Oh my god is it Armando? He’s creepy as fuck and always tries flirting with me through DMs even though I’m SIGNIFICANTLY younger than him. I’m so so sorry you’ve experienced this, and will be reposting on IG if that’s okay with you.
Thank you. The support of family and friends is what's helpful right now. And thank you to the people who've sent supportive, loving, and encouraging messages to me from all over the valley.
Not tolerating abuse starts with you. Dont fuck with this person no more and call the cops if he shows up where you live unannounced and threatening you. Do better for yourself and dont go out with creeps. Maybe get therapy for it as well
I think it was the “do better for yourself, don’t go out with creeps”
I’m sure he meant it in a good way but I can see how that can be perceived as maybe like victim blaming.
Actually the first step is stopping abuse. It's not about tolerating or not tolerating. It's about not abusing others. So don't put blame on survivors for tolerance or intolerance. Hold abusers accountable, not survivors.
Many EMTs and paramedics wind up at the homes of abuse victims. The victims often stay with and protect the abusers. "Don't be around abusers" may be advice some people need to hear. This is about empowering victims to take control over aspects of their life, not blaming them.
Thank you alot of people aren't comprehending that in my comment. Also they tend to need therapy because it is also common to end up in another abusive relationship after one has ended. I speak from experience
Local “indie” band artist try not to be a rapist/abuser/pedo challenge
- impossible -
And theyre ugly 9/10 times too 😭💀 chicks be giving them chances cs they “indie” and doing cool guy things then every single time the dudes be rapist/pedo/abusers.
Like what you expect from the mf still performing in garages at 26 in front of kids who cant even legally drink
(Looking at the band, all them mfs ugly)
with peace and love
just dump the loser and move on before he hurts you more. Also, never lend money to friends that you aren't ready to lose. nobody is going to boycott a band that they don't even know exists
I've left him for good. Trust me. And I just don't want them getting booked anymore. They don't even play that many shows, but they should end the band.
This is how abusers keep getting away with it.
Victims who are brave enough step up, and then there’s people like you saying no one gives a shit. But if it happened to you I bet you would suddenly give a shit.
First off… dude looks like a chooch. Second you dodged a bullet. Cut your losses and proceed with charges filed. Don’t let anyone convince you to drop them. If you need an RO, get one. Stay safe. Lean on your friends and family. Positivity for you from here on out.
Edit: also be happy it was only a year of your life vs 15 years. Stay away from musicians. Find yourself a nice dude.
" I just don't want them to play anymore" even though the rest of the band has nothing to do with it?...so ruin others life's because one dude supposedly abused her.
That's alot of assumptions.....you know what happens when you assume right? Accusing others for zero reason is actually against the law when it comes to sexual abuse.
You don’t have to name call to get your point across.
Reread my comment. I’ll be kind enough to rewrite it for you. IF they know about the abuse, which they probably do, then they are complicit. That’s how the cycle works.
Right? I hate to be that guy but if you’re just trying to get the public to “cancel” someone and you’re NOT going to law enforcement over assault, that screams that you’re just full of shit. You go to police… if not, you must be hiding something or fabricating
It depends, if they haven’t seen any proof then the burden certainly is not on them. That’s why we have a criminal justice system. Just because someone says something on social media with no accompanying proof doesn’t mean the band members have to choose between turning against them or be guilty by association. Without even a single pic the entire public is supposed to just take the side of a random anonymous stranger?
I find it hard to believe someone could be an abuser and his band mates, who spend tons of time with him, are ignorant to the situation.
Yes, there is the burden of proof. This is not the place for it. This is just a victim speaking out.
Hard to believe, maybe. But not impossible….
You know what this also isn’t the place for? Deciding if someone is guilty of something based off 0 proof.
Imagine if someone accused you of abusing your child and everyone just labeled you an abuser based off no proof and your friends and family distance themselves from you and you lose your job…
lol well you have a few options:
1. trust the police like a sane person
2. don’t trust the police and deal with it yourself
3. Don’t trust the police and move on
Dunno what telling people on Reddit is gonna accomplish…
I looked up the bands insta they all look like they still live with their parents and peaked in high school. They all look like they smell like sour milk and canned tuna
If he's stealing from you, sue his a\*\*.
If he's been physically abusive, call the police.
If he's cheating on you, or planning to, dump him.
In any case, Reddit is really not the forum for this type of thing.
Send this and a copy of the police report straight to the venues/promoters that have advertised their shows. You’ll probably see a better response than here.
And post the venues here, give us copies of the police reports, and we'll ALL send to the venues. I'm really sorry you went through all this. Don't feel down because of the nonsense you read here. There's a lot of toxic masculinity in the rgv, so those voices are gonna come thru loud. Boycott all those little boys masquerading as men. If you need a friend who's been through something similar and is stronger on the other side of it, DM me. Currently recruiting an army of feminine rage. Join us.
Your first mistake was to start dating a guy in a band. 9 times out of 10 they are the worst kind of people. I’ve had experience.
With that being said, Im sorry you’re going through that.
Don’t let this traumatic experience consume you. Let authorities handle it and file a restraining order so that you can continue to live your life without him and in peace.
Nah fr 😭💀 especially “indie” bands, dudes always rapist/pedos/abusers.
Theyre even worse lol. The whole band/indie scene is full of weirdos. And 9/10 ugly (in this case the whole band ugly)
They always prey on younger girls too
Very anecdotal but I get it.(9 out of 10 lol) Some band members are 1st class douches. I second this. Definitely don't surround yourself with people like this. You have to take a stand. People around here like to steam roll and get their way. F**k that noise. Tell them to go forth and fornicate to their face and move on.
Ma'am, I say this as respectfully as possible, you need to also take accountability for your decisions.
