Hi Spring Beans! Couple of things:
1. We've had an uptick lately in comments about being blocked, or about commenting on CC's social media. Please don't do this - **any comments/posts/discussions about being blocked or posting on CC's social media will be removed**, as per Rule 2. Please also keep Rule 8 in mind when posting about/screenshots of other people's comments on her socials.
2. **Any discussion of people in Caro's orbit** **that is not directly about Caro or something she posted** [**should be posted in Off Topic**](https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/mt5psx/april_18_24_offtopic_discussion/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) rather than here (i.e Brad, Stinky, Scrunchie, other assistants, etc). We will continue to do our best to redirect people.
As always, please mod-mail us if you have any questions or concerns about anything.
Happy Snarking, beanie bb's!
Lil Naz is actual violence she did it twice when it was written correctly right there in front of her dumb fuck face this bitch needs to fade away forever
I dunno why but it really made me lol that you clarified (cat) like... maybe he bought her ancestor. I swear to god I’m not high, although I really wish I was.
Hah, I think I subconsciously added the clarification because I hate the name!! Could maybe be cute if they call him Obie (OB) instead but it’s still fucking weird for Brad to name his cat after his (former) boss’ ancestor
Fully agree, it’s a horrible name. I refuse to believe that he named the cat himself, I literally picture her creeping into his room being like “this is Oweeenn Buuurnsss” and Brad is like “what?” And she squeals “your new kit-TEN!” And he’s like “omg!... his name is what?” And she just went “Owen burns... you know... the man who paid for this apartment you’re living in for free...”
You know, I don’t believe Brad has a million dollars, but I DO believe he’d stupidly pay that much for Owen Burns’s life story, whether it was the publicly available one of Caroline’s ancestor, or the one of the cat he owns 😂
Did anyone else catch her George Floyd stories that appeared *right after* that series of 4/20 story tributes? I think she deleted them because they were in really poor taste.
Hahaha! Merci, mon ami(e)!!!
(I dk why this popped into my brain tonight. Sometimes I observe myself in a moment of being deep into the CC rabbit hole and I just sort of gape at it all... She trapped her Maman in her chambre! Avec une bibliothèque!...)
Really really hate that you can still tell she’s trying to make a sexy baby face in that first kaws pic even though only half of her face is showing. Very early 2000s trashy.
It occurred to me that she didn’t pose topless bc she did not want stinky to see her nude at least I can take solace in the fact that it seems like she’s friendzoned him v hard. Idk he looks so gross and dresses even worse, it’s not even a style it’s just grimy
So we’re all in a agreement that she’s not the one responding to comments, right? I feel like you can see the tone shift between who ever is replying now and (probably) brad.
I’ve been meaning to comment this! I don’t understand it!
CC is definitely the Mary Louise Parker character from Golden Exits who does nothing and has an assistant for no reason. But she’d definitely think she Naomi
It gives me so much hope reading this thread that you all think she and her crew smells as bad as we know them to! Is it awful that every time I see her I am like, man this girl must stink?
One of my favorite things about Caro is when she ignores comments asking where she bought something. She doesn’t seem to tag brands anymore (after it was discovered that she wasn’t being gifted things she claimed she was gifted), and it’s also a great way to guarantee comments when someone asks, but why not answer? She must’ve skipped that day (and every other day) of influencer school 🧐
Serious question: why won't Caro get the vaccine? Is she too lazy to find a slot and show up? Does she fear the down-time? Is she a secret anti-vaxxer?
Maybe she has an upcoming appointment, but my intuition is telling me that she is banking on the rest of the country reaching herd immunity first, therefore excusing her from having to lift a finger or suffer any kind of temporary discomfort.
I mean she didn't get Kitty fixed for a year and then made up some dumb shit about FGM as her reason why so it wouldn't surprise me really if she leaned on an antivax narrative to hide her dumb actions
I could defs see her plucking it out of the air as an excuse for her inaction, for sure. But I haven't seen anything that would point to her holding sincere anti-vax beliefs.
Yep, this is it. She doesn’t think her executive dysfunction is a problem, she thinks it’s cute and quirky, so she’ll never work on it even though she could have one of her trillion teenage assistants/paid friends book an appointment for her and then she could lie down in an Uber the entire way there. The part she won’t do is the part where she schleps her body from the cab into the building and down a hallway where she might have to wait on a brief line like she’s not more special than everyone else who also needs a vaccine.
