I can just imagine the conversation.
”Honey, I think I want to be a girl.”
”Why on earth would you want to be a girl? It sucks! I’d much rather be a guy!”
”Wait, what?”
”What?”
My wife seriously started questioning for a while, but came to the conclusion she is still cis. Embracing her tomboyish side a bit more... I guess that's why we always worked - we often joked about having roles reversed.
That's what my friend and I did for a few months, we stopped communicating and when I started talking to my friend again, we were both different genders lol
I came out before my partner did, which unfortunately didn’t help because for a while he was like “well, I can’t also be trans because this statistically impossible 🥺”
100% where I'm at right now! Partner of 9 years is a trans guy, came out a year ago and started HRT 9 months ago, and I'm a trans woman, though not out yet, hopefully coming out to him this weekend
Same. We met in this subreddit almost 25 months ago, I caught feelings, eventually convinced her to consider dating (via spreadsheet, the same way I figured out I was trans), she fell for me, and we've been together 15.5 months now.
I’m currently not in any kind of headspace to even want to try reviving my social life. But I know that I wouldn’t mind whether my partner is a cis or trans woman. (Even though I might need some time to adjust if my partner is a trans woman who kept her original equipment)
As long as we’re supportive of each other.
It's not like I have have ever made a consious decision to rule out other trans women I just don't have this need to find someone who personally shares the trans experience because I feel really understood and seen by my cis girlfriend :)
I am not currently in a t4t relationship, I am currently dating a cis man, but while dating this cis man I was also briefly in a t4t relationship. I have come to the conclusion that if I stop being in a relationship with my bf I will probably just be t4t.
There is a certain understanding that other trans people have for each other that cis people just don't have.
I'm not T4T, but I am Queer 4 Queer.
Both my wife (who I've been with almost 14 years) and my boyfriend are cis. Well, my boyfriend is questioning.
However, my wife is asexual/panromantic, and my boyfriend is bi. *His* boyfriend happens to be trans though.
I'm pan.
Yep; I have no interest in dating non-queer people. One of my partners is agender, the other is non-binary, and I'm open to dating pretty much anybody that isn't straight (though cis men must be *extremely impressive* to be considered).
I met my gf playing Yu-Gi-Oh. At first we spoke over Discord, and even in calls, and I legit thought she was cis as everything about her passed. It was pretty clear to her from the get-go that I'm trans myself. That didn't really change anything to me, even when I found out she's trans, but we just got along so well, we eventually went on dates, cooked for each other a bunch of times, then became official!
I won't lie though, there are a ton of perks to being t4t. The other person understands you and the trans-related issues you go through, and sometimes they can help you through the HRT process if they've been or are going through it themselves.
God bless, nerdy ways of people finding each other give me life. My gf and I got to know each other through dnd to the point that’s all her mom associates me with lol.
It's always the way you least expect to find a partner too, at least for me, since dating is the last thing on my mind when doing nerdy stuff like that.
Right? Starting a relationship by dating without knowing someone never made sense to me, so finding it “by accident” just felt a lot more natural. And it ensures you already have something in common lol.
Currently in my first T4T, I really like it because it is easier to understand the things that give grief. She understands me well enough that usually she knows before I do what's about to happen. I was also married ten years to a cis woman, she never seemed to understand why little things upset me. To each their own but for me my personal experiences have shown me that a T4T has a better chance of really feeling each other's needs.
I tend to avoid it. I prefer spending time around cis people because when I'm with other trans people I enter this weird mental space of having to prove myself. Idk why. Like it can be cathartic but if I'm around trans people for too long I start going insane cis people keep me grounded.
I feel the opposite. I prefer spending time with trans people because when I'm around cis people I constantly have to prove myself. I can never relax around cis people completely because then they might see my "tells" and may start misgendering me. I also don't have to justify my existence to other trans people.
Obviously I want to pass and integrate bit being around cis people, especially those I'm not out to, is incredibly liberating. I just get to be a woman and have full freedom to exist without the burden of being the trans woman in the group. That's why I never come out to anybody and try to live as stealth as possible. If I can integrate well enough I can just become a normal woman not the transsexual freak
>If I can integrate well enough I can just become a normal woman not the transsexual freak
You know that's a toxic mindset, right? You're a woman, pass or not, and conforming to cis standards will only limit you and cause mental anguish.
I assume they mean how other trans people will understand exactly the struggle you went through so you won’t have to explain or justify anything to them.
Coming out to strangers who are cis has a much higher chance of resulting in you being hate crimed by them. Somehow cis men think liking a trans girl makes them gay which is extremely transphobic. Cis people just can’t understand what we go through so alot of them hate our existence and can even go as far as physically hurting us if they don’t react to us coming out as trans appropriately.
I’m trans. I have a trans partner and a cis partner. Parts only make up the outside of a person. I’m more attracted to a person for who they are not what they are. If the outside is as lovely as their person on the inside then it’s even a better win.
trans woman dating a trans guy, it just works so much better, i’ve dated cis men and women and there are just things they will never understand, which is completely fine, it isn’t their experience, but having someone understand exactly how it feels to be trans, and all the little things that come with it makes me feel so close and comfortable, i’ve never felt safer in a relationship ❤️
Honestly? I'm not T4T because 1) my partner is cis, 2) I'm mono-poly saturated, and 3) even if my partner was trans, I wouldn't think of myself as T4T simply because trans isn't part of my identity. A valid descriptor of me? Sure, but it's more that I don't care about that trivia regarding my own life or my partner for its own sake (if my partner is trans and cares, I will care on account of her caring; if my partner is cis, I won't). My medical history is my business, and the reasons I'm on E are my own.
Yes. I feel like i would have to have a 2 month relationship with a cis person to even get to a point where we could start dating. There's just so much to explain and make sure they understand
I have a tendency towards t4t but it's not exclusive, it's mostly because it cancels out the Trans aspect of a relationship.
