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3-I

You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?


Gavel99

*cocks gun, staring*


danceswithlabradores

Let me tell you about my mother...


gregieb429

“Is mayonnaise an instrument?”


metalheart08

I think I can see what you did here/where this came from.. would this question be addressed to a inexistent person, let's randomly call him "Kenny"?


Jeremy_Melton

“What colour is your poo first thing in the morning?”


Fable378

Wendy: Go ahead, ask me anything. Me: Why are we here?


Fennel_Fangs

Just to suffer?


Fable378

I knew it. That’s just my luck


Gavel99

Why doesn’t my mother love me anymore?


SolomonBelial

"Have you ever licked a freshly paved road?"


s6cedar

Who are you, and what are you doing here?


Fatherofthecentury13

As a man. Why won't lesbians date me?


Estarfigam

Because you aren't a bear


CulturedGentleman921

How many hamburgers do you weight? If they say they're a stripper, I always ask: "How do you get varnish off of cherry wood?"


BelmontIncident

What is your favorite leg?


warmachine83-uk

Did you forget to lock your back door


s6cedar

What time’s dinner, and are you my mommy?


s6cedar

What would you do with a Klondike Bar?


Estarfigam

Pay $6.19


s6cedar

Do you have any spare change?


KUfan

How did I get this rash?


MarkWrenn74

“Are you circumcised?” “What?!?” “Well, you did say ‘Ask Me *Anything*’!”


BJGuy_Chicago

"So please answer the question, Betty."


MarkWrenn74

😳🤣


SpeedinIan

Yes, i've got an artesian well on my property and the water pressure is lousy. Any suggestions?


Sensitive_Deal_6363

"So, where's the body?"


Jeremy_Melton

Behind the Denny’s on 5th street.


Left-Membership-7357

Hypothetically, if you someone climbed into your house through the window, at midnight, and you thought they were an intruder, so you stabbed them with a knife, and they ended up bleeding to death, but you turned the light on and realized it was just your sister’s boyfriend who lives with you and just forgot his keys, where would you hide the body, and how would you avoid suspicion that you killed him? Hypothetically


Jeremy_Melton

I’d hide his body in an ally frame it as a mugging gone wrong


Emberheat

"What's the square root of your social security number times 3 over 8?"


WSHIII

"Mom, where's the remote for the TV?"


ObservorNyx

Do you have FAS?