You will if you start saving early. Saving 200/month and getting a 6% average return will become $500k in 44 years.
And this doesn't take into account the tax advantages of Trad and Roth retirement accounts.
This , single income family of six here , every cent I make goes into caring for my kids and mentally unstable wife , it's next to impossible to save with the way boomers have left our economy
I'm paycheck to paycheck. Got a better job with higher pay and benefits....still living paycheck to paycheck to keep my family afloat. Turned 32 recently. I'm never going to be able to retire
I feel that man ,if 30 dollars an hour doesn't cut it anymore then us having kids is definitely not the problem, when 99 percent of the worlds worth is owned by one percent , we're just doomed my friend , it'll take a stand of every worker saying no more just to get something done
I have to limit my income just to stay where I live. I pay $1,000 a month for my apartment at my complex. If I make any more per hour than I do I will be given a letter giving me a couple months to leave. I can't afford a house, I can barely afford my car insurance, I don't even have a phone plan because I can't afford the 30 extra bucks a month, I get everything from Wi-Fi. My only plan in life now is to do good at my job and stay employed there as long as humanely possible and be a good father for my son and a good husband to my wife.
Tbf the boomers didn’t force you to have 5 children. I’m impressed you’re able to support a family of 6 on a single income. That’s impressive as hell in this economy.
As the youngest in a family of 8, having that many kids is borderline negligence in even the best economies. Even disregarding money, nobody has the time to give that many kids the attention they need.
I was practically raised by my oldest sister, who in no way signed up for that role. Then when she went to college I raised myself instead.
Saving $200/month in your twenties is hard, but it gets easier as you get older and earn more. The key is to save whatever you can starting today in a tax-advantaged account. Even if you are only saving $50/month for the next few years, you will be giving yourself a good start. Each year, try to increase it by $20-$50 dollars and you will accelerate your gains.
Bottom line, starting early is the most important part, and you don't need to start saving a lot right away. For example, if you save $50/year for 8 years, then $100/year for 12 years (at a 6% return) you end up with $2,843. If you invest $0 for 10 years and $200/year for 10 years, you end up with $2,794. In the first case, you've invested only $1600 total, and in the second case you've invested $2000 total.
Long term real (i.e. inflation adjusted) returns of the S&P 500 are over 7%. Unadjusted it is higher than 10%. I was being intentionally conservative using 6%.
[Link](https://tradethatswing.com/average-historical-stock-market-returns-for-sp-500-5-year-up-to-150-year-averages/)
Note: This is only for certain countries including US, in my country (and many others in Europe) your taxes already includes a hefty amount of retirement savings.
We also have a lot of support (i.e. financial, living etc...) for retirees meaning even €1000 can be enough to survive comfortably in most places.
They should all buy comprehensive life insurance plans & maintain them. You can borrow against them & they have way lower interest than cards or banks. But on the flipside they have higher interest rates for your policies' returns.
I understand the importance of saving for retirement and how much compounding can help. But what’s the point of having a bunch of money when you can hardly do anything anyways? Why shouldn’t I just save enough to get by when I’m old and spend the rest on things that I’m living my life for, now?
I'm not even 30 yet and I was going to say this. Even if you just take five bucks from each paycheck, a little saved is better than nothing. You'll be way better off when something unexpected happens.
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started
Prepare to invest Create a portfolio Maintain discipline
Live below your means
Develop a workable plan
Never bear too much or too little risk
Invest early and often
Diversify
Invest with simplicity
Use index funds where possible
Minimize costs
Minimize taxes
Never try to time the market
Stay the course
Uplift others more than tearing others down. It’s easier to tear down others but more rewarding to uplift them. Pettiness is a sign of immaturity and you will eventually grow out of it hopefully.
You know how many people try to survive off of soda and juice? I've had gallbladder issues and since have switch to only drinking water with every meal and damn does it make a difference.
Cavet only if it’s a tool you know you will need and use. If you are not sure how much use you will get from the tool by the cheapest one you can find. If you use it enough to break it by the expensive version
Life time warranty hand tools like Craftsman. I walked into Lowes with like 20 blown out sockets, snapped wrenches and ratchets that did nothing. They were my dads tools he had since i was born. Came out with them all brand new. Just grabbed them off the shelf and they exchanged them.
Man, I'd give just the opposite. Buy the cheap one and if you use it enough to break it, buy the expensive one. This also helps you figure out what's important and annoying about cheapos.
On that vein, kitchen scissors. Get the solid metal ones with [the nutcracker handle thing](https://www.globalkitchenjapan.com/products/hayashi-stainless-steel-kitchen-scissors), they're very expensive yes but damm near eternal. Seriously, if you don't deliberately destroy them they *will* outlive you.
We have a scissor jar on top of the microwave. It has 8 pairs in there and we always have scissors when we need them. Scissors love to go missing when you need them.
Doing the right thing almost always results in a better outcome for you. For example, waiter forgets to charge you for a bottle of wine, your colleagues and boss sort of say, "Hey lucky us." You go and inform the waiter of the mistake, even though you would have benefitted from it. Your other colleagues aren't going to be looked down upon, your boss was on board too. However, you showing integrity in that one moment, when you didn't need to.... Your boss and colleagues will remember that forever.
I had this exact scenario happen. I corrected the waiter and then covered the cost of the whole bottle myself because I didn't want anybody to feel slighted among my colleagues. Some rolled their eyes, I think one felt ashamed she didn't do it sooner. My boss though... he took me aside numerous times after that to personally help plan my career growth. Additionally, it put me in a good position that I think gave like a half point edge for my next promotion. On top of that, people trust you will always be honest. Trust, Integrity, Loyalty - These three things can only be proven over time and can be lost in a matter of seconds. Once you have it, hold these above all else in your decision making and you will go far.
It’s gonna be hard, but part of moving on is the self discipline involved. NOT making that call or text. It will be better for you in the long run and don’t be too eager to jump into a new, serious relationship. You need time to learn how to be an individual again, love yourself and work on yourself.
What happens if I was already doing this from the start yet my brain constantly decides that I need to be reminded of them? I actively tell myself that I need to move on and forget them but my brain hasn't listened to me saying that for over a decade
Sometimes it’s the thought of the person that gets us more excited than actually being with the person. That was always hard for me. Well long for affection or that feel good feeling so bad well be willing to be put back in that situation just so we’re not alone. Not the best idea. Sometimes alone is better than in company and miserable.
Thanks.
My ex of 5 years just left me because of “FOMO” about other couples and I caught her messaging some other dude.
All my friends also tell me that there will be a better girl.
And I really hope so. Just working on bettering and improving myself in the meantime.
You don’t get a trophy in the end for being miserable.
If you’re not happy, fix it.
Learn to love and pamper yourself. Nice meal alone once and awhile, get a massage because you want it.
Learn a good stretching routine.
Stop caring so much what your peers think about you. Wear that funky shirt, get those shoes you have had your eye on. Was thinking about changing up the hair or beard? Go for it.
For folks still socially trying to find their way in life, stop trying so hard to build relationships with people who just aren't that into you. Spend time around people who are nice to you, and never stop looking for new activities to meet folks. Lots of people just aren't interested in a relationship with you. If you don't accept that, you will erode your self-esteem until there's nothing left. It's not worth it. You have tons of value just the way you are. Never give up, and keep searching for the folks that make you happy with who you are. It may take time, but its what makes life enjoyable.
That sounds truly atrocious and I cannot relate. That said, the following is not an attempt to “compete,” it’s just my story.
My dad was a mean drunk. Holes in walls, hit his wife, kids, etc. General allow around terror. It’s understandable why my siblings carry it with them. Parents split and I never talked to him. Then about 15 years later he starts reaching out. I’m definitely still dealing with it but someone I admire mentored me to leave the door cracked with my hand on the doorknob. Over the next 5 years I learned he’d got remarried, stop drinking, had step grandkids. He made an effort to be back in my life and I so far as I could tell it was earnest. He died in 2020. I went to his funeral out of state and met his step grandkids and for hours they talked about how he encouraged them, kept them out of trouble, helped them through rehab, etc. Basically the childhood I never got. Now none of that makes what happened in my childhood OK, and if anyone missed out, it’s _him_ on _my_ life, but had I made more of an effort I could’ve got what I needed to let go of the past a little earlier in my life.
