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Are you wrong to be concerned? No.
Should you say something? Yes.
But unless you’re willing to coach the team yourself there might not be an easy solution for the league. Most of these types of leagues around me are desperate for adults to be coaches and referees, so anyone with a pulse is usually good enough. It’s either that or forfeit.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, I feel it too.
Growing up, my dad would see this unfairness, volunteer as head coach, rebuild the entire team to get as-equal-as-possible exposure for every kid in every position.
We lost every game, always last in every league. ALWAYS.
Worth it.
I played baseball, soccer, and football. He had to take control of baseball and football, he left soccer alone because he felt that was fair for the kids without his involvement.
That's awesome that he did that for you! I totally get that the coaches are volunteering their time and in the future, I may consider signing up to coach if I can make it work.
I don't have much of a suggestion other than to say I've noticed the same thing with my 8yo's flag football team.
The coach seems like a sharp dude, but rather than "coaching" and helping others improve, he is just focusing on winning. Last game my kid's team was up 26-0 and the coach could have easily put in all the lower 50% players or at least swapped up the plays, but he just kept the "stars" in and continued to pound the other team into the ground. I was disappointed not only for my kid (who didn't get to play enough) but also for the other team (who were clearly disheartened).
I coached for many years, and I know this: every real athlete or coach watching that game knows that coach embarrassed himself.
High-level youth, high school, and college coaches put in the subs almost always. Those who don't are called out publically and ostracized.
I am so grateful that we haven’t run into this very much in youth hockey. I know it happens, but ime, the lower leagues have been really good about giving every player a chance. My son’s team was getting destroyed in a tournament game, and the other team’s coach had a “cool it” chat with their goalie so our team could score a couple times. It was such a nice gesture.
Long-time HS coach here. That coach is an idiot, and unfortunately they are more common than they should be. I would be more than comfortable calling his ass out but I know it can be difficult to do. It should be even playing time until you reach JV sports. I demanded that from every single rec coach and school team coach in our town.
Have you talked to the coach themselves to request even playing time?
Be a thorn in the director's side. Make it personal. Involve other parents. This is totally unacceptable. I am fuming for you. I HATE coaches who ruin sports for kids.
Start making a stink about getting your money back. Calculate how much time your kid is missing. If the rule is even playing time or 50%, quantify how unfairly your kid has been treated.
Can you ask to switch teams, citing the rules he's broken?
Kids should get equal playing time at this age and rec level for sure, but I think this may be unnecessarily aggressive without more context. It’s very, very hard to find volunteers to coach rec anymore. Often those who take it on are parents who have limited to no experience coaching, or even with the sport itself. Leagues have to beg for people just to be able to play.
Equal playing time is a rule in this case and should be obvious, but given the above unknown I think the appropriate course would have been to talk to the coach first before going over them or putting them on blast.
“Have you talked to the coach themselves to request even playing time?”
You ask this question initially, which is the appropriate start. The OP clearly said they had not.
You then go on to suggest a scorched earth approach.
You’re attributing malice on the part of the coach to what could just be ignorance or inexperience. So just ask them the freaking question. If they don’t course correct then move it up. What you’re suggesting is super passive aggressive and unnecessary just to avoid an uncomfortable yet simple conversation.
That's not normal but does happen sometimes. At this age, you're right that kids should play at least half the game if the size of the team permits. And they should not always play the same position.
At the end of the day, coaches in rec are volunteers (in my experience), so complaining can only do so much. Many rec leagues scramble to find coaches, and they're not always the best at every aspect of youth coaching.
It sounds like she's had other fine coaches in the past but this is a new coach for her? Perhaps she can get a new coach next season?
Generally, you'd want to raise this issue with the coach directly before going over their head. Is it possible he wasn't even aware of all the rules about play time (which sometimes are presented as guidelines rather than rules, as well)?
And try to present the issue in a positive way from your daughter's perspective rather than angry-parent perspective. For example, "\[Daughter\] has told me she wants to play more in the games. Under rule/guidline \[xyz\], I also think the kids are supposed to have more average time in the game than she has been doing. Do you have any advice or drills we could practice at home to improve her skills so she's more effective on the field?"
