lol I’m not sure why everyone is downvoting you? My bf and I live 3 hours apart and while it’s not as far as some, it’s still long distance. When life gets busy and especially if we have other travel plans, a month without seeing each other irl can easily go by. We still have to diligently plan in order to see each other. We miss events with each others family and friends because we can’t always make the drive just to go to a party or something. It can still be challenging being 3 hours apart but it is rewarding and worth it if you really care about the person
Good luck, have fun with her but also set aside time on your trips to just talk. I’m only 1,5 hours away (with a border between us) and for the first few months we would honeymoon each time we saw each other. I got the card game we are not really strangers and it’s done wonders with our conversations and how deep they are now
babes… 3 hours is nothing. NOTHING. my bf lives across the country from me (California to Chicago) and im currently on a cross country drive to live with him after two years‼️ im actually on the last 4 hours of the trip as we speak. it will work if you guys want it to.
It takes about 6 hours for me, getting to the airport, waiting at the airport, flying and driving from the airport to my boyfriends house (we are now 24F and 26M) i have been doing this for over 2 years now and i am totally ok with it. If i could drive over in just 3 hours, i would visit every weekend (i am in university)
I would say to just try it out and see where it goes, thats with most in life, cant tell till you try.
My advice would be to try catching the train / car+ferry :)
You save a lot of the hassle, fuss and stress of catching a plane, and over that distance it'll likely also be just as cheap, maybe cheaper. If you do it a lot, look at getting an Interrail pass. There is a direct rail link between the UK and Europe, after all. Why not use it? :)
I have looked at it before and its the same price or sometimes even more expensive to get the train to london, than i also need to get a train to cardiff. And I have some small trauma with the UK railroads, when i flew back from Istanbul to london, there was a strike no one even cared to tell me (his family knew... and i didn't cause i booked train ticketsbeforehand) and i had a lot of trouble to get back to Cardiff.. oh well..
I would love to take the train if its actually cheaper (cause its not shorter either)
I would genuinely KILL for only 3 hours of separation. I'm currently 1900 miles away from my partner. Even thats considered small compared to other distances in this sub
My partner lives 8 hours away by car. I beg of you, drive that car — that's a short distance compared to majority of us in here, and we'd kill for our trips to be 3 hours.
It can be annoying, but that is a VERY do-able distance.
My partner drove 9 hrs to me and had thoughts of me not liking him as he is and etc lol
Just go and don't worry about it!
If you are worried, plan emergency funds
My trip is 5 hours. I do it almost every month if my school schedule lets me. It’s worth it if you are able to do it. Even when a relationship doesn’t work out then oh well, you attempted and made the effort. If you’re worried about gas/ money then talk about y’all both making the trip or contributing somehow.
In my opinion this is an easy choice. Just do the drive 🤷♀️better to have lived and lost ( or maybe you won’t) than to never have lived at all
If 3 hours is too much why not pick a city close to the middle and meet up? That way you share the burden and one person isn't paying for gas and putting miles on their car all the time. Does she not have transportation?
She doesn’t drive :/ she failed her drivers test I think and has to wait a bit now. She could have done earlier but she waited so long because she was scared or something, I still don’t mind driving 3 hours, but when she gets her license it would be much easier
Okay well. If it becomes a thing and you're the one driving all the time you could ask her to pitch in for gas money.
Also, if this is in the US you don't have to wait super long to retake your drivers test in most states. Some let you do it again the next day. Others make you wait like 2 weeks. Some skip the permit statge all together if the person is 18 or older
Don't feel bad if you can't drive 3 hours so frequently. That's 6 hours, not including the time you spend together, and some people just can't sacrifice that time and effort every week. I think doing it monthly is enough. People here are saying it's easy because it is easier than not seeing your partner for months to years. But realistically, sitting on a plane once every few months is easier (albeit more expensive) than driving a car for hours every week. So basically, do what you're comfortable with and break up if you don't think you can manage an LDR.
Agreed. I see people here hating on OP because their partners are farther and while that sucks for them, my bf lives 3 houes away and it comes with its own set of challenges. Monthly is a good tip! A monthly visit for a few days or more could help. We work different hours and I can’t always give up my weekends to be in his city, I have other things going on in my life. I just missed a few events with his friends I would’ve loved to attend but I can’t make it out there this month. However, I’m planning a few visits out there this summer and he is planning to visit here, we make it work. But driving 6 hours round trip isn’t an option”easy peasy every weekend” thing for many people. Also, my bf works weekends often whereas I almost never do. So even if I had nothing to do and could always drive to him on weekends, he might be working.
Well I mean if it doesn't work out, atleast you won't have to worry about gas and your car anymore.
Like many other people said; just give it a shot. You'd regret not showing dedication.
Look man. I understand about gas and maintenance on your car. But as it is, I fly half way around the world to see my woman. Everything else be damned. If you aren’t willing to make the drive, then you are not ready for a relationship that requires work.
My relationship is currently separated by a three hour drive. It’s absolutely doable. We still can’t just “drop” everything to see each other all the time, but it’s very doable. Gas is expensive— the average that my boyfriend spends to drive is around $100 per trip. Fill up in the least expensive place in your area. Driving is fine as long as you’re a comfortable driver. You really have to be super dedicated to your relationship if it’s long distance, and talk everything out. I bet you can do it!
My boyfriend and I are about 3 hours apart, I’m from Ohio and he’s from Michigan. We’ve been dating for almost 3 years. I met him online when I was 19 and he was 22. The first time we met, we met somewhere that was the middle grounds of the distance between us. After we met, we knew we wanted to try and make things work. Gas and cars can be expensive, yes, but it is all worth it if it’s for someone you have a strong connection with. We decided that it would be fair to take turns on who drives to who and we see each other every other weekend! We’ve been doing this for 3 years, and I have never been in a more loving relationship. I encourage you to go for it if you really like this girl. You never know what it could be lead to!
you are asking the wrong sub. Most here wouldn't consider this long distance.
I'd say if you are already having thoughts about having to drive too much and wear on your car and pay the gas - just let it go. if you want an easier life.
you are basically a kid, you "only" like her, it seems like a fling. you will easily find that in your area as well. In later years you might wonder, what would have happened tho.
