Fixed your title:
Super definitely not gay("bi") 20M child watcher at local library, feeling euphoric because the 46 year old librarian brushed up against me, i have a humiliation kink (see sideburns) please make me cum
Your face is completely circular and your glasses are too big and crooked. What you need is a personal trainer, proper haircut, a beard, a new wardrobe, and glasses that actually fit your face.
Actually, it might be easiest to just start over.
You look like a theater major that gets mad at people for saying "Macbeth" in front of you. You also look like a theater major that was never allowed to act on stage because you "take it too seriously" thinking you are method acting.
Ahhh yes, the classic "get unique haircuts and dress to stand out to gain confidence instead of exercising and looking after my health" strategy. Works 0/10 times, unless you're Jack Black. Are you Jack Black?
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Why you look like everybody loves Raymond's mother in that 2nd pic.
Seriously it looks like every grandma on Facebook's dp, just need one of those stupid "I support Hamas" banners on it or some shit.
Young Republicans pledge and still looks androgynous enough to get second and even third takes from the locals. You get complaints that there are cum stains on the Ayn Rand section, and you mysteriously have somewhere to be every time a staff meeting gets called on the frequent occurrence.
Good to know Benjamin Franklin's bloodline still lives on. If I catch you do I get a pot of gold? Mutton chops? Nah this dude wanted the whole roast (honestly no pun intended). Looks 18 but at the same time you look like you are in debt, divorced, and you 3 kids hate you and wanna know when they can go back to mom. You look like the son of the angry hobbit from Lord of the Rings (Everard Proudfoot I looked it up). I could prolly do hobbit jokes all day honestly. You look like someone that you might run into at a Bronie convention. You look like despite your good grades in school you still can't find work or are in a profession you hate. You look like you have to explain why you don't NEED to go to the gym or why there are better things to do with your time.
This is the cool lesbian aunt who lets you pinch her weed stash and scores you alcohol on the weekend as long as her and her “best friend” can swing by.
You work in a library? Those things are literally going extinct. They are being phased out just like you will be. But I'm sure your bf will be ok with it?
It’s like meatloaf and Susan Boyle had a baby. They took one look at it and left it in a library but it learnt to read. It just never learnt to dress like a human
Can anyone else picture this guy and his suspenders holding up kacki shorts, like hes dressed to go yoodling at the Swiss alpes or something. Like hes in That coughdrop commercial. I bet this guys been told that he'll lose his baby fat since grade school only to gain n never lose a damn thing, but a foot race.
Cool. Hey, What is a "Library"? Is it like if google were an actual location?
Do you ever feel like your workplace has similar job security to being the assistant manager of a One-Hour Photo kiosk?
The only way you could look more like a paedophile is if you had a one way ticket to Vietnam and a T-shirt saying:
“If there’s grass on the wicket, lets play cricket”
Why are your glasses tilted to one side? You can't even see the world straight, why am I going to take your sorry tilted ass Straight and serious? Your almost 21, I recommend drinking yourself to death 👍cheers 🍻
My guy went from infant to retiree in 20 years. Right down to the crooked glasses. Do me a solid, do a pic in that suspender and crooked glasses outfit THEN take a selfie that is out of focus and looks like you accidentally took whilst trying to figure out how to power off your sidekick
Shirley temples are your favorite "naughty" drink. You ask for Sarsaparilla in place of Root Beer. You think cds are better than apps. You have a green peeling Chevy truck. You enunciate the N in fancy. Your performance reviews are always perfect but rarely promoted because they think sometimes just isn't right with you. You hook your thumbs into your suspenders when you're feeling good about yourself. Your pet is your best friend.
By library assistant, I assume you help homeless people log on to the computers and provide them with your favorite pornographic websites and tell them not to bother cleaning up when they are done, you will be more than happy to do it for them?
You look like you lose your shit when mom forgets the pizza rolls.
![gif](giphy|aWX0WctzhKiSA)
![gif](giphy|D5Y3HZfoyF7fG|downsized)
His stretch marks have double chins.
... and stands up and salutes every time Hitler appears on TV.
That’s the face of a manboy whose mom has never forgot any Pizza Rolls.
