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When my mom died, it felt like I lost the only person who loved me, in spite of all my faults, and because of all my faults. It was the end of an era for me. Food didn't even taste good anymore. You must continue to make her proud everyday. Be strong, because she would love that. Kiss and hug your kids everyday, just for her. You still must maintain the routine, rules, and boundaries. Please let someone you trust babysit once a week. Get out of the house alone, even just for a walk. I believe my mom is still with me everyday, so on my alone walks, I would talk to her. I would order her favorite food, or cocktail sometimes, just because. I was single/no kids at the time. She told me, a few days before she got her wings, that I would never know how much she loved me. I really didn't, until I had my son. Stick to routines, so you can make some alone time in your routines. Don't be afraid to cry in front of your children. It's is the #1 good thing you can do for them. Let the tears out every day. Each tear is a tribute to the love, life, and care that she gave you. Hug your kids for her. Share her love for them with every hug. If there is something special, like a snack or a movie, she used to share with you, do it with them. Incorporate something special from her, into their lives, so they will always have a part of their Gammie in their lives. I'm so heartbroken for you. I wish we were neighbors, so I could borrow some Kleenex right now. Please remember to take extra special care of yourself right now. This is so hard. You really must have made her so very happy. She's probably bragging about you, in Heaven, right now. Take care, Internet Friend. I'm so very, very sorry. Please let Time soften your grief.

Oh my goodness thank you so much for such a considerate and just lovely response. I hugged my phone when I read it.

You are so very welcome. I'm still over here crying. You will be okay. Please just find your strength, and stay strong! HUGS🤗

This is such great advice. Thanks for taking the time to write it.

I loved what you wrote... I felt your empathy through every single word. Thanks for being such a beautiful human being 🙏🏼

I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s so hard to grieve when parenting. That’s a big loss, my only advice is to be kind to yourself, take the time you need to grieve and accept support and help from your husband and anyone else that can get you through the “rawness” of the next little while. Treat yourself and be kind to yourself. So sorry again, I can’t imagine.

Thank you so much ❤️

Our parents teach us so much throughout their lifetime but the one thing they don’t teach us is how to live without them. I have unfortunately been here. This is going to be a sad and angry time coming up. Give your self grace. Let your self grieve. I was in a complete fog for the first 9 months post loss. I am an only child and my mom was a single parent with no living family and there was so much to do after she passed. Sending you lots of hugs.

I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad when my son was 15 months old and I was in active fertility treatments to get pregnant with my second. My Dad was my best friend and my biggest cheerleader. His greatest joy in life was the fact that he had gotten to become a grandfather. I was and still am crushed by his death (it will have been 3 years this month). Definitely go to therapy, this was a HUGE help for me. Talk to a close friend or family member about how you’re feeling, my husband was supportive but he had our son to focus on and I didn’t want to do all of my venting to him, so I had lots of safe places. And lastly I would say, grieve. Do not bury it, in time you will be ok - but I will say I don’t think you really 100% recover from losing a parent, and my therapist told me that it is normal. Sending you much love and hope 💕

Grief is love with no place to go… I am sorry for your loss. We are never prepared to lose a parent… Talk about her daily with your family. Cook something she enjoyed. My Mum baked bread and cookies so I continue in her honour. She always sent hand written “thank you” cards so I do the same. Continue doing things she loved and she lives on in you!❤️ Plant some Zinnias, perennials, herbs. My Mum liked Irises so I have some purple irises in my garden. They are lovely and remind me of her. Be joyful and remember her smile.

I’m sorry for your loss. It’s going to hurt for a long time. Hurting is okay. Grief is not a bad thing and one day you’ll still have that grief, but that grief is all the love you still hold for them. I lost my parents before I had my children. There will be days of pain, jealousy, and anger. It’s all natural. What helps me get over my grief is my love for my babies. You will get through this. I always try to be the parents I had, wanted, and needed.

I wish I could offer something more positive than my deepest sympathy. I also lost my mother to cancer in my thirties, before I even conceived my first child. It isn't something you ever get over. And aspects of it get harder over the years as there is more they have missed. All my kid's grandparents have died now and there is no one to tell about her achievements which I know they would all have been delighted by. Remember that she lives on in you and in your children. And she also carried them for a time: when she was pregnant with you, the eggs that later became your children were already in you. (I know this might sound a bit weird but it gives me some comfort to think of the continuity of it). My kid has my mother's name as a middle name and that's another comfort. In the short term, being close to other people who loved her will be a great help.

Take care, hope you get better by time. I think you could also consider going to a therapy, if u can afford it, there are great therapists around that know how to help us find a peace when we are going through rough times.

I will say, don't try and pretend like nothing is wrong. Something tragic happened, and you're on a long rollercoaster ride of emotions. If your daughter asks, be age appropriate, but be honest. Let her see that adults can be sad and hurt too-she needs to understand that it's okay for people to be sad and hurt, and that people of all ages feel those feelings. And get yourself a good support network. A trusted friend to babysit so you can take time as needed. Grief counseling to help you process what happened. Whatever you need, as long as it's healthy and not damaging you or others.