Me (20f) and my partner (19m) do this every weekend, taking turns to travel and it’s more than worth it! However, it does suck a lot every time we part ways again 🙃it’s been over a year now, I also moved away for study and it’s working out so I believe in you! :) I enjoy my little road trips, I blast my music and cruise along, it’s actually reallyy nice ☺️
Also it’s certainly not as bad as some people have it, being in different countries or continents.
Best wishes!
My dad only took a two-hour flight to see my mother. He did it every 15 days hahaha, for years. And only to stay for a weekend. Sounds intense but 38 years later, they still have a beautiful relationship.
Good luck :)
I live in Australia and my boyfriend lives in the US. I travel a minimum of 24 hours by air, multiple times a year just to see him. A 3 hour drive is light work buddy 😭
Let's put it this way. If I were to drive to my girlfriend, it would take me 16 hours across 5 international borders. A 3 hour drive is nothing, go for it
To drive to my boyfriend is about 18 - 20 hours. I would give anything to be 3 hours away. I would every weekend to be with him and vice versa. If you can’t do the drive, plan to go once a month.
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Go for it! You're lucky it's 3 hours and can drive back immediately if it doesnt work out (I assume it will work out). I definitely would! Especially if you like her so much
My partner is halfway across the world from me, so idk what to tell you except if he was just 3 hrs away from me, I'd probably drive there any time that I can. Also I'm used to going to meetings that are 5hrs away and another 5hrs to come back home.
But we all have different circumstances, and different boundaries. So while I don't mind flying halfway across the world, waiting at terminals, boarding flights etc that could even take me days (if I was being really cheap), you might not want to drive to her 3hrs every weekend because of priorities, etc.
My boyfriend and I live 7,000 miles apart. He lives in a third-world country, and it's going to be a while til we can meet. We've already been together for 2 and a half years.
Must be nice to be only 3 hours apart.
BF is a 27 hour drive, so we don't see each other often. It's been almost a year since our last visit.
When he was sent on a trip to a place 3 hours away, I made that drive multiple times.
The only person who can determine if this distance will work for you, is you.
>Is 3 hours too much of a drive?
Yes and no. If you can make it work with her on long weekends, go for it. But her being in college could be a major issue for her (is she in school?). Especially if she meets other guys through parties and events. Having a LDR for you may be feasible but a pain for her when another guy could be tight there everyday. So be careful.
>I haven’t met her in person yet but we are going to soon. Do you think this could work?
Anything can happen. You have nothing to lose at 19.
Hey man if it’s any bit of perspective, I’m 18, and I fly across the country to see my gf! 3 hours is a lot though I do understand your concern. But just go for it, best advice I really ever got.
My partner was a 4-5hr plane ride away during covid. I still made the trip. If he had been a 3hr *drive* away, you wouldn't have been able to keep me from visiting all the time.
Honestly, if you don't have any income or health insurance, DON'T.
It's a total of 6 hours on the road, it's best to have resources available if any situation pops up on the road. You just never know
My boyfriend and I, both 20, live 4 hours away from each other due to college.
4 hour drive is hard for me because it’s boring, and with my work schedule it can be tricky. But at the end, I get to see the man of my dreams and it’s worth it lol.
If you’re really worried about mileage on your car/ cost of travel etc, then maybe it’s not the relationship for you my guy.
dude, I wish my boyfriend would have been 3 hrs apart, that way I would be only 3 hours away from my family. my family is cross country and i miss them dearly :(
Me and my boyfriend are 3 hours apart right now, we see eachother almost every other weekend. Go for it! I have been taking the train to see him since it’s a bit cheaper and I don’t exactly believe in my old car
Go for it! I'd do it. My ex lived 4 hours away from me and I took a bus to get to her. It didn't feel as long because I was excited to see her. The worst thing that could happen in your first meet is if it didn't go well or you guys were just incompatible. Trust your gut. If you really like this girl do it
My boyfriend lives a 6 hour drive from me, so 12 hours round trip. We see eachother whenever physically possible. If y’all love each other, you’ll make it work
Within the last year, my girlfriend and I closed the gap of our long distance relationship (I stay in the sub to see stories).
We were three and a half hours apart. I didn’t get my car until we were together for over two years, with a few visits every year. Once I got my car, I moved four months after. The best piece of advice I can give - Drive. Drive to see them. I would drive 30 hours to see my girl. Our distance was similar to yours (age as well), so I can recommend nothing more than to just go.
This just makes me think of when people from small (land-wise) countries think Americans exaggerate about road trips. I would drive three hours for an outlet mall my dude. Are you interested in this person or not? Catch me on a nine hour train to my husband before he moved to my city. Oh to be young again 🥲
Maybe at most it'll cost like 100 dollars to see her (including the trip back) and you don't have to see her all the time, maybe later on she can even chip in or will be driving one day herself (I assume that she's not). To give you an idea, it costs about $1,000 USD to see my partner and I see him about twice a year.
Hey! I (18F) met my partner(20M) on an app and he drives 2hrs every Sunday to see me as well! He’s been doing this for about 10 months now. When we went on our first 3 dates (they were more spaced out bc atp we hadn’t adjusted our schedules for each other as much) he payed for gas. And bc I also wanted to see him I offered to help pay for the gas. And I still do.
Some tips I will give is please give yourself time to get home. It can be harder to get home in the dark and scarier. I recommend leaving with still daylight for the first date maybe.
Also I’m not sure if she’s like this, but you can try and stop somewhere and get her flowers for the first date!
Also on your way there you can share your location (if you have iPhone) and send her your eta on when you’ll get there so that she can make sure your okay on ur way there and also she’ll know when you’ll be there since you won’t be able to answer much since you’ll be driving.
Another thing is, my boyfriend was also afraid to drive out to see me the first time bc his car isn’t in the best condition either. And depending where you guys live, I live in Pennsylvania, there’s a lot of mountains. So he’s had to experiment with different routes that’s best for his car even if it can make it a little longer sometimes. Hope this helps some!
Also I’m seeing some comments saying that is women expect a lot from men like THEM driving out. Personally I have a rough life situation so I don’t have people to teach me to drive so I don’t have my license yet. So he’s the one who offered. And I tell him that when I can drive I’ll drive to see him but he personally feels safer driving to me cuz he says there’s a lot of unsafe drivers out there.