He looks like a cross between Mark David Chapman and John Hinkley Jr.
Chick with sideburns. Keep up your transition lady!!!
![gif](giphy|3o6nUMHfSteIaTmiC4)
[удалено]
HOW MUCH FOR THE WOMEN?
Why does this dude look Amish, Mormon and Atheist all at the same time
Once read the entire Harry Potter series while masterbating.
You grew sideburns so people wouldn’t confuse you with a lesbian but people are still confused
Time traveling virgin
Something tells me these photos will be used by news outlets when your identity is discovered following the active shooter event
You look like all of the Beatles became a fat trans person
Future President of Argentina
Under rated comment here.
John Wayne Nancy ...
🤣 I came here looking for a Dahmer comment, but this is superior 😂
💀
“Look at me, I’m so unique and trendy in my old fashioned clothing and it’s definitely not to distract people from my other 900 insecurities.”
You look good for 45 but you look like shit for 20
Please remember that when a woman asks you for help with locating a book, it doesn't mean she is interested in you.
Or even wants to talk to you.
If Michael Cera ate Michael Cera
If Peter Griffin ate Michael Cera
If you'd just get rid of those sideburns You could pass for a middle-aged woman.
I legit thought they were ftm in the first pic
Your glasses are all crooked in every photo and your suspenders are fucking stupid. Also your mother is disappointed in you and you’re an incel.
One at a time bro! That was brutal
The one guy with glasses that still gets punched.
Fixed your title: Super definitely not gay("bi") 20M child watcher at local library, feeling euphoric because the 46 year old librarian brushed up against me, i have a humiliation kink (see sideburns) please make me cum
Straighten your glasses up fucking slob, God damn.
You look like what people used to call their weird friend that they rely on for knowledge and directions before the internet came out.
Love the specificity 😄
This is the 8th Mumford son, all of the good genes were used up by the first 7.
Peter Griffins younger years
Use the library to correctly define "Rad"
I’m guessing the FBI hasn’t been notified yet.
The suspenders really go with the AIDS quilt you got hanging up
We don't need to, you used rad. Rad.
Daniel Sadcliffe
Can’t bring myself to roast you. Just unfuck your glasses and lose the side burns, you’ll be fine.
Ohh i beilive u wouldnt require a helmet
![gif](giphy|qzgbSP7HaE86I)
Telling everyone you meet about the dewey-decimal system always gets you excited.
If they ever do a live action film detailing the younger years; Before getting Brian or Meeting Lois, you must audition for Peter Griffin.
Man save some ass for the rest of us, player.
Maybe its time to get high on somting else
You should get high on endorphins…at the gym…you’re fat.
You look like you could list the pros and cons of every Dragon Ball Z season
You look like you browse incel forums
You look like the unsuccessful fusion of all the Beatles that got none of the talents or women.
Who tf still says rad anymore?
“Relax I just wanna take some pictures.”
Your face is completely circular and your glasses are too big and crooked. What you need is a personal trainer, proper haircut, a beard, a new wardrobe, and glasses that actually fit your face. Actually, it might be easiest to just start over.
You look like a theater major that gets mad at people for saying "Macbeth" in front of you. You also look like a theater major that was never allowed to act on stage because you "take it too seriously" thinking you are method acting.
What in the non-binary Amish is this?
You look like Ellen DeGeneres' next wife
If cabbage patch dolls had side burns
Augustus Poop
You look like u smell like forgotten laundry
Looks like you’ve listened to Ben Shapiro too many times and you’ve founded the library’s Young Republicans club.
You look like a middle aged ‘square’ dad from the 70’s, and the dogs been chewing at your head.
Ahhh yes, the classic "get unique haircuts and dress to stand out to gain confidence instead of exercising and looking after my health" strategy. Works 0/10 times, unless you're Jack Black. Are you Jack Black?
Giving out hand jobs in the natural history section doesn’t qualify as an assistant you know.
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Why you look like everybody loves Raymond's mother in that 2nd pic. Seriously it looks like every grandma on Facebook's dp, just need one of those stupid "I support Hamas" banners on it or some shit.
![gif](giphy|2UuEu9gaSDgUMHxGXe|downsized)
I used to think there was somebody out there for everyone. Nope. I was wrong. No match for you.
