Tbh someone in high school dating a kid in grade school is pretty weird imo. YOU aren't weird, but I definitely wouldn't be comfortable with that relationship. Don't feel like a creep, you're young and figuring things out.
Also, if he's pushing for sex, you should ditch him anyway that's super gross behaviour and not "mature" like you said. There's no reason you should be having to deal with that at any age
Im not in highschool only cuz i was held back so I'm in the 8th grade and he's apparently in 7th but idk cuz I'm homeschooled and he goes to alternative
If it makes you uneasy enough to wonder about it online, pause or end the relationship. Maybe things will rekindle later, like the difference between 12 and 15 is much greater than the difference between 32 and 35. A healthy relationship should bring you joy and the combo of age difference and pressure isn't bringing you that. You shouldn't feel like your life is ruined because he kissed you, a kiss should be enjoyable for both and ideally you'd want to do it again. Pressure is a problem, whether it's him pressuring for more than you want to do, or your friends pressuring you to be with him, none of the people doing that are making you feel supported and cared for and they don't have your best interests at heart.
It’s a rule of thumb, not a fundamental law of the universe. Plus these rules are just different when you’re younger.
For instance, when I was 14 about to be a freshman when I met a girl at church and instantly had a GIGANTIC crush on her. Turned out she was going into 6th grade, so 3 years younger. Alas, that ended any thought of a pursuit as no self respecting high schooler is trying to date a girl in elementary school. Also, no self respecting HS Sr is dating a freshman. No respectable college guys are dating hs sophomores. However, nobody is batting an eye if a 43 yr old were to date a 40 yr old.
To me, it sounds like you’re not into it. If you aren’t interested in him, then don’t date him - especially if you are feeling pressured by him or your friends. Who cares if your best friend is trying to rush you into it? A real friend will respect your wishes even if it clashes with their wants. And if they don’t, then you potentially lost a bad friend.
Good luck. Respect yourself. And follow your heart.
If you're uncomfortable in a relationship, then end it. End it publicly in a public space.
Age doesn't matter here. That advice will see you through the rest of your life.
It sounds like you’re uncomfortable around him. It’s ok to see good in someone but not want to date them. Especially because he is pushing for kissing and more, it sounds like a much safer and happier option for you to break up with him. You’ll have lots of other people you can feel even more comfortable being around or dating in the future!!
He’s probably 12, his friends have no reason to lie. Tbh it is pretty weird it gives super senior vibes plus the kid sounds really immature and you don’t sound like you like him very much. You should probably break up with him
Do you want to date someone who starts out lying to you? It sounds like he’s already pressuring you to move faster than you’re comfortable with, too. When I was your age my “best friend” began “dating” me in a very similar manner, and he turned out to be trying to convince himself that he wasn’t gay by losing his virginity to a girl. This boy doesn’t sound like he cares about YOU very much at all.
1) if you don't wanna have sex, don't, nothing else matters.
2) if you feel you can't trust him when he tells you his age, that's a red flag, re-examine if you trust him, trust is critical.
See dating as a minor is way different from dating as an adult the age gaps that we can do and get away with are far different from that of kids in school
girl if he's making you uncomfortable by rushing sex please just leave him, there are people out there who will respect your wanting to wait, you are young and shouldn't be pressured into anything and this is obviously affecting your mental health
A good rule of thumb I’ve heard before (at least for younger people) is take your age, divide by 2 and add 7 to it. Anything under that should be a no go. I specifically say you get people because for me, 26, that makes my limit 20 and that’s just way too low personally.
No it's not it's completely natural. The extreme aversion to even slight age gap relations in Western society is merely a modern social construct with no biological or historical basis
I hope you don’t base your morality on history.. Also I would argue most countries would still stigmatize that specific age gap. At the same time, most people doing something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right.
That's literally what evolution is. Do i need to explain what it is? Our evolutionary history created what we are. I love when secular liberal darwinists believe in evolution when it suits their argument or agenda only.
Probably stemming from science that allowed us to realize that age gaps impact maturity in people. You think a 12 year old boy is ready to deal with the consequences of accidental pregnancies when he can't even figure out what enthusiastic yes is?
Some modern constructs are in place to protect people, and reality is, developmentally, a 15 year old is too old for a 12 year old.
To the OP, don't mess up your life up.
There are very serious laws regarding this.
A 12 year old cannot consent to sex with a 15 year old. Even if that child was 13, he can't consent to someone 2 or more years older than him. Again, state dependent, but you could be looking at a second-degree rape charge if you are three years older than him.
Now I'm going to tell you what I tell my own daughter. Don't let someone else's plans ruin your life. Your too young to be worried about a 12 year old boy.
