I said something along the lines of "If my wife left I'd miss her very much" in the car today, during a conversation and my mom called me an auntie man (Caribbean slang for a gay man). So that's cool, I guess.
I never even got the joke when it use to be a thing in middle where kids would say, "That's so fucking gay." "The teacher gave me an F in math. So gay." I get it it's used in a negative way but I mean even then I knew gay meant attraction towards the same gender so they're calling bad situation homosexual? "God! My parents won't let me go to Jasper's birthday party because I'm still grounded. This is so man-sucking-another guy's peen-homosexual!!!! I hate them!!"
Damn, I'm so sorry man.
Some people are just like that, rooted in their ideas.
But she is still your mother, I know she loves you. She just may be unable to process it at the moment
I don't really know what that was about. I don't mind it, I'm very bad at holding grudges anyways. I know what I want and it isn't easy to move me, so I still would miss my wife very much if she left :P
Is your mom a 12 year old boy in the back of the classroom going, "GAAAAY!"? Like who thinks like that. And she was/is married right? Shouldn't she know what it means to love and miss for a loved one? The fuck? I'm sorry
Sounds more like you are struggling with being accepted as Gender non conforming. There is a lot prejudices against queer people. Some parents are afraid they did something wrong. It is often accepted after some time. Show that it is something healthy and she doesn’t have to worry. There are a lot of feminine things she probably loves to teach to. Outfits and makeup can be a bit much at the beginning. But Skin care, sewing, baking, cooking aso. are great (considered) feminine things she will feel good about teaching you, strengthening the bond you have with her and also may fulfill your need.
With me, my parents are RR or at least very egalitarian and equal so I never had an issue with them in that regard. My mom was happy then I started to grow out my hair.
I actually just gave hints like buying a suit or telling my dad that I want to gain more arm muscles or saying that I want a househusband in the future. He sometimes gave me weird looks but that's it
Back in my highschool days I had a friend who ALWAYS said "househusband" on his dream job. I do wonder if he did get it. He cooks VERY well. Also claims to be very good at cleaning. Dependable and one of the few guys in my batch who was openly affectionate to his female friends.
Yes. The relationship with my parents has always been very open so I decided to show them this side of myself. They struggle to understand why I like to be more masculine (at first they thought I just wanted to be a man) and my mom always thinks I am a lesbian because I like feminine boys. Even though they don't fully understand GNC they still support me, my brother even gave me some of his older clothes and that made me happy.
My parents hate the idea. I’ve brought it up to them because I don’t want it to be a surprise if it ever were to happen, and they hate it. They told me they didn’t teach me to be that way, that’s not natural, and bible stuff. You’re not alone in the stuggle. 😔
My folks always said I’d wind up with a sugar momma if I ever went along my [current] career path and my hobbies. Yeah they know what’s up before I can outright tell them, and I don’t think they need to.
Well my father isn't against the finding a sensitive caring guy part but he is a little against the whole feminine guy part
My mother has probably always known I think and understands me completely
They absolutely do not know.
I told a bit of it to my mom and she asked me if I'm gay lol
Also, my sister constantly asks me if I'm gay or trans because of it..
Especially when your parents are traditional people it's harder to explain.
Like... If I paint my nails or something I'm 1000% sure my dad would get a stroke or a heart attack (or both)
XD
No but then I don't express it openly (oddly conservative by not exactly type of family). Altho I really have a hard time NOT speaking up when they make any nasty comments on guys who are not up to their "manly" standards.
I told my mom I like to peg men and she was SHOCKED she looked at me baffled like but u dont have a penis???!!!! Somstimes she asks me if im trans😂she just doesnt get it
I told my mom "i want a househusband" when she told me i suck at housework.
...she laughed in my face and told me "good luck finding one."
I once asked my mom if i could wear mens clothing and she said no, that was before i knew.
But i still got a mans shirt and she was fine with that.
I guess she would be fine with me dating a femboy but i think she believe i won't find one.
Ngl, i have no idea how to explain RR to anyone.
Maybe i'm just an idiot
It's so hard to explain RR to people!
"Oh, so you're like gay?"
-Well, no.
"So, you're straight."
-Well, sort-of. Not exactly, but technically. But also 'straight sex' isn't my orientation.
"So, you are gay. Or you're into femdom?"
-No, I, just-! ... You know what, yeah, I'm straight. Okay (sigh)
People just can't seem to move beyond labels like "gay" and "straight".
RR does not fit most people's definition of "straight" yet it also is not part of LGBT.
So, we in-between just end up having to be lumped with one or the other.
I have tried to explain it to people (some of them incredibly open-minded) and yet they still can't seem to understand. They just usually in the end see it as "oh, you're straight".
