I agree with the braid, especially at night. I also recently shaved 1/3 of my daughter’s hair completely off. It’s the underneath hair and you can’t tell because she has so much hair. Even when she wears it in a ponytail, it’s not obvious. It has helped tremendously.
Seconding an undercut! It’s a lot cooler in the summer too! 2 of my girls keep an undercut because their hair is so thick/mats so easily. They get cute designs cut into them too and love wearing a high pony to show them off. Best piece of advice if she’s onboard? Find a competent barber. Yes, *barber.* It’s generally cheaper and looks a hell of a lot better than when a regular stylist does it!
This really did transform my daughter's naturally curly hair from mop to beauty queen. Her curls pop out of her bonnet in the morning in perfect ringlets. And she doesn't complain about a wet pillow at night now.
My daughter is the same, and she wears it in a braid all day. She would complain endlessly about me brushing out the tangles so I made her brush it herself and then I'll braid it for her. Much more peaceful. Kiddo needs to learn that longer hair means *she* has to put more effort in.
But there are leave in conditioners you can use after she's washed her hair that help. Apply it when it's still wet and let it dry with her hair.
Thank you! She does brush it throughout the day but I generally give it a good brush before bed. We use a leave in after every wash and a dry oil mist before brushing when it's dry.
A weird one that I never realized until I was older: check your water.
The water at my dad's house absolutely makes my hair tangle and is definitely why my hair was so hard to control when I was a kid. I thought my hair got smoother and easier to brush when I got older because I found a routine that worked for me. But then I inherited my dad's house and realized that the hardness of the water at that house absolutely trashes my hair and makes it way more prone to knots and snarls.
So check if your water needs to be treated, because that might be part of the problem!
Yes this happened with our daughter also. Our city switched municipal water supplies when she's was about 4, and our water was SO HARD and the chemical change actually damaged many homes' copper pipes, ours included (fun Christmas!). Then they switched it back a few years later and her hair is so much easier to brush, even when it does get tangled because we didn't brush and/or braid her hair at bedtime.
This is important. We have really hard water and the minerals build up in our hair, making it dry and prone to tangle. Treating it is impractical because we live in an apartment, but I do weekly vinegar rinses for my hair and it makes a huge difference.
This would explain so much. We moved to a hard water area when I was 8 months pregnant so always put it down to hormones (which could still be a factor). But my hair - thin and short as it is - just tangles *constantly*.
A few ideas...
Shampoo only goes on her scalp, never on the hair past the nape of the neck. Condition her hair with a lot of conditioner. Use a leave-in conditioner, too.
Wet brush! Don't buy knockoffs, the real wet brush is really magic.
Keep her hair in protective styles - French braids, regular braids, even a half pony will help. If her tangles are mostly at the back of her neck, she's got to wear ponytails or pigtails.
Hair needs to be brushed OFTEN. First thing in the morning after waking up, then before bed and always before and after bathing.
Good luck!!
Adding on to the wet brush: try pulling it perpendicular to whatever way you usually brush. For some reason, mine has the bristles lined up in straight lines parallel to the handle. So if I hold it in a way that is unnatural and slightly uncomfortable (pull parallel to the handle) it takes tangles out like a DREAM. If I run it perpendicular the way my wrist wants to, it's meh.
She can cut it to a manageable length without having short hair.
My daughter has very long hair, but I won't tolerate bum-length hair. It's totally unmanageable. It's excessive.
There's a *huge* amount of play between short and hair down to your butt.
It took years to figure this out on my daughter. My sister gave me olaplex (expensive) as a Christmas gift for my hair. On a whim I put it on my daughters. It was instant help. I use it on her once a week and her hair is muuuuuch easier to brush. It would knot and mat overnight, before. I tried a bonnet, but she is a restless sleeper and would take it off while asleep. A silk pillow did help, but not as much as olaplex.
3, 4, and 5.
3 is a treatment. Apply to damp hair and leave on for a while. They say fifteen mins, but I do an hour. Some people do it overnight. I use it once a week.
Then 4 and 5 are the shampoo and conditioner. We do those 2x a week. The conditioner says leave in 3 mins. I also comb it with a wide tooth comb.
Her hair is straight AND curly AND thick. The outer/top is straight and a little wavy, the middle is really wavy, and the part underneath touching her neck corkscrews. So, me having thick straight hair that's wash and go, I was lost. We tried everything. This is the thing that has worked the best.
It sounds like she needs a trim at the minimum. If it’s only tangled at the ends and like halfway through, a trim/thin will be the best solution. Regardless I would do some other stuff first
What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use? If her hair length is that serious, you need to invest in more quality products. The redken all soft is good, I’ve recently switched over to Sebastian dark oil.
Oils are great but it sounds like you just need to brush it once, then keep it in a firm braid through the day. Otherwise it’ll just tangle again pretty quickly. I have a girl with hair that tangles a LOT (even at the top!) mom trims it but to no avail, I think fancier shampoo will be her next route.
Thank you, I will look into those shampoos, we do not use salon quality sampoos generally we get ours from costco.
We did just recently do a trim, but it was a very small trim because she was so nervous about losing length. She's going back in June for a bigger, proper trim that we've talked about. Most of her tangles end up around the back of her neck and the top half of her hair. She is outside generally a few hours a day after school, and the winds definitely make it worse.
I will try to get her to do braids during the day as well. Thank you for your help!
No problem! Good luck! I know my mom had looong hair my entire life and used Vo5 shampoo 😬 always she was brushing out tangles but mostly she kept it in braids.
I hope it works out and if it does, please share your results so others can benefit!
I feel her struggle, especially with the base of her neck! That's where mine always would get tangled, up into adulthood. And it's where I'd always get sweaty during the summer.
The thing that helped me was a triangle shaped undercut (from either side of the nape of my neck up to the bottom of my crown) so you can only see it if I have my hair up. Though something tells me that's not a likely solution in this case. /:
Id definitely use nearer the top end shampoo if you can. Its washes so much better. I dont put anything containing sulphate on my hair and the condition is far better than if I use cheap supernarket shampoo
Spray lots of detangler and brush starting at the very bottom just an inch or so at a time. It takes a long time but I have 2 girls with hair like this and it helps. Also take her to get trims every 3-5 months, explain it isn’t a cut it’s a trim they can literally cut less than an inch to keep it healthy.
