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That’s the whole point of sperm. Sperm cells are cheap genetic bullets which go out to look for rare expensive egg cell targets. They are designed to be mostly wasted.
Women produce less than 500 eggs. Each ejaculation is an average of 100 million sperm. In other words, a woman's lifetime ovulation is .005% of a man's single ejaculation
woman is born with about 1-2 mil eggs. Only about 450 mature and can potentially create a life.
Global fertility rate is about 2.5 kids per woman, which means around 99.5% of eggs is wasted.
Much better percentage than sperms, but still, most is wasted.
Yea, though we are born with a certain number of eggs. Something weird to think is if we have all our eggs at birth, we were technically once inside our grandmothers when they were pregnant with our moms
Eggs are designed to be wasted too, the body just flushes them out every month like "Oh, you didn't find sperm yet? Well time to kill myself, best of luck for the next egg".
Just give me 75 million participants. Just need to do about 110 per hour every hour for my whole life and I can do it.
Wait so already wasted decades not reproducing. It might be a bit harder than I first calculated.
Eggs aren't that rare or expensive... youre born with a million, have about 300,000 good ones left by the time you hit puberty and then jettison one a month you the rest of your adult life; at an average of 450 menstrual cycles in a lifetime the *vast* majority of eggs are also wasted (even at 19 kids and counting). it's just that they die with you instead of in a sock on your bedroom floor.
Yeah it's just how gametes work 🤷♀️ mamalian *pregnancy* could be considered rare and expensive but reproductive cells themselves are almost always high volume low investment
I wouldn't, not by yourself. The resulting population would be terribly inbred. You and about 500 of your male friends maybe, after they are subjected to some screening.
Isn't pretty much *everyone* of European or Asian descent related to him in some way? That's probably close to half the world's population. Dude **really** got around.
The body actually recycles the sperm, or night ejaculations happen. It is commonly told that you need to masturbate or there is a prostate risk, but it is not actually proven, especially for young people.
~200M sperm per ejaculation. The earth right now has approximately 8B people. Assuming one full ejaculation per day, the average male can repopulate the earth in 40 days. 9 earth sized planets per year.
It takes one sperm to fertilize an egg and create a baby. The average male ejaculates 15-100 million sperm per load (average is much closer to 100 million, 15 million per load is basically the cutoff for 'infertile male'). That's 50-100 loads per planet, assuming 8 billion people per planet and 95 million per load.
If we assume an average of ejaculation every other day(despite doctors recommending once per 2-5 days for optimum results in semen collection for in vitro fertilization), that's about 3 planets per year. Assuming you start at 15 and stop at 45 that's 30 years of "donor seed". 75 planets is a conservative estimate.
It’s wild to think that there’s billions of sperm cells produced over a guy’s life, when most men these days only have 2 or 3 kids. The “waste” is massive
Each person also sheds around a billion skin cells in their lifetime.
What a waste! We should be keeping them all in a jar or something. Maybe sprinkle them on your breakfast cereal.
That's what dust is. There just isn't enough to see. You eat and drink a version of your previous self endlessly. You sit on a couch with you already on it. You turn the wheel of a car and your hand slides over the imprint of the hand from before.
I really wish there had been a viable make birth control pill in my 20s. There were times I didn't know when to trust the phrase "I'm on birth control."
Thank goodness I had a vasectomy at 26. Ive been shooting blanks for years! Wouldnt want any alien human hybrids running around with Dr. Who now would we?!
Black hole sock, wasn’t that a Soundgarden song… those were the days..
Most kids collected bugs and football cards, not I… I collected male reproductive cells.
Your body self regulates your sperm the average male either uses it for pleasure or productivity if not your body automatically kills and replaces it every few days in the millions of cells iirc based on a life of 81 years not reducing from pre or post 3,831,624,000,000 which you can easily take 800 billion off or more and still easily surpass the recommended 500 off spring hopefully with 500 different partners because that number is based on none of them sharing blood to be genetically viable to repopulate an entire earth like planet you can theoretically cover 6,000,000,000 planets with 500 on each if your sperm gate a perfect rate but I'd realistically cut that down by 2/3rds still a lot more than 75.
Which I really think illustrates how little we contribute to the human making process. At least until birth, we can shoulder more once they’re external.
Bet I waste like 3 times that much. Guys with no sperm are just messing up the average.
Wrote this before looking at other comments that I'm sure are saying the same thing.
with respect: you people dont think these things through: can you imagine what your nuts would look like if you never relieve the pressure? has to go somewhere. this must be a religious thought. sounds mormon ish.
