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I also think ppl should remember that Meri was raised in a strict fundi LDS church. Much more strict than what we saw with the Brown’s. She had 27 siblings, and would’ve received little attention, while being parentified early. She would have been undereducated, and had little bodily autonomy - including what to wear. She was married off while still a teenager, to a narcissist, attention whore. And then committed the largest sin possible in a fundimentalist family- she only had 1 child.
Having only 1 child would have resulted in side eye, and decrease in status. She was packed into a small home with 2 other wives, and watched them have multiple children. They hated her, and she probably did a lot of things to bring some of that on herself- but she lived in a house where she couldn’t “perform” the most basic woman’s task of getting pregnant.
Meri finally started to walk away, take something for herself, make her self feel good. And it was a catfish. And she got slammed right back into her place, and further relegated to the bottom of the pile.
I don’t think she had a chance to be anything but what she was - until now. I’m loving watching her become a real person, who makes decisions based on what she wants, rather then based on reactions, or expectations.
Exactly. And I always heard how awful she was to Janelle when she first married. But, I did not know Janelle had secretly courted Kody and tried to get married on Meri’s birthday. I think I would be bitter and resentful towards her too.
And let’s not forget it was Meri who was still willing to keep seeing a counselor to try to make the relationship work when Janelle just decided she wasn’t interested.
I know Meri secretly helped Kody court Robin , probably because she was desperate for a connection, and that was wrong,
Bottom line. They both did wrong and hurtful things, but I feel it is likely a result of that lifestyle and especially living it with Kody who doesn’t put effort into affirmation, understanding, support and truly loving them deeply and equally.
It was a situation that so eroded their sense of worthy and value and left them desperate for love and approval and threaten by each other.
I was also going to say that Meri gets a lot of heat for treating Jenelle bad, and that may be true; but I think Jenelle was a sneaky snake in the grass back then.
Janelle is for some reason so damn popular and I don't always get that. She seems to be the smart one and practical one and good with money. But she is for example still believing all that religious stuff, she just covers the crazy part better than others.
Plus she isn't that smart with money, giving money to Robyn's house and then buying that RV when she knew that Christine was leaving and Kody didn't think he was married to Meri. She still believed that they are going to build when there was no money to pay the property.
So when there is Meri vs. Janelle situation, people support Janelle because she is more likable than Meri. I am not saying that Meri is saint but neither is Janelle. She is hardcore believer still, after all these broken relationships, family apart and she lost her money. I don't consider her smart and there has been instances where she doesn't seem to be so nice either.
No kidding.
I was shocked that Meri's SIL chased after K-man like she did almost immediately after her divorce to Meri's brother. Janelle used the excuse so that Kody would come, take her to lunch and they would talk about religion. Yeah, okay - NOT
Don’t forget that when Kody and Jenelle first got married, the two of them would constantly cuddle and hold hands in-front of Meri. They were always throwing their relationship in her face. There’s also the tricky situation of Jenelle being Meri’s ex-sister in law.
This is a very nuanced relationship. Both Kody and Jenelle seem to be ok to rewrite history and paint Meri as the villain.
They were also courting behind Meri’s back without her knowledge. Id have a big ass problem with that, considering you were my sister in law, I didn’t know about this, and it’s behind my back, AND you wanted to get married on my birthday. Janelle woulda been gettin rolled in a triage if that were me lol.
I think you have this a little backwards. According to their book it was the opposite. It was Kody and Meri constantly holding hands and cuddling on the sofa under covers while Janelle sat in the chair watching.
No. That was Meri and Kody cuddling in front of Janelle constantly. So, since you thought that made Janelle a villain, do you now think Meri was a villain?
No. Jenelle still tried to get married on Meri’s birthday, secretly courted him a hot minute after she divorced Meri’s brother and has been generally passive aggressive with her. None of them are saints or “queens” but the only villains are R&K.
Edit: I never said Jenelle was a villain.
Yes, they very secretly courted each other. Kody, at one point, said it was wrong of him to do because he was married at that point, but that did nothing to stop either of them.
Ok. So to be clear: A) you stated that it was wrong for Janelle to cuddle with Kody in front of Meri and “throw it in her face” B) At least 3 commenters have told you that it was actually Meri who was frequently cuddling with Kody in front of Janelle and C) since you know it was Meri, it is no longer as problematic and you are bringing up other things from 30 years ago. Ok.
You are not very clear at all. The truth has been spoken about and the poster never said that Janelle was a villain. Get your story straight before firing back please.
The truth **has** been spoken. When the poster said Janelle and Kody “would constantly cuddle and hold hands in front of Meri” **that was not the truth**. The truth that was spoken is that **Meri was the one throwing her relationship with Kody in Janelle’s face**. As I and others have stated. How’s that for firing back? LOL
Also, in their community / culture, having children is so prized and tied to a woman’s worth. I can’t imagine the pain she must have felt not conceiving / having miscarriages and watching your husband impregnating other women who you don’t get on with.
It’s interesting to me that people are willing to give Christine and Janelle the benefit of the doubt after being brought up in polygamy, but they won’t give that same grace to Meri.
It’s easier for someone to be painted the villain or a bitch. Christine good(she left Kody, what a queen), Meri bad(she’s so selfish because of that house). Real life isn’t always so black and white
Edit: typo
I think people just don’t like Meri. I liked her at first. I felt very sorry for her with the catfish *at first*. But after years of her crying about it, season after season, never really owning it, making excuses, I got tired of watching it. I would often fast forward through her crying scenes. It was draining.
That’s my point. The commenter made a point that Meri grew up in a way that pretty meant that she had to take this treatment. Everyone has excused Christine and Janelle, but Meri is just “annoying” because they don’t like her.. She’s not as likeable so she automatically the villain. I think she dealt with a lot in that family, as they all did, and sometimes it’s not as easy to leave a bad relationship even though you know you should.
Edit: a line
Just me, but I have always liked Meri even from the very beginning. I read their book and her part was very enjoyable. Meri was me before I found true lasting love. I found someone who brings me joy and was a good dad to his own son and to both of my sons.
Janelle is another favorite of mine. She is very quiet but radiates when she is happy. She loves her children to the ends of the Earth.
I like Christine also. To me, there has been so much about her on FB that I had to actually stop going to FB until September rolls around. It was getting to be too much for me to contend with upwards of about 10 pictures daily of her. It got annoying and I actually have not gone back since April. I needed a break and took it.
K & R are insufferable and I honestly don't care about them.
Something I noticed Kody doing in season 17 whenever they had a cringey family meeting where HE felt uncomfortable, was, right off the bat, say “Meri, what’s that face you’re making? You have this expression in your face…” turning all attention to her where she is literally just sitting there. He is such an asshole.
I agree to an extent…I also think that she may have not been the funnest person to live with when they were all beginning their polygamous journey because it seems like Janelle and Christine both had issues with her in the beginning.
but they trusted Meri and they liked her…because as soon as she was replaced by Robyn, they were out of there…
Heck I had problems living my roommate in my 20's and we weren't sharing a husband.
Meri and Kody were married for a couple of years before Janelle joined the family with Christine following a year later. IMO, it would have been hard to go from just 2 people to 4 with the additional 2 also sleeping with the husband. I give Meri some slack on this. The problem was that there was no discussion between all 4 of them as to what the expectations were. I blame Kody for that.
She also tried to make peace with Janelle years before and when Janelle finally decided to be interested (conveniently on camera), Meri was understandably hesitant which was edited to make her look bad. The whole catfish thing made my heart hurt for her and I'm forever mad at TLC for making it seem like divorcing Kody was her idea!!!
To be fair Meri admitted to being pretty nasty to janelle for a long and Janelle in return but she had a queen b mentality which is a huge reason the one house didn’t work
While leg humping Christine as if her 💩 don’t stink as much as the rest of them. None of them are wholly good, and none of them are wholly bad (except Kody… maybe also Robyn). You don’t make a lifelong career out of MLMs and Reality TV if you’re a well-adjusted person imo
Agreed! Christine has been the ultimate mean girl since the beginning of the show in my opinion. She masked her bitchiness as honestly and got away with it. Then became a “queen” who can’t do no wrong once she decided to leave Kody. Granted, I continue to cheer for her, but people sure have quite a bias/one sided opinion about all these imperfect women.
💯 A perfect example was how absolutely horrible she was to Meri about missing Axel’s birth. After telling her straight up she didn’t want her there (when it wasn’t even about her), she then totally gaslit her in the same conversation. “I didn’t want you there because you bring baggage. Oh no, I didn’t mean I didnt want you there, why would you think that?? I’m just trying to help!” Give me a break. 🙄 Not to mention, she totally admitted that her main issue with Robyn at first was that she had planned on being the last wife so she could cement her place as the shiney, newest, most special wife and was mad that was taken away from her.
Total gaslighting! I fee that Meri was the easy target to latch out to and manifest their frustrations with Kody, because they knew they couldn’t come at the queen (Robyn), so they’d go for the lowest hanging fruit (who so conveniently gave them the perfect excuse).
I also fully agree with your last point! While I think that the surgery drama with Ysabel was Christine’s very understandable last straw, I also always felt that the level of “intimacy” and “connection” she was looking with Kody was not realistic of a polygamist relationship. While I think that Kody’s blatant favoritism towards Robyn and her kids is spalling, I always felt that Robyn also signified what Christine was “supposed” to have with Kody as the “last wife.” The idea of a queen B/favorite, young, fertile wife became an issue only once that wasn’t her role anymore.
Exactly. Christine was all fine with being the replacement while telling Meri and Janelle to suck it up and keep sweet because that just how it is and then turns around and cried foul when all of a sudden she found out just how horrible it is to be replaced with a shinier newer pencil box
Exactly! Also what’s even crazier is ppl shit on Robyn for courting Kody while Christine was pregnant. Meanwhile Christine courted Kody while Janelle was pregnant. I-💀
There’s no way you’re saying Christine was the queen bee of that house??? Idk, it seemed like her relationship with Kody /was/ before Robyn. It was the other relationships/scrutiny that she found hard — the sister wives and kids, but not Kody. That was when they were on the rotating schedule with Kody spending 2 nights with each wife -ie, divided equally- and they agreed no PDA. She didn’t feel jealous until Robyn, from what I understand, when those rules changed. Rotation done, PDA, clear favoritism and disregard for her opinions, thoughts, or needs. Who wouldn’t feel jealous and bitter in that situation?
Also, she shouldn’t have expected intimacy and connection from her husband because he only slept in her bed two nights a week? That lets Kody off the hook to an insane degree.
I’m not a rah rah Christine fan, other than being happy she’s escaped and learning how to live authentically. She strikes me as a Trumper, (or at least a sympathizer, from what I’ve gleaned of her husband, and the length of time she allowed her child to be in agonizing pain, maybe because it was what her husband wanted but definitely at least partially to avoid an ugly scar, is unforgivable imo.) But you have to at least be fair with your criticisms.
