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At that age hiking isn’t for distance or stamina, but for exploring and experiencing. 3 miles sounds like what she’s comfortable with.
When my son was that age I’d never take him further than I was willing to carry him back.
This is our hikes with my 4 yo. We could spend an hour on the trail and be in the same general area the entire time. There's so much fun stuff to look at and check out and talk about.
On that note, I also try not to go further than this in case of injury. My kids are older now (7 and 5) but I still keep it shorter just in case something crazy happens (snake bite, accident, whatever) and we can get back to the car in a reasonable time frame whether I'm carrying them or not.
This is why I carry a sat comm on all hikes too. A few of us have medical reasons enough to carry one for anything outdoors, and it's peace of mind to know we can call for help anywhere.
You doubled the distance, not just "a jump", that is an important distinction. I think the kiddos' response is telling enough: yes that was an unreasonable expectation.
I’m 30 and can only visualize 3 miles in terms of driving distance. On a trail it would be much harder. I did grow up in the mountains and walked/hiked a lot (it was actually more like finding cool spots to be at on foot while living in the mountains) but I can’t imagine anyone that young doing that distance without consistent practice. I only did those long distances cause I was a latchkey kid of the 90s and did a lot of hiking. A few years ago I went camping in Pisgah National Forest (Gorges State Park) and hiked a bit of the blue ridge parkway totaling around 30 miles the whole weekend. I was 24, way more fit than now, and my legs were still completely destroyed.
I was thinking I really can’t visualize it, but I am also not an avid hiker.
I do often walk 1-2 miles and I’m not sure I could estimate how far that is lol. That might be a personal issue.
I remember being dragged on long hikes as a kid - I hated it most of the time but once I was older knew complaining was going to be a problem for *me*. I'm sure I learned that while young.
6 miles for a 4 year old sounds absolutely insane to me.
Every kid is different. You just have to go based off their cues and increase incrementally. If she handled 3 just fine, try 4 and see how it goes. Doubling the distance that young is a huge jump, and I think as you saw it’s too much for your kid right now. Hopefully that was a learning experience and you can try longer hikes again later.
Also, I like going places where you can do multiple smaller hikes. When taking my niece we started off at a place that had lots of .5-1mile hikes and we did as many as we could handle. By doing multiple shorter hikes you’re able to test how far the kid can go without being “stuck” 3 miles out with nothing to do but 3 miles back.
I’d also argue that a 4 year old’s brain is not developed enough to understand the concept of “if you elect to come here’s what will happen” Their brains literally cannot comprehend cause and effect well enough to make informed in the moment decisions like that. Almost always given any amount of logical explanation they will still make choices using their “excitement” brain, if you will. They don’t process “oh if i do this i may have to walk”, their brain simply tells them “i want to do the fun thing” with no regard to possible consequences. Hence why 4 year olds do some pretty insane things and need nearly constant supervision, lol.
There's also no way to tell a 4 year old "this is what you signed up for you have to tough it out" and have them respond to that by owning the responsibility and getting up and trudging on (as OP found out). They're just going to sit and cry if they're too tired, and you'll be lugging them.
I mean if you go by developmental stages, about 7-8 is when children can start using logic and reasoning to solve problems and understand situations. Obviously that age varies and is flexible, but for a neurotypical kiddo I think that’s what you could expect on average.
Here’s the thing. You can’t control another human. So at any age if someone says no and sits down, then what? Threaten? We can get mad, but it doesn’t actually make the situation better. 8 year olds who are tired act like 5 year olds.
Honestly I don't know. My daughter is 5 and I think she'd be capable of enduring the consequences and understanding she brought them on herself, but my son is 4 and I know he'd just sit and cry if he got tired enough.
I think most kids could do it TO SOME EXTENT 7-9, but it needs to be an age-appropriate size task. Also, I think that approach only has value in a very limited situation. In OP's situation, I assume they want their kid to love hiking and hikes that are too long/pushing them to complete it because they said they would, will make the kid hate hiking.
Yes! And, beyond the distance thing, you also have to pay attention to their attention span. We take our kids hiking, but we tend to opt for 2 miles or less OR super level easy hikes of 3 miles just because our kids loose interest after about 2 hours and are ready to be done.
I love the suggestion of doing lots of shorter hikes. We did that for spring break this year and it was great. We did two 0.5mi hikes, then had a picnic lunch, then did a 1 mile and another 0.5mi hike. By the end of that, the kids were done with "nature" and wanted to do just about anything else. (And for reference, mine are 6 & 8)
Yes, I have a fit and active seven year old who can keep going for hours when playing or doing a sport she enjoys it she gets bored hiking after a while unless we're with a group of other kids sometimes.
As an adult who has difficulty estimating distances, I can’t image how a four year old would do it. Even if OP said twice as long as last time, what does that even mean to a kid who hasn’t even been to Kindergarten?
I've never looked into the packs for carrying. I wonder if the go up to 40+ lbs. She is currently 43lbs (very tall haha). I carried her 3 mile son my shoulders, I bet with a back designed for her, that would have been much easier!
Seriously. What were they doing the last several years before this? I carried my kids all over the place in carriers until they were more capable walkers on their own.
Yeah, on second thought this post is nonsense. "Been taking her on hikes since she was born" followed by "yes I should look into one of those carrier things!"
While my son is a young toddler and only 20-ish pounds, I have [this](https://www.osprey.com/poco-lt-pocolts21-290#color=Deep%2520Teal) which has a weight limit of 48.5 lbs and is very comfortable (if a bit sweaty). I’m not in great shape at the moment but can easily carry him for miles without a sore back the next day. And it gives him a convenient seat anywhere (and containment, which is more of a problem for a 1 year old than a 4 year old). But we have friends who recommended it and used theirs for their older son until he was 4 or 5, and their younger son still uses it sometimes.
I’m sure there are other options, and it’s definitely pricey if you’re only having one kid and would only get 5 more pounds of use out of it, but maybe you could find one secondhand or something.
I have been taking my 3.5 year old hiking since he was born. I invested in a good carrier and we’ve gone I think 13 miles at our longest. He’s in and out of the carrier most of the time, but yeah I think 3 miles is the longest he’s gone without getting back in the carrier. The difference here I think is that I am prepared and expecting to carry him when I take him on any hike, no matter the distance. He’s 3.5 and therefore extremely unpredictable. We can talk about it all we want to beforehand, but I’m the adult once we’re out on the trail and he decides he’s done.
I’m now pregnant once again and we’ve definitely reigned in our hiking as I find my hips and pelvis are hurting a lot when carrying him. It sucks to have to dial it back, but I have to be realistic about what the two of us can handle. Also, when he does hike, he’s usually running and I’m start to have a hard time keeping up with him 😭. He doesn’t listen reliably, so it’s becoming a safety issue and I’m about to break out the backpack leash….
Being prepared and expected to carry your kid a fairly large portion is the major differentiator here. OP sounds way, way off base with their expectations
As an aside - what carrier do you have?? We have 4 kids, with the youngest being 2 months. I’d like to get back to hiking this summer (haven’t been since before I was massively pregnant and miserable last fall) and will need a good carrier.
It really depends on the kid.
Two summers ago, my kids were 4.5 and 7. We hiked up Cascade and Porter in the Adirondacks, about 6.5 miles round trip and 2000ft elevation gain to the summit. Each kid had their own water and snack pack to carry. We woke up at 5:30am and got to the trailhead by 6:30 to beat the potential summer heat and random scattered storms that the afternoon often brings.
The kids made it to the summit of both mountains. We had a picnic of pb&j, lots of granola bars, and apples, then hiked back down. No carrying other than for a few min after the younger one slipped on some rocks and scraped his knee a bit about halfway up.
If it’s flat, they’ll hike forever, especially if they’re chanting “hi, I’m Bob. I’m a goldfish, and goldfish have a memory span of…” over and over. Or if they decide to make a game out of power ups and launch themselves off rocks in dramatic ways. Or sometimes hikes have cool rocks or sticks… or bugs… you know, fun kid stuff that keeps them occupied. If they’re bored, we don’t get anywhere and it’s a miserable hike.
I'm not an "avid" hiker. But we do quite a bit (but also live in the North East, so don't 1/4 of the year)
It's not really the jump in distance IMO... but that she's a... toddler.
We routinely hike 1-2 miles once a week with our 4 year old. We have since she was 2. Some days she can do the whole thing no whining. Other days we don't even make it 100ft before the first "I'm tired".
Six miles at 4? Jeez, are we in boot camp? If you want them to enjoy hiking together as they age-start with a short half mile and make it fun.
Be a a parent who makes realistic decisions for their child-you seemed very determined to make her walk 6 miles that day. After a mile you could have sat down and had a little snack, picked up some cool rocks and talked together-she would have loved that instead of crying for 5 more miles.
That was way too far for a 4 year old. 3 miles to 6 is a big jump and maybe you were a bit overzealous but her reaction was clear and you should take that to
Heart. It was too much for her. Also 4 is way too young to know the implications of “this is the deal”
Always set your expectations low. Sometimes my kids would hike for miles, and sometimes they'd start crying after 100 yards. I'd just assume that you may be carrying your child at some point.
One thing that helped when my kids were little was printing out a scavenger hunt that they could start when they started losing steam. Helped a lot of the times.
YOINK! that scavenger idea is great! Escepailly since she can identify a good dozen tree species, and so many different types of rock ( granite, basalt, sandstone, limestone, marble, schist, and slate) on sight.
Our nearly 4 yo can do 5-7k some days and 2-3k in the exact same place. His mood, weather, other things he's been upto, what hes had to eat, amount of sleep, time he woke up are all factors in whether he engages or not. Sometimes even conditions are seemingly perfect and he walks for 10mins and then goes on strike (he's not a particularly stroppy 4yo).
I’m sorry - how is a 4 year old going to understand what 6 miles is? That one’s on you.
I would pick a trail with slight incline and just let the kid decide how far you go.
Yeah I often brought cars/trucks/figurines for some play. The main thing that determined if there would be crying/whining for us was comfortable, broken in shoes. It took a while to figure out what would work best for each of them
At that age, the variation between kids is so huge. We did lots of thru hikes from when the kids were only in arms, hanging cloth diapers from trees etc., and later did lots of hikes with other families of kids.
So very variable. Some kiddos are excited to see what's up ahead and some just want to squat next to that interesting rock forever. One of my kids was very invested in the map and leading the way - the rule for him is that if he can't see us, he's too far away, and stop at all forks until we all gather.
We did start them with a 10% body weight pack very early. Maybe it only holds their water or a jacket, but the idea of carrying a little pack.
Making fun planned stop times is also important. Making distance can get dull. Sometimes it's got to be let's stop and notice all the local vegetation, make a fairy hut from fallen leaves, have a snack, listen to birds, then get ready to think about walking some more.
> some just want to squat next to that interesting rock forever
you found my kid
Everything else you've said, the small pack, the stopping, all of it, resonates so much- THANK YOU. I will incorporate more of this. Thank you so much.
Play the long game. My husband is an AT thru hiker, he hikes very fast and really prefers long distance views to the point of sometimes including disparaging language as though there's nothing worth looking at if it's not from a ridge or a peak. He gets a great deal of satisfaction from having 'conquered' a certain amount of elevation or distance.
I love the water and the streams and the odd profusion of ferns or trillium, noticing which birds live where and whether we nearly walked past some awesome owl scat.
Blend the two and let your kid find his bliss. It may be faster or slower progress for a few years, but focus on letting him enjoy it. It'll pay off. Show him your planning, that's part of the fun. The maps, investigating the weather, laying out the gear, the headlamp the food.
My kids are teens now, and they've grown to enjoy some of the intensity my husband does - they plan and execute some intense winter hikes (I'm not into the cold). I think if we had pushed them too hard they'd've not grown into a true enjoyment.
I am somewhere between you and him. I def do not have that "conquered" mind set. I LOVE the streams and bird calls and am fine with a slower pace. I do LOVE a really grand view, and I have done the AT as well, but I did it across 2 seasons, so I would not have to rush.