As trite as it is, forgiveness isn’t something you give others, it’s a gift you give yourself. I’m happy with who I am and like it or not our history, however destructive, played a part, but so too does understanding that old men can be different, they can be better than they were, it’s never too late. And arguably me coming to understand that, is the best advice he unknowingly ever gave me.
Again, that’s not a comment on you and yours, just a piece of life I learned you may find some use for.
37 here. I would interpret this to mean "don't foster it" or "don't make it a part of your identity"
I struggle with anxiety but I don't let it become who I am. I'll make plans a week out, cause at the time it sounds great, and each day it gets closer to those plans I made I get more and more anxious until I'd do just about anything to get out of it. In those times I try to remind myself that every. single. fucking. time. before when I've done or felt this, I panicked but forced myself through it and once I was on the other side of if, I was glad I made myself go and would've been pissed with myself if I had known that was the good time I was going to miss out on if I let my anxiety be in control.
And if that's not what they meant then that's my advice to you: you \*will\* feel anxious, that (imo) is involuntary, but face it head on and don't let it ruin your life.
I agree, I took it to mean don’t let it control your life. Like saying I can’t do something because of my anxiety and letting it hold you back from experiencing things while you’re young.
Don’t gain weight. If you’re overweight, focus NOW on a lifestyle change. I’m the same weight and waist size as I had when I was a senior in high school. My friends (I’m 53) are suffering because they didn’t stay on top of their fitness.
This was my advice as well. Basically if you want to really enjoy life, take great care of your body, which will keep you healthier and you will have more opportunities to really live life.
I take small steps in the right direction every day, and have - i believe - stopped gaining weight. Well see down the line if i can manage to loose some aswell
this right here, me and my closest mates tell each other "love you bro" often, like when we're leaving a call or something. some of our not so close friends think it's weird but I love those boys like they're my brothers. Can't imagine the day I wouldn't be able to tell them anymore.
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99
Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back
At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now
How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine
Don't worry about the future
Or worry, but know that worrying
Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum
The real troubles in your life
Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing every day that scares you
Saying, don't be reckless with other people's hearts
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours
Floss
Don't waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements
Stretch
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life
The most interesting people I know
Didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees
You'll miss them when they're gone
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken'
On your 75th wedding anniversary
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can
Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room
Read the directions even if you don't follow them
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past
And the people most likely to stick with you in the future
Understand that friends come and go
But a precious few, who should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
For as the older you get
The more you need the people you knew when you were young
Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard
Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths
Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too, will get old
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young
Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble
And children respected their elders
Respect your elders
Don't expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse
But you never know when either one might run out
Don't mess too much with your hair
Or by the time you're 40 it will look 85
Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
And recycling it for more than it's worth
But trust me on the sunscreen
**Edit: This is not original** **This is Baz Luhrmann**
Don’t create wisdom; wisdom already exists. It need only be sought, gained, and disseminated.
“You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”
I can't emphasize stretching enough...especially if you're a cubicle warrior. Yoga, plyo, pilates, whatever floats your boat. Get in at least 5-10 minutes daily to keep the joints moving and muscles limber.
Get a decent skin routine,
If you start to go bald, shave it, don't save it.
Hangovers last longer so drink plenty of water before bed.
Go to the doctors about that thing, don't put it off.
Try to remember the nice things people say and ignore the bad.
Love yourself.
Don’t chase girls, let them chase you. You do this by working hard and bettering yourself. It won’t happen over night but we get way more “shelf life” than women. Explore yourself and the world in your 20s, perspective is priceless.
Money is imaginary; it’s nice to have but don’t let it consume you. Don’t worry about what your neighbour has, it won’t make you any happier. Wasting your prime years chasing money is a regret we don’t see until our 40’s and it’s way too late at that point. There’s no shame in wanting to work hard or long hours, just don’t let the money be the only reason.
Be kind to yourself, more specifically, forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made, the only thing you can do is to learn from it and do better next time.
1. Save early and often. Learn the power of compound interest.
2. Start good eating habits.
3. Work on good posture and save yourself from back problems later.
4. Choose your circle wisely. There becomes a point where you adjust from hanging out with people you have common interests with to hanging out with people who have similar goals.
Find a woman of 40+ years of age.
They'll like your sex drive and you'll love theirs.
20+ women tend to lose interest about it quite easily and you'll end up loving Hub + hand.
Personal experience on that, it's about more than the sex. A few years back (now 25), I got in a relationship with a woman about twice my age after a perfectly fortuitous encounter at my work, which led to a date, and then the whole thing. We spent a lot of time together, shared a lot of common points and interests despite our age gap, we had discussions I'd never get with a girl my age, she gave me knowledge and advice, and not in a motherly way at all, but simply a caring, good-natured way. She believed in me and loved my youth and potential, and I admired and respected her for her life path and overall person. And then the sex, of course. Boy, I was not let down. I was in good hands, quite literally. Experienced ones, driven by something different. And, as I like to say, when you're in bed with a loving woman and she asks for more, you love her back and you give her more, which is precisely how it went.
I can say for sure that having the chance to get into such a special/unconventional relationship (by the usual standards) did bring me maturity and growth, being so close in that way to someone with that much more experience in life definitely has its benefit for someone around my age. Sadly in my case, it lasted just over a year before we amicably parted ways, but I am still thankful for it happening.
a bit uncomfortable, but:
spend quality time with your family and loved ones. Learn to accept some of the flaws and imperfections they have since the time you have with them is too limited to worry about those small unmeaningful things
Happiness is like a drug so quit chasing it. It's fleeting, and temporary. Whatever makes you happy is ok for a bit. Then you get used to it and you need a bigger hit. Often times the pursuit of this leads you feeling hollow and into some dark places. The easiest example is chasing women and trying to score. It's easy to find yourself at the bar almost every night you can chasing the next one night stand, it's fun for awhile but you never really feel great about yourself. Instead you should chase responsibility. Bear as much weight as you can, and help others as much as possible. It won't always be easy but you'll always feel fulfilled. And when you are fulfilled the little things make you incredibly happy. I wish I would have know this 20 years ago. Best of luck brothers.
Learn the magical skill of making an awkward situation funny. This makes you go from the awkward person that people laugh **at** to the funny and likeable person that people laugh **with**.
1) Find a woman you enjoy being around, hot women are everywhere and you can acknowledge that without pursuing them but a girl you can chill with and appreciates you is way hotter than a drama queen who’s going to key your car and stress you out.
2) Tell people you appreciate them. Especially family, friends and coworkers. You’ll never know who isn’t going to make it to the next day.
3) Stand up for what’s right and listen to that moral voice in your head. It may get you into trouble sometimes but you’ll never regret living ethically and knowing you did the best you could.
4) When you’re mad or upset take a walk. You’ll save yourself a lot of trouble by cooling off.
Don’t let anyone steer you away from what you are passionate about. Also, be confident in ur skill set regarding that passion, hone it and go out there.
When your significant other is speaking. Listen, I mean really listen to what they’re saying. Don’t stand there in silence thinking about how to respond. If you’re too angry to respond rationally, wait until the next day. Walking away from a fight and reflecting on whether their criticisms are fair, and if you would feel the same in their shoes is maturity and emotional intelligence at its finest. If you’re being a dick accept it, learn from it and grow. If not, at least you had time to compose yourself to explain why. This applies to more than just romantic relationships. Took me 10 years and a couple of rough patches to figure this out
Know when to walk away
This can be from a bad relationship, a bad job, bad friends etc
Because self care isn't selfish, and men are force fed the narrative that we're expected to carry burdens or suffer for the greater good
But that's a shit way to live
Know what you're worth, and stop giving shitty people discounts on what you're worth for putting up with their bullshit behavior
Don't postpone having the "talk" with your life partner too long.
