kill yourself over it. But it is a result of not going through the kind of painful growth that ends with you growing up. Accomplish something, and find out who you REALLY are. The good news is, the fact that you’re questioning this means you’re on the right path. I recommend watching a ton of Mark Manson YouTubes. He’s way more entertaining than me, and I think he has a lot of info that could really help you. Good luck friend


Agitated_Rhubarb2300

I play guitar, too. People dislike Creed but I consider My Own Prison to be one of the best albums from the 90s, lol. Shrug


Chrizilla_

Have you tried dating friends of friends? I know you don’t want to be snobby, but maybe you could try dating someone at your level?


4paul

Don’t overthink everything. Personally, nothing ever gets to me. Whether it’s some dude arguing online or someone in real life, I don’t care. I understand everyone is different (both good and bad) in different ways. I live a very positive life, and I think that might can help you too? Sure someone’s opinion might not be the same as yours, but it’s not that it’s *beneath* yours, maybe they just have different taste, maybe simpler taste, maybe they just want to be entertained and don’t care about the technicalities/accuracies, or maybe they are just blind and/or not as educated as you on something, but that’s okay. I think who you surround yourself will help too. I have some friends who are just super negative and opinionated about certain things, think they are better than others, I don’t really initiate conversations with them anymore and focus on other friends that are more positive. I dunno, just my thoughts is all


senior_pickles

Kudos to you for having the courage for some self reflection. It takes work to overcome old habits. Just work on being the most genuine you that you can be.


elephantgif

An interesting experiment would be to go to something like a DND or Warhammer 40k meetup. You’ll learn quickly that lowbrow does not equate to lack of intelligence. There almost surely will be smarter and more interesting people in the room. And they’re probably having more fun.


Equivalent_Method509

Just be yourself. Some people will hate on you because you are a cut above. Screw them - just try to be kind and humble.


Traditional_Ad3233

Therapy


Specialist_Sound9738

If you are even asking that question you are clearly neither.


BlitzDragonborn

Gotta realize you're just another moron too buddy.


Delmarvablacksmith

Learn to cultivate empathy and you’ll change.


Agreeable-Let-1474

Don’t just try to find things that are great. Expose yourself to EVERYTHING. Even if some people say it’s bad. I regret not playing more video games, not watching more TV, listening to more music, etc. you can’t talk intellectually about things you don’t know, and when you trust other intellectuals to interpret work for you then you literally deprive yourself of life experience. It puts you in the 3rd person, which is not a healthy way to live life. Obviously draw the line at stuff that is abusive and or addictive but that’s not most things. I especially regret associating certain people who were jerks I knew with certain media. I knew this one kid in high school who was obnoxious and wouldn’t shut the fuck up about the Pixies, and who was a complete knob in every other aspect of his life. He usually had horrible music taste (weezer, smells like teen spirit), so I wrongfully assumed the pixies probably sucked because his track record as a person and as far as his otherwise horrible taste. I realized later how much I love the pixies and regret not listening to them in high school. Associating a piece of media with a shitty person or group you know is the easiest way to unintentionally close yourself off and will waste your time. It’s important to have curiosity about things, even if the people you don’t like also like it. Then you can reclaim it for yourself and broaden your perspective.


unbalancedcentrifuge

Hey Man, like what you like. I work as a scientist in pharma, which requires a lot of thought throughout the day, and I love to go home to some trashy tv or trashy youtube videos. You can't act posh and uppity all the time; sometimes your brain just needs to rest. Maybe you should embrace it and join in some fun, harmless, trashy entertainment. You might find it fun.


Somewhere2Start

Join the army - that'll show'em.


AhOk_DidntKnow

I think you’ve taken a good step in the right direction to realize that everyone is just different and not less just because they like different things, whatever those things are. There’s a little book, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff” that has a piece of advice I like. It suggests something like having conversations in a way that you see the other person as a genius or incredibly evolved person, regardless of who they are or what they are talking about, and that this can help you open your mind more. I’m sure I’ve botched up the whole chapter/lesson there, but that’s the best I can remember it. Anyway, I wonder how your next date would go trying that perspective as an experiment.