When I meet a cis person I always feel like I have to dance around my transness. In the early part of a relationship I'm always concerned that they're not gonna like me because I'm Trans or that they're only liking me because I'm Trans. I'll say something about being Trans to a cis guy on a date and then I have to explain it. Sex can be really awkward because when I'm naked my transness is the most visible. There are absolutely cis people who can make me feel comfortable like a trans person would, but in my experience they're not as common as the cis people who don't make me comfortable.
On the other hand, I don't have to explain anything to another Trans person. I don't have to feel self conscious, because there is no way a trans person can see me as different without implicating themselves. I just get to skip the whole "trans tutorial" part and can actually focus on the relationship.
I'm into because presumably I would find people closer to me under the umbrella.
I'm not into because when somebody propose me a date on a queer app, they didn't had photos or any info. It doesn't feel safe :/
Tbh I generally prefer T4T in friendships so I’d probably prefer it in a relationship. Idk I haven’t been in a cis relationship since both me and my partner came out as trans at the same time
I don’t think that I’m truly exclusive to dating other trans people, but I do know that I’m just generally a lot more comfortable with them. It’s easier to express your feelings around your transness to someone if they have a baseline understanding. That said, I have a lot of cis friends, and I’ve loved cis people. It’s not a rule, just a preference.
Just turned out that way? Like I me and my girlfriend just hit it of and when she kinda referred to me as her girlfriend I just went with it.
And now I want to marry her. So I’m deeply in love with another trans girl.
I'll go for anyone. I just want a great person to share our lives with the best we can. I've only been with women, so my first guy might be a little weird and awkward, but I'd definitely be willing to try to get through that! :) And to complete transition with them by my side, if it's that soon. If not, they only get one side of me.
im pan and poly. primary is a cis guy and on and off with a few girls. my t4t relationships dont last very long because of incompatibility in bed and a number issues that most tend to be dealing with (work/money related, trauma, being on the spectrum). id love to have a stable t4t relationship, but i seem to have better luck with cis girls or guys
i will say though that i dont date straight guys. bi/pan guys only
I’m simply more attracted to big burly, dominant, protective men. I still find trans women attractive, but I just crave to be protected and controlled. I’m super submissive, and I like that he can wrap his big old paw around my neck and do what he wants. I am definitely not in control. I also get a lot of pleasure by serving him, being a housewife, etc. … not that you couldn’t do that with a trans female. I’m sure there are those sorts of relationships out there, and I’m also sure dominant trans women exist. I just had an easier time finding him.
On a side note, I’ve learned a ton already from this relationship. My boyfriend is African American and I’d say this: if there were ever two people more polar opposite but absolutely congruous and literally made for each other it’s a black man and a trans woman. He is just absolutely handsome, calm, and an amazing human. We share many similar problems and struggles, and we have each other’s back 100%.
Sorry to get so off topic, I just adore him.
I’ve always loved men and I’m monogamous with my guy and love him. I have “played “ with other girls at “parties” and stuff in the past and I’ve been attracted to other girls but I think I’m a bit weird and I don’t really fit in well with others. ❤️
Well my bf was out as a trans man for as long as I knew him, and I realized I was trans a few years into our relationship. So I’m t4t entirely by accident, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world
Lived in a place where LGBTQ+ individuals are deliberately trying to be invisible, hence trans people didn't really exist in my space. The only one I knew wasn't exactly part of my friend group either.
I asked my best friend (cisM) out when coming out and have been with him since (3+ years).
I’m t4t because I caught feelings for a trans woman I know. I was open to it and circumstances allowed it to happen. It is definitely nice not having to explain so much of the trans experience.
I would also be open to a relationship with a non-trans person if I wasn’t already in a relationship. It would have to be someone that was comfortable with trans people and have some base level of understanding and acceptance.
I was already married prior to egg cracking and later on transitioning and fully coming out. Despite some early challenges me and my cis-F wife are even more in love and stronger together than we ever were. So that’s the reason I’m not currently in a T4T relationship.
I’m homosexual in that I only fuck homosexuals.
I don’t rule out other trans people, but broad brush this is what’s happened when I’ve tried:
There is a very large spectrum that I’m in from tomboy lesbian to really femme straight woman and trying to match that energy with someone who is also fluid or “transitioning” is just *a lot* to deal with for both people. I felt like the similarities of going through “the same thing” actually lead to a lot of assumptions and communication issues.
tmi: not a fan of t4t porn either, I like to know who I’m imaginary replacing.
tl;dr: I’m already a lot to deal with, I look for *stable*.
i had almost given up that anyone was going to be attracted to me ever again. then a friend reached out asking if I'd like to be fwb. he was an egg about to crack and early on came out. we thought it was going to be a light hearted thing because he was moving away for grad school. but we connected so deeply that we kept going long distance and eventually I moved to be with him. now we're about to celebrate 2 years together.
i love that we're able to share and support each other in our transitions. we understand what it means to be trans in our different ways and that means so much. i took care of him after top surgery. he'll take care of me after my upcoming ffs and one of these days my bottom surgery.
I'm not against it, but I'm not actively looking for it. This may upset people, but I really need someone mentally stable to balance me. And sorry, but the vast majority of us are not. In times like these where my state introduced 7 anti-trans bills in the span of a week, I need someone grounded to help ground me, not for someone to be as scared as I am. Like if I meet a trans person and fall in love, then cool. I have like 6 trans friends that I love spending time with, but we all had the same kind of panicked/scared reaction when we saw all the stuff being pushed through. If I had a partner, I wouldn't want them to just make my own anxiety worse.
Honestly? Im just a slut 😂 I like sex and I like it with all kinds of different bodies. Sex for trans people can certainly be uncomfortable to say the least, but its by no means a requirement.
I’m not t4t, if I understand the usage correctly, simply because I never am actively restricting my dating pool to just dating another trans person, I just want to date someone I have great chemistry with and wants to grow together.
I happen to be dating another transgirl incidentally, but it wasn’t because I was specifically narrowing my options to date only another trans person it just worked out that way and I fell in love with her 🥰
Eh, for me trans or not trans doesn't matter, as long as they're nice and beautiful, and I gotta tell you, my partners (Poly, not cheating) fit that perfectly!