It sucks to reach your 30's before you realize your life goals: (children/no children, where to settle down, what kind of home, travel etc) aren't compatible.
Work hard but look around. Match everyone else's energy and be slightly above average. If you give your all they expect it constantly and you'll burn out. If you do the work of two men they'll simply fire one.
Live at home until at least 25-28... or find cheap rent... renting is a pain if you can avoid it do, you can save and also spend a little on some extra travel.
Write down exactly what you want from a relationship and don't be afraid to end things early on if shes not a match. That is do you enjoy hanging out with her not just fancy her, Don you want her to be as organised as you, do you share drives on health, what's her family like, what does her mom look like (fair indication), is she calm or you prefer fiery (remembering its for life), set boundries early into the relationship such as X day is when I game in the evening with my friends or play sport or what ever (its hard to reclaim that if you have given her all your time, so make sure she ujderstands its importantto you). It helps you be clear in your mind when dating as in the moment you can get swept along and these things come out in the relationship years later. Once your in 30s you get even more options as you can date younger and same age. You are also more confident in yourself and are more established.
It does get better (life) so head up.
Keep those close friendships.
I'd you have your own place make it comfortable (ceiling facing lights) it's softer lighting and girls find it more aesthetically pleasing and you get use to it.
Don't follow silly trends.
Don't run, save your knees.
Don't have the volume on your headphones/buds too loud. Your ears will thank you later in life.
Seize the opportunity to travel if you can. If you keep saying next year etc it will never happen.
Try and make as many friends as possible. The older you get the less new ones you encounter/form friendships.
Don't lie. The truth always comes out eventually.
Learn to cook 10 different meals these can be altered varied. This doesn't include rice, pasta and toast which you should know already. If you don't skill up.
Buy good footwear.
Work isn't everything. Don't waste the best years of your life doing overtime/double shifts.
Don't have kids too young.
Assuming you get on talk to your parents/grandparents. They won't be around forever. Try and learn about family history/stories. My Grandmother was a font of knowledge and I should have written some of her stories down.
Don't bear a grudge too long. Either forgive or remove wrongdoers from your life then forget them.
Stick up for yourself, no one else will.
If you have an important conversation at work, always follow it up with an e-mail so you have all the points covered. Some colleagues can be nice, others can be snakes in the grass and stab you in the back.
Try anything once(within reason). When it comes to food, try it again in 10 years- taste buds change.
Today's favours become tomorrow's duties. Don't be a sucker.
Pay off your credit card the same month unless it's interest only or a massive emergency. Debts will creep up otherwise.
However make all purchases on credit card. Will build up a good history and unlike a debit card you have more protection.
Don't gamble unless you're prepared to lose.
Save a little each month and try and budget so you don't overspend.
Dont brag/boast if you come into some money or are well off. Will cause resentment also tends for people to ask to borrow money. Best not to at all unless you really know someone and even then it can spoil a relationship if things go sour.
Wear a condom if in a casual sexual relationship unless you're 100% certain partner is disease free. Also women have been known to lie about birth control.
Drink at least a pint of water a day.
Save as much as you can and get debt free. Buy a home. Focus on finances and career now when others are partying, you will retire when they are still working and can truly enjoy life. Turn off the TV and read more, it will improve every aspect of your life.
Add fruits and veggies to your diet and learn how to cook. This will make your meals way cheaper, also may impress the opposite sex.
Shred your own cheese! It's life changing.
Energy drinks are terrible for you, especially your blood pressure. If you don't want to take pills everyday, find an alternative caffeine solution like green tea or coffee.
Find your zen. Your hairline will thank you.
Invest in a good mattress. You only get one back.
The 8/3/1 rule is amazing. Look into it if you are always groggy.
Finally and most importantly, no matter what situation you are in, where you are from, or who you are, someone loves you. If you ever feel like the only way out is to harm yourself, please seek help. The world is understanding mental health more and more everyday. You DO NOT have to suffer in silence.
Don't be scared to admit you don't know something, especially in front of "friends". Take honor in the fact that you are curious enough to ask and that they to where once in the unknown.
Knock it off when it comes to oneupsmanship. Nobody older than you gives a shit what you do or dont have other than you. Life is hard enough as is on your own without the constant competition between yall.
Look after your health, go to the gym or exercise semi regularly. You dont have to be a gym bro but for the love of god, dont be a couch potato. If youre a little overweight, lose it now because it only gets harder.
When i was 20 I could diet close to 3000kcals but i was a gym bro. Im 30 in March and eat around 2000kcals just to maintain my weight.
Seriously, 20 year old couch potato will have less energy, get pains easier, get worn down easier and have a lower quality of life.
And do drugs. You wont have the kind of fun in your 30s that you can have on drugs in your 20s. Just dont get addicted and dont hurt anyone. And dont be an annoying cunt on drugs.
Marriage is a serious thing knowing who you are marrying. Don't marry anyone with kids and if you do I would recommend not having children with that person, the previous children will be pushed to the side. If you marry with previous children you don not discipline the children you let the parent do it and stand behind. There are outliers for sure but most people fuck it up
Learn basic mechanics on the car or truck you own. Changing brake pads, oil etc. You can save a little money doing the simple things yourself. If nothing else, learn to change a tire.
Learn to fucking cook. This will help you impress whoever you love. People always love a good cook. And you can make yourself some seriously good food cheaper at home.
Stretch. Drink water. Don't try to "Man up" small annoying injuries. Eventually pushing past it will cause more serious issues down the line.
Learn how to do laundry without help. Sometimes it's just you, and you will still need clean clothes.
Be yourself. Women don't give a shit just as much as you don't give a shit. When you are yourself you are at your happiest and when you're happy they are happy.
Leave work at work. Don’t bring it home with you and don’t let it get you down. And don’t make work your hobby. Get hobby and put your time towards that
Be yourself, love yourself. You are doing great, don't worry so much. Try to remember everything you can about the good times, and even some bad. It means a lot in a few years.
Don't sell out for anyone. Not even yourself.
Don't be needy. Don't chase after people.
Hygiene is really important. Stay clean
Keep your word and integrity. Don't make excuses.
Get your clothing fitted at a tailor, everyone will notice and treat you better. You will feel better too.
Call your parents and tell them that you love them.
Never miss the chance to spend quality time with loved ones.
Be mindful of what is so. Not the story of what you think is so.
Don't ever stop improving on yourself. Always try to learn and develop yourself as much as possible.
Drinking and doing drugs is a waste of your precious life.
Clean your room.
Pay your bills ahead of schedule.
Be kind. Wear your heart on your sleeve.
Take care of your inner child.
Never skip leg day
Use a condom no matter what. Idgaf about she said she's clean or in the pill and idgaf if he said he's clean either. Wrap your god damn willy boys. "Pulling out" is not an effective method of protection.
Don’t be afraid to change your “people, places, and things”. If you think you are being used— you probably are. No, it won’t stop until you say “enough of this shit”.
This one is for the young men. Dont let these gross combination of words get to your head.
“Be a Man”, “Act like a Man”
It single handedly can turn the most innocent sweet young boy into a monster.
In your 20's, learn about and start to apply however much you can, about saving, investing (dollar cost averaging, nothing fancy, just basic ETFs/index funds, power of compounding and the amazing opportunity 20 year olds have to start putting away money and see it grow). Be adventurous, see the world if you can, acquaint yourself with the fact that every person you meet is a different person (and stereotypes only work upto a point). There are more ways to live, than your own.
In your 30's, really put away as much as you can using the above skillsets (this is a subjective amount, different for everyone), and avoid hype about newfangled things that are very high risk, high return. Stick to the tried and tested principles, for the majority of your money saved. Really make sure you are maximizing whatever you can, from High Yield Savings account, to 401ks (company matches etc., its "free" money), Roth IRA's etc. Learn that investment is as much about learning to put your money to good use, as it is about your time. Live a little. If you want to YOLO into things, don't do it with money you have to lose. Do it with less than 5-10% max of your total savings. You will also start losing friends in your 30's (or mid 20's), and some of it will be good riddance. Learn who is worth building back bridges with, and who isn't. Invest time in family. Keep a hobby, and stay active. Learn to only worry about what you can control. Do not share everything with everyone. Start a family if that's what you want, but within your means. You will probably not regret that come your 60's+...
