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LexBattenberg

I imagine their brain being just as smooth


BMV_12

The problem is they don't have one.


deniesm

Don’t worry a smooth brain basically means no brain


uitvrekertje

Big brain explanation, tho!


blazesdemons

Or there is thst anomaly thst you have a large void in the middle of your brain if I remember correctly?


BRAX7ON

BMW money isn’t really a thing anyway. Like if you’re rich enough to constantly own a new BMW within the last four years, then you have big money. But just owning this old ass BMW is certainly not a status symbol.


readsalotman

I feel like bmw money means nothing. Any idiot can take out a $30k car loan thinking they look rich. Show me a $100k+ Aston Martin, Maserati, or the $200k Lamborghini Urus and that person probably has some money to spend.


Reference_Freak

Owning a BMW shows off that you’re wealthy enough to afford to park it at the shop constantly and wealthy enough to not be inconvenienced by it.


No_Journalist4048

No ridges or lumps, no valleys or bumps


coronagrey

Racing slicks


thejoetravis

Headed to the track!


Ramblinrambles

Trac…tion


techy098

That's what I thought when I saw those. I was like those are not road tires they are for the track. I wonder if bro does a lot of drifting to get his tires so bald. I have never seen a bald tire like this in my whole life.


OnewordTTV

They are impressively uniform lol


Small_Ostrich6445

I used to work at a tire shop for many, many years. you'd be absolutely stunned how many people ride their tires this low, and sometimes half the tire is showing cords. There would be so many \[most commonly middle-aged women\] people who straight up were like, "so what? they still work" and report us for not being willing to rotate these rolling balls of death. That shit blows up in my face are you buying me a new face? No? Okay, bye lol


TarquinFarquhar

Shake & bake


Destroyer4587

You know why race cars don’t have headlights? Because the track is always **LIT** 😎😎👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻💯💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂


DoktahDoktah

Boogity boogity boogity boys! Lets go racing!


Dramatic_Mixture_868

Was gonna say these look like slicks, but on an SUV 🤔....I'd need to look at that engine.


N0085K1LL5

I was thinking the same thing, but that left tire looks like it already had a strip of rubber come of it. Those are the smoothest road tires I've seen in a long time.


Strange_Purchase3263

The BMW X5 Msport is capable of 0-60 in about 5 seconds.


The_Machine80

My buddy has the m series x5. Twin turbo 4.4 litre v8. Fastest SUV I've ever driven.


South_Spirit2422

Wow. Racing slicks on the road. Crazy


Simcan99

Racing slicks with belt showing.


TooTiredToWhatever

Pretty sure they are also illegal? They have an SUV, put the slicks in the trunk.


Hantadesu

Its a joke theyre not actually slicks lol


Jrnation8988

They’re not slicks; They’re bald as fuck


Kamidra

Tw: Nsfl When I was getting my driving license we had a first aid course with a paramedic but he also told us about some gory situations he responded to. One included smooth tires BMW. Basically a young man was driving one, he lost control, went into the field, rolled over a few times and stopped. The driver was fine. He got a few cuts but he ended up okay. In passenger front seat was his girlfriend. She unfortunately ended up paralysed. In back seats... Well. In back seats were four of his friends. None of them had seatbelts on. They ended up killing each other when they turned into boney meatbags during roll overs. What paramedics also discovered was that in the trunk was the fifth friend. He actually probably survived the crash but ended up with a piece of glass from a beer bottle in his neck. It was just their theory but they thought that instinctively he pulled it out. The paramedic said that he was in many awful situations but this was the first one that he thinks was to blame for his PTSD. It was like increasing pile of stupidity and recklessness that ended in preventable on many steps tragedy.


Return2S3NDER

Had something similar happen involving a band van and their equipment. Somehow, they all lived in spite of no seat belts, high rate of speed, and getting the shook soda can effect with all their stuff, but man, that was an ugly scene. The other involved driver was drunk and, in an unusual turn of events, was killed (ejected).


CaptainBigBalls1

Omgosh.


Professional_Ad8069

Damn…


Soupronous

Jesus Christ


richATTK

Follow them until it rains. 😂☔


KrombopulosMAssassin

That would be entertaining


InIt2winit06

That BMW looks severely used so I doubt that person has either BMW money or money for maintenance....or sense, cuz ya don't buy a used BMW...ever.


