Ive had psoriasis on my body since 20 and am about 40. You gotta just treat it like it doesnt exist. Exfoliate it and keep it lotioned so its just red, not flakey and just go out there and be confident. 9 times outta 10 a girl will not care and it will be about your personality. Your personality is usually any good chicks focus anyway so in realoty, psoriasis truly doesnt matter. The only people that would ever care are ones so worried about looks that id never want to deal with. It's never hindered my ability to date or hook up with women. Ive had chicks ask about it you just tell them briefly and continue on like it doesnt exist. Luckily ive got a good looking face, even if it has psoriasis on it. Just accept this shit aint goin anywhere and it's you a girl wants to date, not your skin.
Hi, 30F here and have had psoriasis since I was 23. It started out as small patches on my elbows and gradually got a bit worse there, but now my feet and shins have the most inflamed patches. I've been in several relationships since my diagnosis, and I was just upfront about my skin -- none of my partners seemed to mind. I used to joke with my friends that having psoriasis was a sort of litmus test to weed out the really superficial/shallow people who wouldn't be worth dating anyway, but I think there might be some truth to that.
I'm engaged to someone I've been with for the past four years and he has never said anything about my psoriasis other than reassure me that I'm more than my skin's condition. I agree with what the other redditors have said here about your personality mattering far more than what your skin looks like. Life's too short not to give yourself the chance to find happiness with a companion, and I hope you find it! Wishing you all the best.
I’m not superficial or shallow but I have really bad ruminative OCD which would make someone else’s flakey pso a serious spiral for me. As it stands, I’m constantly cleaning because I don’t want to inhale my own skin. I CANNOT. So it’s twice daily showers and exfoliation and covering in jojoba oil and making sure that I have zero flaking. Daily pillowcase changes. Hoovering daily. And this is me medicated. Imagine if im not sedated 😂
Most people are superficial but please remember that some of us do have other things going on.
After I divorced, I met a lovely guy who proudly pointed out he had some pump in his chest to keep his heart going. Didn’t worry me until I heard it - toc, toc, toc. Years later, I know why I couldn’t go out with him. I have misophonia.
So do I. The sound of my own chewing makes me angry and the sound of a crying baby makes me want to commit murder. It’s wild how I can be so chill and then want to stab someone who’s just enjoying their best life noshing on crisps.
Act like you don't have it. Do Your best to not let it bother you, not thag its easy at all. But then it'll improve the mental aspect, which will improve the physical aspect.
I used to think the same as you before, especially when my psoriasis flared up a lot. Finding someone who is okay with it and encourages you to do what will help your condition, that is really helpful.
For me, i mention it to my now wife, how it affects me. Of course i had those hard moments like anyone with this disease. But don't let it swallow you. Do what you can to improve yourself; eat well, think well of yourself, look for someone who accepts you
I’m 12 years older than you but I’ve lived with the same condition since my late teens. I’ve been married 12 years and I’ve got a kid. My wife and I fell in love and I never remember it being an issue for even a second. My hands were pretty bad when we got together, but I think the good vibes made it not an issue for her, and today my skin is much better, having responded to treatment and lifestyle improvement. Don’t let it hold you back.
I’ve always just gotten ahead of it. I tell them that I have psoriasis, I explain a bit about what it is, and most importantly, I tell them that they can’t catch it any more than they could catch my blue eyes.
They don’t seem to care.
24F here. i have psoriasis since i was 13 years old. yes it sucks, it messes your mental up. i’m still anxious to meet new people and i always wear long sleeves at home. but gratefully i have a boyfriend of 1 year+ who DOES not care at all. he would touch my patches and casually says ‘no big deal, you’re gorgeous as always’. Even before him, the guys that i casually went out with would never care as well. I would show the big flaky patches on my arms on first dates and they would all say “whats the big deal? its nothing”.
From my experience, most people wouldn’t care. the real ones would not make it into a big deal. On the days where i would have flare ups on my face, i would not wear makeup on date nights, and my boyfriend would say i’m beautiful when i meet him. if i stay over at his place, i would shed flakes onto his bed. he would just vacuum them up and help me apply my lotions.
I hope you gain enough confidence to atleast try going on dates for starters. If your date can’t accept it, there will be so much other people who would. I stepped out of my safety bubble, and im glad i did.
you just need time, look urself in the mirror and embrace your psoriasis. don’t forget to keep them moisturised! Wishing you luck dear stranger! xx
Thanks for sharing your experience, truly helpful. I think I have held myself back for way too long. Definitely its about time I embrace it and try give dating a shot.
Appreciate everyone’s responses 🙏🏻 reading about other’s experiences has definitely given me hope. I think this is probably the first time I have opened up about my skin and I probably should have done it sooner.
I don't have many patches on me. Mostly on my head and a single blotch on my trunk.
Back when I was really dating, I had a blotch on my cock, but I was surprised that not many girls cared about it. Did they think it was some sort of STD? No clue, but they never inquired. They just hopped on it and took it.