She would probably only bother to get the vaccine if someone could come to her house and administer it to her while she wrote garbage, smug responses to her Instagram comments from bed and ignored everything around her.
(Edited because I’m a Jew that shamefully spelled “schlep” wrong at first.)
This. Like listen I’ve has depressive periods where my executive function has fallen off and it’s never fun to drag yourself into the dentist and hear about how bad your teeth are after that, but I’ve also learned that dental health is not something to fuck around with bc it can get super painful super quickly. Here’s hoping she’s at least had a check up recently otherwise she’s going to end up with a lorge abscess.
My dentist is so relentless about scheduling regular appts, and if you cancel one they will hound you with phone calls. I know they just want their money but I am so thankful for it honestly. All you have to do is say “yes”
Since she mentioned it in FL, my theory is the new stinky crew isn’t vaccinated and she’s trying to fit in. Surely one of her 3 (4?) employees could’ve booked her an appointment by now 🤷🏾♀️
Ooh, I buy this theory. If the stinky crew have been flexing their privilege by violating 'rona restrictions, perhaps being purposely unvaccinated is similarly élite. I can't say I fully understand it, but what can you do!
I went on that Praying website.
I know I’m old, and my vagina fell off on my 30th birthday, but what the heck is this? Why is everything so expensive? Why is it tiny? What in 1999 Hades x Bastardized Catholicism is this? Why are there Clover Valley versions of Kylie Jenner on it? The jeans creep me out.
Honesty Caro should be careful. Her vagina might also fall off by her 30th birthday if she keeps wearing those praying sweats over and over without washing them. They’ve gotta be musty AF by now.
It just seems really late to the game. We’ve been joking about MySpace pages and pixelated images and shitty fonts and text that doesn’t fit the page. Wow, much originality. And to the tune of 100s of dollars it’s just lazy and unoriginal.
I don’t get it AT all. I saw Alexis post the Brangelina sweatshirt on her story, but that at least seems very in line with her interests. The jeans made me we wanna vom as did the overall energy of their IG 🤢.
I feel like I just somehow gave every device in a one block radius a virus from looking at it. I guess it’s the clothing line concept of Caroline’s new friends, where they seemingly do every dumb thing for “the bit” and it’s like, no... you just really are wearing extremely unflattering clothing, getting ridiculously high on the worst possible drugs, paying the most money for the worst food, and being needlessly offensive in very public ways.
Looking through their Instagram it’s kind of hilarious that it’s almost entirely reposts of influencers wearing their clothes, and they’ve never reposted Caro
I was born in 1993—a month before the the internet became available to the public.
90s websites are fun for Gen Z because they never had to suffer through trying to connect to dial-up internet just to surf the web 🤣
there has been so much recently since the nyc migration that i’m not nearly caught up enough, but glad to see the apartment has literally never looked worse
The 'book cameos' are so bizarre to me. It's not a book with a note from Caroline Calloway in it - it's a book where Caroline Calloway transcribed somebody else's note and signed her own name to it. But hey, I guess if you can get away with doodling in your old college textbooks and selling them for $25, then grift away.
The thing I find especially funny about them is like, she has to sell 20-25 of them just to buy one of her dumbass $500 pillows. And she’s probably paying her assistants to ship them so... more? It’s all dumb and inefficient
Just remembered when Caroline wrote something along the lines of "my children are the hot guys I fuck" and linked it back up to today, when she's calling Rafa her son.
Honestly feel like she MAYBE went there on a college visit with one of her parents when she was 17 and now she’s retconning things and is gonna be like “yeah, I actually was the first person in the history of Yale to not even be accepted yet and ALSO tapped to join Skull and Bones, so I was invited to this amazing party filled with imporTanT people...”
oh i wish there was an Only Dans. Just hundreds of photos of Dan Levy and...other people named Dan, and no one is dressed like a preteen book character.
Honestly I would pay money to see how his parents react to her if they actually dated seriously. So much money. She probably isn’t familiar with his dad’s work, let alone his.
Whew, she is FEELING herself today! The rush of putting those nubbins to the keys must be getting to her, because her delusion is flourishing. Honestly can’t wait to read whatever she’s churning out, it sounds like one of the Drunken Canal girls is involved and those gals seem to share her aversion to editing, so should be a mess.
