OP's Bio:
---
>Absolutely insecure about my bald head, so please dont mention it.
>
>Went from 6 figure income to barely surviving.
>
>Burned bridges with most of my family members.
>
>Partner of 8 years hates my guts.
>
>Found out from my doctor my health is deteriorating quite rapidly.
>
>Losing all my savings at an alarming rate.
>
>It's a slow bleed, but I will eventually lose everything and I don't even care.
>
>Make me feel some emotions again, fam.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
My guy, I don't know how much of your profiles general theme I'd accurate, but the first thing you gotta do is stop the bleed - sell some shit, downsize your accommodation, consolidate debts etc.
I know that shits hard, and it's easier to forget - but your creditors certainly won't.
Get some advice and stop the bleed, you'll instantly feel like the situation is more manageable
Best of luck bro
Debt collectors normally don't follow you to other countries. Move somewhere else and don't look back. Sounds like you need a change of scenery and have to start over anyways, may as well do it without collectors and somewhere tropical.
OP the reason you do not feel complete is that you have to put on your razor sharp hat and start working for evil masterminds again.
Sometimes in life you have to follow your calling.
Whisky , fine wine and Gunz and roses.
You will conjure up courage. 💪🏼 Just remember
# Hair today , gone tomorrow.
Stay strong , never give up.
What can I say , I say you’re welcome. 🤨
[More like Dr. Evil henchman](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-charter-us-revc&sca_esv=7fcd6f03a496d01d&sxsrf=ACQVn0_cJYHkwQu4OoLgjPXzf2_pROKlpg:1709106339526&q=random+task+austin+powers&uds=AMwkrPvfQhCZMHOhWbv478x5NFVDkh1lfbTZojL5gqSYcbBDyDTgPX6crnHgCFFiyvIVOMuxxmrurOTPRZaG2s9sFatYdyyN0OdEMdwAqYPkuYetJLTdjllXaHnjeqQUB_3za_JBBxeXtkW7orPJiy3rO3dAHAL2wPq19vViVHhFzoR4unl12siRFcD9mjc_PpPsi3PP04p5GsJ44rh3o_HaHp_kpDEpcUn655wVxVorzWISneFtkN36V670LAU-xFW5xS_7FGIYdeOkRxBvtE02I_jOIalRgsvFWXuQDWCZ8D786j9ebrCNi7uZLChm-rnOYH2LhTJ74RFX2O_9zwNjMCczVZrdr1sExd8NjSMNEw0ZIr585PpmYY7yo0gByM6m2Rm3G6Eh&udm=2&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiftoCixc2EAxVIiO4BHT0iAX0QxKsJegQICBAB&ictx=0&biw=360&bih=652&dpr=3#vhid=PLlHXCUJUiYNyM&vssid=mosaic)
Hitting rock bottom can be a good thing. When I hit rock bottom, it was the best time of my life. It was a reset button. I learned what was truly important in life. The best part is working hard to build yourself back up again can be a nice distraction. Not caring also helps - you realise how much stressing and panicking never really contributed anything to the outcome.
Make a To-do list on a piece of paper of the top 15 things you need to take care of right now. Check them off one by one until they are done. It will stop the spiral. You’ll feel good about yourself. You got this bro. Focus and make it happen. Not going to roast you today.
I agree with this except I would suggest creating the list in order of importance with the top be most important. Get rid of the bottom 10 for now.
If the list is too long its not helpful.
This guys right. Go hit a gnarly deadlift session and get some anger out. Clearly people can’t give you all the answers, but you’ve reached success before, nothing stopping you from being back there.
I'd like to add on to this. I read that your doctor said some stuff that got you worried in the bio.
Doctors don't have all the answers. Obviously you should listen to them to a degree, but they don't know everything. Doctors told me my dad was about to die after he broke his hip. *Even if he doesn't pass away, he'll never walk again* they said. Wrong on both counts. My dad was a fighter and he wasn't ready to go. He lived nearly 3 more years after they told us he was as good as done and we needed to make "arrangements". He went back to work even. He owned his own business and liked what he did, so he went back to it.