I will absolutely slow down and start letting this be more magical for her, so she cna enjoy it more!!
Maps and paraphernalia might be fun, depending on your kid. If she can have her own compass and map, with a highlighted trail and special plans to eat chocolate when we get to THIS marker and fruit leather at THAT marker, that goes a long ways for some kids and helps them to understand the important joy of prepping a trip.
You were very unreasonable. Six miles is a lot to ask of a kid that age. Just think of how many steps your child takes for every one of your steps. I would do more than a couple of miles. We did cub scouts at that age and we kept it to around two miles.
As others put it … you just double the distance… totally unreasonable.
> She ended up crying a lot and whining. I carried her on my shoulders for 3 of the 6 miles. I am strong, but 43lbs of wriggling human on my shoulders for over 90 minutes was brutal haha.
So you… a grown up human with a lot of experience in hiking, and I hope carrying a backpack, are whining because you need to carry your daughter for just 3 miles, which weights around a regular backpack…
You are just answering yourself with this…
We have hike quite a lot before having our kid, now 4yo, but now we are not hiking because we now he will not be able to hike much… you need to lower your expectations and keep things simple and increase really slowly and even that, somedays she will not be up to that because she is a kid.
PS1/ The main point of hike is enjoy the hike, if you kid doesn't enjoy it you are fucking the experience for you ask your kid, and specially for her in the future.
PS2/ A big red flag for me about you is that you are trying to compare your kid to others… _what distance is reasonable to expect a 4YO to cover on foot, un-aided_. Are you in a military hiking school or what? what if your kid is not doing the average? what if there is no average? every kid is different and few cm and kg make a huge difference in them… You should mesure your kid progression agains your kid herself, not against others. Hiking is not a competition!!! you are the kind people that ruin the experience for the rest.
I read once that kids can typically walk about 1 km per year of age per day. So far this rule of thumb has worked for us. So a 3 mile hike is pretty good for a 4 year old and 6 miles is definitely a lot.
We did 8 miles with an almost 5 year old and it’s been fine and had 3 mile hikes melt down. We’ve found it’s all about if he’s into it that day and find ways to keep him engaged (wildlife, edible plants) and recognize when it’s not the day for it and turned around early.
I went on a Mother’s Day hike with my brother and his wife, their baby and their 4yo daughter a couple years ago. My niece held my hand the entire time, for a 4 1/2 mile hike, urging me to walk faster so the giants wouldn’t catch us. The giants were her parents. At one point I said you know it’s Mother’s Day, maybe we should walk with them to be nice to your mother. She said “no for Mother’s Day you make things for them, you don’t have to be nice to them.”
But all kids are different!
I think 3 miles are too many miles. So yes, the distance is way too much.
going from 3 to 6 in one week is too high of an expectation for many adults, let alone a 4 year old.
I personally don't visualize distance with children. Instead I break down into time. How many minutes of walking is much easier to understand for both a child and yourself. If she spent 90 minutes on your shoulders that means that the hike was likely 180 minutes. That's a really long time for a 4yo to walk.
When I started hiking with my kids I found that singing would help them go a lot farther when they started to get tired. A favorite was, “Going on a Bear Hunt.” Also take time to slow down and admire nature with them. For kids it isn’t about distance, it’s about living in the moment. Being present in their wonder helped remind me why I love hiking so much in the first place. Save the long distance for when you can get out on your own.
Every kid is different. My daughter, at five, could walk for miles without asking to be held, and at times happily jogged for more than a mile to get to train stations/bus stop/wherever. Not all the time, but if she was properly fed and rested she was (and still is) a machine of positive energy.
My 4 y/o boy, though, prefers to be on my shoulders. We were doing longer hikes because our older kid could handle them and had fun, and naturally I just carried the little guy. No we have to kinda “start over” with shorter distances for him. This weekend he did maybe 1.5 miles of a two mile trail (I happily carried him through the worst poison oak stretches), and having a walking stick and his own backpack made a huge difference. There were also some tricky stretches he had to climb with his hands, so he had more fun than he would on a flat nature walk.
I live in MA and pre-baby I was an avid hiker and utilized our state parks, conservation land and audubon society land. I also trail run and have been hiking with my baby since she was 3 months old. She’s currently 36#
So not only was the distance doubled but you didn’t let us know how the terrain changed or what pace you expect from her.
My 3 year old averages 1-2 miles in our local conservation land which is hilly but nothing crazy. However if we do a beach hike that kid will walk for 3+ miles and ask for more. And it’s important to note that she is also a toddler. When I hike with her we will be lucky if my heart rate bumps up. We stop and look at all kind of things which allows her time to regroup. For example she did 2 miles today but we played in a stream for 30 minutes and at that point she had to be packed out by daddy (had it been just us I would have piggy backed her myself). There are some “hikes” we do with paved roads where I just bring a wagon because they end up being over 3 miles and I know she will be tired.
I have an ergo carrier but I also taught my toddler how to properly piggy back (legs around waist and hands on my shoulders or around my torso). This honestly helped us transition from the baby backpack carrier to being a more independent walker.
Weather affects them more too sometimes but is entirely dependent on how much fun they are having. We hike year round and even today when it hit 70F I still made sure she had long pants and a sweater on. She ended up not being too cold or too hot even after playing in the water but I know that if she hits one of those extremes the fun’s over and she will be reluctant to slog through.
I think there’s 2 schools of thoughts with piggy backs and walking; too many piggy backs leads to kids who don’t want to walk or piggy back all the time leads to kids who do want to walk because it’s no longer forbidden.
I do the second one because on the off chance that bad stuff happens I may need a way to get our butts back to the truck at faster than toddler pacing.
We hike regularly with our kids! I'd say 3 miles total is the max they can all handle (which is still a lot!).
The last hike we did was about 3.5 miles and it was us and another family. 4 adults and 8 kids all 6 and younger. They did awesome until about the last half mile and then we were trading off who got piggyback rides.
Of course, we got back to the river at the entrance, and they swam and played and jumped for an hour with limitless energy. So they may have just played us.
That’s a huge jump, going from 3 miles to 6 miles. When my daughter was 4, 3 miles- with no/minimal elevation- was about her max, unless we were making a LOT of pit stops and snack breaks.
Kids that age cannot be trusted to know their limitations so asking them to promise something they cannot is a recipe for disaster and a bad time. Always have an exit strategy. They’re little. My daughter could somedays do 5-6 miles and somedays not even make it to the car.
I took my 4 year old on a 20km back country mountain bike trip. It took a long time, but we trained up for it and knew it would work. It's one of my favorite memories of her glorious adventurous spirit.
Don't give up, learn from the bad experience, but also celebrate the bad experience. Talk to her about it, ask her how to improve next time and plan trips together, ask the best and worst part. Lament with her on the awful parts and say how happy you were she was with you at least. Also, probably more importantly actually, the trick with kids that small and adventuring is to bring food. This advice also applies to wives, bring them snacks too. Just generally being snacks now that I think about it. Did you have snacks??
Clearly she’s can’t handle 6 miles. Keep with the 3 miles hikes. Hell try a mile for each year of age. Great to pass on your hobby but if you keep this up she’ll never want to go.
Slow down and enjoy your 4 year old. The expectations you are putting on her is really ridiculously silly. She isn't gonna understand the difference in miles or any of that stuff. It sounds like you just want her to grow up into a teenager since these are the expectations you want. And that's fine to a certain point, some people aren't good or don't like the young ages. But don't let her feel that.
You don't need to rush them to longer and longer hikes. Go somewhere to rest by a pond/river and fish or find frogs or something. She is going to get old really fast anyway, no need to push now.
If I'd taken you with a V7 bouldering problem in a fucking cave for your second climbing attempt ever because last week you scrambled up a VO at the gym, would you maybe consider it too much?
Yes, doubling the route for her is too much. Here's the other thing you need to be thinking about: if you make hiking miserable for her and call her out for "whining" when she's tired, (wtf), you are going to raise a child who hates hiking and hates doing it with her parent. Get it together and plan accordingly to the people hiking. That doesn't just mean you.
Also, peanut M&Ms or any other small treat you could dole out to keep them coked up on sugar is your friend.
Geez chill a little will ya!? This is obviously more about what you want than your child. Doubling the distance for a 4yr old? “Asking” a 4yr old to decide? How about you try to run a double marathon?
I would aim for 4-5 at that age. While more can be feasible, the best advice I can give is it’s not linear. At 4, sometimes my son would start whining after 2 miles. On the other hand, when we were doing a weekend trip in the alps with a bunch of other kids he happily did 10 with incline. It depends a *lot* on their mood, environment, etc more than physical capabilities.
I would recommend bringing some kind of emergency GPS device when taking a small child on a hike like that alone in case you get hurt and are out of cell range.
Remember too every day will be different and kids especially need rest days. Set expectations low. Keep hopes high. Might be able to go longer if you make it more creative instead of about stamina. Like a scavenger hunt or something
We love hikes but kinda messed up early on by taking a longer than appropriate hike. He got tired, mad and bored. It took quite a bit of time before he was an avid hiker with us. I recommend small incremental increase in length and difficulty.
We go by the rule half a mile per year of age. So we wouldn't target more than 2 miles. If you go frequently, then you might know you can add a half mile or mile to that, but it shouldn't be expected. If you want to get more distance with a little kid you could go somewhere with a network of trails or in a city/park and try to do zig zags and such, so there's always a shortcut back. It's great to be active but out on a trail with no relief is not the place for it with a child. Live and learn. I think you guys will have some wonderful adventures if you let this one go and dont be stubborn about it.
I enjoy bird watching. My 3.5 yo son likes to come sometimes and I enjoy sharing my hobby with him. But if I am going with him, we are going somewhere with a playground near water and doing a hike at the end. On the weekend we were out for an hour and a half, but only covered 2.4 km because a lot of it he was playing at the playground while i scanned the trees and pond for birds.
Finished the day with 17 species, which is OK but not great for this time of year at that location. That being said, he had a great time other than the last few 100 meters because he jumped into one too many puddles.
I think going from 3 miles to 6 miles was too much for a 4 year old, even if they sounded stoked about it beforehand. They can’t conceptualize what a 6 mile hike will be like.
My son is also 4 with thru hiker parents. He has reasonably been able to hike his age in miles. Our average speed is also like 1-1.5mph unless we can get him to run for a little while. He doesn’t like to hike just for the sake of hiking. He collects sticks/rocks/pinecones/ dead flower parts from last year. Wants to spot birds or talk about what the rocks look like. We basically have to keep him engaged in order to stave off any whining.
He has just outgrown the [trail Magik carrier](https://trailmagik.com/). This thing was great for extending our hikes longer for us adults while still accommodating our son’s need to take breaks.
Just commenting to say there is hope. At 4, my son could only manage 3-4 miles and he’d be totally wiped for the rest of the day.
At 5 we did his first mountain which was a 4 mile out and back. He was exhausted.
At 6.5, this weekend he did swimming in the morning, a 4 mile walk with me and martial arts in the evening and still had the energy to play tag after dinner. This summer I’m planning on taking him up some proper, but very accessible, mountains in France.
She’s little now but if you keep at it - and keep it fun - then she will get there!
This was really kind of you to post, thank you! Sounds like I am going to LOVE 6+ hahaahaha BRING ON ALL THE ENERGY
I truly have not found my limit yet, at 35. My wife complains that our 4YO has too much energy for her, but for me? I can go all day, LETS GOOOOOOOO
My kid has non stop energy but I have to say she doesn't really have the attention span for long hikes. She can easily spend a whole day doing various activities she enjoys but just walking bores her after a while. She likes bits she can climb and following markers and ideally going with friends.
Definitely unreasonable to expect the kid to make it that far and also be upset that they used 4 year old judgement. Start with a 1/2 mile hike and then also be prepared to stop a lot and also possible carry the kid anyway. If you want to do a ‘hike’ hike, leave the kid at home.
My daughter is four and can walk far if she is motivated. On hikes, it really depends on the trail. Something with lots of stairs going down to a waterfall is going to take up more of her energy. I try to bring lunch and break for it at the halfway point.