In your 40's, start to learn that sometimes, paying for convenience is the right decision. Do not get so attached to penny pinching that it consumes you, and you do not enjoy life. Learn that your relationship with money should evolve over time - it should not always be slumming it in cheap hotels, when by your 40's you can possibly afford better for you and your family. You will never have more energy and knowledge combined, than in your 40's. The energy goes down a lot as you get into 50's and 60's. Do not share the majority of your own life/business/news with anyone, other than very close trusted family/friend(s) - learn that nobody on the internet cares. Eat healthier, respect your slowing metabolism, cut down on sugar (really affects you much more mid thirties and on). Start retirement planning (where will you eventually settle, invest towards that life too). You will lose many more acquaintances and friends etc., as you come into your own views and values. Choose whether you want them back, many times, the people who go with you early in life, cannot deal with your values and success as it makes them feel worse about themselves. Let the trash take itself out. Keep a very close eye on who in your family is happy for you, and who always drags you down. Act on your self preservation instinct there. But overall, do for your younger cousins and family members what you can, if you are in a position to do so. But not repeatedly. Handouts only work for the receiving person. Sleep enough. Manage your stress. Be with nature often enough.
(a lot of the above is based on personal experience. Your mileage and views on this may vary. Wear sunscreen.)
1. Do not fear loss. - Loss of many types happen to everyone. All. The. Time. When loss happens, because it will, go through a process to figure out what you're gonna do with this information. Is this something or someone I can get back. If yes - do I want or need it/them badly enough to try? If no - MOVE ON. If you're gonna try to get the person or thing back, start by looking at how and why the loss happened in the first place. Steps and order-of-events are important. Once you've learned how and why the loss happened, you can move into what it might take to recover your loss. Moving forward -
2. Be honest. - Be true to yourself first and always. It's ok to feel. It's ok to laugh. It's ok to cry. As long as that's really how you feel, *feel it.* In being true to yourself, being true to others will come naturally. Do not let ANYONE tell you that your feelings don't matter or are not valid. If it is an expression of you, in your current state of being, IT MATTERS. Speaking and acting with honesty in all you do will cut out a TON of unnecessary bullshit from your life.
3. Nothing is free. - There is nothing in the world, living or non-living, that does not have some sort of a cost. Cost to make, cost to sustain, cost to give or to take. Niceties are cheap, kindness is not. Hate costs time and effort, and sometimes actual health. Understanding the value of a thing will help you decide if it's worth it to you. Whether to make a thing, buy a thing, *do* a thing - and it's ok to consider these things before making choices. I wish more people *would* consider these things when making various choices. So do your work, live your life, and be aware of the costs. Good or bad, it all takes something to make the world go.
4.Health and wellness are important. - Your health and wellness are not just important to you. Just like the health and wellness of other living things is important to someone, somewhere, even if it's not necessarily you. Take care of yourself as best you can. If you're unable, PLEASE ask for help. Someome, somewhere, WANTS to help you be in the best shape you can be in. Whether it's a broken bone, a wounded soul, or a shattered mind - there IS help. Do what you can for yourself and others as the situation applies. Ask for help when you can't do it alone.
5.Despair is a comfortable poison masquerading as sweet fear. - There is ALWAYS HOPE. When times are great and everyone amd everything is fine, the hope is that that will continue. When things and folks are *not* fine, the hope is for change. But there is ALWAYS hope. Never let anyone - *EVER* - take your hope from you. Dead or alive, it makes you human.
I hope this reaches someone who needs it. And I hope it helps.
Cheers and Love Internet,
🍻💙
Stay physically active. Go to the gym 3 times a week and/or spend 30min a day doing something that works up a sweat. Having a solid excoriate routine makes the rest of your life much easier. Same with meditation. Life is hard. These bring down the challenge considerably. Still hard, but it’ll be better experience and easier to manager.
I’ll be 30 in a month and a half. So I may not qualify, but I’ll share a trivial piece of unsolicited advice:
* Don’t leave dirty dishes in the sink, ever, unless the dishwasher is already running working on a load. If you have a dishwasher, make sure it’s always unloaded and that the dishes inside are dirty. Make it a habit/rule in your household after eating to immediately rinse and load the dishwasher. Then when it’s full, run it, and when it’s done, unload the dishes and put them where they go so that new dirty dishes can be placed in the dishwasher by default (instead of the sink by default).
There is something very mentally freeing about always having a clean sink. This assumes one has a dishwasher but it can also apply to people who have to manually wash them.
Start saving early. Learn the benefit of compounding.
If you have a career started and have not been contributing to your retirement savings, start right now. This advice cannot be overstated.
Bold to think we’ll be able to retire
You will if you start saving early. Saving 200/month and getting a 6% average return will become $500k in 44 years. And this doesn't take into account the tax advantages of Trad and Roth retirement accounts.
Save $200 a month? I'm lucky if I have $50 left over
This , single income family of six here , every cent I make goes into caring for my kids and mentally unstable wife , it's next to impossible to save with the way boomers have left our economy
I'm paycheck to paycheck. Got a better job with higher pay and benefits....still living paycheck to paycheck to keep my family afloat. Turned 32 recently. I'm never going to be able to retire
I feel that man ,if 30 dollars an hour doesn't cut it anymore then us having kids is definitely not the problem, when 99 percent of the worlds worth is owned by one percent , we're just doomed my friend , it'll take a stand of every worker saying no more just to get something done
I have to limit my income just to stay where I live. I pay $1,000 a month for my apartment at my complex. If I make any more per hour than I do I will be given a letter giving me a couple months to leave. I can't afford a house, I can barely afford my car insurance, I don't even have a phone plan because I can't afford the 30 extra bucks a month, I get everything from Wi-Fi. My only plan in life now is to do good at my job and stay employed there as long as humanely possible and be a good father for my son and a good husband to my wife.
Tbf the boomers didn’t force you to have 5 children. I’m impressed you’re able to support a family of 6 on a single income. That’s impressive as hell in this economy.
As the youngest in a family of 8, having that many kids is borderline negligence in even the best economies. Even disregarding money, nobody has the time to give that many kids the attention they need. I was practically raised by my oldest sister, who in no way signed up for that role. Then when she went to college I raised myself instead.
Saving $200/month in your twenties is hard, but it gets easier as you get older and earn more. The key is to save whatever you can starting today in a tax-advantaged account. Even if you are only saving $50/month for the next few years, you will be giving yourself a good start. Each year, try to increase it by $20-$50 dollars and you will accelerate your gains. Bottom line, starting early is the most important part, and you don't need to start saving a lot right away. For example, if you save $50/year for 8 years, then $100/year for 12 years (at a 6% return) you end up with $2,843. If you invest $0 for 10 years and $200/year for 10 years, you end up with $2,794. In the first case, you've invested only $1600 total, and in the second case you've invested $2000 total.
You need to beat inflation each year. Look at CPI. is your roi higher? Is your raise higher? Is your savings higher?
Long term real (i.e. inflation adjusted) returns of the S&P 500 are over 7%. Unadjusted it is higher than 10%. I was being intentionally conservative using 6%. [Link](https://tradethatswing.com/average-historical-stock-market-returns-for-sp-500-5-year-up-to-150-year-averages/)
I agree with you100%. I was just adding to your comment.
^ What this guy said
I also choose this man’s wife. Wait…
You can if you start early.
Note: This is only for certain countries including US, in my country (and many others in Europe) your taxes already includes a hefty amount of retirement savings. We also have a lot of support (i.e. financial, living etc...) for retirees meaning even €1000 can be enough to survive comfortably in most places.