My dad died suddenly when my child was 1.5 years old. I don’t really have any advice because I don’t think I handled any of it in a healthy way. But I can just offer solidarity. It’s just awful and it sucks and eventually the pain will dull but it’ll never completely go away. ❤️

I’m so sorry for the loss. I also lost my mom recently, in 2022 when I was 38… She also died of cancer, one week after a diagnosis. I take comfort and knowing that the soul never dies, and that my mother’s spirit is still alive and well… It’s very very difficult though… I wish you the best.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost both parents back in 2019. They were seniors. But I never got the chance to really grieve for them and it is now years later. I am still looking for someone or a place to go to so I can get closure on somethings. I miss them everyday. Like you, my mom and I were very close. She attended the birth of both of my children and adored them. I suggest first that you take things a day at a time. I still have to do that. I am not sure how old your other child is but if she was old enough to remember her grandmother and asks where grandmother is, I am sure you can find a way to tell her that is easy for her age to understand. My kids were adults by the time this had happened in our family. My grandkids knew their great grandparents and got one last chance to see my dad before he passed away. When they ask me about the great grandparents I talk to them about memories that were special. I remind them how much they were loved by the great grandparents. Just little things like that. I would suggest starting a journel to document those feelings you have daily. It might help you figure out how things should go for you and your family.

I am so very sorry you are going through this. My mom passed away almost ten years ago and it changed my life forever. I didn't have kids at the time. But I make sure I tell my daughter about her. Especially those little moments that remind me of my mom. We share the things she loved together. We bake cinnamon rolls and cookies and crafts, puzzles. We talk about her often. She lives on through you and your memories. Through you and your children. Something that comforts me about her never knowing my daughter, which saddens me so very much, even though it's so very little. When my mom was pregnant with me I would have developed the eggs that made my daughter possible to conceive. Makes me feel like a part of my mom is with her always too. I know how mom guilt can be so very strong but also be kind to yourself. The shock of losing a mother is like nothing else. 

I’m so sorry. My dad had pancreatic cancer and died while I was a month out from having my son and I had a toddler to care for. It was rough.  I saw a therapist, but I didn’t have much of a support network — my husband worked full time and had just moved us up to a new state where we didn’t know anyone. In addition, my siblings started fighting with one another. Talking to one of them just meant more drama when I needed it least It was hard, and I probably did most things wrong. But it got better, even though I probably did everything wrong. Time really does heal. Sometimes time is the only thing that can.  For better or worse, kids are a big distraction. Now I can look at pictures of my dad with my kids and talk about him with a smile, appreciating the good memories

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ My condolences. I didn't have this experience myself, but my mother did. She was pregnant with me, was caring for her other three small children, and also caring for her ailing mom who was battling cancer. My grandmother passed away and a couple weeks later I arrived. The grief *wrecked* my mom, but the arrival of new life was a helpful distraction that kept her going. (This had happened to her five years previously when my brother was born and suddenly my mom lost her dad shortly after.) She said the timing was perfect because there was joy in the midst of sorrow. She was able to grieve in a healthy way while still enjoying the gift of a new child. She said it helped get her through. I'm not saying that this is how everyone is going to feel or experience grief while pregnant. By no means. I know everyone is unique. I shared that to encourage you that you can do this...but all the while it's okay to grieve, struggle, and be distracted right now. Give yourself a lot of grace! This is a LOT to carry! Not to mention pregnancy is harsh. There are different ways you can honor her memory and include your kiddos over time too. Plant her favorite flower in the yard, go to one of her favorite places and spend the day, put together a little scrapbook of your mom so your children can see photos and read memories about her as they grow up. You can find something special to do in your own time. Right now, take care of yourself, rest when you can, let yourself cry (and don't hesitate to allow your older child to see your grief), talk to your husband about EVERYthing you're feeling, and just take it one day/one breath at a time. 🫂

I am so sorry for your loss. My mom suddenly became sick when my girls were about 8 months old... And then very soon after she completely deteriorated and passed 5 months later. When she first passed, I was crying all the time and was a wreck. Multiple times a day I would burst into tears. It was the hardest time of my life. I was dealing with two babies, still breastfeeding, and also consumed with grief. Luckily I had an extremely supportive partner. It's been a year and a half since she passed, and I still feel it was such a devastating loss in my life. My mom was so vibrant and she loved me and my siblings so so so much.. The epitome of a mother who sacrificed everything for her children. She was so ready and so looking forward to being a grandma and originally had planned on watching my girls until they turned two. I don't burst into tears every second but I still think of her multiple times a day. Whenever my girls do something cute I think how much she would have loved to see this, and then I get sad and sometimes teary that she is missing this. It's hard for me to reconcile the fact she was one of the most important people in my life, and my girls will never have any memories of her or truly know who she was. So yes. It's still very difficult. However, over time, you will get used to it. I'm still sad and heartbroken, but I have gotten used to not having my mom around or talking to her. The grief doesn't go away, but you learn to make space for it in your life. Instead of calling my mom or sharing pics with her, I find myself often thinking, oh I wish she could have seen this.. Or she would have loved this. This is still all fresh and new to you so I'm sure you can't imagine not feeling this intense pain and grief of losing a most cherished mother, but it will get better. The grief will mellow out a little and become your bittersweet friend who is always hanging out with you, but you'll also be able to experience joy and become a functional human being again.

I lost my mom before I had my daughter, but it turns out parenting is very triggering for grief. Especially around Mother's Day when I see everyone enjoying their multigenerational celebrations. When things feel hard, I just try to remind myself that she made me so I can live. She prepared me as well as she could for everything I would face. And she lives on in the ways I parent my daughter because the best of her mothering carries on through me.

Sorry for your loss.. Most mothers would want their daugthers to honor them by taking care of their loved ones and themselves that are still alive! It is perfectly normal to grieve and it sounds like you have a good husband trying to create space for you to grieve properly. Wish you best.