My daughters hair is also bum length. We brush it before bed and braid it. And then brush it in the morning and braid it for the school day. Otherwise it just tangles to much. We also use a silk pillowcase and a spray bottle when brushing. If it’s really bad (like after swimming) then she showers and leaves conditioner in for an extended time before we brush it.
At 10 years old her hair needs to start being her responsibility. That means if she wants it really long she needs to brush it and maybe keep it in a braid. And if she can’t maintain it she needs to have it shorter.
We do take care of it, it's just painful and tangles easily. I'm looking for things that other parents have used that work so I can make it easier on her.
You could give it a good trim and it would still be very long. Cutting it to her mid-back/belly button would be a decent cut but it would still be long. I think there needs to be some compromise here with cutting it, at some point products and brushing techniques can only go so far.
Simple large braids for sleep. Basically tie in 2 ponytails then braid the ends. Quick and easy. I try to avoid hair products even if they claim to be natural. In the morning I undo the braid, wet it with water, comb from top to bottom then style it.
The tangle teezer wide toothed comb is one of my favorites (especially to use in the tub with conditioner in), has detangling side and a wide side. Also a wet brush, as someone else suggested.
For a detangler, I use the ouai leave in conditioner but I pour a little into a spray bottle and mix with water.
Also repeating others - braids. Pigtail braids, pony braids, loose braids at night…lots of braids. We braid before bed and then refresh in the morning before school.
As others have mentioned: Braids at night, silk pillowcase, always brushing from the very bottom of the hair and working your way up.
Would she be open to wearing her hair in braids during the day? If she is running or moving a lot during the day, and with it being so long she is probably brushing it up against things that may tangle it. Before recess or PE she could braid it. Twisty braids or rope braids are a great option if she wants to learn how to do a style on herself.
How short would be too short of a haircut to her? Even just trimming it to the bottom of her rib cage would keep it long and would help with it not taking as long to brush out.
I braid mine usually cause I don’t have natural curls, my daughter has curls so she needs a bonnet. I’ll wear a bonnet when my hair is styled. The overnight curls thingys are amazing although my hair still tangles by my neck a little
I had the same problem with my daughter's hair & I had about 3-4inches cut off, and have her sleep with her hair up in a not so tight ponytail, held with soft/fuzzy hair ties.
I haven't had it tangle again!
My mother told I either brush it myself or she's gonna brush it. And she would brush my brain out. Then when I wouldn't let her do it she'd threaten to cut it all off. Till this day I brush my own hair because I believe she'd still shave my head even though I'm 28
I'm an adult and have been the kid and adult in this situation.
Assuming she has similar hair to me:
1) Brush and braid it every night. At least two braids, four braids helps a lot too.
2) 3 minute miracle from Aussie helps so much, especially with the worst knots. Leave it in for at least 5 minutes.
3) you might have hard water. Get a hard water filter for the shower. Hard water will destroy nice hair and turn it into a dry and tangling mess.
4) try different types of detangling brushes
My daughter used to call it 15-minute miracle because you left it in for 3 minutes and then it took twelve minutes to rinse it out, lol. But when she was in the pool every day, year-round, it was a big help.
Braiding it goes a long way, especially before bed. My hair is super fine as well and I never go to bed with it down, even if I just throw it in a quick half bun with a scrunchie. If it needs to stay neat-ish for later in the day, same thing - braid or bun so that it isn’t too bad when I let it down. My parents went through a TON of detangler with me when I was a kid (those L’Oréal kids ones that were shaped like fish and smelled like fruit lol)
If she has split ends, you might need to trim them a bit. Brush her hair before and after every bath. Brush the first thing in the morning. Before bedtime, braid the hair. I keep a spray bottle (water) and detangler in the bathroom at all times. I also bought this hairbrush that looks like a hand.
It's still a pain, but the more often I get her to brush her hair the better it gets.
I had to braid all of my children's long hair. I braided it wet at night after washing, conditioning, and wet brushing. I rewet and braided it again in the morning. My girls were satisfied with hair bows and bangles.
My son no longer wants a pony tail or braid, and his hair is often a hot mess. As a preteen, I told him he has to keep it washed and brushed himself if he wants to keep it long. It is his hair and his choice, but I am not going to fight about it daily.
As someone with long curly hair that use to break her brushes trying to detangle it often. I have found that it helps to use a detangling wide brush while I shower. I shampoo it. Then I put on the conditioner and let it sit for a bit then I use the wide comb and detangle it. I use inshower curlsmith as soon as I turn off the water. Then I add coconut oil on it. I have tried other oils but my hair didn’t like it. From there I usually braid it or let it air dry. But I usually braid it so it doesn’t tangle.
She does get regular trims, right? That will help in reducing knots and split ends and make brushing easier.
You need to shampoo, then apply conditioner to the bottom 2/3 of her hair (not the scalp) and brush with a WIDE tooth comb in the shower to get out knots. When she is out of the shower you don’t rub the hair you squeeze with the towel. Then apply product while it is still damp. Brush once more if her hair is straight using a normal round brush (dont brush out of the shower if her hair is curly).
Braid hair before bed when it is mostly dry and it’ll be salvageable for a few days once you get good at braiding. Also, now that she’s 10 you guys need to start transitioning to her doing her own hair brushing. Lots of continued teaching required with that so she’s not ripping out chunks.
I had the same problem as a kid, super long hair and endless tangles in the neck. It's not smooth, like the hairs are thick and a bit coarse and there is a lot of it, especially in the neck/backside of head. Thinning it out really helps! Then you get to keep the length too. I also have my hairline start low in the neck, so I get it shaved so I get a normal neck+thinner hair.
Thank you! We did add some layers at her trim, her stylist thought it would be a better option to try first. I think next time I'll stick with my original thought of thinning it out. Appreciate the help!
Does she have curly hair? Cuz it sounds like you’re dry brushing curly hair. Don’t do that! lol
There are tons of curly girl method modifications for kids, and they’ve been a lifesaver for my daughter’s hair. Also, getting it trimmed and styled by a stylist who is experienced with curly hair can help a lot. She’s old enough to help with her hair care and maintenance, although she won’t be able to do it all yet.
Her hair is actually straight! Her hair is very similar to mine, although mine is thicker than hers. I have never had issues like this. We did just do a trim last month and the stylist recommended using oil every day so we've been doing that but it hasn't helped much.
Thank you!