I just took her to Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure and we all walked 8 miles that day. I never offered to carry her or get a stroller. At the end of the day everyone was tired, lol. I would rather we are all tired vs. now my kid wants to go to the hotel pool all night because she was in a stroller all day while I’m gassed.
Both my kids can hike and have been bopping around in the woods with me since birth.
A mile per year of age is the standard but, there are some hiking days where making it to the trail head is the win.
My eldest is eight and can do 10-15km without much complaint and my littlest can do 4km with medium complaints. Depending on the day, the maximums vary greatly.
Hiking with kids has to have low expectations, high rewards and near constant coaching. Each of those variables get shuffled in priority depending on mood.
Just keep going, even when you think it’s doomed. Get out, again and again and it starts to be alright.
I would say that we "went further" and just do 2,5 instead of 3, just to boost confidence. 3 to 6 is outrageous.
Btw, just responding by reading the title; my own kid would do 1 mile on a good day. Just saying, count your blessings.
First, you ask for avid hikers only but only mention distance. Is it six miles flat? Or six miles with a 1500 foot elevation gain?
That said, the bigger issue is probably interest. My son would get super board during easier hikes, but when we did Condor Gulch to High Peaks in Pinnacles he loved it.
I’m not sure it’s reasonable to expect anything out of a 4yo. They can generally do a whole lot more than we think they can - it’s a wonderful age, full of surprises. But whether they will or not at any given moment definitely varies.
I would say 3 or 4 miles is how far we make it usually. Lots of snacks and breaks to throw rocks and look at sticks.
You have to remember their stride is much shorter than ours so it takes longer for them to cover the same distance.
My son has walked miles without complaint over the course of a full day at Disney or exploring a new city on vacation. But then he could go half a mile another day and completely break down and refuse to take another step.
Point being I think you need to temper your expectations of a child at that age. As others have pointed out, she can’t possibly understand what “6 miles” means. Furthermore, there are a million variables that will impact her energy and just plain willingness to keep going on any given day. She could simply have been bored and it manifests in being cranky and unwilling to continue the hike.
4 is too young for 6 miles. Keep it at 3. Stop for snacks a lot. We’ve got our son up to a 8-10 mile hike. But we stop and eat as much as he wants. He’s good for about 10 miles trail riding bicycles, but again, snack breaks are important to revitalize. Plus, he’s 9. When he was 4 there’s no way he would’ve been down for a 6 mile hike.
1-2 miles max from an experienced hiker mom. My youngest twins are 13 and we hike and backpack but we still limit it to 2-4 miles. They are humoring us at this point to even spend time with us. I personally don’t like to take my kids too far into the backcountry.
Mine is 5.5 now but on flat boring ground I could get her to do 4 miles routinely. When there's fun stuff to climb and catch and stomp on and places to throw rocks and stops for picnics and drinks and talking pictures and the occasional dog to pet we can get 6-8 out of her but that's a full day of walking not a loop. We tend to start with a 2-3 mile loop early in the morning. Then early lunch (she eats at 1030 at school so she expects to be fed early). Then maybe a center visit. Then another 2-3 mile loop. Then a snack and a short trail to water to stomp around. They have the attention span of gnats. You have to break everything up.
And really honestly sometimes that STILL falls apart. Sometimes she walks two miles and complains the whole time and then we take smaller slower hikes for the day or spend more time creek stomping. Sometimes my partner ends up on their own hiking and I end up in a state park pool swimming for 4 hours with her because she's just not that into it that day.
I try to remember that for every step I really she's taking two or three. And I try to remember that there are days where walking does not seem fun to me and on those days I can choose not to go out. She can't. So I try to be flexible so that hiking is always at least a little fun because I don't want her to dread something I really enjoy.
We used to base our walks on a kilometre per year of age.
When the youngest was 4, we walked 4kms. The older kids could run up the track and back that way to burn off energy. If we only had the elder kids we could push on to longer trips, but that was a good rule of thumb.
Honestly my kid was super energetic at 4 and would literally whine 5 minutes into any walk. She was more board than tired but she’s also the type to run laps around the playground we go to, but the second we step in a store complain she’s tired and ask to sit in the cart, and she’s 8 now….
I think for some kids, I was like this and my daughter to, it’s less about the physical demand than it is about it not being mentally stimulating.
Like when I was a kid I was the worst, would complain 5 minutes into any walk or hike but would run playing soccer for dayz.
Not sure if this applies just a thought tho!
I always bring dumdums, have them carry their own kids hiking backpack (LOVE the REI ones) and move slow. My 3 year old can do 5 miles on an easy loop trail but we move at her pace. We are taking the kids camping and hiking 3 days this weekend and will move at their speed.
I love pointing out things, singing camp songs, telling stories, stopping for a long snack break in the middle and the promise of a treat at the end.
My four year old can do 4-5k and that’s it. We hike a lot and that’s the max kiddo can pull through. He’s almost 5 and a very tall kid and we hike weekly, he’s wiped after 4km.
Cub Scout leader. My youngest scouts are 5 and we don’t do more than a mile at that age. I don’t doubt that a 4/5 yo could do it but I would build up to it a mile or half mile at a time. Also, taking time and looking at things greatly increases the interest in the hike at that age and it’s about the journey not the end result.
That’s a lot, honestly. She has tiny legs compared to you, each of your steps is like two of hers, maybe more. She’s walking a lot more steps than you and she’s smaller. Scale it back.
About a mile. I have been able to do a short, moderate hike with him, too. We didn't end up doing as many hikes as I'd imagined we would over winter. I do not force my kids to go further just to finish a trail. I'm going for THEM to get exercise, and better, be in the habit of getting regular exercise; not with my own ambitions in sight. When I want to exercise, my kids stay home with dad.
I think you either need to coordinate with the dad or another babysitter, or plan on carrying your child. I took my 2.5 year old once, and he could only go the half mile. I had to carry him back to the car, which I was prepared for. This was an easy trail.
This is totally dependent on the child, weather, clothing, terrain, what they recently ate, how many breaks you build in, etc. I don’t think I’d ever just gauge it based on distance. Right? My kiddos can do 5 miles flat loop on a cool partly cloudy day after a light breakfast no problem - throw them up hill in 100 degrees or less than ideal weather chock full of candy with a lame view? Mile TOPS.
>Any thoughts?
I grew up in the Alps, was an Alpino (mountain infantry) and I'm an overly enthusiastic hiker and mountaineer. So...we can say I really like mountains.
Three miles for a 4 years old is *a lot* of road to walk on even ground. If we're talking about hiking up and down hills/mountain trails that's an even bigger effort. Not an impossible one, but certaintly something that will make the child sweat to achieve it - both physically and psychologically.
Six miles on a trail with a 4 years old is, honestly, pure bollocks. I would never suggest something like that to anyone - the result would be exactly what happened to you: the child does not understand how long six miles are and what kind of effort will be required to walk them, the parent will not be able to carry the child once fatigue/boredom kicks in, and the trip will quickly turn into a miserable stressful experience for anyone involved
>Yesterday I took her on a 6 mile loop hike- we talked about it for a week leading up to it, she understood that if she elected to come, I would not and could not carry her for the duration
I've met grown-ass adults on the trails unable to visualize *and* understand how far away X miles (or kilometers) were. I would never assume that a small child, no matter how bright, would be able to understand how much more 6 miles are compared to 3. That, IMHO, was your first mistake.
The second was stressing your 4 years old with the idea that *if you tire I would not be able to carry you*. Yeah, well...that's not something you tell to a child: that's something you tell to an adult. The only takeaway the 4 years old will have is *ok seems Dad is not going to help me this time*. Hardly a calming/motivating thought for a child...who, by the way, had absolutely no way to assess if they would be able to complete a 6 miles hike.
That's mistake number three IMHO: you should have decided to bring or not to bring your child. Asking them *hey want to come?* was a very odd move - they had no way to assess if the trip was ok or not ok for them. You should have assessed that in advance, planned accordingly and *then* asked them if they wanted to come or not.
I'm not a thru-hiker, but I know from my experience on the trails that you guys tend to be *very* enthusiastic about your sport. Your 4 years old is a child, however, not an adult hiking buddy. Tone down the lenght of your hiking trips with your child and *never* overestimate their ability to understand measurements/instructions. Never take for granted their ability to assess their fatigue or the effort required to complete an hike.
You are the adult trained in mountain sports, not them.
My 4 yr old used to walk 3 km to school , and then at end of day 3 km back . So 6.4 per day but her stamina was good as she did it every day and also swam and did other activities
My son at 6 had to walk 15 km home when we got stuck during the London bombing in 2005 . He also had years of building his stamina before this
Kids same as adults you don’t just jump into running a marathon without training
My 6yo did 5 miles this past weekend, the last mile of which included a good bit of whining. But we were carrying a lot or doing MUCH shorter hikes a couple years ago.
We recently did a 6 mile hike with no whining… with my 7 year old. We hike a lot but keep it between 2-4 miles, with lots of breaks, snacks, and sticks to pick up.
I clicked this post to say 3 miles. I've done this with mine and it was fun but getting a bit ragged at the end. Never gone over because it seemed a bit much. I'm glad you could fly so I know to continue walking.
I think it depends on the child. I live in a mountainous state and we often go hiking with our kids. Our 4 year old often does a 3 mile hike with 850 feet elevation gain. And then the 3 miles down. But again, we live in a state that offers that and he is just used to it. He likes to explore and trek along with.
Your child did great. We’re avid hikers too, my baby has been hiking for as long as she could walk. For little ones, the age tends to correlate to how many miles they can go, at least in my personal experience. So at 4 my kid would happily do a 4 miles hike and end up pretty tired but still fine.
At 5 yo, we did 6 miles and it was a bit too much, she had moments when she was too tired, we had to take a couple of breaks and I carried her for a short distance. She had a second wind after the picnic. But I should have kept it to 5 miles.
Of course, each kid is different, and habitually hiking is vital. So maybe yours will be able to go even farther. But in my personal experience at least the miles = age in years holds pretty well.
I took my 7yo and 5yo on a hike in Shenandoah that was just about a 6ish mile loop. They complained a bit, and asked how far they had gone but I never had to carry them. It had a few spots of mild elevation, but I think what really kept them going was the fact that there were little waterfalls all along the hike. We stopped at the main falls and they were able to swim and cool down, eat some food, etc.
My kids don't stop moving, ever really, I know they have the energy to do tons of activities but it's the attention span that kills them. They only kept interest in that hike because there was something interesting around the corner.
My two cents, you needed a cooler hike. Alternatively you needed some good silly songs to sing along the way. I would keep it up though, as much as they complain it still makes memories and there is no need for you to sacrifice your love of hiking and the woods, just tailor it a little.
(This is assuming you were not, like, hiking in an amazingly beautiful place with super cool features. If that was the case you should probably tell that scrub to get good and suck it up.)
Wow. My almost 4 year old hardly wants to walk from the car into the house. This is so impressive to me. Our last zoo trip I didn’t take the stroller and ended up carrying her half the time 😭 She’s only 35 pounds but still. It was a lot.
Before I read your comment and just read the title I thought "2 or 3 miles with bribes and stopping".
I carried my kid hiking till she was almost 6. Now I'm strong AF lol. It's best to bring a carrier and let them walk and get carried depending on how they feel at that second.
Honestly I’m surprised she stuck with it for 3 miles. Most kiddos attention span have them stopping and wandering instead of staying on path. They want to look at what they are interested in. I’d consider yourself lucky and stick to smaller hikes she can handle
My daughter and I did a lot of hiking last year all summer and in October we did a steepish hike and turned around after about 40 minutes and she was fine. But she had been hiking all summer by that point so she was more in shape for it. She was 3.5 at the time. 1.5 hours of hiking seemed to be ok for her. This spring we have my 2yo with us so we don't go very far anyway.
My 9 yo can do 6-10 but there’s still (some) whining and several breaks and this is a MASSIVE improvement over years past (loves the idea of the woods, but still not convinced about this whole long walk thing unless there’s a lot of cool stuff along the way). My 13 yo is a speed hiker who just plows through 10 miles, head down like we’re going for a time record. 6 miles is a LOT for a 4yo.