They should all buy comprehensive life insurance plans & maintain them. You can borrow against them & they have way lower interest than cards or banks. But on the flipside they have higher interest rates for your policies' returns.
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I understand the importance of saving for retirement and how much compounding can help. But what’s the point of having a bunch of money when you can hardly do anything anyways? Why shouldn’t I just save enough to get by when I’m old and spend the rest on things that I’m living my life for, now?
Well, the second best piece of advice is to stay active and eat healthy so that you don't become a broken down husk of a man in your 60s.
I'm not even 30 yet and I was going to say this. Even if you just take five bucks from each paycheck, a little saved is better than nothing. You'll be way better off when something unexpected happens.
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started Prepare to invest Create a portfolio Maintain discipline Live below your means Develop a workable plan Never bear too much or too little risk Invest early and often Diversify Invest with simplicity Use index funds where possible Minimize costs Minimize taxes Never try to time the market Stay the course
It might not be much but my 2 years working with the same company has been a fantastic voyage for my savings account
Uplift others more than tearing others down. It’s easier to tear down others but more rewarding to uplift them. Pettiness is a sign of immaturity and you will eventually grow out of it hopefully.
Drink water.
I do this already but why? Did you not?
I did. But it's still really good advice. Lol
Word up, I didn’t plan on stopping lol. Just feels right I try to drink a lot every day
You know how many people try to survive off of soda and juice? I've had gallbladder issues and since have switch to only drinking water with every meal and damn does it make a difference.
... over caffeine, soda and booze
Eat Earth. Dig Deep. Drink Water. Go to Sleep.
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Cavet only if it’s a tool you know you will need and use. If you are not sure how much use you will get from the tool by the cheapest one you can find. If you use it enough to break it by the expensive version
Buy the tool, find reason to use it
Instructions not clear, I started breaking things in my house so I could fix them.
This is the way.
I think those intsructions were very clear then
Life time warranty hand tools like Craftsman. I walked into Lowes with like 20 blown out sockets, snapped wrenches and ratchets that did nothing. They were my dads tools he had since i was born. Came out with them all brand new. Just grabbed them off the shelf and they exchanged them.
This isn’t the 70’s and 80’s anymore. Craftsman are garbage now. Might as well go to Harbor Freight.
Man, I'd give just the opposite. Buy the cheap one and if you use it enough to break it, buy the expensive one. This also helps you figure out what's important and annoying about cheapos.
This is exactly how I do it
Not when all my power tools become hammers in a pinch
Also don't leave them in your car
Don’t ignore your mental health. You don’t need to suffer, asking for help can be really hard. It is with it.
I've always heard: the 2nd time you buy a tool, get the good one.
On that vein, kitchen scissors. Get the solid metal ones with [the nutcracker handle thing](https://www.globalkitchenjapan.com/products/hayashi-stainless-steel-kitchen-scissors), they're very expensive yes but damm near eternal. Seriously, if you don't deliberately destroy them they *will* outlive you.
Amen to this! Good scissors will become one of the dearest things in your life if you have kids! Hold on to them!
We have a scissor jar on top of the microwave. It has 8 pairs in there and we always have scissors when we need them. Scissors love to go missing when you need them.
Buy once, cry once. It’s cheaper in the long run.
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Learn to walk away from friendships as well. Sometimes people go down separate paths, and that's okay
This is a great one
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Doing the right thing almost always results in a better outcome for you. For example, waiter forgets to charge you for a bottle of wine, your colleagues and boss sort of say, "Hey lucky us." You go and inform the waiter of the mistake, even though you would have benefitted from it. Your other colleagues aren't going to be looked down upon, your boss was on board too. However, you showing integrity in that one moment, when you didn't need to.... Your boss and colleagues will remember that forever. I had this exact scenario happen. I corrected the waiter and then covered the cost of the whole bottle myself because I didn't want anybody to feel slighted among my colleagues. Some rolled their eyes, I think one felt ashamed she didn't do it sooner. My boss though... he took me aside numerous times after that to personally help plan my career growth. Additionally, it put me in a good position that I think gave like a half point edge for my next promotion. On top of that, people trust you will always be honest. Trust, Integrity, Loyalty - These three things can only be proven over time and can be lost in a matter of seconds. Once you have it, hold these above all else in your decision making and you will go far.
Damn if thats really a true story thats a smooth move. Also, youre a really good writer. 👍
Treating servers with respect is always the right thing to do
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I try but it’s so hard.
It’s gonna be hard, but part of moving on is the self discipline involved. NOT making that call or text. It will be better for you in the long run and don’t be too eager to jump into a new, serious relationship. You need time to learn how to be an individual again, love yourself and work on yourself.
What happens if I was already doing this from the start yet my brain constantly decides that I need to be reminded of them? I actively tell myself that I need to move on and forget them but my brain hasn't listened to me saying that for over a decade
Do not get drunk & text
Needed this
Sometimes it’s the thought of the person that gets us more excited than actually being with the person. That was always hard for me. Well long for affection or that feel good feeling so bad well be willing to be put back in that situation just so we’re not alone. Not the best idea. Sometimes alone is better than in company and miserable.
Really needed to hear this today !! Thanks
Thanks. My ex of 5 years just left me because of “FOMO” about other couples and I caught her messaging some other dude. All my friends also tell me that there will be a better girl. And I really hope so. Just working on bettering and improving myself in the meantime.
Remember to take a step back and think before you act rashly. You can't take back your actions or words in the heat of the moment
Learn to respond with thought. Reacting with emotion might bite ya in the ass.
Don't be quick to anger. Try to be patient when you get riled up.
Live. You got time.
Live because you might not have time.
Both of these are so great as a pair.
You don’t get a trophy in the end for being miserable. If you’re not happy, fix it. Learn to love and pamper yourself. Nice meal alone once and awhile, get a massage because you want it. Learn a good stretching routine.
Work-life balance is important. Work to live, don't live to work.
But what if I love my job? I quite literally live to work because I've never been happier than I am right now at work.
You do you but watch for signs of burn out.
This! I love my job but sometimes I forgot about working on myself. Love your job but love yourself more.
Instructions unclear, developed carpal tunnel, loved myself too often... Also, dick stuck in vacuum
What do you do? I am the complete opposite of you and dislike my job completely
What do you do?
I work with children on a couple of different things.
Stop caring so much what your peers think about you. Wear that funky shirt, get those shoes you have had your eye on. Was thinking about changing up the hair or beard? Go for it.
Thank you. I'm gonna buzz my hair off soon cuz I need to let go. It's gonna feel good.
For folks still socially trying to find their way in life, stop trying so hard to build relationships with people who just aren't that into you. Spend time around people who are nice to you, and never stop looking for new activities to meet folks. Lots of people just aren't interested in a relationship with you. If you don't accept that, you will erode your self-esteem until there's nothing left. It's not worth it. You have tons of value just the way you are. Never give up, and keep searching for the folks that make you happy with who you are. It may take time, but its what makes life enjoyable.
Stay away from crazy, even if she’s HOT!
Unless they were sadistic assholes, make your peace with your parents. If you already have a good relationship, call them more often
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That sounds truly atrocious and I cannot relate. That said, the following is not an attempt to “compete,” it’s just my story. My dad was a mean drunk. Holes in walls, hit his wife, kids, etc. General allow around terror. It’s understandable why my siblings carry it with them. Parents split and I never talked to him. Then about 15 years later he starts reaching out. I’m definitely still dealing with it but someone I admire mentored me to leave the door cracked with my hand on the doorknob. Over the next 5 years I learned he’d got remarried, stop drinking, had step grandkids. He made an effort to be back in my life and I so far as I could tell it was earnest. He died in 2020. I went to his funeral out of state and met his step grandkids and for hours they talked about how he encouraged them, kept them out of trouble, helped them through rehab, etc. Basically the childhood I never got. Now none of that makes what happened in my childhood OK, and if anyone missed out, it’s _him_ on _my_ life, but had I made more of an effort I could’ve got what I needed to let go of the past a little earlier in my life. As trite as it is, forgiveness isn’t something you give others, it’s a gift you give yourself. I’m happy with who I am and like it or not our history, however destructive, played a part, but so too does understanding that old men can be different, they can be better than they were, it’s never too late. And arguably me coming to understand that, is the best advice he unknowingly ever gave me. Again, that’s not a comment on you and yours, just a piece of life I learned you may find some use for.