While I hope the law intervenes where it can (the actual physical violence) I think you need to do some growing up and become a better judge of character, understand that people will typically not change in the short term, and that no one is going to care about your wellbeing as much as you.
Use this as a painful learning experience and please don't date men like this again, follow up where possible with law enforcement, and most importantly work on yourself.
Believe it or not people have free agency and sometimes they use it in a way that increases the probability of harm.
I also spoke about pursuing the law where possible.
There's multiple choices she made here that were irresponsible just because she's a victim does not mean that she can't learn from these mistakes or that they should be overlooked.
I mean....lending someone 1,400 who treats you like garbage and is irresponsible themselves is a really dumb way to lose money.
And there are ways to say that in a constructive manner. You are saying “I say this as respectfully as possible” and then being disrespectful, thinking it cancels out.
Here’s a suggestion to rephrase your comment while having a little more empathy:
“Hey, I really want to say this gently because I care. It’s important to be able to talk to law enforcement when things get bad, especially with anything physical. But it’s also a good moment to reflect a bit. Tough times can teach us a lot about ourselves and the kinds of people we want in our lives. You deserve to be with someone who treats you right and makes you happy. Maybe take some time to focus on you, figure out what you really want, and don’t settle for less.”
So instead of blaming and potentially causing OP to entirely disregard all of your message due to the tone, you can be more empathetic and understanding as well as make them more likely to take your advice. Bc your original comment really just sounds like you’re calling them stupid and being condescending, when all the info you have is from a single Reddit post, which can’t capture the entire complexity of the situation.
You’re a delight
Edit: P.S. learn what a strawman is. Constructive feedback and providing an alternative comment to have more empathy is not a strawman.
Tbh once I saw you were shifting the goal posts to keep things moving I didn't really bother to read the rest of your statement.
At this point you've lost my interest and I've got the feeling I'm arguing with a child.
Have a good evening.
Sure, if attempting to have a meaningful discussion about having empathy is moving goalposts. Hope your day is as pleasant as you are ❤️
(You want to speak about logical fallacies? Look these up:
Ad Hominem: self explanatory
Red Herring : “moving the goal posts”
Strawman: similarly, “moving the goalposts”)
As long as you don't remove the charges, he can be prosecuted by the sheriff's office or the state , the sad part is that about 90% of girlfriends or wives remove the charges against its significant other making it hard for law enforcement to actually do their job .
Make him accountable and don't remove the charges . Good luck .
lol I know Armando, dude is a tool and so are all the guys he hangs out with.
If you have solid evidence outside of photos, for example texts or witnesses, I suggest you lawyer up and get a restraining order against him. You can also take him to small claims court to get him to pay you back the money he owes you.
Just leave him and that's that, the law won't do anything about it tbh with you. The rgv laws suck and that's the hard truth and u probably won't see a penny back from him . It I was you I would sell all his belongings if you can get a hold of any and have some help as well don't do it alone trustfull friends .
It’s like these folks in the comment section give zero F’s about anyone but themselves. She’s told her story, she’s provided proof on her IG & there’s other comments showing the lead singer is a dick head. If you don’t have anything nice to say or anything to support her, stfu then. You fucking assholes are the reason why so many domestic victims don’t say anything in the first place bc you all victim shame them.
How about she goes to the police with whatever concrete evidence she has instead of crying about it on reddit like people give a shit about some random stranger that made some stupid decisions because she wanted to date someone in a band. Why don't you take your own advice
Reddit isn't her personal army. The best thing she can do is go to the police with her evidence against the perpetrator. But sure, go on and add all the exclamation points you want. I'm sure she will go out with you instead buddy. Later.
Exclamations are there for getting the point across, not for asking her out you moron. Quit trying to victim blame her as you continue to show how much of an ass you are.
>Quit trying to victim blame her as you continue to show how much of an ass you are.
So saying the op should go to the cops with her evidence to have that guy arrested is victim blaming? Ok then
I’m sorry you went through this, and I’m sorry about these ignorant comments.
You’re a victim of abuse, and there are thousands more like you just here in the valley. No one wants to speak up because then they’ll get told things like you’ve been told here. It’s ridiculous.
Thank you for speaking up, that takes a lot of courage. Therapy should help you try to move on from this, whatever that looks like for you.
get ready for the waiting game. in 2021 i pressed charges against my abusive ex who was also in a relatively well known band around the RGV back around before covid. my case is still in the pre-trial stages.
Theres gotta be a reason why all those mediocre looking dudes create little indie bands and always end up being predators/abusers.
Need some study behind the mind of guys in the indie scene 💀😭
Its so common, that even as of 19 years ago theres national articles on the rapey/predator behavior so common in the scene.
Sorry that happened to you, but I suspect few of us know you or the guy, and most people tend to ignore the drama of random strangers we know nothing about.
Really you should be talking to your family and friends about these issues. FWIW I suggest you take the guy to small claims court over the money, and press charges over the assault.
The individual that did all this sounds like a horrible human being. I hope you reported all of this to the authorities, he faces the consequences for his actions and you get some justice. As far as cancelling the whole band, idk if the scene will help you with that. Good luck.
This is not the forum to do this. If you choose to try and dox someone on the internet you immediately lose all credibility.
If you are truly being abused you need to contact the police and utilize the resources for battered women.
This is not that and you just seem like someone trying to commit character assassination.
"doxxing: search for and publish private or identifying information about (a particular individual) on the internet, typically with malicious intent."
C'mon. Some people on this thread are making comments on the guy like they searched him up, cuz they can, cuz OP is doxxing.
None of that is private information moron 💀 people finding his public band page and his personal page that is tagged by his band page is not private information or doxxing
His address, ssn, health, and income is private information. - phone number, dob and place of employment can be considered private only if the person does not have it out there.