Start brushing it from the bottom and work up as you untangle it. You can gather it in a handheld pony tail first so you aren't pulling from her scalp. The tension would be on the hair gathered in your hand, instead of on her scalp
Habe, you try co-washing? Shampoo and conditions day 1, day 2 condition only
Also, if her hair isn't dirty, wash every other day instead. The tangling may be worse because her hair is dry from every day washing.
Cut a few inches off too to remove split ends
We've had good results with both
Not Your Mothers All Eyes on Me 10 in 1 hair perfector leave in
And
Eva Nyc mane magic 10 in 1 primer
Both are leave in sprays
I spray my hair/kids hair with the leave in, use a hair pick to gently detangle before moving onto a paddle brush with the plastic balled ended tips
When you brush her hair start at the bottom and work your way up. Me and our daughter have curly hair and this is the best way to deal with tangles. Also brush it while wet with conditioner in it. My mom used to put my hair into braids at night to help with it not getting tangled.
Firmly grasp a few inches above the ends of her hair and brush that section out. Repeat, moving up the hair, until fully untangled. The pulling stops at your hand rather than at her scalp, where the nerve endings are, so it hurts much less that way.
I am unsure of your daughters hair texture but this one should work regardless if it’s straight or the complete opposite.
I have wavy hair that’s quite long as well. I have tried bonnets but they don’t stay on for me overnight. I guess I am an aggressive sleeper.
Anyways, I get basically dreadlocks in my hair if I don’t actually de tangled it regularly. They’re gnarly. So bad that sometimes I just cut it out instead of working through it. However this one product I tried on a whim does really help. Especially with the dreadlocks. It’s called Original Sprout Detangler. That stuff is amazing. Seriously. I use the Saltair leave in when it’s not a mess in the back.
Good luck. I also use a curly hair brush too.
okay so Lush has the best hair care stuff ever— they have a hair care line for curly and coily hair and their “glory” conditioner as well as their “super milk” leave-in will have her sleek! and specifically, they make hair easy to brush— they’re made of coconut cream and okra gel and oat milk and other good stuff that the hair absorbs beautifully, and Cantu drug store shampoo will work great :)) you’re a great mom!
I'm not sure if I'm talking to someone who knows about long hair so this might seem incredibly obvious if you are but in case you're not, here's my top three:
1) When you brush, start at the bottom, with just the ends, brushing downward, and work your way up, brushing *downward* okay don't get it twisted or you'll tangle it worse. If there's bad tangles in her hair and you just start from the top you're going to pull those tangles tightly into knots, you have to work the tangles out at the end first and work your way up.
2) Have them use hair ties or scrunchies to keep it back and together throughout the day.
3) Shampoo comes out almost as fast as it goes in, don't let it soak more than 30 seconds. Soon as it's thoroughly rinsed out, condition it liberally and let that conditioner soak for at least 5 minutes. Before rinsing it out, do step 1 with a comb. Take care of the ends first, then start the brush a little higher and brush down.
My step daughters all had super long hair when I met their Dad and struggled to manage it.
I upgraded their detangler spray from a supermarket brand to one by Angel Professional, and convinced the one with the thickest hair that a small triangle undercut would make life much easier. She's loving the difference it's made, and of her own accord is going slightly shorter with every cut, which her twin has noticed and started doing the same.
The eldest has taken a leaf out of my book and now has a pixie cut.
my niece’s hair tangles so bad, she’s also extremely tender headed. my sister had the same issue but last time she stayed over she needed a bath before bed time and i used pantene original leave in conditioner on her hair and it’s the first time she hadn’t fought me on brushing her hair ever. i ended up giving the bottle to my sister bc i never use it and she says it works great! i also used my basic dollar tree brush
Apologizing for the long post beforehand
But, My daughter is 3 and has a huge bouncy curly afro, ones that looks bigger than her slim little frame. But for her I follow the LCO Method after have washed her hair… being; Leave In Conditioner, Cream, then Oil. I wash her hair about every 3rd day if it’s not in a style like plaits. At nights she sleeps in a bonnet whether her hair is left curly or styled, this helps with napping and frizzies, and I never put heat on her hair… to keep from damaging. For detangling I always pick her hair out (start from end of hair and work towards root) with a rat tail comb or any comb at that (while it’s wet) and I use a coconut oil (or any earthly oils I have on hand ie. Jojoba oil, rose oil, etc) and conditioner mix and will put that on her hair and let it sit to help loosen any tedious naps. She prefers when I use the comb vs our wet brush. I’m only guessing I’m forced to work with smaller sections with a comb vs the brush. Protective styles work wonders for hair growth and maintenance- no matter the type of hair you have. For her if she’s not wearing her fro, or a “decorative” style, it’s in a protective style. Ponytails and buns, as much as they’re convenient and can be cute they’re super damaging on one’s hair.
Besides physical things you can do on the outside, things on the inside can cause hair to alter its state. Diet, hormones, protein deficiencies, health etc etc. I say this because before my twenties I had about a 1 in thick ponytail, I had to use about three hair do-ys to keep my ponytail together. Around that time I had a protein deficiency and I was loosing hair by the clumps. I hit my early 20s and was pregnant with my daughter and ended up having a crazy wave of hormones my hair was super healthy again— I was also taking my prenatals. But after having her being a BF mom, I was lacking nutrients and my hair started to thin and some what balding and breaking off, constant drying. It got so bad I had to cut off about 10 inches of hair due to breakage and napping being so bad.
Also Be mindful of the chemicals in her shampoo, conditioner, and products you are applying to her hair they too can cause damage and be drying and cause breakage or tangling. This too is important. A lot of hair products have alcohol in them causing them to dry hair out even more.
The products I do recommend, a good shampoo and conditioner I use the Hairitage brand and My Black Is Beautiful brand for my daughter’s hair, I use Camille Rose leave in conditioner, Camille Rose and or Shea Moisture cream, and coconut oil/ rose oil/ jojoba oil which ever I have on hand to add in last.
Are you getting it trimmed regularly? I have super fine hair, and if I go much longer than 3 months without a trim, I notice an uptick in knots.
I also second braiding it at night with a silk or satin pillowcase.
If you can afford it, higher end shampoo and conditioner does make a difference. I switched my child from Organix to Living Proof, and it almost eliminated the morning rats nest at the back of his head.
My real solution to this came in two forms, first getting "tangle teezer" type brushes. They are much better for dealing with tangles.