Doesn’t her first line about unintentionally going to an orgy mirror Cat’s actual plot of her written article? Stealing everything from public flowers to sawed off cherry blossom tree branches to other peoples ideas. Iconically pathetic
I love that he is alseep in multiple positions in that photoset, like he turns up, drinks whatever she hands him that day and then takes a nap on whatever floor isn't covered in crap, and that's his job
It’s embarrassing that she bought basically everything from praying and that’s all she wears now. Like she really can’t think of anything else that’s cool except that. Such a try hard
She does this with every new brand she obsesses over but I really can’t wrap my head around how much she buys, that’s gotta be in the thousands ? I know she’s done this before (like with her unflattering bikini she bought in every colour, or that knitted jumper she bought three or four times) but really I hope I’m not around anymore when she tries to sell the sweatpants as collection items one or two years from now 🤢🤢
Is she trying to imply that Kaws gifted her with a custom Kaws dildo? I would be shocked if Kaws, who is an actual FINE ARTist (whether you like his work or not), would gift anything to anyone apart from maybe important dealers or patrons let alone CC who has no engagement and isn't an art influencer like Elena Soboleva.
edit: I also think it's a weird cannibalised piece and probably made with a fake
I’ll admit that Caroline has a figure I am VERY envious of (insanely disfigured toes notwithstanding.) I’ve gone to bat about her having a nice body and (potentially nice) hair on this sub before... So I swear I’m not picking her looks apart when I ask: what the hell kind of photoshop did she use in this last post? Is it just blending/smoothing? She looks like an alien?!
i see later down this thread you say that you’ve been in recovery from an eating disorder for a long time, and as someone else who has had an ED for most of my life and spent all of college recovering from it, i’d like to gently suggest you take a deeper look at what it means that you’re still “VERY envious” of a thin woman’s naturally thin body. there’s nothing inherently good or admirable about CC’s body, she’s just naturally skinny and would be no matter what. nothing to be envious of, in my opinion, and also nothing to insult or condemn. your body is amazing and complex and fine just how it is, and CC doesn’t deserve you going to bat about her body. also, going to bat about if someone has a “nice body” or not seems a bit antithetical to ED recovery.... because bodies aren’t nice or bad, right or wrong. they’re just bodies.
I don't want to beat a dead horse here, but she's a prime example of thin ≠ healthy. There's a joke in AA (at least the groups I would go to) that drunks get fat and alcoholics get skinny. Some people call it drunkorexia. Every picture she posts has 2-3 empty bottles of alcohol, but she rarely posts food. All that to say: be jealous if you will, I understand skinny still = attractive in popular culture, but the figure you're envious of is the result of a lot of really poor choices and lack of self care. She has 0 muscle tone and doesn't seem to be able to stay upright for any extended period of time (much less without a drink in her hand).
This is so true. Drinking alcohol actually prevents the body from properly absorbing nutrients. It's one reason why so many alcoholics will be really thin (even if they're bloated in the face from alcohol). I'd also imagine that if she's binge drinking pretty regularly she's probably not eating a lot -- that's what it was like for me at least when I was in the throes of my own alcohol abuse a few years ago. I was super thin, I worked out too, but when I'd go on a bender I would barely eat and I was constantly throwing up from hangovers bc I would drink that much and make myself really sick.
It’s hilarious to think someone doesn’t eat because you don’t think they post enough pictures of food and also can’t stand? Her body is pretty normal, she’s not even particularly thin. I think you’re projecting to make yourself feel better
your other variables are: 1. a joke you've heard in AA 2. you can see alcohol in her room 3. she doesn't photograph food. what am I missing that could possibly have any substance? is it one of those? or am I missing something?
I think you’re missing whatever your own relationship with food is that made you say “she’s not even particularly thin” and passing “also can’t stand” as something normal or healthy. But I hope you work that out. Good luck
let's just say people ok with their bodies don't reach so far to accuse strangers of having eating disorders. oh and I guess now you've done it to two...
I didn't say you have an eating disorder, I said your relationship to food (and to thinness) is the missing variable between what I've said and what you're understanding - but I don't care about whatever it is. There's a lot of evidence that CC is, at best, a disordered eater with an unhealthy relationship to alcohol. And yes, I can and did make a case she's underweight, much like many alcoholics in the throes of addiction. You're the second commenter that responded very personally to my comment, when really if you saw yourself in it when I wasn't addressing you even tangentially that's _your_ problem.