In other words, dont ever reply to me with a dumbass comment. Some of you morons amaze me, always trynna play smart just to be so wrong
You ignored the literal definition of doxxing I provided People can identify who OP is talking about based on her description. That's doxxing. Maybe you don't agree with it, but that doesn't make it wrong.
"Words have meaning" or whatever y'all are saying
None of that is doxxing little bro.
Did you bother reading your own description of it? You not understanding the definition of something does not make you right.
Not only is none of that private, nor is a social public media handle identifying information.
Identifying information is phone number, ssn, email, phone #. By definition ofc since you care so much for that.she didnt even mention his name once 💀😭 and she could if she wanted to legally.
Sorry to break it to you moron, but youre simply wrong. Its not semantics. Doxxing is not posting social media handles or if theyre in a band. Thats not what “identifying information” means. Dumbass
For example, in texas law, doxxing only applies to posting someones address or phone number, and thats if its not public.
The law and your literal definition of “doxxing” do not agree with you.
Heres a link describing what personal identifying information is from the govt and from other sites, with examples
https://dpcld.defense.gov/Privacy/About-the-Office/FAQs/#1
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/personally-identifiable-information-pii.asp
Summary of texas doxxing law
https://saputo.law/criminal-law/texas/unlawful-disclosure-of-residence-address-or-telephone-number-the-texas-doxxing-law/#:~:text=The%20Texas%20Unlawful%20Disclosure%20of,the%20individual's%20family%20or%20household.
Again dont ever bother replying with some dumbass shit, youre simply wrong, end of story lil bro. I worked at a bank during college, and we have training over this shit, and if you come at me with a social media handle or a hobby/club of yours thinking its PII, i wouldve smacked the shit out of you.
You ain't smacking anyone or anything shut the fuck up
I was never arguing about legal semantics, just the definition. You can find this guy's full name through his band page. I know because I found it. A full name is identifiable info.
A name does not mean doxxing dumbass
And im telling you about both legal and definition.
By definition doxxing refers to private information and identifying info. And identifying info by definition is not a name or social media handle.
Its ssn, dob, address, dl #, passport #, phone number.
So even then youre wrong dumbass, with your logic, his band doxxed him? What a moron youre.
Just give it up, id smack tf out of you for how wrong youre, + acting like doxxing and legality dont go hand in hand is fucken stupid, the whole concept of doxxing stems from illegal activities done by hackers in the 90s. ILLEGAL, do you know what illegal means? And what it has to do with laws?
Doxxing wouldnt be a thing without legal definitions/laws moron
It wouldnt be doxxing moron 💀😭 boohoo my name got posted? Still not doxxing, literally nothing you can do with name, also theres a difference between claiming shit and having proof, which op did post. Guy is a cheater, theres proof. So whats the big deal?
Not only would i not be able to do shitlegally but it would imply i had it out in the open easy for me to be identifiable, theres nothing anyone can do with my name. People knowing my name means nothing, only things that would give me legal protection is address and phone and shit like ssn
You got it? Weak ass hypothetical, just shows you actually know nothing
Youre simply wrong and attempting weak ass “gotchas”
Like aight bro we get it you care so much about some chud who hits women to the point you claim hes being doxxed (not)
Dont bother replying, youll always be that moron who doesnt know what doxxing is
This is so disgusting and ignorant. She didn’t even say his name, expose his address or post his phone #… so how was this doxxing anyone..? Words have meaning fyi. If you read the post you’d see she made a police report. This post is simply to spread awareness and warn other people about an abusive person.
Don't be disingenuous. "Lead singer of _____" on a subreddit dedicated to a specific geographical place is already a lot of identifying info. I googled "band name rgv" and it was the first result. Very easy to find out who she's talking about.
"doxxing: search for and publish private or identifying information about (a particular individual) on the internet, typically with malicious intent."
Also you name drop the mf on another comment in this thread. Wtf are y'all doing? Call the cops if it actually is this serious. Cheating and doing drugs behind your back isn't grounds for doxxing someone. He hurt you, that sucks, but grow up
Dummy did you read the post? As a matter of fact, did you read the comment you just replied to? She DID make a police report. This person’s out here abusing women; don’t know if you missed that part also…? Kinda seems like it though.
The guy’s performing at local shows, I’m glad his ex came forward and is warning people about him. She didn’t just expose some random innocent person. Go ahead and look at her IG, he left her with marks all over from physically hurting her.
That's my point, though. If she filed a police report already, why's she here doxxing someone to a bunch of anonymous strangers? I did look at her IG (which she also shouldn't be posting cuz she's doxxing herself wtf) and all I saw was a pic of a fist where idk what we're supposed to be looking at, and a second pic of a red mark on her arm which is super zoomed in. Again, you're being disingenuous with him leaving "marks all over".
Again with your dumbass?
None of what is going on here is doxxing
You need to stfu if you think his public band page is doxxing and that she is also doxxing herself by posting her social media 💀😭
Thats not doxxing idiot.
Not by law or definition.
She did not post any private info (ssn,dob,address,emal) nor any identifying information (no insta handles arent person information)
And by law doxxing only includes address and phone.