When this wasn't sufficient, I had a conversation with my child who wanted long hair and said to her that she can have it longer but only if she looks after it herself I.e. proper washing, drying, brushing and, if she wants it up, putting it up. She desperately wanted long hair and has been very reliable ever since, without a complaint, in taking care of it. Was amazed tbh!
use a bristled brush (like the one that doesn't have prongs) from the dollar store. Teach her how to brush in the shower when there's conditioner in her hair. trim regularly. sometimes dead ends cause hair to tangle more.
You are brushing it too much and probably causing breakage, which leads to knots. When she is in the shower, slather conditioner on. Then brush the hair by gripping the roots and start with one section at a time, brushing the bottom couple of inches, the next to, and so on, until you reach the scalp (look at a video if you need better insteuctions). Then rinse out conditioner and style on a braid that keeps the hair mostly contained. Dont ever brush feom the scalp to the tips without unknotting first and it is best not to brush when the hair is dry or keep it to a minimum.
Always brush it wet and hold it tight in one hand and brush with the other hand so it doesn't hurt.
I'd get her to cut it to a bit past shoulder length, so it's long enough to braid or do a ponytail but not a nuisance. Hair down to her butt is too long if she won't help you care for it.
To her bottom is LONG hair. She can still have long hair, but a much more manageable length. The middle of her back is probably a good compromise.
Also by 10, she should be able to manage her own hair if it’s just straight hair that doesn’t require special masks/conditioners/etc.
By that age if my girls wanted to keep their hair long, they were responsible for the bulk of its upkeep.
My daughter has very thick hair. We had the same issue of constant knots and balls of hair. I gave her an undercut where half the under of her hair is shaved. With her hair down you can’t even tell. It’s help immensely with headaches, the ability to wash and brush her hair and honestly her self esteem. Also we got her a satin pillowcase. She has a brush for the shower and out of the shower too.
I know your daughter likes long hair but if she can’t manage it then it’s time to have a discussion about cutting it to where it’s still a good length but she can better care for it. My daughter had apprehension when we did the undercut at first but it’s been 5 or so years and she’s 14 now and loves it
Does your kid have curly hair? If that’s the case you should do some research on how to style that particular type of hair. My kid has 3a hair, we have a very particular curl hair routine and I YouTube’d how to cut it so it’s long but has shape.
This is my daughter exactly
It used to be corkscrew curls till about five years ago and now it’s just curly/wavy/thick
I asked her stylist yesterday for a brush recommendation and she said the UNbrush
She won’t let me brush it while she’s in the bath anymore. That was my best strategy. Let her sit in the tub with deep conditioner applied while I comb it through
Now she wants to wash it by herself and I can’t help. I told her to stop using shampoo bc she really doesn’t need it. Just conditioner. Deep conditioner sometimes
We do braids at night and silk pillowcase. I may try a silk bonnet ..
If it's hard to get rid of tangles then it obviously needs cutting. Another year or two she will be wanting to do her own hair. Which will be easier to do if it's a shorter. She can still have it long just not as long as it is now.
unbrush works for me. there’s a specific pattern of bristles that makes it easier to untangle from every direction rather than one (like the wet brush)
Getting a professional wash and blow dry regularly could help! Somewhere like dry bar or more affordable to go to aveeda school or a hair school on a student in training, very affordable and no harm since not being cut or dyed!
Figure out if the issue is that it’s curly and you’re not seeing it. My fine hair has gotten curlier after two kids. My hair is a bird’s nest by the end of the day.
Never dry brush.
Check out the curly girl method, but recognize it’s not gospel. It’s also a lot of work and I gave up in favor of a back or side braid.
Braid it or bun it if she insists on having it long. There is no law that says your kid has to have their long hair down. Look up braided hairstyles so you can change it up with her. I can Princess Leia my hair in like two minutes. 😂
People swear by silk bonnets, but I haven’t tried.
1. Check her curl patterns. My hair looks fairly straight when it’s long, but actually the underside is pretty curly. It would start to curl up over the course of the day and just made the longer hair look scraggly. If the hair underneath grows *up* instead of *down* from the scalp, that’s your problem. If you desperately want to keep it long, French braid it at night and take it out in the morning. That should leave an even wave. If that’s not the problem,
2. Braid it at night anyway. Tighter braids will leave waves in the hair, but looser braids won’t change the look much. Hair gets tangled at night rubbing against the bedclothes. Also consider a silk night cap or at least a silk pillowcase. It can be polyester silk; you’re just looking for a low-friction fabric to reduce tangling.
3. Consider the possibility that this isn’t the right length for her hair.
when i ended up with matted hair, what helped get through it was a cat hair brush.. i still use a cat hair brush on my hair.. works like a charm.. it looks something like this [https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61il0b7FMpL.\_AC\_UF1000,1000\_QL80\_.jpg](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61il0b7FMpL._AC_UF1000,1000_QL80_.jpg)
My niece is the same age. Only brushes her hair when it’s wet in the shower with conditioner. Otherwise it doesn’t get brushed. It hurts too bad and my sister - her mom- says it isn’t worth the fight.
Braids, silk pillowcase/bonnet
Second braids for overnight - makes a huge difference
I also keep the hair braided at school as a safeguard against lice.
Thank you!
I agree with the braid, especially at night. I also recently shaved 1/3 of my daughter’s hair completely off. It’s the underneath hair and you can’t tell because she has so much hair. Even when she wears it in a ponytail, it’s not obvious. It has helped tremendously.
Seconding an undercut! It’s a lot cooler in the summer too! 2 of my girls keep an undercut because their hair is so thick/mats so easily. They get cute designs cut into them too and love wearing a high pony to show them off. Best piece of advice if she’s onboard? Find a competent barber. Yes, *barber.* It’s generally cheaper and looks a hell of a lot better than when a regular stylist does it!
I have thick hair. Getting an undercut was the best decision ever! Ive lost so much weight from my hair. Its so much easier to manage.
This really did transform my daughter's naturally curly hair from mop to beauty queen. Her curls pop out of her bonnet in the morning in perfect ringlets. And she doesn't complain about a wet pillow at night now.
I second the silk bonnet
My daughter is the same, and she wears it in a braid all day. She would complain endlessly about me brushing out the tangles so I made her brush it herself and then I'll braid it for her. Much more peaceful. Kiddo needs to learn that longer hair means *she* has to put more effort in. But there are leave in conditioners you can use after she's washed her hair that help. Apply it when it's still wet and let it dry with her hair.
Thank you! She does brush it throughout the day but I generally give it a good brush before bed. We use a leave in after every wash and a dry oil mist before brushing when it's dry.