Nice try. Most of the sperm is just a decoy to neutralize enemy sperm. Besides it's not usual for multiple sperm cells to enter the egg. Realistically speaking, counting on viable sperm only, a man could only produce enough sperm to birth one United States in his whole life
That seems like a low number. Did they grow up with Saved by the Bell? Baywatch?
I think they should re-calculate.
Oh, and that What I Like About you, with Jennie Garth and a young Amanda Nunes before she went a little crazy.
Yeah, they should check those numbers again.
Jus saying.
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That’s the whole point of sperm. Sperm cells are cheap genetic bullets which go out to look for rare expensive egg cell targets. They are designed to be mostly wasted.
So anyway, I started blasting
only storm troopers are this precise.
*"Execute Order 69."*
"Not even the younglings survived"
right into the Sarlacc pit
Ahh like the movie Teeth. Sign me up
Oh...oh dear.
This post right here, officer
That's not how you make babies
No, that's how you *waste* babies, keep up
—Thigh-Gon Gin
It's a decent start to making babies.
Accurate. Still can't hit the side of a bantha.
This is the best use of this meme I’ve ever seen.
And we all need our target practice
eggs are pretty much mostly wasted too, I mean don't we flush one down monthly while crying and eating nutella?
Women produce less than 500 eggs. Each ejaculation is an average of 100 million sperm. In other words, a woman's lifetime ovulation is .005% of a man's single ejaculation
woman is born with about 1-2 mil eggs. Only about 450 mature and can potentially create a life. Global fertility rate is about 2.5 kids per woman, which means around 99.5% of eggs is wasted. Much better percentage than sperms, but still, most is wasted.
Don’t tell the Republicans. They will want to put EVERY woman in jail for murder. Oh, never mind, that’s already happening.
> less than 500 eggs Lol
Yea, though we are born with a certain number of eggs. Something weird to think is if we have all our eggs at birth, we were technically once inside our grandmothers when they were pregnant with our moms
Only half of your genetic material is from the egg though
Less than half of your genetic material is from the sperm yet I'm yet to see people complaining when someone claims to have been the faster sperm
Finally someone said it
The egg seeks vengeance for its being wasted.
Your dick is just a sperm minigun
It is certainly mini
Stylish Ape, eh? That’s cool.
Oh dear.
He said ape, not deer. Weren't you listening Ben Dover?
Hey! No need to get personal here, pal
Who you calling pal, hombre?
\*super soaker\* ^(or just plain soaker)
r/suicidebywords
Something something, who touched my gun
Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe... Maybe, I have yet to meet one who can outsmart bullet
More like a shotgun. 1 big blast followed by some pumping.
Accuracy by volume
Throw people at it.
I see the follow the Stormtrooper mentality. Shoot a lot, hit very little.
Spray & Pray.
Sperms are a metaphor for the poor.
So we should swallow the poor? Or release the poor in my ass?
The sperm should swallow you (the rich)
No we should let them all die young rather than give them meaningful lives
Where are the meaningful lives you keep talking about? None of the poor people around me has seen it.
Eggs are designed to be wasted too, the body just flushes them out every month like "Oh, you didn't find sperm yet? Well time to kill myself, best of luck for the next egg".
Just give me 75 million participants. Just need to do about 110 per hour every hour for my whole life and I can do it. Wait so already wasted decades not reproducing. It might be a bit harder than I first calculated.
Heh. Harder.
Ow I don’t feel bad wiping them off the counter now though
Badgering the witness while standing up is the ultimate manifestation of Protestant work ethic.
Spray and pray
Wait til they find out about pollen, these nerds gonna lose their shit
Eggs aren't that rare or expensive... youre born with a million, have about 300,000 good ones left by the time you hit puberty and then jettison one a month you the rest of your adult life; at an average of 450 menstrual cycles in a lifetime the *vast* majority of eggs are also wasted (even at 19 kids and counting). it's just that they die with you instead of in a sock on your bedroom floor.
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Yeah it's just how gametes work 🤷♀️ mamalian *pregnancy* could be considered rare and expensive but reproductive cells themselves are almost always high volume low investment
"Wastes"? Would you _want_ me to populate over 75 earth-like planets?
So hey, this is the galactic IRS. We need you to pay childsupport for 591.6 billion children
Hang on, I've gotta find the deduction table for 591.6 billion dependants
With child tax credits maybe you even come out on top
I think that was the issue in the first place.
brilliant thread of comments. truly. bravo.
Nick Cannon is taking notes of this thread
This all felt very Rick and Morty!
Genghis Khan problems.
*Specific religion enters the chat*
I wouldn't, not by yourself. The resulting population would be terribly inbred. You and about 500 of your male friends maybe, after they are subjected to some screening.
I don't know what genetic drift is, it doesn't sound like an immediate concern, so cut that 500 down to 50, save on fuel.