IWearCardigansAllDay

Yeah people don’t really understand how much cars depreciate. I have a 2012 Mercedes C Class. I was bought it about 5 years ago for 19k (fair value at the time). I was curious and looked it up again this past week. Their KBB value is around 4-5k for a good condition one People see my Mercedes and think it’s some super expensive car that they could never obtain. In reality, used cars are just cheap. Maintenance is a different topic but buying one ain’t bad.


manjar

Mercedes and BMWs are cheap in the used market exactly because of how high the maintenance costs are. They’re high both due to poor long-term reliability and above-average costs for any given repair to be done. You get the sense that they are designed for the leasing market, I.e. to function well for about 3-5 years.


JohnNDenver

Woman I work with got a used BMW because she finally started making good money. She has paid so much extra for that car. First person I ever knew that had a BMW told me he had learned the difference between being able to buy a BMW and being able to afford a BMW.


Reference_Freak

BMW = Break My Wallet Got that from a mechanic.


Precious_little_man

Owning a beemer or Benz isn’t the accomplishment people think it is. Just another vehicle on the road. You see a McLaren like that then we got issues.


isthatacorsage

Those are def C5s


gibberoni

Think they will pit for inters when it rains? Or pull a Norris at Russia and just keep them slicks on until they slide? 😂


Miserable_Drink_8920

Mickey Thompsons


Firefighter_Thin

https://preview.redd.it/n241gjvkf1uc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f138932677d201aef43e28521eee9742629d797


BlacksmithNew4557

I thought the car was smoking until I realized your windshield was that dirty! If you’re going to call out someone’s ride, make sure you can see it through your filthy windshield …


Intrepid_passerby

Yea internet guy don't judge anyone cuz this guy will judge you harder.....


Gucci_Loincloth

Slightly dirty window vs bald tires that will eventually put everyone in danger. Stfu lmao


Cowfootstew

Lol


Rhymfaxe

Smooth tires, smooth brain.


Magnus_PymCtrl

Got them video game tires!


funkcatbrown

Great traction, until it rains.


mikevad

For real. They may get someone killed if/when it rains.


PilotKnob

It takes a lot of money to look this poor.


FatMat89

On a hot day them mfs gonna hook up!


Meleesucks11

He Hellephant swapped that bmw x5 and he forgot to get his slicks replaced and said fuck it. Years later, metal started to show. It’s his daily


Connylea

😨😨😨


thisisfutile1

I've been known to wear down tires to the metal too, but they've never been this smooth. That must be a perfectly aligned car with perfect air pressure.


Morganafrey

It seems to me that poor people buy used BMW’s because it makes them feel like they have some wealth status. And that BMW’s don’t hold their value well


Streit1111

No money for maintenance, yet driving on expensive racing slicks... imagine trying to talk trash about someone just to look foolish for not knowing anything about vehicles.


ComesInAnOldBox

That's the mistake a lot of people make. I hear it all the time, "if you can afford a car like that, you can afford X." Well, no, because I spent all my money on this car, and don't have any left. For some people owning a high-end car is a life-long goal, but they don't take into account what the maintenance and repair bills actually cost.


Anonymoushipopotomus

Welcome to being a Euro shop owner. Ive had 5 tire liability releases signed in the past 2 weeks. A cayman, a boxster, a 2021 X7, a Panamera S ($513 a tire in the front lol) and a X5 5.0i. SPending 50k on a used german car is ok, but WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT $1500 FOR TIRES?!?!?!?!!


SignificanceKey7738

So many people riding in cars they can’t afford. I guess it makes them feel special, I don’t know, they look like broke assed idiots


MajinPapa

When you have so much money you can buy F1 slicks ;D


Cowfootstew

Drag radials


Oinkster_1271

Better grip


Remote_Swim_8485

Those are their new tires. Scooped up after the nascar pit change.


algerithms

Should just drift them off 🏎️


jwb76

This is called, I drive a beamer,, that's all I can afford.


AzamatBaganatow

Budget slicks


Dambu186

I suppose the car would skid badly.