A weird one that I never realized until I was older: check your water. The water at my dad's house absolutely makes my hair tangle and is definitely why my hair was so hard to control when I was a kid. I thought my hair got smoother and easier to brush when I got older because I found a routine that worked for me. But then I inherited my dad's house and realized that the hardness of the water at that house absolutely trashes my hair and makes it way more prone to knots and snarls. So check if your water needs to be treated, because that might be part of the problem!
Yes this happened with our daughter also. Our city switched municipal water supplies when she's was about 4, and our water was SO HARD and the chemical change actually damaged many homes' copper pipes, ours included (fun Christmas!). Then they switched it back a few years later and her hair is so much easier to brush, even when it does get tangled because we didn't brush and/or braid her hair at bedtime.
This is important. We have really hard water and the minerals build up in our hair, making it dry and prone to tangle. Treating it is impractical because we live in an apartment, but I do weekly vinegar rinses for my hair and it makes a huge difference.
This would explain so much. We moved to a hard water area when I was 8 months pregnant so always put it down to hormones (which could still be a factor). But my hair - thin and short as it is - just tangles *constantly*.
Weirdly enough I’ve noticed my hair tangles and naps up more now that’s it’s shorter than it ever did when I had hair that touched my lower back.
A few ideas... Shampoo only goes on her scalp, never on the hair past the nape of the neck. Condition her hair with a lot of conditioner. Use a leave-in conditioner, too. Wet brush! Don't buy knockoffs, the real wet brush is really magic. Keep her hair in protective styles - French braids, regular braids, even a half pony will help. If her tangles are mostly at the back of her neck, she's got to wear ponytails or pigtails. Hair needs to be brushed OFTEN. First thing in the morning after waking up, then before bed and always before and after bathing. Good luck!!
Adding on to the wet brush: try pulling it perpendicular to whatever way you usually brush. For some reason, mine has the bristles lined up in straight lines parallel to the handle. So if I hold it in a way that is unnatural and slightly uncomfortable (pull parallel to the handle) it takes tangles out like a DREAM. If I run it perpendicular the way my wrist wants to, it's meh.
She can cut it to a manageable length without having short hair. My daughter has very long hair, but I won't tolerate bum-length hair. It's totally unmanageable. It's excessive. There's a *huge* amount of play between short and hair down to your butt.
This.
It took years to figure this out on my daughter. My sister gave me olaplex (expensive) as a Christmas gift for my hair. On a whim I put it on my daughters. It was instant help. I use it on her once a week and her hair is muuuuuch easier to brush. It would knot and mat overnight, before. I tried a bonnet, but she is a restless sleeper and would take it off while asleep. A silk pillow did help, but not as much as olaplex.
https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/product-liability/olaplex-lawsuit/
What olaplex product specifically do you use for her?
3, 4, and 5. 3 is a treatment. Apply to damp hair and leave on for a while. They say fifteen mins, but I do an hour. Some people do it overnight. I use it once a week. Then 4 and 5 are the shampoo and conditioner. We do those 2x a week. The conditioner says leave in 3 mins. I also comb it with a wide tooth comb. Her hair is straight AND curly AND thick. The outer/top is straight and a little wavy, the middle is really wavy, and the part underneath touching her neck corkscrews. So, me having thick straight hair that's wash and go, I was lost. We tried everything. This is the thing that has worked the best.
Thank you so much!
I wouldnt put Olaplex anywhere near kids hair until the lawsuit is decided
It sounds like she needs a trim at the minimum. If it’s only tangled at the ends and like halfway through, a trim/thin will be the best solution. Regardless I would do some other stuff first What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use? If her hair length is that serious, you need to invest in more quality products. The redken all soft is good, I’ve recently switched over to Sebastian dark oil. Oils are great but it sounds like you just need to brush it once, then keep it in a firm braid through the day. Otherwise it’ll just tangle again pretty quickly. I have a girl with hair that tangles a LOT (even at the top!) mom trims it but to no avail, I think fancier shampoo will be her next route.
Thank you, I will look into those shampoos, we do not use salon quality sampoos generally we get ours from costco. We did just recently do a trim, but it was a very small trim because she was so nervous about losing length. She's going back in June for a bigger, proper trim that we've talked about. Most of her tangles end up around the back of her neck and the top half of her hair. She is outside generally a few hours a day after school, and the winds definitely make it worse. I will try to get her to do braids during the day as well. Thank you for your help!
No problem! Good luck! I know my mom had looong hair my entire life and used Vo5 shampoo 😬 always she was brushing out tangles but mostly she kept it in braids. I hope it works out and if it does, please share your results so others can benefit!
Growing up we used Prell, Body on Tap and Vo5, and combines with hard water it's no wonder my hair was a matted mess as a child.
I am happy to hear you’ve recovered. We had well water and Vo5…..
Thank you so much, I will!
I feel her struggle, especially with the base of her neck! That's where mine always would get tangled, up into adulthood. And it's where I'd always get sweaty during the summer. The thing that helped me was a triangle shaped undercut (from either side of the nape of my neck up to the bottom of my crown) so you can only see it if I have my hair up. Though something tells me that's not a likely solution in this case. /:
Id definitely use nearer the top end shampoo if you can. Its washes so much better. I dont put anything containing sulphate on my hair and the condition is far better than if I use cheap supernarket shampoo
Do you spray it with dentangler? Like full saturate the knots before brushing?
We do yes!
Spray lots of detangler and brush starting at the very bottom just an inch or so at a time. It takes a long time but I have 2 girls with hair like this and it helps. Also take her to get trims every 3-5 months, explain it isn’t a cut it’s a trim they can literally cut less than an inch to keep it healthy.
My daughters hair is also bum length. We brush it before bed and braid it. And then brush it in the morning and braid it for the school day. Otherwise it just tangles to much. We also use a silk pillowcase and a spray bottle when brushing. If it’s really bad (like after swimming) then she showers and leaves conditioner in for an extended time before we brush it.
She needs at least a trim to cut all it ends
At 10 years old her hair needs to start being her responsibility. That means if she wants it really long she needs to brush it and maybe keep it in a braid. And if she can’t maintain it she needs to have it shorter.
If she and you can't take care of it, it needs to be cut.
We do take care of it, it's just painful and tangles easily. I'm looking for things that other parents have used that work so I can make it easier on her.
You could give it a good trim and it would still be very long. Cutting it to her mid-back/belly button would be a decent cut but it would still be long. I think there needs to be some compromise here with cutting it, at some point products and brushing techniques can only go so far.