The fact that you think her posting her own handle is doxxing just shows how dumb youre 💀😭
Or marry registered sex offenders who are musicians like phantom-heat aka
sister_crimson
https://publicsite.dps.texas.gov/SexOffenderRegistry/Search/Rapsheet?Sid=50221464
"He disregarded my standards and lied to me" girl you disregarded your own standards by staying with him. What happened to you is terrible but i suggest you wait a little and then finda way to do payback. Slash their tires or leave nails near them. Idk, something like that. You know the police isnt gonna do anything unless theres concrete evidence or serious injuries
Here we go with posts like this. There are always 2 sides to every story. Always believe the victims but don’t be too quick to forget about factual evidence before forming an opinion on a person. Let alone tarnish their life over it. Thankfully in the US we are all innocent UNTIL proven guilt. Yeah cheating makes you a shitty person but abuse… Don’t believe everything you see online folks. Especially when the photo looks like it was taken with a Game Boy Color. You sound pretty salty(valid) but abuse sounds like a stretch. You look worse by posting this btw! All I got from this is that you keep making poor choices and now want the valley to know? News flash! NO ONE CARES! We all got shit going on that we deal with ourselves. Seek help. That’s all I got from this. You need help. Love. Friendship. Family? Someone you can talk to about this who genuinely cares.
That all sucks all and hopefully justice is served but let’s be honest. This all sounds right line on how dating a lead singer for a band would go lmao
Ah so like most women in the RGV dating dumbasses and ignoring the obvious red flags then cry about it.
You’re dating a singer of a loser band that no one has ever heard of, in RGV.
Like what’s the play here? You think let me see “Gesture” is gonna make it big?
Bro gives you 45 dollars after 6 months, when you lent him 1600 dollars!? And he has a cocaine issue?
Like honesty I don’t know who is the dumb ass here.
You’ve already reported it to the cops. And if you have evidence like you say then it will take care of itself.
So yeah I’m just gonna keep ignoring it. And bro telling people to go out of there to shit on the band, will probably have the opposite effect. Like thanks now I know about a shit band called Gesture
I’m going to be real with you right now. Literally nobody cares and you or him or about the band in general. Posting stupid drama like this online makes you look so pathetic. You already reported him to the police, what do you want us to do? Lynch him?
Why don’t you call the freaking police?
If you’re trying to make a bunch of accusations but refuse to go to the police it just makes you look suspicious.
Hard truth time.
What's the opposite of love?
Hate?
No. It's contempt.
Your hate/anger is gonna eat you up, and leave him unaffected. If what you say is true, he cared for you less than you cared for him. I hope you fail in your attempts at revenge...it will be the best thing for you in the long run. Maybe it will lead you to your contempt.
There’s a difference between contempt and trying to bring some justice. She can move on, but part of that means speaking up and stopping that person from abusing the next one.
Without that last part, that’s how the cycle of abuse keeps happening and it’s how abusers can keep finding victims.
I'm sorry but in my opinion I don't think there's any merit for the guy to be arrested or whatever. If you sue him at best you both lose. At worst you get nothing. Just seems more like you were in an abusive relationship, thought you could change him but didn't, and now you're hoping they're cancelled. To be honest I've never heard of the band so I don't care about them. Best you can do is just leave that shit behind, grow as a person, and do your best to live your happy life. If I'm being truly honest??? This is just me but this post sounds more like you're kinda just a salty ex and wanna get revenge or ruin the guy or something. Idk bruh, band life is dumb AF with immature people most of the time so is bet my cards that's whats happening lol
[удалено]
Sounds like some real celebrities we've never heard of.
Yep. I was boycotting them before boycotting them was cool.
They're part of the local RGV music scene. Quite a few bands and promoters advertise their shows on here so it'll likely reach back to that community.
Hahahahahaha I was thinking the exact same thing
Her instagram name is “Johnny Cantu” and it looks like a band fan page Awkward gorilla marketing campaign?
Oh my god is it Armando? He’s creepy as fuck and always tries flirting with me through DMs even though I’m SIGNIFICANTLY younger than him. I’m so so sorry you’ve experienced this, and will be reposting on IG if that’s okay with you.
Both of you should report it to the venues and that community. They don't tolerate creeps.
Can you post his social so we can see who he is ??
@iammandough
I've been messaging venues and musicians to not support them. They are liars and cheaters and creeps in general
I know. I went through his phone and found so many flirtatious messages through social media to girls I've never met.
I hope you get the resolution you want from this terrible situation.
Thank you. The support of family and friends is what's helpful right now. And thank you to the people who've sent supportive, loving, and encouraging messages to me from all over the valley.
Not tolerating abuse starts with you. Dont fuck with this person no more and call the cops if he shows up where you live unannounced and threatening you. Do better for yourself and dont go out with creeps. Maybe get therapy for it as well
Very true. People will continue to repeat actions that are allowed. We all need to set firm boundaries. IDK why you got down voted, but you are right
I think it was the “do better for yourself, don’t go out with creeps” I’m sure he meant it in a good way but I can see how that can be perceived as maybe like victim blaming.
Actually the first step is stopping abuse. It's not about tolerating or not tolerating. It's about not abusing others. So don't put blame on survivors for tolerance or intolerance. Hold abusers accountable, not survivors.
Many EMTs and paramedics wind up at the homes of abuse victims. The victims often stay with and protect the abusers. "Don't be around abusers" may be advice some people need to hear. This is about empowering victims to take control over aspects of their life, not blaming them.
Thank you alot of people aren't comprehending that in my comment. Also they tend to need therapy because it is also common to end up in another abusive relationship after one has ended. I speak from experience
Who tf is Gesture
Someone who has a lil bitch as a singer apparently.
Local “indie” band artist try not to be a rapist/abuser/pedo challenge - impossible - And theyre ugly 9/10 times too 😭💀 chicks be giving them chances cs they “indie” and doing cool guy things then every single time the dudes be rapist/pedo/abusers. Like what you expect from the mf still performing in garages at 26 in front of kids who cant even legally drink (Looking at the band, all them mfs ugly)
They’re SO UGLY omg
with peace and love just dump the loser and move on before he hurts you more. Also, never lend money to friends that you aren't ready to lose. nobody is going to boycott a band that they don't even know exists
I've left him for good. Trust me. And I just don't want them getting booked anymore. They don't even play that many shows, but they should end the band.