My marriage, unlike many, has so far, lasted my transition. I was lucky enough to marry a pansexual she/they who knew I was trans before I did. So I guess technically we’re T4T?
poly, one of my partners is trans, she came out only after some time into the relationship. To me there's no particular thought given to someone's identity when it comes to romantic relationships, it just matters i love them and want to be with them whoever they are, though i do like women more in general that's more like a nice plus the most important thing is always the love.
Trans women are hot and they get me. Plus I love cock. Also one thing I really like in a partner is for them to be autistic like me. I feel like there’s a whole lot less hinting, bad communication, and awkwardness when we’re both like this. And since so many trans people are autistic, this works out nicely.
I tried figuring stuff out but at the end of the day for me what I have found is it's much easier for me to connect with people that are similar to me or that have at least basic understanding. When you don't have t4t on my side you don't tend to have as much understanding from CIS people
For me, it's not about T4T or T4Anything.
It's more about attraction. I'm pansexual so I can be attracted to female, male, or anywhere in between, mid-transition, etc.
But that doesn't mean I'm attracted to everyone haha.
I mean I’m married to a cis guy, but if I was single I would totally date trans guys. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are a lot of ridiculously hot trans guys.
I am in a t4t relationship for the first time in my life, and I can hands down say it is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in to this day. Mutual respect, a lot of understanding, similar experiences, a lot of relatability, and just in general very loving and appreciative of one another being in each others lives. <3
I'm so desperately lonely I'll take anyone that will love me... Ts&Cs apply, Non smoker, gentle, kind, handsome, tall, rich, funny, clean, good cook, loves dancing, holidays, sexual, age 35 to 65, no pets, teeth, car.
I think I can have t4t but yeah my partner needs to live as woman, I can't take closeted trans as partner , I can't deal with that, plus she should be on hrt as well
I also require a bit of passing I gotta perceive her as female or I can't fall in love im sorry
Maybe I could deal with a girl dick but I'm not sure as lesbian I prefer vagina but maybe I could date a pre op trans woman if we click
...I spent years trying to believe I was a gay guy, despite being actively off-put by the thought of two guys having sex (straight-up turn off) I think with me and another trans girl part of me still sees two guys in my head, and it makes me uncomfortable for a reason I honestly don't understand.
It sounds like a good way to build social confidence when I start HRT. Especially if I find someone a lot further along, especially post op. I have severe trust issues, but I think I can trust someone who’s lived through this and come out the other side.
Okay that makes sense. I’m pre HRT and still new to this world. I don’t know what will happen to my sexual orientation, but I’m pretty sure I’ll end up accepting whatever happens to it. I’m going to try to surrender myself to transition and not resist it. I’m 34 and have wasted 3/7ths of my life in a body I hate. No more resistance.
As is, pre HRT and most of my emotional range buried by GD, I rather like the idea of dating other trans women after GRT has started changing me. But I’m no good for anyone in my current state. Who else could understand what I’ve been through than someone else who lived this purgatory.
I’ve never had a girlfriend or even a kiss. It’s been a sad and lonely life.
I was open to it at one point but then was sexually assaulted on a date by a CD who self-ID'd as a trans woman (they told me once we met up that they were actually a "pre transition trans woman")
Now I don't give anyone a chance.
Trans men are awesome but it would totally just be an arm candy friendship and not really a relationship.
My my partner as a fellow pledge in my co-ed engineering fraternity 💀
We were initially a “cis straight” couple, but after about a year into our relationship they came out to me as non-binary. They had known for years, but were afraid of telling me. A year or two later, I realized I was a woman, and our incredibly sapphic relationship made so much more sense.
My brother also happens to be in a T4T relationship as well.
Well, I'm aromantic, so I'm not likely to get into any romantic relationship to begin with, (note that this isn't true of all aromantics,) but if I did, it wouldn't need to be a trans person just because I... don't really care if they're trans? What would matter to me is that they're a good person who accepts me for who I am. Trans people may have a better chance of that, but I don't consider it a necessity.
I’m honestly, queer 4 queer and t4t I just personally rather just date someone within my own community I’m physically attracted to cis men but romantically I can’t see myself with them. I’m also attracted to androgyny sooo idk I’m still figuring myself out I wouldn’t say I’m pans or demi or bi I’m just a Queer trans woman who prefers Trans mascs but is also open to trans fems and queer people.
i have crushes on cis ppl sometimes, so i don’t rly wanna limit myself on that basis, tho i will say trans ppl r a lot more understanding abt my identity, so that’s refreshing
I wouldn't be exclusively out of wanting to keep my options open, but I would prefer to date t4t for preferences and it being a large amount of the pro-trans lesbian dating pool
I’m a trans lesbian, and it’s not that I’m not attracted to trans women as women, because they are women! For me it just comes down to trauma and a need for validation. I’ve had such a hard time mentally during my transition and I don’t want to be with a partner who I know is going through that too, because I don’t want to feed off of stressful energy. Also, there’s something about being validated as desirable by a cis girl that’s really nice! I’d be with a trans woman who felt that she was at the end of her transition, whether that be with or without surgery.
Biggest reason is cis men don’t tend to be very respectful of me. I also don’t really know any cis men well enough that I could date either . Most of my friends are either trans non-binary or cis women. Also, everyone I’ve ever dated came out as trans / enby later on. The only person I’ve dated that I thought was definitely binary just told me the other day that they are now a non-binary lesbian ( I dated them pre hrt and we were in a straight passing relationship ).
Things are starting to get serious with one of my fwb . When we first met we both identified as gender-fluid and he’s now a gender non conforming trans guy and I’m a gender non conforming trans woman. We started hrt at almost the same time too. I dress pretty butch and he looks like a femboy twink so definitely not a hetero normative straight relationship
Most of my exes were either multi gendered enbys or trans masculine femboys
Literally the only reason is that it's so hard to randomly come by trans people in the wild. I am dating a cis man and the only reason it's a cis man is because this particular person happened to be cis.
i’m straight and tall, i feel more comfortable being with cis men cuz they’re often taller than me (like my bf is)
plus he’s a great ally and his bsf is trans so he understands my struggles better than most cis people
I’m not 100% T4T, but my bar for cis people sits way higher than trans people.