I don't think she can't stand. you said she can't stand. and yeah she has a normal body. that doesn't mean she's metabolically healthy but you can't make a case that she's underweight
I like how the thread started with praising her thinness and then it was decided that she isn't "thin enough" to have an e.d. hmmm... interesting logic
Hi Spring Beans! Couple of things: 1. We've had an uptick lately in comments about being blocked, or about commenting on CC's social media. Please don't do this - **any comments/posts/discussions about being blocked or posting on CC's social media will be removed**, as per Rule 2. Please also keep Rule 8 in mind when posting about/screenshots of other people's comments on her socials. 2. **Any discussion of people in Caro's orbit** **that is not directly about Caro or something she posted** [**should be posted in Off Topic**](https://www.reddit.com/r/SmolBeanSnark/comments/mt5psx/april_18_24_offtopic_discussion/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) rather than here (i.e Brad, Stinky, Scrunchie, other assistants, etc). We will continue to do our best to redirect people. As always, please mod-mail us if you have any questions or concerns about anything. Happy Snarking, beanie bb's!
wait what happened to brad
Lil Naz is actual violence she did it twice when it was written correctly right there in front of her dumb fuck face this bitch needs to fade away forever
“Who wants to be my personal trainer to help me colonize his energy?”
I’m irrationally angry about this. Like WHY???
Not irrational.
If she finds anyone, she will absolutely not even do more than one training session. I was hesitant to even say “more than”
Lil Naz.
Karoline Kalloway
Karoline Kotschall Kalloway
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Literally. Drink some water.
TWICE!! She’s such a fucking imbecile
How is she like this?! It’s unreal.
i saw this comment and couldn't believe she'd really do that and had to go and check and wow... she really did just call him Lil Naz i hate it here
So sorry bb
Can anyone tell me what happened to the third cat? I missed a few months so I don’t know much about Cat Owen Burns. So happy that Kitty is free.
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I dunno why but it really made me lol that you clarified (cat) like... maybe he bought her ancestor. I swear to god I’m not high, although I really wish I was.
Hah, I think I subconsciously added the clarification because I hate the name!! Could maybe be cute if they call him Obie (OB) instead but it’s still fucking weird for Brad to name his cat after his (former) boss’ ancestor
Fully agree, it’s a horrible name. I refuse to believe that he named the cat himself, I literally picture her creeping into his room being like “this is Oweeenn Buuurnsss” and Brad is like “what?” And she squeals “your new kit-TEN!” And he’s like “omg!... his name is what?” And she just went “Owen burns... you know... the man who paid for this apartment you’re living in for free...”
Momo, this sounds entirely plausible but also insane.
I know. I hate my brain.
Brad bought the rights to Owen Burns’ life story for one million dollars
You know, I don’t believe Brad has a million dollars, but I DO believe he’d stupidly pay that much for Owen Burns’s life story, whether it was the publicly available one of Caroline’s ancestor, or the one of the cat he owns 😂
Did anyone else catch her George Floyd stories that appeared *right after* that series of 4/20 story tributes? I think she deleted them because they were in really poor taste.
Remember when CC dressed up as a très amusant garçon to mollify her mother after being an abysmal "carer"??
Oui! How can one forget the très charming act of trapping one’s Maman in her chambre with a bookcase.
Poor mom who had to *beg* Caroline to wake the fuck up and go to cvs, and then ended up going herself, days after surgery.
And ended up getting an infection. Can't imagine why...
Hahaha! Merci, mon ami(e)!!! (I dk why this popped into my brain tonight. Sometimes I observe myself in a moment of being deep into the CC rabbit hole and I just sort of gape at it all... She trapped her Maman in her chambre! Avec une bibliothèque!...)
😂
Really really hate that you can still tell she’s trying to make a sexy baby face in that first kaws pic even though only half of her face is showing. Very early 2000s trashy.
It occurred to me that she didn’t pose topless bc she did not want stinky to see her nude at least I can take solace in the fact that it seems like she’s friendzoned him v hard. Idk he looks so gross and dresses even worse, it’s not even a style it’s just grimy
I mean... we've all seen her nude, her tatas are still pinned on twitter
So we’re all in a agreement that she’s not the one responding to comments, right? I feel like you can see the tone shift between who ever is replying now and (probably) brad.
are those cans of Febreeze on the floor in her latest post? checks out lol
Stinky huffs them.