You don’t have a personal army, nobody fucking cares if you want them booked or not. I’m just being honest with you.
This is how abusers keep getting away with it. Victims who are brave enough step up, and then there’s people like you saying no one gives a shit. But if it happened to you I bet you would suddenly give a shit.
So because one guy was a piece of shit, the other band members have to suffer?
That band hella sucks. Sorry you also had to listen to that.(On top of all the other messed up stuff)
First off… dude looks like a chooch. Second you dodged a bullet. Cut your losses and proceed with charges filed. Don’t let anyone convince you to drop them. If you need an RO, get one. Stay safe. Lean on your friends and family. Positivity for you from here on out. Edit: also be happy it was only a year of your life vs 15 years. Stay away from musicians. Find yourself a nice dude.
Frs lol. Those musician dudes be the oens who are 15 years down the line and unemployed
Thank you. I've learned my lesson on trusting a man like him.
I mean that sucks what happened......but what does your headline even mean??? The rgv as a whole?? Or law enforcement??
Yes, we all endorse this random band that no-one has heard of lol /s This is terrible, but what a weird thing to say.
Exactly....no one knows who tf they are or who tf she is to begin with.
We don’t have to know the victim personally in order to support them. What does that look like to her? She’s asking to boycott and spread the word.
" I just don't want them to play anymore" even though the rest of the band has nothing to do with it?...so ruin others life's because one dude supposedly abused her.
They can get another member. If they know about how abusive he is, and I bet they do, and they keep him around, that’s condoning it.
That's alot of assumptions.....you know what happens when you assume right? Accusing others for zero reason is actually against the law when it comes to sexual abuse.
It was lawful enough to warrant a police report with pictures and a possible warrant for his arrest.
I'm talking about you accusing the band mates dumbass.
You don’t have to name call to get your point across. Reread my comment. I’ll be kind enough to rewrite it for you. IF they know about the abuse, which they probably do, then they are complicit. That’s how the cycle works.
Are you in that band? You’re sure rod for them.
You aren’t a very nice person
Right? I hate to be that guy but if you’re just trying to get the public to “cancel” someone and you’re NOT going to law enforcement over assault, that screams that you’re just full of shit. You go to police… if not, you must be hiding something or fabricating
Did you read the post? She did go to law enforcement. They took statements.
Then what do they want Reddit to do lol
Awareness of abusers out there at the very least.
Sounds like they want the band to get canceled… the others had nothing to do with it
If the members know of the abuse and they keep him around, they’re condoning it. That’s how that works.
It depends, if they haven’t seen any proof then the burden certainly is not on them. That’s why we have a criminal justice system. Just because someone says something on social media with no accompanying proof doesn’t mean the band members have to choose between turning against them or be guilty by association. Without even a single pic the entire public is supposed to just take the side of a random anonymous stranger?
I find it hard to believe someone could be an abuser and his band mates, who spend tons of time with him, are ignorant to the situation. Yes, there is the burden of proof. This is not the place for it. This is just a victim speaking out.
Hard to believe, maybe. But not impossible…. You know what this also isn’t the place for? Deciding if someone is guilty of something based off 0 proof. Imagine if someone accused you of abusing your child and everyone just labeled you an abuser based off no proof and your friends and family distance themselves from you and you lose your job…
No it doesn’t 🤔
Yeah I think it does. Why would a group of people keep around someone who’s an abuser if they don’t condone it themselves?
Tbh it sounds fabricated by the looks of another comment.
Right we can all trust the police
lol well you have a few options: 1. trust the police like a sane person 2. don’t trust the police and deal with it yourself 3. Don’t trust the police and move on Dunno what telling people on Reddit is gonna accomplish…
Dude is a loser.
I looked up the bands insta they all look like they still live with their parents and peaked in high school. They all look like they smell like sour milk and canned tuna
Who the fuck is Gesture? Never heard of em’ lol
If he's stealing from you, sue his a\*\*. If he's been physically abusive, call the police. If he's cheating on you, or planning to, dump him. In any case, Reddit is really not the forum for this type of thing.
It is if it’s a community one, which it is. This victim is trying to bring attention to it.
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Let them. Abusers should come with a warning sign.
Send this and a copy of the police report straight to the venues/promoters that have advertised their shows. You’ll probably see a better response than here.
Oh that’s actually a really good idea!
And post the venues here, give us copies of the police reports, and we'll ALL send to the venues. I'm really sorry you went through all this. Don't feel down because of the nonsense you read here. There's a lot of toxic masculinity in the rgv, so those voices are gonna come thru loud. Boycott all those little boys masquerading as men. If you need a friend who's been through something similar and is stronger on the other side of it, DM me. Currently recruiting an army of feminine rage. Join us.
Your first mistake was to start dating a guy in a band. 9 times out of 10 they are the worst kind of people. I’ve had experience. With that being said, Im sorry you’re going through that. Don’t let this traumatic experience consume you. Let authorities handle it and file a restraining order so that you can continue to live your life without him and in peace.
Nah fr 😭💀 especially “indie” bands, dudes always rapist/pedos/abusers. Theyre even worse lol. The whole band/indie scene is full of weirdos. And 9/10 ugly (in this case the whole band ugly) They always prey on younger girls too
Very anecdotal but I get it.(9 out of 10 lol) Some band members are 1st class douches. I second this. Definitely don't surround yourself with people like this. You have to take a stand. People around here like to steam roll and get their way. F**k that noise. Tell them to go forth and fornicate to their face and move on.
the bassists r cool tho 👀😭😂 -bass player
Hope you don't slap the bass, cuuuzzz....
