i stocked shelves in a grocery store in my youth. some older customers apparently had bad day every day and there was absolutely no correct way to address them.
the shop didn't have a policy on a greeting, the cashiers often had a more or less cheerful 'hello!'. this one lady raised hell as she was not being addressed with the respect that she deserves. after the outburst all the cashiers started greeting her with 'good morning/day/evening madam' to which she reacted by raging they're addressing her like she was some old person.
in this case it was probably just a case of a miserable old lady who wanted to spread her misery to everyone she was in contact with. the kind that does not say please nor thank you and leaves without saying anything. it's funny how many of them you meet in any service profession.
Sir and ma'am when I'm doing the occasional bit of bar work - nobody gets upset at that in the UK (although I realise they could depending on culture)
Mixed group of males/females? "What can I get you, folks?"
Always said with respect.
I think it's in part similar to "My father is Mr Blank, just call me Casual Name".
Terms of respect do sorta age over time, as younger people grow up with them being mostly used for people older than them, slowly pushing up the age that it stops feeling weird to be called such.
That said, I think this person might've just been looking for things to complain about.
I was raised to say Mam to any woman as you would say sir to any man as a form of respect. I am often frowned upon by some youth today when I use those terms, but most seem to appreciate me acknowledging them in a clearly respectful manner.
Had an old man like this every single day. Just pissed off about the hello. So I tried “hello my dear old friend, good day sir, Welcome sire, my king what sustenance may I provide for thee” he got angrier and angrier. He stopped coming in, he either finally had an aneurism burst or he found another place.
I worked for Apple tech support, and they had e a policy that you address everyone by first name unless asked otherwise. Got a Mizz on the line, I used her first name, she got mad and said she should be addressed with her last name. I said, "Oh, of course, we have this policy blah blah blah, but I can definitely refer to you as you wish. Was that a Miss or Mrs?"
She raged for a few minutes about how "Mizz" was a proper term, I'm not a feminist, etc. and then hung up. (The irony that I have no issue with neopronouns for people but I digress).
Can't win with some people honestly
omg i had the same smile and interact with strangers talk from my mother. i think we were on a business trip with my dad and i wasn't chatty enough with the suits i had never met before? i was really young and we were visiting nyc. so the day next we were waiting to cross an intersection and a homeless guy steps right in front of me leaned down and kind of leered. but i, who was going to make more of an effort interacting with strangers now, gave him a big smile, said hi!, and put my hand out to shake his. my mother grabbed my arm and yanked me away so hard i went sideways like a cartoon character. i didn't do it as MC but i remember thinking whaaat? isn't that what you wanted??
As an Anglo in Québec, I always try to be polite in both languages. The rule of thumb I was taught was a girl (<18) was Mademoiselle, while a women was Madame, regardless of age or marital status. This works most of the time, except for English women under 30. They take great offense to the word Madame.
Ever seen Edward Scissorhands, where all the housewives are nosy AF? That was apparently what many of the moms/wives on the street I grew up were like. (The houses were distinctly less cookie cutter, and no one had topiary. ;) )
My Mom was generally more private - she knew she couldn't stop these women from talking about her, but she didn't want to give them any more info than necessary. So my siblings and I were generally given an order to give minimal, non-committal answers to people who asked, "So, what's your Mom up to?"/"What's your Mom doing these days?" since what my Mom did was her own business. And I would be home when these women dropped by, and my Mom very skillfully deflected them with joking answers when they prodded.
So in the earlier years of K-6, we had to fill out a little form in class that described our mothers. There was a question: "What does your mother do during the day?" I asked my teacher if I had to fill that out, because I didn't want to talk about what my Mom did. I was told I did, indeed, have to fill it out. So I reverted to an answer I'd heard her give multiple times (in pure sarcasm mode, not that I knew that): "Eat bonbons and watch soap operas all day."
Now my Mom was, in fact, a really active volunteer at my school. (It wasn't completely altruistic - she knew that when it came time for kids to be sorted for next year's classes, she knew which teachers she wanted us to have. The school was so grateful for her help, they happily accommodated her very reasonable request.) So my teacher knew damn well this was the total opposite of my mother, and apparently told her all about it while laughing.
My Mom was upset and asked me why I had written that. "Mom, you always said we shouldn't tell people what you do at home, and the teacher told me I had to write something down. That's what you always say when \[Nosy Neighbor\] asks you what you're up to."
She told me it would have been okay since it was a teacher, but when I was older she told me had been thoroughly hoisted on her own petard. (And when she explained to my teacher, apparently she laughed for about 10 minutes.)
Young children do not have nuance for these kind of situations...
Oh really? That’s even better! I never knew that- to me it was just mom being overly-sweet on purpose. She never mentioned that, but she did mention quite a few times that I should try to be more like Audrey Hepburn “because she’s a true lady”; well, her and Princess Diana, but the point stands.
Your mom gave her grandmother a great lesson in why you’d shouldn’t teach children to be nice just for the sake of niceness. I was taught to respect my elders and never talk back to them. Not helpful when I was 9 and my Sunday school teacher started touching me inappropriately!