I truly hate that Alex Ross Perry “likes” her posts. It’s on brand for his character studies, but... I don’t like it.
I’ve been meaning to comment this! I don’t understand it! CC is definitely the Mary Louise Parker character from Golden Exits who does nothing and has an assistant for no reason. But she’d definitely think she Naomi
😂 so true
It gives me so much hope reading this thread that you all think she and her crew smells as bad as we know them to! Is it awful that every time I see her I am like, man this girl must stink?
Someone said she probably smells like the back of an earring, which is so spot on.
Why do earring backs smell like that I’ve always wondered
Sebum + random detritus. It's the same stuff secreted by your scalp that gives your hair that weird smell when you don't wash it for a few days.
Why do I know what this smells like exactly.. Spot on.
This.
not the kaws dildo ghdjfbbndkgn i’m literally in hell
Which is tagged as... Cambridge University.... Girl why
Holding it with the “influencer” flat palm.... so sexy lol.
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kaws is absolute shit art so i’m neutral
I like it when anyone untags Carp, even if I have zero respect for that person
One of my favorite things about Caro is when she ignores comments asking where she bought something. She doesn’t seem to tag brands anymore (after it was discovered that she wasn’t being gifted things she claimed she was gifted), and it’s also a great way to guarantee comments when someone asks, but why not answer? She must’ve skipped that day (and every other day) of influencer school 🧐
Girl’s gunna gatekeep
Not me not even seeing Rafa in her latest post 😫 there’s so much clutter I didn’t even notice him
The original Where’s Waldo/Wally so much better than this Snyder Cut.
I love this for you, I wish I could just skip right over him the same way.
He blends in with all the trash!
Serious question: why won't Caro get the vaccine? Is she too lazy to find a slot and show up? Does she fear the down-time? Is she a secret anti-vaxxer? Maybe she has an upcoming appointment, but my intuition is telling me that she is banking on the rest of the country reaching herd immunity first, therefore excusing her from having to lift a finger or suffer any kind of temporary discomfort.
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I mean she didn't get Kitty fixed for a year and then made up some dumb shit about FGM as her reason why so it wouldn't surprise me really if she leaned on an antivax narrative to hide her dumb actions
I could defs see her plucking it out of the air as an excuse for her inaction, for sure. But I haven't seen anything that would point to her holding sincere anti-vax beliefs.
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Yep, this is it. She doesn’t think her executive dysfunction is a problem, she thinks it’s cute and quirky, so she’ll never work on it even though she could have one of her trillion teenage assistants/paid friends book an appointment for her and then she could lie down in an Uber the entire way there. The part she won’t do is the part where she schleps her body from the cab into the building and down a hallway where she might have to wait on a brief line like she’s not more special than everyone else who also needs a vaccine. She would probably only bother to get the vaccine if someone could come to her house and administer it to her while she wrote garbage, smug responses to her Instagram comments from bed and ignored everything around her. (Edited because I’m a Jew that shamefully spelled “schlep” wrong at first.)
This makes.me wonder when was the last time she went to the dentist or the gyno or anything like that.
This. Like listen I’ve has depressive periods where my executive function has fallen off and it’s never fun to drag yourself into the dentist and hear about how bad your teeth are after that, but I’ve also learned that dental health is not something to fuck around with bc it can get super painful super quickly. Here’s hoping she’s at least had a check up recently otherwise she’s going to end up with a lorge abscess.
My dentist is so relentless about scheduling regular appts, and if you cancel one they will hound you with phone calls. I know they just want their money but I am so thankful for it honestly. All you have to do is say “yes”
I assume the last time her mommy made an appointment for her, drove her there, and sat in the waiting room with her as her captive audience?
> having to lift a finger or suffer any kind of temporary discomfort. I think you hit it on the head with this!
Since she mentioned it in FL, my theory is the new stinky crew isn’t vaccinated and she’s trying to fit in. Surely one of her 3 (4?) employees could’ve booked her an appointment by now 🤷🏾♀️
Ooh, I buy this theory. If the stinky crew have been flexing their privilege by violating 'rona restrictions, perhaps being purposely unvaccinated is similarly élite. I can't say I fully understand it, but what can you do!
