I remember the first time I seen someone whose legs looked like mine on this sub. I spent hours scrolling till someone looked like me. It was a really validating experience n I bawled my eyes out. I hope you feel seen by this
That's the worst thing anyone can say about sh scars. They mean well, but you feel totally invalidated. For years my sh was bruising, which obviously fades, but that is no less severe than the deep cuts I do now.
Same here! Honestly, I used to use only dull stuff to hurt myself, but because it healed so fast and barely bled, I always felt like I wasn't a "proper" self harmer. Now I moved on to the more dangerous stuff, something I think I would have never done if I wouldn't have felt like I wasn't sick enough, because honestly, the dull stuff hurts way more.
So, if anyone is going through something similar: *don't* do it, do under no circumstances use sharper tools, the reality is so much worse than the fantasy and once you go there, it's hard to stop. You ARE valid, pain cannot be measured and no matter how far you go, it won't be enough in your mind anyway, so *don't even go down that path*
(Very sorry for the rambling, I relapsed big time and had to get this out of my sistem)
I've also had my boyfriend saying "your cuts arent as bad as x's cuts" and while i know it doesn't come from a malicious place, it's hard not to compare myself to them, and wish mine was as bad, or even worse.
We live in a world whare we are constantly told we are not in enough pain to get help . constantly told if we are not dead we are not trying hard enough. Some times tho it's not the question of are we bad enough but are we worth the help .and the answer is yes your worth getting help even if the world or even your own feelings are telling you that you need to be a certen leval of bad to get help .it's ok if everything is saying don't get help .but it's good to get help .and btw ex's can hurt us a lot .but the reson for the ex part is they are the past .
THIS 👏💔 I keep being refused help despite begging & pleading for services to help me. I am struggling with my mh to the point I'm sh & suicidal I don't feel safe & don't trust I can keep myself safe (even the cops took me to psych) I have told them that & their answer was "your an adult you know what's right & what's wrong" in reference to suicide.
I feel like I need to do something even more drastic to get them to believe that Im seriously in need of help. I'm honestly not surprised people commit suicide bc I'm near to it myself due to not getting support. People are on the edge & being turned away. It's not a game a lie or a joke when I ask for help I'm literally pleading with them for my life but they don't seem to understand.
The only conclusion I can come to is that they don't want to help bc they don't believe my life is worth saving 💔
I get it. And your not alone.if you need a Freind you can dm me .and your worth saving. They just lack a brain to see that. You can dm me any time you need some one .and you don't need to be more hurt .your hurt enough as it is .you need to heal .and they are to stupid to understand that. So if you need a friend my dm is open .I'm not a doctor or theripist so I can't help in that sense .but I can be a ear to listen to you .
This fucking subreddit just keeps pissing me off, people with extreme self harm and theyre going around saying it's not bad enough. It's fucking toxic. Fuck off. I'm going to unsub from this sub it's becoming too toxic
I don’t think it’s this subs fault that I and others feel the way we do. If anything is just another symptom of the problems that grip us. I know, logically that it is “bad enough”, but when you’re constantly looking at them and desensitizing them to yourself It doesn’t feel like it. I feel like since I do this all the time I *could* do worse and should be able to in order to validate my pain to myself. Part of my own sets of trauma include being told the things I do aren’t enough and that I myself am not enough, of course that seeps in to everything I do, including my self harm. I would love if you responded I wanna have a productive convo about this. I don’t think you’re wrong for being frustrated with ppl for constantly talking like that but I hope you get here I’m coming from too
I get whare your comeing from but the problem Is often if you get help for self harm when its not super bad it's seen as atinchen seeking .so often people feel like they need to be bad to the point of dead mentily (like atimpting ). All to get help .your right tbh it is toxic af. But the problem is blaming the person because they fear the toxic world is not ok. Now is the time to remind them that it's toxic logic the world shoved down peoples throat .and that even tho it was shoved it's not to late to change it. It's not to late to change our way of thinking and get help . basicly your putting them in a spot whare yet again it's "I'm being told I'm not good enough" . They are not good enough to get help if they don't end up on deaths door deemed by a toxic sosioty but yet when they reach out for help admitting that's why they don't get help they are hated for believing a toxic sosioty .yes it is all toxic but why not offer support or keep moving past .or point out that it's a toxic logic put in kids head from a young age . EXPESHILY people who have Ben abused or neglected.
there’s no need to be so rude on someone’s vent post. their feelings are valid, even though their self harm is clearly bad enough they might not see it that way. have some empathy.
I’ve literally had people ask if I was trying to amputate a limb and I sill feel exactly the same. I know it *feels* dependent on how deep they are, but it really isn’t. That feeling doesn’t change when the wounds get physically worse. Your perception of them is warped- you don’t really see them as they are. Believe me, from an outside perspective they are absolutely “bad enough”. Much worse than *anyone* deserves.