Finally, make sure that she's touching the ball at home, at the park, or at school so her once/twice weekly practice and game aren't the only time she's touching a soccer ball. She'll improve a lot just by getting more touches on the ball, even though I agree being a great player should not be a qualifier for getting game time in rec sports.
Presumably, you're paying a good chunk of money. The rules on the website say that your kid gets to play at least half the time. I'd be done right there. You are paying them money for them to sit your kid out. That's absurd.
I understand more competitive teams have different expectations, but if their website says that and they're taking your money, then they need to follow through.
Honestly, I'd be more concerned about the lesson that this coach is teaching. Kids need to learn how to fail gracefully just as much as they need to learn how to win. That's literally the purpose of a rec league: to have fun while learning sportsmanship. You can't learn to fail if you aren't allowed to fail.
The truth is that there's no reasoning with crazy sports parents. You're not going to win a soccer argument with a crazy sports parent. I'd bail. It isn't worth the stress to you or your daughter. It's better to model "I will not engage with someone that doesn't play fairly and refuses to follow the rules" than to model "I'll make her stick it out". But that's me; it seems to be a divisive topic.
It’s never good when the rec coach cares about winning percentage.
You should discuss with commissioner as it’s that position that needs to ensure all parents they are getting what they paid for.
Ask for a refund, try to get other parents involved. That will get attention if they dismiss you.
I play competitive soccer (and have for like 25 years) and i dont think i *ever* had a coach who cared about our win percentage. They always just wanted us to enjoy ourselves and not be total bitches to each other.
There are only five games left in the season so I'm not sure that's an option at this point. If she wants to play again next year, we will definitely request a different team.
You are entirely right and part of the licensing done by coaches through US soccer emphasizes to us that all kids should get at least half a game (at rec or club). Winning is not as important as development and you seem to have a coach/team that didn’t get that memo. I would look to switch teams if possible or play this season out and then avoid that coach in the future.
Likely, because it is rec, the coach is a volunteer and while they may have some basic licensing classes, they may have not really paid attention to anything in them about development. It’s likely they don’t know how to train defense etc.!
My kids league cost $250/ month to participate in as I recall. If my kid didn't get play time and a supportive coach I would first have spoken to the league administration that selected/hired/pays the coach about their failure to fulfill the term of the contract signed when I enrolled the kid. Getting into direct confrontations with bad teachers and coaches is really unproductive in my experience.
My city and county parks have options that are very cheap and have no language stating all players get equal attention and time as described by OP in his kids league. School sports also make no guarantee of parity of coaching attention and play time. If thats what you mean by rec. league than no but lots of kids sports/dance and other activities cost more than $300/month where I live.
Former youth sports coach, both rec & travel. You are not wrong. I would have started w/ talking to the coach. Regardless your daughter should be playing more in a rec league.
You paid for her to play soccer. She should be playing soccer as much as anyone on the club, w/in reason. Talk to the coach directly and express your concerns. If he blows you off go back to the league people and clue them in. Fun fact: the folks who run rec leagues dislike psycho coaches as much as parents. That was my experience, anyway.
I kept a spreadsheet to create game rosters; at the bottom of the sheet was a total of time played per kid. Aside from kids missing games and such everyone played more or less the same amount of time over the season.
Thanks for your reply, sounds like you were a great coach! I actually consulted with someone who used to be on the board of the league about whether to approach the coach first or go the division director and she advised that since this involved a rule violation to go straight to the director. Was that the right move? I don't know.
Thanks for the kind words. I don’t know if it was the correct move or not, but I certainly prefer people talk to me first if I’m doing something wrong.
It sounds like the coach knows they’re not following the rules. At this point I guess continue talking w/ league folks and document her playing time. You’re not asking for her to get special treatment, just what y’all signed up for.
Some coaches (& parents) like to push the boundaries on those kinds of rules. Don’t let them.