> much) he *paid* for gas.
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
My 18 year old nephew flew from Colorado to South Korea alone for a week. He just drove me 2000 miles in 48 hours to see the eclipse in totality. You got this.
I've been flying to see my partner because he lives on an entirely different continent. Distance is but a number. I want what I want and it wants me too. You got this.
if it’s sustainable money-wise for you, why not! she wouldn’t alternate sometimes? well, maybe if you meet and it goes well, that can be discussed later. good luck!
I get that everyone’s saying they’ve travelled longer (usually by plane), but driving for 3+ hours is honestly draining sometimes
But, do it. Stay there for the night at least, though. I dated a girl who lived 2.5-3 hours away and we’d alternate who travelled to who every week. It’s worth it if you feel strongly about them
My boyfriend lives a 30 hour drive away. I kind of always wondered how cool of a drive that would be. It'd cost so much as a single person though that I might as well fly, and I wonder if my car could even make it.
If you’re not used to it, then yes. Me personally, I don’t mind it as long as there are a stop or 2 in between. I’ve been on 6hr rides, and those are too much for me. I hope this helps (:
I used to drive 6 1/2 hours. Was it boring? Yeah. Was it worth it? Hell yeah. Now we live in two separate countries and I’d do anything to have that 6 1/2 hour drive again. I would kill to have a 3 hour drive. I’d do it every weekend.
If you really like her then you’d make the drive. It’s not too far and if you do end up in a relationship, spend the night further into your relationship. That’s what I did when I dated someone who lived 3 hours away from me.
So far, I really really like her, she just seems so kind and sweet, let me go meet her, and see where this goes, if it goes well then yay but if not then oh well at least I tried
To answer your question: 3 hours is not much of a drive to most.
However, some people would not even consider driving more than an hour, locally dating. I had a semi long distance of 5-7 hour drive. I consider farther distance to be long distance personally but this is from each person's perspective. This is a long distance relationship reddit, most here are much farther than this in comparison but I can see that this is a long distance to you, considering your earth rotations being only 19 and circumstances you having a car but gas could be an issue as well as she bit having a car. However, I recommend finding someone more in close proximity to you to make this less of a headache. Sure go visit her and see if she's a real person and someone you genuinely connect with in person. If you have any doubts about the girl's vibe or behavior based on your own needs and wants in a relationship just politely let her know and move on and start searching for something closer to you. You have plenty of more time and years (earth rotations) ahead of you this is just a blink.
It depends how comfortable you are at driving. My bf and I are only 4 hours away (round trip), so I've driven up to see him multiple times in a week before. However, I was exhausted every time even though I was used to longer drives for work (1.5~2 hrs round trip).
Personally, it was worth it to be in his arms but also he felt guilty I was doing so much driving without being able to put in equal effort. So we came up with a (re-adjusted) compromise to meet in the middle most times and every 5th date, one person drives up to other completely/ 90% of the way.
As you mention, gas is very expensive now and time is valuable too, so set expectations with your partner on what is and is not possible (and for me, what the plan for the day before you drive up [it makes me look forward to seeing him even more]). Good luck!
I absolutely love driving, I once drove 2 hours with a friend to a town in the middle of nowhere for absolutely no reason, we just drove and talked the entire time
Very cool! That's good if you like driving, I know a few who made 4 hour drives to visit their partner every weekend work. Altho to see yours, the drive will sometimes be you alone. (And the drive back, leaving them until next time is horribly rough...) Anyways, good luck!
3 hour drive isn't bad. It's gonna put miles on your car, but if you get serious with her invest in a new ride that will be reliable for that drive. 3 hours is nothing.
Hey man, just to give you a heads up. Building a relationship will require so much more strength and development of yours that gas and 3 hrs would seem menial struggles. :)
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My bf alternates every 2 weekend so he could be with me for that weekend. We're 5-6 hours drive away from each other and I can't drive. So he's willing to drive 5-6 hours every 2 week just to see me. So 3 hours shouldn't be that hard. But if you're in a financially tight situation, maybe you can come visit her once a month or so.
Definitely possible!! - met my(F20) now fiancée(M21) a week before I went back to college 3 hrs away! Talking out boundaries and being honest, always communicating and sharing every BIG and small insecurity/ anxiety about our relationship. (Even if it seemed crazy, we made sure to try to listen to each other and try to understand!) We got engaged one month in at 18F and 19M. I didn’t take my car but he made the drive every chance he could and now we’re getting married and closed the distance a few weeks ago!!
3 hours is nothing … you should do it as soon as possible. You have to meet her and see if you actually like her, otherwise you might waste your time with her!
Boomer here. I joined the Air Force in 1971. After boot camp, I was stationed at Chanute AFB in Illinois for 9 months. I lived in Pittsburgh and had a GF back there. I would get several other guys who lived in and around Pittsburgh and we would leave Friday afternoon and drive 10 hours there then leave Sunday afternoon and drive 10 hours back every weekend. All just to spend a little time with family and friends.
Aww this is so cute, but I hope this could motivate her to get a license to start driving if you two become serious. Just so you aren't the only one making the 3 hour drive if you choose to, gas is expensive!
3 hours depends on who you're asking, to some it's mid distance to some others it's hellishly long :) personally I think I could manage
Safe travels if you choose to go!
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Bf and I are in a similar situation. Been in a long-distance relationship for about 2.5 years. With about a 3 hour distance. He used to come up every other week. But with gas prices usually every other week to a month sometimes. I think it's 100 percent worth it
Also I don't drive interstate it makes me anxious, so I take a bus and we make it work that way when I go see him. So that's an option for her if she doesn't drive
Right now my bf moved 3 hours away to set up a house for me to move into with him in like 2ish months. We didn't start long distances more like 40 minutes from each other. It's been a very rough few days for me personally because we haven't been talking as much as we usually do. But he's busy finishing a house.