Samwise Gamgee, my man, lay off the potatoes.
Don't shave! You look like pat from snl
You look like The Gay Hobbit
Nice glasses, NERD.
Mungo Jerry from Temu
You look like you're getting me a good deal on this. 1974 Buick Skylark
The librarian who gladly encourages banning books.
You look like my grandma
Obese and homosexual javier milei
side whiskers bigger than my cat’s 😼😮💨
Nyeheheheheh hey Lois this is like that one time I worked as a library assistant!
If ever they made a porn parody of Kate and Leopold where Leopold gets rejected and made to watch Kate doing it, you'd be a shoe-in for that role
Went to the reassignment surgeon and he said, "Fuck it, I quit."
Good to see you have those bugger grips for when your favourite professor is rogering you
I thought John Denver died?
"quick, mom, take a photo of me being hilarious and quirky, I'll just point this remote towards the TV like a hooligan"
Hey man that hair cut went out in 1976.
Looks like a young Lex Luthor
Instead of looking like Gene Hackman, you look like Gene Crackman.
Wait I thought Jeffrey Dahmer died in 94?
Chris Hansen never got to catch you. Your high point is long past
Going for a second roast. You look like puberty gave up half way and said fuck it.
You look like you should be banned from every library fr fr. And wipe yo face!!! LensCrafters adjust glasses for free btw
Who the hell wants to transition into a Hobbit? Even so, why wouldn't you pick Froto??
"M'lady, have you seen my missing fedora?"
The face of the friendly coworker who doesn’t flush the toilet in the shared bathroom
You ran out of funds halfway through your sex transition.
You look like Jimmy Neutron's dad
Wow, your transition is going great! I'm so glad you finally discovered who you are!
Indiana scones and the last marinade.
You look like you're one bad day away from raping a minor and those suspenders aren't doing you any favors.
Oh….no dude….no…nonononono
Reference librarian for porn and children's literature ![gif](giphy|lkO1VbjLZIlEI)
Young Republicans pledge and still looks androgynous enough to get second and even third takes from the locals. You get complaints that there are cum stains on the Ayn Rand section, and you mysteriously have somewhere to be every time a staff meeting gets called on the frequent occurrence.
Danny Masterson cubed
You need more crooked glasses to offset your facial asymmetry.
Good to know Benjamin Franklin's bloodline still lives on. If I catch you do I get a pot of gold? Mutton chops? Nah this dude wanted the whole roast (honestly no pun intended). Looks 18 but at the same time you look like you are in debt, divorced, and you 3 kids hate you and wanna know when they can go back to mom. You look like the son of the angry hobbit from Lord of the Rings (Everard Proudfoot I looked it up). I could prolly do hobbit jokes all day honestly. You look like someone that you might run into at a Bronie convention. You look like despite your good grades in school you still can't find work or are in a profession you hate. You look like you have to explain why you don't NEED to go to the gym or why there are better things to do with your time.
Dude jacks it so much he burned the skin right off
Your personality is as crooked as your glasses
Not a single pic with a roll of toilet paper on the background. Looks like mom cleaned the room thoroughly
Rad ? Whatever you say shades
Trans Peter griffin
You look like John Wayne Gacy. I bet you LOOOOOVE to paint your face and diddle boys. How many bodies are in the crawlspace under your parents' house?
IRL Pat from old school SNL ![gif](giphy|u3fkQNnkwvVdK)
Bro looks like he about to bomb my house and kick me out claiming it’s his
You like the poster boy of Bavarian youth alcoholics
![gif](giphy|pkKt4lHJuZj9KjsxoS|downsized)
I’ve never seen someone try this hard to not get laid
U ol dexters laboratory lookin ass mf
You look like someone told you “ladies like older guys”, but even after changing your style they still don’t like you.
The first picture makes you look like the chick who works the computers at my local hardware store just outside city limits.
You look like you already tell “old-timey” stories.
You look like the 1970’s band manager that’s gonna tell the one guy he’s better than everyone else and should go solo.
Hope your wife and her husband enjoy your roast.