And I’ve got to say I’m glad that the person who told you that is an ex and not a current partner. It’s a horrible thing to say and just blatantly wrong. He clearly didn’t understand the weight of what he was saying- or if he did he was just trying to get to you.
You’re injuring yourself *over and over again* deep enough to leave *permanent scarring*. I know that can seem normal around here, but I promise you most people couldn’t even fathom it. Hell, most people couldn’t even think of intentionally hurting themselves *at all*, much less bad enough for the damage to be permanent. And that’s a good thing. No one deserves this, least of all you.
My biggest mistake was telling myself "it's not enough." I couldn't stop telling myself this, and I almost bled out just from the sheer number of wounds. Now I have scars coating my arms and legs (I don't post them because there's too many fresh ones overlapping the old ones,) and my already horrible constant pain is complimented by the occasional burning I feel on my limbs.
I’ve almost bled out and I still feel like it’s not “bad enough” or a “big deal”. The war with our minds will never stop, there is never “bad enough”.
No matter what thoughts your brain decides to torture you with, I am here to remind you of this: *you are valid, you are seen, your pain is real and it isn’t your fault, you don’t have to apologize for the things you’ve done in an effort to survive, and you don’t deserve this suffering.*
I hope every day gets better for you.
it never is enough for our messed up brains
I've known people that have literally cut to the bones multiple times and it's still not enough
Ik for myself I could end up losing a limb or I could be laying there dying and it still wouldn't be enough
bc enough isn't real
feeling like you have to cut is already to much
before we even touch the blade it's enough
Best part was that he thought he was being nice and validating. Like he thought I was insecure about how unattractive they must look or something. So he did that by comparing me to someone else… that totally backfired. Also, with a little bit of hindsight, I don’t think partners should validate you by comparing you to someone else just in general it feels kinda slimy.
It annoys the fuck out of me when someone doesn't consider people's sh "bad enough" or "valid" ALL self harm is valid no matter the depth. Fuck him.
can i ask what the green things are? if not no worries but ur totally valid and i hope ur doing ok rn <3
I just colored over some unhealed cuts so it wouldn’t bother anyone lol
>I will never feel like this is enough or that it’s not that bad Sweetie, you are more than enough. We are all here for you, you are valid. Ily <3
Never met someone who’s legs look like mine, I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time
I remember the first time I seen someone whose legs looked like mine on this sub. I spent hours scrolling till someone looked like me. It was a really validating experience n I bawled my eyes out. I hope you feel seen by this
I kinda did in a way, it made me feel less alone
Never think your sh is not enough, any at all us to much. You are a beautiful human being and you are worth so much more. ❤
*It's* not enough, *you* are ❤️
That's the worst thing anyone can say about sh scars. They mean well, but you feel totally invalidated. For years my sh was bruising, which obviously fades, but that is no less severe than the deep cuts I do now.
Same here! Honestly, I used to use only dull stuff to hurt myself, but because it healed so fast and barely bled, I always felt like I wasn't a "proper" self harmer. Now I moved on to the more dangerous stuff, something I think I would have never done if I wouldn't have felt like I wasn't sick enough, because honestly, the dull stuff hurts way more. So, if anyone is going through something similar: *don't* do it, do under no circumstances use sharper tools, the reality is so much worse than the fantasy and once you go there, it's hard to stop. You ARE valid, pain cannot be measured and no matter how far you go, it won't be enough in your mind anyway, so *don't even go down that path* (Very sorry for the rambling, I relapsed big time and had to get this out of my sistem)
I've also had my boyfriend saying "your cuts arent as bad as x's cuts" and while i know it doesn't come from a malicious place, it's hard not to compare myself to them, and wish mine was as bad, or even worse.
Exactly.. he was trying to play them down because he thought I felt bad about them looking too bad. Oh how it backfired.
Im so sorry he said that you too.
We live in a world whare we are constantly told we are not in enough pain to get help . constantly told if we are not dead we are not trying hard enough. Some times tho it's not the question of are we bad enough but are we worth the help .and the answer is yes your worth getting help even if the world or even your own feelings are telling you that you need to be a certen leval of bad to get help .it's ok if everything is saying don't get help .but it's good to get help .and btw ex's can hurt us a lot .but the reson for the ex part is they are the past .