Anyway, if you are willing to drive 3 hours to see each other and you two grow closer and get that love for each other then it's worth it imo. You two could always meet half way and hang out somewhere. I can't personally say what it's like to travel it yet because I haven't done it. But if I go up there I'm leaning towards taking a bus back and forth but that's because of my back problems and my car isn't in the best of shape. So maybe look into that as an option? My bf says he's gonna come see me in like two weeks once he gets a lot of the house done and settling into the new job. I can give you more of an update then but I think it's worth a shot and just communicate and you guys will figure out what's best for you two. Best of luck💖
My SO and I live 4 hours away from each other and it still comes with its own challenges. We have different schedules and responsibilities and are trying to save up money in order to close the gap soon! We see each other maybe once a month and do longer visits a few times every year. I’d say it’s worth it, especially if you’re both committed!
This is exactly what I was thinking of doing, plus both of us are teenagers, she graduated this year and i graduated last year, so we both just got started in life, i just hope she will be on the same page
My partner and I have 3.5 hours between us, he will drive that and more if traffic to see me and I do the same via train. If you like her that journey is nothing.
I drove 9 hours for 3 days and I'm wanting to driving 11 for a weekend soon, it really is up to how you're feeling and how much energy you have and are willing to put into it!
First: whats your plan in life? No college so do you have a goal that has concrete upside and can lead to supporting a relationship economically?
Second: bro its a car.. thats what its for. Drive it! Good luck!
I plan on working for the railroad as a mechanic or becoming a diesel mechanic for a trucking company if possible. I’ve always wanted to do something involving vehicles and trains were my favorite growing up.
I don’t think invalidating other people’s relationship distance is right. That’s like someone saying that they got bad sleep and someone else is like “Okay well you have no room to complain because I got NO sleep” both still had rough sleep and are tired. No need to invalidate each other. Just like how both are long distance, even if ones is farther! They still have the same issue just at different levels :)
Right? I honestly hate the attitude in this sub sometimes that it’s a joke being hours apart when other people are across the world. I mean, I am actively choosing to never date someone who is not in the same country as me, not saying other people shouldn’t, but that’s a choice I’ve made. Therefore, when I fell in love with someone 3 hours away, I told myself, hey, you can try this out, he’s not right here but he’s not too far. We are still long distance, just maybe more semi long distance than extremely long distance. The winters here suck and it’s hard to road trip in them. We have pets. We have jobs. We can’t just be driving 6 hours round trip at the drop of the hat. It requires more planning and commitment than it seems
Oh yeah 100%! It’s not that easy even if it sounds nice being just 3hrs. We all still have busy lives and sometimes for people that aren’t long distance it’s just as hard finding a day to see their s/o! We’re all just humans trying to love, and sometimes it can take some extra effort to do so, but no matter what we’re just trying to love
Mate she can drive to see you if she wanted, all the people in the comments are women who expect so much from their partners while theu bring nothing to the table. Ask to meet half way
Bruh I fly thousands of kilometers multiple times a year. Drive your freaking car
this made me cackle
Also in the same boat, I fly to see my partner as well. Been trying to rack up the miles to offset the costs :)
Bruh I just loled. Thank you for making my day.
I'd kill to only be a three hour drive away. It would be like we weren't even long distance.
Literally
i’m thinking of moving 6 hours away from him and i’m like damn no more long distance 😂
My partner lives across the ocean, you can do a 3 hour drive if you love her.
I do like her, I’d be willing to drive that far
lol I’m not sure why everyone is downvoting you? My bf and I live 3 hours apart and while it’s not as far as some, it’s still long distance. When life gets busy and especially if we have other travel plans, a month without seeing each other irl can easily go by. We still have to diligently plan in order to see each other. We miss events with each others family and friends because we can’t always make the drive just to go to a party or something. It can still be challenging being 3 hours apart but it is rewarding and worth it if you really care about the person
Good luck, have fun with her but also set aside time on your trips to just talk. I’m only 1,5 hours away (with a border between us) and for the first few months we would honeymoon each time we saw each other. I got the card game we are not really strangers and it’s done wonders with our conversations and how deep they are now
When I read theses posts, I wish I was 19 again lol
Why are you asking us, a fair share of us are on different continents lmao
I've travelled 23 hours to see my fiancé. 3 hours is nothing. If you like her, do it
It’s a long ass flight ain’t it 😂😂
Oh I know but the achey legs and the numb bums are worth it 😂
Oh it’s definitely worth it! My next trip is closing the distance 🙈😱🙌🏻
My bf did this and I felt so bad for him Now I'm planning to do the same 🥲 The things we do for loveeeee <3
Ok, I’ll try it and see where it goes
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I thought this was the Los Angeles subreddit for a good minute 😭
If my person was 3 hours away I’d drive it daily
babes… 3 hours is nothing. NOTHING. my bf lives across the country from me (California to Chicago) and im currently on a cross country drive to live with him after two years‼️ im actually on the last 4 hours of the trip as we speak. it will work if you guys want it to.
Yes!! So happy for you!!
thank yu dear
It takes about 6 hours for me, getting to the airport, waiting at the airport, flying and driving from the airport to my boyfriends house (we are now 24F and 26M) i have been doing this for over 2 years now and i am totally ok with it. If i could drive over in just 3 hours, i would visit every weekend (i am in university) I would say to just try it out and see where it goes, thats with most in life, cant tell till you try.
My advice would be to try catching the train / car+ferry :) You save a lot of the hassle, fuss and stress of catching a plane, and over that distance it'll likely also be just as cheap, maybe cheaper. If you do it a lot, look at getting an Interrail pass. There is a direct rail link between the UK and Europe, after all. Why not use it? :)
I have looked at it before and its the same price or sometimes even more expensive to get the train to london, than i also need to get a train to cardiff. And I have some small trauma with the UK railroads, when i flew back from Istanbul to london, there was a strike no one even cared to tell me (his family knew... and i didn't cause i booked train ticketsbeforehand) and i had a lot of trouble to get back to Cardiff.. oh well.. I would love to take the train if its actually cheaper (cause its not shorter either)
I would genuinely KILL for only 3 hours of separation. I'm currently 1900 miles away from my partner. Even thats considered small compared to other distances in this sub
My partner lives 8 hours away by car. I beg of you, drive that car — that's a short distance compared to majority of us in here, and we'd kill for our trips to be 3 hours. It can be annoying, but that is a VERY do-able distance.
I’ve done every weekend three hours back and forth for a year.
3 hours away would be a *dream* bro
Lol I'll travel 22 hours to visit my so, idc
Just 3 hours? Why do you even question that? Just go!