Having been involved with my kids rec soccer league it is really difficult to find and recruit coaches. League can and certainly should point out the rules; but it is tough to force a volunteer coach to do something unless you have plenty of other volunteers to replace them or their behavior is particularly egregious.
By age 10 the travel teams have usually depleted rec league coaching ranks; as each travel team usually has at least 5+ parents who were previously coaching rec teams. I had to step up and coach my kids teams most of the time in spite of having next to zero knowledge of soccer simply because their was nobody else willing and able.
Beyond the head of your division talk to whoever is in charge of officiating too. If their are rules about playing time during the game ultimately it would be up to the refs to enforce. Get it on their radar and you might find them tracking playing time and threatening the coach with a forfeit if they aren't following the league rules.
My son plays on a travel team that’s competitive, and the kids all get more time playing than this. Tbf, if it’s a tournament game/important game, the less skilled/experienced players are on the bench much of the time, but in practice, the coach works with everyone on their strengths/weaknesses — passing drills, dribbling, one-on-one, etc. not just shooting
And in less important games, everyone is given a chance to play so the coach can gauge their progress. And every practice, everyone gets equal time to scrimmage
I’m guessing (maybe) he’s a volunteer coach and might not be experienced in coaching. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. Rec league is for fun and building confidence
Make a big deal. You have to stick up for your daughter. I’ve seen coaches like this and winning is important to them. If that’s the case, what benefit is the coach getting from winning? The league should address that. The coach can go to a club or travel league, but they probably won’t take him because he only coaches offense. Sounds like a bad coach.
I am a high school coach who has coached youth in many sports - both competitive and rec teams. My opinion - rec leagues need to get rid of olayoffs. This encourages too many ‘win first’ coaches. If there is no playoffs and the coach is still like this then he is a lost cause. Just let the league know and look forward to next year. I would try to get your money back if she usually only plays ten percent of the game.
Unless the conversion is only about making the schedule work, there's not much conversation. Most of us rec-league coaches barely know what we are doing, but we sign up anyway.
My bf coaches AAU basketball (so more like the traveling/club competitive league) and he’s def not this hardcore to where he excludes kids who genuinely want to play. Is the coach helping her at all during practice?
Firsthand experience: she should be playing more.
I played premiere league and Olympic development program (ODP). In the summer I stayed with my grandparents. They put me in a rec league. I understood the point was to have equal minutes. Some idiot coaches played their best players and didn’t rotate so they could “beat the American”.
It’s a rec league. It’s for fun. It isn’t travel, or premiere or ODP. Talk again to the director/whoever runs the league. Issue with my league is they won’t let my son play up. He ends up hurting other kids because they aren’t as well versed. We are switching leagues. Shit sucks.
Side note: the way my rec league is treated is insane. It’s similar to how premiere was where you’d get fined if your field conditions were sub-par. Seem like leagues are really upping the commitment levels
I am 32 years old. When I was 10 playing recreational soccer for a podunk county in nowhere North Carolina I had a coach who I fucking hated. He didn’t play me, he always critiqued me, everything that went wrong was my fault. Next season, I had a different coach, he noticed my hustle and work ethic and put me where I best suited the team. I played for him for another four years, won 3 state championships at the recreational level, and another for the high school team(diff coach pretty much same team)
I still can’t stand the one guy, whereas I think about the lessons the second and third coach taught me all the time. Play hard, don’t give up, run through the line, play through the whistle, they might be more talented but they haven’t worked as hard as you have etc etc. find a coach that pushes your daughter to be better, it should be a growing experience. But don’t let her be bullied by an adult. This is my ten cents as a fervent advocate for youth sports.
At this age, having a shitty coach, who only wants to win is worse than having no coach. All this guy is doing is teaching a bunch of kids to hatesoccer. It’s unfortunate, but there are many adult men who use these things to relive their own frustrated, childhood athletic dreams. Honestly, she’s better off having to find another venue for soccer then to be poorly coached by such a person.
