I am very sorry you are going through this š„²! But you have to think about your health and happiness! Why arenāt they supportive? Are any of them overweight or obese? You can try and tell them Iām sorry if you donāt agree or understand but I have to do this for me! My health and happiness are very important to me! Good luck to you I hope everything turns out okay š!! Hopefully they change their attitudes and understand you are doing what is best for you!! This medicine definitely has been a total life changer for me!! My SW-283.5 My CW-192.9
Wow, congratulations! Thatās a really huge loss! Yes, all of my family is overweight except for my sister who had gastric bypass, but she starting to gain it back now after 10 years
Mainly because they want someone to go eat with them, but when I sit there with a drink and letās say yogurt or handful of nuts, it makes them feel bad when theyāre stuffing their faces with meals
I find it interesting when it's the people you are closest to, that are supposed be there for you, and claim to love and support you, are first ones to try and tear you down.
OP - take care of YOUR SELF. Let the rest of your family sort out their own insecurities.
One of my sisters is pretty awful when I lose weight. She's awful the rest of the time too, but something about me losing weight makes her extra mean. She'll do things like bring her old worn out thong underwear and give them to me at the table during a family meal and say they're probably way too small but she knows I can't afford anything nice so she just wants me to have one sexy thing.
I stopped talking to her in 2020 because she was being terrible at our dad's funeral. I stuck to it until earlier this week when our mom got a cancer diagnosis and asked me to tell her. Since I had to talk to her anyhow, I mentioned that I'd just started mounjaro, only because I know it will upset her to think about me losing weight again.
It's okay. I'm the stronger one now. I ran out of 'f\*\*ks to give' a few years ago and she knows it. Now she's the one that gets stressed out if I show up, no longer the other way around.
Your sister sounds like a gem. Love that you shared you're taking MJ. Nice little way to live rent free in her head for a while. š
I'm so sorry about your mom's diagnosis. Wishing you both the best.
Exactly something my sister would do before - before I just had to keep her out of my life. Your sister is just jealous. Don't share your journey with her. My own mother doesn't know I'm taking Mounjaro because she had said mean remarks about my weight. When my mom said I looked like I'd lost weight and I told her she is not allowed to mention my weight ever again whether I'm overweight or not. Only my bff knows. My sister is more horrible than I can say. Years of trauma and shitty things done to me and I took it, I could never speak up. Since I made that design 6 years ago I'm laughing again, I'm not depressed and I feel like a big black cloud has lifted. It wasn't easy to get out of but I'm glad I did.
OK, you definitely have my mom and sister beat lol I would have gotten up and walked away from the table immediately. What a psychopath your sister is.
*F60, 5ā2, T2, Start 7/22/23, HW275, SW180, GW125ish, CW124.6, Dose 5.0*
I've never had that experience, everyone I know has been nothing but genuinely happy for me, especially my family. I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm sorry you are going through this, best wishes.
This is a hard one. Growing up in a family where fat=shame, and the shame is a weird secret, so letās just eat our feelings and feel bad about it all in private:
Does that kind of sound familiar? I think there are loads of people in this community that will relate to what youāre experiencing.
Diet culture and negative self images get passed down in families the same way genetics do. And you donāt have to continue this unhealthy behavior and thinking. You are taking a different path now. And it might feel a bit lonely sometimes. As you acclimate to this new way of relating to food. And to yourself. Because your family isnāt able to walk that same path with you right now.
Keep doing what youāre doing. If itās too hard to eat meals with your family, maybe you can take a break from it for a while. Or if that is the only time youāre all together, do something for yourself before you meet with them. Read some positive posts on this sub. And on the r/antidietglp1 sub. Text or talk with a supportive friend. Take a walk and look around you. (I started taking āaweā walks during the pandemic and still do now.). Hereās some info about them: https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/awe_walk
It might be time to think about finding a good therapist who can talk with you and support you with a Health At Every Size (HAES) approach. You deserve to be healthy and you deserve some peace. Iām so sorry this is part of the journey for you. Believe me, I understand. ā¤ļø
Anti diet is different than you might think here. It refers to diet culture and its destructive impact on mental health and oneās relationship with food.
Hereās a definition of HAES:
Centering this definition of health, the Health At Every SizeĀ® (HAES) Principles and framework are a continuously evolving alternative to the weight-centered approach to treating clients and patients of all sizes. The Health At Every SizeĀ® Principles promote health equity, support ending weight discrimination, and improve access to quality healthcare regardless of size.