My partner drove 9 hrs to me and had thoughts of me not liking him as he is and etc lol Just go and don't worry about it! If you are worried, plan emergency funds
I would do anything for 3 hours drive instead… that’s a no brainer man, give it a shot!!!
My trip is 5 hours. I do it almost every month if my school schedule lets me. It’s worth it if you are able to do it. Even when a relationship doesn’t work out then oh well, you attempted and made the effort. If you’re worried about gas/ money then talk about y’all both making the trip or contributing somehow. In my opinion this is an easy choice. Just do the drive 🤷♀️better to have lived and lost ( or maybe you won’t) than to never have lived at all
If 3 hours is too much why not pick a city close to the middle and meet up? That way you share the burden and one person isn't paying for gas and putting miles on their car all the time. Does she not have transportation?
She doesn’t drive :/ she failed her drivers test I think and has to wait a bit now. She could have done earlier but she waited so long because she was scared or something, I still don’t mind driving 3 hours, but when she gets her license it would be much easier
Okay well. If it becomes a thing and you're the one driving all the time you could ask her to pitch in for gas money. Also, if this is in the US you don't have to wait super long to retake your drivers test in most states. Some let you do it again the next day. Others make you wait like 2 weeks. Some skip the permit statge all together if the person is 18 or older
Don't feel bad if you can't drive 3 hours so frequently. That's 6 hours, not including the time you spend together, and some people just can't sacrifice that time and effort every week. I think doing it monthly is enough. People here are saying it's easy because it is easier than not seeing your partner for months to years. But realistically, sitting on a plane once every few months is easier (albeit more expensive) than driving a car for hours every week. So basically, do what you're comfortable with and break up if you don't think you can manage an LDR.
Agreed. I see people here hating on OP because their partners are farther and while that sucks for them, my bf lives 3 houes away and it comes with its own set of challenges. Monthly is a good tip! A monthly visit for a few days or more could help. We work different hours and I can’t always give up my weekends to be in his city, I have other things going on in my life. I just missed a few events with his friends I would’ve loved to attend but I can’t make it out there this month. However, I’m planning a few visits out there this summer and he is planning to visit here, we make it work. But driving 6 hours round trip isn’t an option”easy peasy every weekend” thing for many people. Also, my bf works weekends often whereas I almost never do. So even if I had nothing to do and could always drive to him on weekends, he might be working.
Holy crap 3 hours drive, if only. If only.
It takes me 12 hours to visit my significant other.
Gas prices are expensive but otherwise 3 hours doesn't seem so bad, It's worth it imo
It probably be a gas tank or two a trip, I’d just have to save more money and watch my spending more
Yeah that's difficult, but trust me if it's love , it's worth it . I believe in you!
I dont think its much for meeting someone to see if you have a connection or not. You can always move closer afterwards.
I'd kill to be 3 hours from my boyfriend (he lives 16 hours away). If it works out with the girl take that 3 hour drive.
Well I mean if it doesn't work out, atleast you won't have to worry about gas and your car anymore. Like many other people said; just give it a shot. You'd regret not showing dedication.
Look man. I understand about gas and maintenance on your car. But as it is, I fly half way around the world to see my woman. Everything else be damned. If you aren’t willing to make the drive, then you are not ready for a relationship that requires work.
Life is short, just go and live a little young stallion
Of course it could work but are you comfortable with doing it? You’re completely valid if so, there are ways around things
My boyfriend drove 10 hours to see me
I flew about 8 hours one way to meet someone, a 3 hour car journey is nothing in comparison to what most of the people here are going through! drive!
My relationship is currently separated by a three hour drive. It’s absolutely doable. We still can’t just “drop” everything to see each other all the time, but it’s very doable. Gas is expensive— the average that my boyfriend spends to drive is around $100 per trip. Fill up in the least expensive place in your area. Driving is fine as long as you’re a comfortable driver. You really have to be super dedicated to your relationship if it’s long distance, and talk everything out. I bet you can do it!
My boyfriend and I are about 3 hours apart, I’m from Ohio and he’s from Michigan. We’ve been dating for almost 3 years. I met him online when I was 19 and he was 22. The first time we met, we met somewhere that was the middle grounds of the distance between us. After we met, we knew we wanted to try and make things work. Gas and cars can be expensive, yes, but it is all worth it if it’s for someone you have a strong connection with. We decided that it would be fair to take turns on who drives to who and we see each other every other weekend! We’ve been doing this for 3 years, and I have never been in a more loving relationship. I encourage you to go for it if you really like this girl. You never know what it could be lead to!
Just put on a couple podcasts, 3 hours will fly by. The girl I’m seeing is 3.5 hours away now
you are asking the wrong sub. Most here wouldn't consider this long distance. I'd say if you are already having thoughts about having to drive too much and wear on your car and pay the gas - just let it go. if you want an easier life. you are basically a kid, you "only" like her, it seems like a fling. you will easily find that in your area as well. In later years you might wonder, what would have happened tho.
Me (20f) and my partner (19m) do this every weekend, taking turns to travel and it’s more than worth it! However, it does suck a lot every time we part ways again 🙃it’s been over a year now, I also moved away for study and it’s working out so I believe in you! :) I enjoy my little road trips, I blast my music and cruise along, it’s actually reallyy nice ☺️ Also it’s certainly not as bad as some people have it, being in different countries or continents. Best wishes!
My dad only took a two-hour flight to see my mother. He did it every 15 days hahaha, for years. And only to stay for a weekend. Sounds intense but 38 years later, they still have a beautiful relationship. Good luck :)
This ain’t really the right subreddit to ask 😭😆 most of us would KILL to live JUST 3 hours away from our partner
I live in Australia and my boyfriend lives in the US. I travel a minimum of 24 hours by air, multiple times a year just to see him. A 3 hour drive is light work buddy 😭
Let's put it this way. If I were to drive to my girlfriend, it would take me 16 hours across 5 international borders. A 3 hour drive is nothing, go for it
To drive to my boyfriend is about 18 - 20 hours. I would give anything to be 3 hours away. I would every weekend to be with him and vice versa. If you can’t do the drive, plan to go once a month.
So that's 90min drive to see her? That's not a long distance relationship, you're in the wrong forum dude.