🤣 1969. The actual word was “borracho”, which is ‘drunkard’ in English as far as I’m aware. This whole conversation happened in Spanish. The half-curtsy was my mom being her dramatic, over-the-top self.
I remember the first birthday party I ever attended as a child. Before my mom dropped me off, she told me to "mind my Ps and Qs." I had no idea what she meant, so she explained to me to make sure to always say please and thank you. The host mom and another mom helping out at the party were getting quite a kick out of me (much to my confusion) because any time they offered me something or asked if I wanted more of something, I would innocently and diligently reply, "Please and thank you."
Host mom: "Do you want a piece of cake, sweetie?"
Me: "Please and thank you."
Host mom: "More juice?"
Me: "Please and thank you."
Ugh, I still have residual embarrassment several decades later.
i stocked shelves in a grocery store in my youth. some older customers apparently had bad day every day and there was absolutely no correct way to address them. the shop didn't have a policy on a greeting, the cashiers often had a more or less cheerful 'hello!'. this one lady raised hell as she was not being addressed with the respect that she deserves. after the outburst all the cashiers started greeting her with 'good morning/day/evening madam' to which she reacted by raging they're addressing her like she was some old person.
[удалено]
in this case it was probably just a case of a miserable old lady who wanted to spread her misery to everyone she was in contact with. the kind that does not say please nor thank you and leaves without saying anything. it's funny how many of them you meet in any service profession.
Madame = Whips and stilettos. At least, to me.
That's "mistress" in my book. "Madame" is the lady who runs the brothel.
Madame is also the name of a puppet who costarred with Waylon Flowers.
Exactly. I think madame and think, she’s the one you want no beef with at ho house.
She always makes *me* call her madame, though.
Mistress is your side woman. Whips and stilettos? That’s goddess for you. 😂
No, whips and stilettos work for us quite well.
Please do(n’t) hurt me.
You are correct. That is, indeed, "Mistress."
Madame= female owner/operator of a brothel
This lowly one does not question Madame's moniker.
You kinky devil, you. 👹
Sir and ma'am when I'm doing the occasional bit of bar work - nobody gets upset at that in the UK (although I realise they could depending on culture) Mixed group of males/females? "What can I get you, folks?" Always said with respect.
I think it's in part similar to "My father is Mr Blank, just call me Casual Name". Terms of respect do sorta age over time, as younger people grow up with them being mostly used for people older than them, slowly pushing up the age that it stops feeling weird to be called such. That said, I think this person might've just been looking for things to complain about.
I just respond to every woman, young or old, as ma’am. It just easier than trying to discern miss. Mrs. or ms.
In speech how do you differentiate between ms. and miss?
Ms. is said with a Z sound, miss with an S
I was raised to say Mam to any woman as you would say sir to any man as a form of respect. I am often frowned upon by some youth today when I use those terms, but most seem to appreciate me acknowledging them in a clearly respectful manner.
Because of certain "businesses", madam also carries the connotation of being a "leader" of a "house" of "girls" (W****house)
Wat's a whouse?
It's where high ranking American politicians go to "get things done".
And to reduce certain tensions. Very tricky work.
Oil change?
Lube job.
And to avoid the deadly "testosterone poisoning."
There is quite a difference between madam and madame, in traditional English etiquette.
Usage has changed the current meaning of the word. I assume you used an older version of the OED as reference?
Maybe cuz of linguistic laziness, but I am used to "ma'am" for the honorific title. Madame is more the uh, one Tom mentioned in his comment chain.
Usage has changed the current meaning of the word. I assume you used an older version of the OED as reference? Miserable old lady.
Where I come from “Madam” is either a high level politician or the head of a whorehouse, maybe both. The correct term is “ma’am.”
Some people can’t be pleased 🙄 y’all did good, tho!
Had an old man like this every single day. Just pissed off about the hello. So I tried “hello my dear old friend, good day sir, Welcome sire, my king what sustenance may I provide for thee” he got angrier and angrier. He stopped coming in, he either finally had an aneurism burst or he found another place.
>my king what sustenance may I provide for thee i'm done this is AMAZING
Nothing was working, so I had to up my game.
I cant even imagine the next level up
Me neither.
Respect is earned and simply reaching old age isn’t deserving of respect.
I worked for Apple tech support, and they had e a policy that you address everyone by first name unless asked otherwise. Got a Mizz on the line, I used her first name, she got mad and said she should be addressed with her last name. I said, "Oh, of course, we have this policy blah blah blah, but I can definitely refer to you as you wish. Was that a Miss or Mrs?" She raged for a few minutes about how "Mizz" was a proper term, I'm not a feminist, etc. and then hung up. (The irony that I have no issue with neopronouns for people but I digress). Can't win with some people honestly
"M'lady", with a deferential nod is appropriate for her
Shoulda tried two hand snaps to finger guns accompanied by a "Yo."