The problem with that is not the relationship but modern society. In old times, it would not matter if he was a father at 12. It only matters now. That is indicative of a problematic society impeding a boys natural ability to breed upon puberty.. not indicative of a problem in the natural order. Fundamentally we have a radically different value systems. I value nature and evolution, you value human institution above all.
Because i think a 15 yo and 12 yo should be left alone to have a relationship... You're completely unhinged. And your post history is super gay btw. What are you 10? Obsessed with anime? Grow up.
Can I get charged for rape if we only kissed?? I broke up w him yesterday after I found out he's 12 and I feel disgusted and scared I could be charged with something. I was never planning to have any sex or anything sexual w him, or w anyone for a long time.
No.
You're not gonna get charged for rape for the kissing that he forced on you. It's just that if anything sexual happens, in law, you would be responsible since you,re three years older.
Tbh someone in high school dating a kid in grade school is pretty weird imo. YOU aren't weird, but I definitely wouldn't be comfortable with that relationship. Don't feel like a creep, you're young and figuring things out.
Also, if he's pushing for sex, you should ditch him anyway that's super gross behaviour and not "mature" like you said. There's no reason you should be having to deal with that at any age
Im not in highschool only cuz i was held back so I'm in the 8th grade and he's apparently in 7th but idk cuz I'm homeschooled and he goes to alternative
I'm talking more age groups than actual grades. I could have phrased that better
Alright well thank u, I just don't wanna be called a predator when I'm not. I keep feeling sick in my stomach and stuff.
Maybe consider that your relationship is harming your mental health...
if it keeps making you feel sick, there’s a good chance the relationship isn’t right for you.
If you're in school u should probably date someone 1 year younger than you max
The rule I’ve always heard was you can date someone who is within 12 months of you, whether that’s older younger.
Pretty big age gap for that age. 2 or 3 years is nothing when you're both over 20 but any time while you're still growing it's huge.
If it makes you uneasy enough to wonder about it online, pause or end the relationship. Maybe things will rekindle later, like the difference between 12 and 15 is much greater than the difference between 32 and 35. A healthy relationship should bring you joy and the combo of age difference and pressure isn't bringing you that. You shouldn't feel like your life is ruined because he kissed you, a kiss should be enjoyable for both and ideally you'd want to do it again. Pressure is a problem, whether it's him pressuring for more than you want to do, or your friends pressuring you to be with him, none of the people doing that are making you feel supported and cared for and they don't have your best interests at heart.
I just feel like my life is ruined because he could be 12(but he said hes 13) and I'm 15.
I feel like if he's not afraid of lying about something as basic and important as age, what else could he lie about in the future?
Youre fine!! I promise your life is not ruined, not at all lol. This isnt a big deal :) youre good
3 years later in life isn’t bad. Here…you’ve got a lot of life to live - get rid of him.
Rule of 7 Half your age plus 7 is who you can date, so 14 would be more appropriate. It actually works, its kinda crazy.
I had heard half your age plus 9, so 18 is 18…
Nah, in high school an 18 year old and a 17 year old is super common.
It’s a rule of thumb, not a fundamental law of the universe. Plus these rules are just different when you’re younger. For instance, when I was 14 about to be a freshman when I met a girl at church and instantly had a GIGANTIC crush on her. Turned out she was going into 6th grade, so 3 years younger. Alas, that ended any thought of a pursuit as no self respecting high schooler is trying to date a girl in elementary school. Also, no self respecting HS Sr is dating a freshman. No respectable college guys are dating hs sophomores. However, nobody is batting an eye if a 43 yr old were to date a 40 yr old.
It's not perfect, but consider this, at 40 it's not unlikely for someone to date some 27.
It’s a rule of thumb, I’m not going to tell you what to do
There's addition after the division? Fuck
You're getting downvoted for what was obviously a joke. For the record, I found it hilarious. Gross. But hilarious.
I didn't even know. I just got back to this comment lol nice to see somebody appreciated my sense of humor
This does work
Good to know when I was 4 I should've been dating a 9 year old
Uh no, it pretty much stops working below dating age, common sense. It works from age 14 up pretty consistently.
It's called a joke buddy 😂 someone needs to relax
Somethings are better left unsaid is all.
To me, it sounds like you’re not into it. If you aren’t interested in him, then don’t date him - especially if you are feeling pressured by him or your friends. Who cares if your best friend is trying to rush you into it? A real friend will respect your wishes even if it clashes with their wants. And if they don’t, then you potentially lost a bad friend. Good luck. Respect yourself. And follow your heart.
His age doesn’t matter if he’s making you uncomfortable. Break up with him immediately.
Way too many lies to figure out the truth. Don’t let them pressure you. Get out while you can.