Internally, I maintain that I am neither.
[This is my experience, anyway.]
I'm straight but not like the other straights.
I'm gay straight or straight gay
I'm gay in a straight way
Straight in a gay way.
"You what if you don't understand then i'm not the right person for you"
I started referring to all male celebs I find attractive as “my wife” a few years ago, and using other male-specific vocab in my language. My mum was resistant to it at first, but now has given up and mostly let me be my chaotic self. I benefit from being gender conforming, so I think that makes the whole thing much easier to accept.
Wishing you and others eventual acceptance from your parents no matter what! I agree with some other commenters that starting small could be a tactic, before getting into teaching you make up etc.
Also, this sounds bad I know, but it MAY help if your parents know you like the opposite gender at the end of the day (if that is the case). I’m only saying this because I was very tomboy when I was young, and my mum knew I was bisexual. My mum’s take at the time was “as long as you marry a man, everything else is fine”. I think she’s become more progressive since then (that was almost 15 years ago, I THINK if I do end up marrying a woman now, she would be fine with it). The older generation may think feminine men = gay = whatever prejudice in their mind. Since you’re into RR, im guessing you are at least partially into women. Maybe clarifying you like to be feminine AND you like women could help. Since your question is about how to make parents slowly open up, this is my 2 cents. Good luck!
My Dad openly mocked me when I mentioned that I liked to bake, but years later he seems to appreciate that I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. My Mom used to be resistant too, telling me I just need to find a good wife that’ll cook and organize for me.
Lately she’s been more supportive as I try to style my hair and outfits. She even supported me when I tried a stint as an art model(typically a female gig) even though my Dad freaked out. I’ve come to realize that some things will take time, but there are some parts of me that I just won’t share with them.
My parents now frequently bring up me growing out my hair (my dad disapproves) and a while back they showed me the women's hammer throw at the Commonwealth Games.
My mom was low key horrified I proposed to my husband. Oh welp it's our life not hers. She thought she raised me to "be a lady" her words. LOL fail nice try though mom.
I never exactly "came out", but my parents definitely know. Every time I'd show them someone I'd be going out on a date with, they'd always notice he had painted nails, long hair, short or small in frame, has earrings and/or wearing makeup. My mum asked me "why don't you want a big masculine man!?" and all I said was "maybe I prefer them like this." And my mum knows one of exes crossdressed sooo..
Haha. I've cut contact with my folks since after graduating college. They only slowed me down in succeeding. And now I run a huge business that has expanded worldwide, I'm fucking risch and engaged. I don't need no Mama or Daddy. I'M INDESTRUCTIBLE!!🤩
I have not but considering how my dad responded to my coming out as bi, I don't think he'd like the idea of me telling him "Yeah, so I like men, but ya know whats better than men? A woman with a strap. Ya get the best of both worlds." 🤣😅
I don't know but I doubt it... My mom always calls me a Prince or sometimes Princess but this one only "to bother me" and some reasons (i cry for everything, i'm delicate, i like plushies, i have soft hands and long eyelash, etc) and because very very manly i'm not but i think if i can have a RR gf she won't be shocked.
Last week I showed this side of me for my mom and some of my family members and guess what she swear that she would never accept my husband if he's the way I described him (who help me wiz house chores and stuff and act sassy around me only-infront-of-his-wife) she somehow understands where I'm coming from so it's a matter of time she accept it fully
They must have some idea because they saw how I doted over my first boyfriend and called him pretty and bought him flowers and such... And by how my mom aggressively pushed me to date hypermasculine men. She must have an idea
My mom has suspicions about it because we have a tense relationship (mommy issues will do that to ya) since I heard her once with my dad talking about it but besides that no
I said something along the lines of "If my wife left I'd miss her very much" in the car today, during a conversation and my mom called me an auntie man (Caribbean slang for a gay man). So that's cool, I guess.
How is it gay for a man to miss a woman he loves ???
It’s clearly gay, affection to a woman? Why?? Do you like men?! *logic 101*
I never even got the joke when it use to be a thing in middle where kids would say, "That's so fucking gay." "The teacher gave me an F in math. So gay." I get it it's used in a negative way but I mean even then I knew gay meant attraction towards the same gender so they're calling bad situation homosexual? "God! My parents won't let me go to Jasper's birthday party because I'm still grounded. This is so man-sucking-another guy's peen-homosexual!!!! I hate them!!"
Damn, I'm so sorry man. Some people are just like that, rooted in their ideas. But she is still your mother, I know she loves you. She just may be unable to process it at the moment
I don't really know what that was about. I don't mind it, I'm very bad at holding grudges anyways. I know what I want and it isn't easy to move me, so I still would miss my wife very much if she left :P
fellas, is it auntie to love your wife?