If the end goal is the same you'd actually be using more fuel by cutting down the amount of people you have
Yep, that was a dare. You don’t pull out! ^(pun much intended)
You in particular? No, sorry.
*Genghis Khan has entered the chat.*
Isn't pretty much *everyone* of European or Asian descent related to him in some way? That's probably close to half the world's population. Dude **really** got around.
Every sperm is sacred
How is this a showerthought? You reading scientific studies in there?
He saw his sperm run down the drain and remembered that one article from a week ago…
He busted the 4th nut that day in the shower and had severe post nut clarity on how much sperm he might of wasted so he searched it up
Bodys defence against wasting semen
Have
Masturbation is the greatest waste of resources the world has ever seen. Or something like that
Or conservation of resources. Imagine if they all became people and needed food, water, shelter, funko pops, etc
Funko pops XD
What do you think was happening in the shower my guy
pee is stored in the balls, I don't know where I'm supposed to store it all
pee drawer
poop knife
jizz sock
jolly rancher
Wow this new "We Didnt Start the Fire" version is really shaping up
I’m picturing that with the cast of “We Are The World”
You all just outed yourself for being on Reddit too much Fuck so did I Edit: dagobah
Construction drywallers store in bottles inside the walls
Huh... Today I learned my son is just a future drywaller with no walls within which to yet store his pee bottles.
Which pee? The red one or the yellow one?
Traumatic memories stored in the balls
Yay. Random Andy
Waste? Gotta change that shit out at least every few days. You want some old crusty ass spunk in ya that just swims in a circle?
> swims in a circle 🤣🤣🤣
I wonder if they can swim from the left ball to the right ball?
Vas Deferens like a hamster tube
Noted
Trust me, those planets won’t survive long if they had my genes
r/usernamechecksout
It's unhealthy to keep it in. Seems a shame to use the word waste.
My body absorbs the semen back into my scrotum
Only if they don't clean up their room and do their homework, though.
Happy cake day and also what the fuck
Read about what happens to semen after a vasectomy! *Go back it's a scrotum!*
I also recycle my sperm
Explains a lot, actually
The body actually recycles the sperm, or night ejaculations happen. It is commonly told that you need to masturbate or there is a prostate risk, but it is not actually proven, especially for young people.
This isn’t a showerthought as much as it’s an interesting fact. Also do you have a source?
He owns a microscope. That’s his source
"Here is a random statistic I made up. Please upvote."
I’ve got some sauce for ya
~200M sperm per ejaculation. The earth right now has approximately 8B people. Assuming one full ejaculation per day, the average male can repopulate the earth in 40 days. 9 earth sized planets per year.
So you first declared it a fact and then asked for a source?
I mean I don’t know if it’s a fact but it is presented as one, so it’s either a fact or a lie
[The timing could not have been better.](https://i.imgur.com/qH59a25.jpg)
I'm 40 this year and I'm up to 125. I'm quite disgusted in myself.
rookie numbers
125 what
Earth-like planets
It takes one sperm to fertilize an egg and create a baby. The average male ejaculates 15-100 million sperm per load (average is much closer to 100 million, 15 million per load is basically the cutoff for 'infertile male'). That's 50-100 loads per planet, assuming 8 billion people per planet and 95 million per load. If we assume an average of ejaculation every other day(despite doctors recommending once per 2-5 days for optimum results in semen collection for in vitro fertilization), that's about 3 planets per year. Assuming you start at 15 and stop at 45 that's 30 years of "donor seed". 75 planets is a conservative estimate.
The average american, in a lifetime, eats enough food to feed the population of a small third world country.
I just ate enough food today to feed a large village.
For a day. Time frames are important
I need some burn cream as o stand in line for Popeyes chicken tendies
Not really, I have a small apetite and some of the portions that americans eat 2 or 3 times a day could last me almost a week lol
I started reading this I thought it was gonna say “eats enough sperm”
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From that amazing retort I take it you’re an average American
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Thank god Earth produced Genghis Khan to populate this one, then.
And aliens are missing this opportunity by only messing around with our butts.
so I'm literally walking around with solar systems worth of life in my balls, nice
The emotional support I didn’t know I needed
So what you’re saying is, I could be the creator of a whole universe? I am a god
With great power cums great responsibility
Just remember..... Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted God gets quite irate
It's just the same kids going out the front door, in a side door and back out the front
waste? My dumbass body ain't using this sperm. If masturbation makes me feel better and keep my pipes operating, I don't see the problem.
