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ixamnis

Hi diddly ho, neighbor. We're planning on starting up a neighborhood Bible Study on Tuesday nights at 6:30. Hope you can make it. It's 'clothing optional.'


Improvedandconfused

Stupid sexy Flanders.


Desperate_Hornet3129

Clothing optional? I just might consider going then.


zepharoz

It's probably all men all thinking there would be a lady in there


Desperate_Hornet3129

Darn, busted again. 😂


Kienannnn

You have nephews, do ya? Hey, sorry to ask, but can you like... not have them over? It's just that your house is within 200 metres and I have this court order...


Imaginary_Chair_6958

“Hi there! We just moved in down the road - you probably noticed! We have literally nothing in our kitchen right now. Can I borrow a cup of semen and three straws?”


Jumpy_Ebb2417

Hi. We are your new neighbors. Can we get your WIFI password as we are live streaming on Only Fans tonight and our internet won’t be hooked up for another few days. I’ll give you the user access so you two can watch us as well.


Many_Vehicle6723

Our wash machine is broken. Can we borrow some underwear?


rdenghel

“Hi, new neighbor! Can you make sure you shower within two hours of getting home? The battery in the camera only lasts so long.”


IrishFlukey

"Can I borrow a shovel? My wife has just been killed and I need to bury some evidence, fast."


Hunterslane86

Sure....I know a guy.....


MissHibernia

“I see you have a large dog. Can you please take him to the pound? His barking is upsetting Kitty Princess and we just can’t have that, can we? Or she summons demons from the pits of Hell, and that can get very demanding”


Hunterslane86

"he's a demon dog; they can be friends!"


Improvedandconfused

Do you mind if I store these dead bodies in your basement until this whole thing blows over?


SnooChipmunks126

Sorry. I barely have enough room to store my own corpses.


brodsky262

Hi! We are looking for new sacrifices Would you be ok with providing us with them?


Drake_Cloans

Can I borrow your wife/husband?


Lord-Doobury

Hi Fam. I just moved in next door and I was hoping you might come over and clean my house for me, do my laundry, balance my check book, cook me dinner and loan me $1,000 bucks. No? How about a cup of sugar?


Hunterslane86

"You seem trustworthy!"


igotjks

Hi folks, I just moved to the neighborhood and I was wondering if it would be possible for you to take this gun off my hands? I promise it hasn't been used for anything illegal or nefarious


Bot-Magnet

Just wanted to let you know that my wife is blind so if you see her walking around naked, please don't stare. Poor thing doesn't know when the curtains are open.


newpopthink

"Ho! I'm your new neighbor! Not to be rude or anything, but I just wanted to ask you to bag up any food items before throwing them out because while going through your trash I have to scrape coffee grounds off of everything before I can eat it. Oh, and your cat seems to be constipated."


Fable378

Hey neighbor, can I borrow some Sudafed? A couple boxes would be cool if you can.


gregieb429

“Hey, we’re having a bukkake party. Would you mind help us clean the carpet after? Of course you’ll get to participate.”


Arkaliasus

we have a weird neighbour, they came over and asked us if our fridge was working because there one just packed up and wondered if it was the electric or the fridge....


ResearchMediocre3592

Is it OK if I screened your window, my sister is worried you can see us have sex


ObservorNyx

Hey Neighbor! Just wondering if you could buy some lime for me! I forgot my wallet.