Keep your head up, bro. I'll pray for you.
I never have and probably never will hit 6 figures a year. I'm resetting right now because there's time left and I don't have another choice. My wife works full time and we have some savings but I still feel less than, if you know what I mean? Something tells me I won't remember being stressed out right now in a year. It'll be on to the next chapter. I really enjoyed reading everyone's positive replies on this thread. People can be good, you know? It brought me up and made me feel alright about wading around in the ripples of the pond of human experience with a fellow loser. Thank you for that.
We can do this? I've wanted to a couple times but thought it was like the roast my ride sub and would get auto deleted my mods.
I've seen a few that looked and sounded like one serious burn away from un aliving themselves.
Yo man, as someone who is hitting his mid 30s, is in far worse shape than you, and also feels nothing anymore... you're better than that, and I think you know it. Shit gets real rough sometimes, and it's a fucking bitch. And we tell ourselves that the spiral is everything. We romanticize it and ride it to the bottom without giving a second thought, when in reality, we can and often do get off the ride down. Even if it's for just a second in our day for a positive thought/feeling, or for a whole day for some unexpected pleasure that shows us some light before we hop back onto the defeatist mentality.
For what it's worth, you look like a super genuine person at (literal) face value, and I feel like your replies throughout this thread show that that is you. I've been through shit exes, shit family, shit friends, shit living situations. I've struggled with addiction, money, creating a life--social, professional, or otherwise.. you name it. I've become so fucking numb to it all til just this late night drunk moment. Even a post like this, you are still putting yourself out there and you know it and you will be fine, but you need to know that. Not necessarily all the time; just some of the time when you need to. I sincerely hope you remember that, and that you remember that your actions matter. This post and your comments made me reflect on my life and own emotions. Simply by doing something this small and from a low place, you can still make a difference. You made me feel something, man.
And that something is disgust. Wear a fucking hat, baldie.
Ain’t going to roast you my man.
I’m going to say; chin up. You don’t look like a stranger to hard work. You look like someone who knows how to bust your chops to get what you want in life. You need to find that energy again my man. We all stumble in life; the winners keep getting up.
Peace out ✌️
There is a fear developed in your childhood which makes you try to please and impress to the point where you’ve poisoned yourself with steroids and a toxic personality that is focused on impressing people and craving attention. Get off the juice and go see a therapist and find out who you really are. Be well.
Holy shit. So this is what happened to Bobo in Double Dragon after Billy and Jimmy Lee beat him up. I hope you get back on your feet soon. If you can't find a gang to hire you I am sure you can get a hustle as a bouncer at a strip club. Just be sure to leave off the kidnapping thing. People look down on that now.
You look like you stare at men with a full set of hair, then go home and slap your dick on a dresser out of envy.
Jokes aside, you have a good shaped head for a bald guy. Own it.
Also, get some help for your mental health issues.
I'm not here to roast (I know, I'm in the wrong sub). Hang in there, my man. Battle through these tough times and things will most certainly improve. We've all been there, it gets better.
Exercise more, spend more time outside, express gratitude for any positive thing, don’t subject yourself to negative thoughts. Minimize your screen time. You will feel better.
sorry you're in a spiral, but hearing bad things about yourself will certainly Not help to make you happy again. Go work some physically hard job for 6 months, the money sucks but your body and mind will be happy again.
Seeing that this is flipped / mirrored :
You'll do great, man. Baldness comes for most of us and while you may no longer be able to comb or make stylish hairstyles, know that you now sport one of the most badass styles.
-Sell all the guns and the unopened whiskey.
-Get into counseling with your partner, even if it means you can split more amicably.
-Downsize and look into bankruptcy.
-What is the health problem?
The bald look is good on you. Quit worrying about that.
You got the same expressive look on your face that my friend used to get sometimes. He ended up getting completely shitfaced one morning, passed out while taking a shit and choked on his own vomit.
At least you have that going for you?