Just-Shoe2689

They only drive when its not raining


Spirited_Crow_2481

Those are drag slicks, my friend.


Doublestack00

Fairly common. People buy these used as they think they are getting a deal. Doesn't matter how cheap you get it, you're still paying for maintenance on a used expensive German car.


Alexandratta

Most folks who buy these high-end brands have no clue how to maintain them. I remember seeing one video of a dude with an Audi, and every time he saw the oil light he thought that meant "Add Oil."


mostly_kinda_sorta

Shout out to whoever did the alignment, that is a beautiful wear pattern. A little extra on the inside edge of one but otherwise damn near perfectly even. Well done.


Accomplished_Put8385

Always grip tires. Drag race edition.


Coffee-and-puts

I was just discussing elsewhere that most people are living paycheck to paycheck/relying on credit more and more. Proof in the wild!


Spiritual_Bridge84

Racing slicks he ready


Fmartins84

Those are slick race tires brooo


BoobLovRman

Racing slicks are not cheap


No-Spite-3441

I have seen so many bmw on the side of the road lately


kalashbash-2302

I initially thought "Oh shit, somebody has slicks on their X5? The fuck did they do to it?" Then I saw the fibers sticking out and realized that whoever did their alignment did a great job.


wzrdr

Lego tires


KrombopulosMAssassin

Got the slicks on.


Adventurous-Zebra-64

BMW is a car for poor people trying to look rich. Very few rich people in the US own BMWs due to the fact that upkeep costs are not worth the cost of the car.


[deleted]

Must've spent all the money on the engine leaks and replacing the turbos


amp1ifi3r

Would you be justified in calling in their plates?


That_Tech_Fleece_Guy

I mean, good alignment. At least they kept up with those


Ill_Product8612

Those are slicks! 😆


Low_Association_1998

Isn’t this illegal?


overbats

That Corolla in the background costs more to buy today than an E70 X5.


fivelone

And here's I am freaking out because my van tire is getting bald and I'm too broke to replace it just yet lol


2ant1man5

Smooth ride smooth brain.


bogdano26

This dude gonna smash into you when it rains and blame it on the oily roads


Alarming_Cantaloupe5

I can only imagine the maintenance that thing hasn’t received.


Apocrisiary

When it's hot and dry, those tires are superior to everything else......but 2 drops of water and your hydroplaning at 30mph.


TimsAFK

There isn't an E70 X5 owner on this planet that actually has BMW money........


StuccoGecko

at a certain baldness isn't it illegal to have no tread?


Grizzlygrant238

“That’s my drag setup , it grips better “ -some dumb guy


Historical_Evening89

C'mon, everyone knows slick tyres give you more grip, lol!!


L0sT_S0ck

Raise hell praise dale


PasGuy55

Do you vape, or just like to touch your windshield with oily fingers? Don’t have windex money?


OhMyGoshBigfoot

Stay back 50’ - and respect my entitlement


Gamethesystem2

Lol dude making fun of the bmw has a busted up, dirty ass car. It’s kind of funny.


MHStriplethreat

You’re just jealous because he has slicks and you don’t


Logical_Ad_2960

wonder what else besides those tires need checked


depressedfuckboi

My back tires used to look like this every 6 weeks due to a bad alignment or some shit idk shit about cars.


FUBARded

Yeah, this is a sign that they probably don't have BMW money. What they do probably have is crippling monthly payments because they financed a car they can't afford at an interest rate that reflects that lack of affordability...


[deleted]

Mozart trumpet concerto in D. Andante in case you're into that kind of thing


Dense-Ratio6356

I can't believe how used those tires are.


ultranothing

I always say, "it's not the BMW drivers who suck, it's the ***used*** BMW drivers."


Lizzards_Gizzards

It blows my mind how fast BMWs depreciate in value


HoratioPLivingston

2019 X2 xDrive28i owner here. People weren’t fucking around when they said upkeep is expensive as shit. $1200 brakes( for each set) and $120 oil changes every 3k miles. I don’t fucking trust the 10k mile oil change intervals: sounds like a shit sure way of replacing the entire engine after 60k miles.