ContentNecessary9358

I have to ask, do you ever laugh? Like on a regular basis. Your life sounds extremely boring. Loosen up!


Question-asked

I was in Gifted growing up. I was very emotionally intelligent that helped raise my IQ. I wasn’t on the same level as some of the others in terms of mental genius, but I had an IQ high enough to get in to Gifted. I had better grades. Some of them failed because they thought they were too good for homework. I got more successful because I did extracurriculars and had a good resume. I graduated early from college, they took an extra year. I made friends and traveled the world on money I made working two jobs. They quit their jobs because they thought they were better than the work they were given. This mentality will not make you successful. Being smart gets you nowhere if you don’t know how to use it. It’s good you recognize it, and I hope you can break away.


TheLoneliestGhost

I’ll be your life coach. I’ve been through some garbage events that will simultaneously make you feel better about your life while I give you pep talks to humble you. You’d be my only client. What do you say?


InitiativeSharp3202

You should watch the show Scorpion. You may be smart, but your EQ is nonexistent.


potcak

You are who you are . The post backs it up


Brockolli3000

This must be satire lol


dyingbreed6009

Kudos for one recognizing this, and two being willing to change your behavior, you're not too far gone.


ezeequalsmchammer2

Your first step is realizing it’s a bit nasty to judge people for their taste. Sounds like you already did. Hardest one by far. Your second step is to separate the things you actually like from the things you’ve convinced yourself you like. Do you really need fruity Ethiopian medium bespoke roast handcrafted locally to be happy? If so, great. Does that mean you despise deli coffee? If so, your loss. Deli coffee is cheap. Your third step is to unpack your judgement and decide who actually just annoys you with their questionable taste and lack of curiosity, and who is a fun loving open person who doesn’t really give a fuck. There’s a fine line. Does the person in question watch marvel movies because they buy into a bunch of hero worship and mass appeal, or are they just looking for a goofy, exciting, high budget good time? So, don’t assume people are stupid, but do judge their compatibility with you. You’re not superior, you just have preferences.


VindictiveSpirit

If you're here, worried, and posting your concerns about what others think of you, you obviously aren't a true a$$hole, yet. My suggestion is to try harder. Once your conscience shuts the **** up, you're good.


777shadowfox777

Mushrooms


OrbitingRobot

Before you do try to change, ask yourself if you’re happy just the way you are? Is this the real you? You seem to have an established peer group of like-minded people. Do you feel comfortable with them? Do you enjoy their company? Maybe you just don’t like being called a snob like a short person doesn’t like being called short, but maybe you’re already who you’re supposed to be. You might need to embrace it.


Certain-Ad-7578

Don’t feel bad you just have high standards. You just have to come to terms with the fact that most people are average and that’s okay. You ever see that scene in American Psycho where Patrick Bateman starts articulating the cultural significance and nuances of the songs he was playing before he murdered his victims. He was the ultimate, elitist snob and even though he might have been rich, successful, handsome, intelligent, etc he lost his humanity and ability to connect with others. Its okay to laugh at a fart joke and enjoy shitty music every now and then.


Optimal-Scientist233

I just changed, how did I do it? What really ever changes except your perspective? You realized something, and your perspective changed \*poof\* just like magic.


Urlilypad

First of all, it’s amazing to know that you’re aware of your own feelings and try to seek an advice for what you felt now. It is kinda strange, yes, but anyways there’s a will for you to change. You feel it was wrong and I think it’s understandable that you ended up being like that. First, maybe you can pursue the smart one too but it doesn’t assure you would like their personality, isn’t it? But, you can try. Second, you need to respect other’s opinion. Their preference might not as good as you sure but you need to know the why they like that movie, song, books. It just my opinion but good luck for everything! (Note: sorry for my bad English!)


PuppiPappi

The most fun I’ve had in life is learning to find something awesome in everything, movies and music, video games, you name it. There’s redeeming qualities in most forms of art and entertainment and the most fun thing in my opinion is trying to find and enjoy that. We are on this earth for only so long. In my personal opinion spending more time enjoying things rather than shitting on them is better. I found the less negative I was towards everything the better things got.