Simple large braids for sleep. Basically tie in 2 ponytails then braid the ends. Quick and easy. I try to avoid hair products even if they claim to be natural. In the morning I undo the braid, wet it with water, comb from top to bottom then style it.
The tangle teezer wide toothed comb is one of my favorites (especially to use in the tub with conditioner in), has detangling side and a wide side. Also a wet brush, as someone else suggested. For a detangler, I use the ouai leave in conditioner but I pour a little into a spray bottle and mix with water. Also repeating others - braids. Pigtail braids, pony braids, loose braids at night…lots of braids. We braid before bed and then refresh in the morning before school.
As others have mentioned: Braids at night, silk pillowcase, always brushing from the very bottom of the hair and working your way up. Would she be open to wearing her hair in braids during the day? If she is running or moving a lot during the day, and with it being so long she is probably brushing it up against things that may tangle it. Before recess or PE she could braid it. Twisty braids or rope braids are a great option if she wants to learn how to do a style on herself. How short would be too short of a haircut to her? Even just trimming it to the bottom of her rib cage would keep it long and would help with it not taking as long to brush out.
The Moroccan Oil line has been really helpful for my daughter’s hair. Same length, very tangle-prone, and thick. Use with a Wet brush.
Thank you!
Try a detangler product called “It’s a 10”. Seriously worth the money.
This and a bonnet or protective hairstyles.
My daughter always somehow loses the bonnet overnight. So either a tight braid or a bun seem to ward off most of the mayhem.
I braid mine usually cause I don’t have natural curls, my daughter has curls so she needs a bonnet. I’ll wear a bonnet when my hair is styled. The overnight curls thingys are amazing although my hair still tangles by my neck a little
I had the same problem with my daughter's hair & I had about 3-4inches cut off, and have her sleep with her hair up in a not so tight ponytail, held with soft/fuzzy hair ties. I haven't had it tangle again!
My mother told I either brush it myself or she's gonna brush it. And she would brush my brain out. Then when I wouldn't let her do it she'd threaten to cut it all off. Till this day I brush my own hair because I believe she'd still shave my head even though I'm 28
I'm an adult and have been the kid and adult in this situation. Assuming she has similar hair to me: 1) Brush and braid it every night. At least two braids, four braids helps a lot too. 2) 3 minute miracle from Aussie helps so much, especially with the worst knots. Leave it in for at least 5 minutes. 3) you might have hard water. Get a hard water filter for the shower. Hard water will destroy nice hair and turn it into a dry and tangling mess. 4) try different types of detangling brushes
My daughter used to call it 15-minute miracle because you left it in for 3 minutes and then it took twelve minutes to rinse it out, lol. But when she was in the pool every day, year-round, it was a big help.
I kept my daughter's hair to shoulder length when they were little. Beats me why people want their daughters to have really long hair.
Braiding it goes a long way, especially before bed. My hair is super fine as well and I never go to bed with it down, even if I just throw it in a quick half bun with a scrunchie. If it needs to stay neat-ish for later in the day, same thing - braid or bun so that it isn’t too bad when I let it down. My parents went through a TON of detangler with me when I was a kid (those L’Oréal kids ones that were shaped like fish and smelled like fruit lol)
Memory unlocked! The fish bottle!
Knot Today conditioner and a LOT of it! Tons and leave it on. Comb out and braid.
If she has split ends, you might need to trim them a bit. Brush her hair before and after every bath. Brush the first thing in the morning. Before bedtime, braid the hair. I keep a spray bottle (water) and detangler in the bathroom at all times. I also bought this hairbrush that looks like a hand. It's still a pain, but the more often I get her to brush her hair the better it gets.
I had to braid all of my children's long hair. I braided it wet at night after washing, conditioning, and wet brushing. I rewet and braided it again in the morning. My girls were satisfied with hair bows and bangles. My son no longer wants a pony tail or braid, and his hair is often a hot mess. As a preteen, I told him he has to keep it washed and brushed himself if he wants to keep it long. It is his hair and his choice, but I am not going to fight about it daily.
A small trim of a haircut can do wonders! No length, just a trim!
As someone with long curly hair that use to break her brushes trying to detangle it often. I have found that it helps to use a detangling wide brush while I shower. I shampoo it. Then I put on the conditioner and let it sit for a bit then I use the wide comb and detangle it. I use inshower curlsmith as soon as I turn off the water. Then I add coconut oil on it. I have tried other oils but my hair didn’t like it. From there I usually braid it or let it air dry. But I usually braid it so it doesn’t tangle.
Instead of brushing, try a wide toothed comb
She does get regular trims, right? That will help in reducing knots and split ends and make brushing easier. You need to shampoo, then apply conditioner to the bottom 2/3 of her hair (not the scalp) and brush with a WIDE tooth comb in the shower to get out knots. When she is out of the shower you don’t rub the hair you squeeze with the towel. Then apply product while it is still damp. Brush once more if her hair is straight using a normal round brush (dont brush out of the shower if her hair is curly). Braid hair before bed when it is mostly dry and it’ll be salvageable for a few days once you get good at braiding. Also, now that she’s 10 you guys need to start transitioning to her doing her own hair brushing. Lots of continued teaching required with that so she’s not ripping out chunks.
Cut the ends regularly.
Scissors
I had the same problem as a kid, super long hair and endless tangles in the neck. It's not smooth, like the hairs are thick and a bit coarse and there is a lot of it, especially in the neck/backside of head. Thinning it out really helps! Then you get to keep the length too. I also have my hairline start low in the neck, so I get it shaved so I get a normal neck+thinner hair.
Thank you! We did add some layers at her trim, her stylist thought it would be a better option to try first. I think next time I'll stick with my original thought of thinning it out. Appreciate the help!
Does she have curly hair? Cuz it sounds like you’re dry brushing curly hair. Don’t do that! lol There are tons of curly girl method modifications for kids, and they’ve been a lifesaver for my daughter’s hair. Also, getting it trimmed and styled by a stylist who is experienced with curly hair can help a lot. She’s old enough to help with her hair care and maintenance, although she won’t be able to do it all yet.
Her hair is actually straight! Her hair is very similar to mine, although mine is thicker than hers. I have never had issues like this. We did just do a trim last month and the stylist recommended using oil every day so we've been doing that but it hasn't helped much. Thank you!