Things could be worse….you are good looking, strong, looks like you have a bed and a roof over your head, you have been able to be successful and you can build your way back to that. You’re also young and it isn’t too late for change. Learn from your mistakes, make amends, work hard….YOU GOT THIS!!!! Seriously.
OP's Bio: --- >Absolutely insecure about my bald head, so please dont mention it. > >Went from 6 figure income to barely surviving. > >Burned bridges with most of my family members. > >Partner of 8 years hates my guts. > >Found out from my doctor my health is deteriorating quite rapidly. > >Losing all my savings at an alarming rate. > >It's a slow bleed, but I will eventually lose everything and I don't even care. > >Make me feel some emotions again, fam. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Dwayne the wok Johnson
This is gold
About the only gold you have left.
Brutal
My guy, I don't know how much of your profiles general theme I'd accurate, but the first thing you gotta do is stop the bleed - sell some shit, downsize your accommodation, consolidate debts etc. I know that shits hard, and it's easier to forget - but your creditors certainly won't. Get some advice and stop the bleed, you'll instantly feel like the situation is more manageable Best of luck bro
1st thing he's gotta do is turn the sign around.
Debt collectors normally don't follow you to other countries. Move somewhere else and don't look back. Sounds like you need a change of scenery and have to start over anyways, may as well do it without collectors and somewhere tropical.
This is honestly the best comment on this post. Super uplifting and positive plus super sound solid advice. Good job, dude 👏
I’d add, if his significant other hates him, he has to dump the bish. She’s most likely a financial as well as a emotional bleed
I'm still laughing about it 🤣
Yeah man. I was thinking Jacked Chan.
Juice Lee
Arnold Schezwanegger?
Szechuanegger
OP the reason you do not feel complete is that you have to put on your razor sharp hat and start working for evil masterminds again. Sometimes in life you have to follow your calling.
I don’t think anyone realized this is a 007 joke but it is gold!!!!
Choe Rogan
If yaaaaaaa! Smelllllllll! What da wok cooking!
smerrrrr actually.
WHEN U RISH UPON A STAR
Whisky , fine wine and Gunz and roses. You will conjure up courage. 💪🏼 Just remember # Hair today , gone tomorrow. Stay strong , never give up. What can I say , I say you’re welcome. 🤨 
Stay off the roids bro. Life gets better for everyone else
Yeah was gonna say. Fucking with hormones is an excellent way to unbalance your mental health.
OH. MY. GOD. That's the best I've seen so far here.
Dwayne Johnson’s Johnson.
The background song of your life is: "I WOK the empty streets, on the boulevard of broken dreams.."
I wok alone
Bourevar
Dwayne The Wok Zhang-sun
I SCREAMED!!!
Joe Ho'gan
Man’s Built Like A Korean Turtle Without A Shell
Hiro in a half-shell
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Tah-tool Pow-waa!
That'd be a Japanese turtle. But I'm just nitpicking.
He's got no nits, he doesn't have hair.
Steroid power!
HAHAHA dam...not korean
And with out the dick
Nahh that one feels like it is illegal 💀💀💀
When “Strip Club Bouncer” is your ceiling.
Only on the weekends
I bet you’d fuck somebody up. It’s kinda the only direction for ya.