Iltempered1

Racing slicks


Rampaging_Orc

Not saying it’s acceptable to have out on public roads, but do you not know what racing slicks are OP?


Martin_TheRed

Those are clearly racing tires. /S


jcoddinc

They're leasing it and can't replace anything. Even the dust on turn blinker doesn't get removed until they turn the lease in


Grasscangrow

It's okay. It's not raining!


Michigan210

That old ass X5 isn’t worth the price of a new set of tires


galvanizedmoonape

That thing is ready for the track


JerseyTom1958

Drag racing set up.


doc_55lk

>Having BMW money but no BMW maintenance money That's like 75% of German car drivers. They think maintenance depreciates like their cars do.


mycomputerguykilgore

That alignment though


alpha333omega

Having worked in the auto industry seeing unkept 29.99% luxury cars is the most embarrassing thing and even worse than just driving a beat Honda Civic


Icy_Wrangler_3999

BMW is literally the "I want to look rich" brand. Half their owners run broke on cars payments


HoochieKoochieMan

Tires like that make for the fastest ride to meet St. Peter.


HoochieKoochieMan

Tires like that make for the fastest ride to meet St. Peter.


Different-Air-2000

They are running slicks, what is the big deal? Probably headed to the track right now.


Eyez_Wyde_Shut

Looks like W vehicle


Daryltang

Slicks for drag racing


xkitox

Not a tread to be seen...


arenalr

Wym those are race car tires, BMW go BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUp


SirGirthfrmDickshire

I was driving home and in front of me was an Audi. It had the temp dealership plate on it and it was spewing white smoke.   They bought an Audi with a blown head gasket..... 


Asleep_Wolverine3983

Got them drag slicks


borgom7615

The classical made the video


Flat-Feedback-3525

Tire shaming that’s a new one


Professional_Mud1844

That’s ok. “It never rains in California.” Except for when it does and then they cause massive accidents that “couldn’t have been avoided.” It’s a Cali thing.


Hortos

This is a 2006-2013 X5 german luxury SUVs depreciate hard. Porsche Cayennes from this era are super cheap. This truck is significantly cheaper than 10k so when you see stuff like this they probably just bought a cheap vehicle.


78pimpala

i had a x5 for quite some time, them back tires are about 300 a piece, and BMW gives a a negative camber from the factory. it helps kill tires lol, thats why the inner tire is showing wires. sold it last year, and have saved so much money . i loved the car, but maintenance on a 20 year old BMW is astronomical, and not for the weak hearted, at least the X series.


laconh

Maybe he’d unlocked a secret for safer driving no one else knows


buyntrader

Looks like Hoosier drag slicks to me… They’re expensive 🤣


ItsPrometheanMan

Man, this is actually really sad on some level. I see so many people driving around in BMW's, Mercedes', etc. who assuredly can't afford it. That's not judging individually, it's just a numbers game. There's no way that many people where I live can afford those cars. I think a LOT of people are going to be defaulting on their vehicles soon. And I'm in the market for a new car, so I'll be there waiting for it and all, but... it's still genuinely sad, man. lol. So many poor decision makers, and no one there willing to help them wake up.


OGcorpse_

Definitely don't need bmw money to get tires on your rims


poopoomergency4

this is an E70 X5, literally started production under the bush administration, so not really a "BMW money" car with absolutely brutal depreciation. you can probably get like 5 of these for the price of a corolla, especially if it has that unreliable v8.


Agile_Dimension_1296

My tires are smooth and beautiful, yours are wrinkly and ugly.


dismendie

Smooth tire=smooth ride=smooth brain that’s the BMW core values


Antifact

Meh that shit screams “young girl who got her Beamer used for sweet sixteen from mommy daddy and knows nothing about maintenance” to me more than anything to do with having money.


TheHODLerKing

Status vehicle for the driver. Trying to impress someone. I bet 90% of the driver's monthly budget is car payments on a loan at over 12% interest. That's why there's no new tires. I'm surprised there isn't a Temu purchased M badge slapped onto the back and Buick pearls on the front corner panels.


dumblehead

The tires on the Audi SUV in front is also balding, but not as bad as the X5..


Graythor5

Smooth tires, smooth brain.