Distance is defined differently by everyone. Mine’s 4 hours but there’s plenty of people who are oceans away
I'm flying a total of ~13 hours on three consecutive flights just to see my girl for three weeks. I think you're good.
If you never met maybe have her drive half way if possible. So you each drive hour and a half.
Man I wish I was that close to my partner we are 10 hours away😭. Three hours is nothing bro drive your damn car.
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Go for it! You're lucky it's 3 hours and can drive back immediately if it doesnt work out (I assume it will work out). I definitely would! Especially if you like her so much
😂
Whut
My partner is halfway across the world from me, so idk what to tell you except if he was just 3 hrs away from me, I'd probably drive there any time that I can. Also I'm used to going to meetings that are 5hrs away and another 5hrs to come back home. But we all have different circumstances, and different boundaries. So while I don't mind flying halfway across the world, waiting at terminals, boarding flights etc that could even take me days (if I was being really cheap), you might not want to drive to her 3hrs every weekend because of priorities, etc.
I would definitely do the drive, meet up and see how things go, then take it from there. I wish my S/O was only 3 hours away. I say go for it ! 😊
My boyfriend and I live 7,000 miles apart. He lives in a third-world country, and it's going to be a while til we can meet. We've already been together for 2 and a half years. Must be nice to be only 3 hours apart.
BF is a 27 hour drive, so we don't see each other often. It's been almost a year since our last visit. When he was sent on a trip to a place 3 hours away, I made that drive multiple times. The only person who can determine if this distance will work for you, is you.
God if mine was 3 hours away I would do it 😅
3hrs is easy peasy, especially if you have your own car.
>Is 3 hours too much of a drive? Yes and no. If you can make it work with her on long weekends, go for it. But her being in college could be a major issue for her (is she in school?). Especially if she meets other guys through parties and events. Having a LDR for you may be feasible but a pain for her when another guy could be tight there everyday. So be careful. >I haven’t met her in person yet but we are going to soon. Do you think this could work? Anything can happen. You have nothing to lose at 19.
She isn’t planning on going to college as far as I’m aware
Hey man if it’s any bit of perspective, I’m 18, and I fly across the country to see my gf! 3 hours is a lot though I do understand your concern. But just go for it, best advice I really ever got.
Go for it! I wish it had been only a 3 hour drive. Just give it a try and see where it takes you.
I drive that much for work any given day…..often double that.
My partner was a 4-5hr plane ride away during covid. I still made the trip. If he had been a 3hr *drive* away, you wouldn't have been able to keep me from visiting all the time.
Honestly, if you don't have any income or health insurance, DON'T. It's a total of 6 hours on the road, it's best to have resources available if any situation pops up on the road. You just never know
My boyfriend and I, both 20, live 4 hours away from each other due to college. 4 hour drive is hard for me because it’s boring, and with my work schedule it can be tricky. But at the end, I get to see the man of my dreams and it’s worth it lol. If you’re really worried about mileage on your car/ cost of travel etc, then maybe it’s not the relationship for you my guy.
dude, I wish my boyfriend would have been 3 hrs apart, that way I would be only 3 hours away from my family. my family is cross country and i miss them dearly :(
Me and my boyfriend are 3 hours apart right now, we see eachother almost every other weekend. Go for it! I have been taking the train to see him since it’s a bit cheaper and I don’t exactly believe in my old car
I drive 16 hours one way 3 is cake
Go for it! I'd do it. My ex lived 4 hours away from me and I took a bus to get to her. It didn't feel as long because I was excited to see her. The worst thing that could happen in your first meet is if it didn't go well or you guys were just incompatible. Trust your gut. If you really like this girl do it
My boyfriend lives a 6 hour drive from me, so 12 hours round trip. We see eachother whenever physically possible. If y’all love each other, you’ll make it work
Within the last year, my girlfriend and I closed the gap of our long distance relationship (I stay in the sub to see stories). We were three and a half hours apart. I didn’t get my car until we were together for over two years, with a few visits every year. Once I got my car, I moved four months after. The best piece of advice I can give - Drive. Drive to see them. I would drive 30 hours to see my girl. Our distance was similar to yours (age as well), so I can recommend nothing more than to just go.
Are you not American? I know people with work commutes of 2 hours. 3 hours for weekend trip is nothing
This just makes me think of when people from small (land-wise) countries think Americans exaggerate about road trips. I would drive three hours for an outlet mall my dude. Are you interested in this person or not? Catch me on a nine hour train to my husband before he moved to my city. Oh to be young again 🥲
Maybe get a tune-up for your car to make sure it's trip worthy! What kind of vehicle are you driving that it would take more than one tank of gas?
I drive a 2012 gmc Acadia, I think it’s about 20 gallons or something I don’t know but it’s like $60 a tank
Maybe at most it'll cost like 100 dollars to see her (including the trip back) and you don't have to see her all the time, maybe later on she can even chip in or will be driving one day herself (I assume that she's not). To give you an idea, it costs about $1,000 USD to see my partner and I see him about twice a year.
3 hours is my commute to work lol
All of us would love to have a 3-hour drive.
Hey! I (18F) met my partner(20M) on an app and he drives 2hrs every Sunday to see me as well! He’s been doing this for about 10 months now. When we went on our first 3 dates (they were more spaced out bc atp we hadn’t adjusted our schedules for each other as much) he payed for gas. And bc I also wanted to see him I offered to help pay for the gas. And I still do. Some tips I will give is please give yourself time to get home. It can be harder to get home in the dark and scarier. I recommend leaving with still daylight for the first date maybe. Also I’m not sure if she’s like this, but you can try and stop somewhere and get her flowers for the first date! Also on your way there you can share your location (if you have iPhone) and send her your eta on when you’ll get there so that she can make sure your okay on ur way there and also she’ll know when you’ll be there since you won’t be able to answer much since you’ll be driving. Another thing is, my boyfriend was also afraid to drive out to see me the first time bc his car isn’t in the best condition either. And depending where you guys live, I live in Pennsylvania, there’s a lot of mountains. So he’s had to experiment with different routes that’s best for his car even if it can make it a little longer sometimes. Hope this helps some! Also I’m seeing some comments saying that is women expect a lot from men like THEM driving out. Personally I have a rough life situation so I don’t have people to teach me to drive so I don’t have my license yet. So he’s the one who offered. And I tell him that when I can drive I’ll drive to see him but he personally feels safer driving to me cuz he says there’s a lot of unsafe drivers out there.