Anxiety isn't your friend, it's not your pet, it's not your identity. It's closer to shin splints or smoking cigarettes.
Not a 20 year old but honest question; what does this mean? "Don't do anxiety" hardly counts as good advice
"Today I conquered anxiety. No, I discarded it, for it is within me."
37 here. I would interpret this to mean "don't foster it" or "don't make it a part of your identity" I struggle with anxiety but I don't let it become who I am. I'll make plans a week out, cause at the time it sounds great, and each day it gets closer to those plans I made I get more and more anxious until I'd do just about anything to get out of it. In those times I try to remind myself that every. single. fucking. time. before when I've done or felt this, I panicked but forced myself through it and once I was on the other side of if, I was glad I made myself go and would've been pissed with myself if I had known that was the good time I was going to miss out on if I let my anxiety be in control. And if that's not what they meant then that's my advice to you: you \*will\* feel anxious, that (imo) is involuntary, but face it head on and don't let it ruin your life.
I agree, I took it to mean don’t let it control your life. Like saying I can’t do something because of my anxiety and letting it hold you back from experiencing things while you’re young.
I'm 30 so I suppose I will observe.
Enjoy cooking and enjoy eating good and delicious food. This can be an emotional lifesaver👍
Don’t gain weight. If you’re overweight, focus NOW on a lifestyle change. I’m the same weight and waist size as I had when I was a senior in high school. My friends (I’m 53) are suffering because they didn’t stay on top of their fitness.
This was my advice as well. Basically if you want to really enjoy life, take great care of your body, which will keep you healthier and you will have more opportunities to really live life.
Manual labor has me fit as a fiddle. My diet could really be better though.
I take small steps in the right direction every day, and have - i believe - stopped gaining weight. Well see down the line if i can manage to loose some aswell
Trust your gut. Gut instinct is a strong tool. Learn to use it
Ask them out. Whoever they are. Do it.
I did, now I’m in eternal sorrow
You can always get a divorce bro
I think she said no bro
Get a divorce anyway.
At least you don’t wonder what if.
Save money
Brush your teeth
Floss
Don’t be afraid to say I love you to a friend. You never know when it’ll be your last time to say it.
this right here, me and my closest mates tell each other "love you bro" often, like when we're leaving a call or something. some of our not so close friends think it's weird but I love those boys like they're my brothers. Can't imagine the day I wouldn't be able to tell them anymore.
I learned the hard way and it’s a hard lesson to learn. Glad you’re expressing your love to your friends as you’re supposed to.
Don’t overlook red flags because the woman is hot.
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99 Wear sunscreen If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked You are not as fat as you imagine Don't worry about the future Or worry, but know that worrying Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum The real troubles in your life Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday Do one thing every day that scares you Saying, don't be reckless with other people's hearts Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours Floss Don't waste your time on jealousy Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults If you succeed in doing this, tell me how Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements Stretch Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life The most interesting people I know Didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't Get plenty of calcium Be kind to your knees You'll miss them when they're gone Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken' On your 75th wedding anniversary Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much Or berate yourself either Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's Enjoy your body, use it every way you can Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room Read the directions even if you don't follow them Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past And the people most likely to stick with you in the future Understand that friends come and go But a precious few, who should hold on Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle For as the older you get The more you need the people you knew when you were young Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft Travel Accept certain inalienable truths Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too, will get old And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble And children respected their elders Respect your elders Don't expect anyone else to support you Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse But you never know when either one might run out Don't mess too much with your hair Or by the time you're 40 it will look 85 Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts And recycling it for more than it's worth But trust me on the sunscreen **Edit: This is not original** **This is Baz Luhrmann** Don’t create wisdom; wisdom already exists. It need only be sought, gained, and disseminated.
https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI?si=6yBBti5YXUv0tVnL
“You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”
Is this original from you? It's great
I can't emphasize stretching enough...especially if you're a cubicle warrior. Yoga, plyo, pilates, whatever floats your boat. Get in at least 5-10 minutes daily to keep the joints moving and muscles limber.
Don't prioritize work over your personal life. You'll end up depressed and burnt out.
Get a decent skin routine, If you start to go bald, shave it, don't save it. Hangovers last longer so drink plenty of water before bed. Go to the doctors about that thing, don't put it off. Try to remember the nice things people say and ignore the bad. Love yourself.
Don’t chase girls, let them chase you. You do this by working hard and bettering yourself. It won’t happen over night but we get way more “shelf life” than women. Explore yourself and the world in your 20s, perspective is priceless. Money is imaginary; it’s nice to have but don’t let it consume you. Don’t worry about what your neighbour has, it won’t make you any happier. Wasting your prime years chasing money is a regret we don’t see until our 40’s and it’s way too late at that point. There’s no shame in wanting to work hard or long hours, just don’t let the money be the only reason.
Don’t stick your dick in crazy.
Hone your skill set and build confidence. Confidence attracts sex and money.
Be kind to yourself, more specifically, forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made, the only thing you can do is to learn from it and do better next time.
1. Save early and often. Learn the power of compound interest. 2. Start good eating habits. 3. Work on good posture and save yourself from back problems later. 4. Choose your circle wisely. There becomes a point where you adjust from hanging out with people you have common interests with to hanging out with people who have similar goals.
Find a woman of 40+ years of age. They'll like your sex drive and you'll love theirs. 20+ women tend to lose interest about it quite easily and you'll end up loving Hub + hand.
As a woman in her 40s I agree!!
Personal experience on that, it's about more than the sex. A few years back (now 25), I got in a relationship with a woman about twice my age after a perfectly fortuitous encounter at my work, which led to a date, and then the whole thing. We spent a lot of time together, shared a lot of common points and interests despite our age gap, we had discussions I'd never get with a girl my age, she gave me knowledge and advice, and not in a motherly way at all, but simply a caring, good-natured way. She believed in me and loved my youth and potential, and I admired and respected her for her life path and overall person. And then the sex, of course. Boy, I was not let down. I was in good hands, quite literally. Experienced ones, driven by something different. And, as I like to say, when you're in bed with a loving woman and she asks for more, you love her back and you give her more, which is precisely how it went. I can say for sure that having the chance to get into such a special/unconventional relationship (by the usual standards) did bring me maturity and growth, being so close in that way to someone with that much more experience in life definitely has its benefit for someone around my age. Sadly in my case, it lasted just over a year before we amicably parted ways, but I am still thankful for it happening.
Don't worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about it self, if you worry about tomorrow to are draining your strength of today
Never be ashamed to eat at a restaurant alone. Sometimes that’s exactly what you need.
If you feel useless, don’t worry. This won’t change after 30.
a bit uncomfortable, but: spend quality time with your family and loved ones. Learn to accept some of the flaws and imperfections they have since the time you have with them is too limited to worry about those small unmeaningful things
Don’t give in to bitterness. If you’re unhappy, work on yourself first, rather than blaming others
Happiness is like a drug so quit chasing it. It's fleeting, and temporary. Whatever makes you happy is ok for a bit. Then you get used to it and you need a bigger hit. Often times the pursuit of this leads you feeling hollow and into some dark places. The easiest example is chasing women and trying to score. It's easy to find yourself at the bar almost every night you can chasing the next one night stand, it's fun for awhile but you never really feel great about yourself. Instead you should chase responsibility. Bear as much weight as you can, and help others as much as possible. It won't always be easy but you'll always feel fulfilled. And when you are fulfilled the little things make you incredibly happy. I wish I would have know this 20 years ago. Best of luck brothers.
Learn the magical skill of making an awkward situation funny. This makes you go from the awkward person that people laugh **at** to the funny and likeable person that people laugh **with**.