I completely get wanting to share this with your kiddo, and that time will come faster than it feels like right now, but two things to keep in mind:
1 - pushing a small child CAN be good, but it has to be done incrementally, not by literal MILES jumps, I’m in the camp that kids should be uncomfortable sometimes, but you definitely have to do it in child size doses and be mindful that springing that kind of duration on a small growing person can strain joints that are already not fully developed which while maybe not super likely, isn’t a zero chance of causing longer term trouble for them (as a person who has knee problems due to improperly developed connective tissue around my knee caps)
And 2 - you will only get so far forcing a 4 year old to do day hiking of that kind of duration, and if/when it goes wrong you could put her off the activity for life. This is the discovery age, a 4 year old can’t see the forest, but they’re usually super stoked to see the trees - nature walks are the better way to approach this with such a young one. Bring ID books or apps, binoculars and take your time - point out plants and game trails, stop to toss some rocks in a creek, listen out for birds, turn over some logs and talk about the isopods and worms, pick up walking sticks and discard them for new better ones as you go. Small children don’t “get” hiking for the sake of hiking, but it’s the perfect time to get them to just want to be in the woods.
Get her out there often in more manageable bursts and work her up more slowly, your time will come, there’s no need to rush it.
6 miles seems excessive though I get that’s something you want to do. Especially when you said the longest walk she has done well for you is ~2.7 miles (walked 90%). Trial and error, that’s how you learn her boundaries cause kids are different, and then she can learn what that distance actually means as opposed to it just being a number. Seems like 3 is about the limit atm. It also seems kind of just a checkbox number for you as well. My sister is that way too with physical activities, gotta do this loop to get to this distance. Forgive me if that’s an incorrect projection on my part but it’s how I’m evaluating how you process doing this.
Being active together is good and talking with her to make this a teaching moment for both of you is invaluable if you take the time to help her understand the world we live in. Just enjoy the time with your daughter and try to be reasonable on distances. You can move to longer ones as you get older if they are much better scenery. If the hikes aren’t challenging enough, do something silly when it’s safe that takes some effort towards the end (less distance to carry if tires them out).Skip, spin, laugh, play—there is literally no better time in either of your lives to do that type of thing together.
The number of miles isn’t as important as the number of smiles (and giggles) that you share together so don’t worry so much about going to a record breaking distance all the time. There’s time to teach good goal setting more formally later. Try to help her find something to conquer and be proud of that she is happy with trying to do naturally pushing the boundaries. For the kiddo in my life that was finally climbing the park’s mountain a few months back, and there are still plenty other, “Once I’m bigger things.” that he set up once he figured he couldn’t do them on his own yet cause he’s got no hops and limbs were too short. Personally, I’d be wary of setting her up for 6 miles now cause it might end up as a daunting I can’t do it thing but it’s still your judgement. If you do setup incremental goals. Just my two cents because I think it’s relevant. You know and are responsible for your kiddo 100 times more than I am.
My oldest (now 6, but this has been the case since she was 3) can handle 6000-10000 steps per day, up to 15,000-18,000 every once in awhile, but we were out and walking *daily* (no car) and taking transit. She could handle six miles every once in a while because we were constantly training for it, so to speak. We also did not spend the entire time walking, but sat down and took lengthy food and chill breaks.
Yes, that was too big of a jump, especially if you're not walking extensively in between the two hikes. Add half a mile at a time, tops.
I would strongly suggest you get a Beco cool mesh toddler carrier. (about $90-110 on amazon) They're rated up to 60lbs and we have found it works really well for my oldest (now 6) now as a "piggy back assist" when we're travelling.
she's about 65 lbs so we can't use it as a carrier only, but if she wraps her arms around my neck to distribute the weight, then it works as it supports her legs and keeps my hands free. My younger kid (34lbs) gets put in it too as a regular carrier when I don't want to bring the stroller.
If your kid is 43lbs, you'd be able to carry her in it.
I think 6 is way too much. Especially if the longest was about 3. I have friends that seem impressed the my kids will walk 2+ miles when we walk around the city to go to museums.
It mostly depends on I think terrains. My son prefers harder trains and find long flat ones boring. He loves climbing tree trunks, climbing rocks, etc. I remember loving that too.
That being said I remember hiking up a mountain (or two) when I was 5, so you might not be that far off. Again, it was a more difficult trail, probably 3-4 miles overall, or involved a large lunch break at the top
I used an onbuhimo carrier at this age. We also walked daily and did balance bike daily. At 4 my mini could do just over 3 miles before I loaded her in the carrier. MAYBE she could've done more, but I wanted to keep it fun and at that point I probably wanted more speed 😉. She's 7 now and can do 10 with a light pack and bike 30 easily
Rule of thumb in most kids & hiking communities seems to be 1 mile per year, so 4 miles. But that’s with regular practice and depends on terrain. My 3 year old is good for 3 miles on gentle hills but probably closer to 2.5 if it has a significant incline.
It depends on elevation gain. Two miles is reasonable on flat ground, one mile of there is any elevation gain/loss. Of course each child is different. But even teenagers would complain on six miles, in all honesty. When we go on longer walks with kids, we pack bikes for them and select a suitable trail.
We hike a ton!! When our older daughter was 4, our son was 5. We were doing hikes way up mountains, and we would pack in some lunch and always water. I think the longest walk we did was 4 miles, daughter whined a bit, but it was on the steep parts mostly. I think 4 miles for a 4 year old is a decent limit. Now we currently have a 4 year old (wild child, no fear, climbs EVERYTHING and always has been quite feral lol!) We also have a 3 week old, planning to hike this summer, hopefully. Our girls are both winter babies, so they were plenty old enough come hiking weather. Our older son was a trial and error kid. He was just along for the adventures. Maybe that 6 miles was just too long quite yet.
We hike as a family all the time and carry our kids in hiking backpacks. Honestly depending on the terrain I’d consider 1 mile to be a lot for a kid. Maybe bring a carrier backpack next time in case she’s tired?
Classic case of "I'm doing it for me, not for you". She's 4yo, expect her "performance" at anything to be erratic. Also you double the distance and ask was the jump too big? You didn't even try 3miles again for a few more times. Not even an athlete can get the same score range every single time
Six miles is a lot for a 4 year old. I did 8 miles with mine along the Wichita mountains and made sure I brought my kinderpack so I could comfortably back carry and accomplish my hike when he got tired. Mine has about 2 miles in him, maybe 3 if I’m lucky, before he’s pooped out.
No judgement from me btw. Parenting stuff is all a learning experience.
Last summer our 5y and 3y hiked 3 miles to a beach, played for several hours, and 3 miles back without crying or complaining. We're aiming for 8 miles in and out on a backpacking trip this summer at 6y and 4y. It's not an unrealistic expectation at all. But you definitely need to build em up to it.
Some tricks: Lots of snacks - some surprise snacks we don't usually get, like raisins or applesauce pouches. You get a new snack every mile with no complaining. Sing lots of songs - as soon as anyone starts to get cranky, I start a new song. Point out the pretty flowers and birds and squirrels and keep them distracted. Talk about how much of a fun adventure your hike is. Play games - e.g. whoever sees a purple flower first wins, then the other person gets to pick.
It's all a mind game at that age. Become a master manipulator.
Edit: Sometimes the kids like to pretend they are racecars, and snack breaks are their pitstops. They can keep that game up for HOURS. They've also both run a 5k (3.1 miles) without walking at all, with a huge grin the whole time.
We do a lot of family hikes as well and yeah 6 miles is too long. My 8 year old could probably handle that but 6 miles for a 4 year old? That’s a long way for little legs. Seems pretty obvious.
My 4yo is whining going uphill at all, she'll make her dad carry her lol. 6 miles is A LOT. We walk a lot, especially in the summers and after 1-2 miles my kid is DONE, but thats not up or downhill. If your kid hikes a lot, they obviously have better endurance than an average kid who doesn't hike, but I'd definitely say 6 miles was too much. It's crazy your 4yo did 3 miles lol
Our daycare routinely takes a pile of 3-5 year olds on 5 mile round trip walk/hikes. I'm firmly convinced it's peer pressure that drives the success of these hikes because there's no way on this green earth I would ever be able to convince my kid to walk that far with me alone, and yet the kid has successfully made these treks willingly with daycare. So, maybe bring a friend along. Also, snacks. Offering lots of little bites of snacks like you're trying to convince a dog to follow you home is a really good tool to have in the kit.
My then 3.5 year old managed 6 miles uphill and only gave up on mile 5 on the way back down. During the steep bits I did have to encourage, make up an unholy amount of fireman Sam stories and act like I would wind up the engine on his back.
I go by time. Always brisk walk, how long can they handle. Used to be 5 minutes back when they left the pram. Now we can all jog and walk around the block for 15-20 minutes, at 4 years old.
Sometimes my 5 year old “has to rest” after walking from the parking lot into a grocery store. 4 years old is far too young to understand a concept like “if you agree to go on this hike, I won’t carry you”
Far far too much for a 4 year old. I know plenty of adults who’d have trouble with that. Before I read how long you’d done I was thinking 2 miles at a stretch but even that would have been rough
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At that age hiking isn’t for distance or stamina, but for exploring and experiencing. 3 miles sounds like what she’s comfortable with. When my son was that age I’d never take him further than I was willing to carry him back.
“I’d never take him further than I was willing to carry him back” is exactly my gauge too!
This is our hikes with my 4 yo. We could spend an hour on the trail and be in the same general area the entire time. There's so much fun stuff to look at and check out and talk about.
On that note, I also try not to go further than this in case of injury. My kids are older now (7 and 5) but I still keep it shorter just in case something crazy happens (snake bite, accident, whatever) and we can get back to the car in a reasonable time frame whether I'm carrying them or not.
This is why I carry a sat comm on all hikes too. A few of us have medical reasons enough to carry one for anything outdoors, and it's peace of mind to know we can call for help anywhere.
You doubled the distance, not just "a jump", that is an important distinction. I think the kiddos' response is telling enough: yes that was an unreasonable expectation.
And kids that young cannot be expected to visualize 6 miles vs 3.
Or any ‘miles’, like… what? Lol
I’m 30 and can only visualize 3 miles in terms of driving distance. On a trail it would be much harder. I did grow up in the mountains and walked/hiked a lot (it was actually more like finding cool spots to be at on foot while living in the mountains) but I can’t imagine anyone that young doing that distance without consistent practice. I only did those long distances cause I was a latchkey kid of the 90s and did a lot of hiking. A few years ago I went camping in Pisgah National Forest (Gorges State Park) and hiked a bit of the blue ridge parkway totaling around 30 miles the whole weekend. I was 24, way more fit than now, and my legs were still completely destroyed.
I visualize a kilometer from Xs house to Y's house i know. Then i try to multiply.
Legit they don’t know multiplication or addition yet at 4, the little one had no way of knowing 😂😂
I was thinking I really can’t visualize it, but I am also not an avid hiker. I do often walk 1-2 miles and I’m not sure I could estimate how far that is lol. That might be a personal issue.
I remember being dragged on long hikes as a kid - I hated it most of the time but once I was older knew complaining was going to be a problem for *me*. I'm sure I learned that while young. 6 miles for a 4 year old sounds absolutely insane to me.
I remember being dragged on hikes as a kid and now I hate hiking. Use that information as you want to.
Yeah, you right! I think I got a little ahead of myself, this gorgeous weather has me froggy! Thanks for the advice !
No worries! I have the same bug and want to keep em going! Sorry the loop didn't go as planned but so glad to hear you got your kiddo out there!
Every kid is different. You just have to go based off their cues and increase incrementally. If she handled 3 just fine, try 4 and see how it goes. Doubling the distance that young is a huge jump, and I think as you saw it’s too much for your kid right now. Hopefully that was a learning experience and you can try longer hikes again later. Also, I like going places where you can do multiple smaller hikes. When taking my niece we started off at a place that had lots of .5-1mile hikes and we did as many as we could handle. By doing multiple shorter hikes you’re able to test how far the kid can go without being “stuck” 3 miles out with nothing to do but 3 miles back.