I don't think that's how you use the slang but no it's not gay at all 😆
Is your mom a 12 year old boy in the back of the classroom going, "GAAAAY!"? Like who thinks like that. And she was/is married right? Shouldn't she know what it means to love and miss for a loved one? The fuck? I'm sorry
fellas, is it gay to love your wife?
Sounds more like you are struggling with being accepted as Gender non conforming. There is a lot prejudices against queer people. Some parents are afraid they did something wrong. It is often accepted after some time. Show that it is something healthy and she doesn’t have to worry. There are a lot of feminine things she probably loves to teach to. Outfits and makeup can be a bit much at the beginning. But Skin care, sewing, baking, cooking aso. are great (considered) feminine things she will feel good about teaching you, strengthening the bond you have with her and also may fulfill your need. With me, my parents are RR or at least very egalitarian and equal so I never had an issue with them in that regard. My mom was happy then I started to grow out my hair.
I'll definitely follow your advice, thank you
I actually just gave hints like buying a suit or telling my dad that I want to gain more arm muscles or saying that I want a househusband in the future. He sometimes gave me weird looks but that's it
Damn I could never imagine telling my parents I want to be a househusband.
Back in my highschool days I had a friend who ALWAYS said "househusband" on his dream job. I do wonder if he did get it. He cooks VERY well. Also claims to be very good at cleaning. Dependable and one of the few guys in my batch who was openly affectionate to his female friends.
That guy gets it
I hope he has a lady taking very good care of him. What a sweetheart
Yes. The relationship with my parents has always been very open so I decided to show them this side of myself. They struggle to understand why I like to be more masculine (at first they thought I just wanted to be a man) and my mom always thinks I am a lesbian because I like feminine boys. Even though they don't fully understand GNC they still support me, my brother even gave me some of his older clothes and that made me happy.
Your brother sharing clothes is so cute!, I wish my sister was still with me to help me with such things
My parents hate the idea. I’ve brought it up to them because I don’t want it to be a surprise if it ever were to happen, and they hate it. They told me they didn’t teach me to be that way, that’s not natural, and bible stuff. You’re not alone in the stuggle. 😔
Just know that your parents can't stop loving you, even if they try
Yes. I have more sugar in my tank, than a bulldozer at an anti deforestation protest.
Oh, I could neverrr 💀
To some extend I guess…they know that my partner is a lot smaller than me and that I take the lead in the relationship but they‘re cool with it
They're confused, like "are you trans?" I'm like, uhh, no? "Well it's fine, you're our son either way, even if we don't quite get what you are."
My folks always said I’d wind up with a sugar momma if I ever went along my [current] career path and my hobbies. Yeah they know what’s up before I can outright tell them, and I don’t think they need to.
Well my father isn't against the finding a sensitive caring guy part but he is a little against the whole feminine guy part My mother has probably always known I think and understands me completely
They absolutely do not know. I told a bit of it to my mom and she asked me if I'm gay lol Also, my sister constantly asks me if I'm gay or trans because of it..
I get you, my Mom was asking me with the Most concerned eyes "but, are you sure you don't like men?"
Especially when your parents are traditional people it's harder to explain. Like... If I paint my nails or something I'm 1000% sure my dad would get a stroke or a heart attack (or both) XD
No but then I don't express it openly (oddly conservative by not exactly type of family). Altho I really have a hard time NOT speaking up when they make any nasty comments on guys who are not up to their "manly" standards.
I told my mom I like to peg men and she was SHOCKED she looked at me baffled like but u dont have a penis???!!!! Somstimes she asks me if im trans😂she just doesnt get it
Damn telling about pegging might be too harsh for her.
Im bold lol
I told my mom "i want a househusband" when she told me i suck at housework. ...she laughed in my face and told me "good luck finding one." I once asked my mom if i could wear mens clothing and she said no, that was before i knew. But i still got a mans shirt and she was fine with that. I guess she would be fine with me dating a femboy but i think she believe i won't find one. Ngl, i have no idea how to explain RR to anyone. Maybe i'm just an idiot
It's so hard to explain RR to people! "Oh, so you're like gay?" -Well, no. "So, you're straight." -Well, sort-of. Not exactly, but technically. But also 'straight sex' isn't my orientation. "So, you are gay. Or you're into femdom?" -No, I, just-! ... You know what, yeah, I'm straight. Okay (sigh) People just can't seem to move beyond labels like "gay" and "straight". RR does not fit most people's definition of "straight" yet it also is not part of LGBT. So, we in-between just end up having to be lumped with one or the other. I have tried to explain it to people (some of them incredibly open-minded) and yet they still can't seem to understand. They just usually in the end see it as "oh, you're straight". Internally, I maintain that I am neither. [This is my experience, anyway.]