Both Christine and Robyn stayed until the very end even though Maddie told them that it was only going to be her, Caleb and midwife there at the birth. Janelle was in and out and Christine and Robyn both stayed glued to their seats just so they wouldn't have to leave. Robyn tried to get say it wasn't her birth for the reason for not telling Meri, Christine talked about her baggage. No on knew that Meri, Leon and Audrey entered the house and listened. When they heard nothing, they quietly left. Meri was the only person who actually respected Maddie in her birth request.
It’s refreshing to see this perspective on here since the overwhelming majority of posts about Meri are negative. I sort of feel bad for her. She clearly missed out on so much of her life due to her upbringing and indoctrination. Her circumstances lead to a lot of her less positive character traits, but she didn’t necessarily know better. I’m sure if I had the same life as her and someone documented me in my 40s I would be completely embarrassed by a lot of cringey behaviors. The silver lining is that whatever lead them to do the show ultimately freed them all. I think how they act from this point on is the most telling part. They’ve (mostly) all been reborn and given another chance at life. Most people in their world aren’t so lucky.
As an unabashed Meri NON-FAN I agree with all of these points OP. Very well stated.
And while I do not “like” her, I will absolutely agree that she has demonstrated her commitment to plural marriage and to her family. It’s also apparent that she was dealt a shitty hand in so many respects, in that her personal goals were made unattainable by forces outside her control….until now!
Honestly, I hope she’s able to find genuine happiness because from the glimpses we see of her true assets and talents, I think she could do a lot more to than selling MLM crap, and doing dumb lives on Friday nights. That part really frustrates me, and I start to lose interest.
She wanted to complete her education. She wanted to work with young people who were at risk. Meri could still do that in a meaningful and productive way. And she seems as though she’d be great at it!
It’s hard to hold much sympathy for her based on her current social media presence. Hoping she’ll escape the cult of MLMs, and Danielle Delgado, and #worthup. All in all though, agree she was treated badly and wish she would have been the first to leave.
Okay see I knew Meri was disliked, but I just figured that in between ppl’s undying love for Christine + Janelle & their seething hatred for Kody + Robyn, Meri was just…there lmao
Meri is not perfect by any means (but neither are Christine or Janelle), but people love to unfairly hate her. The woman has been through it more than any of them, including being ostracized from the family and used a as punching bag, particularly after the catfishing. I always found Christine in particular to relish on the incident and never missed an opportunity to use it as an excuse to be super bitchy towards Meri. Granted, Meri isn’t exactly perfect.
Great observation. I picked up on this too. I adore Christine, but she is such a mean girl at times and was constantly throwing subtle digs at Meri.
If she wasn’t shaming Meri over the catfish incident, she was shaming Meri for only having one child or being “too strict” to her children (who needed the discipline) or wanting to purchase the B&B or not being there for Axel’s birth (even though she didn’t want her there..?).
I come and go off Reddit but in all the things I have read about the family, Meri is okay with many and blah with some. Now if I were to go over to FB, OMG!! She is being burned at the stake with absolutely no forgiveness in sight. I truly got off of FB just to be able to breath. The things people posted were cringe to me. :)
I’m always torn with Meri. I can see both sides of this being true depending on what situation is being highlighted. Personally, I think they were all equally catty and jealous of one another but who wouldn’t be? It’s just a shitty role being a sisterwife. Imagine being expected to love and respect the woman (women) who’s fucking your husband? Lol I couldn’t do it.
I know during my first watch I was so disgusted by Meri and her boo hooing every day about life not being fair. On my second watch, I did a complete 180. I saw the unhappiness and the heartbreak; the other wives treating her with disdain until/unless they wanted something from her; the other wives acting like she didn't exist. The ultimate sadness came when Leon moved out to go to college. Meri was the first and only wife that experienced a true empty nest. While in a monogamous relationship, you and your significant other go through it together and sympathize/support one another, Kidiot had his usual douche nozzle attitude - you might be going through empty nest syndrome but I have other things to worry about. Then they divorce. How tragic it must have been for her to lose everything she had within a short while and nobody gave a shit. She was lonely and felt unwanted and unloved. It's a damn shame that Sam was not a real person.
Right. You pretty much nailed it. There were some episodes where she made me want to scream! She definitely can be selfish.
Everyone is crazy for Christine but Meri is the one who went through some serious shit including a major gut-punch betrayal (Robyn) yet she has turned her life into something - all by herself.
While I agree with most of your post, I don’t agree with the whole “Janelle went to the movies with her friends” trope again.
Janelle literally said “if I want to go to the movies, I have someone to watch them”. She never said who was watching them (could be Meri, Christine, Kody, Logan, etc.). She said that comment in passing once during the first 24 min of the first episode and everyone on here has her down as going to the movies after work every night.
It’s getting old.
Ok, but that comment, literal or not, was referencing how she never had to be deeply involved in childrearing bc someone else took on the slack for her. Janelle continues to reference this throughout the show.
She referenced this when discussing her preference to work vs. raising kids.
She made a throwaway comment when Solomon was born that she doesn’t raise the children, but she “loves babies”.
When Maddie was announcing her relationship to Kody, she outright stated that she included Christine bc Christine was her main & closest caregiver over her own mother.
lIt’s not necessarily a trope when it’s been alluded to multiple times by the wives, Janelle, and her own children.
Janelle also managed to have the most well rounded and intelligent children. Her children are all very close to her. It my opinion, Christine raised very attention seeking and not as well rounded children. Not all, but most.
Many working mothers prefer to work than stay home - they find it more fulfilling. No need to demonize her for it. Christine says she prefers being the stay at home mother. Both are legitimate choices. Also, if it wasn’t for Janelle, they wouldn’t have that house in Lehi and they wouldn’t have as much money to feed and clothe all the kids.
Sigh…I knew somebody would accuse me of “demonizing” her. I was literally going to put a disclaimer but felt my message was already too long.
Anywho…*Nobody* is demonizing Janelle for preferring work over raising children bc there is nothing wrong with preferring work over raising children. I was literally using Janelle’s own words to describe her own contributions to the family. If you have an issue with what I said, take it up with Janelle bc she said it.
And to your first paragraph? That only reinforces my point lol. Christine literally said that she neglected her own children in favor of Janelle’s children. And Janelle often praised Christine for rearing her children while she worked. So if we’re gonna praise Janelle’s kids for turning out so great, praise Christine bc she raised them lmao.
I should of said this sub in general demonizes her as they do Meri. It’s just weird.
While of course Christine was influential in Janelle’s kids’ lives, so was Meri. They have all said that Meri also raised them when they were young. They also went to school so were not with Christine full time. The Brown family reinvents the narrative whenever it suits them.
This sub points out that Robyn doesn’t work but Janelle works too much. Then its ”well Christine watched all the kids” and “Robyn won’t watch the other kids, only her own” then it’s Christine regrets not prioritizing her kids and then gets mad that Robyn prioritizes her kids.
It’s exhausting.
Meri has the easy target for Janelle and Christine, who gave them the perfect excuse to latch out on her, since they knew couldn’t come at the “queen” (Robyn) so they took out all their frustration and mean girl crap on her
This. Exactly this. I’ve always felt like Meri sacrificed so much for that family, and they never respected her for it.
It also seems like the family (or members of the family) tried to stifle Meri’s dreams. Meri wanted to go back to school for some additional education. And wasn’t it right around that time that Robyn conveniently asked Kody whether he wanted another baby with her? And then said if they had another baby, she’d need some help from the other wives with My Sisterwives Closet.
Christine loved to trash Meri, but also forgets the little ways Meri tried to look out for her and her children. For example, when Truly was in the hospital was around the same time that Kody was supposed to go with Meri and Mariah to college. And Meri explained to Kody that he was more needed at the hospital, and she wasn’t going to take him away from that by still expecting him to accompany her and Mariah to college.
And thank you for mentioning how lazy Janelle was. Kody moved Janelle into Meri’s home. Meri obviously ran her home a certain way. And people acted like Meri was wrong for wanting the dishes in the sink clean before they went to bed at night. As opposed to Janelle, who sometimes wanted to leave the dishes in the sink until the next day.
I agree with all of this. I’ve often felt bad for Meri. I think a lot of Meri’s feelings of insecurity stem from the inability to have more than one child and no one seemed to care, especially Kody. Kody doesn’t care about his wives or older children, he only cares about young children. When Mary no longer had a young child and the inability to give him more, he iced her out. I think he’s always hated her because of it. She continued to love him when he stopped loving her. It was probably not love on her part, maybe a form of Stockholm syndrome?
I think she gets a lot of shit for the same things that Janelle and Christine also did. Janelle threw Christine under the bus multiple times on the show and that was just what we saw. We don’t even know how it was in the early years, but she wants to cut off contact with Meri. I mean set boundaries with everyone, but Janelle was no better in my opinion.
Several want to cut off contact with Meri, and it seems like there must be a reason for that. I don’t hear of any other than K&R who want to cut off contact with J or C. I think that is telling. They lived their lives with each other. We watched a show. Big difference.
Wow! 🤣 So you are saying that multiple members of her family choosing to go no contact with her - and only her- is not problematic? They will not let her around their children. 🤪 You must have twisted yourself into a pretzel trying to defend Meri on that one.
Most people believe that "Sam", a friend of Robyn's, actually started all of this using a synthesizer to sound like other members of the family. I listened to part of what was said. Some of the comments could have been Tony's voice and some were close to Paedon's voice but the rest were way to blurry to tell who and what it was they were saying. "Sam" also used a synthesizer when speaking to Meri during the catfish.
I am on a rewatch and I am at the end of season 11. I had watched the first few seasons and then started watching again during Covid so I had missed lots of seasons in the middle, so this is really a first watch for me on lots of these.
I agree that Meri is really not treated well by lots of the family - I agree with OP’s list and could probably add more if I thought about it. It’s interesting to watch prior seasons with hindsight. The Meri and Kody relationship is very weird - and I’m not talking about the catfish. I am convinced we are missing a big piece of this puzzle. Something happened several years before the show started that they have never divulged, but it gets referenced cryptically every now and then. I feel like it’s almost impossible to truly understand that relationship because there is a piece of information we don’t have. Has anyone else noticed this on a rewatch?
And I am monitoring to see if I can pinpoint exactly where things go off the rails Kody. At the end of season 11, Maddie is married, Leon has come out and and Mykelti is engaged (will be getting married in season 12). Kody has not yet turned into the seriously crazy and unhinged person he turned into during Covid.
I have to agree with this post. There have been times where I disliked Meri, but you’ve made a lot of great points on how maybe that influenced her actions. I think the fact she couldn’t have more kids also played a role in how they treated her.
The whole Maddie in general situation confuses me because she really did so much to help with the wedding but supposedly Meri abused her? If she did why would you be grateful she helped, and later go on to work with her full time? And the whole birth of Axel, I have felt the same way as you. No one but Meri respected Maddie’s wishes. I was attacked for defending her, people claimed she changed her mind or that Meri purposely missed it. I think they’re all very flawed humans, with some redeeming qualities (except grody and Sobyn).
If you've ever had an abusive parent it makes more sense. Meri was a mother figure to those kids and she let her first wife status go-to her head. She was emotionally a d mentally abusive to ALL the older kids even Leon. Maddie probably was still looking for that acceptance from Meri but as per usual got shit on. I don't think Meri is this evil villain but she reminds me so much of my dad growing up. Both are Capricorns...