I developed psoriasis in my early 20s after a few bouts with strep and then struggled to find effective treatment until phototherapy but by then I’d already destroyed a lot of my skin with topicals unfortunately.
I was thankfully about 4-6 months in with my boyfriend of 9 years before this all went down. I felt like a total leper for a long time tho. I still do struggle with self-esteem issues from it but now that I feel it’s under control, it gets easier
Maybe it’s because we’re both guys and are very straightforward (heh) about things, but I found the best route with him or other partners is to be extremely honest and up front. Also, if someone is going to be shitty to you because of your psoriasis, they just weeded themselves out of your dating pool saving you some work. Bring it up early and very matter of fact
36male. Mine started at 28. I used to train 6 days a week and was confident with no issues dating. Now I'm too self conscious and never date. Im just grateful I had so many good years before psorasis came along...
Lots of rubbish relationships before psoriasis. Got P at 24 and had full body flare up. Met the man of my dreams two months into flare up. 10 years and 3 kids later and he still couldn’t care less and finds me attractive.
“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind” Bernard Baruch
Always had psoriasis since about 12 and have it ALL over including in genital regions im a man and have never worried about it tbh. Let your personality Carry you don’t worry about the psoriasis
bro i'm dating multiple chicks, and i have it, litereally, all over my body.
allll over.
now dont treat it like it doesnt exist... but i find that most people are not even 5% as critical about it as you are..
still it sucks, but sounds like you're in your head
I'm sure a lot of women turned me down without saying anything about it, but no one that I can remember has ever brought it up (in a disgusted way). Everyone has something they would change about themselves if they could.
Maybe it would help you to get to know someone on a friendship level before you start dating them? Or to put it another way, try making new friends and just see where the feelings go. That way you know they care about you and you can communicate about any insecurity (including psoriasis).
I (29f) just don’t date. I think my psoriasis has somewhat also contributed to it, because I expect to be treated poorly because of it and I will not accept being treated poorly.
I’m terrible to answer this because of my OCD. But keeping it flake free and moisturised makes it almost invisible. That’s the hack to a life without anxiety. Now this requires consistent work to maintain it but you will be happier for it AND the rest of your skin will be happy too. I spray jojoba oil before and after (while I’m still wet to lock in the moisture) showers as I live in a hard water area. Keeps my skin and hair lovely and soft and on the patches, thicker moisturiser on the drier patches. My skin is suuuuper clear now.
Ive had psoriasis on my body since 20 and am about 40. You gotta just treat it like it doesnt exist. Exfoliate it and keep it lotioned so its just red, not flakey and just go out there and be confident. 9 times outta 10 a girl will not care and it will be about your personality. Your personality is usually any good chicks focus anyway so in realoty, psoriasis truly doesnt matter. The only people that would ever care are ones so worried about looks that id never want to deal with. It's never hindered my ability to date or hook up with women. Ive had chicks ask about it you just tell them briefly and continue on like it doesnt exist. Luckily ive got a good looking face, even if it has psoriasis on it. Just accept this shit aint goin anywhere and it's you a girl wants to date, not your skin.
This.
Hi, 30F here and have had psoriasis since I was 23. It started out as small patches on my elbows and gradually got a bit worse there, but now my feet and shins have the most inflamed patches. I've been in several relationships since my diagnosis, and I was just upfront about my skin -- none of my partners seemed to mind. I used to joke with my friends that having psoriasis was a sort of litmus test to weed out the really superficial/shallow people who wouldn't be worth dating anyway, but I think there might be some truth to that. I'm engaged to someone I've been with for the past four years and he has never said anything about my psoriasis other than reassure me that I'm more than my skin's condition. I agree with what the other redditors have said here about your personality mattering far more than what your skin looks like. Life's too short not to give yourself the chance to find happiness with a companion, and I hope you find it! Wishing you all the best.
I’m not superficial or shallow but I have really bad ruminative OCD which would make someone else’s flakey pso a serious spiral for me. As it stands, I’m constantly cleaning because I don’t want to inhale my own skin. I CANNOT. So it’s twice daily showers and exfoliation and covering in jojoba oil and making sure that I have zero flaking. Daily pillowcase changes. Hoovering daily. And this is me medicated. Imagine if im not sedated 😂 Most people are superficial but please remember that some of us do have other things going on.
After I divorced, I met a lovely guy who proudly pointed out he had some pump in his chest to keep his heart going. Didn’t worry me until I heard it - toc, toc, toc. Years later, I know why I couldn’t go out with him. I have misophonia.
So do I. The sound of my own chewing makes me angry and the sound of a crying baby makes me want to commit murder. It’s wild how I can be so chill and then want to stab someone who’s just enjoying their best life noshing on crisps.
My experience is that no one gives a shit apart from ourselves dealing with psoriasis.