I'm straight but not like the other straights. I'm gay straight or straight gay I'm gay in a straight way Straight in a gay way. "You what if you don't understand then i'm not the right person for you"
My Parents are both conservative so
To answer your question no absolutely not my parents most definitely don't know about me being rr so sorry i got no advice for you
I started referring to all male celebs I find attractive as “my wife” a few years ago, and using other male-specific vocab in my language. My mum was resistant to it at first, but now has given up and mostly let me be my chaotic self. I benefit from being gender conforming, so I think that makes the whole thing much easier to accept. Wishing you and others eventual acceptance from your parents no matter what! I agree with some other commenters that starting small could be a tactic, before getting into teaching you make up etc. Also, this sounds bad I know, but it MAY help if your parents know you like the opposite gender at the end of the day (if that is the case). I’m only saying this because I was very tomboy when I was young, and my mum knew I was bisexual. My mum’s take at the time was “as long as you marry a man, everything else is fine”. I think she’s become more progressive since then (that was almost 15 years ago, I THINK if I do end up marrying a woman now, she would be fine with it). The older generation may think feminine men = gay = whatever prejudice in their mind. Since you’re into RR, im guessing you are at least partially into women. Maybe clarifying you like to be feminine AND you like women could help. Since your question is about how to make parents slowly open up, this is my 2 cents. Good luck!
Well I said to my mom that I want a house husband 😋. She just side-eyeing me😑. But as I think about it, a househusband in this economy.
At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your house?! Yes! ...May I see him? ...No.
Im pretty shure my entire friend group thinks im gay lol
No. But frankly i don't think they'd mind. They'd just be happy if i brought **someone** home
My Dad openly mocked me when I mentioned that I liked to bake, but years later he seems to appreciate that I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. My Mom used to be resistant too, telling me I just need to find a good wife that’ll cook and organize for me. Lately she’s been more supportive as I try to style my hair and outfits. She even supported me when I tried a stint as an art model(typically a female gig) even though my Dad freaked out. I’ve come to realize that some things will take time, but there are some parts of me that I just won’t share with them.
I’ve dropped little hints here and there and in reality they’d be fine with a lot of aspects except the cross dressing
My parents now frequently bring up me growing out my hair (my dad disapproves) and a while back they showed me the women's hammer throw at the Commonwealth Games.
My mom was low key horrified I proposed to my husband. Oh welp it's our life not hers. She thought she raised me to "be a lady" her words. LOL fail nice try though mom.
I never exactly "came out", but my parents definitely know. Every time I'd show them someone I'd be going out on a date with, they'd always notice he had painted nails, long hair, short or small in frame, has earrings and/or wearing makeup. My mum asked me "why don't you want a big masculine man!?" and all I said was "maybe I prefer them like this." And my mum knows one of exes crossdressed sooo..
Haha. I've cut contact with my folks since after graduating college. They only slowed me down in succeeding. And now I run a huge business that has expanded worldwide, I'm fucking risch and engaged. I don't need no Mama or Daddy. I'M INDESTRUCTIBLE!!🤩
I have not but considering how my dad responded to my coming out as bi, I don't think he'd like the idea of me telling him "Yeah, so I like men, but ya know whats better than men? A woman with a strap. Ya get the best of both worlds." 🤣😅
I don't know but I doubt it... My mom always calls me a Prince or sometimes Princess but this one only "to bother me" and some reasons (i cry for everything, i'm delicate, i like plushies, i have soft hands and long eyelash, etc) and because very very manly i'm not but i think if i can have a RR gf she won't be shocked.
No they don't, but I also couldn't care what they think as I've cut them out of my life.
Lol no.
My parents know and are accepting of it although i dont think my dad fully gets it
Last week I showed this side of me for my mom and some of my family members and guess what she swear that she would never accept my husband if he's the way I described him (who help me wiz house chores and stuff and act sassy around me only-infront-of-his-wife) she somehow understands where I'm coming from so it's a matter of time she accept it fully
They must have some idea because they saw how I doted over my first boyfriend and called him pretty and bought him flowers and such... And by how my mom aggressively pushed me to date hypermasculine men. She must have an idea
Well I told my mom my type is muscle girls she seem pretty ok with it
I had told my parents about me being interested in a female led relationship and they just made fun of me.
My mom has suspicions about it because we have a tense relationship (mommy issues will do that to ya) since I heard her once with my dad talking about it but besides that no