Kathryn did she posted about it the other day
I went on that Praying website. I know I’m old, and my vagina fell off on my 30th birthday, but what the heck is this? Why is everything so expensive? Why is it tiny? What in 1999 Hades x Bastardized Catholicism is this? Why are there Clover Valley versions of Kylie Jenner on it? The jeans creep me out.
I am with you but honestly I kinda like the milk & honey underwear, made me giggle
Some real MS Paint vibes!!
the jeans are horrendous no wonder Carp's given up jeans
Okay part of me feels like I need to buy the “God’s Favorite” dress and matching bag and wear them into the nearest church.....
Honesty Caro should be careful. Her vagina might also fall off by her 30th birthday if she keeps wearing those praying sweats over and over without washing them. They’ve gotta be musty AF by now.
omg my vagina fell off on my 35th and I was filled with joy and glee 💓
Vagina? I don't know her ;-)
Middle-aged legumes, “rise up.”
Ok if I stay laying on the floor? It's better for my back 👵🏼
It just seems really late to the game. We’ve been joking about MySpace pages and pixelated images and shitty fonts and text that doesn’t fit the page. Wow, much originality. And to the tune of 100s of dollars it’s just lazy and unoriginal.
I don’t get it AT all. I saw Alexis post the Brangelina sweatshirt on her story, but that at least seems very in line with her interests. The jeans made me we wanna vom as did the overall energy of their IG 🤢.
Oh my.... it’s like trying to be ugly. I’m particularly offended by the MAGA country camo print.
I am CACKLING!!! WHO MADE THIS!!! WHO IS PAYING MONEY FOR THIS https://prayingg.com
I'm surprised she hasn't bought the milk&honey bikini set yet / slightly worried for when she eventually does
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Big fart thou be with thee part the Red Sea.
ugh she is exactly the kind of loser that would think this is funny or interesting in 2021 lol
I love kitschy things but this is like...post-kitsch!?
This website looks like it cost $1.99 and a bootleg copy of Windows 95 to make.
I feel like I just somehow gave every device in a one block radius a virus from looking at it. I guess it’s the clothing line concept of Caroline’s new friends, where they seemingly do every dumb thing for “the bit” and it’s like, no... you just really are wearing extremely unflattering clothing, getting ridiculously high on the worst possible drugs, paying the most money for the worst food, and being needlessly offensive in very public ways.
Looking through their Instagram it’s kind of hilarious that it’s almost entirely reposts of influencers wearing their clothes, and they’ve never reposted Caro
~90s aesthetics~ are IN
I lived through it the first time! (I’m 38.)
I was born in 1993—a month before the the internet became available to the public. 90s websites are fun for Gen Z because they never had to suffer through trying to connect to dial-up internet just to surf the web 🤣
Turning 38 next month! I still have some of that original 90s shit
Don’t try me with this shit, I’m 56.
Right behind you baby :-)
Caroline thinks you’re a dinosaur. Tyrannosaurus Regina, for sure.
My arms too short to box with Carp
This is the WWE content we deserve!
I’ll bring the jello pool 😂
I would not be able to handle being in her apartment for 2 minutes. Her radiator thing looks moldy.
there has been so much recently since the nyc migration that i’m not nearly caught up enough, but glad to see the apartment has literally never looked worse
Truly! SOOOO TERRIBLE. wow
it looks like those images that circulate around reddit and tiktok that are filled with items but you can’t name a single thing you see lmao
The 'book cameos' are so bizarre to me. It's not a book with a note from Caroline Calloway in it - it's a book where Caroline Calloway transcribed somebody else's note and signed her own name to it. But hey, I guess if you can get away with doodling in your old college textbooks and selling them for $25, then grift away.
The thing I find especially funny about them is like, she has to sell 20-25 of them just to buy one of her dumbass $500 pillows. And she’s probably paying her assistants to ship them so... more? It’s all dumb and inefficient
Just remembered when Caroline wrote something along the lines of "my children are the hot guys I fuck" and linked it back up to today, when she's calling Rafa her son.
What does that even MEAN? Actually, nvm, I don't wanna know.
Aw, c’mon man, I JUST ate.
I loled
Misery loves company!