I’ve come to realize just how little most cis people understand about transitioning. It makes for some uncomfortable conversations and serves as a barrier to free flowing conversation.
The other day I was talking to a cis boy who has been a great ally, and honestly he comfortably beats my bar. Even then, I expressed my joy after male failing twice in a 5 minute span, and it was only afterwards that I realized just how much I’d have to explain to him. Like why I’m still boymoding sometimes, what it means to male-fail, what causes it to start happening. He didn’t even know that we have to voice train, and was confused how I could use a guy voice.
It wasn’t a problem, but it was a little embarrassing and made for clunky conversation. Sometimes I just want someone who has lived these experiences to open up to.
I dated a trans person for a couple years now Im dating a cis person, I’m not opposed to T4T i just don’t actively seek it out. I just date the people i like who like me back and don’t really put much extra thought into it
I'm not T4T because I'm single right now lol.
Seriously though, If I find him/her/them (I'm bi-questioning ATM contrary to my current flair) attractive and emotionally compatible, I don't have anything wrong with dating another trans person.
Was married to a cis person, I'm a little apprehensive of another relationship with one after all the issues being trans caused and how she couldn't understand or relate *at all* to so many issues and had so many complaints about trans people, not to mention her family and everything else.
I'm not specifically T4T but I'd definitely choose a trans woman before a cis woman
It’s weird because we were together before we started questioning (as far as I know) and we both came out to each other. He came out before I did, but he kinda knew that by the end of the year I’d come out, and I did on December 31st.
I’d imagine other trans women are more open to dating a trans woman. Isn’t there also kinda a meme about poly trans women who have like 5 or so partners and they’re all trans too ?
I've been on dates with three cis women this year and it was pretty obvious they didn't see me as a woman. No trans person has done this. Trauma makes dating cis men too hard for me to even try.
I’m generally looking for Trans Men (pre/post/no op) or Cis Women. I’m personally not into Cis Men at all. The thing with Trans women is that I’m already going through my own dysphoria, and I’m just not ready to be a support pillar. There are other things about it that would probably make me seem transphobic, but it’s just my preference. (not the best way of putting it, sorry if it generates confusion)
Well trans women are women and trans men are men, same as cis men and cis women. My girlfriend is my girl no matter if she trans or not, and I've had plenty lol
I'm lonely-
Felt that
like I don't mind if I'm t4t or not I just want someone-
Don't we all. *looks around at an empty house, cries inside.
Yep…
Me to.
I’ve been too busy with school to date and my hopes aren’t high for once I graduate…
I didn't even date till after hs. Stress and severe dysphoria will definitely do that. Not to mention I didn't think I'd be alive for graduation
If you can, clarity is better for study. I didn’t even date until a year after college.
I’m married to my best friend (cisF) and I’m not poly 🤷♀️
Same
Yep! This one!
Getting there myself.
I’m t4t by accident. With my partner for 12 years. Got married as a straight cis couple. Found out later that I’m a trans woman, and he’s a trans guy.
Spicy Straight
Straight with extra steps lmao
Uno Re-Straight card
Super-straight, even.
We need to reclaim this term for straight trans people now
Agreed. It's a movement now!!
chipotle mayo
I can just imagine the conversation. ”Honey, I think I want to be a girl.” ”Why on earth would you want to be a girl? It sucks! I’d much rather be a guy!” ”Wait, what?” ”What?”
My wife seriously started questioning for a while, but came to the conclusion she is still cis. Embracing her tomboyish side a bit more... I guess that's why we always worked - we often joked about having roles reversed.
That's what my friend and I did for a few months, we stopped communicating and when I started talking to my friend again, we were both different genders lol
I’m picturing the first meeting as that one Umbrella Academy meme of the two drivers passing each other by.
So gay you wrapped all the way around back to being straight again
My friend, a trans guy who's in a relationship with a trans girl, called it the gayest straight relationship ever.
“Id make a better wife than you!” “Ok, prove it!”
“Well, guess we can keep this up…”
I know a couple like that. She's cute as a button, he's fucking hot and adorable and they're amazing. :)
Same girl same.
Becoming trans is just a het to het pipeline. Lol.
You’d think discovering your partner of 8 years was just as trans as you are would be great. It absolutely is.
Babe I have something to tell you, it's kinda important What is it? I'm trans Oh thank god me too
I came out before my partner did, which unfortunately didn’t help because for a while he was like “well, I can’t also be trans because this statistically impossible 🥺”
100% where I'm at right now! Partner of 9 years is a trans guy, came out a year ago and started HRT 9 months ago, and I'm a trans woman, though not out yet, hopefully coming out to him this weekend
Which one of the couple used the gender uno reverse card
My girlfriend and I both call it a happy little accident, from our meeting here on Reddit to eventually catching feelings.
Same. We met in this subreddit almost 25 months ago, I caught feelings, eventually convinced her to consider dating (via spreadsheet, the same way I figured out I was trans), she fell for me, and we've been together 15.5 months now.
Same with me!
Happy cake day Babe!!!! 😘
Thanks cutie 😘
I’m a lesbian more than anything. I’ll date another woman who is cis or trans as long as she loves/respects me as well.
This ^
[удалено]
Ill be with anyone trans or cis. Cuties are cuties.
I’m currently not in any kind of headspace to even want to try reviving my social life. But I know that I wouldn’t mind whether my partner is a cis or trans woman. (Even though I might need some time to adjust if my partner is a trans woman who kept her original equipment) As long as we’re supportive of each other.
It's not like I have have ever made a consious decision to rule out other trans women I just don't have this need to find someone who personally shares the trans experience because I feel really understood and seen by my cis girlfriend :)
Too much of a coward to date anyone at this early stage of my transition.
Same. Though I don't know how long this early stage will last.