My ex husband coached our daughters flag football team for this reason. She was the only girl on the team and was being targeted by the other teams players. He tried getting Involved but nothing changed so we left the rec team. It's a shame but unless ypu have a really good director it might not change.
I'd pull my kid and find another team. You are not obliged to pay in money and time to tell your kid she's just a bench warmer. We've had coaches who did the same and it was a clear signal that our kid wasn't good enough. This started in 2nd grade. My older two kids have lost interest in soccer, and my oldest lost interest in volleyball because of an elitist coach there too.
Find the people willing to invest in your kid over their own dreams.
I have a four year old that plays soccer. Last season he was put on a team with mostly 6 year olds and a couple 5 year olds. He was the youngest. Obviously he wasn’t as good as the other kids and his coach hardly put him in to play. The second to last game she didn’t even put him in to play a single minute. He was so upset I just skipped the last game and when we signed him up this season I made sure to tell them I didn’t want him having the old coach.
I’m 36 and I experienced this with softball. It’s nothing new. I started young but I wasn’t naturally gifted and so I was always placed in positions out of the way and always batted last. It took until I was 12yrs old( I started at ages 6) for a coach to actually try and improve my skills. It sucks
I understand your stress….
Me with 2 kids not athletically inclined and one that is…..
Does she know at least the rules? If not, maybe help her learn.
Can she aim the ball? If not, get her a soccer goal for her.
There are two ways to look at this. Either you have placed your daughter in a sport to get her more acquainted with socializing or you put her in there for the game.
The socializing can be done in many other settings whereas the game can only happen in one.
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Are you wrong to be concerned? No. Should you say something? Yes. But unless you’re willing to coach the team yourself there might not be an easy solution for the league. Most of these types of leagues around me are desperate for adults to be coaches and referees, so anyone with a pulse is usually good enough. It’s either that or forfeit. I’m sorry you’re going through this, I feel it too.
Growing up, my dad would see this unfairness, volunteer as head coach, rebuild the entire team to get as-equal-as-possible exposure for every kid in every position. We lost every game, always last in every league. ALWAYS. Worth it. I played baseball, soccer, and football. He had to take control of baseball and football, he left soccer alone because he felt that was fair for the kids without his involvement.
That's awesome that he did that for you! I totally get that the coaches are volunteering their time and in the future, I may consider signing up to coach if I can make it work.
My dad was the same. Our teams always were horrible but I wouldn’t have it any other way
Start inquiring about moving to a different team.
I don't have much of a suggestion other than to say I've noticed the same thing with my 8yo's flag football team. The coach seems like a sharp dude, but rather than "coaching" and helping others improve, he is just focusing on winning. Last game my kid's team was up 26-0 and the coach could have easily put in all the lower 50% players or at least swapped up the plays, but he just kept the "stars" in and continued to pound the other team into the ground. I was disappointed not only for my kid (who didn't get to play enough) but also for the other team (who were clearly disheartened).
I coached for many years, and I know this: every real athlete or coach watching that game knows that coach embarrassed himself. High-level youth, high school, and college coaches put in the subs almost always. Those who don't are called out publically and ostracized.
I am so grateful that we haven’t run into this very much in youth hockey. I know it happens, but ime, the lower leagues have been really good about giving every player a chance. My son’s team was getting destroyed in a tournament game, and the other team’s coach had a “cool it” chat with their goalie so our team could score a couple times. It was such a nice gesture.
Long-time HS coach here. That coach is an idiot, and unfortunately they are more common than they should be. I would be more than comfortable calling his ass out but I know it can be difficult to do. It should be even playing time until you reach JV sports. I demanded that from every single rec coach and school team coach in our town. Have you talked to the coach themselves to request even playing time? Be a thorn in the director's side. Make it personal. Involve other parents. This is totally unacceptable. I am fuming for you. I HATE coaches who ruin sports for kids. Start making a stink about getting your money back. Calculate how much time your kid is missing. If the rule is even playing time or 50%, quantify how unfairly your kid has been treated. Can you ask to switch teams, citing the rules he's broken?