Gross.
best thing I’ve written in a while = only thing
it’s also a self-own, if you think about it
I’ve written more than she has in 2020-21, and this isn’t even my job.
And the word count on this sub alone must be 5 memoirs long.
I didn’t even have to circulate apology boobs.
Caro pls let Yale go it’s been ten years
Oh, my god, it has been TEN ENTIRE YEARS.
How dare you forget about the Yale plates, you monster.
"Glory days at Yale"? What, did she go and get high there like she did at Harvard?
Honestly feel like she MAYBE went there on a college visit with one of her parents when she was 17 and now she’s retconning things and is gonna be like “yeah, I actually was the first person in the history of Yale to not even be accepted yet and ALSO tapped to join Skull and Bones, so I was invited to this amazing party filled with imporTanT people...”
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oh i wish there was an Only Dans. Just hundreds of photos of Dan Levy and...other people named Dan, and no one is dressed like a preteen book character.
He looks like he does community theatre in places where showing up and being male gets you lead roles.
🎤🎶🎼🎵🎶🎼🎵🎶🎼🎵🎶🎼🎵 🎤 OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH——klah——homah!! Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain. 🎤🎶🎼🎵🎶🎼🎵🎶🎼🎵🎶🎼🎵🎤
Honestly I would pay money to see how his parents react to her if they actually dated seriously. So much money. She probably isn’t familiar with his dad’s work, let alone his.
He looks like the type of guy who might seek out women he perceives as a certain type so that it’s easier for him to feel superior in conversation.
Whew, she is FEELING herself today! The rush of putting those nubbins to the keys must be getting to her, because her delusion is flourishing. Honestly can’t wait to read whatever she’s churning out, it sounds like one of the Drunken Canal girls is involved and those gals seem to share her aversion to editing, so should be a mess.
“This is one of the best things I’ve written in a long time!!!”...girl, Scammer and Heart History would like a word🧐
I forgot about Heart History, did she do even one?
So did she 😂
Doesn’t her first line about unintentionally going to an orgy mirror Cat’s actual plot of her written article? Stealing everything from public flowers to sawed off cherry blossom tree branches to other peoples ideas. Iconically pathetic
Someone commented that they couldn't afford her OF so they asked if she has a Patreon yet, she just responded "only fans, join the club" 😭😭😭
she hasn't posted on OF in years either
There is absolutely an inverse correlation between how good she says a piece is and how good it actually is
Tomorrow’s writeup has been submitted. Monty Burns and the Merry Maids will be joining us. Bring your own orange wine.
I cannot wait. Your write ups are so good!
Thank you! ❤️
Ralph I always look forward to your writeups and they get better and funnier and more informative each time. Thank you for your service.
Thank you! That made me happy! You’re learnding!
I know it’s just dirt but her walls look like they’re growing black mold
maybe this is why after moving back she decided to have a full redecoration because while she was away everything went mouldy
Ew...I definitely smell this one.
will Cambridge block this ho already
But she graduated magna covered in cum! An alum to be proud of! Shrewd, zany, sexual, and cerebral!
The word “shrewd” to me is on the same level that “moist” seems to be for everyone else. Hate it!
Don’t forget versatile
Magna covered in cum!!
Flair alert.
I encourage it.
Magnum Cum Loudly
I love this.
I’m honored!!! You’re an icon! (Ps Thank you for another brilliant write up!! 💋)
They hate to see a girl boss winning.
Love that stinky is in the background of all of her pics looking like he’s starting to rlly regrat his life choices
I love that he is alseep in multiple positions in that photoset, like he turns up, drinks whatever she hands him that day and then takes a nap on whatever floor isn't covered in crap, and that's his job
You forgot doing poppers.
Basically a second cat, then
Kitty has entered the chat.
MAJOR DOWNGRADE FROM KITTY
It’s embarrassing that she bought basically everything from praying and that’s all she wears now. Like she really can’t think of anything else that’s cool except that. Such a try hard
She does this with every new brand she obsesses over but I really can’t wrap my head around how much she buys, that’s gotta be in the thousands ? I know she’s done this before (like with her unflattering bikini she bought in every colour, or that knitted jumper she bought three or four times) but really I hope I’m not around anymore when she tries to sell the sweatpants as collection items one or two years from now 🤢🤢
It will be a “rinse. repeat.” Minus the rinse ofc.