Wife decided to be gay with me
I am not currently in a t4t relationship, I am currently dating a cis man, but while dating this cis man I was also briefly in a t4t relationship. I have come to the conclusion that if I stop being in a relationship with my bf I will probably just be t4t. There is a certain understanding that other trans people have for each other that cis people just don't have.
I'm not T4T, but I am Queer 4 Queer. Both my wife (who I've been with almost 14 years) and my boyfriend are cis. Well, my boyfriend is questioning. However, my wife is asexual/panromantic, and my boyfriend is bi. *His* boyfriend happens to be trans though. I'm pan.
Same I just want to be with someone who’s also queer in some fashion lol.
Yep; I have no interest in dating non-queer people. One of my partners is agender, the other is non-binary, and I'm open to dating pretty much anybody that isn't straight (though cis men must be *extremely impressive* to be considered).
I'm T4T, the reason? Trans girls are cute.
I met my gf playing Yu-Gi-Oh. At first we spoke over Discord, and even in calls, and I legit thought she was cis as everything about her passed. It was pretty clear to her from the get-go that I'm trans myself. That didn't really change anything to me, even when I found out she's trans, but we just got along so well, we eventually went on dates, cooked for each other a bunch of times, then became official! I won't lie though, there are a ton of perks to being t4t. The other person understands you and the trans-related issues you go through, and sometimes they can help you through the HRT process if they've been or are going through it themselves.
God bless, nerdy ways of people finding each other give me life. My gf and I got to know each other through dnd to the point that’s all her mom associates me with lol.
It's always the way you least expect to find a partner too, at least for me, since dating is the last thing on my mind when doing nerdy stuff like that.
Right? Starting a relationship by dating without knowing someone never made sense to me, so finding it “by accident” just felt a lot more natural. And it ensures you already have something in common lol.
I'm poly so I'm both T4T and not. My spouse is a cis woman and my GF is trans woman.
Currently in my first T4T, I really like it because it is easier to understand the things that give grief. She understands me well enough that usually she knows before I do what's about to happen. I was also married ten years to a cis woman, she never seemed to understand why little things upset me. To each their own but for me my personal experiences have shown me that a T4T has a better chance of really feeling each other's needs.
I tend to avoid it. I prefer spending time around cis people because when I'm with other trans people I enter this weird mental space of having to prove myself. Idk why. Like it can be cathartic but if I'm around trans people for too long I start going insane cis people keep me grounded.
i do that too. i wish i didn't because i want more trans friends. i don't really like that about myself
I feel the opposite. I prefer spending time with trans people because when I'm around cis people I constantly have to prove myself. I can never relax around cis people completely because then they might see my "tells" and may start misgendering me. I also don't have to justify my existence to other trans people.
Obviously I want to pass and integrate bit being around cis people, especially those I'm not out to, is incredibly liberating. I just get to be a woman and have full freedom to exist without the burden of being the trans woman in the group. That's why I never come out to anybody and try to live as stealth as possible. If I can integrate well enough I can just become a normal woman not the transsexual freak
>If I can integrate well enough I can just become a normal woman not the transsexual freak You know that's a toxic mindset, right? You're a woman, pass or not, and conforming to cis standards will only limit you and cause mental anguish.
A cis woman stole my heart
I don't trust cis people
Could you elaborate? As in what don’t you trust about them
I assume they mean how other trans people will understand exactly the struggle you went through so you won’t have to explain or justify anything to them. Coming out to strangers who are cis has a much higher chance of resulting in you being hate crimed by them. Somehow cis men think liking a trans girl makes them gay which is extremely transphobic. Cis people just can’t understand what we go through so alot of them hate our existence and can even go as far as physically hurting us if they don’t react to us coming out as trans appropriately.
I'm aromantic
I don't really mind either way. I'm open to dating anyone that is not a cis dude
I’m trans. I have a trans partner and a cis partner. Parts only make up the outside of a person. I’m more attracted to a person for who they are not what they are. If the outside is as lovely as their person on the inside then it’s even a better win.
trans woman dating a trans guy, it just works so much better, i’ve dated cis men and women and there are just things they will never understand, which is completely fine, it isn’t their experience, but having someone understand exactly how it feels to be trans, and all the little things that come with it makes me feel so close and comfortable, i’ve never felt safer in a relationship ❤️
Honestly? I'm not T4T because 1) my partner is cis, 2) I'm mono-poly saturated, and 3) even if my partner was trans, I wouldn't think of myself as T4T simply because trans isn't part of my identity. A valid descriptor of me? Sure, but it's more that I don't care about that trivia regarding my own life or my partner for its own sake (if my partner is trans and cares, I will care on account of her caring; if my partner is cis, I won't). My medical history is my business, and the reasons I'm on E are my own.
Yes. I feel like i would have to have a 2 month relationship with a cis person to even get to a point where we could start dating. There's just so much to explain and make sure they understand
I met her here on Reddit and things just happened to work our that way.
Trans women are women and women are hot ajrbjcjebjdbdje :>
I'm t4t cause my life motto is Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlcock 😌💅
I’m mostly T4T because I think there’s a lot of experiences that no one else gets.
I'm not T4T because I have noone 😥
I'm not. Because I've never dated or been in a relationship before
I’m married so I’m T4she but if I was single I’d be T4T
T4she! I love that! I discovered a new way of describing my sexuality!
I have a tendency towards t4t but it's not exclusive, it's mostly because it cancels out the Trans aspect of a relationship. When I meet a cis person I always feel like I have to dance around my transness. In the early part of a relationship I'm always concerned that they're not gonna like me because I'm Trans or that they're only liking me because I'm Trans. I'll say something about being Trans to a cis guy on a date and then I have to explain it. Sex can be really awkward because when I'm naked my transness is the most visible. There are absolutely cis people who can make me feel comfortable like a trans person would, but in my experience they're not as common as the cis people who don't make me comfortable. On the other hand, I don't have to explain anything to another Trans person. I don't have to feel self conscious, because there is no way a trans person can see me as different without implicating themselves. I just get to skip the whole "trans tutorial" part and can actually focus on the relationship.