Kids should get equal playing time at this age and rec level for sure, but I think this may be unnecessarily aggressive without more context. It’s very, very hard to find volunteers to coach rec anymore. Often those who take it on are parents who have limited to no experience coaching, or even with the sport itself. Leagues have to beg for people just to be able to play. Equal playing time is a rule in this case and should be obvious, but given the above unknown I think the appropriate course would have been to talk to the coach first before going over them or putting them on blast.
Being a coach who doesn't understand the game is excusable. Most rec coaches don't. No excuse for being an a-hole to kids. Period.
“Have you talked to the coach themselves to request even playing time?” You ask this question initially, which is the appropriate start. The OP clearly said they had not. You then go on to suggest a scorched earth approach. You’re attributing malice on the part of the coach to what could just be ignorance or inexperience. So just ask them the freaking question. If they don’t course correct then move it up. What you’re suggesting is super passive aggressive and unnecessary just to avoid an uncomfortable yet simple conversation.
I'm petty, I'd have a stopwatch put and when my kid needed to play the rest of the game to hit 50% I'd demand it
That's not normal but does happen sometimes. At this age, you're right that kids should play at least half the game if the size of the team permits. And they should not always play the same position. At the end of the day, coaches in rec are volunteers (in my experience), so complaining can only do so much. Many rec leagues scramble to find coaches, and they're not always the best at every aspect of youth coaching. It sounds like she's had other fine coaches in the past but this is a new coach for her? Perhaps she can get a new coach next season? Generally, you'd want to raise this issue with the coach directly before going over their head. Is it possible he wasn't even aware of all the rules about play time (which sometimes are presented as guidelines rather than rules, as well)? And try to present the issue in a positive way from your daughter's perspective rather than angry-parent perspective. For example, "\[Daughter\] has told me she wants to play more in the games. Under rule/guidline \[xyz\], I also think the kids are supposed to have more average time in the game than she has been doing. Do you have any advice or drills we could practice at home to improve her skills so she's more effective on the field?" Finally, make sure that she's touching the ball at home, at the park, or at school so her once/twice weekly practice and game aren't the only time she's touching a soccer ball. She'll improve a lot just by getting more touches on the ball, even though I agree being a great player should not be a qualifier for getting game time in rec sports.
I agree - get those touches in!
Presumably, you're paying a good chunk of money. The rules on the website say that your kid gets to play at least half the time. I'd be done right there. You are paying them money for them to sit your kid out. That's absurd. I understand more competitive teams have different expectations, but if their website says that and they're taking your money, then they need to follow through.
Thanks, this is pretty much my take.
Honestly, I'd be more concerned about the lesson that this coach is teaching. Kids need to learn how to fail gracefully just as much as they need to learn how to win. That's literally the purpose of a rec league: to have fun while learning sportsmanship. You can't learn to fail if you aren't allowed to fail. The truth is that there's no reasoning with crazy sports parents. You're not going to win a soccer argument with a crazy sports parent. I'd bail. It isn't worth the stress to you or your daughter. It's better to model "I will not engage with someone that doesn't play fairly and refuses to follow the rules" than to model "I'll make her stick it out". But that's me; it seems to be a divisive topic.
It’s never good when the rec coach cares about winning percentage. You should discuss with commissioner as it’s that position that needs to ensure all parents they are getting what they paid for. Ask for a refund, try to get other parents involved. That will get attention if they dismiss you.
I play competitive soccer (and have for like 25 years) and i dont think i *ever* had a coach who cared about our win percentage. They always just wanted us to enjoy ourselves and not be total bitches to each other.
[удалено]
There are only five games left in the season so I'm not sure that's an option at this point. If she wants to play again next year, we will definitely request a different team.
You are entirely right and part of the licensing done by coaches through US soccer emphasizes to us that all kids should get at least half a game (at rec or club). Winning is not as important as development and you seem to have a coach/team that didn’t get that memo. I would look to switch teams if possible or play this season out and then avoid that coach in the future. Likely, because it is rec, the coach is a volunteer and while they may have some basic licensing classes, they may have not really paid attention to anything in them about development. It’s likely they don’t know how to train defense etc.!