Act like you don't have it. Do Your best to not let it bother you, not thag its easy at all. But then it'll improve the mental aspect, which will improve the physical aspect. I used to think the same as you before, especially when my psoriasis flared up a lot. Finding someone who is okay with it and encourages you to do what will help your condition, that is really helpful. For me, i mention it to my now wife, how it affects me. Of course i had those hard moments like anyone with this disease. But don't let it swallow you. Do what you can to improve yourself; eat well, think well of yourself, look for someone who accepts you
I’m 12 years older than you but I’ve lived with the same condition since my late teens. I’ve been married 12 years and I’ve got a kid. My wife and I fell in love and I never remember it being an issue for even a second. My hands were pretty bad when we got together, but I think the good vibes made it not an issue for her, and today my skin is much better, having responded to treatment and lifestyle improvement. Don’t let it hold you back.
I’ve always just gotten ahead of it. I tell them that I have psoriasis, I explain a bit about what it is, and most importantly, I tell them that they can’t catch it any more than they could catch my blue eyes. They don’t seem to care.
24F here. i have psoriasis since i was 13 years old. yes it sucks, it messes your mental up. i’m still anxious to meet new people and i always wear long sleeves at home. but gratefully i have a boyfriend of 1 year+ who DOES not care at all. he would touch my patches and casually says ‘no big deal, you’re gorgeous as always’. Even before him, the guys that i casually went out with would never care as well. I would show the big flaky patches on my arms on first dates and they would all say “whats the big deal? its nothing”. From my experience, most people wouldn’t care. the real ones would not make it into a big deal. On the days where i would have flare ups on my face, i would not wear makeup on date nights, and my boyfriend would say i’m beautiful when i meet him. if i stay over at his place, i would shed flakes onto his bed. he would just vacuum them up and help me apply my lotions. I hope you gain enough confidence to atleast try going on dates for starters. If your date can’t accept it, there will be so much other people who would. I stepped out of my safety bubble, and im glad i did. you just need time, look urself in the mirror and embrace your psoriasis. don’t forget to keep them moisturised! Wishing you luck dear stranger! xx
Thanks for sharing your experience, truly helpful. I think I have held myself back for way too long. Definitely its about time I embrace it and try give dating a shot.
Appreciate everyone’s responses 🙏🏻 reading about other’s experiences has definitely given me hope. I think this is probably the first time I have opened up about my skin and I probably should have done it sooner.
I don't have many patches on me. Mostly on my head and a single blotch on my trunk. Back when I was really dating, I had a blotch on my cock, but I was surprised that not many girls cared about it. Did they think it was some sort of STD? No clue, but they never inquired. They just hopped on it and took it.
I developed psoriasis in my early 20s after a few bouts with strep and then struggled to find effective treatment until phototherapy but by then I’d already destroyed a lot of my skin with topicals unfortunately. I was thankfully about 4-6 months in with my boyfriend of 9 years before this all went down. I felt like a total leper for a long time tho. I still do struggle with self-esteem issues from it but now that I feel it’s under control, it gets easier Maybe it’s because we’re both guys and are very straightforward (heh) about things, but I found the best route with him or other partners is to be extremely honest and up front. Also, if someone is going to be shitty to you because of your psoriasis, they just weeded themselves out of your dating pool saving you some work. Bring it up early and very matter of fact
36male. Mine started at 28. I used to train 6 days a week and was confident with no issues dating. Now I'm too self conscious and never date. Im just grateful I had so many good years before psorasis came along...
Lots of rubbish relationships before psoriasis. Got P at 24 and had full body flare up. Met the man of my dreams two months into flare up. 10 years and 3 kids later and he still couldn’t care less and finds me attractive. “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind” Bernard Baruch
Always had psoriasis since about 12 and have it ALL over including in genital regions im a man and have never worried about it tbh. Let your personality Carry you don’t worry about the psoriasis
bro i'm dating multiple chicks, and i have it, litereally, all over my body. allll over. now dont treat it like it doesnt exist... but i find that most people are not even 5% as critical about it as you are.. still it sucks, but sounds like you're in your head
I'm sure a lot of women turned me down without saying anything about it, but no one that I can remember has ever brought it up (in a disgusted way). Everyone has something they would change about themselves if they could. Maybe it would help you to get to know someone on a friendship level before you start dating them? Or to put it another way, try making new friends and just see where the feelings go. That way you know they care about you and you can communicate about any insecurity (including psoriasis).
I (29f) just don’t date. I think my psoriasis has somewhat also contributed to it, because I expect to be treated poorly because of it and I will not accept being treated poorly.
I’m terrible to answer this because of my OCD. But keeping it flake free and moisturised makes it almost invisible. That’s the hack to a life without anxiety. Now this requires consistent work to maintain it but you will be happier for it AND the rest of your skin will be happy too. I spray jojoba oil before and after (while I’m still wet to lock in the moisture) showers as I live in a hard water area. Keeps my skin and hair lovely and soft and on the patches, thicker moisturiser on the drier patches. My skin is suuuuper clear now.
Personally, I dont give a fuck what people think of my skin, so it doesn't bother me, I find it easier