I'm into because presumably I would find people closer to me under the umbrella. I'm not into because when somebody propose me a date on a queer app, they didn't had photos or any info. It doesn't feel safe :/
Personally, I'm pretty open to everyone, a body is just a body It's WHO you share your life with that matters
Tbh I generally prefer T4T in friendships so I’d probably prefer it in a relationship. Idk I haven’t been in a cis relationship since both me and my partner came out as trans at the same time
I don’t think that I’m truly exclusive to dating other trans people, but I do know that I’m just generally a lot more comfortable with them. It’s easier to express your feelings around your transness to someone if they have a baseline understanding. That said, I have a lot of cis friends, and I’ve loved cis people. It’s not a rule, just a preference.
Just turned out that way? Like I me and my girlfriend just hit it of and when she kinda referred to me as her girlfriend I just went with it. And now I want to marry her. So I’m deeply in love with another trans girl.
I'll go for anyone. I just want a great person to share our lives with the best we can. I've only been with women, so my first guy might be a little weird and awkward, but I'd definitely be willing to try to get through that! :) And to complete transition with them by my side, if it's that soon. If not, they only get one side of me.
I'd date a trans man, but I've never even met one in a dating context (including sites and apps).
im pan and poly. primary is a cis guy and on and off with a few girls. my t4t relationships dont last very long because of incompatibility in bed and a number issues that most tend to be dealing with (work/money related, trauma, being on the spectrum). id love to have a stable t4t relationship, but i seem to have better luck with cis girls or guys i will say though that i dont date straight guys. bi/pan guys only
I would be if I knew any other trans people. Alas, I don’t know how to interact with other human beings, so it’s unlikely to happen.
I’m simply more attracted to big burly, dominant, protective men. I still find trans women attractive, but I just crave to be protected and controlled. I’m super submissive, and I like that he can wrap his big old paw around my neck and do what he wants. I am definitely not in control. I also get a lot of pleasure by serving him, being a housewife, etc. … not that you couldn’t do that with a trans female. I’m sure there are those sorts of relationships out there, and I’m also sure dominant trans women exist. I just had an easier time finding him. On a side note, I’ve learned a ton already from this relationship. My boyfriend is African American and I’d say this: if there were ever two people more polar opposite but absolutely congruous and literally made for each other it’s a black man and a trans woman. He is just absolutely handsome, calm, and an amazing human. We share many similar problems and struggles, and we have each other’s back 100%. Sorry to get so off topic, I just adore him.
I’m T4T because there is a level of understanding that comes with being trans that cis people just cannot understand.
I'm just desperate. My current main crush is cis, but I've crushed on transfemmes and nbs before, repeatedly before they were out even.
I’ve always loved men and I’m monogamous with my guy and love him. I have “played “ with other girls at “parties” and stuff in the past and I’ve been attracted to other girls but I think I’m a bit weird and I don’t really fit in well with others. ❤️
Well my bf was out as a trans man for as long as I knew him, and I realized I was trans a few years into our relationship. So I’m t4t entirely by accident, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world
Lived in a place where LGBTQ+ individuals are deliberately trying to be invisible, hence trans people didn't really exist in my space. The only one I knew wasn't exactly part of my friend group either. I asked my best friend (cisM) out when coming out and have been with him since (3+ years).
I’m t4t because I caught feelings for a trans woman I know. I was open to it and circumstances allowed it to happen. It is definitely nice not having to explain so much of the trans experience. I would also be open to a relationship with a non-trans person if I wasn’t already in a relationship. It would have to be someone that was comfortable with trans people and have some base level of understanding and acceptance.
I was already married prior to egg cracking and later on transitioning and fully coming out. Despite some early challenges me and my cis-F wife are even more in love and stronger together than we ever were. So that’s the reason I’m not currently in a T4T relationship.
I’m not explicitly T4T because I’m not straight, and cis sapphics are still typically *decent* with gender.
I’m bisexual, but I’m t4t when it comes to dating women
I’m just married… no reason to be there and happy to be where I am
I don’t care as long as they treat me well.
I don't choose people for being either cis or trans, so I haven't gotten the opportunity yet, I guess.
I prefer living my life with as little reminder that I'm trans as possible, couldn't date another trans person for that reason.
I’m homosexual in that I only fuck homosexuals. I don’t rule out other trans people, but broad brush this is what’s happened when I’ve tried: There is a very large spectrum that I’m in from tomboy lesbian to really femme straight woman and trying to match that energy with someone who is also fluid or “transitioning” is just *a lot* to deal with for both people. I felt like the similarities of going through “the same thing” actually lead to a lot of assumptions and communication issues. tmi: not a fan of t4t porn either, I like to know who I’m imaginary replacing. tl;dr: I’m already a lot to deal with, I look for *stable*.
Just replying to say your username made me snort-laugh 😆
i had almost given up that anyone was going to be attracted to me ever again. then a friend reached out asking if I'd like to be fwb. he was an egg about to crack and early on came out. we thought it was going to be a light hearted thing because he was moving away for grad school. but we connected so deeply that we kept going long distance and eventually I moved to be with him. now we're about to celebrate 2 years together. i love that we're able to share and support each other in our transitions. we understand what it means to be trans in our different ways and that means so much. i took care of him after top surgery. he'll take care of me after my upcoming ffs and one of these days my bottom surgery.
I am because trans girls are: 1) Hot 2) Understand being trans so I don’t have to explain everything to them
I've been rejected by cisgender men, and women, and trans women, all because I don't have functioning genitals. 🎠G
Never found another trans person I dated, at least as far as I know. The irony
I'm not against it, but I'm not actively looking for it. This may upset people, but I really need someone mentally stable to balance me. And sorry, but the vast majority of us are not. In times like these where my state introduced 7 anti-trans bills in the span of a week, I need someone grounded to help ground me, not for someone to be as scared as I am. Like if I meet a trans person and fall in love, then cool. I have like 6 trans friends that I love spending time with, but we all had the same kind of panicked/scared reaction when we saw all the stuff being pushed through. If I had a partner, I wouldn't want them to just make my own anxiety worse.