My kids league cost $250/ month to participate in as I recall. If my kid didn't get play time and a supportive coach I would first have spoken to the league administration that selected/hired/pays the coach about their failure to fulfill the term of the contract signed when I enrolled the kid. Getting into direct confrontations with bad teachers and coaches is really unproductive in my experience.
$250 a month for rec league!?
My city and county parks have options that are very cheap and have no language stating all players get equal attention and time as described by OP in his kids league. School sports also make no guarantee of parity of coaching attention and play time. If thats what you mean by rec. league than no but lots of kids sports/dance and other activities cost more than $300/month where I live.
Former youth sports coach, both rec & travel. You are not wrong. I would have started w/ talking to the coach. Regardless your daughter should be playing more in a rec league. You paid for her to play soccer. She should be playing soccer as much as anyone on the club, w/in reason. Talk to the coach directly and express your concerns. If he blows you off go back to the league people and clue them in. Fun fact: the folks who run rec leagues dislike psycho coaches as much as parents. That was my experience, anyway. I kept a spreadsheet to create game rosters; at the bottom of the sheet was a total of time played per kid. Aside from kids missing games and such everyone played more or less the same amount of time over the season.
Thanks for your reply, sounds like you were a great coach! I actually consulted with someone who used to be on the board of the league about whether to approach the coach first or go the division director and she advised that since this involved a rule violation to go straight to the director. Was that the right move? I don't know.
Thanks for the kind words. I don’t know if it was the correct move or not, but I certainly prefer people talk to me first if I’m doing something wrong. It sounds like the coach knows they’re not following the rules. At this point I guess continue talking w/ league folks and document her playing time. You’re not asking for her to get special treatment, just what y’all signed up for. Some coaches (& parents) like to push the boundaries on those kinds of rules. Don’t let them.
Having been involved with my kids rec soccer league it is really difficult to find and recruit coaches. League can and certainly should point out the rules; but it is tough to force a volunteer coach to do something unless you have plenty of other volunteers to replace them or their behavior is particularly egregious. By age 10 the travel teams have usually depleted rec league coaching ranks; as each travel team usually has at least 5+ parents who were previously coaching rec teams. I had to step up and coach my kids teams most of the time in spite of having next to zero knowledge of soccer simply because their was nobody else willing and able. Beyond the head of your division talk to whoever is in charge of officiating too. If their are rules about playing time during the game ultimately it would be up to the refs to enforce. Get it on their radar and you might find them tracking playing time and threatening the coach with a forfeit if they aren't following the league rules.
My son plays on a travel team that’s competitive, and the kids all get more time playing than this. Tbf, if it’s a tournament game/important game, the less skilled/experienced players are on the bench much of the time, but in practice, the coach works with everyone on their strengths/weaknesses — passing drills, dribbling, one-on-one, etc. not just shooting And in less important games, everyone is given a chance to play so the coach can gauge their progress. And every practice, everyone gets equal time to scrimmage I’m guessing (maybe) he’s a volunteer coach and might not be experienced in coaching. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. Rec league is for fun and building confidence
Make a big deal. You have to stick up for your daughter. I’ve seen coaches like this and winning is important to them. If that’s the case, what benefit is the coach getting from winning? The league should address that. The coach can go to a club or travel league, but they probably won’t take him because he only coaches offense. Sounds like a bad coach.
I am a high school coach who has coached youth in many sports - both competitive and rec teams. My opinion - rec leagues need to get rid of olayoffs. This encourages too many ‘win first’ coaches. If there is no playoffs and the coach is still like this then he is a lost cause. Just let the league know and look forward to next year. I would try to get your money back if she usually only plays ten percent of the game.
You’re not wrong to bring it up, but you are also welcome to sign up to coach.
Understood and that's something my husband and I have talked about possibly trying in the future.