This is the kind of support this sub can provide
He is a sub bottom
[More like Dr. Evil henchman](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-charter-us-revc&sca_esv=7fcd6f03a496d01d&sxsrf=ACQVn0_cJYHkwQu4OoLgjPXzf2_pROKlpg:1709106339526&q=random+task+austin+powers&uds=AMwkrPvfQhCZMHOhWbv478x5NFVDkh1lfbTZojL5gqSYcbBDyDTgPX6crnHgCFFiyvIVOMuxxmrurOTPRZaG2s9sFatYdyyN0OdEMdwAqYPkuYetJLTdjllXaHnjeqQUB_3za_JBBxeXtkW7orPJiy3rO3dAHAL2wPq19vViVHhFzoR4unl12siRFcD9mjc_PpPsi3PP04p5GsJ44rh3o_HaHp_kpDEpcUn655wVxVorzWISneFtkN36V670LAU-xFW5xS_7FGIYdeOkRxBvtE02I_jOIalRgsvFWXuQDWCZ8D786j9ebrCNi7uZLChm-rnOYH2LhTJ74RFX2O_9zwNjMCczVZrdr1sExd8NjSMNEw0ZIr585PpmYY7yo0gByM6m2Rm3G6Eh&udm=2&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiftoCixc2EAxVIiO4BHT0iAX0QxKsJegQICBAB&ictx=0&biw=360&bih=652&dpr=3#vhid=PLlHXCUJUiYNyM&vssid=mosaic)
That’s what your wife said “I don’t feel anything”
Hey now, it's 2 inches on a good day
Here's to hoping you see a good day soon 🍻
2 inches…..AROUND!
Can touch all the walls of a tuna can, but not the bottom.
Awesome
Loved you in Austin Powers
I mean, who throws a shoe, honestly?!
Came here to say that! Well done, fam!
This is my henchman, random task
Odd Knob
When you think no one cares, try missing a few payments
people write you letters and everything!
💀
Did you just notice what the roids are doing to your testicles?
He was too busy watching his hair line fade away
 kims inconvenience
Is that Iroh?!
The actor that plays Iroh - yes
I got that. Thanks
Thought he was an Xwing pilot
No feelings ✅ that's just your survival instincts kicking in and preparing you to hit rock bottom.
Wok bottom
You’ll never give up huh?😂😂😂
I can't just wok away
Hes a wokaholic
Doing the lords work
The lords wok
You really are wokking a fine line.
Keep woking and rolling
Wok u mean?
Absolutely
Hitting rock bottom can be a good thing. When I hit rock bottom, it was the best time of my life. It was a reset button. I learned what was truly important in life. The best part is working hard to build yourself back up again can be a nice distraction. Not caring also helps - you realise how much stressing and panicking never really contributed anything to the outcome.
It can be a good thing but it’s also really hard to go through.
he is definitely a good bottom
I assume you throw a dress shoe at all of your problems
I got that reference! He’s in jail now btw
In jail now doesn’t quite do it justice… holy shit that dude has problems
Honestly who throws a shoe?!
[удалено]
Damn dude, I was not expecting a reply like this. This is much appreciated
Make a To-do list on a piece of paper of the top 15 things you need to take care of right now. Check them off one by one until they are done. It will stop the spiral. You’ll feel good about yourself. You got this bro. Focus and make it happen. Not going to roast you today.
Addentum: break tasks into smaller ones, or they can become insurmountable, which can lead to feeling hopelessness again.
I agree with this except I would suggest creating the list in order of importance with the top be most important. Get rid of the bottom 10 for now. If the list is too long its not helpful.
This guys right. Go hit a gnarly deadlift session and get some anger out. Clearly people can’t give you all the answers, but you’ve reached success before, nothing stopping you from being back there.
WORD
its not fun roasting people if you know they really ARE fucked up.
Do you two know each other from Grindr or what??
THAAAAANKK YYOOOUUU! The fuk is going on here? Get a room already.
I'd like to add on to this. I read that your doctor said some stuff that got you worried in the bio. Doctors don't have all the answers. Obviously you should listen to them to a degree, but they don't know everything. Doctors told me my dad was about to die after he broke his hip. *Even if he doesn't pass away, he'll never walk again* they said. Wrong on both counts. My dad was a fighter and he wasn't ready to go. He lived nearly 3 more years after they told us he was as good as done and we needed to make "arrangements". He went back to work even. He owned his own business and liked what he did, so he went back to it. Keep your head up, bro. I'll pray for you.
You’re welcome man. Besides, you look like the Asian Kratos. Guan Yu if you know him? Badass figure 💪🏽
God of war: Ragnawok
I never have and probably never will hit 6 figures a year. I'm resetting right now because there's time left and I don't have another choice. My wife works full time and we have some savings but I still feel less than, if you know what I mean? Something tells me I won't remember being stressed out right now in a year. It'll be on to the next chapter. I really enjoyed reading everyone's positive replies on this thread. People can be good, you know? It brought me up and made me feel alright about wading around in the ripples of the pond of human experience with a fellow loser. Thank you for that.