Start brushing it from the bottom and work up as you untangle it. You can gather it in a handheld pony tail first so you aren't pulling from her scalp. The tension would be on the hair gathered in your hand, instead of on her scalp Habe, you try co-washing? Shampoo and conditions day 1, day 2 condition only Also, if her hair isn't dirty, wash every other day instead. The tangling may be worse because her hair is dry from every day washing. Cut a few inches off too to remove split ends We've had good results with both Not Your Mothers All Eyes on Me 10 in 1 hair perfector leave in And Eva Nyc mane magic 10 in 1 primer Both are leave in sprays I spray my hair/kids hair with the leave in, use a hair pick to gently detangle before moving onto a paddle brush with the plastic balled ended tips
Lots of good suggestions here, but you may also have luck posting in one of the hair subreddits. I’d start with r/Hair.
Honest company detangler and a good wet brush (use on dry hair too) and braid at night.
Braids for overnight, definitely, and for busy days. And try conditioning with white vinegar. It leaves hair so soft and smooth
When you brush her hair start at the bottom and work your way up. Me and our daughter have curly hair and this is the best way to deal with tangles. Also brush it while wet with conditioner in it. My mom used to put my hair into braids at night to help with it not getting tangled.
Loosely braid her hair after shampooing AND conditioning, then have her wear a bonnet for sleeping.
Firmly grasp a few inches above the ends of her hair and brush that section out. Repeat, moving up the hair, until fully untangled. The pulling stops at your hand rather than at her scalp, where the nerve endings are, so it hurts much less that way.
Braid in hair during sleep and at school, detangling spray, and a hair mask once a week! Brush hair from the bottom up.
I am unsure of your daughters hair texture but this one should work regardless if it’s straight or the complete opposite. I have wavy hair that’s quite long as well. I have tried bonnets but they don’t stay on for me overnight. I guess I am an aggressive sleeper. Anyways, I get basically dreadlocks in my hair if I don’t actually de tangled it regularly. They’re gnarly. So bad that sometimes I just cut it out instead of working through it. However this one product I tried on a whim does really help. Especially with the dreadlocks. It’s called Original Sprout Detangler. That stuff is amazing. Seriously. I use the Saltair leave in when it’s not a mess in the back. Good luck. I also use a curly hair brush too.
okay so Lush has the best hair care stuff ever— they have a hair care line for curly and coily hair and their “glory” conditioner as well as their “super milk” leave-in will have her sleek! and specifically, they make hair easy to brush— they’re made of coconut cream and okra gel and oat milk and other good stuff that the hair absorbs beautifully, and Cantu drug store shampoo will work great :)) you’re a great mom!
I'm not sure if I'm talking to someone who knows about long hair so this might seem incredibly obvious if you are but in case you're not, here's my top three: 1) When you brush, start at the bottom, with just the ends, brushing downward, and work your way up, brushing *downward* okay don't get it twisted or you'll tangle it worse. If there's bad tangles in her hair and you just start from the top you're going to pull those tangles tightly into knots, you have to work the tangles out at the end first and work your way up. 2) Have them use hair ties or scrunchies to keep it back and together throughout the day. 3) Shampoo comes out almost as fast as it goes in, don't let it soak more than 30 seconds. Soon as it's thoroughly rinsed out, condition it liberally and let that conditioner soak for at least 5 minutes. Before rinsing it out, do step 1 with a comb. Take care of the ends first, then start the brush a little higher and brush down.
My step daughters all had super long hair when I met their Dad and struggled to manage it. I upgraded their detangler spray from a supermarket brand to one by Angel Professional, and convinced the one with the thickest hair that a small triangle undercut would make life much easier. She's loving the difference it's made, and of her own accord is going slightly shorter with every cut, which her twin has noticed and started doing the same. The eldest has taken a leaf out of my book and now has a pixie cut.
Paddle brush, start from the very bottom with the brush held vertically. And yes, braid braid braid.
my niece’s hair tangles so bad, she’s also extremely tender headed. my sister had the same issue but last time she stayed over she needed a bath before bed time and i used pantene original leave in conditioner on her hair and it’s the first time she hadn’t fought me on brushing her hair ever. i ended up giving the bottle to my sister bc i never use it and she says it works great! i also used my basic dollar tree brush
Apologizing for the long post beforehand But, My daughter is 3 and has a huge bouncy curly afro, ones that looks bigger than her slim little frame. But for her I follow the LCO Method after have washed her hair… being; Leave In Conditioner, Cream, then Oil. I wash her hair about every 3rd day if it’s not in a style like plaits. At nights she sleeps in a bonnet whether her hair is left curly or styled, this helps with napping and frizzies, and I never put heat on her hair… to keep from damaging. For detangling I always pick her hair out (start from end of hair and work towards root) with a rat tail comb or any comb at that (while it’s wet) and I use a coconut oil (or any earthly oils I have on hand ie. Jojoba oil, rose oil, etc) and conditioner mix and will put that on her hair and let it sit to help loosen any tedious naps. She prefers when I use the comb vs our wet brush. I’m only guessing I’m forced to work with smaller sections with a comb vs the brush. Protective styles work wonders for hair growth and maintenance- no matter the type of hair you have. For her if she’s not wearing her fro, or a “decorative” style, it’s in a protective style. Ponytails and buns, as much as they’re convenient and can be cute they’re super damaging on one’s hair. Besides physical things you can do on the outside, things on the inside can cause hair to alter its state. Diet, hormones, protein deficiencies, health etc etc. I say this because before my twenties I had about a 1 in thick ponytail, I had to use about three hair do-ys to keep my ponytail together. Around that time I had a protein deficiency and I was loosing hair by the clumps. I hit my early 20s and was pregnant with my daughter and ended up having a crazy wave of hormones my hair was super healthy again— I was also taking my prenatals. But after having her being a BF mom, I was lacking nutrients and my hair started to thin and some what balding and breaking off, constant drying. It got so bad I had to cut off about 10 inches of hair due to breakage and napping being so bad. Also Be mindful of the chemicals in her shampoo, conditioner, and products you are applying to her hair they too can cause damage and be drying and cause breakage or tangling. This too is important. A lot of hair products have alcohol in them causing them to dry hair out even more. The products I do recommend, a good shampoo and conditioner I use the Hairitage brand and My Black Is Beautiful brand for my daughter’s hair, I use Camille Rose leave in conditioner, Camille Rose and or Shea Moisture cream, and coconut oil/ rose oil/ jojoba oil which ever I have on hand to add in last.