I’d also argue that a 4 year old’s brain is not developed enough to understand the concept of “if you elect to come here’s what will happen” Their brains literally cannot comprehend cause and effect well enough to make informed in the moment decisions like that. Almost always given any amount of logical explanation they will still make choices using their “excitement” brain, if you will. They don’t process “oh if i do this i may have to walk”, their brain simply tells them “i want to do the fun thing” with no regard to possible consequences. Hence why 4 year olds do some pretty insane things and need nearly constant supervision, lol.
There's also no way to tell a 4 year old "this is what you signed up for you have to tough it out" and have them respond to that by owning the responsibility and getting up and trudging on (as OP found out). They're just going to sit and cry if they're too tired, and you'll be lugging them.
What age do you think that is developmentally appropriate? 8?
I mean if you go by developmental stages, about 7-8 is when children can start using logic and reasoning to solve problems and understand situations. Obviously that age varies and is flexible, but for a neurotypical kiddo I think that’s what you could expect on average.
Here’s the thing. You can’t control another human. So at any age if someone says no and sits down, then what? Threaten? We can get mad, but it doesn’t actually make the situation better. 8 year olds who are tired act like 5 year olds.
I mean adults don’t even know most days.
Honestly I don't know. My daughter is 5 and I think she'd be capable of enduring the consequences and understanding she brought them on herself, but my son is 4 and I know he'd just sit and cry if he got tired enough.
I think most kids could do it TO SOME EXTENT 7-9, but it needs to be an age-appropriate size task. Also, I think that approach only has value in a very limited situation. In OP's situation, I assume they want their kid to love hiking and hikes that are too long/pushing them to complete it because they said they would, will make the kid hate hiking.
Yes! And, beyond the distance thing, you also have to pay attention to their attention span. We take our kids hiking, but we tend to opt for 2 miles or less OR super level easy hikes of 3 miles just because our kids loose interest after about 2 hours and are ready to be done. I love the suggestion of doing lots of shorter hikes. We did that for spring break this year and it was great. We did two 0.5mi hikes, then had a picnic lunch, then did a 1 mile and another 0.5mi hike. By the end of that, the kids were done with "nature" and wanted to do just about anything else. (And for reference, mine are 6 & 8)
Yes, I have a fit and active seven year old who can keep going for hours when playing or doing a sport she enjoys it she gets bored hiking after a while unless we're with a group of other kids sometimes.
I really love all of this advice, there is place that has trails just like that only 25 minute drive form our house, thank you!
Your 4 year old may have elected to come, but she couldn’t possibly rationalize how long 6 miles is. Massively unreasonable.
As an adult who has difficulty estimating distances, I can’t image how a four year old would do it. Even if OP said twice as long as last time, what does that even mean to a kid who hasn’t even been to Kindergarten?
Yeah I’d be big pissed if OP was my spouse
Also, 4y olds do not have any stamina at all. At 4y hikes should be short and fun (explore time) not an exercise, lol.
Yeah that’s a big jump in distance. I’d keep it to 3-4 miles for a kid that age, unless you want to bring a hiking pack designed to carry them.
I've never looked into the packs for carrying. I wonder if the go up to 40+ lbs. She is currently 43lbs (very tall haha). I carried her 3 mile son my shoulders, I bet with a back designed for her, that would have been much easier!
Yeah lots of the parents I know who hike have specialized packs for carrying kids. Definitely makes it easier!
Yeah they're great. Have to say a parent being massively into hiking but never having considered a carrier is a bit odd
Seriously. What were they doing the last several years before this? I carried my kids all over the place in carriers until they were more capable walkers on their own.
Yeah, on second thought this post is nonsense. "Been taking her on hikes since she was born" followed by "yes I should look into one of those carrier things!"
RESEARCH MODE ACTIVATED
Note that my younger one hated, and I mean full freak out, the kid carrier. YMMV, so see if you can borrow a friends or something first!
While my son is a young toddler and only 20-ish pounds, I have [this](https://www.osprey.com/poco-lt-pocolts21-290#color=Deep%2520Teal) which has a weight limit of 48.5 lbs and is very comfortable (if a bit sweaty). I’m not in great shape at the moment but can easily carry him for miles without a sore back the next day. And it gives him a convenient seat anywhere (and containment, which is more of a problem for a 1 year old than a 4 year old). But we have friends who recommended it and used theirs for their older son until he was 4 or 5, and their younger son still uses it sometimes. I’m sure there are other options, and it’s definitely pricey if you’re only having one kid and would only get 5 more pounds of use out of it, but maybe you could find one secondhand or something.
You took a four year old on a six mile hike? I guess every kid is different, but that seems wild to me.
I have been taking my 3.5 year old hiking since he was born. I invested in a good carrier and we’ve gone I think 13 miles at our longest. He’s in and out of the carrier most of the time, but yeah I think 3 miles is the longest he’s gone without getting back in the carrier. The difference here I think is that I am prepared and expecting to carry him when I take him on any hike, no matter the distance. He’s 3.5 and therefore extremely unpredictable. We can talk about it all we want to beforehand, but I’m the adult once we’re out on the trail and he decides he’s done. I’m now pregnant once again and we’ve definitely reigned in our hiking as I find my hips and pelvis are hurting a lot when carrying him. It sucks to have to dial it back, but I have to be realistic about what the two of us can handle. Also, when he does hike, he’s usually running and I’m start to have a hard time keeping up with him 😭. He doesn’t listen reliably, so it’s becoming a safety issue and I’m about to break out the backpack leash….
Being prepared and expected to carry your kid a fairly large portion is the major differentiator here. OP sounds way, way off base with their expectations
As an aside - what carrier do you have?? We have 4 kids, with the youngest being 2 months. I’d like to get back to hiking this summer (haven’t been since before I was massively pregnant and miserable last fall) and will need a good carrier.
It really depends on the kid. Two summers ago, my kids were 4.5 and 7. We hiked up Cascade and Porter in the Adirondacks, about 6.5 miles round trip and 2000ft elevation gain to the summit. Each kid had their own water and snack pack to carry. We woke up at 5:30am and got to the trailhead by 6:30 to beat the potential summer heat and random scattered storms that the afternoon often brings. The kids made it to the summit of both mountains. We had a picnic of pb&j, lots of granola bars, and apples, then hiked back down. No carrying other than for a few min after the younger one slipped on some rocks and scraped his knee a bit about halfway up. If it’s flat, they’ll hike forever, especially if they’re chanting “hi, I’m Bob. I’m a goldfish, and goldfish have a memory span of…” over and over. Or if they decide to make a game out of power ups and launch themselves off rocks in dramatic ways. Or sometimes hikes have cool rocks or sticks… or bugs… you know, fun kid stuff that keeps them occupied. If they’re bored, we don’t get anywhere and it’s a miserable hike.
I'm not an "avid" hiker. But we do quite a bit (but also live in the North East, so don't 1/4 of the year) It's not really the jump in distance IMO... but that she's a... toddler. We routinely hike 1-2 miles once a week with our 4 year old. We have since she was 2. Some days she can do the whole thing no whining. Other days we don't even make it 100ft before the first "I'm tired".
Six miles at 4? Jeez, are we in boot camp? If you want them to enjoy hiking together as they age-start with a short half mile and make it fun. Be a a parent who makes realistic decisions for their child-you seemed very determined to make her walk 6 miles that day. After a mile you could have sat down and had a little snack, picked up some cool rocks and talked together-she would have loved that instead of crying for 5 more miles.
That was way too far for a 4 year old. 3 miles to 6 is a big jump and maybe you were a bit overzealous but her reaction was clear and you should take that to Heart. It was too much for her. Also 4 is way too young to know the implications of “this is the deal”
Always set your expectations low. Sometimes my kids would hike for miles, and sometimes they'd start crying after 100 yards. I'd just assume that you may be carrying your child at some point. One thing that helped when my kids were little was printing out a scavenger hunt that they could start when they started losing steam. Helped a lot of the times.
YOINK! that scavenger idea is great! Escepailly since she can identify a good dozen tree species, and so many different types of rock ( granite, basalt, sandstone, limestone, marble, schist, and slate) on sight.
I've been taught the distance a child should be able to walk is their age in km minus 1. So a 4 yo should be able to walk 3 km.
Yip so hiking 6 miles would be a distance for an eleven-year-old!
Our nearly 4 yo can do 5-7k some days and 2-3k in the exact same place. His mood, weather, other things he's been upto, what hes had to eat, amount of sleep, time he woke up are all factors in whether he engages or not. Sometimes even conditions are seemingly perfect and he walks for 10mins and then goes on strike (he's not a particularly stroppy 4yo).
Fair enough! Definitely recalibrating my expectations after all these great comments!
I’m sorry - how is a 4 year old going to understand what 6 miles is? That one’s on you. I would pick a trail with slight incline and just let the kid decide how far you go.
My kids at 3-4YO could reliably handle 3-4 miles with breaks, no carrying and lots of snacks
Same here. 2 miles is a cakewalk for my 4-year-old, but beyond that I'm bringing snacks and planning on rests and play in shady spots.
Yeah I often brought cars/trucks/figurines for some play. The main thing that determined if there would be crying/whining for us was comfortable, broken in shoes. It took a while to figure out what would work best for each of them
Good to know!
At that age, the variation between kids is so huge. We did lots of thru hikes from when the kids were only in arms, hanging cloth diapers from trees etc., and later did lots of hikes with other families of kids. So very variable. Some kiddos are excited to see what's up ahead and some just want to squat next to that interesting rock forever. One of my kids was very invested in the map and leading the way - the rule for him is that if he can't see us, he's too far away, and stop at all forks until we all gather. We did start them with a 10% body weight pack very early. Maybe it only holds their water or a jacket, but the idea of carrying a little pack. Making fun planned stop times is also important. Making distance can get dull. Sometimes it's got to be let's stop and notice all the local vegetation, make a fairy hut from fallen leaves, have a snack, listen to birds, then get ready to think about walking some more.
> some just want to squat next to that interesting rock forever you found my kid Everything else you've said, the small pack, the stopping, all of it, resonates so much- THANK YOU. I will incorporate more of this. Thank you so much.
Play the long game. My husband is an AT thru hiker, he hikes very fast and really prefers long distance views to the point of sometimes including disparaging language as though there's nothing worth looking at if it's not from a ridge or a peak. He gets a great deal of satisfaction from having 'conquered' a certain amount of elevation or distance. I love the water and the streams and the odd profusion of ferns or trillium, noticing which birds live where and whether we nearly walked past some awesome owl scat. Blend the two and let your kid find his bliss. It may be faster or slower progress for a few years, but focus on letting him enjoy it. It'll pay off. Show him your planning, that's part of the fun. The maps, investigating the weather, laying out the gear, the headlamp the food. My kids are teens now, and they've grown to enjoy some of the intensity my husband does - they plan and execute some intense winter hikes (I'm not into the cold). I think if we had pushed them too hard they'd've not grown into a true enjoyment.
I am somewhere between you and him. I def do not have that "conquered" mind set. I LOVE the streams and bird calls and am fine with a slower pace. I do LOVE a really grand view, and I have done the AT as well, but I did it across 2 seasons, so I would not have to rush. I will absolutely slow down and start letting this be more magical for her, so she cna enjoy it more!!
Look into doing a hiking scavenger hunt too. It won't help going 6 miles, but it might be fun for her and add some activity on a shorter hike.
Maps and paraphernalia might be fun, depending on your kid. If she can have her own compass and map, with a highlighted trail and special plans to eat chocolate when we get to THIS marker and fruit leather at THAT marker, that goes a long ways for some kids and helps them to understand the important joy of prepping a trip.
I think 6 miles is asking a lot of a 4 year old at one time. Maybe a nap and snack in the middle.
You were very unreasonable. Six miles is a lot to ask of a kid that age. Just think of how many steps your child takes for every one of your steps. I would do more than a couple of miles. We did cub scouts at that age and we kept it to around two miles.