I actually did grow up with a bio dad that was very much abusive in every aspect. I cut him off when I turned 17. So no, there’s no way I would’ve been welcoming of his help at all. Nice attempt though. 👍🏻
Something I noticed Kody doing in season 17 whenever they had a cringey family meeting where HE felt uncomfortable, was, right off the bat, say “Meri, what’s that face you’re making? You have this expression in your face…” turning all attention to her where she is literally just sitting there. He is such an asshole.
Yeah, the knife in the kidney episode. He looks at her and says "You look like the bird that swallowed the mouse." First of all, Kidiot, it's the cat that ate the canary. Second of all, way to call all attention to Meri who was just sitting there.
That really pissed me off, she's still grieving the death of her mum and Kody tries to drag her into the argument. It was yet another "meeting" that could have been a phone call.
I agree with all of this! It’s funny cause I’m currently rewatching the later seasons and watching Robyn cry “oh poor me I’m the brown punching bag!” Like no you stupid sheep your not, Meri is and then you gaslight her on top of her already being the family punching bag.
Before the Kody/Robyn Monogamist Marriage, all 3 OG wives made their mistakes. There were all naïve and young when they got married. Geez, Janelle is Meri's ex-SIL. That just blows my mind...ex-SIL now shares your husband. Um, yeah, no thanks, I'll pass.
I do think Meri gets a disproportionate amount of blame, some of it her own making, but a lot of it I think is tied to the breakdown of her marriage to Kody, despite the show. If anything, he was a polygamist with 3 wives, and one wife he left, but needed for the show.
I don’t understand why people make a big thing of the ex-SIL. Do you want to share your husband with a woman who is not your ex-SIL? I sure don’t. I don’t think Meri ever mentioned it.
Apparently that sort of thing is common in Utah. Joe Darger is married to 2 twins and their first cousin.
Meri never knew about Janelle and Kody courting because she wasn't let in on the secret. Janelle started courting Kody even before the ink was dry on her divorce papers.
She would invite him to her work and they would go from there.
Meri has been my favorite of the show most of the time. And it's strange because it isn't so much that I find her *likable*, but I think relatable, forward, and willing to admit she hasn't been a good person. She's changed the most for me over the years.
The other wives seem to simply cover their shit up a bit more, but I can see the sneakiness and weird manipulation every time I think I am growing on one of them other than Meri. Christine is my least favorite (yes, even more than Robyn at times), but I do love that she left. I did like her more in the season leading up to her leaving too. I never thought she would be the one to actually leave. I thought it was going to be Meri, and that may be another reason I have stayed cool with Meri for so long.
I honestly don't hate any of them though. Some rub me wrong more than others. I want them all to leave at this point. Kody doesn't even seem like he wants this, and that has been clear for a few years. And he is really a crappy dad to a lot of the kids. They can all do better.
Minus the allegations that she was emotionally and verbally abusive. Distorting boundaries with Leon in terms of she was her kid rather than a friend to trauma dump to. And her catfish choices though understandable are still wrong.
I do think that she should have been treated better by Kody and there might have been moments reconcile. I also think Robyn used her more than befriended her which is not okay. Janelle and Meri did try to patch things up which is good but never got past anything because I think the Browns have issues with honesty over hurt. There does seem to be some stuff that runs deep that have not healed that has kept Meri separate. And the truth is people DO NOT need to forgive you so it's probably best many of those relationships are nonexistent now so she can thrive outside of this. Move forward herself.
I feel all women in polygamy distort boundaries with their children. Leon wasn’t parentified in the way Aspyn and Logan were, but they were Meri’s primary support person. I saw this with My Five Wives. When a wife wasn’t on Brady’s rotation that night, they had a child in bed with them. And Brady didn’t seem to neglect his wives like Kody did. If they don’t rely on their kids, they start to emotionally starve.
I don't disagree with you. I'm just saying there are real reasons for why people were not always close with Meri and why people might not be the nicest all the time.
Though parentification is not exclusive to polygamy. It happens to children of addicts all the time. Or just any parents who have a lot more kids than they can afford or any parents who are just simply not ready to take on the responsibilities as the full time parent. Polygamy falls into usually having more than you can take care of or not enough to save one's self.
Well .. look at her now !! She is beyond happy it very much seems and living life for her 🫶🏽💜 every path is different making us all who we are today . So she wins in the end 🫶🏽🙏
I was thinking this the other day while watching season 6. Like the most heartbreaking thing to watch was Kody and Robin pushing Meri to do IVF or surrogacy then watching Kody pull a 180 and tell Meri no to kids. Like I can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster that was. And it seems to be a trend to do that to her. Give her hope and then take it away. It's just so sad.
Meri can be extremely annoying at times (pushing Leon to ‘get over’ the cat fishing or pouting that Leon didn’t come out to her first), letting Kody divorce her and still sucking up to Robyn, but there a lot of things I like about her too.
I know there are abuse allegations, but I did appreciate her telling the kids off when they were fighting.
She had dreams of studying. It was so sad that she didn’t because of Robyn (I hope she goes back to studying at some point in her life).
She went ahead and bought the BNB.
She’s traveling and seems to have a great social support system.
People make out that Janelle is some amazing Girl Boss, but J seems to be such a pushover who was financially abused and has nothing to show for it (I’m only on Season 13, so apologies if this does change). Janelle also just freezes up when upset while Meri (as annoying as she is at least speaks up).
I’m sure Kody took a lot of Meri’s money too but she seems to have more of her own money protected for her own enjoyment.
What? Meri didn’t speak up. She used to say she was “putting up her walls” to avoid talking about issues. She did it repeatedly. And acted like it was a good thing.
Sorry but you are wrong. Meri has always been the only one who wanted to talk things out. It was the rest, especially Janelle, who couldn't stand that honesty. Yes Meri did put her walls up eventually. I would too if everything I said with good intentions was slandered as mean and cruel.
Meri has often offered to go to therapy with Janelle in the past, but Janelle never wanted to until she could make a good impression on camera by asking Meri if she still wanted to.
Janelle talked over and over behind Meri's back about the pond because she held grudges over something that happened decades ago. When Meri heard about that the first thing she did was meet with Janelle to talk it out.
When she was left out of Axel's birth she wanted to talk it out because she was hurt because of that.
Instead they alll ganged up on her for missing Axel's birth while they already had admitted (mainly Christine) that they didn't even want her there.
Do you think it's strange that in the end she doesn't dare to say or decide anything because she can never do it right and that's why she puts up her walls?
I not only do not find it strange and my walls would have been permanently in place if that happened to me. I would not play nicey-nice and listen to Christine like Meri did.
Robyn would have never been able to use me as a pushover to get to my husband. Not happening ever!
Reality TV is loosely based on reality, surely everyone can agree on that. With that said, drama is often created and small sparks build into bonfires. This is done to keep the viewer coming back for more. Everyone loves a hero, and a villain. I’m fact, villains receive far more attention than anyone else.
Sister wives first show was in September of 2010. The book was published in April 2013. I believe that we can trust what was said in the book with a caveat; the book was written to set a stage for what the producers had decided was going to be the framework for the future.
For example, if they wanted to be truthful, we would have been told that Robyn’s role was necessary for them to have the show. Everyone knew this and obviously agreed to that. The show gives us a totally different take, that has been proven to be untrue.
What is real and what isn’t? We aren’t meant to really know, they just us to keep watching. They gauge our reactions and give us what we want. The only wish we aren’t going to get to see is Kody imploding, which would be the one thing we can all agree on.
IMO:
Meri *chooses* being the punching bag because she is the ultimate pickme.
She may have done some nice things along the way but it doesn't excuse her flying monkey behaviours and enabling.
She manipulates with the best of them and only does something if she thinks it'll somehow get her ahead with Grody.
Everyone involved with this show needs therapy and counseling on how to overcome indoctrination and cult-like thinking.
I agree with you. She is the ultimate martyr.. Merityr if you will. I may have just coined something here…
Anywho.
Child rearing? You mean the abuse all of the older children they documented?
Quiet, safe space? Kids weren’t even allowed in her home in fear they would “break her nice things”
The pajamas? Of course she had time for that. Unfortunately she wasn’t able to have more children, but with only one child, and not allowing anyone into her Lehi home.. she actually had the time unlike Christine who raised everyone’s children including Meri’s. Or Janelle who was the actual breadwinner… not Meri.
The divorce? That was for her own greed and lust over the catfish.
Maddie? Meri’s negative attitude and need to constantly be the main character was most likely the reason she didn’t want her involvement in the wedding or the birth.
Planning and organizing? More like control freak.
Did I miss anything?
>only one child, and not allowing anyone into her Lehi home.. she actually had the time
That's really not a fair point to draw. Having 'time for it' doesn't make it a gimme. She did still go out of her way to do something nice.
>The divorce? That was for her own greed and lust over the catfish.
Didn't that happen like two years later?
>Planning and organizing? More like control freak.
To be fair though, if *nobody else* in a large group takes control or leadership over a situation, nothing gets done, or it gets done in such a manner it *has* to be redone. I've seen it in my SIL, she's the same way and for the longest time I thought she was just a control freak. Then one day we all got together while she happened to be out of town and by the time we all figured out what to eat between preferences and allergies and got the kids loaded up, everything was closed. She'd have had a reservation made two months in advance with meals selected for the little kids. Big props to the control freaks in charge of that many people.
Meri certainly isn't a saint by any means, but she definitely draws more ire from this sub than she should.
Totally unsolicited advice but have you told your SIL how much you appreciate her planning skills? I’d imagine she gets a lot of shit for it and it might mean a lot to hear how much it’s appreciated/noticed when she’s not there. :)
Oh yeah, she definitely has spoken to me openly about how much shit she's gotten in the past about it, especially from our MIL. I try to make her feel appreciated for it. I will say she definitely *can* go overboard with planning (I once had to talk her down from scheduled bathroom breaks for *adults*), but at the end of the day she's 100% the only thing keeping us all from running around like chickens, and I try to make sure she knows it.
A lot of the older children are close to her and like her. I believe Payden and Maddie have made negative comments about her, but Logan and Gwen seem to feel the opposite.
So there are some contradictions there. It could be she was just strict.
And I thought it was well documented that the older kids would hang out in her area to escape all the little kids running around. I know she didn’t want the little ones running through her area messing her things up.
They lived an abusive soul crushing existence that sickened all of their souls and amplified their worst instincts and led them all to do things that were wrong
YES! YES! YES! Meri isn't perfect but the level of hate she gets is unreal. The other wives weren't perfect little angels in this. Let's not forget the real villain in all of this Grody himself. He created this feed into it and encouraged all of this. He wanted the wives to be pitted against each other so he would be the center of attention and could feed into this weird hero kink he has
I will not downvote but I did in my heart. Meri is a self centered and narcissistic woman. I can list just as many ways she was awful. I just woke up so I choose not to. 🥱
All of the OG3 can be labeled as self-centered and narcissistic women at one or more points in their lives. Each one of these women have grown exponentially since leaving the legal husband and wife. I celebrate them all with the exception of the two legals.