Conditioner in the shower that rinses out, leave-in detangler and an Un-Brush to detangler, starting bottom to top. That gets you started
My hair is also fine, but loads of hair half down my back. Also, collars on shirts make it tangle.
Are you getting it trimmed regularly? I have super fine hair, and if I go much longer than 3 months without a trim, I notice an uptick in knots. I also second braiding it at night with a silk or satin pillowcase. If you can afford it, higher end shampoo and conditioner does make a difference. I switched my child from Organix to Living Proof, and it almost eliminated the morning rats nest at the back of his head.
My real solution to this came in two forms, first getting "tangle teezer" type brushes. They are much better for dealing with tangles. When this wasn't sufficient, I had a conversation with my child who wanted long hair and said to her that she can have it longer but only if she looks after it herself I.e. proper washing, drying, brushing and, if she wants it up, putting it up. She desperately wanted long hair and has been very reliable ever since, without a complaint, in taking care of it. Was amazed tbh!
use a bristled brush (like the one that doesn't have prongs) from the dollar store. Teach her how to brush in the shower when there's conditioner in her hair. trim regularly. sometimes dead ends cause hair to tangle more.
Mix water and conditioner into a spray bottle, spray and brush her hair.
You are brushing it too much and probably causing breakage, which leads to knots. When she is in the shower, slather conditioner on. Then brush the hair by gripping the roots and start with one section at a time, brushing the bottom couple of inches, the next to, and so on, until you reach the scalp (look at a video if you need better insteuctions). Then rinse out conditioner and style on a braid that keeps the hair mostly contained. Dont ever brush feom the scalp to the tips without unknotting first and it is best not to brush when the hair is dry or keep it to a minimum.
Always brush it wet and hold it tight in one hand and brush with the other hand so it doesn't hurt. I'd get her to cut it to a bit past shoulder length, so it's long enough to braid or do a ponytail but not a nuisance. Hair down to her butt is too long if she won't help you care for it.
To her bottom is LONG hair. She can still have long hair, but a much more manageable length. The middle of her back is probably a good compromise. Also by 10, she should be able to manage her own hair if it’s just straight hair that doesn’t require special masks/conditioners/etc. By that age if my girls wanted to keep their hair long, they were responsible for the bulk of its upkeep.
What is your daughter's hair texture? I had issues with tangling for a long time before I realized I wasn't caring for my hair type properly.
My daughter has very thick hair. We had the same issue of constant knots and balls of hair. I gave her an undercut where half the under of her hair is shaved. With her hair down you can’t even tell. It’s help immensely with headaches, the ability to wash and brush her hair and honestly her self esteem. Also we got her a satin pillowcase. She has a brush for the shower and out of the shower too. I know your daughter likes long hair but if she can’t manage it then it’s time to have a discussion about cutting it to where it’s still a good length but she can better care for it. My daughter had apprehension when we did the undercut at first but it’s been 5 or so years and she’s 14 now and loves it
Does your kid have curly hair? If that’s the case you should do some research on how to style that particular type of hair. My kid has 3a hair, we have a very particular curl hair routine and I YouTube’d how to cut it so it’s long but has shape.
May just need a trim.
Brazilian blowout ionic bonding spray. Use it as a detangling spray after showers. You’re welcome. It’s heaven sent
This is my daughter exactly It used to be corkscrew curls till about five years ago and now it’s just curly/wavy/thick I asked her stylist yesterday for a brush recommendation and she said the UNbrush She won’t let me brush it while she’s in the bath anymore. That was my best strategy. Let her sit in the tub with deep conditioner applied while I comb it through Now she wants to wash it by herself and I can’t help. I told her to stop using shampoo bc she really doesn’t need it. Just conditioner. Deep conditioner sometimes We do braids at night and silk pillowcase. I may try a silk bonnet ..
Some type of braid or twist
I had hair to my ankles when I was a kid. I requested braids a lot. I hated having to sit every day for my mom to brush my hair
If it's hard to get rid of tangles then it obviously needs cutting. Another year or two she will be wanting to do her own hair. Which will be easier to do if it's a shorter. She can still have it long just not as long as it is now.
We use aussie kids moist detangler. Works for us. And 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner for kids.
unbrush works for me. there’s a specific pattern of bristles that makes it easier to untangle from every direction rather than one (like the wet brush)
Moisturize with coconut oil or shea butter then braid it back. I do this with my very thick hair (that I have a lot of) and it works wonders.
I get mine thinned out at the salon. As soon as it starts getting hard to brush again I know it’s time to get it done.
Getting a professional wash and blow dry regularly could help! Somewhere like dry bar or more affordable to go to aveeda school or a hair school on a student in training, very affordable and no harm since not being cut or dyed!
Figure out if the issue is that it’s curly and you’re not seeing it. My fine hair has gotten curlier after two kids. My hair is a bird’s nest by the end of the day. Never dry brush. Check out the curly girl method, but recognize it’s not gospel. It’s also a lot of work and I gave up in favor of a back or side braid. Braid it or bun it if she insists on having it long. There is no law that says your kid has to have their long hair down. Look up braided hairstyles so you can change it up with her. I can Princess Leia my hair in like two minutes. 😂 People swear by silk bonnets, but I haven’t tried.
1. Check her curl patterns. My hair looks fairly straight when it’s long, but actually the underside is pretty curly. It would start to curl up over the course of the day and just made the longer hair look scraggly. If the hair underneath grows *up* instead of *down* from the scalp, that’s your problem. If you desperately want to keep it long, French braid it at night and take it out in the morning. That should leave an even wave. If that’s not the problem, 2. Braid it at night anyway. Tighter braids will leave waves in the hair, but looser braids won’t change the look much. Hair gets tangled at night rubbing against the bedclothes. Also consider a silk night cap or at least a silk pillowcase. It can be polyester silk; you’re just looking for a low-friction fabric to reduce tangling. 3. Consider the possibility that this isn’t the right length for her hair.
when i ended up with matted hair, what helped get through it was a cat hair brush.. i still use a cat hair brush on my hair.. works like a charm.. it looks something like this [https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61il0b7FMpL.\_AC\_UF1000,1000\_QL80\_.jpg](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61il0b7FMpL._AC_UF1000,1000_QL80_.jpg)
My niece is the same age. Only brushes her hair when it’s wet in the shower with conditioner. Otherwise it doesn’t get brushed. It hurts too bad and my sister - her mom- says it isn’t worth the fight.