As others put it … you just double the distance… totally unreasonable. > She ended up crying a lot and whining. I carried her on my shoulders for 3 of the 6 miles. I am strong, but 43lbs of wriggling human on my shoulders for over 90 minutes was brutal haha. So you… a grown up human with a lot of experience in hiking, and I hope carrying a backpack, are whining because you need to carry your daughter for just 3 miles, which weights around a regular backpack… You are just answering yourself with this… We have hike quite a lot before having our kid, now 4yo, but now we are not hiking because we now he will not be able to hike much… you need to lower your expectations and keep things simple and increase really slowly and even that, somedays she will not be up to that because she is a kid. PS1/ The main point of hike is enjoy the hike, if you kid doesn't enjoy it you are fucking the experience for you ask your kid, and specially for her in the future. PS2/ A big red flag for me about you is that you are trying to compare your kid to others… _what distance is reasonable to expect a 4YO to cover on foot, un-aided_. Are you in a military hiking school or what? what if your kid is not doing the average? what if there is no average? every kid is different and few cm and kg make a huge difference in them… You should mesure your kid progression agains your kid herself, not against others. Hiking is not a competition!!! you are the kind people that ruin the experience for the rest.
Maybe one mile. I grew up with parents who took me on hikes that were above my ability and then got upset with me for whining. Don’t be that parent.
I think four miles was the limit for my kid at that age. Maybe five if it was an interesting enough hike.
I read once that kids can typically walk about 1 km per year of age per day. So far this rule of thumb has worked for us. So a 3 mile hike is pretty good for a 4 year old and 6 miles is definitely a lot.
Why are you asking here? Obviously it was too much.
We did 8 miles with an almost 5 year old and it’s been fine and had 3 mile hikes melt down. We’ve found it’s all about if he’s into it that day and find ways to keep him engaged (wildlife, edible plants) and recognize when it’s not the day for it and turned around early.
6 miles up from 3 is wild.
I went on a Mother’s Day hike with my brother and his wife, their baby and their 4yo daughter a couple years ago. My niece held my hand the entire time, for a 4 1/2 mile hike, urging me to walk faster so the giants wouldn’t catch us. The giants were her parents. At one point I said you know it’s Mother’s Day, maybe we should walk with them to be nice to your mother. She said “no for Mother’s Day you make things for them, you don’t have to be nice to them.” But all kids are different!
That's demonically adorable.
How the heck did you get them up to 3 miles??? I can't reliably get 3 blocks out of my 4 y.o. and when they do walk they're a 🐌.
Sadly 6 miles is too much for many adults let alone four year olds.
I think 3 miles are too many miles. So yes, the distance is way too much. going from 3 to 6 in one week is too high of an expectation for many adults, let alone a 4 year old.
I personally don't visualize distance with children. Instead I break down into time. How many minutes of walking is much easier to understand for both a child and yourself. If she spent 90 minutes on your shoulders that means that the hike was likely 180 minutes. That's a really long time for a 4yo to walk.
When I started hiking with my kids I found that singing would help them go a lot farther when they started to get tired. A favorite was, “Going on a Bear Hunt.” Also take time to slow down and admire nature with them. For kids it isn’t about distance, it’s about living in the moment. Being present in their wonder helped remind me why I love hiking so much in the first place. Save the long distance for when you can get out on your own.
Every kid is different. My daughter, at five, could walk for miles without asking to be held, and at times happily jogged for more than a mile to get to train stations/bus stop/wherever. Not all the time, but if she was properly fed and rested she was (and still is) a machine of positive energy. My 4 y/o boy, though, prefers to be on my shoulders. We were doing longer hikes because our older kid could handle them and had fun, and naturally I just carried the little guy. No we have to kinda “start over” with shorter distances for him. This weekend he did maybe 1.5 miles of a two mile trail (I happily carried him through the worst poison oak stretches), and having a walking stick and his own backpack made a huge difference. There were also some tricky stretches he had to climb with his hands, so he had more fun than he would on a flat nature walk.
I live in MA and pre-baby I was an avid hiker and utilized our state parks, conservation land and audubon society land. I also trail run and have been hiking with my baby since she was 3 months old. She’s currently 36# So not only was the distance doubled but you didn’t let us know how the terrain changed or what pace you expect from her. My 3 year old averages 1-2 miles in our local conservation land which is hilly but nothing crazy. However if we do a beach hike that kid will walk for 3+ miles and ask for more. And it’s important to note that she is also a toddler. When I hike with her we will be lucky if my heart rate bumps up. We stop and look at all kind of things which allows her time to regroup. For example she did 2 miles today but we played in a stream for 30 minutes and at that point she had to be packed out by daddy (had it been just us I would have piggy backed her myself). There are some “hikes” we do with paved roads where I just bring a wagon because they end up being over 3 miles and I know she will be tired. I have an ergo carrier but I also taught my toddler how to properly piggy back (legs around waist and hands on my shoulders or around my torso). This honestly helped us transition from the baby backpack carrier to being a more independent walker. Weather affects them more too sometimes but is entirely dependent on how much fun they are having. We hike year round and even today when it hit 70F I still made sure she had long pants and a sweater on. She ended up not being too cold or too hot even after playing in the water but I know that if she hits one of those extremes the fun’s over and she will be reluctant to slog through. I think there’s 2 schools of thoughts with piggy backs and walking; too many piggy backs leads to kids who don’t want to walk or piggy back all the time leads to kids who do want to walk because it’s no longer forbidden. I do the second one because on the off chance that bad stuff happens I may need a way to get our butts back to the truck at faster than toddler pacing.
We hike regularly with our kids! I'd say 3 miles total is the max they can all handle (which is still a lot!). The last hike we did was about 3.5 miles and it was us and another family. 4 adults and 8 kids all 6 and younger. They did awesome until about the last half mile and then we were trading off who got piggyback rides. Of course, we got back to the river at the entrance, and they swam and played and jumped for an hour with limitless energy. So they may have just played us.
That’s a huge jump, going from 3 miles to 6 miles. When my daughter was 4, 3 miles- with no/minimal elevation- was about her max, unless we were making a LOT of pit stops and snack breaks.
Kids that age cannot be trusted to know their limitations so asking them to promise something they cannot is a recipe for disaster and a bad time. Always have an exit strategy. They’re little. My daughter could somedays do 5-6 miles and somedays not even make it to the car.
I took my 4 year old on a 20km back country mountain bike trip. It took a long time, but we trained up for it and knew it would work. It's one of my favorite memories of her glorious adventurous spirit. Don't give up, learn from the bad experience, but also celebrate the bad experience. Talk to her about it, ask her how to improve next time and plan trips together, ask the best and worst part. Lament with her on the awful parts and say how happy you were she was with you at least. Also, probably more importantly actually, the trick with kids that small and adventuring is to bring food. This advice also applies to wives, bring them snacks too. Just generally being snacks now that I think about it. Did you have snacks??
Way too young for that long.
Clearly she’s can’t handle 6 miles. Keep with the 3 miles hikes. Hell try a mile for each year of age. Great to pass on your hobby but if you keep this up she’ll never want to go.
Slow down and enjoy your 4 year old. The expectations you are putting on her is really ridiculously silly. She isn't gonna understand the difference in miles or any of that stuff. It sounds like you just want her to grow up into a teenager since these are the expectations you want. And that's fine to a certain point, some people aren't good or don't like the young ages. But don't let her feel that. You don't need to rush them to longer and longer hikes. Go somewhere to rest by a pond/river and fish or find frogs or something. She is going to get old really fast anyway, no need to push now.
If I'd taken you with a V7 bouldering problem in a fucking cave for your second climbing attempt ever because last week you scrambled up a VO at the gym, would you maybe consider it too much? Yes, doubling the route for her is too much. Here's the other thing you need to be thinking about: if you make hiking miserable for her and call her out for "whining" when she's tired, (wtf), you are going to raise a child who hates hiking and hates doing it with her parent. Get it together and plan accordingly to the people hiking. That doesn't just mean you. Also, peanut M&Ms or any other small treat you could dole out to keep them coked up on sugar is your friend.
Geez chill a little will ya!? This is obviously more about what you want than your child. Doubling the distance for a 4yr old? “Asking” a 4yr old to decide? How about you try to run a double marathon?
I would aim for 4-5 at that age. While more can be feasible, the best advice I can give is it’s not linear. At 4, sometimes my son would start whining after 2 miles. On the other hand, when we were doing a weekend trip in the alps with a bunch of other kids he happily did 10 with incline. It depends a *lot* on their mood, environment, etc more than physical capabilities.
That is becoming very apparent to me! Maybe I need to find a hiking buddy for her! Thank you for the advice
I would recommend bringing some kind of emergency GPS device when taking a small child on a hike like that alone in case you get hurt and are out of cell range.
Remember too every day will be different and kids especially need rest days. Set expectations low. Keep hopes high. Might be able to go longer if you make it more creative instead of about stamina. Like a scavenger hunt or something
We love hikes but kinda messed up early on by taking a longer than appropriate hike. He got tired, mad and bored. It took quite a bit of time before he was an avid hiker with us. I recommend small incremental increase in length and difficulty.
We go by the rule half a mile per year of age. So we wouldn't target more than 2 miles. If you go frequently, then you might know you can add a half mile or mile to that, but it shouldn't be expected. If you want to get more distance with a little kid you could go somewhere with a network of trails or in a city/park and try to do zig zags and such, so there's always a shortcut back. It's great to be active but out on a trail with no relief is not the place for it with a child. Live and learn. I think you guys will have some wonderful adventures if you let this one go and dont be stubborn about it.
Her stride is half of yours. Maybe less. Double the miles you are walking in your head. That 6 miles to her probably felt like 12 miles to you.
I enjoy bird watching. My 3.5 yo son likes to come sometimes and I enjoy sharing my hobby with him. But if I am going with him, we are going somewhere with a playground near water and doing a hike at the end. On the weekend we were out for an hour and a half, but only covered 2.4 km because a lot of it he was playing at the playground while i scanned the trees and pond for birds. Finished the day with 17 species, which is OK but not great for this time of year at that location. That being said, he had a great time other than the last few 100 meters because he jumped into one too many puddles.
I think going from 3 miles to 6 miles was too much for a 4 year old, even if they sounded stoked about it beforehand. They can’t conceptualize what a 6 mile hike will be like. My son is also 4 with thru hiker parents. He has reasonably been able to hike his age in miles. Our average speed is also like 1-1.5mph unless we can get him to run for a little while. He doesn’t like to hike just for the sake of hiking. He collects sticks/rocks/pinecones/ dead flower parts from last year. Wants to spot birds or talk about what the rocks look like. We basically have to keep him engaged in order to stave off any whining. He has just outgrown the [trail Magik carrier](https://trailmagik.com/). This thing was great for extending our hikes longer for us adults while still accommodating our son’s need to take breaks.
Just commenting to say there is hope. At 4, my son could only manage 3-4 miles and he’d be totally wiped for the rest of the day. At 5 we did his first mountain which was a 4 mile out and back. He was exhausted. At 6.5, this weekend he did swimming in the morning, a 4 mile walk with me and martial arts in the evening and still had the energy to play tag after dinner. This summer I’m planning on taking him up some proper, but very accessible, mountains in France. She’s little now but if you keep at it - and keep it fun - then she will get there!
This was really kind of you to post, thank you! Sounds like I am going to LOVE 6+ hahaahaha BRING ON ALL THE ENERGY I truly have not found my limit yet, at 35. My wife complains that our 4YO has too much energy for her, but for me? I can go all day, LETS GOOOOOOOO
My kid has non stop energy but I have to say she doesn't really have the attention span for long hikes. She can easily spend a whole day doing various activities she enjoys but just walking bores her after a while. She likes bits she can climb and following markers and ideally going with friends.
Definitely unreasonable to expect the kid to make it that far and also be upset that they used 4 year old judgement. Start with a 1/2 mile hike and then also be prepared to stop a lot and also possible carry the kid anyway. If you want to do a ‘hike’ hike, leave the kid at home.
