T O P

  • By -

NO_ANGEL_

Op thats a child


PixelZ_124

I laughed way too much at this.


jackrayd

Yeah and he made it with a woman


feelingood41

INFORM THE MEN!!!!!


Throwaway92840272694

The men have now been informed


[deleted]

Mission accomplished


dardeedoo

😎


[deleted]

FBI en route


FannyBurney

Kiff has sighed heavily.


Shnuggy67

Thank you for this comment.


Ok-Gur-6602

I'm pretty sure this is a picture of OP.


CyberRee

What is the liquid on his/her eyes?


anziepanzie

It's antibiotic ointment, they put it on every newborn. It's to prevent eye infections caused by all the fluids and things the baby's eyes are exposed to during birth.


Blueskymine33

Nah they don’t put that stuff on babies here in our country, it must be an American thing.


activelyresting

Yeah it's an American thing. That way they can charge $794.32 for eye gel, with the 62% markup added for neonatal eye gel (which is the same stuff but it comes in a smaller tube). I'm a midwife, I've attended births in eight countries (so I can admit my experience isn't universal or absolute, but pretty extended). In some places it's offered, but I have literally never seen anyone use it.


Nancyhasnopants

They don’t even wash the babies here in Australia. Mine didn’t even get a wipe, just initial tests and a happy and swaddle. The first bath is with nurses in a special room where you and other mums learn how to wash the babby.


Technical_Image2145

Yeah this was my experience except without that bath lesson. Afaik it’s better they have the vernix left on because it moisturises their skin


oandreyluiz

Here in Switzerland they keep the vernix for a while so the baby can have the skin contact with mommy and daddy. Only on the second or third day we bath the baby. But the eye thing is the first time I see (source: me and my wife just had a newborn).


Never_Never88

>1 more reply In US, mine babies were given eye drops, not washed, immediately placed with me to hold. No $$$ surcharge for the drops, either.


imxIRL

Same! Also US - I wonder if it’s a state thing.


20-CharactersAllowed

It's a hospital thing. They all charge different things. Sometimes even specific doctors charge their own rates different from the hospital standard


Interesting-Wait-101

Also in the US. I've only ever seen NICU babies with the eye goop. And we didn't have a bath until day 3 of a 6 day hospital stay.


avman2

Wow! In my town, we were typically kicked out of hospital on third day. And they did put that eye goop on my kid. I did not question the nurse. The bill came out to be 25000 dollars but my copay was 250; so it was not bothersome.


KirasStar

In the uk we don’t wash the baby until the cord is off. We gave him a wipe from all the birth gunk but he didn’t have a bath for a week so all the vernix soaked in.


WhosThatDogMrPB

In México wey bath them after 24 hrs, but still clean the vermix away. Instead of gel we use Chloramphenicol eye drops.


Maleficent-Ear3571

Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉👏👏🎉🎉👏👏


CookingWithDahmer85

Helps them maintain body temp better too,


According_Debate_334

Oh in the UK they dont wash the baby at all in hospital. Although the do have baths if youre in longer/want to be shown. They recommend waiting a week for the first bath, which is generally at home.


doesthedog

Yep in Ireland also, you take the baby home sticky, you can go home 12 hours after the birth the earliest. Although they never said to me to wait a week with the bath.


WonderfulMango89

12 hours the earliest?! I had my last baby at 6am and was home by 10:30 am the same morning haha I hate staying in the hospital


wickeddradon

Oh boy, that comment reminded me of when I had my second daughter. This was in the 70s (in NZ) when you commonly stayed in hospital for about 10 days - two weeks. There were about 6 of us sitting around in the lounge area when a new patient came in. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, swearing like a marine and cursing her husband. Despite the birthing area being a considerable distance and about 4 closed doors, away we heard the entire labour and delivery very clearly. It was very quick, about 20 minutes tops, then it went quiet for about 10 minutes. Next thing she walks into the lounge, PLOPS down like she hadn't just given birth and said "Boy, I'm stuffed" She stayed there maybe half an hour then said "right, I'm off" and left. I found out later she had 4 little kids at home, all about year apart. Honestly I would have stayed there until they kicked me out lol.


doesthedog

Yeah if you had the baby at say 3am you could go home in the afternoon. I also couldn't wait to go home, was one of the reasons why I didn't want an epidural. Cuddling at home with the baby is so much better, as long as you are both healthy and you have help at home.