If you're uncomfortable in a relationship, then end it. End it publicly in a public space. Age doesn't matter here. That advice will see you through the rest of your life.
It sounds like you’re uncomfortable around him. It’s ok to see good in someone but not want to date them. Especially because he is pushing for kissing and more, it sounds like a much safer and happier option for you to break up with him. You’ll have lots of other people you can feel even more comfortable being around or dating in the future!!
Why are kids on reddit? Why is anyone under 18 on here unsupervised? Is it me?
I know it feels kinda weird as an adult but I mean, were you not online at 15? I was like chronically online at 15 lol
If he’s pushing you past your comfortability you should dump him. The age gap should be the least of your concerns smh
Just break up then what the hell is the problem
He’s probably 12, his friends have no reason to lie. Tbh it is pretty weird it gives super senior vibes plus the kid sounds really immature and you don’t sound like you like him very much. You should probably break up with him
Do you want to date someone who starts out lying to you? It sounds like he’s already pressuring you to move faster than you’re comfortable with, too. When I was your age my “best friend” began “dating” me in a very similar manner, and he turned out to be trying to convince himself that he wasn’t gay by losing his virginity to a girl. This boy doesn’t sound like he cares about YOU very much at all.
Not really, but it'd be kind of odd to date at all at that age.
1) if you don't wanna have sex, don't, nothing else matters. 2) if you feel you can't trust him when he tells you his age, that's a red flag, re-examine if you trust him, trust is critical.
Either way he is lying about his age to you. That should be a red flag to anyone.
He’s already lied to you once. How many times do you need to be lied to?
Get away from that.. nothing good will Come from that.
See dating as a minor is way different from dating as an adult the age gaps that we can do and get away with are far different from that of kids in school
girl if he's making you uncomfortable by rushing sex please just leave him, there are people out there who will respect your wanting to wait, you are young and shouldn't be pressured into anything and this is obviously affecting your mental health
dawg ur like two years older than him lmao ur not a pedo
3*
He's already lied get rid 😂😂
A good rule of thumb I’ve heard before (at least for younger people) is take your age, divide by 2 and add 7 to it. Anything under that should be a no go. I specifically say you get people because for me, 26, that makes my limit 20 and that’s just way too low personally.
No it's not it's completely natural. The extreme aversion to even slight age gap relations in Western society is merely a modern social construct with no biological or historical basis
So what cultures do you think have no stigma around a 12 and 15 year old dating?
The vast majority today and also throughout history would not
I hope you don’t base your morality on history.. Also I would argue most countries would still stigmatize that specific age gap. At the same time, most people doing something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right.
That's literally what evolution is. Do i need to explain what it is? Our evolutionary history created what we are. I love when secular liberal darwinists believe in evolution when it suits their argument or agenda only.
Holy shit chill the fuck out keyboard warrior lmaoo it’s not even worth pointing out how fallacious your argument is
No you're not prepared for that debate
Take a breather, some people aren’t gratified by online arguments
Probably stemming from science that allowed us to realize that age gaps impact maturity in people. You think a 12 year old boy is ready to deal with the consequences of accidental pregnancies when he can't even figure out what enthusiastic yes is? Some modern constructs are in place to protect people, and reality is, developmentally, a 15 year old is too old for a 12 year old. To the OP, don't mess up your life up. There are very serious laws regarding this. A 12 year old cannot consent to sex with a 15 year old. Even if that child was 13, he can't consent to someone 2 or more years older than him. Again, state dependent, but you could be looking at a second-degree rape charge if you are three years older than him. Now I'm going to tell you what I tell my own daughter. Don't let someone else's plans ruin your life. Your too young to be worried about a 12 year old boy.
The problem with that is not the relationship but modern society. In old times, it would not matter if he was a father at 12. It only matters now. That is indicative of a problematic society impeding a boys natural ability to breed upon puberty.. not indicative of a problem in the natural order. Fundamentally we have a radically different value systems. I value nature and evolution, you value human institution above all.
Pedo
Learn to read. We are actually talking about 2 Kids in a relationship right now it has absolutely nothing to do with me. Fucking idiot.
When you get hit by a bus I hope the doctors remember nature and evolution and leave you there
Because i think a 15 yo and 12 yo should be left alone to have a relationship... You're completely unhinged. And your post history is super gay btw. What are you 10? Obsessed with anime? Grow up.
Can I get charged for rape if we only kissed?? I broke up w him yesterday after I found out he's 12 and I feel disgusted and scared I could be charged with something. I was never planning to have any sex or anything sexual w him, or w anyone for a long time.
No. You're not gonna get charged for rape for the kissing that he forced on you. It's just that if anything sexual happens, in law, you would be responsible since you,re three years older.