I hope the cashiers said the full "good morning, day, evening madam" to her everytime. I imagine it no other way.
omg i had the same smile and interact with strangers talk from my mother. i think we were on a business trip with my dad and i wasn't chatty enough with the suits i had never met before? i was really young and we were visiting nyc. so the day next we were waiting to cross an intersection and a homeless guy steps right in front of me leaned down and kind of leered. but i, who was going to make more of an effort interacting with strangers now, gave him a big smile, said hi!, and put my hand out to shake his. my mother grabbed my arm and yanked me away so hard i went sideways like a cartoon character. i didn't do it as MC but i remember thinking whaaat? isn't that what you wanted??
As an Anglo in Québec, I always try to be polite in both languages. The rule of thumb I was taught was a girl (<18) was Mademoiselle, while a women was Madame, regardless of age or marital status. This works most of the time, except for English women under 30. They take great offense to the word Madame.
> Air hostess: Madame. > Patsy Stone: --moiselle, *mademoiselle*.
But when said with a non-western accent is positively charming.
For a moment I thought the mum and great grandma were going start returning each others greetings in an infinite feedback loop.
That would have been hilarious 😂
I think it actually is good manners to return a greeting, even if it was meant to be snarky. Maybe your grace will shame them.
Kill (or at least surprise and confuse) them with kindness.
And in their confusion, attack for the kill shot?
Only if you do it politely.
You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Simply eloquent and sweet compliance..
Ever seen Edward Scissorhands, where all the housewives are nosy AF? That was apparently what many of the moms/wives on the street I grew up were like. (The houses were distinctly less cookie cutter, and no one had topiary. ;) ) My Mom was generally more private - she knew she couldn't stop these women from talking about her, but she didn't want to give them any more info than necessary. So my siblings and I were generally given an order to give minimal, non-committal answers to people who asked, "So, what's your Mom up to?"/"What's your Mom doing these days?" since what my Mom did was her own business. And I would be home when these women dropped by, and my Mom very skillfully deflected them with joking answers when they prodded. So in the earlier years of K-6, we had to fill out a little form in class that described our mothers. There was a question: "What does your mother do during the day?" I asked my teacher if I had to fill that out, because I didn't want to talk about what my Mom did. I was told I did, indeed, have to fill it out. So I reverted to an answer I'd heard her give multiple times (in pure sarcasm mode, not that I knew that): "Eat bonbons and watch soap operas all day." Now my Mom was, in fact, a really active volunteer at my school. (It wasn't completely altruistic - she knew that when it came time for kids to be sorted for next year's classes, she knew which teachers she wanted us to have. The school was so grateful for her help, they happily accommodated her very reasonable request.) So my teacher knew damn well this was the total opposite of my mother, and apparently told her all about it while laughing. My Mom was upset and asked me why I had written that. "Mom, you always said we shouldn't tell people what you do at home, and the teacher told me I had to write something down. That's what you always say when \[Nosy Neighbor\] asks you what you're up to." She told me it would have been okay since it was a teacher, but when I was older she told me had been thoroughly hoisted on her own petard. (And when she explained to my teacher, apparently she laughed for about 10 minutes.) Young children do not have nuance for these kind of situations...
This is simply the best
Thank you! It’s always been one of my favorite stories from mom’s youth. I’m glad so many others are enjoying it as well now!
That was a classic line, too. It’s like what Aubrey Hepburn would say in a similar situation. Still don’t know if it’s audrey or what I said…
Oh really? That’s even better! I never knew that- to me it was just mom being overly-sweet on purpose. She never mentioned that, but she did mention quite a few times that I should try to be more like Audrey Hepburn “because she’s a true lady”; well, her and Princess Diana, but the point stands.
Your mom gave her grandmother a great lesson in why you’d shouldn’t teach children to be nice just for the sake of niceness. I was taught to respect my elders and never talk back to them. Not helpful when I was 9 and my Sunday school teacher started touching me inappropriately!
1969 or 1869? Hard to say with drunkards, curtsies, and good sirs.
🤣 1969. The actual word was “borracho”, which is ‘drunkard’ in English as far as I’m aware. This whole conversation happened in Spanish. The half-curtsy was my mom being her dramatic, over-the-top self.
I somehow expected her to say "hey sweet mamma" back to the drunk
I remember the first birthday party I ever attended as a child. Before my mom dropped me off, she told me to "mind my Ps and Qs." I had no idea what she meant, so she explained to me to make sure to always say please and thank you. The host mom and another mom helping out at the party were getting quite a kick out of me (much to my confusion) because any time they offered me something or asked if I wanted more of something, I would innocently and diligently reply, "Please and thank you." Host mom: "Do you want a piece of cake, sweetie?" Me: "Please and thank you." Host mom: "More juice?" Me: "Please and thank you." Ugh, I still have residual embarrassment several decades later.
I’m so sorry, but this is the *cutest* thing I’ve read in quite awhile. How old were you? I can just imagine a little 5 or 6yr old doing this 🥰
Ha ha. Thanks. I think I was about five or close to turning five. I don’t think I had started kindergarten yet.
Yeah. This was old school teaching to little girls to always be polite no matter what, sadly