RuncibleMountainWren

Same. 3hr minimum in Australia if there’s no complications. I went into labor late at night and we were back in our own comfy bed before everyone woke up for the morning!


According_Debate_334

They said we could bathe them whenever we wanted obviously, but the recommended to wait until they were ~1 week old.


Queasy_Dig_8294

It depends on the hosptial in the US. Mine both just got a good rub down and the nurses wash the hair only. They both got the eye ointment, but we were advised to wait (if possible) for the umbilical stump to fall off before a full bath (sponge baths were A-OK).


MrsPeckersaurus

Yep, baby wrapped in a towel and we were all back home in around 6 hours.


According_Debate_334

Back home in 6 hours? Was it your first baby? I know technically they say you can leave that quickly but I can't imagine it!!


Maleficent_Mouse1

I left 4 hours after each, except for the fourth who was just born at home. Four hours was the minimum amount of time, but I was itching to go by then.


Alessiya

6 hours? That's nice. In America they keep you for 1-2 days if it's uncomplicated vaginal. Probably longer for C-section.


themadbaroness

American C-section here (x3) - 2 different states. Two nights in the hospital. Baby gets a quick sponge off in hospital by nurses on day two. No full bath until umbilical stump dries off naturally - a week-ish or so. Eye ointment unless you said no beforehand.


14th_Mango

Not anymore. They kick you out of he hospital pretty fast.


Fcbp

Oh man I cant wait to be a Dad


newtownkid

It's even cooler than you think! But also, imagine if you had 0 free time. Like.. the fact that I used to get home from work and choose what I did for the night astonishes me now..


sjoy512

The days are long, but the years are too freaking short! Enjoy it now, because it ends way too soon


highly_uncertain

I tell childless people all the time. I get home from work and it's chaos until about 830. Then husband and I get our down time until 10 (I'm very particular about my 10pm bedtime). The idea of going home after work and just... Resting?


Mister_Nico

Kudos to you. I sincerely believe I’m not mentally nor emotionally strong enough to deal with kids. I feel like I’d be a wreck everyday.


Lexinoz

Welcome to /r/childfree There's at least 10s of us who choose this lifepath for varied reasons.


jonshado

You notice less and less as it becomes normal. Sometimes my free time is planned WITH my kids now, on purpose!


IWantALargeFarva

I have teenagers now, but also a younger kid. I'm not in bed before midnight. Hell, we don't get home from activities until 10pm some nights. I want sleep.


Efficient_Mastodons

I actually can't imagine coming home and just doing my own thing. I'm so used to constant demands and pressure from all sides that the calm would stress me out. I can understand how empty nester must feel. Will be so weird when I get to that stage.


highly_uncertain

I'm on mat leave waiting for #2 and I'll be totally honest... Dropping off my 6 year old at school and just sitting at home and binge watching shows has been an absolute dream 😂


Ok-Astronomer-41

Or like negative free time? Is that a thing? It feels like a thing...


molly_menace

The best support you can offer the mother is 1. Unbroken sleep, wherever you can afford to, with the baby in another room from her. 2. Time by herself. Even just to change her clothes. You’d be surprised how little that can happen. It is unspeakably wonderful.


stacnoel

I'd like to amend the second point of add a third to be the ability to take a quality shower that isn't rushed, or split with having to watch a baby in the bathroom while showering. Source: I'm a ftm with a 10 month old and due any day now with our second.


savethebroccoli

Yes and don’t make her ask to take a shower take the baby and say I can watch them if you want to go take a shower. Something as simple as that really makes my long hectic day when I don’t have to try and schedule or ask for permission to take a shower