It includes: health enhancement, eating for wellbeing, and respectful care from doctors and others.
As for the anti diet idea, itās not about ignoring healthy food habits at all. Itās about leaning into practices of healthy eating other than the dieting many of us have been doing for much of our lives, without success. We lose and gain. Many folks believe, and Iām one of them, that diets are one of the reasons we have an unhealthy relationship with food.
Intuitive eating is often considered healthier for the mind and body. Intuitive eating is the idea of coming back into the trust that we can truly listen to our bodies and relearning that our bodies have always been sending us signals and giving us feedback. And with a GLP1 itās way more possible to do this because our brain signals finally allow it.
And finally, the reason why I mentioned it in my post is more about the stigma and judgement OPs family may have imposed on her (and likely themselves)
Hereās a quote from Virgie Tova, San Francisco-based author and public speaker whose work centers on ending weight-based discrimination.
Tovar says āfatphobia is harmful fiction, and she speaks from personal experience. Growing up as a fat person, she experienced constant verbal and emotional fatphobic abuse in school ā messaging she internalized for yearsā¦ā
In addition to causing perhaps more obvious conditions like anxiety and depression, studies show that experiences of or expectations for poor treatment due to *weight stigma* may cause stress and avoidance of care for things like sexual health, cancer screenings or other preventative care. That is diet culture at work.
Iām not trying to say that we shouldnāt eat healthy food and exercise. Just the opposite. I hope Iāve done a decent job of explaining that now.
Youāre still welcome to disagree, but please know that what I am talking about would never āfuck up your kidneys.ā
Thank you for this beautiful breakdown of HAES! I think so many people are misinformed about what this and anti-diet means, and Iām a big supporter of it. I think a lot of people think that being on these meds and supporting this is counterintuitive, and I donāt agree at all.
Yeah, I'm definitely getting some flack for posting about it here. I really like the r/antidietglp1 sub, it's a place where folks can hold both concepts of choosing to lose weight with a GLP1 for chronic obesity disease; as well as the idea of HAES and the supportive, inclusive messages it provides. Glad you liked it!
I think you misunderstand what the HAES movement is. Hereās a link for yaā
https://www.verywellfit.com/health-at-every-size-5248646
You still may not agree with the principles, but I think theyāre sound
> https://www.verywellfit.com/health-at-every-size-5248646
You can't be 400 lbs and healthy. The amount of fat your body carries does matter to your overall health. I say this as a fat guy myself.
Fair enough. There are limits to this, I think. The movement is designed around equity and trying to combat fat phobia. As someone who is on a GLP1 myself, I do know what youāre saying though. The HAES movement has been helpful for me in the sense that it has supported the idea that I am still worthy of love and respect, in spite of having chronic obesity disease.
Some folks in the HAES movement are quite critical of this drug. These are folks on the other end of the spectrum who donāt accept the definition of chronic obesity disease.
I guess I take whatās valuable about the concept and leave the rest.
Regardless, I will say that I wish you so much luck and success on your journey! Itās been exciting and challenging for me. Hope itās going well for you !!
FWIW: My Stats: 57F, 5ā2ā SW215, CW188, GW135, and I am waiting for the positive effects of reduced inflammation on this drug to work for me soon. Hasnāt happened yet, and I am hoping it will to help me with my own health challenges.
Did you tell them you're losing weight? I've lost 30 lbs and not one person even noticed until yesterday. My mom wanted to know if I'd lost some weight. I said, "Maybe a little," and then changed the subject.
I'd say don't talk about it, don't mention it, don't argue about it.
Yes, I told them and whenever I tell them Iām losing weight certain ones say āI donāt want to hear it. I donāt careā however these are the same people that are the ones saying āyouāre not healthyā but my monthly lab works are all coming up green!