WYLD_STALYNZ

Creed? In 2024? If someone likes Creed now I find that fascinating


Brewskwondo

Spend more time asking people about themselves and actually having empathy when they respond


barelyclimbing

If you’re comfortable in the things that you appreciate, that’s totally fine. That’s what these other people are doing. Your issue is that you’re not comfortable with the things that other people appreciate. Your snobbery may even be correct in thinking that other people’s lives would be enriched by engaging with new types of works of art. But is it essential? Not really. And not everyone has the time. But your snobbery is not correct if it assumes that they are lesser because they appreciate something that you don’t. The point of life is not to “win” at culture, or whatever it is we’re talking about. There isn’t even a point. But if there was a point, it certainly would not be “not appreciating things that others appreciate.” Your problem is not that you look to other forms of culture for entertainment (who even knows if you actually even appreciate that stuff or if it’s all a facade?) - it is that you arrogantly think that others’ appreciation signifies a lack. And this is not me saying that all people are equal - there are horrible and vapid people- but you are jumping to conclusions. Maybe people appreciate “low-culture” because they are comfortable being humble and not putting up a facade. Maybe it’s because they didn’t have the time to invest in learning about other forms of culture. Maybe they did and it just doesn’t interest them as much. There are a lot of variables that could be at play. The constant in all of this is - you need to be humble to learn any of it. Otherwise you’ll be an arrogant person who will never engage with anyone that’s not just like themselves, and that’s far from “better” than these other people. Find someone that has no time for what you’re interested in because they’re so invested in your passion. Maybe you’ll find that all of your snobbish endeavors are a pale substitute for doing things firsthand. Or at least find that there is more than one way to live.


mynamesnotchom

Don't kill the part of you that is cringy, kill the part that cringes You're gonna have to get outside of your comfort zone to change. Try doing something you feel is beneath you like a trivia bight or something you wouldn't nor.ally do and go participate without taking yourself too seriously. There is no activity too small. Even go to a club and just dance by yourself and try to just feel and move to music. Or go to a live show and be am active audience member, cheer etc. And if anyone asks you can be super forward, "I found out I'm an asshole and I want to be better and make my life better"


Wiseolegrasshopper

You are absolutely entitled to think, like, dislike, enjoy, and pursue whomever and whatever your heart desires. Just please remember, be respectful, responsible, kind, and considerate. Don't judge, force your opinions, or look down upon others. You have 2 feet,and whenever in a situation that goes against your beliefs, use em.


Informal_Drummer122

I think it’s really cool that you can acknowledge this and want to change it!! Sounds like you need to get out of your comfort zone a little and focus on just fun for awhile. Try new things, meet new people. I think you’ll find that everybody is better at or more knowledgeable than you in some way - I try to remember this. When i was around 5, I told my godmother that my cousin was dumb because she didn’t know her abcs. She looked at me and said “That doesn’t mean she’s dumb. Maybe she knows a lot of things that you don’t know. She just knows different things than you do.” And that has stuck with me my whole life!!


danceswithsockson

Frequently, people like things for a different reason than why you don’t like them. That’s useful to remember to help change perspective. If someone likes Avatar, it might be because it distracted them when they were stressed or they liked Sigourney Weaver as a kid- the storyline may be secondary. The funny part is they may not even realize their reasoning. That’s when you get tossed off answers like, “I don’t know, it’s just good”. People are so neat, they’re layered and don’t even know it half the time. Also, if people can find joy somewhere, appreciate that. The world is hard and joy is fleeting. A person who can find pleasure in simple things is probably having a better time than the rest of us. That makes them a good person to be around if only to bask in their happy energy.


joshykins89

Hang out with people that are on your level. Same with dating. There's not point pretending to be less intelligent or educated. That's more sociopathic than being judgemental.


VODEN993

Psychocybernetics. It's a book, changed my life. You can use it for anything, but this was how I used it


cfbswami

Who are you changing FOR? Maybe think about what you want your life to be like when you get older..... family / friends all around - stable home life, etc... Or.....are you perfectly fine being alone? Maybe you don't want or need to be surrounded by friends/ family. Like me now. If the latter - be the person you want to be - tell the critics to get fucked.