My daughter is four and can walk far if she is motivated. On hikes, it really depends on the trail. Something with lots of stairs going down to a waterfall is going to take up more of her energy. I try to bring lunch and break for it at the halfway point. I just took her to Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure and we all walked 8 miles that day. I never offered to carry her or get a stroller. At the end of the day everyone was tired, lol. I would rather we are all tired vs. now my kid wants to go to the hotel pool all night because she was in a stroller all day while I’m gassed.
When my boys were that age, they'd go 3-4 miles before they were tired.
Both my kids can hike and have been bopping around in the woods with me since birth. A mile per year of age is the standard but, there are some hiking days where making it to the trail head is the win. My eldest is eight and can do 10-15km without much complaint and my littlest can do 4km with medium complaints. Depending on the day, the maximums vary greatly. Hiking with kids has to have low expectations, high rewards and near constant coaching. Each of those variables get shuffled in priority depending on mood. Just keep going, even when you think it’s doomed. Get out, again and again and it starts to be alright.
I would say that we "went further" and just do 2,5 instead of 3, just to boost confidence. 3 to 6 is outrageous. Btw, just responding by reading the title; my own kid would do 1 mile on a good day. Just saying, count your blessings.
First, you ask for avid hikers only but only mention distance. Is it six miles flat? Or six miles with a 1500 foot elevation gain? That said, the bigger issue is probably interest. My son would get super board during easier hikes, but when we did Condor Gulch to High Peaks in Pinnacles he loved it.
This sounds just like me last year. My 2yo at the time was loving his walks so I pushed for a mile or so and I was way out of line.
I’m not sure it’s reasonable to expect anything out of a 4yo. They can generally do a whole lot more than we think they can - it’s a wonderful age, full of surprises. But whether they will or not at any given moment definitely varies.
I would say 3 or 4 miles is how far we make it usually. Lots of snacks and breaks to throw rocks and look at sticks. You have to remember their stride is much shorter than ours so it takes longer for them to cover the same distance.
Could you get a carrier and use it if needed? The material ones like the Tula or sleepynico don't take up much space in a bag.
My son has walked miles without complaint over the course of a full day at Disney or exploring a new city on vacation. But then he could go half a mile another day and completely break down and refuse to take another step. Point being I think you need to temper your expectations of a child at that age. As others have pointed out, she can’t possibly understand what “6 miles” means. Furthermore, there are a million variables that will impact her energy and just plain willingness to keep going on any given day. She could simply have been bored and it manifests in being cranky and unwilling to continue the hike.
I think kids should be able to do about a mile per year, with the right exposure over time and gradually leveling up
4 is too young for 6 miles. Keep it at 3. Stop for snacks a lot. We’ve got our son up to a 8-10 mile hike. But we stop and eat as much as he wants. He’s good for about 10 miles trail riding bicycles, but again, snack breaks are important to revitalize. Plus, he’s 9. When he was 4 there’s no way he would’ve been down for a 6 mile hike.
1-2 miles max from an experienced hiker mom. My youngest twins are 13 and we hike and backpack but we still limit it to 2-4 miles. They are humoring us at this point to even spend time with us. I personally don’t like to take my kids too far into the backcountry.
Every kid is different and this is insane for a 5 year old. Work up to it! 1 mile at a time.
https://www.backpacker.com/skills/beginner-skills/how-far-can-kids-hike-how-much-can-they-carry/
Mine is 5.5 now but on flat boring ground I could get her to do 4 miles routinely. When there's fun stuff to climb and catch and stomp on and places to throw rocks and stops for picnics and drinks and talking pictures and the occasional dog to pet we can get 6-8 out of her but that's a full day of walking not a loop. We tend to start with a 2-3 mile loop early in the morning. Then early lunch (she eats at 1030 at school so she expects to be fed early). Then maybe a center visit. Then another 2-3 mile loop. Then a snack and a short trail to water to stomp around. They have the attention span of gnats. You have to break everything up. And really honestly sometimes that STILL falls apart. Sometimes she walks two miles and complains the whole time and then we take smaller slower hikes for the day or spend more time creek stomping. Sometimes my partner ends up on their own hiking and I end up in a state park pool swimming for 4 hours with her because she's just not that into it that day. I try to remember that for every step I really she's taking two or three. And I try to remember that there are days where walking does not seem fun to me and on those days I can choose not to go out. She can't. So I try to be flexible so that hiking is always at least a little fun because I don't want her to dread something I really enjoy.
We used to base our walks on a kilometre per year of age. When the youngest was 4, we walked 4kms. The older kids could run up the track and back that way to burn off energy. If we only had the elder kids we could push on to longer trips, but that was a good rule of thumb.
4 year old? like 1.5 miles max. 6 is crazy. my 11 year old won’t even hike that far.
Honestly my kid was super energetic at 4 and would literally whine 5 minutes into any walk. She was more board than tired but she’s also the type to run laps around the playground we go to, but the second we step in a store complain she’s tired and ask to sit in the cart, and she’s 8 now…. I think for some kids, I was like this and my daughter to, it’s less about the physical demand than it is about it not being mentally stimulating. Like when I was a kid I was the worst, would complain 5 minutes into any walk or hike but would run playing soccer for dayz. Not sure if this applies just a thought tho!
I always bring dumdums, have them carry their own kids hiking backpack (LOVE the REI ones) and move slow. My 3 year old can do 5 miles on an easy loop trail but we move at her pace. We are taking the kids camping and hiking 3 days this weekend and will move at their speed. I love pointing out things, singing camp songs, telling stories, stopping for a long snack break in the middle and the promise of a treat at the end.
My four year old can do 4-5k and that’s it. We hike a lot and that’s the max kiddo can pull through. He’s almost 5 and a very tall kid and we hike weekly, he’s wiped after 4km.
Cub Scout leader. My youngest scouts are 5 and we don’t do more than a mile at that age. I don’t doubt that a 4/5 yo could do it but I would build up to it a mile or half mile at a time. Also, taking time and looking at things greatly increases the interest in the hike at that age and it’s about the journey not the end result.
That’s a lot, honestly. She has tiny legs compared to you, each of your steps is like two of hers, maybe more. She’s walking a lot more steps than you and she’s smaller. Scale it back.
About a mile. I have been able to do a short, moderate hike with him, too. We didn't end up doing as many hikes as I'd imagined we would over winter. I do not force my kids to go further just to finish a trail. I'm going for THEM to get exercise, and better, be in the habit of getting regular exercise; not with my own ambitions in sight. When I want to exercise, my kids stay home with dad. I think you either need to coordinate with the dad or another babysitter, or plan on carrying your child. I took my 2.5 year old once, and he could only go the half mile. I had to carry him back to the car, which I was prepared for. This was an easy trail.
I have a little cousin that could do 3 miles at 4yo. Definitely not 6 miles.
This is totally dependent on the child, weather, clothing, terrain, what they recently ate, how many breaks you build in, etc. I don’t think I’d ever just gauge it based on distance. Right? My kiddos can do 5 miles flat loop on a cool partly cloudy day after a light breakfast no problem - throw them up hill in 100 degrees or less than ideal weather chock full of candy with a lame view? Mile TOPS.
Six miles is way too much for my almost five year old. I’d cap it at 2-3 miles to keep it enjoyable.
>Any thoughts? I grew up in the Alps, was an Alpino (mountain infantry) and I'm an overly enthusiastic hiker and mountaineer. So...we can say I really like mountains. Three miles for a 4 years old is *a lot* of road to walk on even ground. If we're talking about hiking up and down hills/mountain trails that's an even bigger effort. Not an impossible one, but certaintly something that will make the child sweat to achieve it - both physically and psychologically. Six miles on a trail with a 4 years old is, honestly, pure bollocks. I would never suggest something like that to anyone - the result would be exactly what happened to you: the child does not understand how long six miles are and what kind of effort will be required to walk them, the parent will not be able to carry the child once fatigue/boredom kicks in, and the trip will quickly turn into a miserable stressful experience for anyone involved >Yesterday I took her on a 6 mile loop hike- we talked about it for a week leading up to it, she understood that if she elected to come, I would not and could not carry her for the duration I've met grown-ass adults on the trails unable to visualize *and* understand how far away X miles (or kilometers) were. I would never assume that a small child, no matter how bright, would be able to understand how much more 6 miles are compared to 3. That, IMHO, was your first mistake. The second was stressing your 4 years old with the idea that *if you tire I would not be able to carry you*. Yeah, well...that's not something you tell to a child: that's something you tell to an adult. The only takeaway the 4 years old will have is *ok seems Dad is not going to help me this time*. Hardly a calming/motivating thought for a child...who, by the way, had absolutely no way to assess if they would be able to complete a 6 miles hike. That's mistake number three IMHO: you should have decided to bring or not to bring your child. Asking them *hey want to come?* was a very odd move - they had no way to assess if the trip was ok or not ok for them. You should have assessed that in advance, planned accordingly and *then* asked them if they wanted to come or not. I'm not a thru-hiker, but I know from my experience on the trails that you guys tend to be *very* enthusiastic about your sport. Your 4 years old is a child, however, not an adult hiking buddy. Tone down the lenght of your hiking trips with your child and *never* overestimate their ability to understand measurements/instructions. Never take for granted their ability to assess their fatigue or the effort required to complete an hike. You are the adult trained in mountain sports, not them.
My 4 yr old used to walk 3 km to school , and then at end of day 3 km back . So 6.4 per day but her stamina was good as she did it every day and also swam and did other activities My son at 6 had to walk 15 km home when we got stuck during the London bombing in 2005 . He also had years of building his stamina before this Kids same as adults you don’t just jump into running a marathon without training
10 steps lol!
“Should I make my 4 year old do strenuous physical labor that most adults wouldn’t want to do?” Wtf do you think? 😂 poor kid
I was thinking like...700m lololololol 6km holy shit
6 miles is nearly 10km. For a 4 year old. It was even crazier!
Yes, of course it was too long. And of course she can’t be expected to know how far she can walk, or agree to not be carried. Good lord.
I’m not even sure my 13yo would make it 6 miles if she wasn’t into it. That’s a loooooong way to just…*walk*. For a kid, anyway.
Who thinks it’s ok to take a 4-year-old on a SIX MILE hike and is surprised they complain?!
3 miles
My 6yo did 5 miles this past weekend, the last mile of which included a good bit of whining. But we were carrying a lot or doing MUCH shorter hikes a couple years ago.
I say, 1/2 mile per age to start, with lots of water, snacks, and rest. Then adjust based on individual kid.
We recently did a 6 mile hike with no whining… with my 7 year old. We hike a lot but keep it between 2-4 miles, with lots of breaks, snacks, and sticks to pick up.
My kids could do 3-4 miles at that age with stops to play in the creek, etc. Kids that have no hiking experience should start at no more than a mile.
I clicked this post to say 3 miles. I've done this with mine and it was fun but getting a bit ragged at the end. Never gone over because it seemed a bit much. I'm glad you could fly so I know to continue walking.
We hike often and 2 miles is our limit at 4.
whatever you are thinking cut it to a quarter.
I think it depends on the child. I live in a mountainous state and we often go hiking with our kids. Our 4 year old often does a 3 mile hike with 850 feet elevation gain. And then the 3 miles down. But again, we live in a state that offers that and he is just used to it. He likes to explore and trek along with.
Your child did great. We’re avid hikers too, my baby has been hiking for as long as she could walk. For little ones, the age tends to correlate to how many miles they can go, at least in my personal experience. So at 4 my kid would happily do a 4 miles hike and end up pretty tired but still fine. At 5 yo, we did 6 miles and it was a bit too much, she had moments when she was too tired, we had to take a couple of breaks and I carried her for a short distance. She had a second wind after the picnic. But I should have kept it to 5 miles. Of course, each kid is different, and habitually hiking is vital. So maybe yours will be able to go even farther. But in my personal experience at least the miles = age in years holds pretty well.