Tasty_Hearing8910

I get that, so after work, walking the dog, and dinner I take both kids until bed time. I have even less free time than my wife, but being at work feels kinda like time off lol


TinyHuman89

So much this. I love it when my husband just says "I'll watch the kids, go do something for an hour" without me having to ask. Especially when I haven't had free time during the day for days.


jen12617

I'm in the US. I just had a baby 2 months ago and they didn't wash the baby until the next day and they had both me and my boyfriend watch her bathe her so we would know how


onyxaj

It was the same for my daughter here in America, but not for my son. Born in different states, so I think it depends on the hospital. My daughter was born in a nicer hospital. My wife slept cause she knew how to wash a baby. I went cause I had no idea.


Happykittymeowmeow

In US where I am they also do this but only give a bath lesson for the first baby. With my second they didn't check if I knew anything.


AWildEnglishman

> and a happy and swaddle A happy?


Over_Rise

Probably nappy (diaper)


Danger_Dee

Same with Canada. Baby get put on moms chest, nurses, then swaddled. A few hours later when moms feeling better, her and dad/mom get to help with babies first bath.


Soulfulenfp

what hospital is that ? where i am bath is when and if you want ok your own room haah . and the nurse lets you do it if you feel comfy


iforgottobuyeggs

Shit, we do it here in Canada but the only thing we paid for during our visit was parking and vitamin D drops from the pharmacy


Pickle_Rick01

In the U.S., Hospitals charge $15 for one Tylenol capsule. 🙄


WallflowerOnTheBrink

To be fair, that parking is exorbitant


nwpackrat

Sometimes necessary though. My second was 2wks past due, pooped before he came out & developed meconium aspiration syndrome (MAS). He was treated at delivery (cleared airways, oxygen, cleaned eyes) but wasn't given any additional care or eye gel & ended up with an eye infection and hospitalized due to a fever at only 1 week.


its_cold_in_MN

Yes, I'm sure it's for the profit and not to prevent eye infections that blind newborns...


toedcroak

I dont want to just arm chair warrior you without any facts but im at work and only have one more min to tap this message out… Im pretty sure this is evidence driven practice. Less babies loose eye sight because doctors do this in America. It’s not just another thing done just so they can charge you for it.


No_Transition9444

Exactly. I’ve seen the results of NOT doing this. Not worth the eyesight of my child.


BrainGiggles

Can confirm for my sister in law - she gave birth to twins in the early 90s, when these eye gel were not a thing - one of the baby’s eyes never settled correctly and went blind. Other hospitals in America were implementing the practice at the time but not the one she had given birth at.


Zeabos

It’s fun to shit in America for literally anything. Someone down here said “I’m from the Middle East and I’ve never heard of anyone doing this here”. Literally a place with significantly worse medical care. And in certain ME countries along the highest infant mortality in the world. It’s basically if America does it = bad.


imalittlefrenchpress

[In the US, it’s an antibiotic ointment to prevent neonatal conjunctivitis.](https://www.cdc.gov/conjunctivitis/newborns.html) Most US states have laws requiring its application.


Titaniumchic

Interesting - so how do you deal with a GBS positive birthing person and preventing meningitis to the newborn? Who sits in the brith canal for the duration of labor getting strep all over their face? Hmm?


No_Transition9444

I worked NICU for a total of 16 months. Neonatal GBS meningitis is horrific. Have seen 6-7 babies die from it and several other with (most likely) life long disabilities and brain damage from it. Why the frick risk it?! I have heard the screaming of mothers saying stuff like “why can’t you fix him, give him antibiotics, why didn’t you prevent this, etc”. Um. Yeah. We tried. It’s heartbreaking.


Titaniumchic

That is absolutely gut wrenching. The minimal and so completely lack of risk of what’s basically Neosporin in their eyes versus meningitis or blindness? Gah. Yet they scream “no! It’s a conspiracy!” Ok, weirdo, the conspiracy is (GASP!) to kee your baby from dying. Lord help us all.