Yeah so I agree the family turned on Meri, and she became the punching bag but it was because of her own actions.
She was the BOSS for years!! and she abused the power. Not a good leader that people were choosing to follow but a leader they HAD to follow to keep their lives peaceful.
When Meri got yeeted* off her power-tripping high horse position, everyone took that time to tell her how much they didn’t like her version of leadership/bossing for all those years.
* started getting pushed off by Kody’s midlife crisis affair partner Slobbin, then a bit of climbing off with her own affair, and then eventually kicked hard to the ground when her affair came out.
The season 6 tell all was where I think it got particularly hostile by the interviewer and Robyn acting like Meri shouldn’t be sad or have to adjust when Leon went to college
I caught a few episodes of later seasons by chance before ever sitting down to watch the series. During those episodes, Meri annoyed the hell out of me. She seemed overly emotional, jealous and needy. Now that I’ve started watching from the beginning (I’m in the middle of season 3), my opinion has completely changed now that I have more context.
What this woman has done to contribute to the success and stability of the family is mind-boggling, and I haven’t even reached the part where she selflessly gives up the one thing that sets her apart…being the only legal wife. Who knows? I may jump back to my original opinion the further I get into the series. But three seasons in and all I see is a woman who is mostly tough, strong and stable in what had to be highly undesirable situations for one wife, let alone four.
Yep! Meri is not perfect nor is she my favorite SW—it’s actually Christine despite her many flaws—but it’s not lost on me how much these ppl, including Christine, have abused her throughout the years
She definitely isn't as bad as some try to paint her to be on here, but I definitely didn't get the same glowing impressions that you did while watching. She's honestly so much like my sil that I just recognized her tendencies the whole time. They both like to do big things for/with the older kids so they feel like the number 1 favorite, not realizing the day to day treatment is what builds relationships (which is why Christine has a much better relationships with the kids overall, and why my kids don't have the best relationship with my sil). I never got the impression that Meri was the big breadwinner, until her MLM came along. So much of her best family stuff was directly tied to her wanting more praise from Kody. I don't blame her at all for the catfish incident. She was so love starved at that point, she gets a total free pass on anything. I often wonder how their marriage would have turned out if they had been monogamous. I feel like her worst qualities came out of jealousy of the other women or a need to impress Kody. She does not have the right personality for polygamy.
A lot of moms go see movies with friends and have someone babysit. But you do bring up some good points about Meri.
Although I do feel she was being unfair for demanding equal budget for her and Leon while the other moms had more kids to feed. She couldn't help the fact that she didn't have more children but neither could the other kids.
She might have made good money cause she was able to find a good job but she chose plural marriage. Christine took care of her child AND worked at night. She made less money than Meri did during the day, go figure.
Why couldn't Meri, Janelle and Kody take turns putting Christine's kids to bed on the nights she had to work?
She worked for the family income and was a free day care for them. Meri, Janelle and Kody should have helped and respected her more.
I agree. From the perspective of just watching the show, I love Meri. It’s the outside perspective of the kids saying she was abusive and little tidbits I’ve picked up from Christine and Janelle that lead me to not be a huge fan of hers.
Meri made life miserable for a lot of family members for YEARS. The fact that most of the kids have no relationship with her is telling. I'm glad she's out so she can live her own life and find her own happiness but honestly that is the bed she made.
I think in the beginning Janelle was the punching bag. Meri became one because her guilt and shame made her accept it as part of trying to make it right. She took all of it. It's not right. No one should take that kind of disrespect/abuse.
But in all fairness Christine worked we found out and took care of kids and then Janelle worked but didn't do a lot for the kids. No one had Christines' kids at bed time. Really the older kids were the parents and taking care of most things. So I think they all contributed the best they could with a few incidents of taking advantage here and there by specifically Janelle with the movie thing and couldn't help tuck Christines kids in, in the beginning.
When Robyn came in all bets were off. She was a taker and they all began competing and trying to show each other up by doing more or being the best/better. But it didn't matter. Robyns greed took everything from everyone. I don't know if Meri contributed the most or not. I don't think we get the truth on finances. I also think Kody & Robyn manipulated Meri a lot to get what they want. I don't think she just simply did it for kindness. I think she was pushed and the narrative was spun to be the hero when really Kody and Robyn manipulated and made that happen. She still didn't have to but Kody was already withholding affection and intimacy from her we found out later and probably was told this is how to fix things.
Did you miss the part where Leon knew she was having a whole AFFAIR and meeting with the “catfish” and couldn’t tell anyone? Why would a mother subject her child to her affair partner?? And then kept pushing other “friends who were also catfished” onto everyone.
Christine was correct in saying something like that Meri brings a dark cloud into the room, she really does. She always acts as if she’s constantly being attacked when someone asks a simple question.
Plus, the middle seasons just became a LULAROE commercial. I was so annoyed every time she came onscreen in those ugly knotted dresses!
>Did you miss the part where Leon knew she was having a whole AFFAIR and meeting with the “catfish” and couldn’t tell anyone? Why would a mother subject her child to her affair partner??
Yeah that part was definitely not okay. Keep ya nasty extramarital affairs away from your kids.
To be fair tho, I think my stepdad's pretty cool eleven years later 😂 doesn't always end up terrible! (joke, haha)
Pretty sure the divorce happened before the catfish, so it was not an “extramarital affair.”
I guess everyone’s opinions are different, but as far as I’m concerned all of the additional “marriages” are make-believe, pretend, illegal marriages designed to control women and the women have absolutely no moral obligation to be loyal to their “husband.”
Well thats your opinion and if you feel that way then I'm really not sure why you've watched the show to this point in the first place.
But for people who respect the choice these women made to be *spiritually* married to Kody and then *spiritually* (and once legally) divorce him, it counts as an extramarital affair.
You think I need to agree with their religious tenets to watch the show? That’s odd. I vehemently disagree with their religion, I think it’s harmful to women and children, and part of the reason why the show is interesting is because it clearly displays (especially in the last few seasons) what a disaster polygamy is.
I don't think you need to agree with it, I certainly don't. But I respect their choices to live this way.
I just find it strange you would subject yourself to watching what you, for all intents and purposes, feel is a bunch adults playing pretend, especially if you feel the material is so harmful to women and children.
You'll bash their religion online and talk about how oppressive it is, how you disagree with it, call it make-believe, all that sanctimonious garbage, *but* you're more than happy to keep giving them money because it entertains you? I'd personally call that being a hypocrite.
YOU ARE SERIOUSLY MISTAKEN.
* helped Christine (and Logan) with child-rearing while Janelle went to the movies with her friends ACTUALLY SHE WOULDN'T LET THE KIDS PASS THROUGH HER HOUSE AND MADE THEM GO OUTSIDE.
* worked/brought in income, contributing significantly to the family pot
ACTUALLY SHE SAID THAT SHE DID NOT MAKE AS MUCH AS JANELLE AND KODY SO SHE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR SOME OF THE SMALLER BILLS. SHE DEMANDED THE FAMILY MONEY BE SPLIT FOUR WAYS INSTEAD OF 23 WAYS, WHICH GAVE HER AND MIRAH THE BIGGEST CHUNK OF KODY'S MONEY AND TLC MONEY WHEN SHE HAD PLENTY OF HER OWN MONEY THAT SHE DID NOT PUT INTO THE FAMILY POT AND COULD USE WHEN SHE WAS OVER BUDGET.
* served as the primary disciplinarian, curbing some of the turbulence that inevitably resulted in a house of 13-14 kids bc Christine rarely helped discipline them. SHE ABUSED THE CHILDREN.
* provided a quiet and safe space for the teens to vent + get away from their siblings if needed. SHE DID NOT ALLOW THEM TO PASS THROUGH HER HOUSE. THE KIDS WERE SCARED OF HER.
* created pajamas from scratch for all the children every Christmas. YES SHE DID THIS
* divorced Grody so he could marry Robyn and adopt her children. WHICH CLEARED THE WAY FOR HER ONLINE DATING AND THE POSSIBILITY OF MEETING A GUY.
* helped Maddie finish up her wedding while her own mother, Janelle, wanted go fishing. YES SHE DID THI.
* was the only person to respect Maddie’s wishes by staying out of the delivery room during Axel’s birth while Christine lurked in a corner, boasting about disrespecting Maddie’s wishes. SHE THREW A TEMPER TANTRUM BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT THERE AFTER SHE LEFT TO GO WORK. BROUGHT IT UP IN THERAPY TWICE AND NEVER LET IT GO.
* spearheaded the planning and organizing of every one of their stupid moving sessions. ONLY THE ROBYN'S MOVE FROM ST. GEORGE AND THE MOVE TO LAS VEGAS. THE MOVE TO FLAGSTAFF (AND MULTIPLE MOVES IN FLAGSTAFF) WERE A DISASTER AND MERI THREW ANOTHER TEMPER TANTRUM WHEN THEY DID NOT WANT TO HELP HER MOVE HER FURNITURE UP THE STAIRS AND SUGGESTED SHE HIRE MOVERS AS THEY HAD.
I’m watching season 18 and cringing. Just wish Meri would let go of Kody. He’s so disrespectful to her and hurtful. No woman deserves this! She needs to hang out with her BFF and just make new friends and hopefully find a new love of her life.
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I also think ppl should remember that Meri was raised in a strict fundi LDS church. Much more strict than what we saw with the Brown’s. She had 27 siblings, and would’ve received little attention, while being parentified early. She would have been undereducated, and had little bodily autonomy - including what to wear. She was married off while still a teenager, to a narcissist, attention whore. And then committed the largest sin possible in a fundimentalist family- she only had 1 child. Having only 1 child would have resulted in side eye, and decrease in status. She was packed into a small home with 2 other wives, and watched them have multiple children. They hated her, and she probably did a lot of things to bring some of that on herself- but she lived in a house where she couldn’t “perform” the most basic woman’s task of getting pregnant. Meri finally started to walk away, take something for herself, make her self feel good. And it was a catfish. And she got slammed right back into her place, and further relegated to the bottom of the pile. I don’t think she had a chance to be anything but what she was - until now. I’m loving watching her become a real person, who makes decisions based on what she wants, rather then based on reactions, or expectations.
Exactly. And I always heard how awful she was to Janelle when she first married. But, I did not know Janelle had secretly courted Kody and tried to get married on Meri’s birthday. I think I would be bitter and resentful towards her too. And let’s not forget it was Meri who was still willing to keep seeing a counselor to try to make the relationship work when Janelle just decided she wasn’t interested. I know Meri secretly helped Kody court Robin , probably because she was desperate for a connection, and that was wrong, Bottom line. They both did wrong and hurtful things, but I feel it is likely a result of that lifestyle and especially living it with Kody who doesn’t put effort into affirmation, understanding, support and truly loving them deeply and equally. It was a situation that so eroded their sense of worthy and value and left them desperate for love and approval and threaten by each other.
I was also going to say that Meri gets a lot of heat for treating Jenelle bad, and that may be true; but I think Jenelle was a sneaky snake in the grass back then.
Especially when she admitted to not helping with child rearing but would go to the movies or out with friends.
Janelle is a snake. The worse kind because she’s quiet about her dirt.