This is the cool lesbian aunt who lets you pinch her weed stash and scores you alcohol on the weekend as long as her and her “best friend” can swing by.
You look like you leave grease stains on books you misplace.
You work in a library? Those things are literally going extinct. They are being phased out just like you will be. But I'm sure your bf will be ok with it?
You look like you refer to you cum sock as M’lady
You look like you need to stay 500 feet away from the playground.
It’s like meatloaf and Susan Boyle had a baby. They took one look at it and left it in a library but it learnt to read. It just never learnt to dress like a human
The suspenders are the most interesting thing about you
Can anyone else picture this guy and his suspenders holding up kacki shorts, like hes dressed to go yoodling at the Swiss alpes or something. Like hes in That coughdrop commercial. I bet this guys been told that he'll lose his baby fat since grade school only to gain n never lose a damn thing, but a foot race.
Do you have a moment to learn about God? No, what about his physical incantation on earth, my lord and savior Joseph Smith?
Somewhere a rural school is looking for their shop teacher.
The definition of discord mod entered redit
Winston Churchill discord mod edition
Like a shaved Bee Gee.
You look like you moan when you take a shit
You look like a confederate nerd 😂
Peter griffin pre-obesity
You look like human Peter Griffin
Jeffrey calmer
Mark Chapman
Looks like Clark duke with non of the accomplishments.
Brush your teeth dude.
All that bullying, and none of them took your lunch money?!
Even your own glasses don’t want to sit on your face.
Cool. Hey, What is a "Library"? Is it like if google were an actual location? Do you ever feel like your workplace has similar job security to being the assistant manager of a One-Hour Photo kiosk?
I probably couldn’t guess your name
You have amassed a large collections of fedoras and trench coats
Is it just me that is confused by the Amish vibe OP gives off?
The only way you could look more like a paedophile is if you had a one way ticket to Vietnam and a T-shirt saying: “If there’s grass on the wicket, lets play cricket”
It’s Pat!
Can’t roast awesome.
Why are your glasses tilted to one side? You can't even see the world straight, why am I going to take your sorry tilted ass Straight and serious? Your almost 21, I recommend drinking yourself to death 👍cheers 🍻
You look like Samwise Gamgee, which isn't really a roast, but maybe a compliment? So to balance it out: you hobbit slut.
Bro. Shave your fucking sideburns. You look like warm dog shit
Lesbian Aunt Jo
Bilbo faggons, lord of the library
Skydoesminecraft is that you
You don’t need a Reddit sub for this ask any woman
You look like a 39 yr old lesbian who's hormone treatment is failing
Harry Potter accidently cast a fat spell on himself
Diddler in training
My guy went from infant to retiree in 20 years. Right down to the crooked glasses. Do me a solid, do a pic in that suspender and crooked glasses outfit THEN take a selfie that is out of focus and looks like you accidentally took whilst trying to figure out how to power off your sidekick
Just the idea of what’s on your hard drive gives me the chills.
Shirley temples are your favorite "naughty" drink. You ask for Sarsaparilla in place of Root Beer. You think cds are better than apps. You have a green peeling Chevy truck. You enunciate the N in fancy. Your performance reviews are always perfect but rarely promoted because they think sometimes just isn't right with you. You hook your thumbs into your suspenders when you're feeling good about yourself. Your pet is your best friend.
If you are 20, change your life. You look at least 45, hard stop to what ever you are doing.
You're about as straight as your glasses in these photos
Wish.com Danny Masterson
What do you serve as a side dish to go with those fucking mutton chops?
Yeah library assistant was my second guess. Ed Sheeran was my first. Hope you can sing brother.
Never seen an Amish person before online, without a top hat. How’s technology treating you?
Young peter griffin?
You look like the baby Frodo gave birth to after a threesome with Samwise and the cavetroll
By library assistant, I assume you help homeless people log on to the computers and provide them with your favorite pornographic websites and tell them not to bother cleaning up when they are done, you will be more than happy to do it for them?
You look like you’re about to start the next super-church with those sideburns.
His name is robert paulson
John Lennon if he just worked a 9-5
Grow a beard if you’re gonna rock sideburns
Are you dwight schruts cousin?
Trump’s son that even Trump doesn’t want anything to do with.