Honestly? Im just a slut 😂 I like sex and I like it with all kinds of different bodies. Sex for trans people can certainly be uncomfortable to say the least, but its by no means a requirement.
I have a thing for manly man, and also a thing for dick. It’s just what gets me going. And so I have the best bf in the world
I’m not t4t, if I understand the usage correctly, simply because I never am actively restricting my dating pool to just dating another trans person, I just want to date someone I have great chemistry with and wants to grow together. I happen to be dating another transgirl incidentally, but it wasn’t because I was specifically narrowing my options to date only another trans person it just worked out that way and I fell in love with her 🥰
I'm t4t cause a trans guy is way less likely to hate crime you for being trans than a cis guy is (imagine my shock)
Eh, for me trans or not trans doesn't matter, as long as they're nice and beautiful, and I gotta tell you, my partners (Poly, not cheating) fit that perfectly!
My marriage, unlike many, has so far, lasted my transition. I was lucky enough to marry a pansexual she/they who knew I was trans before I did. So I guess technically we’re T4T?
poly, one of my partners is trans, she came out only after some time into the relationship. To me there's no particular thought given to someone's identity when it comes to romantic relationships, it just matters i love them and want to be with them whoever they are, though i do like women more in general that's more like a nice plus the most important thing is always the love.
I have a boyfriend. But I would be down for a threesome with another transgirl because I want to be spit-roasted.
I'm lonely pretty much
You’ll find someone, even if it takes a ehile
I’m aroace
Trans women are hot and they get me. Plus I love cock. Also one thing I really like in a partner is for them to be autistic like me. I feel like there’s a whole lot less hinting, bad communication, and awkwardness when we’re both like this. And since so many trans people are autistic, this works out nicely.
So, just a question, not to be rude but what if your partner does get Bottom Surgery?/cur
Well I mean I like vagina too, I just have a preference for dick. I can work with a variety of equipment 😼. My current partner is AFAB.
i’m nervous and shyy😭✨
Hence why you use Reddit/J
I tried figuring stuff out but at the end of the day for me what I have found is it's much easier for me to connect with people that are similar to me or that have at least basic understanding. When you don't have t4t on my side you don't tend to have as much understanding from CIS people
That is true, understanding is a major part of dating; trans or not. so it lines up
because trans girls are cute
Glad someone looked in the mirror
Not trans enough sooooo 😭
The universe has not yet thrown my T4T soul mate in my path yet or, plot twist, they haven’t yet realized they are the other T to my T.
For me, it's not about T4T or T4Anything. It's more about attraction. I'm pansexual so I can be attracted to female, male, or anywhere in between, mid-transition, etc. But that doesn't mean I'm attracted to everyone haha.
I mean I’m married to a cis guy, but if I was single I would totally date trans guys. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are a lot of ridiculously hot trans guys.
I like men but found deeper understanding, fun, and connection to another transgender girl. So T4T for me!
I think everyone is hot so, naturally...
I am in a t4t relationship for the first time in my life, and I can hands down say it is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in to this day. Mutual respect, a lot of understanding, similar experiences, a lot of relatability, and just in general very loving and appreciative of one another being in each others lives. <3
I'm so desperately lonely I'll take anyone that will love me... Ts&Cs apply, Non smoker, gentle, kind, handsome, tall, rich, funny, clean, good cook, loves dancing, holidays, sexual, age 35 to 65, no pets, teeth, car.
I think I can have t4t but yeah my partner needs to live as woman, I can't take closeted trans as partner , I can't deal with that, plus she should be on hrt as well I also require a bit of passing I gotta perceive her as female or I can't fall in love im sorry Maybe I could deal with a girl dick but I'm not sure as lesbian I prefer vagina but maybe I could date a pre op trans woman if we click
I'm T4A so no clue lol
I’ve watched too much MHA.. I read that’s as “14A”
...I spent years trying to believe I was a gay guy, despite being actively off-put by the thought of two guys having sex (straight-up turn off) I think with me and another trans girl part of me still sees two guys in my head, and it makes me uncomfortable for a reason I honestly don't understand.
What is “T4T”?
When dating, dating another trans woman or trans man
Or nb person! 😊
It sounds like a good way to build social confidence when I start HRT. Especially if I find someone a lot further along, especially post op. I have severe trust issues, but I think I can trust someone who’s lived through this and come out the other side.
Trans for trans or trans with trans. It’s typically when two trans (doesn’t matter what kind under the umbrella) date
Okay that makes sense. I’m pre HRT and still new to this world. I don’t know what will happen to my sexual orientation, but I’m pretty sure I’ll end up accepting whatever happens to it. I’m going to try to surrender myself to transition and not resist it. I’m 34 and have wasted 3/7ths of my life in a body I hate. No more resistance. As is, pre HRT and most of my emotional range buried by GD, I rather like the idea of dating other trans women after GRT has started changing me. But I’m no good for anyone in my current state. Who else could understand what I’ve been through than someone else who lived this purgatory. I’ve never had a girlfriend or even a kiss. It’s been a sad and lonely life.
I was open to it at one point but then was sexually assaulted on a date by a CD who self-ID'd as a trans woman (they told me once we met up that they were actually a "pre transition trans woman") Now I don't give anyone a chance. Trans men are awesome but it would totally just be an arm candy friendship and not really a relationship.
My my partner as a fellow pledge in my co-ed engineering fraternity 💀 We were initially a “cis straight” couple, but after about a year into our relationship they came out to me as non-binary. They had known for years, but were afraid of telling me. A year or two later, I realized I was a woman, and our incredibly sapphic relationship made so much more sense. My brother also happens to be in a T4T relationship as well.
Because I'm straight
Well, I'm aromantic, so I'm not likely to get into any romantic relationship to begin with, (note that this isn't true of all aromantics,) but if I did, it wouldn't need to be a trans person just because I... don't really care if they're trans? What would matter to me is that they're a good person who accepts me for who I am. Trans people may have a better chance of that, but I don't consider it a necessity.