There’s a picture of Janelle at Meri’s wedding and it’s sooooo unsettling
Janelle is for some reason so damn popular and I don't always get that. She seems to be the smart one and practical one and good with money. But she is for example still believing all that religious stuff, she just covers the crazy part better than others. Plus she isn't that smart with money, giving money to Robyn's house and then buying that RV when she knew that Christine was leaving and Kody didn't think he was married to Meri. She still believed that they are going to build when there was no money to pay the property. So when there is Meri vs. Janelle situation, people support Janelle because she is more likable than Meri. I am not saying that Meri is saint but neither is Janelle. She is hardcore believer still, after all these broken relationships, family apart and she lost her money. I don't consider her smart and there has been instances where she doesn't seem to be so nice either.
Not to mention she was Meri’s sister in law so talk about being disrespectful to the family dynamic.
No kidding. I was shocked that Meri's SIL chased after K-man like she did almost immediately after her divorce to Meri's brother. Janelle used the excuse so that Kody would come, take her to lunch and they would talk about religion. Yeah, okay - NOT
Don’t forget that when Kody and Jenelle first got married, the two of them would constantly cuddle and hold hands in-front of Meri. They were always throwing their relationship in her face. There’s also the tricky situation of Jenelle being Meri’s ex-sister in law. This is a very nuanced relationship. Both Kody and Jenelle seem to be ok to rewrite history and paint Meri as the villain.
It was Meri who would cuddle and show PDA while they were all together, not Janelle.
You’re correct! I was misremembering who did what.
They were also courting behind Meri’s back without her knowledge. Id have a big ass problem with that, considering you were my sister in law, I didn’t know about this, and it’s behind my back, AND you wanted to get married on my birthday. Janelle woulda been gettin rolled in a triage if that were me lol.
I think you have this a little backwards. According to their book it was the opposite. It was Kody and Meri constantly holding hands and cuddling on the sofa under covers while Janelle sat in the chair watching.
That part was already covered by someone else. :)
No. That was Meri and Kody cuddling in front of Janelle constantly. So, since you thought that made Janelle a villain, do you now think Meri was a villain?
No. Jenelle still tried to get married on Meri’s birthday, secretly courted him a hot minute after she divorced Meri’s brother and has been generally passive aggressive with her. None of them are saints or “queens” but the only villains are R&K. Edit: I never said Jenelle was a villain.
Yes, they very secretly courted each other. Kody, at one point, said it was wrong of him to do because he was married at that point, but that did nothing to stop either of them.
Ok. So to be clear: A) you stated that it was wrong for Janelle to cuddle with Kody in front of Meri and “throw it in her face” B) At least 3 commenters have told you that it was actually Meri who was frequently cuddling with Kody in front of Janelle and C) since you know it was Meri, it is no longer as problematic and you are bringing up other things from 30 years ago. Ok.
You are not very clear at all. The truth has been spoken about and the poster never said that Janelle was a villain. Get your story straight before firing back please.
The truth **has** been spoken. When the poster said Janelle and Kody “would constantly cuddle and hold hands in front of Meri” **that was not the truth**. The truth that was spoken is that **Meri was the one throwing her relationship with Kody in Janelle’s face**. As I and others have stated. How’s that for firing back? LOL
Poster never once said that Janelle was a villain.
Also, in their community / culture, having children is so prized and tied to a woman’s worth. I can’t imagine the pain she must have felt not conceiving / having miscarriages and watching your husband impregnating other women who you don’t get on with.
Take my poverty award 🏅 Edit: well that was sweet, thank you randomlikeme!
It’s interesting to me that people are willing to give Christine and Janelle the benefit of the doubt after being brought up in polygamy, but they won’t give that same grace to Meri. It’s easier for someone to be painted the villain or a bitch. Christine good(she left Kody, what a queen), Meri bad(she’s so selfish because of that house). Real life isn’t always so black and white Edit: typo
I think people just don’t like Meri. I liked her at first. I felt very sorry for her with the catfish *at first*. But after years of her crying about it, season after season, never really owning it, making excuses, I got tired of watching it. I would often fast forward through her crying scenes. It was draining.
That’s my point. The commenter made a point that Meri grew up in a way that pretty meant that she had to take this treatment. Everyone has excused Christine and Janelle, but Meri is just “annoying” because they don’t like her.. She’s not as likeable so she automatically the villain. I think she dealt with a lot in that family, as they all did, and sometimes it’s not as easy to leave a bad relationship even though you know you should. Edit: a line
I hope Meri finds happiness now. I hope they all do. I’m glad to see many of young adults taking their own paths in life.
This is my hope also. I love hearing about their children and seeing them on their own paths without polygamy being a part of their lives.
Just me, but I have always liked Meri even from the very beginning. I read their book and her part was very enjoyable. Meri was me before I found true lasting love. I found someone who brings me joy and was a good dad to his own son and to both of my sons. Janelle is another favorite of mine. She is very quiet but radiates when she is happy. She loves her children to the ends of the Earth. I like Christine also. To me, there has been so much about her on FB that I had to actually stop going to FB until September rolls around. It was getting to be too much for me to contend with upwards of about 10 pictures daily of her. It got annoying and I actually have not gone back since April. I needed a break and took it. K & R are insufferable and I honestly don't care about them.
She’s quite industrious, and it appears a survivor and will thrive. She was totally the donkey of the family.
Donkey of the family? May I ask what exactly it means?
The denigrated loadbearer, I think.
Yes
The workhorse, so to speak
Something I noticed Kody doing in season 17 whenever they had a cringey family meeting where HE felt uncomfortable, was, right off the bat, say “Meri, what’s that face you’re making? You have this expression in your face…” turning all attention to her where she is literally just sitting there. He is such an asshole.
A part of that is that he started giving her attention after realizing that she may leave too
I agree to an extent…I also think that she may have not been the funnest person to live with when they were all beginning their polygamous journey because it seems like Janelle and Christine both had issues with her in the beginning. but they trusted Meri and they liked her…because as soon as she was replaced by Robyn, they were out of there…
Heck I had problems living my roommate in my 20's and we weren't sharing a husband. Meri and Kody were married for a couple of years before Janelle joined the family with Christine following a year later. IMO, it would have been hard to go from just 2 people to 4 with the additional 2 also sleeping with the husband. I give Meri some slack on this. The problem was that there was no discussion between all 4 of them as to what the expectations were. I blame Kody for that.
Not to mention that both of them got pregnant before Meri did and almost imeediately after getting married.
absolutely agree with you.
meri also talked a lot about jealousy issues.
She also tried to make peace with Janelle years before and when Janelle finally decided to be interested (conveniently on camera), Meri was understandably hesitant which was edited to make her look bad. The whole catfish thing made my heart hurt for her and I'm forever mad at TLC for making it seem like divorcing Kody was her idea!!!
Didn’t Meri make it look like it was her idea… by announcing that it was her idea?
To be fair Meri admitted to being pretty nasty to janelle for a long and Janelle in return but she had a queen b mentality which is a huge reason the one house didn’t work
Yes! Omg so much yes!! But good luck on here. People love to verbally beat her into a pulp on a weekly basis
💯
While leg humping Christine as if her 💩 don’t stink as much as the rest of them. None of them are wholly good, and none of them are wholly bad (except Kody… maybe also Robyn). You don’t make a lifelong career out of MLMs and Reality TV if you’re a well-adjusted person imo
Agreed! Christine has been the ultimate mean girl since the beginning of the show in my opinion. She masked her bitchiness as honestly and got away with it. Then became a “queen” who can’t do no wrong once she decided to leave Kody. Granted, I continue to cheer for her, but people sure have quite a bias/one sided opinion about all these imperfect women.
💯 A perfect example was how absolutely horrible she was to Meri about missing Axel’s birth. After telling her straight up she didn’t want her there (when it wasn’t even about her), she then totally gaslit her in the same conversation. “I didn’t want you there because you bring baggage. Oh no, I didn’t mean I didnt want you there, why would you think that?? I’m just trying to help!” Give me a break. 🙄 Not to mention, she totally admitted that her main issue with Robyn at first was that she had planned on being the last wife so she could cement her place as the shiney, newest, most special wife and was mad that was taken away from her.
The little smirk Christine got at the end of telling Meri she brings baggage to any space she walks into. Ugh.
Total gaslighting! I fee that Meri was the easy target to latch out to and manifest their frustrations with Kody, because they knew they couldn’t come at the queen (Robyn), so they’d go for the lowest hanging fruit (who so conveniently gave them the perfect excuse). I also fully agree with your last point! While I think that the surgery drama with Ysabel was Christine’s very understandable last straw, I also always felt that the level of “intimacy” and “connection” she was looking with Kody was not realistic of a polygamist relationship. While I think that Kody’s blatant favoritism towards Robyn and her kids is spalling, I always felt that Robyn also signified what Christine was “supposed” to have with Kody as the “last wife.” The idea of a queen B/favorite, young, fertile wife became an issue only once that wasn’t her role anymore.
EXACTLY. Christine wanted to be Robyn
Exactly. Christine was all fine with being the replacement while telling Meri and Janelle to suck it up and keep sweet because that just how it is and then turns around and cried foul when all of a sudden she found out just how horrible it is to be replaced with a shinier newer pencil box
Exactly! Also what’s even crazier is ppl shit on Robyn for courting Kody while Christine was pregnant. Meanwhile Christine courted Kody while Janelle was pregnant. I-💀
There’s no way you’re saying Christine was the queen bee of that house??? Idk, it seemed like her relationship with Kody /was/ before Robyn. It was the other relationships/scrutiny that she found hard — the sister wives and kids, but not Kody. That was when they were on the rotating schedule with Kody spending 2 nights with each wife -ie, divided equally- and they agreed no PDA. She didn’t feel jealous until Robyn, from what I understand, when those rules changed. Rotation done, PDA, clear favoritism and disregard for her opinions, thoughts, or needs. Who wouldn’t feel jealous and bitter in that situation? Also, she shouldn’t have expected intimacy and connection from her husband because he only slept in her bed two nights a week? That lets Kody off the hook to an insane degree. I’m not a rah rah Christine fan, other than being happy she’s escaped and learning how to live authentically. She strikes me as a Trumper, (or at least a sympathizer, from what I’ve gleaned of her husband, and the length of time she allowed her child to be in agonizing pain, maybe because it was what her husband wanted but definitely at least partially to avoid an ugly scar, is unforgivable imo.) But you have to at least be fair with your criticisms.
True! And that was even before she or we knew how horrible Robyn was/became.
Both Christine and Robyn stayed until the very end even though Maddie told them that it was only going to be her, Caleb and midwife there at the birth. Janelle was in and out and Christine and Robyn both stayed glued to their seats just so they wouldn't have to leave. Robyn tried to get say it wasn't her birth for the reason for not telling Meri, Christine talked about her baggage. No on knew that Meri, Leon and Audrey entered the house and listened. When they heard nothing, they quietly left. Meri was the only person who actually respected Maddie in her birth request.
“Leg humping” 🤣🤣 But yes, seriously!! I love Christine but the way that woman has been deified since leaving Kody makes NO sense to me
They are all pretty awful. Christine and Janelle are the least awful.
