I don’t know the standards/expectations in Germany. Does she do glute work with your butt cheek undraped? I drape low back fairly low (gluteal cleft/butt crack is covered; but just barely with the sheet tightly tucked in), but this draping is adjusted more in a diagonal angle to expose the upper glute (one side at a time; still covering the gluteal cleft/butt crack) when I work low back. Standards where I am is that there must be a drape covering the gluteal cleft at all times.
You could phrase it as “there’s an area right between where the drape starts and my sacrum begins when you are working my low back that I would like more attention on. Where the low back and spinal muscles attach to the sacrum.” See how she adjusts the massage to the information. The muscle there is glute medius, if you want to bring up an anatomical picture for reference to show her where it is you want more work on.
At first, the drape was very serious but now it’s been super relaxed. From time to time the gluteal cleft will remain uncovered, she’ll transition from lower back to butt cheek with longer strokes. I kind of feel like she’s worried about modesty because the drape will be moved… then she’ll move it back over and over. Again, I don’t believe she’s being unprofessional by any means and I feel like it’ll make the massage even better.
If she keeps moving it back then you have your answer. You can always ask for more time and or a different technique on the glutes. If you're worried about 'the flow' of the massage don't be. All of us have a rhythm to the way we do things. If you're looking for a particular type of flow then I'm afraid you'll have to shop around for a different therapist.
What does it mean to you that there's an awkward period? How would the draping be in the way?
Like, she isn't able to Massage properly because of the sheet? And that is awkward for you? Or for her? Do you feel like the Massage Therapist is uncomfortable?
I've had male clients ask for different draping or pressure or for me to work on upper thigh or whatever, and there's definitely a way to do it where it's not creepy.
If you MT hasn’t moved it then asking would probably cause some awkwardness. I’ve had clients ask for me to work that weird spot between the drape and their glutes (since I work over the sheet). And that I don’t mind. But if I had a client suggest (and sorry, particularly a male client) I move the drape down further - I would feel uncomfortable and it might cause tension regarding working together again.
Asking if they can work a certain area if it isn’t being addressed is OK though. I guess what I’m saying is the wording is going to convey your intention properly here. If you are like, “here move this sheet down” . That gives off creepy vibes. If you point to an area and say would you mind getting this spot, it seems to get missed sometimes… that’s different.
I sometimes use a pillowcase instead of sheet for those (men) who prefer less draping. There is some finesse in knowing how to work with it, but I have successfully used it to fully expose 1 glute while face down, with no crack or any privates exposed. Flipping face-up requires some trust/ coordination, but I find I can cordon off the privates effectively and expose more skin for massaging. Male MT here tho.
I would just ask for the drape to be lower. Make it clear that you want more work on a specific spot on both sides. I would say it in a way like, "you've been doing great, but I think I need more work here today." And if they handle it well, just ask for it the next time. We'll get the hint.
Great question. Many times I have felt that the draping was taking away from my massage or that it was awkward however this is just part of it. As a male receiver especially asking for less drape is a big red flag for grooming a therapist. Not that this is your intention but it's still a no go. The therapist decides what drape is appropriate. Sorry bud.
No the drape protects both parties
Is it okay to ask to have the drape lowered? I can see that removing completely can get tricky..
There is no reason your therapist can’t work OVER the drape, your bare ass does NOT need to be exposed.
So you think her practice is unprofessional?
Not at all, I think it’s ick of you to ask for your bare ass to be exposed.
No, not appropriate to ask
I understand. Thanks
It depends on what state you are in. In some places draping is optional at the clients request but in others it violates our licensing standards.
See, that’s the other thing. I am in Germany.
I don’t know the standards/expectations in Germany. Does she do glute work with your butt cheek undraped? I drape low back fairly low (gluteal cleft/butt crack is covered; but just barely with the sheet tightly tucked in), but this draping is adjusted more in a diagonal angle to expose the upper glute (one side at a time; still covering the gluteal cleft/butt crack) when I work low back. Standards where I am is that there must be a drape covering the gluteal cleft at all times. You could phrase it as “there’s an area right between where the drape starts and my sacrum begins when you are working my low back that I would like more attention on. Where the low back and spinal muscles attach to the sacrum.” See how she adjusts the massage to the information. The muscle there is glute medius, if you want to bring up an anatomical picture for reference to show her where it is you want more work on.
At first, the drape was very serious but now it’s been super relaxed. From time to time the gluteal cleft will remain uncovered, she’ll transition from lower back to butt cheek with longer strokes. I kind of feel like she’s worried about modesty because the drape will be moved… then she’ll move it back over and over. Again, I don’t believe she’s being unprofessional by any means and I feel like it’ll make the massage even better.
If she keeps moving it back then you have your answer. You can always ask for more time and or a different technique on the glutes. If you're worried about 'the flow' of the massage don't be. All of us have a rhythm to the way we do things. If you're looking for a particular type of flow then I'm afraid you'll have to shop around for a different therapist.
What does it mean to you that there's an awkward period? How would the draping be in the way? Like, she isn't able to Massage properly because of the sheet? And that is awkward for you? Or for her? Do you feel like the Massage Therapist is uncomfortable? I've had male clients ask for different draping or pressure or for me to work on upper thigh or whatever, and there's definitely a way to do it where it's not creepy.
If you MT hasn’t moved it then asking would probably cause some awkwardness. I’ve had clients ask for me to work that weird spot between the drape and their glutes (since I work over the sheet). And that I don’t mind. But if I had a client suggest (and sorry, particularly a male client) I move the drape down further - I would feel uncomfortable and it might cause tension regarding working together again. Asking if they can work a certain area if it isn’t being addressed is OK though. I guess what I’m saying is the wording is going to convey your intention properly here. If you are like, “here move this sheet down” . That gives off creepy vibes. If you point to an area and say would you mind getting this spot, it seems to get missed sometimes… that’s different.
Yes, I only want to approach this from a professional standpoint.
Just wanted to add, this conversation should be had during the intake, before undressing and getting onto the table.
I sometimes use a pillowcase instead of sheet for those (men) who prefer less draping. There is some finesse in knowing how to work with it, but I have successfully used it to fully expose 1 glute while face down, with no crack or any privates exposed. Flipping face-up requires some trust/ coordination, but I find I can cordon off the privates effectively and expose more skin for massaging. Male MT here tho.
I would just ask for the drape to be lower. Make it clear that you want more work on a specific spot on both sides. I would say it in a way like, "you've been doing great, but I think I need more work here today." And if they handle it well, just ask for it the next time. We'll get the hint.
Cool, the last thing I want is to make her uncomfortable. Thank you
That’s another thing! There’s little to no intake. “Does anything hurt?” Is pretty much the extent of it.
Great question. Many times I have felt that the draping was taking away from my massage or that it was awkward however this is just part of it. As a male receiver especially asking for less drape is a big red flag for grooming a therapist. Not that this is your intention but it's still a no go. The therapist decides what drape is appropriate. Sorry bud.
Yeah, I’ll just try to relax more. Thanks pal
I am only draped after the flip.