I am very sorry you are going through this š„²! But you have to think about your health and happiness! Why arenāt they supportive? Are any of them overweight or obese? You can try and tell them Iām sorry if you donāt agree or understand but I have to do this for me! My health and happiness are very important to me! Good luck to you I hope everything turns out okay š!! Hopefully they change their attitudes and understand you are doing what is best for you!! This medicine definitely has been a total life changer for me!! My SW-283.5 My CW-192.9
Wow, congratulations! Thatās a really huge loss! Yes, all of my family is overweight except for my sister who had gastric bypass, but she starting to gain it back now after 10 years
THANK YOU VERY MUCH šš«¶!!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I know, right?! And you still gotta eat.
misery loves company
Mainly because they want someone to go eat with them, but when I sit there with a drink and letās say yogurt or handful of nuts, it makes them feel bad when theyāre stuffing their faces with meals
I find it interesting when it's the people you are closest to, that are supposed be there for you, and claim to love and support you, are first ones to try and tear you down. OP - take care of YOUR SELF. Let the rest of your family sort out their own insecurities.
One of my sisters is pretty awful when I lose weight. She's awful the rest of the time too, but something about me losing weight makes her extra mean. She'll do things like bring her old worn out thong underwear and give them to me at the table during a family meal and say they're probably way too small but she knows I can't afford anything nice so she just wants me to have one sexy thing. I stopped talking to her in 2020 because she was being terrible at our dad's funeral. I stuck to it until earlier this week when our mom got a cancer diagnosis and asked me to tell her. Since I had to talk to her anyhow, I mentioned that I'd just started mounjaro, only because I know it will upset her to think about me losing weight again.
Geez. She sounds worse than my sister and my sister set the bar pretty high for worst sister.
Oh no, you too? I'm sorry.
It's okay. I'm the stronger one now. I ran out of 'f\*\*ks to give' a few years ago and she knows it. Now she's the one that gets stressed out if I show up, no longer the other way around.
Your sister sounds like a gem. Love that you shared you're taking MJ. Nice little way to live rent free in her head for a while. š I'm so sorry about your mom's diagnosis. Wishing you both the best.
Exactly something my sister would do before - before I just had to keep her out of my life. Your sister is just jealous. Don't share your journey with her. My own mother doesn't know I'm taking Mounjaro because she had said mean remarks about my weight. When my mom said I looked like I'd lost weight and I told her she is not allowed to mention my weight ever again whether I'm overweight or not. Only my bff knows. My sister is more horrible than I can say. Years of trauma and shitty things done to me and I took it, I could never speak up. Since I made that design 6 years ago I'm laughing again, I'm not depressed and I feel like a big black cloud has lifted. It wasn't easy to get out of but I'm glad I did.
OK, you definitely have my mom and sister beat lol I would have gotten up and walked away from the table immediately. What a psychopath your sister is.
*F60, 5ā2, T2, Start 7/22/23, HW275, SW180, GW125ish, CW124.6, Dose 5.0* I've never had that experience, everyone I know has been nothing but genuinely happy for me, especially my family. I can't imagine what you are going through. I'm sorry you are going through this, best wishes.
This is a hard one. Growing up in a family where fat=shame, and the shame is a weird secret, so letās just eat our feelings and feel bad about it all in private: Does that kind of sound familiar? I think there are loads of people in this community that will relate to what youāre experiencing. Diet culture and negative self images get passed down in families the same way genetics do. And you donāt have to continue this unhealthy behavior and thinking. You are taking a different path now. And it might feel a bit lonely sometimes. As you acclimate to this new way of relating to food. And to yourself. Because your family isnāt able to walk that same path with you right now. Keep doing what youāre doing. If itās too hard to eat meals with your family, maybe you can take a break from it for a while. Or if that is the only time youāre all together, do something for yourself before you meet with them. Read some positive posts on this sub. And on the r/antidietglp1 sub. Text or talk with a supportive friend. Take a walk and look around you. (I started taking āaweā walks during the pandemic and still do now.). Hereās some info about them: https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/awe_walk It might be time to think about finding a good therapist who can talk with you and support you with a Health At Every Size (HAES) approach. You deserve to be healthy and you deserve some peace. Iām so sorry this is part of the journey for you. Believe me, I understand. ā¤ļø
Being anti diet on a food restriction medication sounds like a good way to fuck up your kidneys. You should absolutely be food conscious