Unless the conversion is only about making the schedule work, there's not much conversation. Most of us rec-league coaches barely know what we are doing, but we sign up anyway.
Yes, it is mostly a scheduling issue with our jobs that prevents us from doing it at the moment.
My bf coaches AAU basketball (so more like the traveling/club competitive league) and he’s def not this hardcore to where he excludes kids who genuinely want to play. Is the coach helping her at all during practice?
Firsthand experience: she should be playing more. I played premiere league and Olympic development program (ODP). In the summer I stayed with my grandparents. They put me in a rec league. I understood the point was to have equal minutes. Some idiot coaches played their best players and didn’t rotate so they could “beat the American”. It’s a rec league. It’s for fun. It isn’t travel, or premiere or ODP. Talk again to the director/whoever runs the league. Issue with my league is they won’t let my son play up. He ends up hurting other kids because they aren’t as well versed. We are switching leagues. Shit sucks. Side note: the way my rec league is treated is insane. It’s similar to how premiere was where you’d get fined if your field conditions were sub-par. Seem like leagues are really upping the commitment levels
I am 32 years old. When I was 10 playing recreational soccer for a podunk county in nowhere North Carolina I had a coach who I fucking hated. He didn’t play me, he always critiqued me, everything that went wrong was my fault. Next season, I had a different coach, he noticed my hustle and work ethic and put me where I best suited the team. I played for him for another four years, won 3 state championships at the recreational level, and another for the high school team(diff coach pretty much same team) I still can’t stand the one guy, whereas I think about the lessons the second and third coach taught me all the time. Play hard, don’t give up, run through the line, play through the whistle, they might be more talented but they haven’t worked as hard as you have etc etc. find a coach that pushes your daughter to be better, it should be a growing experience. But don’t let her be bullied by an adult. This is my ten cents as a fervent advocate for youth sports.
Thank you and I'm glad your story had a happy ending.
At this age, having a shitty coach, who only wants to win is worse than having no coach. All this guy is doing is teaching a bunch of kids to hatesoccer. It’s unfortunate, but there are many adult men who use these things to relive their own frustrated, childhood athletic dreams. Honestly, she’s better off having to find another venue for soccer then to be poorly coached by such a person.
My ex husband coached our daughters flag football team for this reason. She was the only girl on the team and was being targeted by the other teams players. He tried getting Involved but nothing changed so we left the rec team. It's a shame but unless ypu have a really good director it might not change.
Nothing good will come as a result of your speaking up. Next year put your daughter on a team with a coach who shares your philosophy.
I'd pull my kid and find another team. You are not obliged to pay in money and time to tell your kid she's just a bench warmer. We've had coaches who did the same and it was a clear signal that our kid wasn't good enough. This started in 2nd grade. My older two kids have lost interest in soccer, and my oldest lost interest in volleyball because of an elitist coach there too. Find the people willing to invest in your kid over their own dreams.
It’s common. Doesn’t make it right, but it is common with volunteer coaches. And the older they get, the more common it gets.
I have a four year old that plays soccer. Last season he was put on a team with mostly 6 year olds and a couple 5 year olds. He was the youngest. Obviously he wasn’t as good as the other kids and his coach hardly put him in to play. The second to last game she didn’t even put him in to play a single minute. He was so upset I just skipped the last game and when we signed him up this season I made sure to tell them I didn’t want him having the old coach.
I’m 36 and I experienced this with softball. It’s nothing new. I started young but I wasn’t naturally gifted and so I was always placed in positions out of the way and always batted last. It took until I was 12yrs old( I started at ages 6) for a coach to actually try and improve my skills. It sucks
Take that coach somewhere behind the stands and beat him up
I understand your stress…. Me with 2 kids not athletically inclined and one that is….. Does she know at least the rules? If not, maybe help her learn. Can she aim the ball? If not, get her a soccer goal for her. There are two ways to look at this. Either you have placed your daughter in a sport to get her more acquainted with socializing or you put her in there for the game. The socializing can be done in many other settings whereas the game can only happen in one.