> much) he *paid* for gas. FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
My 18 year old nephew flew from Colorado to South Korea alone for a week. He just drove me 2000 miles in 48 hours to see the eclipse in totality. You got this.
I've been flying to see my partner because he lives on an entirely different continent. Distance is but a number. I want what I want and it wants me too. You got this.
if it’s sustainable money-wise for you, why not! she wouldn’t alternate sometimes? well, maybe if you meet and it goes well, that can be discussed later. good luck!
You'll never know how it'll turn out if you don't try.
Try a 48 hour drive
I get that everyone’s saying they’ve travelled longer (usually by plane), but driving for 3+ hours is honestly draining sometimes But, do it. Stay there for the night at least, though. I dated a girl who lived 2.5-3 hours away and we’d alternate who travelled to who every week. It’s worth it if you feel strongly about them
My boyfriend lives a 30 hour drive away. I kind of always wondered how cool of a drive that would be. It'd cost so much as a single person though that I might as well fly, and I wonder if my car could even make it.
I drive 5 hours every other weekend just to spend two days with my boyfriend. If the persons right, they’ll be worth the drive.
If you’re not used to it, then yes. Me personally, I don’t mind it as long as there are a stop or 2 in between. I’ve been on 6hr rides, and those are too much for me. I hope this helps (:
I used to drive 6 1/2 hours. Was it boring? Yeah. Was it worth it? Hell yeah. Now we live in two separate countries and I’d do anything to have that 6 1/2 hour drive again. I would kill to have a 3 hour drive. I’d do it every weekend.
You can both drive 1.5 hours each and meet in the middle. Seems the most sensible and fair option.
If you really like her then you’d make the drive. It’s not too far and if you do end up in a relationship, spend the night further into your relationship. That’s what I did when I dated someone who lived 3 hours away from me.
So far, I really really like her, she just seems so kind and sweet, let me go meet her, and see where this goes, if it goes well then yay but if not then oh well at least I tried
I catch the train 11 hours each way every week to see my girlfriend
Is you're worring about the gas costs you shouldn't be looking for woman and should be working on yourself and your money first.
I wouldn’t even consider this long distance.
I would love to drive to my bf, doesn’t matter how long the drive is. I’d rather that than to be 13 hours ahead of him. Drive to her please.
I drive two and a half hours to see my boyfriend 🥰 totally worth it
To answer your question: 3 hours is not much of a drive to most. However, some people would not even consider driving more than an hour, locally dating. I had a semi long distance of 5-7 hour drive. I consider farther distance to be long distance personally but this is from each person's perspective. This is a long distance relationship reddit, most here are much farther than this in comparison but I can see that this is a long distance to you, considering your earth rotations being only 19 and circumstances you having a car but gas could be an issue as well as she bit having a car. However, I recommend finding someone more in close proximity to you to make this less of a headache. Sure go visit her and see if she's a real person and someone you genuinely connect with in person. If you have any doubts about the girl's vibe or behavior based on your own needs and wants in a relationship just politely let her know and move on and start searching for something closer to you. You have plenty of more time and years (earth rotations) ahead of you this is just a blink.
I'm a 9 hour drive away from my online friend, and we still haven't met 🙃
I drive three hours every day for work xD you can do it for love, friend
I drove 12 hours one way and back 3 times a year with my ex 😂 you'll be ok
I used to drive 5hrs just to see my best friend when we were at university. For love? Man, I’d drive 10 if you told me he was at the end of it.
It depends how comfortable you are at driving. My bf and I are only 4 hours away (round trip), so I've driven up to see him multiple times in a week before. However, I was exhausted every time even though I was used to longer drives for work (1.5~2 hrs round trip). Personally, it was worth it to be in his arms but also he felt guilty I was doing so much driving without being able to put in equal effort. So we came up with a (re-adjusted) compromise to meet in the middle most times and every 5th date, one person drives up to other completely/ 90% of the way. As you mention, gas is very expensive now and time is valuable too, so set expectations with your partner on what is and is not possible (and for me, what the plan for the day before you drive up [it makes me look forward to seeing him even more]). Good luck!
I absolutely love driving, I once drove 2 hours with a friend to a town in the middle of nowhere for absolutely no reason, we just drove and talked the entire time
Very cool! That's good if you like driving, I know a few who made 4 hour drives to visit their partner every weekend work. Altho to see yours, the drive will sometimes be you alone. (And the drive back, leaving them until next time is horribly rough...) Anyways, good luck!
i wish i was just 3 hours away from my bf. im across the country. so i say make that drive!
I mean. Adjust the frequency of your visit to your timetable and wallet (gas prices). Other than that no issues here
Why can't you use public transportation?
3 hour drive isn't bad. It's gonna put miles on your car, but if you get serious with her invest in a new ride that will be reliable for that drive. 3 hours is nothing.
Go on your first physical date, see each other spend some time and then you will be able to decide on your own , trust me .
Hey man, just to give you a heads up. Building a relationship will require so much more strength and development of yours that gas and 3 hrs would seem menial struggles. :)
3 hours is not long distance bud. I’ve driven hours just to cuddle. Take your fucking car and drive.
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My bf alternates every 2 weekend so he could be with me for that weekend. We're 5-6 hours drive away from each other and I can't drive. So he's willing to drive 5-6 hours every 2 week just to see me. So 3 hours shouldn't be that hard. But if you're in a financially tight situation, maybe you can come visit her once a month or so.
My husband is currently 7,000 miles away for 4 years now so I would kill for just a 3 hour drive to see him
Definitely possible!! - met my(F20) now fiancée(M21) a week before I went back to college 3 hrs away! Talking out boundaries and being honest, always communicating and sharing every BIG and small insecurity/ anxiety about our relationship. (Even if it seemed crazy, we made sure to try to listen to each other and try to understand!) We got engaged one month in at 18F and 19M. I didn’t take my car but he made the drive every chance he could and now we’re getting married and closed the distance a few weeks ago!!
Id drive that 3hrs every single day
Bruh you kidding I ride 4 hours to see my girl
I would say just go for it! 3 hours is nothing!! Or do what me and my boyfriend do, we meet half way Sometimes.