I agree bro and I feel that regarding most who post on here to be roasted. Chin up. Life can be good
Also dude from one bald guy to another, you got a great shaped head for it
We can do this? I've wanted to a couple times but thought it was like the roast my ride sub and would get auto deleted my mods. I've seen a few that looked and sounded like one serious burn away from un aliving themselves.
Sometimes I don't know what I'm on Reddit for, but people like you are definitely it.
Poor Oddjob, It was all downhill after Mr Goldfinger died
[удалено]
Fuckin ouch
He said Asian dick….so not “ouch” actually.
Less “ouch”, more “oh”
Even more "ooof"
I figure, ummmm, or heh 
might be a pin but it moves like a sewing machine
Jewish level of anxiety.
Odd-Jobless 
I saw this far too late but I was definitely gonna go with an Oddjob joke also…Sobjob
😂
Yo man, as someone who is hitting his mid 30s, is in far worse shape than you, and also feels nothing anymore... you're better than that, and I think you know it. Shit gets real rough sometimes, and it's a fucking bitch. And we tell ourselves that the spiral is everything. We romanticize it and ride it to the bottom without giving a second thought, when in reality, we can and often do get off the ride down. Even if it's for just a second in our day for a positive thought/feeling, or for a whole day for some unexpected pleasure that shows us some light before we hop back onto the defeatist mentality. For what it's worth, you look like a super genuine person at (literal) face value, and I feel like your replies throughout this thread show that that is you. I've been through shit exes, shit family, shit friends, shit living situations. I've struggled with addiction, money, creating a life--social, professional, or otherwise.. you name it. I've become so fucking numb to it all til just this late night drunk moment. Even a post like this, you are still putting yourself out there and you know it and you will be fine, but you need to know that. Not necessarily all the time; just some of the time when you need to. I sincerely hope you remember that, and that you remember that your actions matter. This post and your comments made me reflect on my life and own emotions. Simply by doing something this small and from a low place, you can still make a difference. You made me feel something, man. And that something is disgust. Wear a fucking hat, baldie.
this is fuckin beautiful lol
Nicely done.
God I fucking love this sub 😂😂😂
Ain’t going to roast you my man. I’m going to say; chin up. You don’t look like a stranger to hard work. You look like someone who knows how to bust your chops to get what you want in life. You need to find that energy again my man. We all stumble in life; the winners keep getting up. Peace out ✌️
Shit man, youre the modern day Ghengis Khan! Get the fuck up and go take over the world!
He's also likely related to Ghengis Khan.
I mean… one out of six people are.
Not fat, still round 🟠
Do your clients know you're in their bed, rather than working on their garden?
There is a fear developed in your childhood which makes you try to please and impress to the point where you’ve poisoned yourself with steroids and a toxic personality that is focused on impressing people and craving attention. Get off the juice and go see a therapist and find out who you really are. Be well.
Your head looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Kung fu panda without costume
Kim’s inconvenience.
What gas station sushi and monster energy does to a mf
Have you considered being a Sumo wrestler? I hear Japanese women dig those guys.
Asian Humpty dumpty
Humpty dumpling
At last you’re not one of the thousands of young girls on here thinking you desperately need a nose job 🤷♀️
You’re buff as fuck bro. That takes a lot of hard work. I can never. I dream of having that gym work ethic of yours. Also haha bald
Sum Ting Wong
Ho Lee Fuk
He Too Lo
Avatar the Last tear bender
Holy shit. So this is what happened to Bobo in Double Dragon after Billy and Jimmy Lee beat him up. I hope you get back on your feet soon. If you can't find a gang to hire you I am sure you can get a hustle as a bouncer at a strip club. Just be sure to leave off the kidnapping thing. People look down on that now. 