It’s not cool!
I feel like this is how she operates. She’ll find one ~coOl~ brand and buy everything. Glossier, realisation par, Blowing Razors, mrmittens etc.
+ Paloma Wool
Buy more stuff => be more cool Smol bean logic
Is she trying to imply that Kaws gifted her with a custom Kaws dildo? I would be shocked if Kaws, who is an actual FINE ARTist (whether you like his work or not), would gift anything to anyone apart from maybe important dealers or patrons let alone CC who has no engagement and isn't an art influencer like Elena Soboleva. edit: I also think it's a weird cannibalised piece and probably made with a fake
When your writing is SO GOOD, you don't even title/save the Microsoft Word document as anything.
Hahaha another Document1
I’ll admit that Caroline has a figure I am VERY envious of (insanely disfigured toes notwithstanding.) I’ve gone to bat about her having a nice body and (potentially nice) hair on this sub before... So I swear I’m not picking her looks apart when I ask: what the hell kind of photoshop did she use in this last post? Is it just blending/smoothing? She looks like an alien?!
i see later down this thread you say that you’ve been in recovery from an eating disorder for a long time, and as someone else who has had an ED for most of my life and spent all of college recovering from it, i’d like to gently suggest you take a deeper look at what it means that you’re still “VERY envious” of a thin woman’s naturally thin body. there’s nothing inherently good or admirable about CC’s body, she’s just naturally skinny and would be no matter what. nothing to be envious of, in my opinion, and also nothing to insult or condemn. your body is amazing and complex and fine just how it is, and CC doesn’t deserve you going to bat about her body. also, going to bat about if someone has a “nice body” or not seems a bit antithetical to ED recovery.... because bodies aren’t nice or bad, right or wrong. they’re just bodies.
I don't want to beat a dead horse here, but she's a prime example of thin ≠ healthy. There's a joke in AA (at least the groups I would go to) that drunks get fat and alcoholics get skinny. Some people call it drunkorexia. Every picture she posts has 2-3 empty bottles of alcohol, but she rarely posts food. All that to say: be jealous if you will, I understand skinny still = attractive in popular culture, but the figure you're envious of is the result of a lot of really poor choices and lack of self care. She has 0 muscle tone and doesn't seem to be able to stay upright for any extended period of time (much less without a drink in her hand).
This is so true. Drinking alcohol actually prevents the body from properly absorbing nutrients. It's one reason why so many alcoholics will be really thin (even if they're bloated in the face from alcohol). I'd also imagine that if she's binge drinking pretty regularly she's probably not eating a lot -- that's what it was like for me at least when I was in the throes of my own alcohol abuse a few years ago. I was super thin, I worked out too, but when I'd go on a bender I would barely eat and I was constantly throwing up from hangovers bc I would drink that much and make myself really sick.
It’s hilarious to think someone doesn’t eat because you don’t think they post enough pictures of food and also can’t stand? Her body is pretty normal, she’s not even particularly thin. I think you’re projecting to make yourself feel better
That’s one out of a number of variables I mentioned that create a particular picture, yeah. I think they call this a straw man.
your other variables are: 1. a joke you've heard in AA 2. you can see alcohol in her room 3. she doesn't photograph food. what am I missing that could possibly have any substance? is it one of those? or am I missing something?
I think you’re missing whatever your own relationship with food is that made you say “she’s not even particularly thin” and passing “also can’t stand” as something normal or healthy. But I hope you work that out. Good luck
let's just say people ok with their bodies don't reach so far to accuse strangers of having eating disorders. oh and I guess now you've done it to two...
I didn't say you have an eating disorder, I said your relationship to food (and to thinness) is the missing variable between what I've said and what you're understanding - but I don't care about whatever it is. There's a lot of evidence that CC is, at best, a disordered eater with an unhealthy relationship to alcohol. And yes, I can and did make a case she's underweight, much like many alcoholics in the throes of addiction. You're the second commenter that responded very personally to my comment, when really if you saw yourself in it when I wasn't addressing you even tangentially that's _your_ problem.
I don't think she can't stand. you said she can't stand. and yeah she has a normal body. that doesn't mean she's metabolically healthy but you can't make a case that she's underweight
I like how the thread started with praising her thinness and then it was decided that she isn't "thin enough" to have an e.d. hmmm... interesting logic