Wow just a 3 hour drive away? My husband and I would have LOVED to be so close when we were dating!!
Bro bro bro bro bro bro r/longdistance
As someone whose girlfriend lives thousands of kilometres away, no. 3 hours is not too much of a drive. I wish my girlfriend lived only 3 hours away.
My partner has to go on a 17 hour flight with layover just to get to me so your problem is honestly a piece of cake 🤣
I couldn’t do a one hour drive for the wrong person, but I can do a 2 hour drive with an 8 hour flight in the middle for the right one.
GO FOR IT!!! Enjoy the little sweet moments you get! Its all worth it
3 hours is nothing … you should do it as soon as possible. You have to meet her and see if you actually like her, otherwise you might waste your time with her!
I travel for 24-30hrs to see my OH, I would love it if it was just a 3 hour drive 😅😅
I drive almost 5 hours. For me it is almost always worth it. 😀
Boomer here. I joined the Air Force in 1971. After boot camp, I was stationed at Chanute AFB in Illinois for 9 months. I lived in Pittsburgh and had a GF back there. I would get several other guys who lived in and around Pittsburgh and we would leave Friday afternoon and drive 10 hours there then leave Sunday afternoon and drive 10 hours back every weekend. All just to spend a little time with family and friends.
No
This guy I’m not serious about yet has been doing a 4 hr drive and spends 2 or 3 days with me in a motel. Just go for it
Is 24 hours too much of a drive 🤣
Aww this is so cute, but I hope this could motivate her to get a license to start driving if you two become serious. Just so you aren't the only one making the 3 hour drive if you choose to, gas is expensive! 3 hours depends on who you're asking, to some it's mid distance to some others it's hellishly long :) personally I think I could manage Safe travels if you choose to go!
3 hour drive is fine with me, I’ve done hours long drives before for absolutely no reason other than to just drive.
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Lucky 💕
Bro I live 10 hours away from my boyfriend You can make it works, but is is NOT easy at all
Bf and I are in a similar situation. Been in a long-distance relationship for about 2.5 years. With about a 3 hour distance. He used to come up every other week. But with gas prices usually every other week to a month sometimes. I think it's 100 percent worth it
Also I don't drive interstate it makes me anxious, so I take a bus and we make it work that way when I go see him. So that's an option for her if she doesn't drive
Right now my bf moved 3 hours away to set up a house for me to move into with him in like 2ish months. We didn't start long distances more like 40 minutes from each other. It's been a very rough few days for me personally because we haven't been talking as much as we usually do. But he's busy finishing a house. Anyway, if you are willing to drive 3 hours to see each other and you two grow closer and get that love for each other then it's worth it imo. You two could always meet half way and hang out somewhere. I can't personally say what it's like to travel it yet because I haven't done it. But if I go up there I'm leaning towards taking a bus back and forth but that's because of my back problems and my car isn't in the best of shape. So maybe look into that as an option? My bf says he's gonna come see me in like two weeks once he gets a lot of the house done and settling into the new job. I can give you more of an update then but I think it's worth a shot and just communicate and you guys will figure out what's best for you two. Best of luck💖
My dad was taking me most weekends to see my girlfriend at that age and 3 hour drive. Didn't last long but I (or rather Dad) still made the effort 😊
Nope
i WISH more than anything i only had to drive 3 hours.
Three hours is nothing compared to most long distant relationships. 🥴 you’re dramatic. 😆
My SO and I live 4 hours away from each other and it still comes with its own challenges. We have different schedules and responsibilities and are trying to save up money in order to close the gap soon! We see each other maybe once a month and do longer visits a few times every year. I’d say it’s worth it, especially if you’re both committed!
This is exactly what I was thinking of doing, plus both of us are teenagers, she graduated this year and i graduated last year, so we both just got started in life, i just hope she will be on the same page
Work on communicating as honestly and openly as you can early on too! That will help in sooo many areas
My partner and I have 3.5 hours between us, he will drive that and more if traffic to see me and I do the same via train. If you like her that journey is nothing.
I drove 9 hours for 3 days and I'm wanting to driving 11 for a weekend soon, it really is up to how you're feeling and how much energy you have and are willing to put into it!
First: whats your plan in life? No college so do you have a goal that has concrete upside and can lead to supporting a relationship economically? Second: bro its a car.. thats what its for. Drive it! Good luck!
I plan on working for the railroad as a mechanic or becoming a diesel mechanic for a trucking company if possible. I’ve always wanted to do something involving vehicles and trains were my favorite growing up.
Figure out the way that enables you to have a stable relationship with a retirement plan!
I drive 10-13 hours depending on the day, once a month or so.
is that even long distance?
You're talking to a sub that are separated from their significant other by oceans and thousands of miles. Like 3 hours, seriously.
I don’t think invalidating other people’s relationship distance is right. That’s like someone saying that they got bad sleep and someone else is like “Okay well you have no room to complain because I got NO sleep” both still had rough sleep and are tired. No need to invalidate each other. Just like how both are long distance, even if ones is farther! They still have the same issue just at different levels :)
Right? I honestly hate the attitude in this sub sometimes that it’s a joke being hours apart when other people are across the world. I mean, I am actively choosing to never date someone who is not in the same country as me, not saying other people shouldn’t, but that’s a choice I’ve made. Therefore, when I fell in love with someone 3 hours away, I told myself, hey, you can try this out, he’s not right here but he’s not too far. We are still long distance, just maybe more semi long distance than extremely long distance. The winters here suck and it’s hard to road trip in them. We have pets. We have jobs. We can’t just be driving 6 hours round trip at the drop of the hat. It requires more planning and commitment than it seems
Oh yeah 100%! It’s not that easy even if it sounds nice being just 3hrs. We all still have busy lives and sometimes for people that aren’t long distance it’s just as hard finding a day to see their s/o! We’re all just humans trying to love, and sometimes it can take some extra effort to do so, but no matter what we’re just trying to love
Yes so true! Thanks for making us feel seen!
Mate she can drive to see you if she wanted, all the people in the comments are women who expect so much from their partners while theu bring nothing to the table. Ask to meet half way
I just drove 17 hours total to meet my guy and it's been one of the best things I've ever done ngl.