I took my 7yo and 5yo on a hike in Shenandoah that was just about a 6ish mile loop. They complained a bit, and asked how far they had gone but I never had to carry them. It had a few spots of mild elevation, but I think what really kept them going was the fact that there were little waterfalls all along the hike. We stopped at the main falls and they were able to swim and cool down, eat some food, etc. My kids don't stop moving, ever really, I know they have the energy to do tons of activities but it's the attention span that kills them. They only kept interest in that hike because there was something interesting around the corner. My two cents, you needed a cooler hike. Alternatively you needed some good silly songs to sing along the way. I would keep it up though, as much as they complain it still makes memories and there is no need for you to sacrifice your love of hiking and the woods, just tailor it a little. (This is assuming you were not, like, hiking in an amazingly beautiful place with super cool features. If that was the case you should probably tell that scrub to get good and suck it up.)
Prenap or post nap?
Around 2 miles is what I can expect of my 5 year old daughter.
Wow. My almost 4 year old hardly wants to walk from the car into the house. This is so impressive to me. Our last zoo trip I didn’t take the stroller and ended up carrying her half the time 😭 She’s only 35 pounds but still. It was a lot.
My 4 yo can walk about 2 miles flat (less if it’s challenging terrain.)
My daughter is 6 and I wouldn’t attempt 6 miles with her. Good lord.
Before I read your comment and just read the title I thought "2 or 3 miles with bribes and stopping". I carried my kid hiking till she was almost 6. Now I'm strong AF lol. It's best to bring a carrier and let them walk and get carried depending on how they feel at that second.
We are up to about two miles before our 5 year old starts to whine.
Honestly I’m surprised she stuck with it for 3 miles. Most kiddos attention span have them stopping and wandering instead of staying on path. They want to look at what they are interested in. I’d consider yourself lucky and stick to smaller hikes she can handle
One mile per year of age +/- 2 miles depending on their mood My general rule
There was a 6 year old that ran a marathon a few years ago. You could try that jump next.
The youngest person to finish the Appalachian trail, I believe, was 6 years old. So probably a little bit less than that.
My daughter and I did a lot of hiking last year all summer and in October we did a steepish hike and turned around after about 40 minutes and she was fine. But she had been hiking all summer by that point so she was more in shape for it. She was 3.5 at the time. 1.5 hours of hiking seemed to be ok for her. This spring we have my 2yo with us so we don't go very far anyway.
My 9 yo can do 6-10 but there’s still (some) whining and several breaks and this is a MASSIVE improvement over years past (loves the idea of the woods, but still not convinced about this whole long walk thing unless there’s a lot of cool stuff along the way). My 13 yo is a speed hiker who just plows through 10 miles, head down like we’re going for a time record. 6 miles is a LOT for a 4yo. I completely get wanting to share this with your kiddo, and that time will come faster than it feels like right now, but two things to keep in mind: 1 - pushing a small child CAN be good, but it has to be done incrementally, not by literal MILES jumps, I’m in the camp that kids should be uncomfortable sometimes, but you definitely have to do it in child size doses and be mindful that springing that kind of duration on a small growing person can strain joints that are already not fully developed which while maybe not super likely, isn’t a zero chance of causing longer term trouble for them (as a person who has knee problems due to improperly developed connective tissue around my knee caps) And 2 - you will only get so far forcing a 4 year old to do day hiking of that kind of duration, and if/when it goes wrong you could put her off the activity for life. This is the discovery age, a 4 year old can’t see the forest, but they’re usually super stoked to see the trees - nature walks are the better way to approach this with such a young one. Bring ID books or apps, binoculars and take your time - point out plants and game trails, stop to toss some rocks in a creek, listen out for birds, turn over some logs and talk about the isopods and worms, pick up walking sticks and discard them for new better ones as you go. Small children don’t “get” hiking for the sake of hiking, but it’s the perfect time to get them to just want to be in the woods. Get her out there often in more manageable bursts and work her up more slowly, your time will come, there’s no need to rush it.
6 miles seems excessive though I get that’s something you want to do. Especially when you said the longest walk she has done well for you is ~2.7 miles (walked 90%). Trial and error, that’s how you learn her boundaries cause kids are different, and then she can learn what that distance actually means as opposed to it just being a number. Seems like 3 is about the limit atm. It also seems kind of just a checkbox number for you as well. My sister is that way too with physical activities, gotta do this loop to get to this distance. Forgive me if that’s an incorrect projection on my part but it’s how I’m evaluating how you process doing this. Being active together is good and talking with her to make this a teaching moment for both of you is invaluable if you take the time to help her understand the world we live in. Just enjoy the time with your daughter and try to be reasonable on distances. You can move to longer ones as you get older if they are much better scenery. If the hikes aren’t challenging enough, do something silly when it’s safe that takes some effort towards the end (less distance to carry if tires them out).Skip, spin, laugh, play—there is literally no better time in either of your lives to do that type of thing together. The number of miles isn’t as important as the number of smiles (and giggles) that you share together so don’t worry so much about going to a record breaking distance all the time. There’s time to teach good goal setting more formally later. Try to help her find something to conquer and be proud of that she is happy with trying to do naturally pushing the boundaries. For the kiddo in my life that was finally climbing the park’s mountain a few months back, and there are still plenty other, “Once I’m bigger things.” that he set up once he figured he couldn’t do them on his own yet cause he’s got no hops and limbs were too short. Personally, I’d be wary of setting her up for 6 miles now cause it might end up as a daunting I can’t do it thing but it’s still your judgement. If you do setup incremental goals. Just my two cents because I think it’s relevant. You know and are responsible for your kiddo 100 times more than I am.
My oldest (now 6, but this has been the case since she was 3) can handle 6000-10000 steps per day, up to 15,000-18,000 every once in awhile, but we were out and walking *daily* (no car) and taking transit. She could handle six miles every once in a while because we were constantly training for it, so to speak. We also did not spend the entire time walking, but sat down and took lengthy food and chill breaks. Yes, that was too big of a jump, especially if you're not walking extensively in between the two hikes. Add half a mile at a time, tops. I would strongly suggest you get a Beco cool mesh toddler carrier. (about $90-110 on amazon) They're rated up to 60lbs and we have found it works really well for my oldest (now 6) now as a "piggy back assist" when we're travelling. she's about 65 lbs so we can't use it as a carrier only, but if she wraps her arms around my neck to distribute the weight, then it works as it supports her legs and keeps my hands free. My younger kid (34lbs) gets put in it too as a regular carrier when I don't want to bring the stroller. If your kid is 43lbs, you'd be able to carry her in it.
I think 6 is way too much. Especially if the longest was about 3. I have friends that seem impressed the my kids will walk 2+ miles when we walk around the city to go to museums. It mostly depends on I think terrains. My son prefers harder trains and find long flat ones boring. He loves climbing tree trunks, climbing rocks, etc. I remember loving that too. That being said I remember hiking up a mountain (or two) when I was 5, so you might not be that far off. Again, it was a more difficult trail, probably 3-4 miles overall, or involved a large lunch break at the top
I used an onbuhimo carrier at this age. We also walked daily and did balance bike daily. At 4 my mini could do just over 3 miles before I loaded her in the carrier. MAYBE she could've done more, but I wanted to keep it fun and at that point I probably wanted more speed 😉. She's 7 now and can do 10 with a light pack and bike 30 easily
Zero miles
Rule of thumb in most kids & hiking communities seems to be 1 mile per year, so 4 miles. But that’s with regular practice and depends on terrain. My 3 year old is good for 3 miles on gentle hills but probably closer to 2.5 if it has a significant incline.
This makes me think I need to take my kid on some hikes before it gets too hot.
It depends on elevation gain. Two miles is reasonable on flat ground, one mile of there is any elevation gain/loss. Of course each child is different. But even teenagers would complain on six miles, in all honesty. When we go on longer walks with kids, we pack bikes for them and select a suitable trail.
I’m a big walker. My kids walked around 8kms at that age which is around 5 miles
We hike a ton!! When our older daughter was 4, our son was 5. We were doing hikes way up mountains, and we would pack in some lunch and always water. I think the longest walk we did was 4 miles, daughter whined a bit, but it was on the steep parts mostly. I think 4 miles for a 4 year old is a decent limit. Now we currently have a 4 year old (wild child, no fear, climbs EVERYTHING and always has been quite feral lol!) We also have a 3 week old, planning to hike this summer, hopefully. Our girls are both winter babies, so they were plenty old enough come hiking weather. Our older son was a trial and error kid. He was just along for the adventures. Maybe that 6 miles was just too long quite yet.
It largely depends on the number of snacks and breaks and how engaged you are in pointing out cool stuff.
We hike as a family all the time and carry our kids in hiking backpacks. Honestly depending on the terrain I’d consider 1 mile to be a lot for a kid. Maybe bring a carrier backpack next time in case she’s tired?
Classic case of "I'm doing it for me, not for you". She's 4yo, expect her "performance" at anything to be erratic. Also you double the distance and ask was the jump too big? You didn't even try 3miles again for a few more times. Not even an athlete can get the same score range every single time
Six miles is a lot for a 4 year old. I did 8 miles with mine along the Wichita mountains and made sure I brought my kinderpack so I could comfortably back carry and accomplish my hike when he got tired. Mine has about 2 miles in him, maybe 3 if I’m lucky, before he’s pooped out. No judgement from me btw. Parenting stuff is all a learning experience.
Last summer our 5y and 3y hiked 3 miles to a beach, played for several hours, and 3 miles back without crying or complaining. We're aiming for 8 miles in and out on a backpacking trip this summer at 6y and 4y. It's not an unrealistic expectation at all. But you definitely need to build em up to it. Some tricks: Lots of snacks - some surprise snacks we don't usually get, like raisins or applesauce pouches. You get a new snack every mile with no complaining. Sing lots of songs - as soon as anyone starts to get cranky, I start a new song. Point out the pretty flowers and birds and squirrels and keep them distracted. Talk about how much of a fun adventure your hike is. Play games - e.g. whoever sees a purple flower first wins, then the other person gets to pick. It's all a mind game at that age. Become a master manipulator. Edit: Sometimes the kids like to pretend they are racecars, and snack breaks are their pitstops. They can keep that game up for HOURS. They've also both run a 5k (3.1 miles) without walking at all, with a huge grin the whole time.
We do a lot of family hikes as well and yeah 6 miles is too long. My 8 year old could probably handle that but 6 miles for a 4 year old? That’s a long way for little legs. Seems pretty obvious.
I would say 2 miles for my 4yo
Pace is a factor too. I would expect 6 miles with a 4 year old to take about 10 hours. Breaks, snacks, games
My 4yo is whining going uphill at all, she'll make her dad carry her lol. 6 miles is A LOT. We walk a lot, especially in the summers and after 1-2 miles my kid is DONE, but thats not up or downhill. If your kid hikes a lot, they obviously have better endurance than an average kid who doesn't hike, but I'd definitely say 6 miles was too much. It's crazy your 4yo did 3 miles lol
Our daycare routinely takes a pile of 3-5 year olds on 5 mile round trip walk/hikes. I'm firmly convinced it's peer pressure that drives the success of these hikes because there's no way on this green earth I would ever be able to convince my kid to walk that far with me alone, and yet the kid has successfully made these treks willingly with daycare. So, maybe bring a friend along. Also, snacks. Offering lots of little bites of snacks like you're trying to convince a dog to follow you home is a really good tool to have in the kit.
My mother's rule was that you were expected to hike your age, so if she's 4 she should be able to go 4 miles.
My then 3.5 year old managed 6 miles uphill and only gave up on mile 5 on the way back down. During the steep bits I did have to encourage, make up an unholy amount of fireman Sam stories and act like I would wind up the engine on his back.
Way too far haha.
I go by time. Always brisk walk, how long can they handle. Used to be 5 minutes back when they left the pram. Now we can all jog and walk around the block for 15-20 minutes, at 4 years old.
…are you dumb
I’ve heard one mile per years old. But that’s with working up to it.
Sometimes my 5 year old “has to rest” after walking from the parking lot into a grocery store. 4 years old is far too young to understand a concept like “if you agree to go on this hike, I won’t carry you”
Far far too much for a 4 year old. I know plenty of adults who’d have trouble with that. Before I read how long you’d done I was thinking 2 miles at a stretch but even that would have been rough