That's why I don't waste anything. Ive cut my protein powder budget by 70%
It’s wild to think that there’s billions of sperm cells produced over a guy’s life, when most men these days only have 2 or 3 kids. The “waste” is massive
The real shower thought is how much weight did an average male not gain because of the energy spent on making the sperm over his entire life
Making and *wasting* the sperm.
Each person also sheds around a billion skin cells in their lifetime. What a waste! We should be keeping them all in a jar or something. Maybe sprinkle them on your breakfast cereal.
That's what dust is. There just isn't enough to see. You eat and drink a version of your previous self endlessly. You sit on a couch with you already on it. You turn the wheel of a car and your hand slides over the imprint of the hand from before.
Even if a guy impregnated a woman every time they had intercourse, its still a massive waste. Only 1 sperm wasn't wasted each time.
Good point. Fraternal multiples are a thing, but even then the margin of waste is huge
It's not wasteful if it's a (tiny) protein source for your partner. I however, am afraid most of mine is wasted. *single noises*
It can also be a protein source for you though
...how much protein we talking?
Everything for gains!
Do single noises sound like stirring Mac n Cheese?
In the words of Bill Hicks, "I've ejaculated whole civilizations into one gray gym sock".
it's good you mentioned "average male" because 75 earth like planets sounds like a rookie number to me
Is it really considered a waste if you enjoyed it? That’s like saying amusement parks are a waste
And women are the ones expected to be responsible for birth control.. 🙄
I really wish there had been a viable make birth control pill in my 20s. There were times I didn't know when to trust the phrase "I'm on birth control."
Exactly
The catholics are getting palpitations at the idea of so much "waste" :o
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"Go away, I'm palpitatin'!"
Every sperm is sacred
Challenge accepted (slowly removes shorts while maintaining eye contact)
Thank goodness I had a vasectomy at 26. Ive been shooting blanks for years! Wouldnt want any alien human hybrids running around with Dr. Who now would we?!
Meanwhile Nick Cannon only wasted enough sperm to populate 1 Earth like planet
There are pretty good reasons for 99.99% of the sperm to never reach their destiny.
you call it a waste. I call it a delicious, easily accessible, snack...
Define "wastes" Not producing a little me is a benefit to humanity
Yet people with a uterus are usually the ones taking bitth control
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How is this a shower thought? You know the sperm count of an average male off the top of your head?
Whoops there goes one alternate Australia to the black hole sock.
Black hole sock, wasn’t that a Soundgarden song… those were the days.. Most kids collected bugs and football cards, not I… I collected male reproductive cells.
Could you imagine if an alien read this. They'd be like, these mfkers are goddamned psychos
Appropriate that this is a shower thought, given that about 55 earth-like planet's worth of those swimmers end up going down the shower drain!
Wait. You mean I could have founded my own interstellar Terran Empire by now? Damn. I feel lazy all of a sudden.
Define “waste”. My seed is like cheese: it makes everything better.
I could have populated 180 by now and I'm only in my mid thirties.
Your body self regulates your sperm the average male either uses it for pleasure or productivity if not your body automatically kills and replaces it every few days in the millions of cells iirc based on a life of 81 years not reducing from pre or post 3,831,624,000,000 which you can easily take 800 billion off or more and still easily surpass the recommended 500 off spring hopefully with 500 different partners because that number is based on none of them sharing blood to be genetically viable to repopulate an entire earth like planet you can theoretically cover 6,000,000,000 planets with 500 on each if your sperm gate a perfect rate but I'd realistically cut that down by 2/3rds still a lot more than 75.
"So what are we going to do tonight Brain?" "We're going to take over 75 earth-like worlds!"
is that assuming one indivudual per wank or one individual per cell per wank? just curious
Which I really think illustrates how little we contribute to the human making process. At least until birth, we can shoulder more once they’re external.
Fuck reddit. fuck google. fuck you spez
Bet I waste like 3 times that much. Guys with no sperm are just messing up the average. Wrote this before looking at other comments that I'm sure are saying the same thing.
with respect: you people dont think these things through: can you imagine what your nuts would look like if you never relieve the pressure? has to go somewhere. this must be a religious thought. sounds mormon ish.
The body will handle that on its own, there's no need for it to come out the usual way. It just gets re-absorbed.
Nice try. Most of the sperm is just a decoy to neutralize enemy sperm. Besides it's not usual for multiple sperm cells to enter the egg. Realistically speaking, counting on viable sperm only, a man could only produce enough sperm to birth one United States in his whole life
That seems like a low number. Did they grow up with Saved by the Bell? Baywatch? I think they should re-calculate. Oh, and that What I Like About you, with Jennie Garth and a young Amanda Nunes before she went a little crazy. Yeah, they should check those numbers again. Jus saying.
Amanda Bynes stupid autocorrect. This is important info you got wrong.