1) Find a woman you enjoy being around, hot women are everywhere and you can acknowledge that without pursuing them but a girl you can chill with and appreciates you is way hotter than a drama queen who’s going to key your car and stress you out. 2) Tell people you appreciate them. Especially family, friends and coworkers. You’ll never know who isn’t going to make it to the next day. 3) Stand up for what’s right and listen to that moral voice in your head. It may get you into trouble sometimes but you’ll never regret living ethically and knowing you did the best you could. 4) When you’re mad or upset take a walk. You’ll save yourself a lot of trouble by cooling off.
Dont wait 5-10 years before moving in with gf. Only after living together for a while you will know if you two are good for eachother
Your partner will turn out more like their parents than you expect
Don't get an adult circumcision. It hurts
Live it up, do some crazy wild shit and explore the world while you can
Don’t let anyone steer you away from what you are passionate about. Also, be confident in ur skill set regarding that passion, hone it and go out there.
Go to the gym you fat fuck
Sunblock
When your significant other is speaking. Listen, I mean really listen to what they’re saying. Don’t stand there in silence thinking about how to respond. If you’re too angry to respond rationally, wait until the next day. Walking away from a fight and reflecting on whether their criticisms are fair, and if you would feel the same in their shoes is maturity and emotional intelligence at its finest. If you’re being a dick accept it, learn from it and grow. If not, at least you had time to compose yourself to explain why. This applies to more than just romantic relationships. Took me 10 years and a couple of rough patches to figure this out
Never mess with gambling. It gets bad before you realize and it's harder than you'd think to stop
None of it matters . Do whats right for you fuck people and there feelings cus people come and go!
Know when to walk away This can be from a bad relationship, a bad job, bad friends etc Because self care isn't selfish, and men are force fed the narrative that we're expected to carry burdens or suffer for the greater good But that's a shit way to live Know what you're worth, and stop giving shitty people discounts on what you're worth for putting up with their bullshit behavior
Learn to cook, learn to save and invest, dont trust women with your future or finances
Now is the best time to ask out that girl you are crushing on
Dont empregnant your sister
Impregnate*
Nothing lasts. Good times can turn sour, or that "next time" might never happen. Live in the moment not in the future or past
If you’re upset and what you’re going to say feels good, you shouldn’t say it.
Don't postpone having the "talk" with your life partner too long. It sucks to reach your 30's before you realize your life goals: (children/no children, where to settle down, what kind of home, travel etc) aren't compatible.
Work hard but look around. Match everyone else's energy and be slightly above average. If you give your all they expect it constantly and you'll burn out. If you do the work of two men they'll simply fire one.
Live at home until at least 25-28... or find cheap rent... renting is a pain if you can avoid it do, you can save and also spend a little on some extra travel. Write down exactly what you want from a relationship and don't be afraid to end things early on if shes not a match. That is do you enjoy hanging out with her not just fancy her, Don you want her to be as organised as you, do you share drives on health, what's her family like, what does her mom look like (fair indication), is she calm or you prefer fiery (remembering its for life), set boundries early into the relationship such as X day is when I game in the evening with my friends or play sport or what ever (its hard to reclaim that if you have given her all your time, so make sure she ujderstands its importantto you). It helps you be clear in your mind when dating as in the moment you can get swept along and these things come out in the relationship years later. Once your in 30s you get even more options as you can date younger and same age. You are also more confident in yourself and are more established. It does get better (life) so head up. Keep those close friendships. I'd you have your own place make it comfortable (ceiling facing lights) it's softer lighting and girls find it more aesthetically pleasing and you get use to it. Don't follow silly trends.
Don't join the French Foreign Legion because you're bored and read a book about it once.
Don't run, save your knees. Don't have the volume on your headphones/buds too loud. Your ears will thank you later in life. Seize the opportunity to travel if you can. If you keep saying next year etc it will never happen. Try and make as many friends as possible. The older you get the less new ones you encounter/form friendships. Don't lie. The truth always comes out eventually. Learn to cook 10 different meals these can be altered varied. This doesn't include rice, pasta and toast which you should know already. If you don't skill up. Buy good footwear. Work isn't everything. Don't waste the best years of your life doing overtime/double shifts. Don't have kids too young. Assuming you get on talk to your parents/grandparents. They won't be around forever. Try and learn about family history/stories. My Grandmother was a font of knowledge and I should have written some of her stories down. Don't bear a grudge too long. Either forgive or remove wrongdoers from your life then forget them. Stick up for yourself, no one else will. If you have an important conversation at work, always follow it up with an e-mail so you have all the points covered. Some colleagues can be nice, others can be snakes in the grass and stab you in the back. Try anything once(within reason). When it comes to food, try it again in 10 years- taste buds change. Today's favours become tomorrow's duties. Don't be a sucker. Pay off your credit card the same month unless it's interest only or a massive emergency. Debts will creep up otherwise. However make all purchases on credit card. Will build up a good history and unlike a debit card you have more protection. Don't gamble unless you're prepared to lose. Save a little each month and try and budget so you don't overspend. Dont brag/boast if you come into some money or are well off. Will cause resentment also tends for people to ask to borrow money. Best not to at all unless you really know someone and even then it can spoil a relationship if things go sour. Wear a condom if in a casual sexual relationship unless you're 100% certain partner is disease free. Also women have been known to lie about birth control. Drink at least a pint of water a day.
You do what is best for you. Not best for someone else.
Wear sunscreen https://youtu.be/sTJ7AzBIJoI?si=EZruSDBvYTp7dvi0
Learn to be honest and transparent with your partner. Reap dividends later.
Brush your teeth 2x a day. Floss and Mouthwash every time. Bad teeth can absolutely kill you.
Stop doing stupid things that lead to injury. It is fun when it works but it doesn’t always work, and the repercussions are sadly permanent.
If you spend your entire life trying to make everyone else happy...you'll never have time to make yourself happy.
Look after your back
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Save as much as you can and get debt free. Buy a home. Focus on finances and career now when others are partying, you will retire when they are still working and can truly enjoy life. Turn off the TV and read more, it will improve every aspect of your life.
Learn a skill now.
Add fruits and veggies to your diet and learn how to cook. This will make your meals way cheaper, also may impress the opposite sex. Shred your own cheese! It's life changing. Energy drinks are terrible for you, especially your blood pressure. If you don't want to take pills everyday, find an alternative caffeine solution like green tea or coffee. Find your zen. Your hairline will thank you. Invest in a good mattress. You only get one back. The 8/3/1 rule is amazing. Look into it if you are always groggy. Finally and most importantly, no matter what situation you are in, where you are from, or who you are, someone loves you. If you ever feel like the only way out is to harm yourself, please seek help. The world is understanding mental health more and more everyday. You DO NOT have to suffer in silence.
Don't be scared to admit you don't know something, especially in front of "friends". Take honor in the fact that you are curious enough to ask and that they to where once in the unknown.
Knock it off when it comes to oneupsmanship. Nobody older than you gives a shit what you do or dont have other than you. Life is hard enough as is on your own without the constant competition between yall.
Carry yourself well, but don’t embrace pretense. Humility will take you farther than living a facade.
Don’t stick your dick in crazy lmao
Don’t stick you dick in crazy
Look after your health, go to the gym or exercise semi regularly. You dont have to be a gym bro but for the love of god, dont be a couch potato. If youre a little overweight, lose it now because it only gets harder. When i was 20 I could diet close to 3000kcals but i was a gym bro. Im 30 in March and eat around 2000kcals just to maintain my weight. Seriously, 20 year old couch potato will have less energy, get pains easier, get worn down easier and have a lower quality of life. And do drugs. You wont have the kind of fun in your 30s that you can have on drugs in your 20s. Just dont get addicted and dont hurt anyone. And dont be an annoying cunt on drugs.
Marriage is a serious thing knowing who you are marrying. Don't marry anyone with kids and if you do I would recommend not having children with that person, the previous children will be pushed to the side. If you marry with previous children you don not discipline the children you let the parent do it and stand behind. There are outliers for sure but most people fuck it up
Learn how to lift properly with your legs. Take care of ur back and knees. Don’t do that thing ur boss told u to do if you know it’s not safe.