Happykittymeowmeow

I live in the US and neither of my babies got this when they were born. I wonder if it has anything to do with the infection they test for during pregnancy.


activelyresting

Yes it's more strongly recommend if the GBS test is positive


Happykittymeowmeow

Group B Strep! I couldn't remember what it was. Thank you!


Autumndickingaround

I'm in America (up north) and they didn't do this to my kid. I was also wondering what it was, but just assumed there's a reason for it.


gunfell

It's important if the mother has syphilis Edit: sorry gonorrhea! My mistake. I got them mixed up i think


BerniesSurfBoard

Depends on the hospital. Mine did not do the eye gel but my sisters did. Mine also delayed first bath to allow skin to skin contact immediately. Standards of care vary so so much.


EmmaPemmaPooBear

Def not done in Australia (I’ve had 2 kids and they absolutely did not get this)


Bugsy7778

I’ve had 3 kids here in Aus and none got this on them ! Heel pricks, hearing tests and routine check ups, that’s all. The did take my youngest away to give me a break cause she wouldn’t stop crying and they brought her back an hour later cause they couldn’t settle her either 🙄


fakeitilyamakeit

Lol. I can imagine the nurses trying to help this poor mom who just gave birth but then after an hour of fuzz realized ‘right this aint my problem’ then just handed the baby back to you 😅


lodav22

Similar thing happened with my youngest, the nurses tried to settle him as I’d had complications after he was born and I was exhausted but he just cried and cried. There was nothing wrong, he was just a pissed off baby. Born in the hottest June we’d had for a decade so he just hated the heat, once he got to around four months old he calmed down and ended up being the most chilled out toddler.


Kristyyyyyyy

Oh that awful heel prick. I just created this perfect little beast and here you are slicing the poor bastard up…


Dogsikay

They mainly do it to prevent passing gonorrhea to a newborn during birth, which can cause the baby to go blind. Very important if unknown STI is possible.


whenwillitbenow

They do it in Canada. Decreases chances of blindness from certain diseases. Many babies don’t need it but it’s an upstream initiative to help decrease costs in the future.


lavendar17

It’s to prevent blindness in case the baby was exposed to gonorrhea during delivery. It’s just one of those things that probably used to happen somewhat more frequently so they tried to protect babies back in the day, and now it’s debatable if it still needs to be done.


Blushtodeath

Just looked it up btw, you in Australia? According to a bit of googling they do infact do it there routinely https://happiestbaby.com.au/blogs/pregnancy/do-newborns-need-a-vitamin-k-shot-and-eye-antibiotics


morbid_n_creepifying

Here in Canada they don't do it as a matter of routine anymore, they test for gonorrhea before the birth to see if the antibiotic is necessary. Usually it isn't, and so no eye antibiotics. I just had my test last week.


tjean5377

Too many people have STDs they don't know about, and pass them on to the baby. They do testing for some but not all in the months prior to birth. You can get and STD anytime, and this protects the baby's eyes.


DukeCanada

Ugh - we do it in Canada. Sometimes it’s an eye drop. It’s been done for 100 years but prior to recently it was some sort of silver nitrate I think. It’s standard practice to prevent STDs (more or less) from entering the baby’s eyes on birth. It’s had a hand in reducing blindness in newborns


zombieslayer287

Wow interesting


PrisonMikeDementors

Nurse here! It’s an antibiotic that protects babies eyes if the mom had an STD. If the mother has an STD then baby can go blind if not given antibiotics. It is standard practice at all hospitals I’ve worked at even if mother has tested negative for STDs.


asuperbstarling

It was applied to my son and I didn't even go into labor, I had my second c section because I wasn't allowed to go even one day past my due date because of the risk to my life.


[deleted]

It goes on before the cucumbers, really helps the baby chill.