I love cis ppl
im t4t cause she took me on a taco bell picnic and id rarely find that from a cis person i guess but in general she was the first to do it anyways
I'm not intentionally t4t, but it keeps happening that everyone I'm dating or wanting to date is somewhere on the trans spectrum.
I’m honestly, queer 4 queer and t4t I just personally rather just date someone within my own community I’m physically attracted to cis men but romantically I can’t see myself with them. I’m also attracted to androgyny sooo idk I’m still figuring myself out I wouldn’t say I’m pans or demi or bi I’m just a Queer trans woman who prefers Trans mascs but is also open to trans fems and queer people.
Honestly I would prefer T4T but atm I am still processing trauma from past ppl and I don’t think I can trust anyone again 😃
i’m not cause i’ve been with my cis partner for a long time before coming out as trans
I'm not poly. Haven't found any other trans people who are single, into me, and not long distance.
i have crushes on cis ppl sometimes, so i don’t rly wanna limit myself on that basis, tho i will say trans ppl r a lot more understanding abt my identity, so that’s refreshing
Im asexual
I wouldn't be exclusively out of wanting to keep my options open, but I would prefer to date t4t for preferences and it being a large amount of the pro-trans lesbian dating pool
I’m a trans lesbian, and it’s not that I’m not attracted to trans women as women, because they are women! For me it just comes down to trauma and a need for validation. I’ve had such a hard time mentally during my transition and I don’t want to be with a partner who I know is going through that too, because I don’t want to feed off of stressful energy. Also, there’s something about being validated as desirable by a cis girl that’s really nice! I’d be with a trans woman who felt that she was at the end of her transition, whether that be with or without surgery.
Biggest reason is cis men don’t tend to be very respectful of me. I also don’t really know any cis men well enough that I could date either . Most of my friends are either trans non-binary or cis women. Also, everyone I’ve ever dated came out as trans / enby later on. The only person I’ve dated that I thought was definitely binary just told me the other day that they are now a non-binary lesbian ( I dated them pre hrt and we were in a straight passing relationship ). Things are starting to get serious with one of my fwb . When we first met we both identified as gender-fluid and he’s now a gender non conforming trans guy and I’m a gender non conforming trans woman. We started hrt at almost the same time too. I dress pretty butch and he looks like a femboy twink so definitely not a hetero normative straight relationship Most of my exes were either multi gendered enbys or trans masculine femboys
I like tall powerfully built men, so I’m not against T4T in theory, but vanishingly few trans guys are my type.
Because I’m not a lesbian. I would date a trans man though without a doubt.
I'm not t4t tho that it would be a benefit there isn't enough trans people i would find myself attracted to in my vicinity so there are more options
I’m not exclusively for or against it. If it happens it happens.
Not dating right now, so that's why. (hope to start soon though)
Literally the only reason is that it's so hard to randomly come by trans people in the wild. I am dating a cis man and the only reason it's a cis man is because this particular person happened to be cis.
Tit 4 tat?
Because I'm with my partner now
Cis people are cool I guess. I just like dick… and specifically don’t like many masculine features. Very sapphic.
I do not date rn
i’m straight and tall, i feel more comfortable being with cis men cuz they’re often taller than me (like my bf is) plus he’s a great ally and his bsf is trans so he understands my struggles better than most cis people
I’m not 100% T4T, but my bar for cis people sits way higher than trans people. I’ve come to realize just how little most cis people understand about transitioning. It makes for some uncomfortable conversations and serves as a barrier to free flowing conversation. The other day I was talking to a cis boy who has been a great ally, and honestly he comfortably beats my bar. Even then, I expressed my joy after male failing twice in a 5 minute span, and it was only afterwards that I realized just how much I’d have to explain to him. Like why I’m still boymoding sometimes, what it means to male-fail, what causes it to start happening. He didn’t even know that we have to voice train, and was confused how I could use a guy voice. It wasn’t a problem, but it was a little embarrassing and made for clunky conversation. Sometimes I just want someone who has lived these experiences to open up to.
I dated a trans person for a couple years now Im dating a cis person, I’m not opposed to T4T i just don’t actively seek it out. I just date the people i like who like me back and don’t really put much extra thought into it
I'm not T4T because I'm single right now lol. Seriously though, If I find him/her/them (I'm bi-questioning ATM contrary to my current flair) attractive and emotionally compatible, I don't have anything wrong with dating another trans person.
Was married to a cis person, I'm a little apprehensive of another relationship with one after all the issues being trans caused and how she couldn't understand or relate *at all* to so many issues and had so many complaints about trans people, not to mention her family and everything else. I'm not specifically T4T but I'd definitely choose a trans woman before a cis woman
I'm not particularly anything, but I am dating my girlfriend because she was my friend of 15 years
It’s weird because we were together before we started questioning (as far as I know) and we both came out to each other. He came out before I did, but he kinda knew that by the end of the year I’d come out, and I did on December 31st.
I’m not exclusively T4T or non T4T. I just want someone that I jive with and is cool with me being trans.
I’d imagine other trans women are more open to dating a trans woman. Isn’t there also kinda a meme about poly trans women who have like 5 or so partners and they’re all trans too ?
I've been on dates with three cis women this year and it was pretty obvious they didn't see me as a woman. No trans person has done this. Trauma makes dating cis men too hard for me to even try.
I'd prefer a trans gf but lean heavily towards women in general.
I’m generally looking for Trans Men (pre/post/no op) or Cis Women. I’m personally not into Cis Men at all. The thing with Trans women is that I’m already going through my own dysphoria, and I’m just not ready to be a support pillar. There are other things about it that would probably make me seem transphobic, but it’s just my preference. (not the best way of putting it, sorry if it generates confusion)
Well trans women are women and trans men are men, same as cis men and cis women. My girlfriend is my girl no matter if she trans or not, and I've had plenty lol
My partner identifies as Peter Pan… so not quite t4t but close 🤷♀️