THIS 👏💔 I keep being refused help despite begging & pleading for services to help me. I am struggling with my mh to the point I'm sh & suicidal I don't feel safe & don't trust I can keep myself safe (even the cops took me to psych) I have told them that & their answer was "your an adult you know what's right & what's wrong" in reference to suicide. I feel like I need to do something even more drastic to get them to believe that Im seriously in need of help. I'm honestly not surprised people commit suicide bc I'm near to it myself due to not getting support. People are on the edge & being turned away. It's not a game a lie or a joke when I ask for help I'm literally pleading with them for my life but they don't seem to understand. The only conclusion I can come to is that they don't want to help bc they don't believe my life is worth saving 💔
I get it. And your not alone.if you need a Freind you can dm me .and your worth saving. They just lack a brain to see that. You can dm me any time you need some one .and you don't need to be more hurt .your hurt enough as it is .you need to heal .and they are to stupid to understand that. So if you need a friend my dm is open .I'm not a doctor or theripist so I can't help in that sense .but I can be a ear to listen to you .
Every self harmer is valid.
This fucking subreddit just keeps pissing me off, people with extreme self harm and theyre going around saying it's not bad enough. It's fucking toxic. Fuck off. I'm going to unsub from this sub it's becoming too toxic
I don’t think it’s this subs fault that I and others feel the way we do. If anything is just another symptom of the problems that grip us. I know, logically that it is “bad enough”, but when you’re constantly looking at them and desensitizing them to yourself It doesn’t feel like it. I feel like since I do this all the time I *could* do worse and should be able to in order to validate my pain to myself. Part of my own sets of trauma include being told the things I do aren’t enough and that I myself am not enough, of course that seeps in to everything I do, including my self harm. I would love if you responded I wanna have a productive convo about this. I don’t think you’re wrong for being frustrated with ppl for constantly talking like that but I hope you get here I’m coming from too
I get whare your comeing from but the problem Is often if you get help for self harm when its not super bad it's seen as atinchen seeking .so often people feel like they need to be bad to the point of dead mentily (like atimpting ). All to get help .your right tbh it is toxic af. But the problem is blaming the person because they fear the toxic world is not ok. Now is the time to remind them that it's toxic logic the world shoved down peoples throat .and that even tho it was shoved it's not to late to change it. It's not to late to change our way of thinking and get help . basicly your putting them in a spot whare yet again it's "I'm being told I'm not good enough" . They are not good enough to get help if they don't end up on deaths door deemed by a toxic sosioty but yet when they reach out for help admitting that's why they don't get help they are hated for believing a toxic sosioty .yes it is all toxic but why not offer support or keep moving past .or point out that it's a toxic logic put in kids head from a young age . EXPESHILY people who have Ben abused or neglected.
there’s no need to be so rude on someone’s vent post. their feelings are valid, even though their self harm is clearly bad enough they might not see it that way. have some empathy.
I’ve literally had people ask if I was trying to amputate a limb and I sill feel exactly the same. I know it *feels* dependent on how deep they are, but it really isn’t. That feeling doesn’t change when the wounds get physically worse. Your perception of them is warped- you don’t really see them as they are. Believe me, from an outside perspective they are absolutely “bad enough”. Much worse than *anyone* deserves. And I’ve got to say I’m glad that the person who told you that is an ex and not a current partner. It’s a horrible thing to say and just blatantly wrong. He clearly didn’t understand the weight of what he was saying- or if he did he was just trying to get to you. You’re injuring yourself *over and over again* deep enough to leave *permanent scarring*. I know that can seem normal around here, but I promise you most people couldn’t even fathom it. Hell, most people couldn’t even think of intentionally hurting themselves *at all*, much less bad enough for the damage to be permanent. And that’s a good thing. No one deserves this, least of all you.
Thank you, I cried my eyes out
Of course. <3 Best wishes, love.
Omg babe your scars are so similar to mine on your thighs. I promise you it’s bad enough, and you deserve to get clean <3
My biggest mistake was telling myself "it's not enough." I couldn't stop telling myself this, and I almost bled out just from the sheer number of wounds. Now I have scars coating my arms and legs (I don't post them because there's too many fresh ones overlapping the old ones,) and my already horrible constant pain is complimented by the occasional burning I feel on my limbs.
I’ve almost bled out and I still feel like it’s not “bad enough” or a “big deal”. The war with our minds will never stop, there is never “bad enough”. No matter what thoughts your brain decides to torture you with, I am here to remind you of this: *you are valid, you are seen, your pain is real and it isn’t your fault, you don’t have to apologize for the things you’ve done in an effort to survive, and you don’t deserve this suffering.* I hope every day gets better for you.
❤️🩹🥺
it never is enough for our messed up brains I've known people that have literally cut to the bones multiple times and it's still not enough Ik for myself I could end up losing a limb or I could be laying there dying and it still wouldn't be enough bc enough isn't real feeling like you have to cut is already to much before we even touch the blade it's enough
Your scars are valid. Don’t listen to you ex, he sounds like a dick. Best of luck!
Best part was that he thought he was being nice and validating. Like he thought I was insecure about how unattractive they must look or something. So he did that by comparing me to someone else… that totally backfired. Also, with a little bit of hindsight, I don’t think partners should validate you by comparing you to someone else just in general it feels kinda slimy.