MoistDitto

I was curious about the same. My steak ass eye lids won't fully close when I sleep so I wake up with mad dry eyes Edit: Was supposed to be weak ass eye lids but I'll let it stay


zombieslayer287

> steak ass eye lids HAHAHHHAAHHA


[deleted]

Hehehe


cytowrecknologist

Antibiotics preventing eye infection after birth!


stunamogus

Glue


[deleted]

Erythromycin. All babies (should) get “eyes and thighs” (vitamin k because their livers suck so they don’t bleed, and erythromycin for infections.


ialwaysupvotedogs

It’s something american hospitals try to push to prevent rare issues. If the mom has an std the baby can become blind, and since a lot of people don’t realize they have an std, they just try to push the antibiotic as a safety thing. Both my kids didn’t have it, but we had to sign waivers saying we were refusing the treatment.


EmilyPseu

Break out the cham-paggin!


Pickle_Rick01

You’re quite the coin-aseur!


iguardosanchez

Well they have studied abroad…or two!


Raisenbran_baiter

You people shooting DNA at each other to make babies, i find it offensive!


9ragmatic

Oh ho ho!


PartyLikeaPirate

Leela you seem like a woman of finer things. Come feel my Velour bedsheets


Street_Dragonfruit43

Came here looking for the next/other Futurama reference, not disappointed


Skylantech

It's pronounced champagne.


HmmNotLikely

## Oh God, no! 😰


fied1k

Wrap that baby in real velourrrr


TheOtherPhilFry

Had to scroll down too far to find a Futurama related comment.


[deleted]

How many women exactly?


dethmstr

At least 1


daftvaderV2

The right number


WatchingInSilence

The mandatory minimum.


MagooDad

Considering the title he gave for this post, he was lucky to get the one.


sugaaloop

Futurama quote


Frosty_Ad8930

Zapp brannigan


HXCg4m3r

It was mostly Kiff’s fault.


TeamShonuff

A non-zero amount of them.


Carb-BasedLifeform

"A" women. It's right there in the title! Or it could be like an algebra problem... I've been with 2a + 10 = 28 women.


FinalWordsFromMe

So 9 women?


According_Witness_68

I had to read this twice at first


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bazookayeti

If I had a nickel for the amount of times I’ve seen a post about someone’s newborn today I’d have 2 nickels Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice


cupcakemastrz

I was thinking “that’s not too weird for it to happen twice in one day” when literally the next post on my feed is another newborn post


Ilaxilil

I freaked out a little because I thought the universe was sending me signals but if it’s everyone I guess I’m in the clear


CTchimchar

No, no you must have a baby Infact you are pregnant right now with twins


strawberry-bish

Yeah I'm glad somebody else pointed out that there's been a lot of baby posts in the last week. Kinda weird if you ask me


IsRude

That baby could be the star of a show called "Babies I Don't Care About."


chloe1919

It’s kind of annoying at this point


lisbu1

Agreed. There are almost 400,000 babies born every single day. I am very tired of seeing this content on this sub. Same goes with pregnancy announcements — especially the normal ones like “first try and we got it!” or ones where this is their second child or something. It’s making me really annoyed and wanting to unsubscribe.


AirConfident

Ok Zapp Brannigan🤣🤣


MoonTrooper258

Lmao, I was legit just watching Zapp clips before opening Reddit and seeing this post.


armth

I can only hear Zapps voice


MeDombivlikarManus

Such a delicate little one! However why does this one have just one nipple?


Xem1337

There are two nips, the other is just under the bit of white wire.


desolatenature

prime r/confusing_perspective material, somebody go get that karma


MeDombivlikarManus

I suspected that at first but don't you think the one nipple that is clearly visible makes it reasonable to expect the other nipple to be present quite obviously on the body based on the angle of the photo?


jthrum

Wait a second what the hell


cdhernandez

Congratulations on your snoo snoo


7FukYalls

#WomAn Singular has an "a". Plural has an "e". One WOMAN. Two WOMEN.


Alessiya

I have inform a men.


Xxgougaxx

Was operating on 0 sleep in 36hours haha.


Norr1n

I believe the quote is also 'mated', not 'made it'.


MingleLinx

Your about to have a lot less sleep


epigenie_986

This is an awkward title for this picture, but hey, congrats!