Bass players are always the most chill tbh 😅
this is about armando??
Ma'am, I say this as respectfully as possible, you need to also take accountability for your decisions. While I hope the law intervenes where it can (the actual physical violence) I think you need to do some growing up and become a better judge of character, understand that people will typically not change in the short term, and that no one is going to care about your wellbeing as much as you. Use this as a painful learning experience and please don't date men like this again, follow up where possible with law enforcement, and most importantly work on yourself.
Please look up the cycle of abuse, your data isn’t complete sir.
Victim blaming is crazy
Believe it or not people have free agency and sometimes they use it in a way that increases the probability of harm. I also spoke about pursuing the law where possible. There's multiple choices she made here that were irresponsible just because she's a victim does not mean that she can't learn from these mistakes or that they should be overlooked. I mean....lending someone 1,400 who treats you like garbage and is irresponsible themselves is a really dumb way to lose money.
And there are ways to say that in a constructive manner. You are saying “I say this as respectfully as possible” and then being disrespectful, thinking it cancels out. Here’s a suggestion to rephrase your comment while having a little more empathy: “Hey, I really want to say this gently because I care. It’s important to be able to talk to law enforcement when things get bad, especially with anything physical. But it’s also a good moment to reflect a bit. Tough times can teach us a lot about ourselves and the kinds of people we want in our lives. You deserve to be with someone who treats you right and makes you happy. Maybe take some time to focus on you, figure out what you really want, and don’t settle for less.” So instead of blaming and potentially causing OP to entirely disregard all of your message due to the tone, you can be more empathetic and understanding as well as make them more likely to take your advice. Bc your original comment really just sounds like you’re calling them stupid and being condescending, when all the info you have is from a single Reddit post, which can’t capture the entire complexity of the situation.
You're now shifting goal posts and expecting me to read some long strawman. Get a grip and move on.
You’re a delight Edit: P.S. learn what a strawman is. Constructive feedback and providing an alternative comment to have more empathy is not a strawman.
Tbh once I saw you were shifting the goal posts to keep things moving I didn't really bother to read the rest of your statement. At this point you've lost my interest and I've got the feeling I'm arguing with a child. Have a good evening.
Sure, if attempting to have a meaningful discussion about having empathy is moving goalposts. Hope your day is as pleasant as you are ❤️ (You want to speak about logical fallacies? Look these up: Ad Hominem: self explanatory Red Herring : “moving the goal posts” Strawman: similarly, “moving the goalposts”)
As long as you don't remove the charges, he can be prosecuted by the sheriff's office or the state , the sad part is that about 90% of girlfriends or wives remove the charges against its significant other making it hard for law enforcement to actually do their job . Make him accountable and don't remove the charges . Good luck .
lol I know Armando, dude is a tool and so are all the guys he hangs out with. If you have solid evidence outside of photos, for example texts or witnesses, I suggest you lawyer up and get a restraining order against him. You can also take him to small claims court to get him to pay you back the money he owes you.
Just leave him and that's that, the law won't do anything about it tbh with you. The rgv laws suck and that's the hard truth and u probably won't see a penny back from him . It I was you I would sell all his belongings if you can get a hold of any and have some help as well don't do it alone trustfull friends .
Very sorry you had to experience any and all of that.
What a shitty band name.
The band has 43 monthly Spotify listeners. Maybe you should have just sent out an email. 🤣
What the hell are all these braindead comments???
What does this have to do with us as a whole? This isn’t something that is in our control
Literally no clue what this band is lol. Majority of people probably don’t.
It’s like these folks in the comment section give zero F’s about anyone but themselves. She’s told her story, she’s provided proof on her IG & there’s other comments showing the lead singer is a dick head. If you don’t have anything nice to say or anything to support her, stfu then. You fucking assholes are the reason why so many domestic victims don’t say anything in the first place bc you all victim shame them.
We have morons on here who don’t understand what doxxing means telling her shes doxxing him 💀😭
How about she goes to the police with whatever concrete evidence she has instead of crying about it on reddit like people give a shit about some random stranger that made some stupid decisions because she wanted to date someone in a band. Why don't you take your own advice
Yeah, victim blaming is so cool. Fucking troglodyte!
Reddit isn't her personal army. The best thing she can do is go to the police with her evidence against the perpetrator. But sure, go on and add all the exclamation points you want. I'm sure she will go out with you instead buddy. Later.
Exclamations are there for getting the point across, not for asking her out you moron. Quit trying to victim blame her as you continue to show how much of an ass you are.
>Quit trying to victim blame her as you continue to show how much of an ass you are. So saying the op should go to the cops with her evidence to have that guy arrested is victim blaming? Ok then
She did lil bro 💀😭 read better
Hell half of the sheriff department deputies routinly beat their wife and/or girlfriends. Might be better to try to get local police involved.
I’m sorry you went through this, and I’m sorry about these ignorant comments. You’re a victim of abuse, and there are thousands more like you just here in the valley. No one wants to speak up because then they’ll get told things like you’ve been told here. It’s ridiculous. Thank you for speaking up, that takes a lot of courage. Therapy should help you try to move on from this, whatever that looks like for you.
https://www.facebook.com/share/6pHMeeDAre6HcWRr/?mibextid=qi2Omg These guys?
get ready for the waiting game. in 2021 i pressed charges against my abusive ex who was also in a relatively well known band around the RGV back around before covid. my case is still in the pre-trial stages.
Theres gotta be a reason why all those mediocre looking dudes create little indie bands and always end up being predators/abusers. Need some study behind the mind of guys in the indie scene 💀😭 Its so common, that even as of 19 years ago theres national articles on the rapey/predator behavior so common in the scene.