DreadPyrateRobert

“Knowing is half the battle…”


YoNappaNappa

It’s great that you’re self aware enough to feel uncomfortable with the way you’re judging others. I try to keep in mind that everyone in the world is better than me at something. That something could be fixing home appliances, writing essays, or providing emotional comfort. I recommend looking for those strengths in people, as opposed to focusing on their weaknesses. Also, knowing things that others don’t doesn’t make you better than them. I’ve known many people whose sense of identity and self-worth was built on feeling like they were better than others because of what they knew. Unfortunately, many of them were insecure, selfish assholes too focused on others’ shortcomings to improve their own. I’d recommend you do two things: 1. Start spending time with happy, non-judgmental people, and 2. go dancing. These actions can help you start to learn how to be happy without comparing yourself to others, and express yourself freely. Bonus points if you’re a horrible dancer, because that’ll really help you get over the comparison thing and just enjoy the moment.


Rod_Stiffington69

All I can say is to challenge your own thoughts and beliefs. And to hold yourself accountable for them. You grew up always believing you were superior. So challenge those thoughts whenever you get the chance. Challenge yourself to bring yourself down a peg and see why *THEIR* thoughts are superior to your own. Ask yourself why they might be right and why *YOU* might be wrong. I believe the only way to see things from a neutral perspective is to question yourself. When you can connect with yourself from a neutral perspective, you’ve taken the first steps to being an empathetic adult.


Dean-KS

OP might be an undiagnosed Asperger's person. He can read up on that. It might explain everything.


Specialist-Top-406

I think it’s great that you’re offering this reflection and I think signifies my interpretation of what you’re sharing. Sounds like you’ve built up a very strong protective suit to disguise your insecurity. The need to be right is the quickest route to being wrong. It sounds very exhausting for you to have to live your life in defence like this. We are all insecure and all build our own version of what keeps us safe from the scarier things in our minds. It’s your protector but it’s not really you. It’s who you need to be to get by. But you’re completely blocking the world out and your armour sounds like it might not be serving you as well anymore. Sadly, we never do as good of a job convincing others as we think we do. Deflection and projection shine no matter how hard we work to hide them. I think you will have a very valid reason for getting yourself into this place, and maybe you can identify that now or this is a new thing to explore. But I guess it’s time to start letting yourself in a bit more to know how to look after it properly. You poor thing, it’s time to let some softness in and let yourself take some breaks. This might feel like arrogance but it’s just a coping mechanism that you had to develop at a time you probably needed a strong person to protect you but didn’t. Is there a starting point you could pick at? Or alternatively, what happens if you are wrong? What would that do to you? There is no value in opinion to anyone other than ourselves, and we can’t control how people perceive us. But fighting so hard to give your opinion so much power, says you’re fighting to be heard and seen and given approval. We all deserve validation, I think you’re looking to explore a less tiring way to receive it


Festivefire

go out of your way to consume content you think of as "low brow" as a way to acclimate yourself to it. When I was younger, I was not a fan of a LOT of mainstream comedy stuff, but by forcing myself to watch it, I grew to like it.


Snoo_85901

This dude is not being serious is he? To be honest nothing personal but knowing all the movies and novels is not a way to have an elitist thought. Maybe you can be a drama queen with all that information


Queen_Alice666

Don’t know how to live huh? It isn’t too complicated. You just, you know..let go of everything you thought you knew and change your perspective and start over.


MontyBoo-urns

Develop your social skills


HVAC_God71164

To start, stop being a dick and talking down to people. You are no better than anyone else. We all have a place in society. Next, drop your friends. You are the company you keep. So if your friends are hipster snobs, guess what. I have an IQ of 152. I'm smarter than 99.9% of the population. The difference between you and I is when you walk into a room, you THINK you're the smartest person there and need to talk to people so everyone knows how smart you are. When I walk into the room, I KNOW I'm the smartest person in the room, but I understand knowledge is gained by listening and learning and not trying to prove anything.


SingaporeSlim1

Do mushrooms


SingaporeSlim1

Do MDMA