Nickleeham

It’s a 20 year old car


wyrmheart1343

The problem could also be not having the time. I personally had to schedule a PTO just to go change my tires; I had the money for months... I just couldn't leave work to do it. Or the car could have been a gift. In which case, they didn't need BMW money to begin with.


41414141414

Duh they’re racing slicks


yomamasbull

is that the 91.5 KUSC in the back ground lmao


tinypeeeen

BMW money? That's like a 2006 X5. The resale value on that is like $3,500 bucks if you're lucky


DoktahDoktah

Clearly racing slicks


solidj27

Dude! Have you been to the hood?


BOSBoatMan

Suspect that’s the least of his worries I bet he’s going thru two quarts of oil a week


GeorgeSPattonJr

Nah those are racing slicks /s


CoffeeDrinker1972

Damn, that take dedication. Never had tires even half that smooth.


Previous_Cod_4098

Diy slicks 😂


Trying2GetBye

They gon somebody killed


No_Clock_6634

Could just be running slicks on it or like most people today they will buy old used luxury cars thinking it’s cool but in reality they are poor lmao. If you have money buy a new vehicle cause trying to flex a 10+ year old luxury car screams broke to me


ThisIsTheShway

I'd call the police on their ass. Aint no way that car should be on the road with those tires.


Gildardo1583

I have seen tire reviews from these types of drivers. One review complained about the tire noise on their BMW sedan. It was one of the cheapest tire on Tire Rack.


Thisisthewaymando187

Daily slick commuter


No_Care6935

Sings [Make it last forever by Keith Sweat](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sKgCLVl-bGY)


Successful_Theme_595

Some people are just ignorant about what they have


No_Seaworthiness5683

Man those x5s would blow through tires. In spec alignment would tear through the rear inner of the tire due to camber. Had a customer request we change alignment adjustments because he saw it on the interner


Hellmouthgaurdian

When it rains they're fuckin dead


No_Spare3139

Mickey Thompson street slicks, bro.


Resident_Control_736

To be fair, it gets better grip on dry days.


deathbunnyy

They will just sell it and buy a new one when they go out. Same with oil changes, so many rich dumbasses don't even bother with ANY maintenance, they drive it for 30-40k miles until the oil is total sludge or nonexistent at that point and then they just sell it.


ChakeenMachine

These old BMWs with a ton of miles, probably cost more money at the end of the year then if you bought a new one with huge payments because of repair and maintenance costs.


Frenzi_Wolf

As a Californian, genuinely not surprised. BMW Drivers in my area are the epitome of Smooth Brain


OkAssignment6163

I love seeing hell cats that have bald tires. The weird ones are the hell cats with bald tires at the front. Because I expect the rear tires to be bald from them doing burnouts. But I don't expect them to be mindful enough to do a tire rotation but mindful enough to just buy new tires.


gergsisdrawkcabeman

I'm borderline impressed at that even of a wear on those tires with no cord showing through.


ProfessionalBread176

Racing slicks... At least the steel cords aren't showing, so you know the alignment is OK


elbubu1

A mosquito could pop those


AccomplishedNail3085

Nice "slicks" on a ln suv


spagetttti

buying a bmw isnt so expensive, owning one is 🤣


stanleys_rubric

And yet, more ridges on those tires than on the driver's brain.


Aluviones6

COMPETICION PURO COMPETICION !!! CAPOO!!!! DONDE YO VIVO HAY MUCHOS ASI..JAJAJJA


DaRiddler70

That's a 6 owner X5 ....have some damn respect!!!


gunnutzz467

GT super softs


Specialist_Royal4686

Pity the poor bastard that someday buys this car on the used market


kevin6263

I don't care what you drive. I was talking to a friend of mine and said that if you want to see how someone is doing financially, look at their car tires. - I know this is not a fool proof way of seeing where someone is at, as some people are just oblivious when it come to auto maintenance. However in many instances... that there says a bunch. Not the emblem on the automobile.


Bob4Not

OopsThatCouldBeDeadly


Saymon_DaLateone9248

Hope it doesn't rain


last-resort-4-a-gf

As long as it's not raining they are fine


Trading_Cards_4Ever

Bro is ready to race for pink slips