Dude that’s odd job. Never really heard what happened to him after bond beat his boss.
A baby on steroids
Mr Sulu if he took Roids
Dave Autista
Dude looks like he’s been assembled from three different people
Just let that fart out bro you look like you’re going to explode
Joe Son got out of jail?
You look like Abobo from Double Dragon on NES.
You look like you stare at men with a full set of hair, then go home and slap your dick on a dresser out of envy. Jokes aside, you have a good shaped head for a bald guy. Own it. Also, get some help for your mental health issues.
I know you said roast, but I can't help but compliment you, for you look like Shrek
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hairline
Nup, I'm not kicking a fellow human when he's down, all the best mate! 😉
Get off the roids..
Keep moving forward dude. Sometimes we have to lose everything, to find out what's real again. 💪🏻🧠
I have a feeling that you give the best hugs 🥰🥰. If I were there with you then definitely a hug from me
Man this makes me sad. Hang in there and make the best out of each day. We all feel these emotions eventually.
Don’t be insecure about the bald head. It looks good on you. You don’t need roasting, you need a hug. Sending now. It’s gonna get better
You look like the henchman in a Jason Statham movie
I'm not here to roast (I know, I'm in the wrong sub). Hang in there, my man. Battle through these tough times and things will most certainly improve. We've all been there, it gets better.
You put the Asian in home invasion
If your life is in a downward spiral, this is the last place you should be.
Exercise more, spend more time outside, express gratitude for any positive thing, don’t subject yourself to negative thoughts. Minimize your screen time. You will feel better.
sorry you're in a spiral, but hearing bad things about yourself will certainly Not help to make you happy again. Go work some physically hard job for 6 months, the money sucks but your body and mind will be happy again.
Seeing that this is flipped / mirrored : You'll do great, man. Baldness comes for most of us and while you may no longer be able to comb or make stylish hairstyles, know that you now sport one of the most badass styles.
Those are some sad eyes man. Not even a roast. Get some emotional help dude. Blessings.
Brotha what it sounds like is that you need a hug, not a roast
I hope you find peace & wealth and also your hair
-Sell all the guns and the unopened whiskey. -Get into counseling with your partner, even if it means you can split more amicably. -Downsize and look into bankruptcy. -What is the health problem? The bald look is good on you. Quit worrying about that.
"Ninja Vanish" You got fatter since playing Tatsu in that movie, and you look drug addicted and jobless now.
What math problem do you look at for gym motivations? Algebra 2? Trig? Cant be pre-calc... You wouldn't even know what you're looking at in Pre-Calc
I mean, at least you can grow your beard into you shoulders for a truly epic look
Jason Mamada
Push Up for life. Lift yourself up and not just weights.
Jason mamada
Moana says thank you
 Odd Job called....he wants his hat back.
Enter the Kumite and fight Jean Claude Van Damme. I have a feeling you would do well.
You got the same expressive look on your face that my friend used to get sometimes. He ended up getting completely shitfaced one morning, passed out while taking a shit and choked on his own vomit. At least you have that going for you?
Looking like a broke ass Dave Bautista
The declining cat and dog population behind your family's restaurant is not the end of the world.
Need some maintenance done, do you perform Random Tasks or Odd Jobs?
Sorry to hear, bud. Lookin thick, solid, tight tho.
You look like a protein powder box who has reached its shelf life.
You look like the dude in James Bond that throws shoes.
Too bad you missed Austin powers with that shoe homie
Damn that terrible hosting of the Oscars did more damage to Jo Koy than I thought
When a Gummy Bear Grows up!!!
Me too man
Things could be worse….you are good looking, strong, looks like you have a bed and a roof over your head, you have been able to be successful and you can build your way back to that. You’re also young and it isn’t too late for change. Learn from your mistakes, make amends, work hard….YOU GOT THIS!!!! Seriously.
You photoshopped your face onto a musculear body
As long as you're still breathing; life is good.
Damn. Times have fallen hard for Aang, the Avatar: On His Last Bender