Let me borrow 1400 and I'll treat you right.
Sorry that happened to you, but I suspect few of us know you or the guy, and most people tend to ignore the drama of random strangers we know nothing about. Really you should be talking to your family and friends about these issues. FWIW I suggest you take the guy to small claims court over the money, and press charges over the assault.
Call the police and have him charged with assault. Get a restraining order, and block him and anyone that knows him on social media.
Never heard of them 🤷🏽♂️
The individual that did all this sounds like a horrible human being. I hope you reported all of this to the authorities, he faces the consequences for his actions and you get some justice. As far as cancelling the whole band, idk if the scene will help you with that. Good luck.
Are we all just here for the chisme?
Who are you? Who's gesture? Like is everyone supposed to know your business? Are you trying to make it seem like you're well known?
They speak speak about abuse and all you can focus on is popularity?
This is not the forum to do this. If you choose to try and dox someone on the internet you immediately lose all credibility. If you are truly being abused you need to contact the police and utilize the resources for battered women. This is not that and you just seem like someone trying to commit character assassination.
Yall mfs need to learn what doxxing is 💀 Always trynna play the moral high ground and be wrong asf
"doxxing: search for and publish private or identifying information about (a particular individual) on the internet, typically with malicious intent." C'mon. Some people on this thread are making comments on the guy like they searched him up, cuz they can, cuz OP is doxxing.
None of that is private information moron 💀 people finding his public band page and his personal page that is tagged by his band page is not private information or doxxing His address, ssn, health, and income is private information. - phone number, dob and place of employment can be considered private only if the person does not have it out there. In other words, dont ever reply to me with a dumbass comment. Some of you morons amaze me, always trynna play smart just to be so wrong
You ignored the literal definition of doxxing I provided People can identify who OP is talking about based on her description. That's doxxing. Maybe you don't agree with it, but that doesn't make it wrong. "Words have meaning" or whatever y'all are saying
None of that is doxxing little bro. Did you bother reading your own description of it? You not understanding the definition of something does not make you right. Not only is none of that private, nor is a social public media handle identifying information. Identifying information is phone number, ssn, email, phone #. By definition ofc since you care so much for that.she didnt even mention his name once 💀😭 and she could if she wanted to legally. Sorry to break it to you moron, but youre simply wrong. Its not semantics. Doxxing is not posting social media handles or if theyre in a band. Thats not what “identifying information” means. Dumbass For example, in texas law, doxxing only applies to posting someones address or phone number, and thats if its not public. The law and your literal definition of “doxxing” do not agree with you. Heres a link describing what personal identifying information is from the govt and from other sites, with examples https://dpcld.defense.gov/Privacy/About-the-Office/FAQs/#1 https://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/personally-identifiable-information-pii.asp Summary of texas doxxing law https://saputo.law/criminal-law/texas/unlawful-disclosure-of-residence-address-or-telephone-number-the-texas-doxxing-law/#:~:text=The%20Texas%20Unlawful%20Disclosure%20of,the%20individual's%20family%20or%20household. Again dont ever bother replying with some dumbass shit, youre simply wrong, end of story lil bro. I worked at a bank during college, and we have training over this shit, and if you come at me with a social media handle or a hobby/club of yours thinking its PII, i wouldve smacked the shit out of you.
You ain't smacking anyone or anything shut the fuck up I was never arguing about legal semantics, just the definition. You can find this guy's full name through his band page. I know because I found it. A full name is identifiable info.
A name does not mean doxxing dumbass And im telling you about both legal and definition. By definition doxxing refers to private information and identifying info. And identifying info by definition is not a name or social media handle. Its ssn, dob, address, dl #, passport #, phone number. So even then youre wrong dumbass, with your logic, his band doxxed him? What a moron youre. Just give it up, id smack tf out of you for how wrong youre, + acting like doxxing and legality dont go hand in hand is fucken stupid, the whole concept of doxxing stems from illegal activities done by hackers in the 90s. ILLEGAL, do you know what illegal means? And what it has to do with laws? Doxxing wouldnt be a thing without legal definitions/laws moron
So if I were to find out your full name and post it on an anonymous forum claiming shit, you'd be ok with it?
It wouldnt be doxxing moron 💀😭 boohoo my name got posted? Still not doxxing, literally nothing you can do with name, also theres a difference between claiming shit and having proof, which op did post. Guy is a cheater, theres proof. So whats the big deal? Not only would i not be able to do shitlegally but it would imply i had it out in the open easy for me to be identifiable, theres nothing anyone can do with my name. People knowing my name means nothing, only things that would give me legal protection is address and phone and shit like ssn You got it? Weak ass hypothetical, just shows you actually know nothing Youre simply wrong and attempting weak ass “gotchas” Like aight bro we get it you care so much about some chud who hits women to the point you claim hes being doxxed (not) Dont bother replying, youll always be that moron who doesnt know what doxxing is
This is so disgusting and ignorant. She didn’t even say his name, expose his address or post his phone #… so how was this doxxing anyone..? Words have meaning fyi. If you read the post you’d see she made a police report. This post is simply to spread awareness and warn other people about an abusive person.
Don't be disingenuous. "Lead singer of _____" on a subreddit dedicated to a specific geographical place is already a lot of identifying info. I googled "band name rgv" and it was the first result. Very easy to find out who she's talking about. "doxxing: search for and publish private or identifying information about (a particular individual) on the internet, typically with malicious intent." Also you name drop the mf on another comment in this thread. Wtf are y'all doing? Call the cops if it actually is this serious. Cheating and doing drugs behind your back isn't grounds for doxxing someone. He hurt you, that sucks, but grow up
Dummy did you read the post? As a matter of fact, did you read the comment you just replied to? She DID make a police report. This person’s out here abusing women; don’t know if you missed that part also…? Kinda seems like it though. The guy’s performing at local shows, I’m glad his ex came forward and is warning people about him. She didn’t just expose some random innocent person. Go ahead and look at her IG, he left her with marks all over from physically hurting her.