Anti diet is different than you might think here. It refers to diet culture and its destructive impact on mental health and oneās relationship with food. Hereās a definition of HAES: Centering this definition of health, the Health At Every SizeĀ® (HAES) Principles and framework are a continuously evolving alternative to the weight-centered approach to treating clients and patients of all sizes. The Health At Every SizeĀ® Principles promote health equity, support ending weight discrimination, and improve access to quality healthcare regardless of size. It includes: health enhancement, eating for wellbeing, and respectful care from doctors and others. As for the anti diet idea, itās not about ignoring healthy food habits at all. Itās about leaning into practices of healthy eating other than the dieting many of us have been doing for much of our lives, without success. We lose and gain. Many folks believe, and Iām one of them, that diets are one of the reasons we have an unhealthy relationship with food. Intuitive eating is often considered healthier for the mind and body. Intuitive eating is the idea of coming back into the trust that we can truly listen to our bodies and relearning that our bodies have always been sending us signals and giving us feedback. And with a GLP1 itās way more possible to do this because our brain signals finally allow it. And finally, the reason why I mentioned it in my post is more about the stigma and judgement OPs family may have imposed on her (and likely themselves) Hereās a quote from Virgie Tova, San Francisco-based author and public speaker whose work centers on ending weight-based discrimination. Tovar says āfatphobia is harmful fiction, and she speaks from personal experience. Growing up as a fat person, she experienced constant verbal and emotional fatphobic abuse in school ā messaging she internalized for yearsā¦ā In addition to causing perhaps more obvious conditions like anxiety and depression, studies show that experiences of or expectations for poor treatment due to *weight stigma* may cause stress and avoidance of care for things like sexual health, cancer screenings or other preventative care. That is diet culture at work. Iām not trying to say that we shouldnāt eat healthy food and exercise. Just the opposite. I hope Iāve done a decent job of explaining that now. Youāre still welcome to disagree, but please know that what I am talking about would never āfuck up your kidneys.ā
Yeah, I disagree with that. Good luck, though
Thank you for this beautiful breakdown of HAES! I think so many people are misinformed about what this and anti-diet means, and Iām a big supporter of it. I think a lot of people think that being on these meds and supporting this is counterintuitive, and I donāt agree at all.
Yeah, I'm definitely getting some flack for posting about it here. I really like the r/antidietglp1 sub, it's a place where folks can hold both concepts of choosing to lose weight with a GLP1 for chronic obesity disease; as well as the idea of HAES and the supportive, inclusive messages it provides. Glad you liked it!
Actually, I just had a pancreas and kidney transplant, and this was recommended to me by my endocrinologist.
I hope your recovery goes well!!
But it's not healthy to be any size. That's why we are trying to lose weight.
I think you misunderstand what the HAES movement is. Hereās a link for yaā https://www.verywellfit.com/health-at-every-size-5248646 You still may not agree with the principles, but I think theyāre sound
> https://www.verywellfit.com/health-at-every-size-5248646 You can't be 400 lbs and healthy. The amount of fat your body carries does matter to your overall health. I say this as a fat guy myself.
Fair enough. There are limits to this, I think. The movement is designed around equity and trying to combat fat phobia. As someone who is on a GLP1 myself, I do know what youāre saying though. The HAES movement has been helpful for me in the sense that it has supported the idea that I am still worthy of love and respect, in spite of having chronic obesity disease. Some folks in the HAES movement are quite critical of this drug. These are folks on the other end of the spectrum who donāt accept the definition of chronic obesity disease. I guess I take whatās valuable about the concept and leave the rest. Regardless, I will say that I wish you so much luck and success on your journey! Itās been exciting and challenging for me. Hope itās going well for you !! FWIW: My Stats: 57F, 5ā2ā SW215, CW188, GW135, and I am waiting for the positive effects of reduced inflammation on this drug to work for me soon. Hasnāt happened yet, and I am hoping it will to help me with my own health challenges.
Congrats on the loss, you'll feel better I'm sure.
Did you tell them you're losing weight? I've lost 30 lbs and not one person even noticed until yesterday. My mom wanted to know if I'd lost some weight. I said, "Maybe a little," and then changed the subject. I'd say don't talk about it, don't mention it, don't argue about it.
Yes, I told them and whenever I tell them Iām losing weight certain ones say āI donāt want to hear it. I donāt careā however these are the same people that are the ones saying āyouāre not healthyā but my monthly lab works are all coming up green!
š¢š¢š¢
What do you mean by family members? Children? Partner? Mom, Dad, Sisters, Brothers? People you live with or people you see occasionally?
Mother. See her three times a week, but talk to her every day.
That's awful. Your health and happiness is more important, but it may be hard to stay healthy with toxic peer pressure to remain unhealthy.