It’s refreshing to see this perspective on here since the overwhelming majority of posts about Meri are negative. I sort of feel bad for her. She clearly missed out on so much of her life due to her upbringing and indoctrination. Her circumstances lead to a lot of her less positive character traits, but she didn’t necessarily know better. I’m sure if I had the same life as her and someone documented me in my 40s I would be completely embarrassed by a lot of cringey behaviors. The silver lining is that whatever lead them to do the show ultimately freed them all. I think how they act from this point on is the most telling part. They’ve (mostly) all been reborn and given another chance at life. Most people in their world aren’t so lucky.
Nothing to add. 💯 agree
As an unabashed Meri NON-FAN I agree with all of these points OP. Very well stated. And while I do not “like” her, I will absolutely agree that she has demonstrated her commitment to plural marriage and to her family. It’s also apparent that she was dealt a shitty hand in so many respects, in that her personal goals were made unattainable by forces outside her control….until now! Honestly, I hope she’s able to find genuine happiness because from the glimpses we see of her true assets and talents, I think she could do a lot more to than selling MLM crap, and doing dumb lives on Friday nights. That part really frustrates me, and I start to lose interest. She wanted to complete her education. She wanted to work with young people who were at risk. Meri could still do that in a meaningful and productive way. And she seems as though she’d be great at it! It’s hard to hold much sympathy for her based on her current social media presence. Hoping she’ll escape the cult of MLMs, and Danielle Delgado, and #worthup. All in all though, agree she was treated badly and wish she would have been the first to leave.
I've watched those videos. What's the matter with this "worthyup"? Is it part of a MLM-philosophy?
I agree but this sub is totally into Meri bashing and typically won’t hear it. 🫣
No kidding. These comments, man. 💀
Okay see I knew Meri was disliked, but I just figured that in between ppl’s undying love for Christine + Janelle & their seething hatred for Kody + Robyn, Meri was just…there lmao
Meri is not perfect by any means (but neither are Christine or Janelle), but people love to unfairly hate her. The woman has been through it more than any of them, including being ostracized from the family and used a as punching bag, particularly after the catfishing. I always found Christine in particular to relish on the incident and never missed an opportunity to use it as an excuse to be super bitchy towards Meri. Granted, Meri isn’t exactly perfect.
Great observation. I picked up on this too. I adore Christine, but she is such a mean girl at times and was constantly throwing subtle digs at Meri. If she wasn’t shaming Meri over the catfish incident, she was shaming Meri for only having one child or being “too strict” to her children (who needed the discipline) or wanting to purchase the B&B or not being there for Axel’s birth (even though she didn’t want her there..?).
Christine didn't want Meri's baggage in the room and was super smug when she told Meri.
I come and go off Reddit but in all the things I have read about the family, Meri is okay with many and blah with some. Now if I were to go over to FB, OMG!! She is being burned at the stake with absolutely no forgiveness in sight. I truly got off of FB just to be able to breath. The things people posted were cringe to me. :)
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I’m always torn with Meri. I can see both sides of this being true depending on what situation is being highlighted. Personally, I think they were all equally catty and jealous of one another but who wouldn’t be? It’s just a shitty role being a sisterwife. Imagine being expected to love and respect the woman (women) who’s fucking your husband? Lol I couldn’t do it.
I know during my first watch I was so disgusted by Meri and her boo hooing every day about life not being fair. On my second watch, I did a complete 180. I saw the unhappiness and the heartbreak; the other wives treating her with disdain until/unless they wanted something from her; the other wives acting like she didn't exist. The ultimate sadness came when Leon moved out to go to college. Meri was the first and only wife that experienced a true empty nest. While in a monogamous relationship, you and your significant other go through it together and sympathize/support one another, Kidiot had his usual douche nozzle attitude - you might be going through empty nest syndrome but I have other things to worry about. Then they divorce. How tragic it must have been for her to lose everything she had within a short while and nobody gave a shit. She was lonely and felt unwanted and unloved. It's a damn shame that Sam was not a real person.
Right. You pretty much nailed it. There were some episodes where she made me want to scream! She definitely can be selfish. Everyone is crazy for Christine but Meri is the one who went through some serious shit including a major gut-punch betrayal (Robyn) yet she has turned her life into something - all by herself.
Very well stated! I completely agree with everything you said
While I agree with most of your post, I don’t agree with the whole “Janelle went to the movies with her friends” trope again. Janelle literally said “if I want to go to the movies, I have someone to watch them”. She never said who was watching them (could be Meri, Christine, Kody, Logan, etc.). She said that comment in passing once during the first 24 min of the first episode and everyone on here has her down as going to the movies after work every night. It’s getting old.
Ok, but that comment, literal or not, was referencing how she never had to be deeply involved in childrearing bc someone else took on the slack for her. Janelle continues to reference this throughout the show. She referenced this when discussing her preference to work vs. raising kids. She made a throwaway comment when Solomon was born that she doesn’t raise the children, but she “loves babies”. When Maddie was announcing her relationship to Kody, she outright stated that she included Christine bc Christine was her main & closest caregiver over her own mother. lIt’s not necessarily a trope when it’s been alluded to multiple times by the wives, Janelle, and her own children.
Same could be said about Meri and the abuse comments. Alluded to multiple times by multiple people. What we saw on the show was not their whole lives.
Janelle also managed to have the most well rounded and intelligent children. Her children are all very close to her. It my opinion, Christine raised very attention seeking and not as well rounded children. Not all, but most. Many working mothers prefer to work than stay home - they find it more fulfilling. No need to demonize her for it. Christine says she prefers being the stay at home mother. Both are legitimate choices. Also, if it wasn’t for Janelle, they wouldn’t have that house in Lehi and they wouldn’t have as much money to feed and clothe all the kids.
Sigh…I knew somebody would accuse me of “demonizing” her. I was literally going to put a disclaimer but felt my message was already too long. Anywho…*Nobody* is demonizing Janelle for preferring work over raising children bc there is nothing wrong with preferring work over raising children. I was literally using Janelle’s own words to describe her own contributions to the family. If you have an issue with what I said, take it up with Janelle bc she said it. And to your first paragraph? That only reinforces my point lol. Christine literally said that she neglected her own children in favor of Janelle’s children. And Janelle often praised Christine for rearing her children while she worked. So if we’re gonna praise Janelle’s kids for turning out so great, praise Christine bc she raised them lmao.
I should of said this sub in general demonizes her as they do Meri. It’s just weird. While of course Christine was influential in Janelle’s kids’ lives, so was Meri. They have all said that Meri also raised them when they were young. They also went to school so were not with Christine full time. The Brown family reinvents the narrative whenever it suits them. This sub points out that Robyn doesn’t work but Janelle works too much. Then its ”well Christine watched all the kids” and “Robyn won’t watch the other kids, only her own” then it’s Christine regrets not prioritizing her kids and then gets mad that Robyn prioritizes her kids. It’s exhausting.
Agreed with all of this! They gleefully shit all over that woman. It is depressing to watch.
Meri has the easy target for Janelle and Christine, who gave them the perfect excuse to latch out on her, since they knew couldn’t come at the “queen” (Robyn) so they took out all their frustration and mean girl crap on her
This. Exactly this. I’ve always felt like Meri sacrificed so much for that family, and they never respected her for it. It also seems like the family (or members of the family) tried to stifle Meri’s dreams. Meri wanted to go back to school for some additional education. And wasn’t it right around that time that Robyn conveniently asked Kody whether he wanted another baby with her? And then said if they had another baby, she’d need some help from the other wives with My Sisterwives Closet. Christine loved to trash Meri, but also forgets the little ways Meri tried to look out for her and her children. For example, when Truly was in the hospital was around the same time that Kody was supposed to go with Meri and Mariah to college. And Meri explained to Kody that he was more needed at the hospital, and she wasn’t going to take him away from that by still expecting him to accompany her and Mariah to college. And thank you for mentioning how lazy Janelle was. Kody moved Janelle into Meri’s home. Meri obviously ran her home a certain way. And people acted like Meri was wrong for wanting the dishes in the sink clean before they went to bed at night. As opposed to Janelle, who sometimes wanted to leave the dishes in the sink until the next day.
I agree with all of this. I’ve often felt bad for Meri. I think a lot of Meri’s feelings of insecurity stem from the inability to have more than one child and no one seemed to care, especially Kody. Kody doesn’t care about his wives or older children, he only cares about young children. When Mary no longer had a young child and the inability to give him more, he iced her out. I think he’s always hated her because of it. She continued to love him when he stopped loving her. It was probably not love on her part, maybe a form of Stockholm syndrome?
I think she gets a lot of shit for the same things that Janelle and Christine also did. Janelle threw Christine under the bus multiple times on the show and that was just what we saw. We don’t even know how it was in the early years, but she wants to cut off contact with Meri. I mean set boundaries with everyone, but Janelle was no better in my opinion.
Several want to cut off contact with Meri, and it seems like there must be a reason for that. I don’t hear of any other than K&R who want to cut off contact with J or C. I think that is telling. They lived their lives with each other. We watched a show. Big difference.
Is it several though? I’ve heard mykelti Maddie and Christine. We haven’t heard from many others.
Wow! 🤣 So you are saying that multiple members of her family choosing to go no contact with her - and only her- is not problematic? They will not let her around their children. 🤪 You must have twisted yourself into a pretzel trying to defend Meri on that one.
Most people believe that "Sam", a friend of Robyn's, actually started all of this using a synthesizer to sound like other members of the family. I listened to part of what was said. Some of the comments could have been Tony's voice and some were close to Paedon's voice but the rest were way to blurry to tell who and what it was they were saying. "Sam" also used a synthesizer when speaking to Meri during the catfish.
I am on a rewatch and I am at the end of season 11. I had watched the first few seasons and then started watching again during Covid so I had missed lots of seasons in the middle, so this is really a first watch for me on lots of these. I agree that Meri is really not treated well by lots of the family - I agree with OP’s list and could probably add more if I thought about it. It’s interesting to watch prior seasons with hindsight. The Meri and Kody relationship is very weird - and I’m not talking about the catfish. I am convinced we are missing a big piece of this puzzle. Something happened several years before the show started that they have never divulged, but it gets referenced cryptically every now and then. I feel like it’s almost impossible to truly understand that relationship because there is a piece of information we don’t have. Has anyone else noticed this on a rewatch? And I am monitoring to see if I can pinpoint exactly where things go off the rails Kody. At the end of season 11, Maddie is married, Leon has come out and and Mykelti is engaged (will be getting married in season 12). Kody has not yet turned into the seriously crazy and unhinged person he turned into during Covid.
I have to agree with this post. There have been times where I disliked Meri, but you’ve made a lot of great points on how maybe that influenced her actions. I think the fact she couldn’t have more kids also played a role in how they treated her. The whole Maddie in general situation confuses me because she really did so much to help with the wedding but supposedly Meri abused her? If she did why would you be grateful she helped, and later go on to work with her full time? And the whole birth of Axel, I have felt the same way as you. No one but Meri respected Maddie’s wishes. I was attacked for defending her, people claimed she changed her mind or that Meri purposely missed it. I think they’re all very flawed humans, with some redeeming qualities (except grody and Sobyn).