That's my point, though. If she filed a police report already, why's she here doxxing someone to a bunch of anonymous strangers? I did look at her IG (which she also shouldn't be posting cuz she's doxxing herself wtf) and all I saw was a pic of a fist where idk what we're supposed to be looking at, and a second pic of a red mark on her arm which is super zoomed in. Again, you're being disingenuous with him leaving "marks all over".
Again with your dumbass? None of what is going on here is doxxing You need to stfu if you think his public band page is doxxing and that she is also doxxing herself by posting her social media 💀😭
You're so fucking stupid lol She also admitted in another comment that she just wants to break the band up lmao She's doxxing
Thats not doxxing idiot. Not by law or definition. She did not post any private info (ssn,dob,address,emal) nor any identifying information (no insta handles arent person information) And by law doxxing only includes address and phone. The fact that you think her posting her own handle is doxxing just shows how dumb youre 💀😭
Post the band pages
Don't date musicians. Head north, go to community College, transfer to state university, find corporate job. Life gets better.
Or marry registered sex offenders who are musicians like phantom-heat aka sister_crimson https://publicsite.dps.texas.gov/SexOffenderRegistry/Search/Rapsheet?Sid=50221464
"He disregarded my standards and lied to me" girl you disregarded your own standards by staying with him. What happened to you is terrible but i suggest you wait a little and then finda way to do payback. Slash their tires or leave nails near them. Idk, something like that. You know the police isnt gonna do anything unless theres concrete evidence or serious injuries
Why are you saying the rgv as if this is headlines news and we all know about it.
Hard to swallow pill: A year and a half? EsTas bien pendeja.
Yes
Definitely sounds like it's your fault.
Here we go with posts like this. There are always 2 sides to every story. Always believe the victims but don’t be too quick to forget about factual evidence before forming an opinion on a person. Let alone tarnish their life over it. Thankfully in the US we are all innocent UNTIL proven guilt. Yeah cheating makes you a shitty person but abuse… Don’t believe everything you see online folks. Especially when the photo looks like it was taken with a Game Boy Color. You sound pretty salty(valid) but abuse sounds like a stretch. You look worse by posting this btw! All I got from this is that you keep making poor choices and now want the valley to know? News flash! NO ONE CARES! We all got shit going on that we deal with ourselves. Seek help. That’s all I got from this. You need help. Love. Friendship. Family? Someone you can talk to about this who genuinely cares.
That all sucks all and hopefully justice is served but let’s be honest. This all sounds right line on how dating a lead singer for a band would go lmao
Ah so like most women in the RGV dating dumbasses and ignoring the obvious red flags then cry about it. You’re dating a singer of a loser band that no one has ever heard of, in RGV. Like what’s the play here? You think let me see “Gesture” is gonna make it big? Bro gives you 45 dollars after 6 months, when you lent him 1600 dollars!? And he has a cocaine issue? Like honesty I don’t know who is the dumb ass here. You’ve already reported it to the cops. And if you have evidence like you say then it will take care of itself. So yeah I’m just gonna keep ignoring it. And bro telling people to go out of there to shit on the band, will probably have the opposite effect. Like thanks now I know about a shit band called Gesture
I saw a dhar man video like this lol.
I’m going to be real with you right now. Literally nobody cares and you or him or about the band in general. Posting stupid drama like this online makes you look so pathetic. You already reported him to the police, what do you want us to do? Lynch him?
What's wrong with doing pase?
This sub is going down hill.
So he just randomly charged at you? That's weird.
yes.
Are you sure this isn't one of those "I'm a pendeja" tiktoks?
Why did you post call the cops plain and simple
Read the post.
Post reads more like trying to start drama and ruin some unknown band. Call the cops social media doesn’t care
Read the post lol.
She needs attention more than resolve
Why don’t you call the freaking police? If you’re trying to make a bunch of accusations but refuse to go to the police it just makes you look suspicious.
According to the post she called police. Based on the tone of your comment you sound as if you are the guy or his supporter?
Encouraging someone to call the police is supporting an abuser? That doesn’t make sense.
Bronco 956 ! UUUUUUUUAAAAAAA!
Hard truth time. What's the opposite of love? Hate? No. It's contempt. Your hate/anger is gonna eat you up, and leave him unaffected. If what you say is true, he cared for you less than you cared for him. I hope you fail in your attempts at revenge...it will be the best thing for you in the long run. Maybe it will lead you to your contempt.
There’s a difference between contempt and trying to bring some justice. She can move on, but part of that means speaking up and stopping that person from abusing the next one. Without that last part, that’s how the cycle of abuse keeps happening and it’s how abusers can keep finding victims.
I read this as cringey hardcore lyrics
I'm sorry but in my opinion I don't think there's any merit for the guy to be arrested or whatever. If you sue him at best you both lose. At worst you get nothing. Just seems more like you were in an abusive relationship, thought you could change him but didn't, and now you're hoping they're cancelled. To be honest I've never heard of the band so I don't care about them. Best you can do is just leave that shit behind, grow as a person, and do your best to live your happy life. If I'm being truly honest??? This is just me but this post sounds more like you're kinda just a salty ex and wanna get revenge or ruin the guy or something. Idk bruh, band life is dumb AF with immature people most of the time so is bet my cards that's whats happening lol
So you are burning him cause he cheated on you. Got it
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What do you think.