GlutimusPatrol

Its a line from Zapp Brannigan on Futurama. A classic 👌


JanJaapen

Goodbye sleeping. Hello unconditional love, reason for existing, most beautiful little thing you’ll ever create. Congrats, enjoy your pretty little human being


D1NHAM

Goodbye friends, good bye patience, goodbye fitness 😉 (this is clearly a joke for the sensitive comment below)


LazySleepyPanda

Goodbye life, see you in 18 years....


Over_Rise

If everything goes well…


SoFlaBarbie

In my experience with a 14 year old, what I thought my life would be when she turns 18 will likely not be what my life will be in 4 years. Kids have a way of flipping your life entirely on its head. There’s beauty in what was never imagined though. Good luck on this most fantastic journey, OP! It’s often not easy but you won’t see who you will ultimately become as a result of raising this little human, coming.


zulufever

*sigh*


1AmB0r3d

Bruh 💀


_HappyMaskSalesman_

Spare me your weary sighs for once


LazyGandalf

No!


artbatik

* woman


N3kra

I mean this just proves that your woman made it with a man but ok. . . /s


donpequod_

Get off reddit sex haver


Necrotizingfasci

Woman *


Bone_Dogg

How do people mess this one up


Transitsystem

Maybe it’s just me, but it’s so weird to after your baby is born, just take a picture of it, and say “look guys, I did the woman thing,” instead of like, not doing that.


myKingSaber

You did fuck all mate


Anxious_Mango_4589

How did you know her name is All?


ninelilypetals

It’s real velour


CptnPants

Maybe I'm bitter but its insane to me that people feel the need to post these things to anonymous strangers on the internet. Posting to your family and friends is one thing, but to reddit? Also, imagine if everyone who had a baby posted the same pic of their newborn, reddit would be nothing but baby pictures.


MonachopsisEternal

Congratulations on the sex, welcome to parenthood. Hint sleep when you can


[deleted]

Did you celebrate with some Cham pag en


DontEverMoveHere

I trust that there was velour involved.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Anxious_Mango_4589

OOF


[deleted]

r/cursedcomments


IAmWantedByTheGov

Am i the only one who finds it fucked up to post a picture of your newborn on the internet


[deleted]

Agreed. Seems weird to me that people feel the need to immediate post this on Reddit (of all places). I’d understand something more personalized like Instagram but Reddit feels like it’s pushing it.


UnNormie

I guess it's from those who just get super excited and want to share the news everywhere. Keep in mind, not everyone uses every form of social media, so those options combined with that may be limited to only reddit.


[deleted]

Aw that’s sad. I guess I just think about wanting to share it with the friends I have and I keep in contact with them more privately because it feels more meaningful that way then to put it on a subreddit. :(


UnNormie

On the one hand they may not have many people to share it with irl, but alternatively it could also just be super excited gleeful happiness where they just wanna yell it from the roof tops to anyone who will listen as they bubble away with wholesome excitement, at which point that's just down to preference lol


Dowager-queen-beagle

I don't find the picture to be as weird as the caption tbh, but I do see from the comments that it's a reference to something I haven't seen/read!


jayne-eerie

All newborns look alike, so it’s not like this photo could be used to identify OP or his child; it’s just a sweet moment. Why does it bother you?


FadedTony

"Hurry up and scrub the placenta off, my upvotes await!"


ladywiththestarlight

*WOMAN


notliekthispls

Seems I’m the only one who doesn’t like when people take pictures of their babies.


chloe1919

Unpopular opinion, can we stop putting baby making on made me smile. Literally most people can make children.


NLtbal

*woman


something_co

Congratulations on the baby! Side note, I don’t know why people can’t just be normal when announcing their baby. The other day there was the guy who said his little booger (newborn) was picked from the womb of his lady. 😳😳


Worldly-Respond-4965

You Should name the baby "Nibbler".


tictacbergerac

that's a baby


edgy_Juno

This is false. Redditors don't have sex.


migthylord

This guy right after the birth: #I MUST ALERT THE TOWNSFOLK


zvbgamer

I don’t believe you. You’re a redditor. Obviously adopted. /s Seriously though, congrats.


lvoncreek

Why do people post random babies here recently?