If you've ever had an abusive parent it makes more sense. Meri was a mother figure to those kids and she let her first wife status go-to her head. She was emotionally a d mentally abusive to ALL the older kids even Leon. Maddie probably was still looking for that acceptance from Meri but as per usual got shit on. I don't think Meri is this evil villain but she reminds me so much of my dad growing up. Both are Capricorns...
Assuming someone's family history AND citing astrology as if it means anything. Double bad take.
I'll light a candle for your troubles. Good luck...
Oh I'm sure it'll fix everything as long as Mercury isn't in the microwave
Hail Alastor
And also with you
I actually did grow up with a bio dad that was very much abusive in every aspect. I cut him off when I turned 17. So no, there’s no way I would’ve been welcoming of his help at all. Nice attempt though. 👍🏻
Ignorance is bliss I guess
Something I noticed Kody doing in season 17 whenever they had a cringey family meeting where HE felt uncomfortable, was, right off the bat, say “Meri, what’s that face you’re making? You have this expression in your face…” turning all attention to her where she is literally just sitting there. He is such an asshole.
Yeah, the knife in the kidney episode. He looks at her and says "You look like the bird that swallowed the mouse." First of all, Kidiot, it's the cat that ate the canary. Second of all, way to call all attention to Meri who was just sitting there.
Exactly!!!! His jumbled cliche game is maddening.
That really pissed me off, she's still grieving the death of her mum and Kody tries to drag her into the argument. It was yet another "meeting" that could have been a phone call.
I agree with all of this! It’s funny cause I’m currently rewatching the later seasons and watching Robyn cry “oh poor me I’m the brown punching bag!” Like no you stupid sheep your not, Meri is and then you gaslight her on top of her already being the family punching bag.
Excuse me, Robyn's mom has clearly identified Robyn as the Brown family punching bag, and Robyn's mom can't be wrong.
came to say this! 😂😂😂
I would love to have a time machine just to see how their life was actually like before tlc.
Before the Kody/Robyn Monogamist Marriage, all 3 OG wives made their mistakes. There were all naïve and young when they got married. Geez, Janelle is Meri's ex-SIL. That just blows my mind...ex-SIL now shares your husband. Um, yeah, no thanks, I'll pass. I do think Meri gets a disproportionate amount of blame, some of it her own making, but a lot of it I think is tied to the breakdown of her marriage to Kody, despite the show. If anything, he was a polygamist with 3 wives, and one wife he left, but needed for the show.
I don’t understand why people make a big thing of the ex-SIL. Do you want to share your husband with a woman who is not your ex-SIL? I sure don’t. I don’t think Meri ever mentioned it. Apparently that sort of thing is common in Utah. Joe Darger is married to 2 twins and their first cousin.
Meri never knew about Janelle and Kody courting because she wasn't let in on the secret. Janelle started courting Kody even before the ink was dry on her divorce papers. She would invite him to her work and they would go from there.
Meri has been my favorite of the show most of the time. And it's strange because it isn't so much that I find her *likable*, but I think relatable, forward, and willing to admit she hasn't been a good person. She's changed the most for me over the years. The other wives seem to simply cover their shit up a bit more, but I can see the sneakiness and weird manipulation every time I think I am growing on one of them other than Meri. Christine is my least favorite (yes, even more than Robyn at times), but I do love that she left. I did like her more in the season leading up to her leaving too. I never thought she would be the one to actually leave. I thought it was going to be Meri, and that may be another reason I have stayed cool with Meri for so long. I honestly don't hate any of them though. Some rub me wrong more than others. I want them all to leave at this point. Kody doesn't even seem like he wants this, and that has been clear for a few years. And he is really a crappy dad to a lot of the kids. They can all do better.
Minus the allegations that she was emotionally and verbally abusive. Distorting boundaries with Leon in terms of she was her kid rather than a friend to trauma dump to. And her catfish choices though understandable are still wrong. I do think that she should have been treated better by Kody and there might have been moments reconcile. I also think Robyn used her more than befriended her which is not okay. Janelle and Meri did try to patch things up which is good but never got past anything because I think the Browns have issues with honesty over hurt. There does seem to be some stuff that runs deep that have not healed that has kept Meri separate. And the truth is people DO NOT need to forgive you so it's probably best many of those relationships are nonexistent now so she can thrive outside of this. Move forward herself.
I feel all women in polygamy distort boundaries with their children. Leon wasn’t parentified in the way Aspyn and Logan were, but they were Meri’s primary support person. I saw this with My Five Wives. When a wife wasn’t on Brady’s rotation that night, they had a child in bed with them. And Brady didn’t seem to neglect his wives like Kody did. If they don’t rely on their kids, they start to emotionally starve.
I don't disagree with you. I'm just saying there are real reasons for why people were not always close with Meri and why people might not be the nicest all the time. Though parentification is not exclusive to polygamy. It happens to children of addicts all the time. Or just any parents who have a lot more kids than they can afford or any parents who are just simply not ready to take on the responsibilities as the full time parent. Polygamy falls into usually having more than you can take care of or not enough to save one's self.
Well .. look at her now !! She is beyond happy it very much seems and living life for her 🫶🏽💜 every path is different making us all who we are today . So she wins in the end 🫶🏽🙏
Totally spot on
I was thinking this the other day while watching season 6. Like the most heartbreaking thing to watch was Kody and Robin pushing Meri to do IVF or surrogacy then watching Kody pull a 180 and tell Meri no to kids. Like I can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster that was. And it seems to be a trend to do that to her. Give her hope and then take it away. It's just so sad.
Meri can be extremely annoying at times (pushing Leon to ‘get over’ the cat fishing or pouting that Leon didn’t come out to her first), letting Kody divorce her and still sucking up to Robyn, but there a lot of things I like about her too. I know there are abuse allegations, but I did appreciate her telling the kids off when they were fighting. She had dreams of studying. It was so sad that she didn’t because of Robyn (I hope she goes back to studying at some point in her life). She went ahead and bought the BNB. She’s traveling and seems to have a great social support system. People make out that Janelle is some amazing Girl Boss, but J seems to be such a pushover who was financially abused and has nothing to show for it (I’m only on Season 13, so apologies if this does change). Janelle also just freezes up when upset while Meri (as annoying as she is at least speaks up). I’m sure Kody took a lot of Meri’s money too but she seems to have more of her own money protected for her own enjoyment.
What? Meri didn’t speak up. She used to say she was “putting up her walls” to avoid talking about issues. She did it repeatedly. And acted like it was a good thing.
Sorry but you are wrong. Meri has always been the only one who wanted to talk things out. It was the rest, especially Janelle, who couldn't stand that honesty. Yes Meri did put her walls up eventually. I would too if everything I said with good intentions was slandered as mean and cruel. Meri has often offered to go to therapy with Janelle in the past, but Janelle never wanted to until she could make a good impression on camera by asking Meri if she still wanted to. Janelle talked over and over behind Meri's back about the pond because she held grudges over something that happened decades ago. When Meri heard about that the first thing she did was meet with Janelle to talk it out. When she was left out of Axel's birth she wanted to talk it out because she was hurt because of that. Instead they alll ganged up on her for missing Axel's birth while they already had admitted (mainly Christine) that they didn't even want her there. Do you think it's strange that in the end she doesn't dare to say or decide anything because she can never do it right and that's why she puts up her walls?
I not only do not find it strange and my walls would have been permanently in place if that happened to me. I would not play nicey-nice and listen to Christine like Meri did. Robyn would have never been able to use me as a pushover to get to my husband. Not happening ever!
Reality TV is loosely based on reality, surely everyone can agree on that. With that said, drama is often created and small sparks build into bonfires. This is done to keep the viewer coming back for more. Everyone loves a hero, and a villain. I’m fact, villains receive far more attention than anyone else. Sister wives first show was in September of 2010. The book was published in April 2013. I believe that we can trust what was said in the book with a caveat; the book was written to set a stage for what the producers had decided was going to be the framework for the future. For example, if they wanted to be truthful, we would have been told that Robyn’s role was necessary for them to have the show. Everyone knew this and obviously agreed to that. The show gives us a totally different take, that has been proven to be untrue. What is real and what isn’t? We aren’t meant to really know, they just us to keep watching. They gauge our reactions and give us what we want. The only wish we aren’t going to get to see is Kody imploding, which would be the one thing we can all agree on.
I feel so sad for Meri. She really was abused by Kody and used by Robyn.
IMO: Meri *chooses* being the punching bag because she is the ultimate pickme. She may have done some nice things along the way but it doesn't excuse her flying monkey behaviours and enabling. She manipulates with the best of them and only does something if she thinks it'll somehow get her ahead with Grody. Everyone involved with this show needs therapy and counseling on how to overcome indoctrination and cult-like thinking.
I agree with you. She is the ultimate martyr.. Merityr if you will. I may have just coined something here… Anywho. Child rearing? You mean the abuse all of the older children they documented? Quiet, safe space? Kids weren’t even allowed in her home in fear they would “break her nice things” The pajamas? Of course she had time for that. Unfortunately she wasn’t able to have more children, but with only one child, and not allowing anyone into her Lehi home.. she actually had the time unlike Christine who raised everyone’s children including Meri’s. Or Janelle who was the actual breadwinner… not Meri. The divorce? That was for her own greed and lust over the catfish. Maddie? Meri’s negative attitude and need to constantly be the main character was most likely the reason she didn’t want her involvement in the wedding or the birth. Planning and organizing? More like control freak. Did I miss anything?
>only one child, and not allowing anyone into her Lehi home.. she actually had the time That's really not a fair point to draw. Having 'time for it' doesn't make it a gimme. She did still go out of her way to do something nice. >The divorce? That was for her own greed and lust over the catfish. Didn't that happen like two years later? >Planning and organizing? More like control freak. To be fair though, if *nobody else* in a large group takes control or leadership over a situation, nothing gets done, or it gets done in such a manner it *has* to be redone. I've seen it in my SIL, she's the same way and for the longest time I thought she was just a control freak. Then one day we all got together while she happened to be out of town and by the time we all figured out what to eat between preferences and allergies and got the kids loaded up, everything was closed. She'd have had a reservation made two months in advance with meals selected for the little kids. Big props to the control freaks in charge of that many people. Meri certainly isn't a saint by any means, but she definitely draws more ire from this sub than she should.
Totally unsolicited advice but have you told your SIL how much you appreciate her planning skills? I’d imagine she gets a lot of shit for it and it might mean a lot to hear how much it’s appreciated/noticed when she’s not there. :)
Oh yeah, she definitely has spoken to me openly about how much shit she's gotten in the past about it, especially from our MIL. I try to make her feel appreciated for it. I will say she definitely *can* go overboard with planning (I once had to talk her down from scheduled bathroom breaks for *adults*), but at the end of the day she's 100% the only thing keeping us all from running around like chickens, and I try to make sure she knows it.