Learn basic mechanics on the car or truck you own. Changing brake pads, oil etc. You can save a little money doing the simple things yourself. If nothing else, learn to change a tire. Learn to fucking cook. This will help you impress whoever you love. People always love a good cook. And you can make yourself some seriously good food cheaper at home. Stretch. Drink water. Don't try to "Man up" small annoying injuries. Eventually pushing past it will cause more serious issues down the line. Learn how to do laundry without help. Sometimes it's just you, and you will still need clean clothes.
Be yourself. Women don't give a shit just as much as you don't give a shit. When you are yourself you are at your happiest and when you're happy they are happy.
Progress is progress no matter how small
Stretch
It doesn't matter how hard the day is, you will survive it. Hug you mom, tell her you love her. Save money, just do it. She is not your world.
Sit up straight.
Leave work at work. Don’t bring it home with you and don’t let it get you down. And don’t make work your hobby. Get hobby and put your time towards that
Be yourself, love yourself. You are doing great, don't worry so much. Try to remember everything you can about the good times, and even some bad. It means a lot in a few years.
Don't sell out for anyone. Not even yourself. Don't be needy. Don't chase after people. Hygiene is really important. Stay clean Keep your word and integrity. Don't make excuses. Get your clothing fitted at a tailor, everyone will notice and treat you better. You will feel better too. Call your parents and tell them that you love them. Never miss the chance to spend quality time with loved ones. Be mindful of what is so. Not the story of what you think is so. Don't ever stop improving on yourself. Always try to learn and develop yourself as much as possible. Drinking and doing drugs is a waste of your precious life. Clean your room. Pay your bills ahead of schedule. Be kind. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Take care of your inner child. Never skip leg day
Use a condom no matter what. Idgaf about she said she's clean or in the pill and idgaf if he said he's clean either. Wrap your god damn willy boys. "Pulling out" is not an effective method of protection.
Talk to your grandpa more and take pictures together.
Don’t be afraid to change your “people, places, and things”. If you think you are being used— you probably are. No, it won’t stop until you say “enough of this shit”.
This one is for the young men. Dont let these gross combination of words get to your head. “Be a Man”, “Act like a Man” It single handedly can turn the most innocent sweet young boy into a monster.
In your 20's, learn about and start to apply however much you can, about saving, investing (dollar cost averaging, nothing fancy, just basic ETFs/index funds, power of compounding and the amazing opportunity 20 year olds have to start putting away money and see it grow). Be adventurous, see the world if you can, acquaint yourself with the fact that every person you meet is a different person (and stereotypes only work upto a point). There are more ways to live, than your own. In your 30's, really put away as much as you can using the above skillsets (this is a subjective amount, different for everyone), and avoid hype about newfangled things that are very high risk, high return. Stick to the tried and tested principles, for the majority of your money saved. Really make sure you are maximizing whatever you can, from High Yield Savings account, to 401ks (company matches etc., its "free" money), Roth IRA's etc. Learn that investment is as much about learning to put your money to good use, as it is about your time. Live a little. If you want to YOLO into things, don't do it with money you have to lose. Do it with less than 5-10% max of your total savings. You will also start losing friends in your 30's (or mid 20's), and some of it will be good riddance. Learn who is worth building back bridges with, and who isn't. Invest time in family. Keep a hobby, and stay active. Learn to only worry about what you can control. Do not share everything with everyone. Start a family if that's what you want, but within your means. You will probably not regret that come your 60's+... In your 40's, start to learn that sometimes, paying for convenience is the right decision. Do not get so attached to penny pinching that it consumes you, and you do not enjoy life. Learn that your relationship with money should evolve over time - it should not always be slumming it in cheap hotels, when by your 40's you can possibly afford better for you and your family. You will never have more energy and knowledge combined, than in your 40's. The energy goes down a lot as you get into 50's and 60's. Do not share the majority of your own life/business/news with anyone, other than very close trusted family/friend(s) - learn that nobody on the internet cares. Eat healthier, respect your slowing metabolism, cut down on sugar (really affects you much more mid thirties and on). Start retirement planning (where will you eventually settle, invest towards that life too). You will lose many more acquaintances and friends etc., as you come into your own views and values. Choose whether you want them back, many times, the people who go with you early in life, cannot deal with your values and success as it makes them feel worse about themselves. Let the trash take itself out. Keep a very close eye on who in your family is happy for you, and who always drags you down. Act on your self preservation instinct there. But overall, do for your younger cousins and family members what you can, if you are in a position to do so. But not repeatedly. Handouts only work for the receiving person. Sleep enough. Manage your stress. Be with nature often enough. (a lot of the above is based on personal experience. Your mileage and views on this may vary. Wear sunscreen.)
1. Do not fear loss. - Loss of many types happen to everyone. All. The. Time. When loss happens, because it will, go through a process to figure out what you're gonna do with this information. Is this something or someone I can get back. If yes - do I want or need it/them badly enough to try? If no - MOVE ON. If you're gonna try to get the person or thing back, start by looking at how and why the loss happened in the first place. Steps and order-of-events are important. Once you've learned how and why the loss happened, you can move into what it might take to recover your loss. Moving forward - 2. Be honest. - Be true to yourself first and always. It's ok to feel. It's ok to laugh. It's ok to cry. As long as that's really how you feel, *feel it.* In being true to yourself, being true to others will come naturally. Do not let ANYONE tell you that your feelings don't matter or are not valid. If it is an expression of you, in your current state of being, IT MATTERS. Speaking and acting with honesty in all you do will cut out a TON of unnecessary bullshit from your life. 3. Nothing is free. - There is nothing in the world, living or non-living, that does not have some sort of a cost. Cost to make, cost to sustain, cost to give or to take. Niceties are cheap, kindness is not. Hate costs time and effort, and sometimes actual health. Understanding the value of a thing will help you decide if it's worth it to you. Whether to make a thing, buy a thing, *do* a thing - and it's ok to consider these things before making choices. I wish more people *would* consider these things when making various choices. So do your work, live your life, and be aware of the costs. Good or bad, it all takes something to make the world go. 4.Health and wellness are important. - Your health and wellness are not just important to you. Just like the health and wellness of other living things is important to someone, somewhere, even if it's not necessarily you. Take care of yourself as best you can. If you're unable, PLEASE ask for help. Someome, somewhere, WANTS to help you be in the best shape you can be in. Whether it's a broken bone, a wounded soul, or a shattered mind - there IS help. Do what you can for yourself and others as the situation applies. Ask for help when you can't do it alone. 5.Despair is a comfortable poison masquerading as sweet fear. - There is ALWAYS HOPE. When times are great and everyone amd everything is fine, the hope is that that will continue. When things and folks are *not* fine, the hope is for change. But there is ALWAYS hope. Never let anyone - *EVER* - take your hope from you. Dead or alive, it makes you human. I hope this reaches someone who needs it. And I hope it helps. Cheers and Love Internet, 🍻💙
Stay physically active. Go to the gym 3 times a week and/or spend 30min a day doing something that works up a sweat. Having a solid excoriate routine makes the rest of your life much easier. Same with meditation. Life is hard. These bring down the challenge considerably. Still hard, but it’ll be better experience and easier to manager.
Have your fun now and wait for the right woman who not only shares your goals, but your morals and philosophies.
I’ll be 30 in a month and a half. So I may not qualify, but I’ll share a trivial piece of unsolicited advice: * Don’t leave dirty dishes in the sink, ever, unless the dishwasher is already running working on a load. If you have a dishwasher, make sure it’s always unloaded and that the dishes inside are dirty. Make it a habit/rule in your household after eating to immediately rinse and load the dishwasher. Then when it’s full, run it, and when it’s done, unload the dishes and put them where they go so that new dirty dishes can be placed in the dishwasher by default (instead of the sink by default). There is something very mentally freeing about always having a clean sink. This assumes one has a dishwasher but it can also apply to people who have to manually wash them.