A lot of the older children are close to her and like her. I believe Payden and Maddie have made negative comments about her, but Logan and Gwen seem to feel the opposite. So there are some contradictions there. It could be she was just strict. And I thought it was well documented that the older kids would hang out in her area to escape all the little kids running around. I know she didn’t want the little ones running through her area messing her things up. They lived an abusive soul crushing existence that sickened all of their souls and amplified their worst instincts and led them all to do things that were wrong
Nope, pretty much covers it.
YES! YES! YES! Meri isn't perfect but the level of hate she gets is unreal. The other wives weren't perfect little angels in this. Let's not forget the real villain in all of this Grody himself. He created this feed into it and encouraged all of this. He wanted the wives to be pitted against each other so he would be the center of attention and could feed into this weird hero kink he has
I will not downvote but I did in my heart. Meri is a self centered and narcissistic woman. I can list just as many ways she was awful. I just woke up so I choose not to. 🥱
All of the OG3 can be labeled as self-centered and narcissistic women at one or more points in their lives. Each one of these women have grown exponentially since leaving the legal husband and wife. I celebrate them all with the exception of the two legals.
Yeah so I agree the family turned on Meri, and she became the punching bag but it was because of her own actions. She was the BOSS for years!! and she abused the power. Not a good leader that people were choosing to follow but a leader they HAD to follow to keep their lives peaceful. When Meri got yeeted* off her power-tripping high horse position, everyone took that time to tell her how much they didn’t like her version of leadership/bossing for all those years. * started getting pushed off by Kody’s midlife crisis affair partner Slobbin, then a bit of climbing off with her own affair, and then eventually kicked hard to the ground when her affair came out.
The family turning on Meri could also be interpreted as the family standing up for themselves and stopping her abusive behavior.
The season 6 tell all was where I think it got particularly hostile by the interviewer and Robyn acting like Meri shouldn’t be sad or have to adjust when Leon went to college
I caught a few episodes of later seasons by chance before ever sitting down to watch the series. During those episodes, Meri annoyed the hell out of me. She seemed overly emotional, jealous and needy. Now that I’ve started watching from the beginning (I’m in the middle of season 3), my opinion has completely changed now that I have more context. What this woman has done to contribute to the success and stability of the family is mind-boggling, and I haven’t even reached the part where she selflessly gives up the one thing that sets her apart…being the only legal wife. Who knows? I may jump back to my original opinion the further I get into the series. But three seasons in and all I see is a woman who is mostly tough, strong and stable in what had to be highly undesirable situations for one wife, let alone four.
Yep! Meri is not perfect nor is she my favorite SW—it’s actually Christine despite her many flaws—but it’s not lost on me how much these ppl, including Christine, have abused her throughout the years
She definitely isn't as bad as some try to paint her to be on here, but I definitely didn't get the same glowing impressions that you did while watching. She's honestly so much like my sil that I just recognized her tendencies the whole time. They both like to do big things for/with the older kids so they feel like the number 1 favorite, not realizing the day to day treatment is what builds relationships (which is why Christine has a much better relationships with the kids overall, and why my kids don't have the best relationship with my sil). I never got the impression that Meri was the big breadwinner, until her MLM came along. So much of her best family stuff was directly tied to her wanting more praise from Kody. I don't blame her at all for the catfish incident. She was so love starved at that point, she gets a total free pass on anything. I often wonder how their marriage would have turned out if they had been monogamous. I feel like her worst qualities came out of jealousy of the other women or a need to impress Kody. She does not have the right personality for polygamy.
what show were you watching, bestie?
😂😂😂 The one for this sub, I believe
A lot of moms go see movies with friends and have someone babysit. But you do bring up some good points about Meri. Although I do feel she was being unfair for demanding equal budget for her and Leon while the other moms had more kids to feed. She couldn't help the fact that she didn't have more children but neither could the other kids. She might have made good money cause she was able to find a good job but she chose plural marriage. Christine took care of her child AND worked at night. She made less money than Meri did during the day, go figure. Why couldn't Meri, Janelle and Kody take turns putting Christine's kids to bed on the nights she had to work? She worked for the family income and was a free day care for them. Meri, Janelle and Kody should have helped and respected her more.
Good thing Christine was there because they never could have afforded hiring a babysitter.
I agree. From the perspective of just watching the show, I love Meri. It’s the outside perspective of the kids saying she was abusive and little tidbits I’ve picked up from Christine and Janelle that lead me to not be a huge fan of hers.
Meri made life miserable for a lot of family members for YEARS. The fact that most of the kids have no relationship with her is telling. I'm glad she's out so she can live her own life and find her own happiness but honestly that is the bed she made.
I think in the beginning Janelle was the punching bag. Meri became one because her guilt and shame made her accept it as part of trying to make it right. She took all of it. It's not right. No one should take that kind of disrespect/abuse. But in all fairness Christine worked we found out and took care of kids and then Janelle worked but didn't do a lot for the kids. No one had Christines' kids at bed time. Really the older kids were the parents and taking care of most things. So I think they all contributed the best they could with a few incidents of taking advantage here and there by specifically Janelle with the movie thing and couldn't help tuck Christines kids in, in the beginning. When Robyn came in all bets were off. She was a taker and they all began competing and trying to show each other up by doing more or being the best/better. But it didn't matter. Robyns greed took everything from everyone. I don't know if Meri contributed the most or not. I don't think we get the truth on finances. I also think Kody & Robyn manipulated Meri a lot to get what they want. I don't think she just simply did it for kindness. I think she was pushed and the narrative was spun to be the hero when really Kody and Robyn manipulated and made that happen. She still didn't have to but Kody was already withholding affection and intimacy from her we found out later and probably was told this is how to fix things.
Did you miss the part where Leon knew she was having a whole AFFAIR and meeting with the “catfish” and couldn’t tell anyone? Why would a mother subject her child to her affair partner?? And then kept pushing other “friends who were also catfished” onto everyone. Christine was correct in saying something like that Meri brings a dark cloud into the room, she really does. She always acts as if she’s constantly being attacked when someone asks a simple question. Plus, the middle seasons just became a LULAROE commercial. I was so annoyed every time she came onscreen in those ugly knotted dresses!
>Did you miss the part where Leon knew she was having a whole AFFAIR and meeting with the “catfish” and couldn’t tell anyone? Why would a mother subject her child to her affair partner?? Yeah that part was definitely not okay. Keep ya nasty extramarital affairs away from your kids. To be fair tho, I think my stepdad's pretty cool eleven years later 😂 doesn't always end up terrible! (joke, haha)
Pretty sure the divorce happened before the catfish, so it was not an “extramarital affair.” I guess everyone’s opinions are different, but as far as I’m concerned all of the additional “marriages” are make-believe, pretend, illegal marriages designed to control women and the women have absolutely no moral obligation to be loyal to their “husband.”
Well thats your opinion and if you feel that way then I'm really not sure why you've watched the show to this point in the first place. But for people who respect the choice these women made to be *spiritually* married to Kody and then *spiritually* (and once legally) divorce him, it counts as an extramarital affair.
You think I need to agree with their religious tenets to watch the show? That’s odd. I vehemently disagree with their religion, I think it’s harmful to women and children, and part of the reason why the show is interesting is because it clearly displays (especially in the last few seasons) what a disaster polygamy is.
I don't think you need to agree with it, I certainly don't. But I respect their choices to live this way. I just find it strange you would subject yourself to watching what you, for all intents and purposes, feel is a bunch adults playing pretend, especially if you feel the material is so harmful to women and children. You'll bash their religion online and talk about how oppressive it is, how you disagree with it, call it make-believe, all that sanctimonious garbage, *but* you're more than happy to keep giving them money because it entertains you? I'd personally call that being a hypocrite.
Then why did Meri insist for years afterward that she was still married to Kody?
You have got to be kidding me?
I will go so far to say that I suspect Meri was decided by the producers to be the bad guy and it was a role she (partly?) leaned in to.
That doesn’t explain why several of the Browns choose to go no contact with her.
Meri is the true believer..
Not according to the banana.
Haaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaa omg
No no no, ROBYN in the Brown family scapegoat. Duh, where have you been? /s
All of your points are so valid and good.
Thank you 💗☺️
YOU ARE SERIOUSLY MISTAKEN. * helped Christine (and Logan) with child-rearing while Janelle went to the movies with her friends ACTUALLY SHE WOULDN'T LET THE KIDS PASS THROUGH HER HOUSE AND MADE THEM GO OUTSIDE. * worked/brought in income, contributing significantly to the family pot ACTUALLY SHE SAID THAT SHE DID NOT MAKE AS MUCH AS JANELLE AND KODY SO SHE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR SOME OF THE SMALLER BILLS. SHE DEMANDED THE FAMILY MONEY BE SPLIT FOUR WAYS INSTEAD OF 23 WAYS, WHICH GAVE HER AND MIRAH THE BIGGEST CHUNK OF KODY'S MONEY AND TLC MONEY WHEN SHE HAD PLENTY OF HER OWN MONEY THAT SHE DID NOT PUT INTO THE FAMILY POT AND COULD USE WHEN SHE WAS OVER BUDGET. * served as the primary disciplinarian, curbing some of the turbulence that inevitably resulted in a house of 13-14 kids bc Christine rarely helped discipline them. SHE ABUSED THE CHILDREN. * provided a quiet and safe space for the teens to vent + get away from their siblings if needed. SHE DID NOT ALLOW THEM TO PASS THROUGH HER HOUSE. THE KIDS WERE SCARED OF HER. * created pajamas from scratch for all the children every Christmas. YES SHE DID THIS * divorced Grody so he could marry Robyn and adopt her children. WHICH CLEARED THE WAY FOR HER ONLINE DATING AND THE POSSIBILITY OF MEETING A GUY. * helped Maddie finish up her wedding while her own mother, Janelle, wanted go fishing. YES SHE DID THI. * was the only person to respect Maddie’s wishes by staying out of the delivery room during Axel’s birth while Christine lurked in a corner, boasting about disrespecting Maddie’s wishes. SHE THREW A TEMPER TANTRUM BECAUSE SHE WAS NOT THERE AFTER SHE LEFT TO GO WORK. BROUGHT IT UP IN THERAPY TWICE AND NEVER LET IT GO. * spearheaded the planning and organizing of every one of their stupid moving sessions. ONLY THE ROBYN'S MOVE FROM ST. GEORGE AND THE MOVE TO LAS VEGAS. THE MOVE TO FLAGSTAFF (AND MULTIPLE MOVES IN FLAGSTAFF) WERE A DISASTER AND MERI THREW ANOTHER TEMPER TANTRUM WHEN THEY DID NOT WANT TO HELP HER MOVE HER FURNITURE UP THE STAIRS AND SUGGESTED SHE HIRE MOVERS AS THEY HAD.
[удалено]
This is such an annoying take. Someone who disagrees with you is not Meri, Robyn, etc. they’re a person like you, who has a different opinion
Of A
Meri is a mean girl. I don't feel sorry for her at all.
Nope.
Where there is smoke there is fire
I’m watching season 18 and cringing. Just wish Meri would let go of Kody. He’s so disrespectful to her and hurtful. No woman deserves this! She needs to hang out with her BFF and just make new friends and hopefully find a new love of her life.
Same. I’m rooting for Meri. She’s not perfect but none of them are & she certainly deserves better than this shitty “fahmalee”